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You Will Not Kiss Me	By : Prosperosdaughter Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Snape/Remus Views: 22836 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: JK Rowling & her associates own the Harry Potter universe and I make no money from my stories.

Chapter List
- 39
- 40
- 41
Chapter 40: On Bonding

It had clearly played on Lupin's mind, distressed him even. He had told Dumbledore of his meeting with Moody and begged him not to tell Moody of his and Snape's impending bonding, lest Moody take it on himself to ruin it in some way. Oddly, Lupin's clear distress did seem to impact on Dumbledore who professed himself disturbed for never having known of this antipathy before. Was something like this really just never mentioned between them? Snape wondered. They were, after all, very old friends.

Nevertheless, Dumbledore reassured Lupin he would not tell Moody of their plans, and, indeed, with Snape as the other bonding partner, would not dream of any type of announcement at all.

It struck Snape as revealing that Dumbledore took Lupin's distress so seriously, yet his own concerns had been swatted away like an insect of annoyance, even with some disdain. Not just Moody, but other matters of concern to Snape too. He recalled quite clearly how, after the Yule Ball, he had told Dumbledore of his conversation with Karkaroff about their darkening Marks, but Dumbledore had been quite dismissive saying he could make that connection without Snape's assistance. It had hardly been surprising Snape had been in such a foul mood after the Ball. Their Marks were darkening, Potter's scar had been hurting, he wasn't convinced Moody was sane or possibly even Moody at all! And yet it was as nothing to Albus Dumbledore. Only Lupin seemed to give Snape credence.

"Perhaps we'll have to rely on the curse of the Defence against the Dark Arts post to finish him off," Lupin quipped. "It seems quite efficient in this respect."

"As long as it doesn't take any students with him..." Snape retorted darkly.

It was three in the morning, and sleep had eluded Snape. Snape surprised himself that he could be so nervous. He did not consider himself fanciful at all but this night he was plagued by nightmares.

Remus and Severus stand before Albus, on the dias of Madame Malkin's boutique. They are confident and happy, laughing together. They are wearing matching waistcoats of golden brocade. (Really, thinks Snape, I don't think so, in the way of dreaming minds.) All the staff of Hogwarts are there in their wedding best robes, even Filch and Mrs. Norris. Hagrid has his hair in bunches, and Remus and Severus are startled by that, but look!

Some Hogwarts ghosts are there, the Bloody Baron and Nearly Headless Nick to represent their Houses and Professor Binns too. Over to the right are the rest of the Marauders and Lily, and Harry is sitting on her lap. But he's 14, and in his Triwizard champion clothes. Remus and Severus comment that it's odd, but look!

There is Regulus, Avery, Nott, Mulciber, the Black sisters, all three of them – and we haven't seen them together for a long time, Remus comments to Severus, who agrees, and look!

There's Lucius Malfoy, with Cissy (but wasn't she over there with her sisters?) and Draco. Tonks and David, Amelie and Jasper, and Archimedes and Jonathan are there too. Interesting, it's not full moon, but the werewolves are in their wolf form, and very fine they look too, but look!

There's the whole Weasley family and the twins appear to be ushering the other guests. Remus and Severus wonder if they requested that, but look! It's not Fred and George, it's Fabian and Gideon, and Remus and Severus welcome them back heartily.

Albus begins the ceremony. It is a beautiful day, and the sun dapples on the happy couple. They place the circlets around each other's upper arm. Dark clouds roll across the sun and the atmosphere tenses in the heavy foreboding manner of dreams.

Moody stomps up to the dias, stabbing the floor with his staff, and rips away the collar of Snape's waistcoat to reveal his bite to the assembled company. "Look at the pert bitch," he shouts. The Slytherins laugh, and Black, Remus's friend, laughs, and they all cat call and jeer and Snape feels the heat of humiliation crawling under his skin.

Snape thrashed awake and steadied his breathing, swearing under his breath, but soon settled down to sleep again.

Albus begins the ceremony. It is a beautiful day, and the sun dapples on the happy couple. They place the circlets around each other's upper arm. Dark clouds roll across the sun and the atmosphere tenses in the heavy foreboding manner of dreams.

"But, dear heart, you are my little half-blood," Lucius purrs as he stands next to Snape wearing the gold brocade instead of Remus, and pulls Snape into an unforgiving and harsh embrace that he cannot shake loose because suddenly he is only a teenager and much smaller, and that moulds and forms into Lucius forcing Severus onto his knees in front of the assembled onlookers, who jeer and cat call and cheer Lucius on as he forces himself onto Severus. "It's been such a long time, my darling little half-blood," Lucius sneers and he yanks on Severus's hair, as he used to, as he thrusts. The pain spreads outwards, but look!

