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The Long Road	By : SinisterMe Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Snape/Remus Views: 63598 -:- Recommendations : 3 -:- Currently Reading : 18
Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction using characters from the Harry Potter world, which is trademarked by J. K. Rowling. This story is purely for entertainment purposes, no money is being made from it.

Chapter List
- 39
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After lying in the dark for a while without hearing Snape’s breathing even out, Remus asked him, “Where did you come across that cane, anyway?”
He just had to know. Severus hadn’t seemed all that riled by his discovery of it, which meant, to Remus at least, that it wasn’t something the Potions Master relied on himself. But if he didn’t use it, what was it doing in his possession at all, never mind sitting out in easy reach?
“I purchased the cane in town a short while ago,” he said, fluffing his pillow. It was the simplest answer.
“You bought it?” Remus inquired. An item with Charms like that layered into it would cost a pretty penny. He’d never even heard of an object Charmed to work like this one seemed to and he could only imagine the price tag.
“Yes, I didn’t trust myself to construct one that would be adequate. I Charmed it myself, however; that I wouldn’t trust to anyone else.”
“Does your knee bother you very much?” Lupin asked. He’d noticed Snape favored one side, and with the story of how his knee had been injured while his ‘comrades’ tested his loyalty, he could only assume that the joint was problematic.
“No,” Snape said swiftly, though it wasn’t completely true. “The cane was never for me. I remember your concerns about mobility and it was the swiftest way I could think to get you moving about with the level of healing you needed to undergo.”
“It was for me?” Remus yelped. That was a possibility that hadn’t even occurred to him.
“It is for you, and it was supposed to be a surprise,” Snape said dryly.
“Severus! How... Why-?” Remus exclaimed.
He knew what was involved in Charming an object so completely and so permanently, and it certainly seemed like a lot of time and energy expended to help a person’s slave hobble about. It wasn’t like he had any work to get back to, or anything. Most of his skills were impractical for one without the use of their magic, and the ones that weren’t didn’t require him to walk about, more like lie on his back.
“Why? Because it was in my power, and because it was a relatively simple thing to accomplish. The gains far outweigh any effort that was put in. As well, I knew that you would like it.” He added that last part begrudgingly.
“How?” Snape continued. “That is a slightly longer story. Back in our third year, Tobias broke one of my mother’s ankles so badly that even after she was ‘healed’, she could barely get around the main floor of the house without help. When I went back to school, Lily helped me research and develop the Charms that we then applied to a cane that looked almost just like the one that is sitting beside you now.”
Remus was almost speechless. Lily had helped to develop this? He felt an ache in his heart at the remembered loss of her.
“So you made an item like this one to help your mother? I’m sure she was glad to have such a thoughtful son.” He knew he would feel that way if Teddy had done all of that, hell, he got misty eyed if his boy colored a picture for him.
“Yes well, she never had the opportunity to know of its existence, as she died mere days before I could bring it to her. All these years I thought it was time wasted for both Lily and I, and now you will have the chance to benefit from it. I know without a doubt that Lily would have loved that.” A few seconds passed. “I find that it lightens my heart as well,” he added. Perhaps he had drank one serving too many, to be saying things like that aloud.
If Remus’ heart wasn’t fluttering before, it was now. Surely from a man like Severus this counted as sweet talk?
Remus slid closer to him. “Severus, I can’t tell you what that means to me. Just the fact that you would think of doing something like that…” He hesitantly put his hand on Snape’s arm.
“I meant it when I said that I would take care of both you and your son, and that means doing more than just making sure you’re fed, watered and sheltered. You’re not a house plant, Remus; people need more than that in order to actually live.”
Remus couldn’t help but think that that was an odd comparison to make. Despite that he pushed himself forward and laid a kiss on Severus’ lips, his fingers closing more tightly around his bicep.
Severus allowed the kiss, participated even, but when Remus pulled back he said, “Again, I’ll tell you that I do not wish for you to use your body as a tool to express gratitude or regret. You have already thanked me, that is more than sufficient.”
“It was just a kiss, Severus…” Remus said.
His proximity to the other man was intoxicating, the masculine scent of him, the feel of his skin under the palm of his hand, that voice rolling through his ears saying things that made his head reel. The more worthwhile Severus’ words and actions built him up to be, the more he actually felt that way, for a moment at least. This close to the moon that could be a dangerous thing, as his arousal tended to run more rampant when it thought that it could get away with it. He felt his cock stirring regardless of the fact that the two of them were barely touching.
“…and I don’t think it was entirely for you,” he finished a moment after.
He leaned in and repeated the motion again with a little more force, his hand left its place on Snape’s arm, traveling up his bicep to his shoulder and stopping so that his fingers just curled around it. He found it interesting that the dark haired man yielded so easily to him, those dry lips moved against his with a restrained enthusiasm and when Remus applied the slightest bit of pressure to the hand on his shoulder, Severus allowed himself to be pushed onto his back. Remus went with him as he turned, never really breaking the kiss off completely until his torso rested on Snape’s; a fraction of a second later he felt a strong arm make its way around his lower back and hold him there.
For some reason this emboldened him even more, something a large part of him thought he definitely didn’t need at that exact point in time. Remus thoroughly ignored it, tongue invading Severus’ mouth, hips pushing his erection into the other man’s leg just to show him it was there and that it was for him. It was an act of bravery for him, and he tried not to second guess himself too badly, but despite that, his heart was hammering in his ribcage.
Severus tightened his arm around Remus’ back, not allowing him to withdraw the his body away from his own. That advancement had been a very bold one for Lupin, almost as if he was making his own needs known, making them a priority; he hoped he wasn’t reading too much into the action. Either way, he wondered if he had the will to refuse even as Remus’ mouth retreated from his own, only to make its way down his jaw and further on to his neck. When that mouth came down onto his jugular, all suckling pressure and teasing tongue, he knew he was done for.
He rolled Lupin so that his body was more completely covering his own, not minding this more dominant personality coming out of the other man one bit. His hand slid lower, briefly cupping Remus’ bottom as it made its way to sit on his upper thigh. He felt the other man shudder and thrust his hips jerkily into his own, a small growl was emitted near the vicinity of his ear.
