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Nights of Gethsemane	By : starcrossedkayla Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Snape Views: 53273 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 41
- 42
- 43
[[I hope everyone is having a good New Year! I've been busy with work and one of my betas had breast cancer and had to get surgery (she's fine now_, so sorry for being behind. x.x Thank you very much for the reviews. greenwizard, I would love for you to help me by beta-ing. Let me know if you are interested. morganabythesea: that's a spoiler. I know it can get a bit frustrating at times with the dance they do of getting together and running away from each other, but I want it to be realistic and under the circumstances (eg, imprisonment and rape), I think that some bumps are necessary and healthy.]]

Snape woke Harry with spells the next morning. Even though it had been some time since Harry had been attacked while sleeping, he woke as soon as he heard the sharp crackling sound of the first spell. Unfortunately, in his sleepiness, he mixed up left with right and ran smack into the wall.

�Are you hurt?� Snape stepped into the cell and swept over to the bed.

�Not really, just awake.� Harry rubbed at the spot where his skull had collided with the drywall.

�Take this, just in case.� Snape held out the normal painkiller. Harry took it and carefully placed one drop on his tongue before pressing it back into Snape�s hand.

Snape tucked it back into his robes and stepped away from Harry to spell breakfast on the table. He then sat in his chair and drank his tea as Harry climbed into his seat and bit into a sausage.

�You will have a normal training session today,� Snape said evenly, his voice cooler than normal. �And we should perform this evening. I know you despise it as much as I, but it is simply something you must do.�

Harry frowned as he drank his orange juice, not sure how to respond to that comment. He didn�t despise the sex and neither did Snape. Harry knew it was possible to have an erection out of fear or anger rather than arousal, but he didn�t think that was the case with Snape. He felt sure Snape wanted him, but something happened two nights ago that now made Snape pretend he didn�t like having sex with him.

Harry was still puzzling over everything as Snape led him up to the practice room which had been cleared of furniture. As Snape spelled the balls, Harry glanced around the room and had an epiphany. Two nights ago was the first time he remembered seeing Narcissa at a Death Eater gathering, even though Lucius had been to many. The Death Eaters who molested Harry mentioned they thought he was giving Snape head regularly. It was possible Narcissa heard what the Death Eaters said about him and Snape. Harry was pretty sure she hadn�t known about Snape�s sexual involvement with him when she had visited earlier; otherwise, she wouldn't have slept with Snape. Maybe she found out about them last night and that was why she left?

Or did she leave at all? What if she stayed and saw how Harry acted, thinking Snape wanted to have sex with him? She couldn�t possibly believe his relationship with Snape was nonsexual after watching that display and she would�ve been angry at Snape for not telling her. If she did stay, that probably meant Draco had been there as well, and Harry�s stomach turned at the thought. He could stand many things, but not the thought of Draco watching him on his knees giving head. He quickly pushed that thought right out of his mind.

Harry thought it served Snape right to be denied straight sex. If he couldn�t get it, then Snape shouldn�t be able to get it either. Now, unless Snape improved his attitude, Harry wasn't going to give him any kind of sex. Harry figured there were two things that could possibly happen if he refused to cooperate with Snape: either Snape would rape him, or he would have to make up some excuse to tell Voldemort and explain why he hadn't performed with Harry. Since Snape insisted he despised rape, Harry expected the second scenario. He'd be able to force Snape to treat him the same as he had before what happened with the Death Eaters. It was quite a satisfactory thought and Harry was so distracted by it he didn�t notice Snape had begun the lesson until three balls bounced off his back.

�Don't waste my time, Potter. If you don�t wish to train, I have plenty of other activities I would prefer to do,� Snape haughtily informed him.

Harry quickly jumped to his feet and began to dodge. �I�m ready to train now.� Along with the spelled balls, Snape began to cast magic at him as well. Harry had become so proficient at dodging he could now avoid Snape's spells, although sometimes he needed to run into the balls' path to do it. Snape normally cast rather benign spells at Harry, but today he cast Dark Magic along with the Unforgivables. When an Avada Kedavra narrowly missed him, Harry nearly had a heart attack. When he finally caught his breath, he whirled quickly around to face Snape and fiercely shouted, �Are you trying to kill me?!�

Snape answered by shooting another Avada Kedavra at Harry�s head. Harry ducked out of the way, but Snape double-cast and the second spell hit Harry�s foot, pinning him to the floor, and he lost his balance. He recovered himself before he smacked onto the floor just in time to narrowly dodge two more Avada Kedavras. Snape caught him in the wrist with another pinning spell and he was stuck, unable to move more than a few inches either way.

Snape strode over and stood before Harry, his face an unreadable mask. He pointed his wand straight at Harry�s chest. �Avada Kedavra.�

Harry couldn�t dodge the curse at such close range and he was helpless to do anything as the green light hit him square in the chest. His heart jumped as a cool tingling sensation passed throughout his body.

�What the hell did you do?!� he gasped when he realised he was still alive.

