Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

Practicing Liars	By : Lomonaaeren Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Draco Views: 63258 -:- Recommendations : 2 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter and I am not making any money from this story.

Chapter List
- 41
- 42
- 43
Thank you again for all the reviews!

Chapter Forty-Two�The
Revelation of Emotions

�� Harry
opened his eyes slowly. He was lying on a bed, he knew that from the softness
beneath him, but he couldn�t hear the familiar grumbling and sighing he should
have been able to hear from his roommates. That told him he couldn�t be in
Gryffindor Tower.

�� Unless I slept late and everyone else is in
the Great Hall already, Harry thought, and gave a long, deep yawn as he sat
up in bed and reached for his glasses.

�� Are you
well?�

�� Startled,
Harry turned towards the sound, blinking all the while. His sight was so furry
without his glasses that it took him a minute to connect the sight of a black
blob with the voice. Snape was right next to him, and he seemed to be the one
who had brought Harry to this place. Looking around, Harry could see enough
stone to know this really wasn�t his room at Gryffindor Tower, which looked
more cheerful.

�� Er, I
think so?� Harry stretched out his arm sand felt lingering twinges. He wondered
what he�d been doing to make him feel like that, and why Snape was concerned
instead of scolding him for taking chances with his life.

�� Then he
remembered what he had been through.

�� Harry
clamped his teeth together to keep from whimpering. The memory of the pain was
nearly as bad as the pain had been. He really thought he would be ripped apart
that time, with no reprieve.

�� But he
hadn�t been. Which meant he should stop shaking and acting as though he hadn�t
survived.

�� I�ll be
fine,� he said.

�� Snape held
something out. Harry felt the round edges of his glasses and took them
gratefully, sliding them onto his face. That brought the room into focus, and
he realized he was in a single bed with pillows so thick that he didn�t know
how he hadn�t drowned in them and sleek dark sheets. The walls were all stone,
except for the torch sconces. Apparently, Snape didn�t think that he should
hang tapestries on the walls to soften them.

�� And
apparently Snape didn�t want to leave him to look at his surroundings in peace.

�� What do
you remember?� he insisted, and extended a Potions vial. Harry took it
reluctantly, trying to ignore the temptation to hold his nose as he gulped it
down. It was a blue potion he didn�t recognize, and it stopped the twinges in his
muscles. He nodded his thanks to Snape before he tried to answer his question.

�� The pain.�
The words stuck in Harry�s throat, and he coughed. You�re getting over it. And the Horcrux is gone�I think. �Did the
potion work?� he demanded suddenly, shuddering when he thought of what might
happen if the answer was �no.�

�� Snape put a
hand on his shoulder. Harry wondered where he could want to guide Harry when he
was in bed, and then realized that Snape was practically stroking him, his palm
flat, the motion soothing. Harry blinked and stared at him. If he stretched his
imagination, he supposed he could imagine that Snape was capable of such
gestures, but he wouldn�t have been able to imagine that Snape would want to make them.

�� It did,�
Snape said, and his voice was deep and, in its own way, as soothing as the
stroke of his hand. �I would have told you right away if it had not.�

�� Harry
closed his eyes and nodded. He had expected to feel a sense of enormous freedom
when his burden was gone, but he didn�t. Maybe that would have to wait until he
had more time to absorb the news of the potion�s actually working.

�� Thank you,
sir,� he said. He started to swing his legs towards the edge of the bed. He
should probably go back to Gryffindor Tower and reassure Ron and Hermione, he
thought, since there was no way Snape would have permitted them to come into
his private quarters. And where was Draco? If anyone would have accompanied him
besides Snape, surely it would be Draco.

�� Snape
immediately pressed him backwards into the pillows again, hand acting in a much
more familiar way, and scowled at him. �Where are you going?�

�� Harry
blinked at him. �Back to Gryffindor Tower. Or to wherever Draco is right now.
Camped outside the door, maybe?� he added, cocking his head so that he could
look towards the place where the door must be. �My friends must be worried
about me.�

�� Snape
leaned so close that Harry had no choice but to become acquainted with every
line of his scowl. �And have you not thought that I must be worried about you?� he snapped.

�� Er,� Harry
said, and blinked, caught off-guard and trying to decide exactly what Snape
meant. �Of course. But you took care of me, and I seem to be all right, with no
aftereffects from the potion, so what�s the matter?�

�� Snape
closed his eyes and sat there for a minute, not doing anything but breathing,
as if that would help him summon up patience to deal with a problem. Harry
watched him, feeling his irritation build by the second. He�d been polite to
Snape, and he�d asked him for help lately, and he might even have saved his
life when Cravens was trying to escape. Harry didn�t know what else Snape wanted.

�� You were
in pain,� Snape said at last, looking at Harry again. �Such pain as it is not
easy to contemplate, and which I expect to haunt your nightmares.�

�� Harry
rolled his eyes. �Like that hasn�t
happened before,� he said. �Voldemort gives me nightmares all the time.�

�� This is
different,� Snape said, and both his hands were on Harry�s shoulders now. �This
is pain that I myself inflicted on you��

�� Because I
asked for it.� Harry stared at him. �You�re not blaming yourself for that, are you? That�s stupid! It�s just
what we had to do to get rid of the Horcrux.�

�� Nonetheless,�
Snape said, and his eyes had a peculiar gleam that made Harry suspect he�d
better tread carefully, �I still hurt my
child, and I would like you to remain in bed until I am absolutely certain nothing is wrong with you.�

�� Harry
blinked again. The conviction in Snape�s voice was firm enough, but Harry still
didn�t quite see the reason behind it.