A large shape, a huge wolf with flashing red eyes, growling, snarling and slavering, spittle spraying from its cruel teeth and jaws bounds towards Severus, and tears out Lucius's throat, arterial blood spraying over the guests before leaving him torn and splayed on the floor, and then turns on Severus. He hears Remus's voice, "if another man touches you, I will know and I will not be forgiving. To either of you," as it leaps to rip out his throat...

Snape sat bolt upright in his bed, his breathing fast and his eyes wide as he cast them around himself wildly. The blood. The fear. His heart was hammering in his chest. He had known it was a dream and that the wolf would kill him but it had taken him so long to wake up. He quickly looked at Lupin, who was oblivious to it all. He drank some water and then tried some meditation for a while to calm his breathing and gradually drifted off to sleep once more.

Albus begins the ceremony. It is a beautiful day, and the sun dapples on the happy couple. They place the circlets around each other's upper arm. Dark clouds roll across the sun and the atmosphere tenses in the heavy foreboding manner of dreams.

The Dark Mark burns!

It burns deeply and harshly!

Snape folds over and tries to swallow his gasp of pain and the gold of the circlet becomes molten and runs down his arm leaving searing agony in its traces. All the other Death Eaters are doubled over in pain too. The Dark Lord stands tall and rejuvenated amongst them. "I do not consent," his high, sibilant voice rings out to Severus, "Crucio!" and as Severus starts to scream and fall, the Dark Lord turns on Remus, who pushes Snape behind him and has drawn his wand, but too late, "AVADA KED.."

Snape awoke with a cry, drenched in sweat, barely able to breathe, his chest constricted in terror. Real, abject terror. That voice again. So near. So real. Remus!

He turned to look at Lupin, who was sleeping the sleep of the innocent, even a small smile playing on his lips. Snape watched Lupin sleep for a long time, watching the steady rise and fall of his chest and trying to regulate his own breathing in time with him. Eventually, his breath steadied. He wanted to stroke Lupin's hair and his face, but didn't want to wake him, so eventually he got out of bed, found an old grey nightshirt at the bottom of a drawer and padded to the drawing room to call for a camomile tea to relax himself, but his mind was frantic.

He slumped in his chair by the fire, tea in hand, his mouth resting against the other hand, staring into middle space.

He feared nothing so much as the return of the Dark Lord. That the Dark Lord had been in this school, Snape's home, possessing Quirrell for the school year had shaken Snape severely. He had, until that point, believed that the Dark Lord would never be able to set foot here with Dumbledore alive, and that this would be one place Snape could be safe. But he had.

The following year, a revenant of the Dark Lord had almost regained his form by draining Miss Weasley of her very life force. Now the Mark was darkening. His other fears – humiliation, violence, Moody, even that side of Lupin that could freeze his blood that he had seen but once – they were all as nothing compared with the thought of the Dark's Lord's return.

If the Dark Lord returned, he had no doubt that Dumbledore would send him back. But he wasn't a Death Eater anymore. He did not want to plot the genocide of Muggles and magical creatures. He did not want to torture, maim and kill Muggle-borns or those who did not agree with blood purity. He certainly didn't want to torment and kill werewolves for sport. He didn't want to use his intelligence and skill to create curses and potions as Dark weapons for the Dark Lord to inflict pain and terror. He couldn't deny that he done all of this once. He'd done it with a will – with purpose – with relish. He had thought it a deserving and worthy cause. He had been embittered and twisted by his unhappy life so he had been a zealot for the Dark Lord. But not anymore. None of it anymore.

He had made a wizard's solemn vow to Dumbledore that he would do anything Dumbledore asked in Lily's memory and to keep her boy safe, and he was bound by that vow. It had been nearly fourteen years since Snape had stood before the Dark Lord, the man who held his blood bond and who had punished, tortured, tormented, mocked, humiliated, elevated, praised and admired Snape, just as he had with all of his other followers. He would be expected to return to the Dark Lord's service. Both of his masters would expect it of him. But he wasn't a Death Eater anymore. How would he do those things?

How would he ever look Lupin in the eyes if he did those things? He and Lupin had discussed his days as a Death Eater before he had sought out Dumbledore. They both thought those abominations were in his past. Never to be repeated. He screwed his eyes shut at the horror of Lupin thinking he had become a Death Eater once more. He dragged both his palms across his face, his palms rasping across his morning stubble.