Remus knew he was letting things get out of hand when he heard that animalistic sound come out of himself. The moon was so close that he could almost taste it, and when the moon was near, so was the wolf. He tried to get a hold on himself and failed spectacularly. His fingers twined through Snape’s hair as he came in for another searing kiss, pulling back to look into the dark pools of his eyes, surprised at the expression he found there.
“Remus, your eyes,” Severus said in wonder.
The light of the nearly full moon was coming through a crack in the curtain, and in that moment he saw an amber glint that wasn’t completely human shining in Lupin’s eyes. The sight sent a shiver down his spine that he was startled to find was exhilaration instead of fear or disgust.
Remus knew immediately that he needed to get control of himself as soon as the words slipped from Snape’s lips. He drew his hand up, obscuring most of his face from the other man, knowing what he was seeing and that it wasn’t entirely human. That he’d let go of himself so quickly was disturbing to him, he’d no desire for Severus to see the monster in him until after he himself was lost to it, even this glimmer of it was unacceptable.
“Severus, I…” he tried to explain but words failed him. Snape reached out and pulled his hand away almost as soon as it had settled over his face.
“Look at me,” he ordered.
There was no question in Remus’ mind that this was the first actual command Severus had given him, he did what he was told, opening his eyes and training his gaze on his master.
Snape observed Remus’ face, the odd shape his pupils and irises had taken, the worried look settled across his brow. The very tips of his fingers reached out to caress his cheekbone as if he could read the answers there in braille.
“They’re beautiful,” was all he said, pulling Remus in for another kiss that was somehow more tender than all of the others before it.
Taking those unbelievable words as an invitation to continue, Remus swallowed his doubt and ran his hand down Severus’ chest and stomach, brushing it against his erection, surprised to find it still there after his careless display. He stroked it again with more surety, creating pressure as complete as possible over the area with the sleepwear in his way.
Snape took this as a sign that too many articles of clothing were still present in the equation. He decided to start with Remus’, hooking his thumbs on either side of his waistband and slowly pulling it down, just enough so that Remus would notice that that was what he was doing.
Remus just lifted his hips to make the process faster.
Snape never wasted an opportunity, pulling the garment off as completely as he was able and then helping Lupin shift out of the remainder of it. He found himself more than glad that the other man had the physical ability for even these things he was doing; his level of recovery was more apparent than ever. His muscle mass was starting to return, though he’d yet to regain his weight to the point it should be; Severus decided to take advantage of that before it was gone. First, he’d have his fun making sure Remus’ body was ready for the next steps.
He took the pillow from underneath his head and tossed it closer to the foot of the bed.
“I imagine you’re more tired than you’re letting on; perhaps we should speed things along?” he proposed.
Remus, who’d been trying to pretend that he wasn’t mashing himself into Snape’s thigh, thought that he couldn’t have said it better himself. Saying even that would have taken too much time, however, so he just slid his body from under the blankets and down to where the pillow had landed, glad that he was learning what Severus preferred more quickly than he’d picked up on it for Walden.
It didn’t hurt that the things Snape wanted were also the same things that he wanted, the same things that made him desire to take a more active role. The only problem was that his confidence tended to fail him as quickly as it arrived. He paused, sitting with his legs bent at the hips and knees at the foot of the bed, looking back up to Severus for instruction wordlessly.
Severus sat up on his elbows, pulling the covers off of himself. Remus certainly hadn’t been exaggerating when he’d said that his body wanted different things as the moon came nearer. He found himself wanting to oblige Remus as much as possible, whatever that ended up meaning. Right now he was getting the distinct impression that would mean joining him at the edge of the bed, and so he pulled himself up on the mattress and drew his feet from their place under the blankets.
Sliding across the comforter, one of the other pillows dragged along with him, he came to a stop just behind where Remus was waiting for him, close enough that he could lean forward and press his lips into the other man’s shoulder. It wasn’t a kiss so much as it was a show of companionship, of assurance; he kept the contact for a few seconds before withdrawing.
The next move took him over the side of the bed and onto the soles of his feet. He placed the pillow on the floor at the foot the bed and knelt before a sitting Remus, who looked instantly unsettled by the action.
“I know it isn’t the most personal, but if you support your upper body on the bed and bend at the hips you won’t have to expend as much energy as in other positions and I would have an excellent angle to ready your body,” he said. He’d placed his hand on Remus’ thigh while he was speaking, moving it to and fro absently, feeling the roughness of his sparse covering of hair against his palm.
Lupin looked at him in a nearly indulgent fashion.
“Is that your way of saying you’d like to bend me over the bed, Severus?”
“It might be,” Snape replied elusively, fighting not to smirk.
Somehow that produced a smile from Remus, who carefully, with assistance from Snape, climbed off of the bed and leaned himself over its soft corner. He quickly arranged himself so that he wouldn’t be uncomfortable when he was being pressed into the mattress. At Severus’ prompting he lifted up one knee and then the other while a pillow was slid underneath the joints to ease any strain the position would potentially incur.
Severus sat on his own pillow; everything was almost as it needed to be. He Summoned the bottle of lubricant from across the room, catching it deftly and setting it on the ground beside where he was seated. His next objective was to make Remus’ body slightly more accessible to himself.
He squeezed his fingers between the other man’s thigh and the bed, pulling his body back so that he would be able to pleasure him while he was preparing him. In all honesty, that part of the series of events ranked among his favourite, it always had and was even more so now. It was a way of having power of one’s partner that was mutually beneficial, a way in which no one was lessened or trampled over.
“What’s wrong?” Remus asked, though he followed the nonverbal instruction without hesitation.
Snape rose up on his knees and went as close to Remus as he could from his position on the floor.
“Nothing, now that I’ll be able to touch you,” he said simply, retreating again to his pillow, from which the vantage point was brilliant, the long expanse of Remus’ arse and back were on complete display for him. He ran his hands lightly from Lupin’s shoulder blades, down the bevel of his lower back and over the swell of his bottom; gorgeous.
Presuming that by now Lupin’s erection would have faltered a bit, he quickly spread some of the lubricant on his hands and reached around his body to stroke his shaft, delighting to find him still completely hard. Not wanting to back off now that he’d started, he continued his teasing motions, finding pleasure in the heavy weight in his hands as well as in how Remus struggled to find somewhere to place his own hands, which seemed to be searching for purchase wherever they could.