�I was simply casting one spell whilst announcing another. It�s a well-known trick which has been used by Death Eaters in the past,� Snape lectured, an odd smile on his face. "Are you so stupid as to believe an Avada Kedavra can be double-cast?" He released Harry from his bonds.

�You�you�� Harry panted, feeling the rush of emotions he'd been too stunned to feel when he was evading the spells. Fear raged through him like a wildfire and he struggled for air, his body shaking violently.

�You actually thought I was going to kill you,� Snape stated, sounding amused.

�Of course I did!� Harry�s anger boiled over, quickly smothering his fear. He leapt to his feet and walked backwards towards the other side of the room, well away from Snape. He didn�t dare take his eyes off the sick bastard.

�Finally, your intelligence and paranoia have improved to the point where they are almost at normal level. I should give you a reward.� Snape mused while tucking his wand away.

�Don�t talk to me like that, you bastard!� Harry hissed. He'd had enough. He refused to put up with Snape's cruelty and insults any longer. There was no way he would train if Snape was going to continue to bully him like this.

Snape arched an eyebrow at him. �Potter-�

�And don�t tell me I need to be calm!� Harry forcefully interrupted. �No one in their right mind would be calm after being tied down and shot with an Avada Kedavra! What the fucking hell is wrong with you?!�

�Potter, I did not-�

�You wanted me to think you had!� He bumped into the wall and realised he was by the door leading to the carpeted hallway down to the cellar stairs. He acted as soon as he saw it, yanking it open and darting through the doorway before Snape�s spells reached the door.

�POTTER!� Snape bellowed. �GET BACK HERE!�

Harry flew down the stairs and darted through the library door, barely remembering to shut it behind him. He tore down the hallway and into the bathroom, slamming the door shut and positioning Snape�s heavy chair under the door knob. He tried to get into the potions cabinet again and when he couldn�t get it open, he tried to move it, but it was far too heavy for him to budge. He sat on top of the thick bathmat to help hold the chair in place and waited for Snape with crossed arms and fury raging savagely in his heart.

He wasn't there for long before Snape spoke from the other side of the door. �If you think this behaviour will increase my faith in your self-control and dedication, you are sorely mistaken. You must know by now you are not allowed to be out of your cage and out of my sight while unrestrained. If you don�t open this door right now, I will remove it with magic.�

The unspoken threat of what might happen to Harry should Snape be forced to open the door with magic hung in the air between them. Harry thought about making Snape use magic just to see in what way Snape would retaliate, but Harry also wanted to stand up to him as long as possible. Unfortunately he knew as soon as Snape started casting spells, there'd be no chance of a fair fight. Harry climbed to his feet and removed the chair from beneath the door knob. He opened the door and met Snape�s gaze with a calmness he didn't feel. Snape was standing with his wand out, his face a neutral mask upon seeing Harry.

�I�m going to take a shower and then I�m going to wank,� Harry coldly informed Snape in a matter of fact tone. �Either you can come watch me like a dirty pervert or you can go read or think of ways to torture people or do whatever you do when you aren�t casting Unforgivables at me.�

�Potter, I don�t want-� Snape began, but Harry interrupted him.

�That�s what you say, but you�re a fucking liar. So I�ll make it simple for you. You aren�t touching me until you stop being such a bastard,� he declared, glaring at Snape.

Snape's eyebrows drew together in anger. �And the Dark Lord will-�

�Fuck Voldemort!" yelled Harry. "I�m not letting you-�

�You are an insufferable child,� Snape spat. �Always-�

�If I'm a child, what does that make you?� Harry retorted.

Snape's face twisted in fury and he levelled his wand at Harry�s chest. �You will do as I say or I�ll-�

�Or what? You'll force me?� sneered Harry. �Use magic to make me? Drug me and do it when I can no longer stop you? You're the same as them; nothing more than a murdering rapist. I hope you weren�t planning on having children, because I�ll-�

�You insolent brat!� Snape hissed. �Do you want to be punished by the Dark Lord? Do you want me to stop training you and return to Hogwarts? Because I will, unless you stop this madness!�

"Go ahead!� Harry shouted defiantly. �Go ahead, and I�ll tell him you were training me to beat him!�

�Then you will kill us both, you idiot! All because you are too ignorant to realise when you should shut up and do as you�re told! You will obey me or I will force you to obey me!� Snape threatened as he aimed his wand at Harry's throat.

Harry bravely stood his ground, refusing to back down. �You can�t do anything without me!� Harry reminded him. �You need me to kill Voldemort!�

�You�re so pathetic I doubt you�ll even be able to do that,� sneered Snape, looming over Harry like a big, black vulture. His black eyes glittered dangerously and his lips twisted into a terrible parody of a smile. �Hopefully you will be more successful at saving the wizarding world than you were at saving your poor, dear Godfather, but I doubt that.�

Harry inhaled sharply as his stomach dropped to the floor. �SHUT UP!�

Snape ignored him, the same horrible smile stretching his thin lips thinner. �I should turn you into a mindless puppet. There wouldn�t be much difference in intelligence and then you might actually be of value to me. Your only use is as a pawn and even there you�re lacking. You aren�t even good for-�

�FUCK YOU!!� screamed Harry. He lunged forward and quickly snatched Snape�s wand from his hand, then slammed the door in Snape's face as hard as he could. Snape tried to push the door open, but Harry pressed up hard against it, not letting it open even a crack.

