Both Sides | By : ccino49 Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female Views: 10429 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
I do not own any of the characters or places from the Harry Potter books or films. They all belong to J.K. Rowling. All that is mine is Lou and the plot. I am not making any money from the writing of this story.
Both Sides.
CH 42 Come to the ball Lou
Validus flew to her side and hooted softly. Then he gave her an image of him and Hedwig, standing looking into a nest with two owlets, one black, one snowy white, squawking up at their parents, waiting to be fed.
“Validus, you’re a dad, oh does Harry know? Hey, that makes me a granny. Eeww no, aunty I think. I’m gonna wait for Harry in the main hall and tell him. Congratulations Validus.”
Lou washed her face, tidied her hair and set off to wait for Harry to finish class.
When Harry, Ron and Hermione exited the dungeons corridor and saw Lou hopping about on one foot, eagerly looking their way, they ran to see what she was up to.
“Lou, what is it?”
“You look like you’ve just discovered Christmas.”
“We thought you’d be upset after what happened in class.”
The three spoke one after the other and Lou waited for them to finish.
“I’m fine, honest, I was upset, but I’m not now. This is better than any old Christmas, Harry, you’re a dad.” She said excitedly.
Harry went white. “I’m a what?” He asked as Ron and Hermione looked at him horrified.
Lou burst into giggles. “Hedwig and Validus, they’ve got babies, two, a black on and a white one,” She told him, her eyes sparkling brightly.
Harry’s jaw dropped for a moment as Ron and Hermione laughed along with Lou.
“Lou, you scared the living daylights out of me telling me that.” Harry told her before his mouth spread to a wide grin. “Really, two?”
“Yeah, Validus just showed me. They’re up in the owlery so you’ll be able to go see them. Will you tell me what they’re like when you get back?” She asked excitedly.
“Why would we want to do that?” He asked her.
Lou’s face dropped as she looked at Harry. I…I just thought you might, but it doesn’t matter. I have to go.” She told him quickly.
“Lou you twit.” Harry said, grabbing her arm. “I meant why aren’t you coming with us?”
“Oh.” She said, embarrassed now at misunderstanding him. “I can’t, too many stairs.” She said, smiling a little.
“I thought Kreatcher apparated you to classes, why can’t he take you to the owlery?” Hermione asked.
“I can’t ask him, I’m only allowed to let him help me when it’s …what the heck. I’ll have to shut myself in my room and go from there, otherwise I‘ll get into bother, I’ll see you up there okay?” She whispered.
“You’re on.” Harry told her.
Lou hurried to her room as the three Gryffindors ran up the main staircase.
Lou had to tell her friends she had some urgent homework to do so she could escape to her room. She called for Kreatcher as soon as she locked the door.
He was only too happy to take her to the owlery and she was there within seconds.
By the time the golden trio arrived, Kreatcher had Lou floating in the rafters, looking at the owlets and praising Hedwig and Validus.
The elf set her down gently and she was overwhelmed when she told the others about the chicks.
“Kreatcher, would you mind, for me, please?”
The elf pulled a face, but levitated Harry so he too could see the chicks.
Kreatcher refused to do likewise with Ron and Hermione, arguing that they did not own the owls so had no reason to see them.
Lou said she’d ask Pegnose to come and help instead and Kreatcher suddenly changed his mind.
Once they’d all seen the owlets, Lou grabbed Kreatcher and gave the disgruntled elf a hug.
When the others complained about this, she laughed.
“You lot can think what you like, Kreatchers been great looking after me since I came here, he deserves a hug.
She was in much better spirits when she left her room, ready to join her friends for supper.
The next couple of weeks passed quickly for Lou. She wrote twice more to Mr Lupin and both times, he wrote back. He’d not found anything suitable yet as far as houses went, but he enjoyed her letters and Lou enjoyed his replies.
Now everyone was getting excited about the Halloween ball this weekend and Lou had never been to a ball before.
Her friends all had partners to go with and although several boys had asked Lou to go with them, she said no thank you.
She didn’t know how to dance, even if she did, she wouldn’t be able to, not with her leg the way it was. Besides, she knew what her friends did with boys and she didn’t want to do that. Boys expected it and she knew first hand how much it hurt.
Her friends couldn’t understand why she didn’t want to go to the ball, or why she turned down some of the handsomest boys in the school.
