Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

Jaded	By : Lilyyuri Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Remus Views: 18219 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: The Harry Potter universe and characters are the sole property of J.K. Rowling. I make absolutely no profit out of writing any of these stories.

Chapter List
- 1-Jaded
- 2-2
- 3-3
- 4-4
- 5-5
- 6-6
- 7-7
- 8-8
- 9-9
- 10-10
- 11-11
- 12-12
- 13-13
- 14-14
- 15-15
- 16-16
- 17-17
- 18-18
- 19-19
- 20-20
- 21-21
- 22-22
- 23-23
- 24-24
- 25-25
- 26-26
- 27-27
- 28-28
- 29-29
- 30-30
- 31-31
- 32-32
- 33-33
- 34-34
- 35-35
- 36-36
- 37-37
- 38-38
- 39-39
- 40-40
- 41-41
- 42-42
- 43-43
- 40
- 41
- 42
JADED

For Summery, warnings, spoilers and disclaimers see chapter one.

A/N: Right, so this was suppose to be the chapter before last, but you know the drill, too long, had to break in two parts� Hope you still have the strength and will to bare with me till the end.

Thank you so much, my trusty beta- dragon, who�s still with me even after all the stuff I put her through, I can�t thank you enough.

..oo00oo..

Chapter Forty-one: You're not seen, you're not heard, but I stand by my word
(Title from �Reasons for waiting� by Jethro Tull, album �Stand up�)

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Harry looked around him doing his best to control his erratic breath and the rapid beating of his heart. How he hated graveyards. Nothing good ever happened to him in a graveyard. To him graveyards only symbolized Voldemort and the pain and loss he�d inflicted upon Harry�s life since near birth. He looked at the two headstones, on the names carved upon it and sighed. In his mind James and Lily would always be teenagers, friends he could laugh and play pranks with, friends he could confide in and tell his troubles to, laughing, crying and very much alive. They were not meant to be names and dates etched in stone. It just felt wrong.

Remus stepped forward, seeing Harry�s distress and placed his hand on the small of the younger man�s back, rubbing slow circles to calm Harry down. Harry smiled slightly, drawing strength from his lover, Remus knew this would not be easy on Harry, and tried to put his own feelings aside. In a way it was easier for him because he had already come to terms with Lily and James� murders. He knew them a lot longer than Harry had and had plenty of time to mourn and grief over his fallen friends. Harry on the other hand, had just met them back in the past, not even a year in total and his memories of them would probably be fresher, livelier.

�I feel like I should say something, tell them what�s going on and how the war ended�� Harry said softly, feeling like his voice was far too loud for the silent place,

�Then you should.�

�Would it be any good?� Harry and Remus both jumped at the sound of the cheery voice, turning around slowly to see James Potter, pearly white and floating a couple of inches above the ground, �I�m a busy ghost you know.� He said with an important air, looking down his nose at them. Remus grinned, once you�ve been a marauder, not even death will be able to make you stop.

�Hello Prongs.� He said with a chuckle,

�Hello Moonbeam.� James said pleasantly and turned to fix Harry with a haughty glare, �And Hello to you too.� Harry smiled broadly,

�Hey dad.� James rolled his eyes,

�Don�t you �Hey dad� me!� He scoffed and waved a spiritual finger at his son, �You don�t call, you never come to visit, don�t you love us anymore?� He complained loudly.

�Oh, leave them be, James.� Harry looked startled to see Lily floating towards them, her pearly hair flowing behind her, �You�ll have to excuse him, he�s been spending a lot of his time at the Jewish section lately.�

�Hello mum.� Harry whispered in awe. Lily raised an unimpressed eyebrow,

�You look familiar, like someone I used to know, but you can�t possibly be him, because he would visit,/i>!�

�I�m sorry!� Harry cried, feeling his face flush, this was not fair, he didn�t avoid the place on purpose, he had other things to do thank you very much and the last thing he expected when he set out to visit his parents� graves was for them to show up in ghost form and give him grief. �I couldn�t come before now! There was a war going on!�

