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Learning Life Over	By : Meander Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Draco Views: 69712 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 39
- 40
- 41
Sorry for the long delay in updates! Holidays proved to be a
busier time than expected, and I had little time to write.

Thank you for all the long and detailed reviews! I�ve left
responses at the end of the chapter.

I was tempted to title this chapter �Fuck Like a Lion,� but
luckily that was only a passing fancy.

Chapter 40- With His Whole Heart

�� Draco
grunted with surprise as his back hit the bed. He�d thought he was going to pin
Harry easily, given how unexpected his kiss was, but he had to give up that idea
as Harry straddled his waist and stared down at him for a moment. His eyes felt
like hammers.

�� Which was
rather appropriate, actually, given the effect his words had had on Draco.
Draco found himself arching his back, willing Harry to get on with things. If
Harry just sat there and stared and didn�t move, Draco would take over and fuck
him well enough to make Harry addicted to it.

�� But Harry
seemed to have taken the time to make a final decision rather than hesitate,
because the next moment he learned down and cupped Draco�s jaw in both hands,
holding him still as he pried open his mouth with his tongue.

�� Draco gave,
but not too easily. He was not yielding. He was anything but gentle. And he
wanted to savor what started to build between them now: a long, intense
burning, unlike the lively flames of the first time they�d had sex, but still
enough to make him harden.

�� That Harry
had said those things to him-

�� He�d
banished the guilt haunting Draco�s mind as none of Draco�s own advice and
reassurances, or those of the Healers he sought out, had ever managed to do.
Draco couldn�t get close enough to Harry to answer that. Harry would have to
fuck him just the right way to get close enough himself.

�� At least he
appeared to know that, from the way he kissed. Draco had never known Harry like
this: his hands holding Draco�s face with a tightness just on the edge of pain,
making his jaw ache the way it did when he�d been sucking someone off for more
than five minutes. His tongue moved as though heedless of the existence of
Draco�s, pressing it flat against his teeth, probing and twisting and jabbing.

�� Draco
growled low in his throat. �Yes,� he said, when Harry had to pull away because
they both gasped like divers coming up from under water. �This is what I want.�
He lifted his hips and slammed them against Harry�s, winning a ragged groan
from him. �Fuck me, Harry, or I swear to God I�ll hold you down and make tears
run from your eyes with what I do to you.�

�� Harry�s
eyes were clearer than Draco had ever seen them, more present, focused
on him. Some final barrier had fallen between them. Draco wasn�t sure why- it
could have been the fact that he�d exposed a weakness to Harry, where, before,
he�d been careful to show him strength that Harry could lean on- but he saw the
Auror now, the man who�d existed before only in those brief moments when he
actually caught criminals.

�� You don�t
have to worry about getting fucked,� Harry said, and leaned over to
slide his tongue down Draco�s ear. �About visiting your mother without blushing
in embarrassment, maybe, but not about that.�

�� Draco
shivered a bit. But anyone could say words like that. It was time to see if
Harry meant them.

�� Really?�
he asked, and shoved upward with all his strength, trying to roll Harry over
and put him on his back.

*

�� Harry was
responding before he thought, Auror training combining with his instincts. He
slammed his hands onto Draco�s shoulders and pushed back, refusing to let Draco
use his momentum to good advantage. His arms ached with the pressure, but he
didn�t care. He was doing this. This was his test. It was one thing to
lie back and let Draco do all the work; he could still pretend to himself that
he wasn�t gay if he did that, just enjoying a new experience. It was another
thing to initiate sex himself. And he was going to do that, and he was
going to prove what he was, and that sex with Draco wasn�t something he
found boring or trivial.

�� Draco
hissed as Harry pushed him down again. Harry smiled at him, once, and then
tilted his head back, applying his tongue to the pulse point in Draco�s throat.
It had occurred to him that if Draco were too busy moaning to move, they
wouldn�t have this struggle.

�� The taste
of salt and sweat and skin seemed much stronger in his mouth than it did during
even his abortive attempt to suck Draco off a few days ago. Draco tensed up at
once, and his heart beat so fast Harry was briefly concerned.

�� Then he
told himself not to worry, that Draco would tell him if something hurt beyond
endurance. Theresa wanted him to work on building trust with Draco. While he
doubted she�d had quite this in mind, it was still a way. He dragged his
tongue from Draco�s throat to the beginning of his robes, and then paused,
focusing all of his accidental magic into a single fierce point, like a beam of
sunlight pointed through a prism of glass.

�� Draco gave
a shout as his clothes vanished. Harry, in turn, gave a little snarl of
victory. It wasn�t often that he�d managed to do something that precise and
finely tuned. Shaking furniture and portraits on the walls was hardly a matter
of finesse.