But Lou couldn’t tell them the truth, she was too ashamed.
The night before the ball, Severus was marking papers in his office when there was a knock at the door.
“Enter.” He called, disgruntled at being disturbed.
He was in a foul mood at being roped in yet again to chaperone tomorrow nights ball.
“What is it Miss Granger?” He drawled, hoping she would say what she had to say and leave.
“Professor, it’s about Lou.”
That got his attention and he motioned she take a seat.
“What about Miss Black?” He asked.
“Sir, several of her friends have been to see me, they’re worried about her because she refuses to go to the ball.”
“I do not see that as a problem Miss Granger, more like common sense. Now if there is nothing else, I am rather busy.”
Hermione steeled herself. “Sir, it is a problem, at least, I think it is.”
He lowered his quill and narrowed his eyes at her, one brow raised in question.
Sir several of the more …nicer boys here have asked Lou to go to the ball with them, she turned them all down. Her friends say she shies away nervously every time one approaches her. I think it is more then shyness though that is preventing her from saying yes to one of them. Sir you know what I’m talking about.”
Severus sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Yes, I do know, but I do not see what I can do about it. If she refuses to go, I cannot force her, nor do I wish to.”
“I’m not talking about forcing her, Sir, I would like your permission to talk to her, tell her I know what happened. She needs to know that not all boys want to …you know.”
“I see, and that is what you think is it Miss Granger, that not all boys want one thing? Well trust me when I tell you that they do. Considering what she went through, I feel it better that she does not go to the ball.”
“Whether she goes or not, she still needs to talk to someone about what happened, and I know for a fact that she hasn’t. If it were me, I’d want to talk to someone too. Her friends say she has a beautiful ball gown hanging in her wardrobe that she won’t even try on. She cannot spend her life fearing every male that comes near her. The only boys she’ll allow near her are Harry or Ron.
Harry’s taking Lou’s friend Stacy to the ball and Ron really wants to ask Lou, but he’s afraid she’ll turn him down as she did the others.”
“I should hope she would turn him down.” The Professor said indignantly. The last thing she needs in a hormonal idiot like that trying to get into her …well I do not think it is a good idea.”
“Ron is not hormonal Sir. He’s quick to speak without thinking, but he’s a kind gentle person. He would never try to force Lou to do something she didn’t want to do; besides, we would keep an eye on her. It will give her a chance to see that not all boys are like Malfoy and Zabini, I’m sure you’ll agree she needs to know that. Please Sir, let me tell her I know what happened to her, try and persuade her to come with us.”
“Very well.” He said after a long pause. “It goes against my better judgement, but you may try. However, I am holding you personally responsible for her Miss Granger. Should she be upset in any way, or Weasley do anything untoward, I will make you suffer, do you understand me? It is only the fact that you usually show a great deal of common sense, and seem to have some kind of control over those two buffoons you tag along with, that persuades me to allow this. You may go.”
“Thank you Sir. I won’t let you …or Lou down.”
When she left, Severus paced his office. He was on edge now. He’d not realised how deeply this whole thing had affected Lou and why should he, he wasn’t a girl, how was he supposed to know how they felt? So why didn’t she want to dress up like the other girls? He thought all girls liked to put on fancy dresses and show themselves off, there again, not all girls were like Lou.
She was pretty and curvaceous, bubbly too when she was allowed. But she hid her feelings deep; he knew how self conscious she was about herself. Even though she laughed at herself, he figured it was mostly show, to hide her insecurities.
She’d always dressed to look like a boy before he took her to Diagon Alley and purchased robes for her, she told him it was safer that way.
He would have to wait and see what happened when Granger spoke to her, but why did it have to be Weasley of all people who was offering to take her? There were plenty of other boys in the school who would jump at the chance. He wondered if she would be able to dance with her leg the way it was. He still had some of the experimental potion left and wondered if it would do any good were she to start taking it again. One thing was for certain, if Miss Granger did manage to persuade her to go, and he was sure she would, then he would be watching Lou like a hawk tomorrow evening.
Hermione stood outside the Slytherin common room and called for an elf to ask Lou if she could speak with her privately.
It was only minutes before Lou opened the door and asked her in.
“Hermione, what are you doing here, do you want to go to my room or shall we go somewhere else? Is something wrong? Have I done something?” She asked, worried and curious at the same time.