�Incendio!� Snape yelled and Harry barely had enough time to scramble to the other end of the bathroom as the door burst into flames. The remains of the door blasted apart and Snape stepped through wearing the same inhuman expression he had worn when he tried to strangle Harry.

Harry pointed Snape�s wand at him. �Don�t you fucking touch me!�

�Immobulus!� Snape's right arm flew forward as if his hand were a wand.

Harry tried to dodge, but the room was far too small to properly evade and he was helpless to stop the spell from hitting him. Harry�s body went limp and he dropped the wand, falling backwards onto the thick rug. He stared up at the ceiling, unable to move despite how hard he tried. He�d get Snape back for this. He�d beat him to a pulp. He�d tear him into little pieces. He�d blow him apart with the most explosive spell he could find.

He heard Snape�s harsh breathing as he felt his body being lifted by the invisible tendrils of Mobilicorpus. His head flopped back and he watched the walls as he was floated back to his cell, Snape following at his feet. Snape manoeuvred him onto the bed and laid him flat on his back. He leaned over and took hold of Harry's hands, pulling them up over his head towards the bars. Harry glared up hotly at him, but Snape did not meet his gaze as he cast chaining spells, connecting Harry�s cuffs to the bedposts, then finally stepping away.

�Finite Incantatem,� he finally muttered, freeing Harry from Immobulus.

Harry twisted to glare daggers at him. �YOU BASTARD! I�M-�

�Silencio!� Snape clutched his wand so tightly his knuckles were white. Harry hoped that he had scared the arsehole. �Now,� Snape bit out his words as if they were large and unwieldy. �I will leave you there until lunch time. If you have not calmed by then, I will not release you. If you have grown more belligerent, I will lock you in the cupboard until you have calmed down. I do not care if I have to leave you there for days. Is that understood?�

Harry mouthed �fuck you� at him as he flipped up his middle finger on the hand closest to Snape.

Snape marched over and Harry kicked at him. Snape cast Immobulus and grabbed the hair on top of Harry�s head. His fingers yanked roughly on Harry's hair and he pressed his wand against Harry�s neck, digging the tip into his skin. He bent his head down, his face closer than Harry had ever seen it while sober. His thin lips were pulled back, baring his crooked, yellow teeth and his black eyes glittered with contempt and malice, their darkness only amplified by the sallowness of his skin. �Do. Not. Test. Me. What has happened to you so far will seem like Paradise compared to what I will do to you if you continue to contest my authority. I know of a myriad of ways to torture you without alerting the Dark Lord to your pain. You will beg for forgiveness well before I have finished with you. Believe me Potter, when I do torture you, I will enjoy it more than you will ever know.�

For one terrifying moment, Harry completely froze, staring up at Snape with wide eyes. The feral glint he saw in Snape's eyes unnerved him and when Snape shifted slightly as if to climb onto the bed, Harry's heart seemed to leap out of his chest. However, Snape merely released Harry's hair and stormed off, slamming the library door behind him.

Left under Immobulus, Harry could do nothing but stare at the ceiling, imagining all the ways in which he would kill Snape. When the spell finally wore off, he rearranged himself as best he could, annoyed at the chains that bound him to the bed. How had things gone from bad to worse in just a few short days? Did Snape really mean to carry out his threat? Harry was tempted to continue and push Snape just to see how far he could go before he was punished, but he needed to train and he couldn't very well do that if he was locked in the cupboard for days.

Harry was still seething when Snape returned a few hours later, but he wiped all trace of emotion from his face as best he could and met Snape�s gaze with cool indifference. Snape apparently believed that Harry's demeanour reflected his inner emotions, because he removed the chains as he stepped in through the bars. Harry remained curled up in the corner of his bed.
Snape procured lunch and then tucked his wand away. He regarded Harry silently while Harry watched him back.

�After you have eaten your lunch, I will train you again,� Snape informed him evenly.

Even though Harry wanted to train, his rage spiked at those words. Did Snape seriously think he could order Harry around after that little speech he gave? He narrowed his eyes at Snape and suspiciously stated, �I�m not eating or drinking anything until you swear to me you haven�t put potions in any of it.�

His eyes locked on Harry's, Snape picked up the cup and took a sip. He then stepped close to the bed and offered it. �There are no potions in your food; I have no reason to drug you.�

�Of course you do,� Harry testily replied. �You�ll put potions in my food and then rape me again.�

Snape�s face contorted into an expression of extreme rage and he threw the cup of pumpkin juice at Harry. The cup bounced harmlessly off Harry�s shoulder, the juice splashing all over his face, down his chest, and spattering the sheets. Harry was too shocked to do anything but sputter for a moment before he recovered and launched himself at Snape.