�Oh, we know all about the war,� Lily waved a dismissing hand, �Who do you think gave Dumbledore the information he was seeking?�

�So, you were the �anonymous source� that fed Dumbledore information on where to find the Horcruxes?� Harry asked, amazed, and both Lily and James beamed at him,

�Sure was!� James cried happily, �Turns out Voldemort�s favourite gathering spot was cemeteries, and ghosts can travel to wherever life is buried, so we told Dumbledore everything Snivellus couldn�t.� Harry saw the roll of Lily�s eyes over the name �Snivellus� but decided not to reprimand his father for it, lest it turned into a fight between the four of them.

�Well, you know what they say,� Remus offered cheerfully, trying to elevate the mood after James� blunt tongue-slip, �Once an Order member��

�Always a Dumbledore lackey!� James finished triumphantly and the four snickered,

�So, how are you two doing?� Lily asked briskly, and both Harry and Remus smiled widely, �Hmm, I see things have turned out for the best since you came back.�

�Came back from where?� James asked curiously and Lily bit her lip and took a deep breath. Harry and Remus had to look the other way to maintain any sort of dignity,

�For the love of Merlin James, I�ve told you this a hundred times!� She snapped at her husband, who didn�t look baffled at the least. All of which made Harry suspect this was not the first argument his parents had on the issue. It was still funny though, to see that he could rile Lily up now as much as he did back then. Death must have been really boring for James� �Harry is Jaime, he fell through a time-alcove and ended up in our last year!�

�Oh, I thought you just made it up to keep me amused.� James turned a blinding smile at Lily�s glare. She shook her head and turned to Harry and Remus,

�Ignore him,� She advised, �So, tell me everything, I bet Remus put on quite a fight before you two got together again.� Before Harry had a chance to confirm his mother�s words, James jumped,

�What do you mean together? Wait a minute!� His entire form swelled with righteous rage. From behind his back Harry could see Lily shrugging in despair, it was amazing how short James� span of attention was when he didn�t feel like getting things. Remus lifted his hands and smiled nervously,

�Look Prongs, I can explain�� He pleaded, trying to pacify his ghostly friend. James crossed his hands over his chest,

�You better!� He barked and floated away from the rest, obviously expecting Remus to follow. Remus shot a quick glance at Lily who gave a wink and a smile before he turned to follow his friend, his heart plummeting free-fall style past his stomach to re-locate near his feet.

�Hmm, well, when I said I could explain� I didn�t� I mean, I can�t really explain, it all happened really fast, but in my defence I can only say that I didn�t know that Harry was Jaime when he was back in our time, you know I�d never go after your son�� Remus babbled, desperately trying to make a point he wasn�t even sure what it was. �And� and after he came back, I couldn�t really tell you anything because you were dead.� He finished lamely and looked down at his hands. James sighed, it used to be a lot more fun to vex Remus in the past�

�That�s fine.� Remus snapped his head in astonishment and when he saw the smile on James� face he narrowed his eyes in a glare. Stupid Prongs, getting him all worked up for nothing! �there�s something I need to talk to you about, it�s Sirius.�

�But you just said you were fine with it!� Remus protested, and James frowned,

�I am. You know all too well that if you hurt one hair of my boy�s head both Lils and I would haunt you to the grave.�

�Then what�s so serious?�

�Sirius.� Remus took a deep breath, this conversation wasn�t going too well. Maybe death messed up with James� mind, he thought, not that James� mind wasn�t pretty messed up before death.