“Lou you haven’t done anything. Can we go to your room please; I don’t feel like tackling the stairs again just yet.”
They received some curious looks from the Slytherins when Hermione stepped into the common room. But Lou’s friends were quick to say hello and welcome her and this seemed to put the others at ease somewhat.
Feelings between the two houses were much less strained with the absence of Malfoy, even Crabbe and Goyle kept to themselves these days. Without Malfoy and Zabini to stir things up, the seventh year Slytherins were behaving quite well.
Lou and Hermione entered Lou’s room and Lou locked and warded the door.
Hermione added a silencing spell and Lou looked at her warily.
“I have done something, or you wouldn’t have done that. What is it Hermione?” She asked the older girl nervously.
“Nothing silly, sit down, I just want to talk to you.”
Lou climbed onto the bed and sat back against the pillows, so Hermione kicked off her shoes and joined her.
“Lou, why don’t you want to go to the ball?”
“What? I just don’t, why are you asking me that?”
“Because I think your afraid. Because I think you’ve said no to every boy that asked you to accompany them because you’re scared of what they’ll do to you.”
Lou looked at Hermione amazed. “How do you know that? Anyway you’re wrong, I just don’t like balls that’s all.”
“Really? How many have you been to Lou?”
“Well, none but …”
“Lou I know what happened.”
“Happened? Nothing happened.“
“I know what Malfoy and Zabini did to you.”
“No.” Lou whispered. “You don’t know. You cant know, nobody does. Your wrong, they didn’t. Who told you?” She asked, her eyes filling with tears.
Hermione turned on her side, looking at her friend. “Lou.” She said softly. “I’ve known since the day it happened. I’m the one who’s been telling everyone you were in a private hospital when you were really in Professor Snape’s quarters. I was the one covering most of his classes so he could treat your leg. Lou I wanted to tell you before that I knew, but I was under oath to keep it to myself. Now I want to help you. You cant hide from this forever, it’s a waste of your life.”
“Why cant I hide from it? It’s my life, dirty as it is, it’s mine. I can hide if I want to.”
“Lou your life isn’t dirty.”
“It is, I am. Most of my life men have wanted to do things to me, bad things or dirty things. It must be me because Malfoy and Zabini saw it straight away, otherwise they wouldn’t have …wouldn’t have …” Lou couldn’t say any more as she broke down into wracking sobs.
Hermione took hold of her and held her, saying nothing, just letting her cry, and crying with her.
Their tears mingled on the pillow, both clinging onto each other, sharing Lou’s grief at what happened to her.
When Lou’s sobs eventually became sniffs and hiccoughs, Hermione took a tissue from her pocket and passed it to Lou.
Lou in turn was surprised to see that Hermione had also been crying.
“Why were you crying?” She asked the older girl.
“For you silly, why do you think. I’m your friend Lou, if something upsets or hurts you, it affects me too. That’s why I’m here, you need to know that not all boys, or men for that matter, are like Malfoy and Zabini, or like the people you’ve known in the past. You trust Harry and Ron don’t you?”
Lou sniffed and nodded. “But they still all want that though don’t they. Malfoy and Zabini, they took my virginity Hermione. I didn’t want them to but they took it anyway. The stuck me to a mattress and did it over and over. I hated it, it hurt so much, I don’t ever want to do it again. Stacy and the others, they do it all the time and they like it, but I don’t. I’m not normal Hermione, I hate what they did when everyone else enjoys it.”
“Lou, that’s because they took you against your will. When you care about someone, love them, it’s different. You want to give them all of you, it doesn’t hurt then, not when the two people involved love each other. If the man loves the woman, he makes sure that she’s ready before they do anything. He’s gentle and caring and would never do anything to hurt that person. What happened to you was rape, it was violent and wrong, but it was not your fault. You didn’t want it to happen, they forced themselves on you. Lou that doesn’t make you dirty, it means they are evil, bad and wrong. It means that you are still pure inside, even if they took away your virginity. Your not a bad person Lou, your good, you’ve proved that over and over.”
“I’m not good Hermione, I wish I was but I’m not.”
“Says who?”
“If …if I show you something, do you promise not to tell? You probably won’t ever talk to me again when you see but …it’s me, what I am.”
“Lou, if it’s the scars, I know about those too, and I still say you are good. The people who did those things to you, they are the bad ones.”