�Immobulus!� Snape cast and Harry landed flat on the bed.

Snape stomped out, releasing Harry from Immobulus as he passed through the library door.

�COWARD!� Harry flew to the bars. �FIGHT ME LIKE A MAN!�

Harry nearly slammed his fist against the bars in rage but restrained himself. Angrily striding over to the bed, he stripped the mattress, threw the wet sheets outside his cell into the hallway, and then stepped over to the sink and bathed, removing all trace of pumpkin juice. When Harry finished, he sat down to eat his lunch. If Snape had tainted it, he'd rip off the bastard�s balls.

Snape had made him the delicious chicken stew he preferred, along with apple crumble and ice cream for dessert. Harry ate slowly, savouring the tastes and textures of each dish. Eating calmed him and by the time he finished his meal, he was no longer as agitated as he had been before.

Harry knew he'd acted childishly in threatening to go to Voldemort. It was only something he said, because he was extremely angry at the time. He also knew he needed to perform if he wanted to maintain the charade; there was no way around it. While he despised the way Snape was treating him, being immature wouldn't help either of them. Even if Snape was acting like a complete dick, it didn't mean Harry should stoop to Snape's level. He�d deal with the bastard in the same way he dealt with the Death Eaters. He�d push down his revulsion and disgust and allow Snape to do whatever was necessary. Snape had never been cruel during sex, so it shouldn�t be too difficult. After he was free he'd pay Snape back tenfold, but for now, he'd be mature and do whatever was required of him to defeat Voldemort.

Harry finished his meal and then read until Snape arrived many hours later.

Snape wordlessly picked up the laundry and sent it down the hall. He opened the bars for Harry. �You probably want a bath.�

Harry put the book away and got to his feet. �Yeah, I do.� He slipped out of the cell, avoiding Snape as he made his way down to the bathroom, which was still missing a door. As Harry was taking his shower, he noticed that Snape remained outside the bathroom. Harry leisurely finished showering, dried himself off and stepped out into the hallway, wrapping the towel around his waist.

Snape was in his cell, replacing the bed sheets. Harry stepped through the bars, again staying well away from the git as he slowly walked over towards his chair. When Harry was finally seated, Snape spelled dinner on the table for him.

Harry sat down and bit into his roast. He focused on his meal rather than on Snape who checked Harry�s toiletries and, after seeing that everything was in order, took his own chair.

�Have you finished The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe yet?� Snape asked casually.

Harry blinked. Of all the things he expected Snape to say, that had to be the last. �No, but I�ll be finished with it soon.�

�What do you think of it?� Snape continued as if they hadn�t spent all day shouting at each other. Harry wished he had his glasses so he could see Snape�s face clearly, but he assumed the greasy git had finally decided to treat him decently again.

�Aslan just returned to life which I thought was kind of dumb,� Harry answered in an equally even tone.

�Why?� Snape summoned tea for himself.

�Well, they make a big deal out of the fact that he's sacrificing himself to save Edmund�s life, but he doesn�t actually die for Edmund. If Aslan knew he was going to come back to life, then he didn�t really sacrifice himself,� Harry pointed out. �I hate it when people die and then come back to life in books. It doesn�t work that way in real life. Even in the wizarding world, when people die they stay dead.�

Snape regarded him evenly. �The story was written as an allegory with Aslan representing Christ. It is yet another example of the ultimate heroic ideal � the sacrificial hero.�

�You don�t think much of heroism, do you?� Harry asked.

�A lot of what you would deem heroism or bravery I consider stupidity,� Snape explained. �Think about your own situation. I am sure there are some who expect you to challenge the Dark Lord at the first opportunity available to you. You did so, initially, and received nothing for it but torture that nearly drove you out of your mind. Your current strategy is to bide your time and rely on manipulation and deceit until the perfect opportunity presents itself. This plan may be less desirable to you based on the ridiculous notions of fairness and courage to which you Gryffindors seem to cling; however, it has kept you alive and relatively free of harm.�

�Free of harm?� Harry asked incredulously, nearly choking on his pumpkin juice. �I�d hate to see what you think would be harmful if you think I�m free of it.�

�Relatively,� stressed Snape. �You�ve been held prisoner for several months. You could have been broken. You could have been locked in the cupboard continuously and only allowed out for necessities. You could have been drugged until you-�

�Okay, okay, I get the point.� Harry stabbed at the roast with his spoon harder than he intended and a piece of it went flying off his plate, landing on the floor. Snape sent it away with a flick of his wand.

�I know you plan to go before the Dark Lord and give your life for the wizarding world if necessary, but you must consider-�

�I�m going to defeat him and that�s final,� Harry interrupted firmly.