He didn't even know if he could do those things now. Perhaps, he would go mad instead. He hung his head in his hands. Was there ever a worse time to think than early in the morning following nightmares? He tipped his head back and looked into the bedroom where Lupin slept.

Should he bond with Lupin at all? If the Dark Lord returned, Lupin would be safer without Snape as his husband. Moody was certainly right in that respect: if the Dark Lord returned and found out about them, what he would do to both of them would be vicious, excruciating and ultimately lethal, but only once he had prolonged their suffering exquisitely into insanity.

How could he endanger Lupin: this man who he had come to love so dearly? He left his chair and returned to the bedroom, sitting on the edge of the bed and looked lovingly at Lupin, sleeping so deeply. Then he stood and ran his hands over their new waistcoats hanging from the wardrobe door that Lupin had picked up from Madame Malkin, just toying with the buttons and the hems in thought.

How could he give Lupin up? He had become Snape's world. They were to soul-bond for a reason. Lupin spoke to Snape's soul – Lupin Lightened Snape's soul and made him think his ultimate redemption was possible. In fact, if he gave Lupin up, he would be giving in to everything that was wrong and Dark, reverting to his miserable existence that fed on spite and hatred. He and Lupin and their soul bonding stood for everything that the Dark Lord hated – love, friendship, bonding and Lightness of the soul between wizarding kind, no matter the blood status or breed.

He wouldn't give in to his fear. He would protect Lupin from the Dark Lord, but he would not give him up because happiness sometimes had to be fought for. It had to be won. This man made him happier than he knew was possible.

And I deserve this happiness, he thought defiantly. The malignant spell of self-doubt was broken and he got back into bed and kissed Lupin's forehead lightly.

"Sev'rus," Lupin said sleepily, "What's the matter? You should be asleep," Lupin yawned widely, "big day today," making Snape smile as wrapped his arms around the groggy man.

"Nothing, Remus. Nothing at all. I'm just excited," he murmured and fell asleep.

Snape and Lupin had Apparated to the field in Snowdonia after lunch and then on to the farmhouse, where Dumbledore was waiting with Fawkes. Dumbledore told them a house elf, Tippy, had been assigned to them, so their catering was taken care of for the weekend. Lupin and Snape had changed their clothes there and Snape had to confess to himself that he was nervous. Nervous because he was dressed in new clothes, bespoke for their bonding. He felt oddly superstitious, although he was not a superstitious man. Lupin stood behind him as Snape started to do up his buttons in the mirror. Lupin took over, kissing his Claiming bite before buttoning the waistcoat slowly and almost with reverence, smoothing the woollen fabric over Snape's slim form.

"It's a beautiful colour on you, Severus," Lupin said quietly. "The colour that follows twilight."

ooo0000ooo

It was the time between times: twilight. Neither night nor day and magically auspicious.

Snape and Lupin stood before Dumbledore on the ancient stone. Dumbledore had cast a domed warming charm around them to protect them from the bitter December mountain top air that squalled around them.

Snape and Lupin knelt facing each other each other, each holding a circlet.

"You are here to bond to each other, your souls as well as your bodies. These circlets will bond to your arm and manifest your love and fidelity to each other and safeguard your souls for each other. If either is treacherous, the safeguarding sanctity of the bond will be broken, and the circlet will fall away with the bond itself."

Each man placed his circlet around the other's left upper arm and they snapped into place and held their left hands over them so they both faced each other. Standing thus, Dumbledore raised his wand and cast the bonding charm, calling upon this sacred place to accept and bless the union of these two souls and to bond the men for the rest of their days, to love, to care and to protect each other; to be faithful, loyal and true unto death.

The earth answered. It augured well. The atmosphere charged with static. The air became still as the squalling winds dropped, and sounds became dull around them as if time stood still for them, then Fawkes ascended to the air, fluting his hauntingly beautiful song as he weaved around in the air above them. The casting of Dumbledore became visible as crackling strands of pure iridescent magic hovered in the air and then split out to each man's arm, opalescent flames licking around each hand that grasped the arm and each circlet forming a fine mesh over hand and gold. The mesh seemed to pulse with magic and then each circlet appeared to melt into the very skin that wore it.

Snape gasped as he felt the cold metal heat incrementally and then subsume itself into his very flesh, mildly burning his nerve endings as the gold turned red in his skin, and then started to cool and, in the cooling, become black, as if his skin were inked black. He watched as the same happened to Lupin, who beamed with happiness at Snape as the magic cooled, and Snape gazed back in wonder. Where Snape held Lupin's arm, he could feel the circlet deep within his flesh.