�� He sat back
and did it again, Vanishing his robes. He didn�t greatly care if they turned up
or not. Both he and Draco had other clothes.

�� Draco lay
on the bed, staring up at him with a slightly dazed expression. Harry didn�t
know if it came from surprise or awe at his power. He had more important things
to think about, like biting Draco�s nipples and then snaking a hand down his
body to grasp his cock.

�� As if two
sensations at once were his undoing, Draco convulsed and lost the ability to
talk. Harry could make out his own name in Draco�s broken sobs, and now and
then what sounded like the start of an instruction, but he didn�t want to
listen to instructions. He knew what to do, now that Draco had fucked him once.
He would do this his way.

�� I want to
know where you put the oil that you used on me the other day,� he said, proud
of how calm his voice was.

�� Draco
glared at him through hazed eyes. �You�re enjoying this,� he said.
�Bastard.�

�� Oh, come
on, Draco,� Harry said, and made the twisting, pinching motion with one hand
that Draco used when he wanked. �You can�t tell me that you�re not enjoying it,
too.�

�� Didn�t
mean- �

�� I don�t
care,� Harry said. His voice had gone lower than usual, which wasn�t something
he had experience of. For a moment, he was inclined to worry. Who am I and
what have I done with Harry Potter?

�� And then
the inclination blew away, as Draco jerked his head towards the table beside
the bed. Harry leaned smoothly but quickly back, opened the drawer, and
Summoned the oil. If he left it too long, Draco might find the strength to sit
up and be a nuisance again.

�� He didn�t
want that. Quite apart from wanting to demonstrate his commitment to this,
Harry had an erection of his own now that treated every rub against the fabric
as an invitation to pleasure. He wanted to actually be having sex with Draco
when he came, not humping the bed like an idiot.

�� But Draco
lay there, watching him with eyes that had gone dark and critical, as if he
would evaluate Harry�s performance and score him on it when he was done. Harry
wondered what he could do to counteract that impulse.

�� Ah.

�� You
matter,� he told Draco, rubbing a little of the oil around his left index
finger. �And I�m going to fuck you like you matter. Has that ever happened
before?�

�� Draco
blinked, several times. Then he said, �Honestly, Harry, you say the most
perverse things during sex.�

�� And, once
again, I choose to take that as a compliment,� Harry said, and circled one finger
down Draco�s erection, behind it, and then around the ring of muscle he would
need to ease and loosen, watching Draco�s face narrowly all the while. Critical
looks were one thing, and to be banished. An honest expression of pain was
another.

*

�� Draco
convinced himself he needed to spread his legs a bit more, and tried his best
to control his mounting excitement. Harry didn�t seem as naturally inclined to
sex talk as Draco was, but when he tried-

�� Well.
His own brand of it is interesting enough.

�� Strange,
how the voice of his own thoughts could sound so cool while his heart labored
and his mouth went dry, and he grunted a little with the push of Harry�s finger
into his body. Harry had used enough oil that Draco felt, if not comfortable,
at least all right, and nodded to Harry when he�d been stroking in and out for
a while. Harry added a second finger.

�� His eyes
wouldn�t miss a flinch, Draco knew, and so he fought to maintain his
unconcerned expression. And, in fact, after a few minutes, the pain passed
enough that he could raise an eyebrow and ask, �Is that the best you can do?�

�� Harry�s
response was to hook and curl his fingers upwards, obviously searching for
Draco�s prostate.

�� He found it
at once, which wasn�t fair. Draco twitched for a long moment, and forced
out, �Beginner�s luck.�

�� Harry gave
a low, hungry laugh in response which stole most of the irritation from Draco
and replaced it with a simmering fire. God, if he could fuck like he laughed...

�� He really
did have to stop thinking things like this, Draco thought. The amount of
precome leaking down his erection was absolutely embarrassing.

�� Whatever
you say, Malfoy.� Harry gave him another lick on the throat, rather like a lion
testing the jugular before it bit, and then slid closer. A third finger joined
the other two while Draco was reflecting on the fact that a tongue on his skin
just there could make him so willing to spread his legs and offer his
arse to Harry. He�d never considered his throat a particularly intimate or
sensitive spot.

�� His body
begged to differ with him now. Perhaps it had to do with Harry�s technique-

�� Or perhaps
it just had to do with Harry.

�� Enough,�
he said.

�� Harry
raised an eyebrow at him. �I haven�t spent as long preparing you as you did
preparing me.�

�� And
still he doesn�t groan, or moan, or pant. I�ll change that. Draco managed a
smirk. �Yes, and I�ve done this before, Harry, which you hadn�t. I�m not nearly
as fragile.�

�� Fragile,�
Harry repeated, eyes darkening, and then he pulled his fingers out with a jerk,
bent down, and gathered Draco�s legs, lifting them easily until they rested on
his shoulders. �Let�s see whether you�ll repeat that when I�m inside you. Not
that I think you�ll have the brains left to do so.�

�� Draco
gritted his teeth as Harry began to slide in. It did hurt, the way it always
did.

