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Dearest Harry - Eileen's Story	By : Lucie Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Draco Views: 32759 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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A/N you might need a tissue or two for this chapter! More soon ~ Lucie

Thanks to Claudia and Laylee for the fantastic beta job! I have made some changes since I got this back, so any mistakes are my own.

Forty Two

�I�m not a werewolf any more? Really? Truly?� Draco asked, in complete astonishment�?

�Really.� Harry said. He had dragged Draco off to the tower bedroom, which was supposedly Harry�s, but was shared by Draco, more often than not. Severus had not told the blond boy anything, he had instead merely run some tests and then sent him off with Harry. Draco had just assumed that the soporific that Severus had given him had been so powerful that he had slept through his transformation.

�How?�

�Well, the other day, when I made love to you, I sort of wished that you weren�t a werewolf any longer. Severus thinks that something about me, about, what did he call it? Something about my �life fluids�, is very potent for healing, And because I was wishing very hard that you would be okay, without knowing it I performed sex magic, Draco. I healed you, forced out the Lycanthropy.

�Oh, Merlin!� Draco breathed. �I can�t believe it, I just can�t believe it. Is it true Harry? Really?�

Harry nodded, thrilled to see the delight, the joy in Draco�s eyes, and to know that he had made things better.

�Severus says that Lycanthropy is like some sort of disease. It takes over the natural physical processes and reacts to the phases of the moon, but somehow I destroyed it, like I destroyed Eileen�s Cancer, forced it out.�

Draco looked completely stunned. His eyes were filled with tears now and he was staring at Harry with so much love in his expression that Harry almost couldn�t breathe.

�I can�t quite believe it, you know?� He asked. �I�ll never transform again? Is Severus sure?�

Harry nodded. �Yeah, he�s researching it to make sure, it�s just a hunch for now, but Severus isn�t usually wrong when it comes to potions! He couldn�t help himself, he felt inordinately proud of his uncle right then, he smiled to himself, but Draco was still looking a bit confused, so Harry continued. �He took a sample of your blood, remember? When you first woke up? He says that it is different now, that it isn�t like werewolf blood any longer. In fact, he says that he might have to take more samples, that your blood might even be like a, what did he call it? ��The basis for a werewolf vaccine.��

He is positive that he will be able to do something, using your blood as a culture, to create a potion. I really hope he can, because I would probably never be able to repeat the magic I did. With anyone else I mean.� Harry said, he was anxious to tell Draco that, �I wouldn�t want to(,) you know?

�I don�t know if sex would still be involved or if it would work without that. I hope it does, otherwise I don�t know what Remus would do now that Tonks has gone.�

Draco was staring at him with a look of what Harry interpreted as a fond exasperation

�What?� Harry asked, slightly annoyed.

�Harry, I do love you, but sometimes you are so dim!�

Harry flushed, he felt a bit disgruntled at the slight. �What do you mean?�

�If sex were necessary, Remus would be fine. Haven�t you seen the way that Severus looks at him? Or the way that Remus looks at Severus, too, when he thinks that nobody is looking?�

Harry stared in shock.

�Severus and Remus?� He squeaked

�Yeah, why not?� Draco replied.

�But, but, what about Tonks? She�s only just died. And they are not gay, are they?�

Draco looked steadily at Harry for a long time, until Harry felt a bit uncomfortable and finally looked away.

They were sat together on the bed, Draco leaning against one of the bedposts and Harry seated opposite him supported by a pile of pillows. Their feet were entangled, but Harry sort of wanted to pull his feet back; he felt really embarrassed and a bit cross. Draco seemed so much better at this emotional stuff than he did, Harry thought to himself.

�Harry,� Draco said gently, �look at me Harry. You�re so fucking sweet, you know that? And I love you so much. Don�t worry about Remus, Harry. Let Severus take care of him. He will, you know. At the moment they are sort of dancing around each other, probably because of Tonks, but they�ll get there in the end. After all, we did.

�And being gay doesn�t count in the magical world, remember? It�s magic which attracts a partner, and I think those two belong together; they just haven�t worked it out yet, that�s all. �

Draco had started crawling up the bed towards Harry. �But right now, Harry, I don�t want to talk about Severus and Remus, I want to show you my appreciation. I have a lot to thank you for, haven�t I?� Draco was practically purring now. He had reached Harry�s waist-band and he started to undo Harry�s belt.