The bond had taken. Lupin was his; he was Lupin's.

"Congratulations. The ancient magic of this mountain has blessed your union," Dumbledore pronounced happily. "Respect it and give it its due. I will leave you now." He squeezed each man's shoulder, smiling broadly, his eyes twinkling. "The warming charm I cast will last until dawn. See you in school on Monday, Severus." Dumbledore Disapparated on the spot. Fawkes flew over them for a few minutes more until his song died and he flew off into the distance.

The men knelt facing each other, still grasping each other's arm. Snape spread his fingers wide over the embedded circlet, awestruck, as Lupin pulled him to himself with both arms and kissed him, gently at first and increasing in passion.

"It's done, Severus," Lupin breathed into Snape's mouth. "None can part us now."

Snape's heart was full and he found he just couldn't speak. Bonded, just as he had wished. He had never had a wish realised before. He responded to Lupin's kiss, his hands now in Lupin's hair and slowly and carefully leant Lupin back onto the stone, until he covered Lupin's chest with his own as he kissed him passionately and possessively, then unbuttoning each button with delicacy until he could push the two sides of the waistcoat apart and run his fingers over Lupin's chest and stroke his nipples as Lupin sighed and Snape could feel the energy of the mountain's magic energise his fingers as they slipped down to the waistband of Lupin's trousers as hot and heavy desire pooled in his groin. They were bonded now, and he wanted this first time as bonded lovers to be exquisite for Lupin.

Lupin hummed his contentment to let Snape take control as Snape slowly undid the cord and slipped the trousers down Lupin's legs to his boots, taking those off too so he had all of Lupin's skin under his hand and took his time to caress gently all of Lupin's neck, chest and stomach, his hips and his thighs with his hands and lips until Lupin was moaning Snape's name softly and stretching gently under Snape's touches, touches that were enervated by the static charges of magic.

Snape leant over Lupin to kiss him deeply and toed off his own boots, as Lupin ran his hands over Snape, and gently removed his waistcoat and trousers until Snape was naked over him and laid himself on top of him so their skins would touch and pressing their erections together as they kissed, Snape running his hands through Lupin's hair as Lupin caressed Snape's back and shoulders, setting Snape's skin on fire.

They ground their hips together rhythmically, Snape's head now full of hot, muzzy desire as he listened to Lupin's soft moans and felt his flesh beneath his own, the gathering, incipient magic feathering across their skin now, heightening their senses as Snape ran his hands down Lupin's side, making his back arch as Snape moved his legs apart gently with his own. He leant on one elbow as his fingers stroked Lupin's perineum lightly, travelling back to his opening and just tracing around until Lupin moaned louder, pushing his hips forward to receive Snape's fingers as he sighed his name. Snape worked his fingers expertly to make Lupin groan as he stroked against his sweet spot over and over until Lupin began to writhe and beg for Snape to fill him up, making Snape's hot passion throb ever harder.

It was all Snape could do to hold on to his own passion. As gentle as he wanted to be, the accumulating magic and passion was generating such desire in him that he yearned to take Lupin forcefully but Snape was determined, this first time as his husband, would be gentle and loving. He stroked and stroked as Lupin's breathing became more and more ragged and his body glistened as Snape pushed him further and further on his fingers alone, and Lupin gasped for air as he begged harder for Snape for fill him, to love him, to fuck him please.

Snape's breath hitched. Lupin had never used that word to him, had never asked for that, and his self-control snapped as Lupin wrapped his legs high around Snape's waist and Snape knelt pulling Lupin's hips up with him as he thrust into Lupin in one thrust, finding him hot, wet and very ready and Lupin cried out hoarsely in delayed pleasure and thrust back hard, making Snape in his turn groan loudly. He could not contain himself, no matter how hard he tried now as Lupin writhed and bucked against him, his arms stretched above his head and calling to Snape. Snape pitched in to Lupin feverishly murmuring Lupin's name like a mantra, and with every desperate thrust, Lupin cried his name and the magic of the mountain magnified every feeling on every nerve ending and they thrust at each other in mounting delirium and Snape took hold of Lupin's cock to pump him in time with their own thrusts, now faster and harder than before until they could not withhold their release any longer, and both came fiercely, each other's name on their lips, and Snape lowered Lupin gently as they both struggled for breath and eased himself down to lie next to him. As their breathing eased, they kissed gently again and lay in each other's arms.

"Husband," Snape murmured into Lupin's neck, still not quite believing it to be true, and Lupin held Snape tighter still.
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You Will Not Kiss Me