�� But over
and around and above the pain echoed the greedy voice of his lust. Yes. I
want this.

*

�� Harry had
never known that mere bodily sensations could come so near to shattering him.
God knew he�d learned to ignore most of them while he worked, from hunger to
the pain of a sprained ankle. There was always the chance to relax later, when
he returned to his flat or the Ministry. He hadn�t believed, before he came to
Malfoy Manor, that pleasure could distract him.

�� But this
did. Oh, it did. Harry flung his head back, panting. He didn�t know how
Draco had kept from pushing forward or coming at once when he was inside him.
His muscles flexed on the edge of control.

�� Yes, you
know how he did it. He was concerned about hurting you, and he likes you.
That�s the least you can think about with Draco.

�� Harry shook
the sweat and the damp hair out of his eyes, and looked at Draco. �Feeling
fragile yet, Malfoy?� he asked. The sentence came out with only one gasp in the
middle and a stammer that never managed to manifest. Harry congratulated
himself.

�� You
haven�t proven yourself yet, Potter.� Draco had his head tilted against the
pillows, and that critical look back in his darkened gray eyes. �Remember how
much you complained and wriggled about when I fucked you? I have the same right
if your performance isn�t up to standard.�

�� Harry
raised an eyebrow and thrust forward.

�� First
try, he thought smugly as Draco gave a cry like a wounded animal, and that
helped him to ignore the rippling sensation of utter pleasure that traveled
through him. He would not come yet. He was focused on making Draco come first,
and, in fact, enjoy this so much that he never thought about taking another
lover.

�� Never.
I�ll be his last.

�� And Harry
threw his heart and back into it, and fucked the way he flew, or dueled.
Nothing less than his whole heart, his full effort, could go into this, so everything
did. Heave, and push, and heave, and push, and God, Draco was squirming
under him and uttering cries on the edge of helplessness, and Harry loved
it.

�� Out went
his hand and closed around Draco�s cock, stroking it. He didn�t find it hard to
do both things at once, any more than he found it hard to fly and catch the
Snitch at the same time. He didn�t bother with more than two full strokes
before he pinched the head.

�� And then
Draco was there, just there, and fire descended on Harry and whirled him
out of his own body as he came. He was fairly sure that he shouted, or roared.
Draco would probably make lion jokes later.

�� He didn�t
care. God, at the moment he cared about nothing except the fact that
he�d given himself over to this wholly, and yes, he was gay, and yes, he had
pretty much handed himself to Draco Malfoy.

�� If
you�re going to do something, do it right.

*******

��

�� fallangelsquill:
Thank you so much! I worked very hard on the dialogue in Chapter 39, trying to
avoid exactly the pitfalls you discuss.

�� Kayo: Thank
you! That response of Harry�s was what I wanted the whole chapter to lead up
towards. It doesn�t mean much, after all, if Draco bares his soul but never
gets a response in return.

�� DrarryisLove:
Sure, I�ll add you to the update list.

�� LJ: Wow.
Thank you. I don�t think it sounds silly. I�ve had that feeling when reading a
story before, and I�m thrilled if this story is managing to provide it for you.

�� Gloria:
Perfectly all right. That was what prompted my own disappearance.

�� Draco and
trust are big issues in this story, and are going to be the prime ones in the
little explosion I�m planning. (All right, not so little). Whether or not you
trust Draco probably depends on both your own perspective and the chapter/POV
in question. I hope to make it change often. I think that�s a sign that
an author�s left a story open to the interpretation of readers, rather than
forcing her own opinion on it. (I dislike most stories where I can tell exactly
who the author hates, who she likes, who the person is meant to be who bullied
her in high school...)

�� And Draco�s
war-past in Chapter 39 was only a bit planned; it mostly emerged out of thin
air when it came time to write the chapter, so I�m very, very glad that you
liked it. And that�s what Harry can offer Draco: a sense of home, of mattering,
even of redemption if he wants it. Harry�s just as concerned about Draco�s
happiness and what he can offer Draco as Draco is concerned that way about him.

�� Mumsi: Hee!
I cannot be sorry. That is what I want to do, stir up the reader�s emotions.

�� Licelli:
Thank you very much! It�s always a compliment to be praised for my writing
ability. Makes my day.

�� I hope you
continue wanting to brain both of them until the end of the story.
Neither of them will ever be completely right about the other, only less wrong.
- 39
- 40
- 41
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Learning Life Over