When he felt the lycanthrope begin to buck his hips slightly in time with the caresses, he backed off of his rhythm a little, one hand abandoning the other man’s cock altogether in favor of exploring other areas of his body.
Probing carefully, he found that Remus’ opened to him with little hesitation, one finger quickly finding that it wasn’t offering either of them enough friction. A second finger followed shortly after, twisting and nudging deeper and deeper until he saw Remus go briefly rigid. Then he knew that he’d found the internal pleasure center of the other man’s body, even as he witnessed Lupin fist the blankets above his head tightly as if any moment sensation might just buck him from the bed unbidden.
Probably before it was quite time, Severus began working a third finger into Remus, who let out a guttural groan as Snape’s digits spread him open even further, filled him entirely.
Severus took this opportunity to grasp Lupin’s erection in his hand, hands still tacky yet slick from the emollient applied earlier, and pump it quickly several times, watching raptly as muscles in his partner’s bottom jerked and twitched as his body was coaxed down the winding path of pleasure. He watched carefully until Remus was just about there, taking him even a little farther before easing off, retracting both of his hands carefully from the other man’s body.
“Severus?” Remus voice was heard, coarse and raspy.
“I’m going to move you,” Snape said as if that was an answer. For all he knew it was, as Remus hadn‘t given him much of a question to work with.
“You’re going to move me?” Remus rephrased what Snape had just said only adding an inquisitive inflection to what had previously been a statement. “Where?”
Snape couldn’t help but feel relief at the phrasing of a question he was finally able to answer accurately.
“If you’re not against it, I’d like to move you with me to the large chair,” he replied.
“By the fire?” Remus asked, not sure whether to be alarmed or not.
“Yes, by the fire,” Severus confirmed. “I want to be able to see you, Remus,” he informed the sandy haired man in case that much hadn’t been apparent.
Remus nodded his agreement to the idea, though he didn’t know what they could achieve over there that they couldn’t over here on the bed. Severus seemed to know what he was doing, though. His prick was aching and there was a need building inside of him that he wanted to meet before it overtook him completely and he actually threw his head back and howled for the full moon he’d never see.
Severus stood creakily and removed his own sleepwear, revealing his hardness to the dim room for the first time that night. He promptly cast the Charm that would allow him to move Remus while only feeling a fraction of his weight. He carried him over to the wide armchair that he’d been sitting in earlier while they were talking, taking seat in such a way that Lupin was settled on his lap. He helped move him so that they were facing one another, positioning them so that Remus knees were straddling his thighs.
Summoning the lubricant a second time, he slicked himself with hurried strokes and leaned Remus’ body back onto his needy length. His hands supported the lycanthrope, holding him up so that he would be able to control the depth and speed of their joining without requiring Lupin to do much work; in spite of his enthusiasm, he knew the other man was quite worn out already.
Hands stroked his chest timidly, one moment holding the juncture of his neck and shoulder and the next minute ghosting across his nipple to rest on his waist. He lifted Remus up a little more and then brought him down while at the same time he lifted his hips up to meet him, sliding into him on one slow motion.
An uninhibited gasp came out of Lupin; the fingers of the hands that were softly exploring Severus’ chest dug their ends into him sharply. It was something Snape could easily say he didn’t mind. He lifted the smaller man up again and again, settling into a slow, even series of motions that allowed him to observe the less subtle than usual reactions from his bonded.
It became evident that something was going to have to be done with Remus’ cock, which stood to attention still, swaying with every upward thrust of his hips. Remus seemed unsure of where to put his hands anyway, so Severus said, “I want you to touch yourself; both of my hands are busy and I can’t do it for you.”
Remus blinked at him in such disbelief that Snape had to rethink the words he’d just said to make sure they’d come out correctly. He looked pointedly at the lubricant he’d placed on the table by the chair, watching as Lupin’s gaze followed his own, all the while he was buried deep inside of him, rotating his hips so that he could keep the level of friction up, moaning as he did so.
Remus took up the emollient and put some of it into the palm of his hand, setting it aside again. He then took his hand and brought it to his swollen cock, grasping it at the base and stroking it steadily from bottom to top in hastened strokes. He made a sound deep in his throat, that amber light seeming to glow again from his eyes.
Severus saw it the instant it happened, having to mentally stay himself from coming right then and there. He made his thrusts more even, angling his hips differently and taking in the splendid sight that was Remus’ body. The sheen of sweat that was gathering across his form was noticeable, even more so were the panting groans that were emitted from his lips every time their bodies were brought together.
There was no doubt in Severus’ mind that he was hitting that elusive bundle of nerves in his partner’s body when Remus jerked upright with a cry, fisting himself more speedily and erratically than before. He was glad to feel the other man spasm in orgasm, watching as the great wave of it overtook him. Remus’ head fell back with the most unrestrained sound he’d heard from the man yet, his seed spilling from him even as he continued to massage himself.
This was a relief for Severus because at this point he felt that he could also let himself go. Almost as soon as he stopped focusing on it he was coming inside of Remus, pulling him as near as he could and grinding himself into his willing body.
When it was clear that they were both spent, he extracted himself with care from Remus, spelling them both clean without thinking much of it. He helped him move so that he was lying across his lap instead of straddling it; in a moment he would gather the strength of will needed to maneuver them back to the bed.
Looking into Remus’ eyes now, he saw the gentle man he’d known on one level or another for years; all echoes of the wild eyes he’d been presented with twice tonight were gone. Lupin looked at him with large eyes that were unquestionably human but an expression that was certainly vulnerable. Snape assumed that it was because he knew just how he’d appeared tonight and was waiting to hear his response after the heat of the moment had passed.
He could say a thousand things to try and assure the werewolf, that much was true. Instead, he opted to lean his head on the other man’s shoulder, making no other movement except to lace his fingers together with his arms looped around Lupin’s middle in a loose embrace. Remus settled into his arms so quickly that he almost felt like the other man had initialized the motion.