�I wasn�t suggesting that you wouldn�t go before him,� Snape assured him smoothly. �If the Dark Lord had not targeted you, you would still do everything in your power to fight him, would you not?�

�Of course.�

�I simply wonder what it is about the wizarding world that compels you to give your life for it if it should be required.�

Snape had to be playing dumb. There was no way he hadn�t figured this out already. �For my friends,� Harry answered easily. �If he isn�t destroyed he's going to kill more people like my mum and dad.�

�And if he promised not to harm your friends or family anymore?� Snape persisted.

Harry frowned at him. He couldn�t understand what Snape was driving at with his comments. �He�s a liar. He�d kill them as soon as they stepped out of hiding. Why are you even asking? If you are trying to convince me to join Voldemort it isn�t going to work.�

�Of course not.� Snape sent away his tea. �I merely want you to think about your actions and what they will entail for you since you seem insistent on following your heart rather than your head.�

�If I didn�t listen to my heart, I�d turn into him.� Harry finished his roast and started on his cr�me br�l�e.

"To try for a little more consideration in every action you take, does not mean ignoring your heart." Snape said as he watched Harry eat. "It won't hurt you to think before you act."

�I do think,� Harry insisted. �Just because I don�t reach the same conclusions as you, doesn�t mean I don�t.�

�You thought before you grabbed my wand and locked yourself in the bathroom?� Snape�s eyebrow shot up near his hairline.

Harry gripped the bowl so tightly it began to crumble. �If Voldemort shoots Avada Kedavras at me, then I am going to get angry. If you think that means I'm reckless, then I guess I always will be.�

�It wasn�t the first time I have cast Dark Magic in your presence.� Snape pointed out.

�No, but you weren't acting like a complete arsehole then either.� Harry finished his cr�me br�l�e and set the empty dish aside with the others.

His face a mask, Snape cleared all of the dishes away with a flick of his wand and folded his hands on the table. �We must perform tonight. The Dark Lord will expect it and I�ve worked too long on this plan to allow you to destroy it. Either you will perform as expected or I will give you the drug and take you after your resistance has faded.� He reached into his robes and removed the vial that contained the sex potion, placing it on the table in front of him.

Harry stared at the potion, completely mesmerised. He'd forgotten about the potion, but memories of how happy and wonderful he felt when he took it quickly resurfaced. He desperately wanted to feel once again the euphoria the drug gave him, even though logically he knew he shouldn't. His strong desire for the potion was dangerous, but right now he wanted it more than anything. He knew he should simply submit to the greater forces in his life and let Snape do whatever he had to do, because it was necessary, but... he could also enjoy what was about to happen. He could lose himself in ecstasy and forget the horror his life had become. He deserved some happiness in the midst of this Hell. Just to taste it one more time wouldn't hurt him. Just this once. As if by their own free will, his fingers slid across the table towards the bottle.

Snape quickly snatched the potion away. �There are rules you must agree to before I will let you take it,� Snape said firmly. �This will be the last time I offer you this potion. Any more ill behaviour on your part will result in me tying you up and using force on future. I don�t wish to do it, but I will if it is required. If you want this potion, then you must promise to never threaten to refuse to perform ever again.�

�I promise,� Harry answered quickly, his eyes fixed on the small, blood red bottle. He wanted it badly now. He needed it.

�The second rule,� Snape continued, �is that you must play your part perfectly. I will give you a very small dosage to prevent you from losing complete control over your words. You claim to be able to perform perfectly before the Dark Lord. Imagine he is observing us if you must, but do not mess this up.�

Harry shuddered; the last thing he wanted to think about right now was that scaly old pervert. �I�ll take the potion and you won�t have to worry about a thing,� he agreed. �But you have to get undressed; it's strange you want to wear clothes during sex.� If he had to perform tonight, he wasn't going to let Snape have the final word in everything that was going to happen between them.

�I wasn�t planning on it.� Snape stood up and approached Harry.

�Wait.� Harry pushed back his chair. �Give it to me right before we begin, I don�t want it to wear off in the middle.�

Snape nodded and placed the potion down on the table. He began to undo his outer robe and Harry slid onto his bed, facing the wall while he waited for Snape to finish undressing. After several minutes, he heard the chair moving and turned to see Snape pulling the chair over to the side of the bed. Snape was completely naked, his clothes folded and draped neatly over the chair. The potion and the lube rested on the part of the seat closest to the bed. When Snape climbed onto the bed, Harry noticed he was flaccid. He'd never seen Snape completely flaccid before and it was an odd sight, so he focused on Snape�s face instead. Snape wore his neutral expression as he picked up the bottle and opened it for Harry.

�Open your mouth.�

Harry leaned forward, opening his mouth and Snape carefully poured some of the potion inside. He then stoppered the bottle and turned away to set the potion back down on the chair. Harry swallowed most of what he'd been given but left a small amount at the tip of his tongue. He rolled over onto his stomach, propping his upper body up on his elbows.

