Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

Victim of the Fall	By : PrettyDesdemona Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Draco/Hermione Views: 32726 -:- Recommendations : 5 -:- Currently Reading : 7
Disclaimer: I do not own the Harry Potter universe or any of its characters. I do not make any money off this story. Only love!

Chapter List
- 40
- 41
A/N So there is a song that goes along with this chapter. It's called Untitled 3 by Sigur Ros. I really encourage you to listen while you read. http://www.youtube.com/watch/?v=UeuvegBZFuM

CHAPTER 41

SICK OF ME

"How sick of me you must be by now, while you're standing just outside of what your pride will allow, always reaching into yourself to find a new way to understand me when I'm sure there's no one else in the world who could withstand me."

Eighteen years later.

Hermione drew her cloak a little tighter around her in the crisp, Autumn air that was biting at her skin. She leant down to adjust Hugo's scarf which was dragging behind him as he walked.

"You've got to stop pulling it off sweetheart! You'll catch a cold." she scalded.

"You can't catch a cold from the temperature mum, it's a virus." said Rose smugly. Hermione caught Ron rolling his eyes indulgently at his scholarly daughter.

"But mum! It's itchy!" whinged Hugo, tugging at the wool around his neck. "Grandma's scarves are always itchy!"

"Well, when we get back in the car, you can take it off." Hermione promised, plucking his hand away from the scarf and holding it firmly in her own.

The little group of four made their way towards the train, squinting through the thick vapour. It was time for Rose to head off to Hogwarts for her first year though her little brother had to wait another two years. Hermione felt somewhat empty at the idea of seeing her daughter leave. Rose had been by her side day and night for the past eleven years and the thought that someone other than Hermione would look after her was a little bit daunting. Someone else would cook for Rose, talk to Rose about her problems and take care of Rose's health. It made Hermione feel somewhat obsolete. Though of course she was happy for her daughter, excited about all the things Rose was about to experience. Hogwarts was an amazing place and Rose would have an amazing time. Her mother was envious.

Someone tapped Hermione on the shoulder and she wheeled around.

"Hi!" cried Isobel brightly and Hermione drew her into a hug.

"Where's Bo?" asked Ron, pecking the younger woman on the cheek.

Isobel rolled her eyes, grinning, "Work."

"Hello Nikki! Excited about your first year?" Hermione asked Isobel's daughter who stood, clutching her mother's hand and looking stressed.

"I'm going to be in Gryffindor, I just know it." said the little girl sullenly.

"Hey! Hermione's a Gryffindor!" Isobel laughed.

Nikki seemed only marginally cheered.

"I think I see Draco and Astoria." said Isobel, craning her head over the crowd.

"Tell them we'll come say hi in a minute. Just waiting for Harry and Ginny." Hermione responded, also looking over the crowd. The two women hugged again before Isobel and Nikki disappeared into the mist.

After a few minutes, Ron pointed over towards the gateway to platform nine and three quarters. "Here they come." he said as five people emerged from the wall.

The Potters made their way over to them, weaving through the crowd.

"Hi." said Albus, Harry and Ginny's eldest, to Rose who grinned.

"Parked alright then?" Ron asked Harry conversationally. "I did. Hermione didn't believe I could pass the muggle driving test, did you? She thought I'd have to Confund the examiner."

"No I didn't. I had complete faith in you." Hermione responded wryly.

The two men made off with the trunks to put them on the train. Hermione hugged Ginny hello as the kids began having an animated discussion about which houses they wished to be sorted into. Moments later, Harry and Ron reappeared, both slightly red in the face.

"If you're not in Gryffindor, we'll disinherit you. But no pressure." said Ron dryly.

Hermione batted his arm, "Ron! He doesn't mean it." she told Rose and Albus, who looked fearful.

She looked at him with raised eyebrows, expecting him to confirm what she'd just said and reassure their child, but Ron wasn't paying attention. His and Harry's expressions had turned dark.

"Look who it is." said Harry, his tone sinister.

Hermione turned to try and catch a glimpse at who they were looking at and saw Draco and Astoria a little way down the platform, talking with Isobel.

"So that's little Scorpius." said Ron quietly and Hermione was about to remind her husband that he'd met Draco's son at least a dozen times before but was cut off when he continued. "Make sure you beat him in every test, Rosie. Thank god you inherited your mother's smarts."

"Ron, for heaven's sake, don't try to turn them against each other before they've even started school!" Hermione reprimanded.

Ginny leant close to Hermione and whispered conspiratorially, "They're still sore about Draco getting the credit for apprehending that guy they were all after, it seems."

Hermione raised an eyebrow, "Only because Draco was the one who caught him. Too right he should get the credit."

The younger woman laughed, "It's all those unwritten Auror codes though, isn't it? Doesn't matter who actually did the deed, they think the whole team should be rewarded."