Severus could only stay that way for so long before he needed to Charm the other man lighter and carry him the short distance back to bed, getting both of them back on the mattress. He would have liked to lay in the nude with Lupin and feel the smooth length of his body against his own, but thought it would be prudent to at least have slacks on in case Teddy came for a nightly visit. So he retrieved a clean pair for both of them, getting into his own before giving Lupin his and helping him into them and covering him with the blankets.
He climbed back into bed, sliding through the sheets to Remus’ side, pressing the tops of his feet against the other man’s soles, the front of his knees against the backs of his. Lupin’s arse was curved into the bend of his body, the lycanthrope’s naked back completely up against Snape’s bare chest. Severus snared the smaller man in his arms, kissed the blade of his shoulder, nudged his nose against his neck.
Remus lied on his side and felt his body slowly encompassed by Severus’. The taller man wound around him and held him snugly in his arms, sighing in what he assumed was satisfaction. After his release, he felt closer to sleep than ever, and Snape curling up next to him like that wasn’t exactly helping matters. He shifted himself deeper under the blankets, not minding at all that doing so happened to move his body closer to his master’s.
Snape had caught a glimpse of the monster that would appear on the night of the full moon, he knew it had shown in his eyes at the very least. Severus had yet to say anything about it and didn’t seem inclined to start, but Remus kept his guard up all the same as that was likely wishful thinking on his part.
Severus kissed Remus’ shoulder again. “I hope that sated you as much as it did me,” he said.
“It did; I feel much more myself. The urge to be physical is so strong this close to the moon that I have a hard time ignoring it now that my body remembers it is capable of such things. Thank you,” he said more quietly than anything else, feeling the need to say it but yet somehow not really wanting Severus to hear.
“For what?” Severus asked.
“For allowing me to …achieve that completion; and for not humiliating me over it.”
“We all have needs, Remus; there is nothing at all shameful about yours.”
“You’re too kind, sir.”
“Now there is one thing I can say I’ve never been accused of before, not with any sincerity, anyway,” Severus teased. “I knew there had to be something.”
Remus smiled, a huff of laughter escaping him. His eyes drifted shut, thinking that maybe Severus really had meant what he’d said about the possibility of some peace for both of them, as he certainly felt more than a little bit of it already. He put his hand over Severus’ where it rested on his abdomen. His breathing was already starting to even out; if Snape didn’t move soon, he was going to fall asleep almost at once. Not like that would be a bad thing, his body really needed rest, but he wanted to stay awake and revel in this closeness as long as he was able.
Severus, though feeling satisfied and relaxed, was not tired in the least. All the same, he decided to attempt to get some rest, staying twined with Remus long after he’d noticed him falling asleep.
Eventually, he needed to change position. Severus carefully extracted his arm from under Lupin’s neck and rolled onto his back, stretching his legs out straight on the mattress. He noted that he and Remus were still touching, but didn’t bother to move away. Also, for some unfathomable reason, he liked being close to the lycanthrope.
He lay there for a long time, what felt like two hours or more to his internal clock. Finally he was starting to doze off, he could feel his thoughts dispersing, making less sense, becoming more random. His eyes were even closing. When finally he was asleep, he found that he wasn’t able to stay there for very long.
The sound of the door being pushed open with a squeak caused his eyes to snap open. He wondered if he’d actually been asleep or only on his way there as he cleared the cobwebs from his mind. He turned towards the doorway, seeing Teddy standing in the light that was streaming into the bedroom, seemingly afraid to step further into the room. This time the child was holding his pillow, dragon and nightlight all squished against himself.
He sat up on his elbows so the boy would know he was already awake and he didn’t need to be concerned about any reflexive reactions.
“Sir?” Teddy’s voice was heard more quietly than usual.
“Hello Teddy,” he said in way of answer.
Teddy came up to the edge of the bed in a rush. Severus couldn’t help but notice that the boy was still in the same sleepwear as when he’d tucked him in; also the silver tracks of tears that were still falling down his cheeks.
“Did you have an accident?” Severus asked, though the signs he was seeing pointed to something else.
Teddy shook his head. “No, sir,” he sniffled, “I’m sorry, sir.”
“For what, is everything okay?” he asked, sitting up further in bed.
Teddy shrugged and buried his face in his pillow, his shoulders shaking.
“Hey,” Severus crooned, leaning towards the child, “what’s that matter?” He held one hand out to indicate that Teddy should come nearer.
“I don’t know, sir,” Teddy exclaimed, making the few short steps until his body was touching the side of the bed.
Severus assumed the boy did know and didn’t want to say, or else had no idea how to talk about it, which seemed to him the likeliest possibility to him. He was clearly very distressed about it, whatever was bothering him.
“There isn’t anything wrong with that,” Severus said. He made slow movements and reached out to raise the child onto the side of the bed so that he could be more comfortable and so that his bare feet weren’t on the cold floor.
“Do you think you had a bad dream?” he probed gently.
“Yes sir, I think so. When I woke up I was very sad and even more afraid. I don’t know why I came to get you up, there isn’t anything you can do about it. I’m sorry I bothered you.”
Severus saw that the night light jar was about to slip from the boy’s fingers at any second, so he took it out of his hands and set it on the nightstand, dimming its light as he did so.
“I’m glad you came to wake me up,” he assured the boy. “Also, sometimes people don’t have to do anything to assist with feelings like that, a lot of the time just being in another person’s company can help. Sometimes talking about it can help too.” Or so he’d been told – he was no expert on that, but he would give it a try.
Teddy scooted a little closer to Snape.
“Really? You’d want to hear about it?” Teddy asked, wiping his eyes as fresh tears fell.
“I would,” Severus told him, “but only what you wish to tell me.”
“What if I don’t want to tell you anything?” Teddy asked petulantly.
Snape exhaled a laugh at Teddy’s cheekiness. “Then that is perfectly alright as well.”
Teddy nodded and slid closer to him so that he was almost sitting against the headboard the same as Snape was.
“Lift up your legs,” Snape told him.
Teddy did ask he was told, drawing his knees up to his chest.
Severus pulled the covers out from under him and indicated he should stretch out. When the boy’s legs were straight, he covered them up with the blanket, pulling it up as high as it would go.
“Thanks,” Teddy said, shivering one more time to rid himself of the chill.
“You’re welcome,” he replied.
“Are you sure you want to hear what my dream was about?” Teddy asked, not looking up at him as he did.