Snape shifted on the bed behind him and placed his cold hands on Harry�s upper back. He slowly slid them around Harry�s torso until he captured Harry�s nipples in his fingers. They hardened at his touch and he followed the motions Harry knew so well, but his movements were stiff and robotic. Harry hated it. He pulled away from Snape's touch and sat up, turning around to face him.

Snape appeared surprised to find Harry suddenly looking at him. His eyebrows drew in towards each other and he opened his mouth to speak. �If-�

Harry launched himself at Snape and grabbed hold of the other wizard's shoulders. He pressed his mouth against Snape's lips, thrusting his tongue inside and pushing what liquid remained in his mouth with it. Harry pretended he simply wanted to kiss Snape and closed his eyes as he explored Snape�s mouth with his tongue. Snape tasted like his tea and potions lab, a slightly bitter mix of earth and herbs and something else Harry couldn�t quite identify. Snape was as stiff as a statue when Harry first began to kiss him, but he soon unfroze and started to kiss back, his tongue demanding entrance into Harry�s mouth. Snape's kisses were terribly awkward and nothing like the sweet, soft kisses Harry had shared with Ginny. Snape's mouth was far too wet and his huge nose kept getting in the way.

Snape slowly slid his hand up Harry�s back, letting it come to rest between Harry's shoulder blades, and gently pulled him down on the bed. Harry relaxed his body and let himself be manoeuvred to lie flat on his back. He released Snape�s shoulders and lay against the sheets, hoping the potion would soon take effect on both of them. Snape kissed Harry's neck, and then began mouthing and licking his way downward, his hair lightly brushing over Harry's collarbone. Harry waited impatiently for him to move on, but when Snape still hadn't progressed any further, Harry opened his eyes and raised his head to see why it was taking so long. When he did, he was caught by surprise. He saw Snape�s left arm working rhythmically, his hand hidden from view.

He'd never seen Snape wank before; he never needed to in Harry�s presence. Snape really didn�t want to have sex with him; he hadn�t been lying when he said he didn�t want to touch him. The knowledge that he wasn�t wanted anymore made Harry feel hollow and empty inside. He waited for the potion to take effect, to fill him with happiness and euphoria, to take away his loneliness. Finally, warmth spread throughout his body and he relaxed against the sheets. Snape�s kisses no longer annoyed him and he arched up towards Snape's teasing lips and tongue. Wanting to be touched and caressed more, Harry shifted his chest to get Snape to mouth his nipples. Snape figured out what he wanted and moved his head over to one of Harry's eager nubs, flickering his tongue over one pink peak before he closed his lips around it and sucked. Harry cried out in pleasure and nearly arched off the bed as the potion fully kicked in. It felt so fucking good. Snape used both his hands to hold Harry down as he began to intensely tease the sensitive nub.

�Oh god.� Harry's penis quickly filled and he stroked his hands over every part of Snape that he could reach. He marvelled at the silky sensation of Snape�s hair sliding through his fingers and would�ve played with it for hours if Snape hadn�t sat up. He captured Harry�s cuffs and pressed his hands together, securely wrapping his hand around Harry�s fingers, capturing two from each hand in his own. He pushed Harry�s hands above his head and against the bed.

�Don�t make me tie you up,� Snape growled as he returned his mouth to Harry�s chest to lightly bite Harry�s nipple. Harry shivered at the intensity of his voice. Snape�s mouth was working magic on his nipple, but he really wanted Snape to take his cock in his mouth instead. His erection was so thick and heavy, it desperately needed to be sucked and pulled into Snape's hot, wet mouth. Harry spread his legs wide, trying to get Snape to move his mouth down his body.

�Down, down.� He urged, trying to pull his trapped hands out of Snape�s tight hold. Snape slid his free hand down Harry�s chest and stomach but lifted it before he touched his swollen and red organ. Harry sucked in his breath, trying to raise his hips to rub his cock against Snape. Snape returned his hand to Harry�s right inner thigh and slid his way down until he touched Harry�s entrance. Harry felt the cleaning spell ripple through him. �No, no.� He shook his head. �Not until you�re nice to me.�

�I am being nice,� Snape whispered, sending delicious shivers racing over Harry's skin. Snape then slowly slid his hand up and softly stroked Harry�s dick twice.

Harry cried out with longing, his whole body shaking from the promise of what was to come. �That�s nice,� he gasped.

Snape released him and retrieved the lube from the chair. Harry saw the sex potion perched on the edge of the chair and wanted more. The small amount he'd been given wasn�t nearly enough. He enjoyed being touched, but his thoughts weren�t running away from him like they normally did when he took the potion. He wanted to lose himself completely, to be mindless with ecstasy. He scrambled to the edge of the bed and reached out to grab it, but Snape quickly snatched it up.

�I want more! Give me more!� pleaded Harry, throwing himself in Snape's lap and trying to crawl up him to grab the potion as if he were a tree.