Hermione chuckled and said lowly, "I swear to god if I have to hear another word about the fucking Auror code, I'll hang myself."

Ginny shrugged and grinned, "We married them…"

"We can also divorce them." Hermione responded wryly and Ginny howled with laughter.

The conversation flowed on as the kids bickered good naturedly, but Hermione wasn't really paying attention. She wanted to take a moment to think about where she was, to remember the last time she'd been there. There was that feeling, like her life had come full circle. A part of her still couldn't believe that she was a mother, that she'd gotten married, that she owned a house. But really that was because she felt blessed, and every time opened her eyes and looked at her children, that feeling of being blessed was almost overwhelming. She really felt like both of them were like limbs, part of her. When she spoke to Rose, she had to remind herself some times that the remarkable little girl wasn't a friend, and hadn't been there for all Hermione had gone through. Because it felt like she had, it felt like Rose had always been there. Like her mother, Rose was shrewd and smart, though, scarily, she seemed to have also inherited her uncle George's cunning and sense of humour. It was a deathly combination.

Hugo on the other hand was quieter and more affectionate. Where Rose liked to stand on her own, Hugo wanted to lead the team. He was one of those people who made you think almost every time he opened his mouth. Hugo was an old soul.

But, Hermione wondered, what would she have thought of herself that age? How would she, at thirty nine, describe her eleven year old self? Nerdy, was the only word that sprang to mind. And bossy.

"Ron?" she asked suddenly, breaking her husband away from his conversation with the children. "What was I like when you first met me?"

Ron looked at her bemusedly and scrunched up his face. "Uh… a ball breaker."

Harry and Ginny roared with laughter while Hermione grinned and pushed him away from her playfully.

Ginny and Ron began to discuss the next Weasley dinner while Harry knelt down and spoke quietly to Albus. Hermione allowed her mind to wander again.

She took a deep breath, inhaling the familiar scent of the station. It wasn't particularly nice but it smelt like home. It smelt like the beginning of something big, she'd always thought that. Her memory drifted away then, taking her back to her teen years, to all those times when something big had begun with a journey on that train…

Her mind was snapped back to attention moments later however, when Rose thudded into her body, her arms wrapped around Hermione's waist.

"It's time to go, mum."

"I know sweetie. I'll miss you."

"Miss you too."

"Be safe," Hermione urged a tad manically, holding onto her daughter's shoulders, "Don't get into any trouble. Don't break the rules. And don't join the Slug Club, whatever you do. Don't let James pressure you and look out for Nikki, yeah?"

"Alright mum!" Rose laughed, turning deftly out of Hermione's grip but her mother was too quick for her. She caught onto her daughter and dropped to her knees, hugging Rose so tightly that the little girl was almost gasping.

"I love you baby." Hermione choked, her eyes stinging.

"Don't cry mum!" said Rose in false bravado but Hermione could see tears in her daughter's eyes too.

"I'll cry if I want to!" Hermione laughed shakily. "Please write to me, you will write won't you?"

"The train's about to leave, Hermione." said Ron, a tad abruptly. "Come here, kiddo."

Rose broke away from her mother and gave her father a quick hug.

And with that, the little girl was gone, disappearing through a carriage door and boarding the train. Hermione waved at her daughter through the window and the Hogwarts Express began to move. Soon, it was out of sight.

"Ready to go?" Ron asked, not looking at her.

Hermione shook her head. "I'll meet you out there, ok? I want to just… Absorb this for a minute." she said, flashing him a kind, watery smile.

Ron looked at the ground uncomfortably. "You don't want me to stay?"

"No, no, it's fine. You and Hugo go. I'll only be a second." she responded.

Ron pecked her quickly on the cheek and left, his son's hand firmly in his.

Hermione tried to wipe the tears from her face with the sleeve of her cloak but they just kept coming. It was like something huge and heavy was sitting on her chest. She moved to the side to lean heavily on a wall as the platform began to empty. Hermione caught sight of Astoria Malfoy who looked concerned, but Hermione waved and shook her head, rolling her eyes. Astoria waved back and called, "Dinner Saturday, yeah?"

Hermione grinned and nodded.

Soon, she was alone on the empty platform, her jacket pulled tightly around her body as she looked around. The tears finally abated and she took a shaky breath. She didn't necessarily know why she wanted to be there, but it felt nice and part of that was because she knew that once upon a time, she wouldn't have been able to do it. To be standing on platform nine and three quarters like that and not be flooded with memories so overwhelming they gave her a panic attack. Things had changed over the years; she wasn't the same as she used to be.