“I’m very sure,” he reassured.
Teddy waited a moment before beginning.
“Well it’s kind of hard to explain,” Teddy started. “I was in the box in the basement. …Well not at first I wasn’t. I don’t know where I was at first, sir, but someone was there with me – her hair was pink! Can you believe that? She was so beautiful, and at first it was happy, but something happened and it was horrible, and I can’t remember what it is at all, but it made me feel very lonely.”
Teddy held his dragon more tightly.
Severus set is arm lightly around the boy’s shoulder, already floored by what he’d heard. He didn’t interrupt though, wanting Teddy to tell everything in his own words. Though he knew now that he was really going to have to get Remus to speak with his son about Nymphadora.
“Then I was gone from there and in the box in the basement. I can hear Master punishing daddy     upstairs and I’m so scared. I want him to stop, but at the same time I don’t because I know that he’s coming for me next. It takes so long and finally it’s quiet. He opens the lid and takes me out. I don’t even remember what we did wrong,” Teddy said, the last word coming out as a sob. “And he, and he…”
Here Teddy dissolved into the incoherency of tears. He pulled his knees up to his chest and put his head on them, his dragon crushed at his side.
Severus was momentarily at a loss. He got it together in a hurry, though, turning on what must have been instinct and collecting Teddy in his arms. He sat back, pulling the little one onto his lap, where he just sat, allowing the child to lean against him and cry. He did the best he could to comfort him, rubbing circles on his back and humming some tune to which he later wouldn’t be able to recall the melody of.
Teddy hugged his dragon and lay against Snape, crying until he couldn’t cry any more. Severus’ arms were tightly around him, all he did was cuddle further into the older man and rest his head on his shoulder before eventually growing quiet.
“I don’t like seeing you so upset, Teddy. Are you sure you want to tell me the rest of your dream?”
Severus was second guessing trying to coax Teddy to talk about what had happened to him. What Teddy was describing to him sounded more like memories than fabricated dreams. He didn’t want to make the poor boy too distraught.
“I want to tell you, sir, but I don’t want you to know how bad I am. I may not remember what I did wrong, but when you hear what Master thought was fair, you’ll know how awful I am even without knowing what I did!”
Severus tightened his arms around the boy.
“I don’t need to know what you did to anger him, or what he did to you after, to know that it was nowhere near fair, you didn’t deserve any of it, and no matter what he told you, it was not your fault. I’ve witnessed firsthand the kind of person you are, Teddy, and no story you or anyone else could tell me would be able to have enough impact to change my mind about that.”
Teddy sniffled, looking down at his dragon.
“Well,” Teddy said, taking the hand that wasn’t holding his dragon and putting it on one of Snape’s arms as if to hold it in place, “he used his wand, mostly. He cast the Pain Spell, I think he liked that one because I was always so loud that dad would hear. I knew he didn’t hold it long, but he did it so many times, I thought I was going to die. I couldn’t help it, I peed myself sometime while he was casting it.”
Severus bit his tongue, listening intently to the words that Teddy was saying. What the boy was describing was Walden using the Cruciatus on him, he could tell that much without even needing to confirm it with him. He cleared his mind, trying to keep the rage he was feeling subdued. He would have to deal with that later, privately; the last thing he wanted was to let some of it show to Teddy, right now he was vulnerable, he was trusting. Snape wouldn’t allow a slip of his self-control to damage that.
“He made me take all my clothes off, since they were dirty anyway. He was mad about the clothes and the mess, so he beat me and burned by back with the tip of his wand. He was so mad he threw me back in the box and told me I wasn’t coming out until after the Change. He pulled the curtain over the window and it was so dark in there. I don’t know how long I was in the box sir, I just don’t know…”
Severus’ heart was beating quickly in his chest. He would just have to Summon a large demon from hell and get it to pay extra attention to Macnair until his own soul got there to take over for the rest of eternity. Or else, he could hire a Necromancer to raise Macnair from the dead so that he could bloody well kill him again, slowly and using all of his skill, and then Summon the demon.
Teddy was crying quietly again. This time the child was already in his arms. Severus held him more tightly yet, his hands supporting the boy’s back and neck. The child’s small arms were around his neck as well, the dragon set to the side. Teddy only sobbed a few times before he got himself back under control. Severus hoped that anything he was doing was helping even in the slightest.
The boy settled back down to the way he’d been before the embrace, sideways in Severus’ lap, Snape pulled the covers back up to ward off the cold. The Potion’s Master kept him wrapped in his arms, wanting to comfort him but also knowing there was another part of the conversation they had yet to have, and that if he put it off he might not get a straight answer.
“Teddy, here is where I need you to be honest with me. I know it may be difficult and your first reaction may be to deny it no matter what the truth is. But I need you to know that I won’t judge you, or be angry with you, or stop caring about you; no matter what your answer is, okay?” Severus asked seriously, looking down at the boy.
“Okay, sir,” Teddy nodded hesitantly.
“Did Macnair ever… touch you, or look at you in ways that made you feel …funny, or bad? Did he ever make you touch him? Please, be truthful with me Teddy,” he pleaded.
Sure, he could look into the boy’s mind and find what he needed, but memories like these tended to attach themselves to everything while at the same time burrowing into the far corners of the mind. He wouldn’t want to disturb how the boy was coping with everything. It was too risky; brushing the surface was one thing, but going that deep into the mind of one so young spelled disaster more often than it didn’t.
Teddy seemed reluctant to answer. “Not really, sir. He looked whenever he got the chance, but he never touched me more than he had to.” Teddy gulped. “He talked about it though, the things he would do to me when I was older. I didn’t understand it all, but I knew enough to be scared of it.”
“Thank you for telling me that, Teddy, I’m sure it isn’t easy to talk about.” Severus hoped the boy was telling the truth, he allowed himself to be thankful that Walden hadn’t marred the innocence of this child in that particular way.
“You’re welcome sir,” Teddy said. “I guess we didn’t talk about it yet, but are you going to want me to do those things for you when I’m older?”
“No, never,” Severus said immediately. “Your body will always be your own, as far as I am concerned. You are only to share it with someone you wish to share it with, one day, when you are much, much, much older.” He felt like he couldn’t stress the ‘much’ enough. He wondered what filth Walden had filled this child’s mind with and prayed that those things were easily left behind and forgotten as Teddy grew.