�I don�t understand.� He said at last, accepting defeat in the battle to understand his friend. James looked ready to tear his hair out in frustration,

�Sirius, Sirius Black, Padfoot!� Remus� brow cleared and he let out a little chuckle,

�Oh, what about Pads, he�s dead.�

�No he isn�t.�

�Yes, he is.� James bit his lip and held himself back, trying to get a firm hold on the conversation again, after all he didn�t have all the time in the world for Remus to stop playing thick-as-mud with him,

�No, he isn�t.� He repeated sombrely, but before he could utter another word Remus jumped in,

�What do you mean he isn�t dead. I saw him, we both did, Harry and me, he fell� Bellatrix Lestrange, she�� James nodded in sympathy,

�Fired the killing curse at him. But you see, the curse hit Pads only after he went behind the veil, and then it changed.� Remus blinked in confusion,

�Changed, changed how?�

�Instead of killing Sirius the curse turned into some form of life sharing bond between the two.� James explained. Remus� frown deepened, not quite understanding where James was going with that, �Sirius has been living off Bellatrix�s life force. didn�t you ever wondered why she was so frail and weak when you found her?�

�I� It was Tonks� and Draco�s job� I don�t know.� Remus mumbled, completely overrun with possibilities, if Sirius wasn�t dead�

�Anyway, now that Bellatrix is dead, Sirius is losing power and quite quickly.� James concluded, and Remus� head snapped up,

�Oh, gods, we can�t let him die again!� He cried, and James gave him a condescending nod which Remus chose to ignore, �What can we do?�

�You are going to have to call him out.�

�Call him out?� Remus asked in disbelief, �You want me to stand next to the veil and just call Sirius to me?� James nodded again. �Will it work?� He asked suspiciously, hoping that James was just pulling his leg and that he�d share the real plan soon enough.

�Yes, it will. Sirius is lost, he needs someone to guide him back.� He explained, �Now, there are two very important things to remember.� He said and Remus nodded absently, trying to figure out how he was going to execute the plan of calling Sirius back. He�d have to gain access to the Department of Mysteries for one thing, �Moony, focus!� James snapped his fingers under Remus� nose and the latter jumped back in surprise, �The first thing is you mustn�t, not under any circumstances let the ectoplasm touch you!�

�What�s ectoplasm?�

�It�s the stuff Sirius is going to be covered with when he comes out from behind the veil. I suggest you get two port-keys and send him straight to the Hogwarts infirmary, we�ll notify Madame Pomfrey. She�ll know what to do next.� Remus nodded, this actually started to sound more and more like a proper plan and not some joke on James� part.

�I should probably contact Arthur, so he can arrange for entrance to the Department of Mysteries, and so that he can create the port-keys.� He said to himself, and James nodded again,

�Yeah, you do that. Tell him we say hi.� Remus gave him half a smile in return, this was hardly the time to tell James of what Molly�s reaction to his and Harry�s relationship was. The last thing he needed was an enraged ghost haunting down the Weasley�s. Not when there was Sirius to think of.

�Okay. What was the other thing?� He asked absently,

�Don�t tell Harry.� Remus blinked at James in suspicion, and the ghost sighed, �He�s been through enough, and I�d hate to raise his hopes in case it doesn�t work. If we can�t bring Pads back then I�d rather Harry continue thinking he was dead all along.� James said soberly and Remus sighed. Yes, this was probably something that Harry shouldn�t be burdened with, not after all he�s been through. This was a job for the Marauders to finish. Saving one of their own, Harry would only reap the benefits should they succeed, and won�t have to endure the agony should they fail.

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Harry watched his dad�s stiff retreating back and bit his lip with uncertainty,

�Will Remus be alright?� He asked, wondering what he could do if Remus wasn�t. Striking at his father once had lasted him a life time of guilt after all. Not that he thought he could strike a ghost anyway.

�Oh, he�ll be fine. James just likes to flex his muscles every now and then.� Lily assured him as she indicated the nearest bench with her head. Harry tossed one last glance over at his father and lover before following her. He perched himself on the bench after casting a light warming charm while Lily floated above it, assuming a sitting posture but not actually touching the wood. Harry smiled somewhat shyly at his mother while Lily beamed at him with pride, �You look happy, Izzy.� Harry winced a little at the name, gods how he hoped that it had died with his mother, but alas, no.