And so it was that Hermione stood there, feeling a little glow of pride flooding her heart. She still had panic attacks sometimes, when things were really bad, but they were few and far between. Either way, Hermione continued to see a mind healer and it continued to help her deal with herself. Especially since she'd become a mother. She'd learnt quickly then that when you were raising children, it didn't matter how much money you had or what schools they went to. What mattered was that you were mentally healthy. She couldn't bear to think of the damage she could inflict on her children if she'd never gotten a hold of herself…

"Hey." said a voice behind her, breaking Hermione out of her reverie.

She turned and smiled warmly, "Hi Draco." She was vaguely surprised to see him there, thinking he'd already left with his wife.

"How are you?" he asked conversationally.

"Oh… Good… Sad to see Rose go but, you know how it is." she said shakily.

Draco smiled knowingly, "I do indeed. Watching Scorpius getting on that train was… Almost unbearable."

Hermione nodded, eager to change the topic, fearing she might start crying again, "Did you see Harry and Ron on their way out?"

He rolled his eyes. "Yes and they both ignored me. They're like teenagers. You wouldn't think we've played quidditch every second weekend for the past ten years or anything…"

She laughed, "Tell me about it. Don't worry, they'll come round."

He grinned, "I hope so… I don't fancy facing Harry in training when he's like this…"

Hermione nodded understandingly but didn't respond. For some reason, even though they'd been friends for years, the silence that followed was awkward.

"Where's Astoria?" she asked, trying to keep her tone casual.

"She's gone home." he replied lightly.

"Oh." Hermione frowned in confusion. Astoria and Draco were usually inseparable, it seemed sort of odd and out of place that she would leave without him. "Is everything alright with you two?"

"Yes. We're getting a divorce actually." he said easily, as if they were discussing the weather.

Hermione gaped unattractively. "You're… You're what?"

"Getting a divorce." he repeated casually.

"Why?!" she spluttered.

He shrugged, "It's been happening for a while, we started talking about it last year…"

Hermione shifted uncomfortably but made no move to respond to this. She hoped, desperately, that the events of the previous year had nothing to do with the beginning of that particular conversation.

Draco continued, "Astoria's my best friend and I love her but, we're not really in love and there's no real reason for us to stay together anymore, so why drag it on, you know?"

"You sound so ok with this." Hermione said quietly, completely bemused.

"That's because I am ok with it, Hermione. So is she. This is what we want. Both of us." he pressed sincerely.

Hermione's mind was being completely useless. She had absolutely no idea what to say at all. "And what about Scorpius? Does he know?" she floundered.

Draco nodded, "Yeah, we had a long talk at the beginning of the summer. He was upset at first but then I think he got to see that we were still friends and nothing was really changing and he just… I don't know… got it. He's a smart kid."

"He is." she said quietly.

Her hands were strangely shaking as she thought about Draco's words. The tovarasi had extended to include the partners of its members a long time ago and Astoria had always been there. Maybe they hadn't entirely gotten along at first but now Hermione counted her among her very closest friends. She loved the witch and she loved Draco. So what was she supposed to say? How was she supposed to deal with it when suddenly these two people, who had once seemed to be the strongest of couples, decided they weren't in love anymore? Decided to get a divorce?

Really, Hermione couldn't even begin to comprehend why she was so effected by it. It was their relationship in the end, so why did she care?

"I wanted to give you something." Draco said after a few minutes of silence. Hermione looked at him blindly, her thoughts still reeling, as he pulled from his pocket, a folded piece of parchment.

"What is it?" she asked dumbly.

"Honesty." he responded and pushed it into her hand. Then, without another word, he turned and strode towards the barrier. Moments later he disappeared.

Hermione slowly unfolded the parchment and looked down at his familiar elegant scrawl. Her heart fell out of her chest and her body slid down the wall behind her as she read.

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in

my heart)i am never without it(anywhere

i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done

by only me is your doing,my darling)

i fear

no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want

no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)

and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant

and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows

(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud

and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows

higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)

and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

The letter crumpled in her fist.

Hermione's mouth ran dry. There was something in the back of her mind, something that had long laid dormant, that hadn't dares to raise its head in years. It was a flickering candle of hope. He carried her heart? After all this time?

But then, the candle was snuffed brutally out.

How dare he?! How dare he give her this?! After all those years, after all the fucking work she'd done with her mind healer over him. It had taken almost a decade for her to be able to even look at him without feeling sick! And he thought he could just do this and walk away? Like it was nothing? Like she didn't have to respond to it?

If he thought that, he was kidding himself. Of course she had to respond to it. And her response was anger. And what would her mind healer say to that? Anger is a secondary emotion. It comes from pain or embarrassment or fear. But fuck her mind healer. She was angry. Angry worked right then.