“That’s good sir, thank you,” Teddy said, leaning his head against Snape’s chest and yawning.
“You appear to be much calmer,” Severus observed.
“I am, sir. I’ll go back to my bed now,” Teddy said, his voice sounding flat.
“You can sleep with your father and me, if you like. The sun isn’t too far from rising as it is.”
“I could stay here?” Teddy perked up.
“Tonight you can, yes,” Severus allowed.
“Oh, thank you sir!” Teddy said, throwing his arms around Snape’s neck again.
“You’re more than welcome, Teddy. Here, let me help you get comfortable.”
Severus took the pillow Teddy had brought with him and placed it in between him and Remus. He then helped Teddy get positioned on the mattress, covering him to the chin with blankets before sliding down in the bed himself.
“Sir, can I ask you a question?” Teddy asked.
“You may, yes,” Severus said.
“Where did you get these?” he inquired, taking the tip of his small finger and touching a set of scars on Snape’s chest that looked like a set of four parentheses sitting on each other in order of descending size.
Snape hesitated for a moment. Certainly, Teddy had experienced violence, but would it be right to continue exposing him to it, even verbally? On the other hand, the boy had discussed some very hard things with him tonight and perhaps it would be right to share something with him as well. He couldn’t help but be amazed that Teddy had been able to see the marks in this light, another testament to his improved senses.
“These?” he restated, touching the scars himself.
Teddy nodded. “They look interesting,” he said and then quickly winced, “though they must have hurt a lot.”
Severus nodded, “Yes they did. I received these many years ago when I was just a little bit younger then you are now.”
“Really, what happened?” Teddy asked, surprised to actually get some kind of an answer.
“I was rushing through the house when I shouldn’t have been and I tripped over the edge of the carpet. Instead of just falling to the ground, I blindly reached out for something to stop my fall and found my father’s arm. The unfortunate thing was that he was holding a glass of hot tea, which I therefore spilled on his lap.”
Teddy made a face. “How does that give you a scar?” he asked.
“It gives me a scar because he was very drunk, and that cup of tea was his first attempt to sober up all day. He took me into the kitchen and turned on the burner, which was still hot from boiling his water, lifted my shirt up and then lifted me up before setting me down on the hot element and holding me there. I must have passed out, because when I woke up I was locked in the bench under the window, the same one I found you in today.”
Teddy squeezed his arm. “Your daddy did that to you?” he asked.
“Yes he did.”
“And he locked you in that little space? Just like me in the box, only I could stand up in there.”
“Yes, I see the similarities,” Severus agreed. “It was wrong for my father to do that to me, the same way it was wrong of Macnair to do what he did to you and your father.”
“I’m sorry that happened to you,” Teddy told him sincerely.
“Thank you, Teddy; I’m sorry those things happened to you as well. I hope you know that you can come to me, as well as your father, if you wish to talk about any of it. Sometimes, just getting it out can be a relief.”
“I do feel better now,” Teddy said. “Thanks for listening, sir.”
“You’re always welcome to that, Teddy. Do you think you could sleep now?”
“Yeah,” Teddy said, yawning again.
“Good, I think that is what we should do then. And Teddy?”
“Yes, sir?”
“I want you to know that if and when you are comfortable with it, that you may call me by my first name.”
“You want me to call you ‘Severus’?” Teddy asked.
“If that is something you would like to do, then yes. If you would like to still call me ‘sir’, I’m fine with that as well. When I was a Professor that was what my students called me most of the time. However, it is apparent to me already that you and I will be much closer than I ever was with any of my pupils, so we may as well at least have the option to do away with the formalities. Unless you want me calling you ‘Mr. Lupin’, that is.”
Teddy giggled to himself. “Okay.”
“Here is your dragon,” Severus said, tucking the stuffed toy in at the child’s side. “If you need anything else don’t be afraid to wake me up.”
“Alright, sir.”
“Goodnight, Teddy,” Severus said, “sweet dreams.”
“Goodnight, Severus; you too,” Teddy replied, snuggling up to his sleeping father and closing his eyes.
Severus looked up at the dark ceiling for a while, hoping that he had done well by Teddy, but not having a real basis to go from to know if he had succeed or not. It was understandable that Teddy had had a difficult night. After breaking the jar and running for what he thought was his life, never mind the bruise on his father’s face to stir memories up.
If the deep breathing beside him was any indication, however, both Lupins were slumbering contentedly right now. He closed his eyes and waited to follow them.
Morning came all too soon. Severus opened his eyes to see Remus looking over at him with an indulgent look on his face. He then looked down to see Teddy, still sleeping, snuggled up at his side with his arm around the boy.
Remus raised both eyebrows as if to say ‘not so tough now, are you?’
Snape rolled his eyes and let his head fall back to the pillow.
“He had a bad dream last night and was pretty shook up about it too. I didn’t want to send him back to his room to fight through it alone, not when he came looking for help.” Maybe he was still half asleep yet, how was that supposed to improve his reputation? He might as well have added that he was accepting stray kittens to house and feed for no charge.
“Thank you, Severus,” Remus said, wishing that he could lean in and kiss the man. He’d woken briefly during the events Snape was talking about, but hadn’t heard much as he had not been able to keep his eyes from closing. He felt guilty for not being there for his son, but at the same time glad that it had given Teddy and Severus another chance to strengthen their relationship.
Severus grumbled off his thanks.
“He’s not been sleeping the best lately, maybe we should leave him be?” Snape asked.
“I don’t know how much we’ll be getting out of him today anyway, he tends to be rather worn out a day or so before the moon,” Remus said. It was what he remembered from before and what he’d gathered from the scraps of information Walden had dropped about his son. He was both nervous and relieved that they would be spending the moon together this time.
“That isn’t uncommon. Some people find that they have a build-up of energy and some feel that they are lacking it. We will deal with it as it comes, Remus.”
Severus carefully extradited himself from the bed and the boy, getting up and dressed before helping Remus do the same.
Just as they were leaving the room, movement in the bed caught Snape’s attention. He paused with him and Lupin partway out the door.