�I am happy.� He said with a soft smile, which made Lily�s own grow wider. Harry looked just like Jaime had when he�d finally snagged Remus as his own. No, in fact, he looked happier, more complete. The war was over, he was back in his own time and there were no more obstacles to his love.

�Good. I�m glad that you are. I was starting to worry about you.� Harry�s smile slipped from his face, and he stiffened a little,

�Why, you thought I�d die in the Final Battle?� His tone was annoyed, even though he tried not to show it, it wouldn�t have mattered if the entire Wizarding World said he�d win, if his own mother didn�t believe in it.

�Pfft, no!� Lily said dismissively, and Harry felt his anger melting, �I knew you�d win against the old snake. I was more worried about you and Remus.� Harry shrugged,

�We�re fine.� He said somewhat distantly, it was really nice to talk to Lily again, but that still didn�t mean he wanted to talk to her about himself and Remus. Some things should be kept private from people, especially mothers. He tossed a quick glance at Remus again, seeing that he and James were deep in conversation and didn�t look like he was about to have his head bitten off by a snappy ghost and relaxed a little. Lily watched his every move, noting the way his eyes kept looking up at Remus to make sure the werewolf was doing alright. It was really heart-warming, albeit somewhat too sweet for her taste.

�Yes, I can see that. But were you always this cozy?� Harry returned his gaze to Lily,

�I suppose��

�Izzy!� Lily snapped, and Harry pursed his lips in childish stubbornness, �Stop playing dumb! I may be dead but I�m still your mother!�

�What do you want me to say?� He cried, running his hand in his unruly hair in frustration, �That when I came back Remus didn�t want anything to do with me? That he said that he could never love me because I was too young and your son? Or maybe you�d like to know that following that I had a breakdown and thought my life was over, and even considered giving myself to the Dark Lord at some point?� Harry�s breathing was hard, his face flushed. In a way it felt good to get all of this out, deal with things once and for all,

�Do you want me tell you how I owe every last bit of happiness in my life to none other than Severus Snape of all people because if he hadn�t persuaded Remus to give me a chance I�d probably be on Prozac or even dead? That it was only Snape�s damned razor-sharp tongue that made Remus come to my dorm room and wank me off while I told him how I fantasized about him spanking me?� Harry�s mouth snapped shot, as soon as he realized what his last words had been, of crap� Double, triple, quadruple crap if the shine in Lily�s eyes was any indication,

�My, my, Izzy�� Lily drawled, which made Harry�s cheeks burn even brighter, �Never knew you had it in you�� Harry buried his face in his hands, wishing the ground would swallow him up on the spot, �You little minx.� Lily added happily and Harry groaned,

�Oh, good gods I can�t believe I just said that��

�Come on, don�t be shy, tell me more�� Harry�s wide eyes turned to face his mother, his own mother! He couldn�t decide whether Lily was serious or she was having him on, but either way, this conversation had been more humiliating than anything else he could remember at the moment.

�This conversation is over!� He declared with all the dignity he could dig up. Standing up from the bench and hoping that his knees won�t give way under him. Lily straightened up as well and reached a hand towards him,

�No, no, no, wait�� She cried, her face full of remorse, though Harry could still the mischievous glint in her eye, �I�ll be good, I promise.� She added meekly, and Harry rolled his eyes, not buying her act for a second but still reluctant to leave her side. He slowly sat back down, keeping his eyes firmly on his mother, as Lily smiled encouragingly at him. �I want to hear all about the wedding plans.�

�What wedding plans?� Harry asked puzzled. Lily rolled her eyes in exasperation,

�Yours of course, with Remus.� She fixed Harry with a stern glare, �You are going to make it official aren�t you? I will not have my son living in sin.� She finished indignantly, with an air of self-importance that made Harry want to burst laughing.