And fuck him for thinking he could divorce his wife! Just like that! Her and Ron had problems all the time, of course they did! That's the way relationships worked, didn't they? Sure, she hated him sometimes and they fought a lot and they hadn't had sex in almost a year, but they were still happy! In fact, Ron was always happy! Even if she wasn't, he was happy. She'd get the blame for bringing the mood down, for being sulky, for having feelings. Ron liked to keep things light…

But her and Ron pushed through, didn't they? Why couldn't Draco and Astoria do that? What made them so fucking special that they could just… just… end it?!

Hermione leapt up off the dirty concrete and began to pace the length of the platform.

Ending it wasn't an option. There was no choice. This was Draco just doing what he did best, wasn't it? Just him running like he always did, fleeing from his problems. Saying he wasn't in love with Astoria anymore was such a cop out, Hermione hadn't felt in love with Ron for years and she wasn't clamouring to sign any divorce papers…

She suddenly stopped in her tracks, her chest heaving as the jagged edges of the crumpled letter Draco had given her bit into the skin of her hand.

Had she really just thought that?

Slowly, blindly, Hermione pressed the letter into the pocket of her cloak and walked towards the barrier, her emotions folding away inside her body until they were tiny and her outer exterior was blank.

She emerged in King's Cross moments later and walked briskly back out to where she knew their care to be parked. Ron sat in the passenger's side while Hugo sat in the driver's seat, clearly having a fabulous time pretending to drive the car. At Hermione's alarmed look, Ron held up the car keys and jangled them, grinning.

Hermione approached the driver's side and opened the door. "Fancy some ice cream sweetheart?" she asked Hugo, her voice shaking slightly.

"Yeah!" this little boy exclaimed excitedly and leapt out of the seat. Hermione took Hugo's hand as Ron hopped out of the passenger's side.

"I know a nice place just down the street from here. And then perhaps afterwards, we could go to the park?" she offered, trying to sound happy.

"That sounds like a brilliant idea!" said Ron, beaming and together the little party of three crossed the busy road. "You alright?" he asked Hermione gruffly.

"Fine. I'm fine." she responded tightly, knowing that he wouldn't have been able to deal with any other response.

Once their ice cream had been attained and consumed, Hermione led her family to a little park a few blocks away where Hugo immediately charged off to play on the swing set.

"Stay where I can see you, Hugo!" she called after him.

Her and Ron found a bench and sat down. He grinned as he watched their son playing.

Almost without conscious thought, Hermione's hand sunk into her pocket and pulled out the crumpled letter. She handed it to Ron wordlessly, totally bemused and panicked by her own behaviour. This was one of those moments, one of those decisions that changed everything and she knew it.

"What's this?" asked Ron lightly as he took it.

Hermione did not respond.

There were a few moments of silence as he smoothed out the parchment and read.

After a while, he spoke, sounding confused, "It's beautiful, Hermione… But that's not your handwriting."

"No." she responded with a cracked sigh, "It's Draco's. He just gave it to me."

"Right." said Ron and pushed the parchment back into her hand roughly, as if it had burnt him. "Right…"

"He and Astoria are getting a divorce." Hermione could not look at him, could not bring herself to see the expression on his face.

"Right."

"He said it's mutual. It's what they both want."

"Right."

"He said they're not in love anymore."

"Right."

Hermione gritted her teeth, her hand massaging the space between her eyes. "Is that all you've got to say? Is that all the reply you're going to make?"

"What else do you want me to say Hermione? That I'm going to fucking kill him? That I'm going to fucking kill you?" his voice was low and she could hear the fury now. It scared her.

"Maybe you could say that we're not in love anymore Ron! That we're not happy!" she hissed, bordering on hysteria.

"I am fucking happy, Hermione!"

She threw her hands in the air in frustration. "Of course you are, Ron! Even when I'm not! You're so determined to be happy that you can't handle me anymore! What do you do when I cry Ron?! Huh? You turn your head as if I'm disgusting! You walk away!"

"That's not true, Hermione, and you fucking well know it!" he bit, his voice rising.

"Well what about the funeral?!"

"Oh don't bring that up again!" he said in a tone that was meant to shame her.

Hermione felt her eyes stinging, "No! I want to talk about it! I need to talk about it! I cried for a week Ron! And who was there comforting me? My fucking children! Where were you then?!"

"I LOST A FRIEND TOO!" he bellowed.

Hermione noticed Hugo stop playing and turn to look at them. She flashed him a watery smile and waved. After a moment, he turned back and continued to climb up the slide.

Ron turned to look at Hermione as the first tears slid down her cheeks. She didn't miss the expression on his face. Revulsion. He turned away.

"Prove it then." she said quietly. "Look at me."

He laughed sarcastically and shook his head before he turned his eyes to her face. They only lingered there for a few moments before he stood. "This is fucking ridiculous. Come on. We're going home."