�I�ll never transform again? You are sure?�

Harry nodded, already beginning to feel hot. Draco was running a hand along Harry�s thigh, and Harry was getting really hard. �Um, Sssseverus says not! Oh, God!� Draco had his hand in Harry�s trousers and Harry found he couldn�t quite think straight anymore. Draco chuckled evilly and got on with giving Harry the very best thank you that he had ever had.
Over the next two weeks, Harry realised that he had never been happier, but, at the back of his mind, he knew that one day soon he was going to have to face up to that fact the he was going to die. Despite what Severus had said about saving him, Harry couldn�t believe that he would live. As far as he was concerned, the prophecy was just too clear, he had to die. Neither can live whilst the other survives�

He didn�t want to die, he really didn�t. He loved having a family, being with Ron and Hermione, being with Draco. He loved Eileen, loved that she spoiled him and looked at him as if he were the most wonderful person that she had ever seen, and as for Severus? Severus had been so good to Harry in the last few months, so supportive, almost like a father somehow.

Harry didn�t remember James, he had been proud of him in an abstract sort of way and then ashamed, and now he felt nothing but a sort of distant fondness for the man.

Sirius he had truly loved. But even at fifteen he had known how damaged Sirius was. His godfather had always been hotheaded, quick tempered, but what had happened to Sirius had been awful. He had spent all of his adult life in prison for a crime that he did not commit, he would have needed Harry to support him, and he would have done it. But Sirius could never have done what Severus had done for Harry.

Severus was the closest thing to a father-figure that he had ever had. He was surprised at how intense their relationship had become in such a short time. That such a deep hatred had turned to an equally powerful love, at least on Harry�s part. He was truly quite surprised that he wanted to spend time with Severus, that his sarcasm made him laugh, that he felt safe with Severus.

It was wonderful having a family, it really was, but Harry felt like he was living on borrowed time. They still hadn�t found out a way of removing the last Horcrux without killing Harry, even after all these weeks of seemingly endless research.

Hermione thought that there might be a way; she thought that perhaps they could somehow stop his heart, stop his breathing for a short time and then Eenervate him, but Eileen and Severus doubted that this would work. As far as Harry could see, though, there was no other option and in the meantime every other suggestion that was thought up sounded even dafter than the last.

In the meantime, if he was going to die then he was going to enjoy every single moment of whatever time he had left. So he trained hard, with Severus and with Remus, with Moody, Kingsley and Bill. He could fight several of them at once now. He could cast spells silently and he could do these things without a wand.

He tried to spend quiet times with Ron and Hermione, Neville, Luna and Draco too. He sat with his grandmother and flew round the Quidditch pitch and tried to be cheerful and live each moment to the full.

But deep inside himself, Harry felt uneasy, he thought that something was wrong. Something unsettling was going on and Harry couldn�t quite say what it was, but neither could he completely relax. Things might have gone on like that for a very long time if Harry had not finally gone in search of Hedwig. He had not seen her for weeks, and was missing her dreadfully.

Hedwig was one of the few living creatures that had always been there for him. When he had been on his own at the Dursley�s, lonely and isolated, Hedwig would comfort him, keep his loneliness away. He had sent her to Hogwarts, because he was worried about her about her safety. He thought that Hogwarts was the best place for his beloved owl. She was safe with Hagrid; Hagrid would look after her.

But each time he asked after her, he was told that she was out hunting, or sleeping or away. Harry had had enough; he wondered what they weren�t telling him and why they were keeping his owl away from him. Finally, seventeen days after his unconscious form had been brought back to the only place that he had ever called home, Harry went searching for his owl.

He decided to start with the Owlry, even though he had not found Hedwig there whenever he had gone up there before, and if she was not there this time, he would go in search of Hagrid. Hagrid had mostly rebuilt his home by now. He had Grawp�s help, which had made things easier, but he had been quite elusive since Harry had returned. So Harry told no-one where he was going, he waited until Draco and Ron were engaged in a game of chess, until Hermione was busy researching, until Severus was engrossed in brewing, until Eileen was away somewhere for the day. He went to the Owlry first as he had planned, just in case Hedwig was there. But there were only school owls filling the perches along the walls.

The more he thought about it, the more worried he became. He hadn�t had any owls visit him, not for weeks, no owls, no post and no Daily Prophet. Harry hated the papers and avoided them whenever he could, Severus had told him what they were saying, edited highlights(,) Harry thought with a grim smile.