Teddy’s head was seen poking out of the blankets.
“Sir? Dad?” he asked to the room.
Severus went closer to the bed. “Good morning Teddy,” he said.
“’Morning, sir,” the boy responded.
“Your father and I are just heading downstairs. Would you like to come or are you going to sleep in?”
“Sleep in?” the boy repeated as if the notion puzzled him. He yawned and rubbed at his eyes, stretching under the blankets. “No, I’ll come, sir.”
“Alright, sit up and orient yourself, I’ll be right back.”
Severus left the room, went quickly into Teddy’s and came back with a robe for the boy to wear.
“Here, slip this on. You can get dressed after breakfast.”
“Okay,” Teddy agreed, sliding both of his arms into the robe, standing and doing up the tie in the front. “We’re still going to finish that potion today, right?”
“If you feel up to it, yes. We can decide after breakfast. If you’re feeling too tired, I can sneak down and have it done in a hurry.”
“I’d like to help if I could, sir. If only just to prove to myself that I can do it without messing up again.”
“I know that you can do it, Teddy. I’ve already watched to complete steps and understand concepts that are far above your age range. I have no doubts that you will be a very competent brewer one day, but don’t let a simple mistake get you down; it will be far from the last one you’ll be making, if the track record of my apprenticeship is any indication.”
Teddy smiled. “As long as you still want me to help.”
“I definitely do,” Severus said. “But not on an empty stomach. Let’s go get some breakfast before we do anything too drastic.”
“Okay, sir,” Teddy agreed, heading out the door and ahead of them, saying good morning and flashing a brilliant grin to his father as he passed him.
They found a lavish breakfast already set out at the table; Fred’s way of apology for the day before, Severus presumed. Despite that fact, Teddy ate very little, picking at some of the lighter food that Snape had heaped on his plate but overall not consuming more than a few bites. Remus, on the other hand ate two large platefuls, washing it all back with a tall glass of orange juice and two cups of coffee.
Despite inquiries from both Snape and Remus, Teddy insisted that he was fine, only a little tired. All the same, he didn’t seem completely himself throughout the meal. After they were done, he still insisted in going down to the lab and helping Severus finish the brew they had started the day before.
Snape decided to allow it, sending the boy to get dressed and hoping that moving about a little and using his mind would help get Teddy out of his funk. He was just taking the boy and Remus downstairs just as Fred appeared to clean up the dishes and put the food away. The elf tutted and shook his head at the sight of all the food remaining on the boy’s plate, but otherwise didn’t say anything about it.
He got their station all set up again, lighting the fire and bringing out all of the necessary tools.
Teddy made an obvious attempt to help, at the beginning especially. However, the longer they continued, the more distracted the child appeared, fidgeting, sighing and leaning his elbows on the work bench.
Remus was appearing more and more agitated, probably assuming that this would be the thing that would get under his skin, Teddy’s lack of focus. Severus just continued on as he had been doing, more than used to giving instruction without having his pupil(s) listen to a word he was saying. So far, Teddy had been a very attentive student, specifically for a person of his age. It was the day of the full moon and he was sure there was more than brewing on the child’s mind.
He completed the next few steps, all of which involved the use of knives to chop, dice and slice the next sets of ingredients. He allowed the boy to measure some of the powdered ingredients, but didn’t want to try and make him do much else. If he was tired and his mind wasn’t totally present, a mistake would likely be made and he didn’t want the boy to experience the stress of failure two days in a row.
He convinced Teddy to sit down once the brew was complete, bottling it and cleaning their work area himself. When he was done, he returned to the table and chairs he had left the Lupins at. Remus’ hands were laced on his lap, his brow knit in worry. Teddy sat leaned over the tabletop with his arms crossed on it; his head rested on them, his eyes were closed. The boy let out another sigh that sounded even more discontent than the others.
“Teddy, are you sure you’re alright?” Severus pressed again. “You can tell me if something is the matter, I’m not only going to be there for you under the cover of darkness, you know.”
Teddy groaned. “I guess I don’t feel very good, sir,” he admitted, before leaning over and vomiting what little he’d eaten for breakfast onto the uneven floor of the laboratory.
Severus didn’t wait for anyone to overreact this time, even as he heard Remus’ surprised exclamation. He stepped between Teddy and the stairs, wand out and then tucked away again in the blink of an eye as he banished the mess from the floor.
“Oh child,” he said sadly, lifting Teddy into his arms. He put the underside of his wrist to Teddy’s forehead, frowning as he withdrew it. The child still in his arms, he went quickly into the storage closet and returned, the tinkling of vials heard from inside his robe pocket.
Severus went to the stairs immediately, levitating Remus’ chair and wasting no time in going up to the kitchen. He continued until he was upstairs, going straight for Teddy’s room.
“What are we doing, sir?” Teddy asked, his head heavy on Snape’s shoulder.
“We’re going to lay you down,” Severus told him calmly, “and you’re going to try and have a nap.”
“I don’t know if I’ll be able to sleep with my tummy feeling like this,” Teddy told him.
“I have a stomach settling potion for you to take; this one won’t taste as bad as most of the others, it is a little minty.”
“Okay,” Teddy agreed.
Snape fished the vial out of his pocket and gave it to the boy.
“Drink the whole thing this time,” he advised.
Teddy did as he was told, handing the vial back and laying his head down again.
“Good,” Severus encouraged, placing the empty vial back in his pocket. He set the child on the edge of the bed and helped him back into clothing that would be more comfortable to lie down in. He then turned back the covers and allowed him to climb in before covering him, but only with the thin sheet. All of the other covers he pulled down to the foot of the bed and out of easy reach of the child.
“Stay with him,” he said to an obviously concerned Remus, levitating him to the bedside.
He went from the room, collecting a small basin and filling it with cool water. He tossed a cloth into it and charmed the whole thing to stay cool. He then went back to the room, finding Remus leaning over in his chair holding his son’s hand.
“He’s warm, Severus,” the lycanthrope pointed out.
“I know, here,” Snape said, placing the basin on the nightstand, “cool his face and neck with this. I’d prefer not to give him a fever reducing potion if I can help it. He’ll be taking enough potions in the next couple of days and that one specifically can be hard on one so young, all other things considered.”