"I'm not going home with you." she whispered.

"Fine. Fucking stay here then." Ron snarled. "Hugo! Come on, mate! Time to go!" he called in the direction of the playground.

"Hugo and I are going to stay at Isobel's." Hermione said.

Ron laughed cruelly, "If you think you're taking my fucking son, you've got another thing coming."

Hermione leapt to her feet then, her wand in her hand so fast, he almost missed it before it was pressed into his stomach. "And if you think I'm leaving him with you, Ronald Weasley, you're stupider than you look."

He did not move. He knew who was the better dueller out of the two of them, even with his Auror training.

Hugo approached them then, looking fearfully between his mother and father. Though he couldn't see Hermione's wand pressed into Ron's stomach, he could always sense the tension in the air. Hugo was like that.

Hermione held out her hand and her son moved forward and took it. A quick look around the park told her they were alone. Once she'd established this, her grip tightened and she turned her and her son into darkness.

The trees whispered around them as the pair materialised with a crack.

"Where are we?" asked Hugo, his voice quavering.

"At Isobel's." Hermione responded, trying to keep calm. Had all that really just happened? Had she really just left Ron there like that? Had she really just apparated out of a Muggle populated area? Had she really just walked out of her marriage?

Hermione held tight to Hugo's hand and began to walk up the long driveway that led to Isobel and Bo's house. Forest pressed in on them from all sides, making Hermione feel claustrophobic, despite its beauty.

"Are you and daddy fighting?" asked Hugo.

"Yes, sweetheart. But that's alright. Everything will be alright." she replied. It was always best to be honest with Hugo, he picked up on so much that lying to him only made him scared. "We're going to stay here for a little while."

"Ok." her son squeezed her hand a little tighter, "Are you alright, mum?"

"Not really, but that's ok too. That's why we're going to see Isobel. She'll help."

"I want to help."

"I know baby, but you don't need to help me. It's my job to help you! Anyway, you just being here helps." she stopped and bent down to lift her son into her arms before she continued to walk with him balanced on her hip. He seemed heavier every time she did this but it made her feel safer with his arms around her neck. "Are you ok, Hugo?"

"I'm sad." he responded and just hearing those words tore Hermione's heart into tiny, jagged little pieces.

"Do you want to cry?" she asked, not attempting to hide the thickness in her voice. He nodded but she could see him clenching his jaw, trying to keep the tears at bay just as Ron would do. "Well cry sweetie, it's ok." the little boy shook his head firmly and Hermione sighed, "Would it help if I cried too?"

Hugo nodded and so Hermione let open the flood gates.

Almost as if the two of them were in sync, the moment that first tear slipped down her cheek, Hugo buried his head into the crook of her neck and wetted it with his own.

And so Hermione walked, crying, with her crying son in her arms, up to the palatial house that belonged to her best friend of almost twenty years. She mounted the steps and knocked awkwardly on the door. Moments later it opened and Isobel stood there in shock for a moment as she took in the two weeping individuals that stood on her doorstep.

"I left him." said Hermione, her voice cracking.

"Oh shit." Isobel responded and ushered them inside.

"Izzy said a bad word." Hugo grunted, his voice muffled by Hermione's neck.

"The situation calls for it, Hugo." said Isobel, leading the both of them into the large stone kitchen.

Hermione and Hugo stayed with Isobel for months. And it needed to be that long really, because for a time, she couldn't handle moving at all and it felt like she stayed in bed for days. Hermione needed Isobel more than she ever had in her life. She forgot all about what proceeded the antipodal fight she'd had with Ron, forgot about Draco's letter all together. There was too much to be done, too much cleaning up, too much feeling.

It wasn't until one morning at the beginning of spring that Hermione thought of Draco again. And the thought had come for two reasons. One, she'd found his letter as she cleaned out her handbag, old and tattered and barely recognisable from when he'd given it to her. And two, she'd received an owl from Astoria. And it was this that drove her out of her room that afternoon while Hugo was sleeping next to her after she'd tried, quite unsuccessfully, to quieten her mind by reading.

She padded down the stairs and into the kitchen where Isobel sat at the bench, eating a muffin and reading the Daily Prophet.

"Isobel…?" asked Hermione, pushing Draco's crumpled letter into her pocket. She didn't really know why it had still been in her hand, but she'd just hadn't been able to put it down after she'd found it hours earlier.

"Mmm?" the younger woman responded, staring down at the paper which was open on the table.

"I got a letter this morning."

"Oh?" said her friend without looking up.

Hermione took a seat at the bench and drew the coffee pot sitting there towards her, pouring herself a coffee. "It was from Astoria. The divorce has been finalised. They're not married anymore."

Isobel finally looked up at Hermione over her reading glasses. "You're not surprised are you? This has been going on for months."