Then Harry knew what had happened, he knew with a cold hard certainty. Things were not going well in the wizarding world. People were dying and they were not telling him. Harry went in search of his owl and then he went in search of Hagrid, the one person Harry thought who would tell him the truth, or was at least incapable of lying effectively.

Severus was brewing when Harry came in to the potions lab some time later.

He had taken a number of different samples from Draco, and he was getting quite excited with the results that he was getting. Draco�s blood really did seem to be different from normal magical blood or werewolf blood for that matter. It was alive with antibodies, very powerful antibodies. If used as the basis of a potion, Severus was sure that would make a difference.

He looked up at Harry when he came in.

�Hello there,� he said, smiling at his nephew, �I think this is going to work, Harry. I think I can make a potion based on the antibodies in Draco�s blood. We may just have created the cure!�

But Harry wasn�t smiling, his face looked infinitely sad.

�Why didn�t you tell me, Severus?� he said, �Why did nobody tell me?�

Severus� heart sank.

�Tell you what, Harry?� he asked.

�About the deaths, the disappearances. Nearly two hundred people in the last few months alone, Severus.�

Harry�s voice was strained, his face pale. �I didn�t know. All this time I have been fucking around, people have been dying and nobody said, nobody told me. You kept my owl away; you kept Hagrid away because he might have said something by accident. I didn�t know and you should have told me.�

�What good would it have done you to know, Harry?� Severus asked.

�You feel guilty enough already, don�t you? How much more can you expect yourself to do? How much more guilt can you carry around? You have been trying your best; you have destroyed three Horcruxes in the past few weeks, you have been doing everything that you could do!�

�Not this week,� Harry whispered, �I have just been relaxing, enjoying myself and people have been dying, Severus! They have been disappearing; they could be being tortured or something! I can�t just sit around any longer!�

�That is precisely why we didn�t tell you, Harry.� Severus took in the misery on Harry�s face and knew he had been right not to say anything; his nephew was quite simply distraught.

�I never knew about the deaths at Privet Drive. All those people and it was my fault, Severus. They died because Voldemort sent Death Eaters after me! They were totally innocent, they didn�t deserve to die!�

�Does that mean that you do?� Severus asked urgently. �You are an innocent too, you don�t deserve what has happened to you either! You never deserved to lose your parents, to grow up with those dreadful people who hated you so much, who made you feel so badly about yourself. And you did not deserve the way that I treated you either. I was wrong, Harry! But I will not let you be harmed again, I swear it!�

�But it has to be me, don�t you see that? It has to be me that dies!� Harry�s voice had an hysterical edge to it. �I have to. The Prophecy says that, and it can�t be cheated! I don�t want to die, Severus, I want to live, I really, really do. But I don�t want anyone else to die in my place. No-one! All the other Horcruxes are gone now, all of them except me!

Harry looked straight into his uncle�s eyes, �I want you to promise me something, Severus.�

Severus� heart clenched, he knew what Harry was going to say even before he opened his mouth. He knew that although he was going to say �no� and they would fight that in the end he would agree, because Harry would give him no option.

�If we don�t come up with a solution in the next week, then I am going to find him, and I am going to kill him. If he doesn�t kill me, then I want you to do it.�

�No.� Severus said, as the whole scenario began to play out exactly as he had envisioned.

�You must! There is no other option!� Harry said, his voice was getting louder, he was becoming distraught, �You did it for him, you did it for Dumbledore when he asked you to, you must do it for me!�

�I can�t!� Severus shook his head, �I just can�t!�

�You have to! He has to be destroyed! I will defeat him Severus, I am stronger than he is now, I know I am. I�ll kill him, but there�ll still be a bit of him left in me. It will eat away at me, I can already feel it, like a canker in my brain. He has to be completely eradicated, for good, for ever. My whole life has been about this, Severus, all of my life!� He grabbed Severus� arm, just where the Dark Mark was branded into his skin and Severus flinched, but Harry wasn�t letting go.

�I can�t do it again, Harry, not you, please don�t make me. He won�t overcome you, you are too strong.�

Severus was sobbing now. He fell to his knees, but Harry still would not let go. His green eyes were flashing with anger, with a fervent rage!