�To late for that.� He mumbled to himself and Lily chuckled to herself,

�And to think I used to try and give you all those sex talks and advice about sex, saying I�d give them to you again in the future� Gods, you must think I was a complete dunderhead��
Harry could feel the lump forming in his throat,

�No, gods, mum, no never!� He blinked rapidly against the stinging in his eyes, because this was exactly how it felt back then, when he used to talk to Lily, knowing each conversation, no matter how embarrassing for him was something he�d cherish for life because he knew he would never get to hear it again. Lily, on the other hand, didn�t seem to notice her son�s discomfort, and if she did she chose to ignore it. Instead she rubbed her hands briskly, her eyes once again gleaming,

�Good, because I�ve had loads of time to work on my speeches! So which one would you like first- �How children come to the world� or �Safe sex for the gay man�?� Harry shook his head in desperation, there was no going around it was there?

�Neither!� He tried to muster as much dignity he could, although the corners of his mouth were twitching. Lily pouted,

�You�re no fun.� She complained and Harry couldn�t help the little chuckle that escaped him,

�Well, excuse me if I don�t feel all too comfortable about discussing sex with my dead mother!�

�Would you rather it be your dead father?� Lily asked in a serious tone, smiling inwardly as Harry�s eyes widened,

�Merlin, No!� He gasped, truly horrified at the prospect. If a conversation with Lily was bound to be humiliating, one with James would be one step down from performing a hara-kiri in the middle of the Great Hall, on the night of the opening feast.

�Then you�re stuck with me.� Lily said with a cheerful smile, and Harry just barely managed not to stick his tongue at her, �I�m thinking of an outdoor, summer wedding.� Lily added dreamily and Harry sighed, gods, talk about a one track mind�

�Lily,� He said slowly, trying to make it as clear as possible to the stubborn ghost, �We are not planning a wedding!�

�Why not?�

�For one thing, I�m not a girl!� Harry huffed, and Lily smiled again, this was probably more than she needed to know about her son�s sex life� It was funny how Harry automatically assumed he�d be playing the �girl� part, but at the same time it was more than slightly disturbing for Lily to realize that her son, was indeed, a bottom. �And for another, we�re�umm.� At that Lily�s jaw dropped in shock,

�Oh, sweet Merlin�s beard you already have!� She cried and Harry gaped at her, again baffled at her amazing ability to read between the lines. �You already have!� For a moment she was spluttering in shock, unable to find words to describe her feelings, �You� You!� She pointed a shaky finger at her son, �You got married without inviting us!� She placed her hand over her heart dramatically and flicked her hair back, pointing her chin up in resentment, �I�m shocked, appalled and very hurt, I�ll have you know!�

�We didn�t get married,� Harry tried to explain calmly, though the hurt look on Lily�s face was actually making him want to smirk at her. Serves her right for humiliating him before! �We got hand-fasted.�

�Same difference.� Lily waved her hand in dismissal. It was quite unfair that she won�t get to see her only son�s matrimony. Especially now that Harry knew that she and James were ghosts.

�We didn�t really invite people, it sort of�� Harry said, a little uneasy, �It was kind of spontaneous, it was actually Remus� gift for my birthday.� He said fondly, while tracing his finger over the shimmering band on his wrist.

�Hmm, tell me�� Lily leaned over and said dreamily. Harry snapped from his musing and coughed a little, reminding himself he could not let his guard down near Lily.

�No.� He said in a tone that meant he had no desire to continue the conversation. A tone which Lily cheerfully ignored.

�Oh, I see,� She said slyly, and Harry felt his cheeks flushing again, �Sex on the spot� Very nice, wish I had thought of it myself.�

�Lily!� Harry said firmly, determined to get at least something out of the conversation, something he�d be willing to think back upon and not cringe with horror that is, �Can I ask you something?�

�Is it sex related?�

�NO! Will you stop with the sex trip already!� Lily shrugged,

�You try being a ghost for four years, see what else you have to talk about then.� In a way, Harry could see the reasoning behind that, but he wasn�t going to dwell on it right now,

�Speaking of which, how come you guys are ghosts?� Lily gave him a broad smile, rubbing her hands together in glee, ready to launch into the new topic, for which Harry was immensely grateful.