Hermione shrugged. "I know, it's just… She sounded happy."

"She is happy, Hermione. They both are."

"It just seems odd to me, that two people could be married for twelve years and suddenly be apart and still feel happy."

Isobel gave her a sympathetic look, "That's only because it hasn't been that way for you and Ron. That's all. But I don't see why they shouldn't be able to have that…"

"Don't you think it might just be Draco doing what he does though? Running away from his problems?" Hermione asked a touch incredulously, stirring sugar and milk into her mug.

Isobel laughed quietly and set the paper down. "Hermione, you know you've been doing that for the past eighteen years."

"Doing what?" asked Hermione, perplexed.

"Assuming the worst every time Draco makes a decision you don't know how to feel about. We're not teenagers anymore! He's been a responsible father and a successful Auror for over a decade now, when are you going to let go and allow him to make his own choices without fear of your bad opinion? Astoria and Draco are divorced. End of story. Why are you so effected by it? It doesn't concern you." Hermione could hear her friend's annoyance in her tone.

"But it does concern me." she said quietly, staring down into the mug in her hands.

"How, Hermione? Because you're friends? You barely speak to him! And when you do, you rarely say anything real… Or because you were in love once? Because you've shared a bed with him?"

"No! It's not for any of those reasons! It's because he wrote me a letter, alright?" Hermione retorted, wishing she hadn't even brought it up.

"What?" her friend appeared completely thrown.

Hermione pulled the now worn and occasionally torn parchment from her pocket and pushed it across the wooden bench towards Isobel.

"When we dropped the kids off on the train last year, he… I don't know, he must have waited until everyone had gone and then he just… Gave it to me. He said it was honesty."

She watched as her friend's eyes flicked over the parchment and then looked up at her again.

"Is this why you and Ron…?" Isobel breathed, surprised.

"No! Of course not!" growled Hermione defensively, "I left Ron because I didn't want to be with him anymore. Not because I was thinking about someone else…" she sighed, "I'd actually forgotten about that letter until this morning, it was at the bottom of my bag."

Isobel looked back down at it again, as if she was trying to decipher some minute detail that she'd missed before. "So what are you going to do?"

"I don't know that I need to do anything." Hermione replied, not entirely convinced of her own words.

Isobel nodded, "Ok… Well how does the letter make you feel?"

Hermione thought about this for a moment, "It makes me feel scared and… Oh god!" her head crashed down on the table, "It just brings it all back up again! All that stuff that I felt for him and the pain and the way it felt to touch him and… everything! It makes my head so messy!"

"You still think about him like that?" asked Isobel quietly.

"Of course I do!" Hermione bit out, as if it were obvious.

"After… after eighteen years?" Isobel asked, her voice awed.

Hermione had never heard it put like that, she'd never stopped to consider that the feelings had never really gone away, that they'd just been there, sitting quietly in the bottom of her heart. Most of the time they'd been manageable, a little like an old injury. It didn't ever hurt unless she moved that muscle in just the wrong way and then the pain was agonising. Of course, it never stopped her loving Ron, or being attracted to him any less. That was the beauty of it. She'd always loved both of them, equally and for different reasons. But now… That had changed.

"Do you love him, Hermione?"

Hermione closed her eyes and the word escaped her mouth painfully, as if it was fighting her the whole way, trying to claw back into her body. "Yes."

"Well I think you should go to him then." said Isobel simply after a few moments silence.

Hermione spluttered in exasperation, "What?! I can't do that! What about Ron! And Hugo! And everything Draco did!"

"Well, for one, Ron is dealing with all this pretty well now, considering. And Hugo loves Draco, you know that. And you seem to forget that everything he did back when we were at Hogwarts was followed by a long and eventful career fighting dark wizards, Hermione. He's quite literally devoted his entire life, even at times risking his life, fighting for the light. Don't you think he's shown his loyalty now?"

Hermione stared at Isobel for a long time, her mind ticking over at record speed.

"I'll look after Hugo." said Isobel when Hermione made no attempt to respond.

"Are you sure?"

"I've raised my own child, Hermione, I think I can handle yours for an afternoon… And possibly a night." she responded with a cheeky smile.

Hermione nodded dumbly before she got slowly to her feet. After only a moment's pause she rushed into the living room, hopped on the spot for a moment as she pulled on her shoes, before she scooped up a handful of floo powder from the jar by the fire place and threw it into the grate. Green flames blurred her vision as she stepped into it and called clearly, "Westgate Hall, Norfolk."

The flames carried her away and she closed her eyes hard to ward against the motion sickness she was so prone to getting while travelling through the floo network. Moments later, her feet found solid ground and she stumbled out gracelessly into an immaculate, lavishly decorated drawing room.