Remus nodded, reaching into the basin and wringing out the cloth.
Severus quietly paced the floor. He knew that in the occasional individual, especially the very young, that this wasn’t uncommon. Since Remus had been kept apart from his son during the time of the moon for so long, it was impossible to say if this was normal for him or not. Exhaustion, slight fever and nausea could be completely normal for teddy to experience this close to the arrival of the moon. Or it could, possibly, but unlikely (but still, possibly) be an effect of the modified Wolfsbane he had given the boy. He didn’t even want to entertain the notion, but to not consider it would be unadulterated foolishness.
He assured Remus that everything would be fine and set a ward to alert him if Lupin called for him. He left the room and made a beeline for the basement.
Once there, he went into the transformation room and went over the supplies he had in there one final time, with the most insane of complications in his mind this time. He bustled about his lab, collecting things that he would likely not need, but wanting to have them on hand just in case. One or two items he even scoffed at his own paranoia for selecting. If he had miscalculated that badly he would burn his Mastery certificate the next morning out of shame.
He went over the wards one last time, checking everything in the room that he could think of for efficiency and function. When he was satisfied that everything was in place, he collected some blankets from an upstairs closet and brought them down as well, for the period before the transformation as well as for after it.
On his way back up the stairs he ran into Fred, with who he went over the night’s procedure again. There were a couple of things that the elf was going to help him get ready still, though he’d been given quite the look for even asking if Fred had remembered it all.
Upstairs he found Remus sill sitting by the bedside, the cloth laid across his son’s forehead.
“He’s asleep,” Remus said.
Severus set his hand on the man’s shoulder, it was as close to comfort as he could get presently.
“I’ll set a ward to let us know if anything changes, we should give him time to rest,” he told Lupin.
Remus nodded, seemingly content to be shown what to do.
Snape levitated him across the hall and set him up by the fireplace in his rooms, sitting next to him.
They sat in silence for a while.
“Thank you for knowing what to do,” Remus said.
Severus snorted. “This isn’t my first vomiting child,” he said, “part of the glory and prestige that comes with being Head of House I suppose.”
Remus chuckled. “No, I’m serious. I guess I’m just realizing how helpless I am. Even given the freedom to be there for Teddy, I don’t know what to do.”
“You know more than you think you do,” Severus said. “And you love him. If you do that as his father, I think the rest will eventually fall into place. You’re doing all you can, Remus.”
Remus nodded. They sat like that, Severus Summoning their books to read, until just after lunch.
Severus took them downstairs and got a meal prepared for them. He made extra for Remus, who ate everything and a serving of sliced fruit after.
He couldn’t help but feel that Teddy was going to be in rough shape, having thrown up everything he’d eaten for the day. The boy would not likely be ready to eat another solid meal today, even with the settling potion.
He set about slicing up a large amount of fruit, sure that Remus was looking at the back of his head like he was nuts as he peeled and cut piece after piece. With a fancy bit of wand work and a little bit of dairy, he had managed to produce a thick smoothie that the child would be able to eat easily and would hopefully not upset his stomach. To this he added a few drops of a nutrition supplementing potion to keep the child’s strength up. When he was done he put a preserving charm on it and placed it in the cold box for when Teddy woke up.
Remus and he spent another few hours of peaceful time-killing together before the wards alerted him that Teddy was awake.
He collected the smoothie and took Remus upstairs.
Teddy was groggy, but managed some simple conversation and ate the entire smoothie he’d been brought. He was still a little warm but seemed to be improving, though his energy levels were still clearly depleted and it didn’t take him long to fall back into slumber.
Remus didn’t seem inclined to make any sign he wanted to leave, so Snape sat in the chair by the desk and waited. After a while, Lupin looked over to him and he knew that it was time to go. He took them down to the living room for a change of scenery.
Lupin was losing steam as well, so he moved him over to the couch and helped him to lie down. Remus closed his eyes, but Snape didn’t think he was sleeping at first. Eventually there was no doubt that Lupin was dead to the world, what with the small snores escaping his lips.
Snape took this time to rest himself, to collect his bearings. He had to prepare himself for this evening, so that he was physically, mentally and emotionally capable of dealing with any surprise that might rear its head.
Eventually, he couldn’t sit still any longer and went upstairs to his rooms. From the back of his closet he collected his dragon hide gear, brought down from its dusty box in the attic by Fred some days ago. This he took down to the transformation room, checking each piece for weak points and oiling them quickly so that he would have the mobility he would need.
He was about to sit down when the alarm on his wand went off. He hurried up to Teddy’s room to find the child sitting up in bed rubbing his eyes. After a small conversation he took him down and sat with him and his father on the sofa, Remus stretched out on one side of him, Teddy leaning up against his other. If he had taken the moment to ponder this situation closely or with any depth, he would have startled both lycanthropes with his mad laughter.
Fred came and collected them for a late supper at some point; buttered buns and a hearty vegetable soup. Teddy ate very little, but appeared able to keep it down. Again, Remus ate two bowls and twice as many buns. They sat together in the living room again after, neither Lupin having much energy for anything else. To pass the time and quell his nerves about what may potentially come, Severus read another couple of chapters from the Hobbit to Teddy.
Eventually, it began to get dark. They sat together for a while longer before the sun was about to set completely.
“We should go downstairs, the moon will be rising soon and you should take your potion,” Severus said reluctantly.
“I was thinking the same thing,” Remus said.
Teddy was silent.
Severus stood, carrying the boy with him as he went. He levitated Remus’ chair with him and walked slowly through the house, the basement and their first moon together awaited them down the stairs. Severus felt uneasy anticipation well up inside of him, though he was sure that it was nothing compared to what Remus or Teddy were experiencing.
He would appear calm and in control. He would be steady and he would be the rock he needed to be, that they needed him to be. They would survive this night, intact and at any cost.
.
A/N: An Update! And it didn’t take an entire month either! Hope you enjoyed it. The full moon is finally here. Thanks again to everyone who has been following this fic, I never even imagined that it would get this far or this long. I appreciate your continued interest more than you know, your comments and kind words give me the courage to keep writing. Thank you so much!

(I really tried to have this done for the 22nd, but didn't make it due to the renovations I'm doing lol)
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The Long Road