�He might! Or there might be some other way that he could be extracted from me and live again. Neither can live while the other survives! I can�t take the risk. Please, Severus! Please.�

�Harry! Don�t do this to me, you are all that is left, all I have left of Lily, of myself. Please don�t ask this of me?� Severus� voice was broken, like his words were being dragged over gravel whilst they were being formed.

�No one else must die for me, Severus!� Harry�s voice was quiet but firm, insistent. �I don�t know if Muggle ways would work, I don�t know how to do it myself. I�d get it wrong or something, and then he might end up possessing me, If Voldemort had my magic he could rule the world.� Harry�s hand was hurting him, his grip was so tight. Not that Severus minded the pain, he just did not want to yield, not in this.

�I would die for you, Harry.� Severus whispered, �I will not let you go, I love you like a son. I wish, I wish I had known this sooner, known what you are! That you are Lily�s child, that your soul shines bright like hers did! I cannot let your life be thrown away like this!�

�Oh, Severus!� Harry was on his knees now, beside Severus, his other arm was extended around Severus� back, almost as if he were trying to shield him, and those green eyes of his, Lily�s eyes, were boring into Severus� own. Seeking his surrender.

�This is my life.� Harry said, desperately. �This is what I am here for! Please Severus, it has to be you.�

His grip became even tighter, �Who else could do it, Severus? There is no one else. Who could I ask? Ron? Hermione? Draco? Eileen? It would destroy them!�

�And what do you think it would do to me, Harry, to have to kill you? It would destroy me too!�

�I know.� Harry said, �I know and I am so very sorry, but you are the only person that I know will do it, that I trust to do it anyway. I need to know that he cannot come back, not ever. He is too evil; he has destroyed too many lives already. No more, Severus, there can be no more deaths for my sake.�

�We could wait?� Severus said in desperation. �We could try later, when he is gone, when you�ve killed him!�

Harry shook his head. �I couldn�t do it then, not in cold blood. It has to be in battle, at the heat of the battle, you can tell everyone that we killed eachother, him and me, then you won�t have to answer any questions. Everyone would accept that I think.�

�I�m impressed, Mr Potter. You have actually tried to think this through, though not very successfully I might add! It does make a change for you, using thought instead of action does it not?� Severus sneered. He tried to stand up, but his legs felt rather shaky and Harry�s arm was still wrapped around him, his hand still on Severus� arm. So he contented himself, with staring coldly back at Harry. �I do not appreciate you trying to embroil me in this madness, there has to be another way! Once the Dark Lord is dead we will have plenty of time to explore the possibilities, we will find a way of destroying the Horcrux then, so do try to curb your impetuosity!� He was trying to get Harry angry, get him to back off, storm out perhaps.

But Harry gave a short laugh. �That won�t work on me any longer, Severus. I know you too well now, I know you are trying hard not to say that you will do what I ask, that you will kill me. I know that you never break your promises. Once you have agreed to kill me, you will not go back on your word and I need you to promise me this.

�Besides, I don�t think I could go through with it later. I might not have the courage, once it is all over, I�ll want to live too much.

�And he might take me over, each day that I allow him to exist makes that more of a possibility.�

�No!� Severus gasped. �You are too strong Harry, your soul is too pure, there would not be a chance of that!�

�Oh there would be! I can feel him already, a darkness, seeping into the edges of my thoughts. I am the last Horcrux, Severus. I�ll be his only chance of survival. He wants to survive. I will not let him do that by using me.�

Harry had pushed his forehead against Severus� own. Resting his head there, still staring into Severus� eyes with a burning intensity.

�No more deaths instead of me, not Ron, not Hermione, nor Draco, nor Gran and not you either, Severus, not you either.�

Severus nodded. He couldn�t speak; it was as if someone had rammed something cold and hard down his throat.

But Harry had sagged with relief. �Thank you,� he whispered, �thank you.�

Severus put his arms around Harry and held him close. This boy whom he had come to love so deeply.

�I will try everything else first.� Severus finally managed to say. His voice sounded as if it belonged to someone else, someone who had not spoken for many years, who�s vocal cords had been rent in two and roughly repaired. �Everything, Harry! And you must do as I say. �

�But if there is no other option, you will kill me?� Harry demanded, his words muffled by Severus� chest, but still all too clear to Severus.

�If there is no other option, then I will.� Severus said, and as he spoke the light of hope that had been shining in his soul went out, and Severus felt nothing but the very deepest despair.
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Dearest Harry - Eileen's Story