“That’s what Seve …Professor Snape told me, but I didn’t believe him. I wanted to, but …I dunno, he’s a man, like they were. I don’t know what I thought really.”
“And now I’ve told you the same thing, but I’m not a man Lou, I’m a woman like you, I have the same thoughts and feelings that you do. I’ve never been through what you have, and I can only imagine how you must have felt, but it doesn’t mean I don’t understand up to a point. And I do care about how you feel, and I want you to start feeling good about yourself. I’m not the only one either, your friends came to see me you know, they’re worried about you. You wont try on your gown, you’ve turned away the most attractive boys in the school point blank, you just outright refuse to go to the ball. Lou this is your time, you need to learn to live it, enjoy it. None of us knows what’s round the corner with Voldemort always doing something terrible. We have to enjoy what we have while we have it. So show me this gown of yours and tell me you’ll go to the ball.”
“No, I still can’t go.”
“Why not?”
“Because I can’t dance, and even if I could, my stupid leg won’t let me, and my gown is cut too low. I wasn’t there when Madam Malkin made it, she didn’t know about my scars.”
“Well for one thing, the boy who really wants to escort you to the ball, more than any other in this school I might add, claims he can’t dance either, so that wont be a hardship. As for the gown, put it on and if it’s not right, I’ll take it into Hogsmead tomorrow and get it altered. There’s a shop called Gladrags, they do alteration in a jiffy.
Ten minutes later, Hermione had persuaded Lou to put on the gown.
“Lou it’s beautiful on you, look, the scars hardly show at all. I think we only need to have the neckline line heightened slightly, half an inch at most, then it will be perfect. I’ll take it first thing in the morning. So can I tell Ron he can ask you to the ball without getting turned away?”
“What? Hermione no, what if he wants to …you know. I cant.”
“He wont, he just wants to take you. Lou he’s fancied you since day one, he just couldn’t admit it. Harry and I knew, even if he didn’t. He’ll never try and hurt you Lou, and Harry’s taking Stacy, although I get the impression you would‘ve been his first choice. I’ll be there too, I’m going with the new head boy, Michael Hollyrood, he asked me so sweetly, I think he’s even more shy than Ron. So I can tell Ron he can ask you?”
“I suppose so, but I feel silly, I’ve never had a boyfriend before.”
“Lou, it’s just a dance, but who knows, maybe you’ll want to see him again.” Hermione told her with a smile. Best tell your owl not to peck his skull open again though.” She laughed.
It took Ron until the following lunchtime to pluck up the courage to ask Lou to the ball. When he did and she shyly said yes, he couldn’t believe his ears and made her say it again.
“Erm, I’m afraid I’m not much of a dancer.” He told her.
“Lou laughed. “And you think I’m gonna want to tango with this leg?”
“I was hoping you’d say something like that. Maybe we can manage a slow dance later, I wont do anything you don’t want me to do. Hermione’s already given me a lecture and threatened to hex my …well something off if I don’t behave. I don’t know what she thinks I’m gonna do, she’s nutty at times. I’ll pick you up at seven then outside your common room.”
“You don’t have to do that, I’ll meet you outside the hall if you want.”
“You will not, a lady should be collected from her door, at least that’s what my mum always says. So you wait until I come for you okay?”
“Okay, and Ron.”
“Mmm?”
“Thanks.”
“Don’t thank me Lou, I’m the one who should be thanking you. I’ll see you later.”
When her friends discovered she was going to the ball, they were excited. She told them Hermione was coming down to help her get ready, and that Ron and Michael would be picking them up here.
“They’re coming for you, that’s not fair, we’ve all got to meet our dates in the main entrance.” Bernie told her.
“Well I think it’s romantic.” Stacy said. “I’m gonna tell Harry he has to pick me up here too.” She dashed off to go find him as the others laughed.
“He won’t do it I bet you.“ Anna said. “There’s no way you’d catch Harry Potter in the dungeons.”
“Why not?” Nichole said. “If Ron Weasley’s willing to come down here, why shouldn’t Harry?”
At six o’clock, Lou was being helped from the bath by Pegnose.
Kreatcher was banished for the evening, Pegnose telling him that this was ladies only and he would be in the way.
Kreatcher as usual, didn’t argue with his mate.
TBC
Please review
ccino
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