�No,� answered Snape firmly as the bottle vanished from his hand. He grabbed Harry�s cuffs and shoved him backwards onto the mattress, pinning him down against the sheets. He once again pushed Harry's hands above his head against the bed. �You�ve had more than enough,� Snape declared before releasing Harry�s hands and shifting to the side. Harry tried to touch him, but his hands couldn't move very far and he twisted his head back to discover he'd been chained to the bed posts.

�No � don�t tie me.� He tugged on the chains, trying to escape. Snape said he would tie him down and force him if he didn't play his part. He didn�t want to be raped! He arched his back and tried to pull away, panic growing. �I hate it! Don�t tie me!�

�Shut up or I�ll gag you,� Snape hissed. He placed his hand on Harry�s right leg above the knee and began to slide it up.

�Nooooo!� Harry kneed Snape with his left leg and tried to twist away from Snape�s grasp. Not rape. Not rape. Anything but that. �Untie me!�

Snape climbed on top of him, pinning Harry's legs down with the weight of his body. "Langlock."

Harry squeezed his eyes tightly shut and tried to scream, but his trapped tongue turned the scream into a wail.

Snape grabbed Harry's chin and admonished him, �You said you would behave. If you can�t do this, I will stop now and begin again after you have calmed. Will you behave?� He released Harry's tongue.

�I�ll do it. I�ll do it,� Harry insisted, gulping for air. �Don�t tie me. Please. I�ll do it.�

He was released from his bonds and he reached for Snape as the other wizard moved off him to sit by his side. Snape caught his hands and pressed them together closing his left hand around Harry�s fingers, trapping them again in front of Harry's chest. Harry wanted to touch Snape, but it was better than being tied, it was almost like holding hands. He stroked Snape�s hand with his free fingers as Snape curled his other hand around Harry�s right leg and pulled him closer. Snape opened the lube with a spell and ran his hand soothingly over Harry's inner thighs. Harry relaxed against the bed and willingly spread open his legs. Snape had his feet on the bed near Harry�s head and Harry stared at them in fascination. He'd never seen Snape�s feet up so close before. They were lightly haired with unusually long toes topped with yellowed toenails.

Snape pushed a finger inside of him and he threw back his head, moaning with pleasure. Snape wouldn�t hurt him now. A second finger joined the first and they both began to plunge in and out vigorously, rubbing over that special spot deep inside. Harry cried out and thrust his arse hungrily towards those invading fingers, wanting more.

�Fuck me,� he begged; desperate for orgasm. He wanted to lose himself in ecstasy. �Fuck me!�

Snape released his hands and positioned Harry on his hands and knees. Harry spread his legs and clenched the sheets tightly in his fists. Snape grabbed his hip and slowly pressed himself inside, his thick heat spreading Harry open bit by bit. Harry was impatient to orgasm and thrust back against him, impaling himself in one hard stroke. Snape curled his fingers tightly around Harry�s hips and began to forcefully pound into him.

�FUCK!� Harry could do nothing but grab the sheets and scream with pleasure as Snape made him forget everything but how fucking amazing it was to be fucked like that. He couldn�t think of anything but how close he was and how desperately he wanted release; all the tension in his body flowing straight to his abdomen.

The potion made him weak and he had trouble keeping himself upright. Snape pressed a splayed hand against his chest, holding him up as he continued to plunge deeply into Harry's arse. Harry pressed his own hand over Snape�s fingers, comforted by the closeness that such a small gesture gave him.

�Touch yourself.� The thunder rolled over him and he almost lost it then. �Bring yourself to orgasm.�

Harry immediately shot his hand down and wrapped his fingers around his heavy dick. He stroked himself strongly in time to Snape�s thrusts, his balls tight against his groin as he pulled his foreskin up over his swollen head once, twice, three times, and then the dam inside him shattered. Euphoria filled him and all his tension, hate, and fear flowed away as his spunk shot out his dick. He gasped, his breath caught in his throat, as he came and came and it seemed as though every fluid inside him was emptying out onto the sheets. His body went limp from his intense release and he could do nothing but shiver with the aftershocks as Snape held him in place. Snape continued thrusting into him a short while longer before he too came, a soft noise escaping his throat, his hand still pressing Harry tightly against his chest. After Snape�s hips finished jerking, he gently laid Harry down on the sheets and carefully removed himself.

�Accio wand,� he gasped, his breath still quick. Harry felt the cleaning spells pulse through and across him. Snape set the wand back down on the chair and picked up his y-fronts.

�No, stay with me,� Harry sat up and grabbed his arm, trying to pull Snape back down on the bed with him. He couldn't bear the thought of watching Snape leave knowing there would be more days of arguing and threats. He needed to fix things somehow. He needed to bring back the Snape who read him poetry and held him tenderly -- not this cruel impostor who seemed determined to tear Harry to shreds.

�You are still under the effect of the potion,� Snape pried off his hands. �You will hate me once you return to your normal self.�

�I don�t hate you now,� Harry assured him. "Even though you are being an utter bastard."