"Hello?" she called to the house in general but received no response which did not surprise her. Westgate Hall comprised of thirteen bedrooms in total after all.

Hermione took a few, tentative steps away from the fire place when suddenly, a house elf appeared with a crack in front of her.

"Can I help you miss Hermione?" it squeaked.

"Yes, I… I'm looking for Draco. Or Astoria." she added as an afterthought.

"Mistress Astoria does not live here anymore, miss, and Master Draco has gone for a walk down by the sea. I would be very happy to direct you to where he can be found, miss Hermione."

"No, no thank you. I think I know where I can find him. But… It would be good if you could show me where the backdoor is. I always get lost in this house." she requested with an apologetic laugh.

The house elf bowed and ushered Hermione out into the hallway. For a few minutes, they simply walked, far too slowly in her mind, and Hermione felt like she was being led through a labyrinth until finally, mercifully, the house elf led her to the back door.

"Thanks!" Hermione called out behind her as she immediately set off at a sprint through the perfectly kept garden. Of course, the garden was just as grand as the house it belonged to and it took Hermione several long minutes to reach its boundaries. She stared over the hedge at the sand dunes that rose out of the grass a few metres away, blocking the sea from her view. But she could still hear the ocean crashing against the shore, calling her, tempting her.

Hermione cast around herself desperately for a gate. The shadows were growing long as the afternoon gave way to evening and she knew that if she didn't get onto the beach soon, she'd never find him.

So, with as much dignity as she could muster, Hermione vaulted over the hedge, tearing her linen shirt and dirtying her jeans as her knees fell onto the grass on the other side. Upon inspection, the hedge looked a little worse for wear that she did.

She clamoured up one of the sand dunes, discarding her shoes after a few moments struggle so that she might make her journey easier, until she half tumbled and half ran onto the beach.

The ocean lay sprawled across her vision, grey with the falling dusk.

And there he was, standing a few feet in front of her and to her left, clad in one of those immaculate black suits that he looked so well in.

He turned at the sound of her clumsy arrival and she could see he'd been crying.

His eyes did not widen at the sight of her, did not register any amount of surprise or relief. They just looked pained.

"Hermione… I love you." he professed, his voice cracking.

"I know." she said, stumbling across the sand towards him, "I know."

And there was a second, just the briefest of seconds where their noses were almost touching, when she was breathing in his breath and he, hers, before her lips met his.

And there was that moment again, as their clothes fell on the sand and their bodies pressed together after eighteen years of pain and want, that moment where none of it mattered, where nothing could touch them. The cold was nothing, all that they'd been through was nothing, all that they still had to face was nothing. They were together, they were perfect, they were right where they needed to be.

Hermione opened her eyes and stared up at the stars blooming in the sky above her. Draco moved on top of her, her palms splayed on his bare back feeling his thrusts, feeling the vibrations of the sounds he made run through her hands like electricity. And the stars were rushing towards her and the colour she knew so well, even though she hadn't seen it in eighteen years, bloomed in her vision.

She didn't need magic to see magic. It was right there, with its skin pressed against her chest, with its lips on her neck, telling her it loved her over and over again for all the times it hadn't.

Draco was her magic, he always had been.

End.

A/N PLEASE READ!

To all my incomprehensibly wonderful, glorious, beautiful readers,

So here we are then. At the end. This story has been my sole focus for the last four months of my life and I have loved every single moment of it. I've loved sharing it with you all, loved your responses (both good and bad) and loved that I was able to be a part of re-creating a little segment of the world that we all love so much.

But before I sign off on this story, I'd like to say a few things.

ONE. Before you start picketing my house (as I'm sure you're all eager to do after that ending lol) there WILL be a sequel. It's all planned out and ready to roll! It will be 19 chapters long and cover the intervening years between Hermione's conversation with Isobel in chapter 40 and the epilogue. But there will also be one chapter covering the year AFTER the epilogue. It will be focused on the story of their lives and how they progressed, rather than magic in the way that Victim of the Fall was. So stay tuned! The first chapter will hopefully be up within a matter of weeks. I must warn you though, I want to increase my work load now and therefore, updates will not be as frequent. In fact, I would like to wait a little while before I start working on it properly, just to have a break is all. But don't worry, you can trust me. I will do it! While writing Victim of the Fall, I wrote nothing else and I do not want to continue this pattern. I have an original novel to write! Also, I plan on working on a few more fanfics which brings me to my second point…

TWO. I will now accept fic requests, in fact I strongly encourage you to make them! I believe it will help me to grow as a writer. Just send me a private message on and include a list of things you want and do not want to see in a fic plus LOTS of prompts, because I love them, even the eccentric ones! I won't make them any longer than five chapters though, just a series of novellas. I'm open to pretty much any pairing (or threesome or moresome lol), though I don't think I'd like to write slash. As a woman, I wouldn't really consider that my wheelhouse! As you all have probably gathered by now, most of what I write comes from personal experience. So femmslash, het and threesomes/moresomes is fine. Oh and I'll only write for Harry Potter for now.