�It all happened that night Voldemort was resurrected,� She began her tale, �That night you fought with him and called our spirits from his wand.� Harry nodded sadly, of course he remembered that night, it was one of the worst in his life. And even after all he�s been through, and all the people he�d lost, the night Cedric Diggory died still remained one of the most horrible memories in Harry�s life. �After you left and took the Diggory boy�s body with you, we stayed and held the monster back for as long as we could before we took the others and came here. The boy, I believe his name was Cedric- very handsome by the way, such a shame really, he wouldn�t stay behind.� Harry closed his eyes and refused to contemplate on his mother�s words because she did not just say she�d like to have a ghostly affair with Cedric! �Anyway, we sent Cedric to reunite with his body along with a message to Dumbledore that we decided to stay ghosts. The old man was very rude, he just left, didn�t even say goodbye.�

�But why? Why did you stay behind?� Harry demanded, not that he wasn�t pleased at the chance of talking to his mother again but remembering the ghosts in Hogwarts, it seemed rather strange to him that people would actually want to become ghosts for all eternity.

�It was for you, sweets, after we learned what happened that night we knew we had to do everything within our power to help you. We failed you once already.� Lily trailed sadly, it was still hard to talk about certain things, and that night was one of them. For a long moment both of them sat silent, each absorbed in his or hers own thoughts, when Remus and James came back from their little chat, both looking determined and somewhat grim.

�Everything alright?� James asked, catching his wife�s eye, and Lily gave him a sad smile.

�Yup, everything�s fine.� Remus cleared his throat and Harry looked up startled,

�Cailean, I think it�s time we head home. If we stay here any longer we will be turned into snow angels on someone�s grave.� He said briskly, rubbing his hands together. As a matter of fact, Remus wasn�t in the slight bit cold, not when there was so much to do and so little time for it. He felt his blood gushing in his veins, his body yearning for action. If only Severus could see him like that, he�d have a thing or two to say about Gryffindor impatience.

�Yeah, we should go. But I promise we�ll be back soon.� Harry said as he rose from the bench, feeling every muscle in his body stiff with cold, even with the warming charm on the bench.

�Oh, you better! Because if you don�t we know where you live!� James mock-threatened, before pausing, �You still live in Grimmauld Place, right?� Harry snickered and nodded. He wished he could hug his parents goodbye, but the memory of Nearly-Headless-Nick�s party and the way it felt to have a ghost pass through you made him stick his hands deep in the pockets of his winter cloak instead.

James and Lily watched as Harry and Remus made their way to the gate, waving and smiling at the retreating backs. They watched the way Remus wrapped his arm around Harry�s waist, bringing them close together.

�Did you tell him?� Lily asked, her eyes never leaving the couple retreating from her,

�Yes.�

�Any chance it�ll work?� James sighed,

�Gods, I hope so. Either way, we�ll get to see Sirius here soon.� Lily nodded, wrapping her arms around her for comfort,

�Yeah, let�s just hope it�ll be the coloured version.�

A/N: I know this is not up with cannon or anything, but before the sixth book came out my friend and I discussed it and she said that there is no actual proof that Sirius is really dead, as he just fell through (the bit about Bellatrix and the AK is from the movie, if my memory serves me right, which it may very well, not�), so this is for Beankin�. Besides, who doesn�t want to see Padfoot back??

There are so many jokes in the Jewish folklore about the overbearing and protective mother I just had to put something in. It just fitted in my mind.

Hara-kiri is a Japanese traditional suicide ritual, performed by Samurais who had fallen captive or where dishonoured. The ritual of Hara-kiri, or Sepuku is an honourable suicide through self disembowelment.

�The old man� Lily was referring to is Frank Bryce, who was killed by Voldemort on the beginning of �Goblet of Fire� (he�s the old muggle that used to live in the Riddle mansion).

Hmm, quite a little twist here� What will happen next? (Dun, dun, dun�)

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Jaded