Snape turned from him and stepped away from the bed.

Harry�s chest hurt at Snape's rejection. He crossed his arms over his torso, trying to hold in his pain. �Why do you hate me now?�

�Hate you now?� Snape asked, his back to Harry as he stepped into his trousers.

�You wanted to rape me instead of being nice to me,� Harry miserably reminded him.

�I didn�t want to rape you,� Snape said tersely, his back tense. �I never have.�

�Then why couldn�t you just have sex with me?�

�What are you talking about?� Snape turned around and frowned at him.

�You were going to tie me down and rape me. You almost did. You could�ve been nice and then I would�ve had sex with you, but instead you said if I didn�t do exactly what you wanted you�d rape me. Why did you want rape over sex?�

�Lack of overt force does not create consent,� Snape responded, the line between his eyebrows dark. �Every time that I�ve � had intercourse with you has been rape. The potion-�

�No, it hasn�t.� Harry shook his head. �I mean, you�re not the sort of person I�d want to have sex with. Your nose is too big, your teeth are yellow and crooked, and your toes are way too long.� Snape looked at his feet. �And lately you've been a complete arsehole. I also know you wouldn�t choose to have sex with me if you could. Maybe you think I�m repulsive in addition to not liking blokes either. But � you liked it. I liked it. All you had to do was treat me with respect and I would�ve had sex with you and we could've both enjoyed it, but you refused and you said you�d rape me instead. Even now you still won�t touch me like you used to touch me before. You said you'd enjoy torturing me! Why do you hate me so much now?�

Snape did not answer for a while and Harry wondered if he'd even been paying attention. Finally, Snape spoke while still looking at his feet, his hair covering his face. �I don�t think you are repulsive.�

�Huh?� Harry stared at him.

Snape tilted his head to gaze at him. �To quote Billy Budd, you are a �fine specimen of the genus Homo.��

�Are you calling me gay?� Harry frowned at him.

Snape stared at him for a moment. Finally, the corner of his mouth twitched up in a smile. �You really are stupid,� he said with far more amusement than malice.

�Don�t call me stupid,� Harry protested, confused by Snape�s sudden transformation from coldness to warmth.

Snape stepped over to the bed. �Come here.� He motioned with his hand, his voice warmer than it had been for some time.

Even though he didn't understand the reasons for it, Harry was delighted to crack the cold exterior and reach the Snape who had been hidden for too long. That was enough for Harry, for now. He crawled over to the edge of the bed, gazing up at Snape expectantly. Snape placed his hands on the back of Harry�s head and pulled him up to a kneeling position. For a moment, Harry thought Snape meant to kiss him, but he did not bend down his head. He stared into Harry�s eyes and Harry drowned in his, losing himself in those black, black pools; now warm instead of frozen.

�You are still under the effects of the drug," Snape observed, his fingers stroking through Harry's hair. "Either my new recipe makes it more effective than I anticipated or you lost your high tolerance.�

Harry wrapped his hands around Snape�s forearms and pulled his head back, tugging Snape onto the bed with him. Snape finally relented and climbed onto the bed, lying down beside Harry, his fingers lightly stroking Harry's left arm. �I suppose I should stay here and wait until the drug has worn off in case you do something incredibly stupid as is your natural inclination.�

Snape's tone was light despite his words and Harry snuggled against him, pressing his head against Snape�s chest and entwining his legs with Snape�s. �You should sleep with me,� he murmured, enjoying the warmth of Snape�s body which soaked into his own. He stroked Snape�s chest lightly, delighting in the feel of skin surrounding him.

�This bed is far too small for that,� Snape complained grumpily.

�Then let�s do it in your bed next time,� Harry suggested with a yawn. All the anger and hate that had been burning inside him seemed so very far away now, as if it belonged to someone else. He listened to Snape�s heart beating hard against his chest and the sound was relaxing and calming. He realised then that he missed this closeness more than the orgasms, more even than the potion. This was what he really wanted right now -- what he desperately needed. The recognition of that surprised him, but he knew in his heart it was true and there was no sense trying to fight it.

A very distant part of his brain said, �He doesn�t love you. He's a heartless bastard who will destroy you.� Harry acknowledged the thought, and then chose to ignore it. Forgiveness would have to come later, if Snape deserved it. For now, there was nothing wrong with pretending Snape cared for him, right? Just for the night. In the morning, they would go back to hating each other and fighting, Snape being his usual cruel self and Harry battling for respect, but for now he�d have what he wanted more than anything else in the world. Tonight he wouldn't be lonely anymore. Tonight he'd let himself feel protected and safe; and yes, even loved.

Harry drifted peacefully off to sleep; lulled by the calming sound of Snape�s heart beat.

[[I wrote this chapter while listening to Patty Griffin's Rain which I think really sums up where Harry is at the end of this chapter. It's a beautiful song and you can find it on youtube. Please review!]]
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Nights of Gethsemane