THREE. I will still read and reply to any reviews you post. Of course this is not possible on so anyone reading on there who'd like some questions answered, just PM me on .

FOUR. The long awaited trailer! By the beautiful and talented MarauderNo5 who is simply amazing in every single way. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lLgxhXus2gY

And now… I have some acknowledgements to doll out.

Firstly, I'd like to thank my BETA, he knows who he is, for sitting up until 3am with me and drinking coffee (occasionally snoring on the couch) and helping me figure out the plot and flow of this story. SERIOUSLY would not have been able to do it without you.

Next set of thanks goes to my ridiculously intelligent and beautiful little sister, who has sat next to me throughout the writing of the last few chapters and screamed at me every time my typing stopped, rolled me cigarettes and made the tea. I love you.

To my mum for drumming into me all the harshest truths of writing, I still have nightmares about her reading my work and shouting "STOP RESORTING TO CLICHÉS! YOU'RE BETTER THAN THAT!". Also for reminding me to eat, sleep and shower when I became too engrossed. Basically for being a fantastic mum who I love and admire more than anything.

To my dad for grunting, "Mmm. Yeah. It's good." after he'd read every new chapter. And for reading chapter 29 even though it was fucking weird. Dad? I promise we'll never speak of it again hehe.

To my best mate, who planted the seed for the original idea for the Dividing Line by telling me that she likes to have sex in doorways because it makes her feel connected. Because she's on a Dividing Line. I love you, you fucking hippy!

Obviously, a huge portion of my gratitude goes out to my reviewers. Even the bad ones. Because more reviews means more views. So even if I thought you were so totally off the mark it was almost startling, you were still helping me out. Cheers :D. There were a couple of my most frequent reviewers who I'd like to mention by name because I have grown to love them dearly, but I'm worried I'll leave someone out! The ones who spring to mind are as follows: Kain, Lisha, Cat, Anaidra, TomFeltonMeUp, ExhiledWater, Aranel, dhreader, Deathraven, RavenclawStudent, RoseberryGirl, Wolness, Kou Shun'u, TheAthenzZ, mh21, Green_Eyed_Mist, Tori, DeliriousMuse… I have a feeling I may have lost some of you along the way, but your ongoing support really made this story what it was and I love you.

Lastly, I'd like to thank all the people in my life who's personalities and the experiences I shared with them, have served in making these characters come to life. Especially the men and women (both the crazy ones and the nice ones) who have been, at any point, a sexual or romantic partner of mine. You guys MADE Draco and Hermione. Everything about their relationship came from you. So I kinda hate you/love you lol.

Anyway, that's it for me.

It's been an awesome journey guys and I hope it will be the first of many. Maybe one day, you'll see my name in print, though you won't know it's me, and you'll recognise some of these concepts in a fresh, new, original novel. Keep your eye out for Afarit's Mark.

Love and light to you all,

Desdemona

xx

P.S FOR THOSE ON ADULTFANFICTION, SEND YOUR FIC REQUESTS TO pretty.desdemona@hotmail.com

Kain - So now for your special present! I really want to write a fic just for you, for making me laugh and giving me so much unyielding support. So please send me a request! I'll do any pairing, any timeline. I love you, thank you so much.

Bogarto - Your review pretty much hit the nail on the head! And don't worry, the sequel, I think, will impress you :D

marymary - You CAN see others responses! When you hit review at the bottom of the chapter, and it takes you to the review page, you'll see a serious of numbers just above the review box. Click any one of them and it'll take you to all the other reviews! :)

Aranel - IN REGARDS TO YOUR HAREM!!! I want a request! I want you to choose all the men you'd like involved with Hermione, and give me lots of prompts! Send me an email or hit me up on ff.net. I'm ridiculously excited to write it! xx

Cat - I always will respond, though unfortunately, AFF.net does not allow me to after I've posted the last chapter. But if you'de really like to communicate, find me on FF.net!

Green_Eyed_Mist - You're lovely, you know that? Daiquiris are a fucking fantastic idea lol. I need them now!

Miss Potter - Thanks! I'm glad you liked the quotes :D

goddessaisha - Read all the other stories that will no doubt come, unrelenting, from my mind! Haha. xx

The poem featured in this chapter is E.E Cummings' I Carry Your Heart.

The quote at the beginning of this chapter is from Ani Difranco's song Sick of Me. Her music has served as a huge inspiration for this piece. I own nothing. Thanks Ani!
- 40
- 41
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

Victim of the Fall