�� You gave
me that potion that cleared up the lingering pain,� he said slowly, studying
Snape and hoping that he would nod and lean back and do things that made sense.
�So nothing hurts now. And I told you, I�m used to the nightmares. So what�s
the matter? Did something else happen while I was fighting the Entwining Potion
that you haven�t told me about? Something that affected you?�

�� Snape
closed his eyes and said nothing for long moments. His hands remained in place,
though, so Harry decided it would be rude to shrug them off and go away.

�� Besides, he
was curious.

�� The aches
will return,� Snape said softly. �That potion is only temporary, and you should
be watched over until we are sure that
you will not suffer seizures or severe headaches later.� He opened his eyes,
and Harry winced. There was blended anger and pain in Snape�s gaze, and he
didn�t think it fair that Snape should have to suffer all that over him.

�� And I had
to watch you,� Snape said, �writhing in that chair while trying to control that
writhing, screaming as though there was a rack in the room that only you could
see and feel. I tried to speak soothing words to you, explain what was
happening and how sorry I was for it, but of course you couldn�t hear me.
That�struck me, damaged me, in a way that I cannot explain. I only knew that I
had to take you away after that and put you in a room where I could watch over
you and be sure that no more harm would come to you.�

�� Harry could
envision what Snape said, all too well. He reached up and hesitantly squeezed
one of Snape�s hands where it held his shoulder.

�� Is this
another part of you valuing blood family?� he asked. �It doesn�t matter that I
agreed to take the potion and that there was no other way to get rid of the
Horcrux, because you still had to watch me suffer?�

�� Yes,�
Snape said, with a shrill breath of relief that told Harry how relieved Snape
was that he understood. �I could watch you undergo torture for the good of the
world, torture that you had chosen, and I would still be distressed. I have had
the experience already of watching you fight down your pain and smile because
it was what others would expect to see, and that hurt me.� His voice stuck on
the last words, but Harry understood. He knew how hard it would have been for
him to say that to someone himself. �You have been a symbol and a slave and a
pawn for the wizarding world and the Headmaster.� His words chilled then, and
his fingers bit into Harry�s shoulders until Harry shifted uneasily. Snape at
once loosened his grip and nodded as though Harry had made his protest aloud.
�That angered me. I would fight for your freedom for pain, your freedom to make
your own decisions, and even your freedom to conceal your secrets. I would have
fought for your right to undergo torture by the Entwining Potion, if someone
else had opposed it.�

�� He stared
into Harry�s eyes. �But it is still hard to watch this happen to you.�

�� Because
I�ve endured so much,� Harry said carefully, to make sure he understood, �and
you don�t want me to endure more.�

�� Because I
care for you,� Snape said fiercely, �and no one should be forced to watch
someone he cares for suffer, whether that suffering is freely chosen or not.�

�� Harry
wanted to flinch and cower against the wall. It would have been easier to do
that than to deal with the emotion in Snape�s words, and Snape would probably
have let him go, apologized for hurting him, and left him to think it over. And
then Harry could bury what he had felt just now deep and pretend that it had
never happened.

�� Snape would
probably do even that for him, if Harry wanted him to.

�� And because
that was different, because he�d never had an adult who sincerely cared about
not hurting him and letting him do what he wanted so close before, Harry
decided that he wouldn�t force Snape to do that. He could have. He had the option. That was reason enough not to.

�� He
carefully lifted his head and studied Snape�s face. �All right,� he said.
�I�can understand that.� He paused, then added, �And I don�t want you to suffer
either. So don�t get captured by Voldemort, all right? Because he would
probably make me watch while he tortured you. If he knew about the link between
us.�

�� Snape�s
face worked. Harry didn�t know if he was trying to say something or just
struggling with his emotions. Then he flattened out his hands and went back to
stroking Harry�s shoulders once more.

�� You shall
not regret this,� he said, so fervently that Harry almost winced again. That
sounded like an oath, and he didn�t want to think Snape was binding himself to
a promise, for Harry�s sake, that he wouldn�t be able to keep. �This is a
change for me, but it will be a change that endures.�

�� Harry
nodded. �All right,� he said again. He stared at his own hands, and realized
that he didn�t have the slightest idea of what was supposed to happen next. He
sneaked a glance at Snape, but Snape just went on watching him fiercely. �D�you
want me to stay in bed, then?� Harry mumbled. �Are you going to treat me the
way Aunt Petunia treated Dudley when he was sick?� It was the only standard he
had for how you were supposed to act after you�d gone through something an
adult considered horrific. Madam Pomfrey had always made him stay in bed in the
hospital wing, too, but at least she let him leave when she decided he was
fine.

�� Certainly
not,� said Snape, curling his lip. �From what I know of her, she would have
treated him as if he was incapable of doing anything for himself, and I shall
certainly expect you to feed yourself and get to the bathroom on your own.�

�� Harry gave
him an odd look; he knew it was odd, and he couldn�t help it. �But what about
doing homework?� he asked. �I mean, what should I be doing when I�m in bed?�

�� Resting,�
said Snape, with the kind of finality that made Harry think of some fantasies
he�d had of what a bad parent Snape would be. �Eating when I bring you food.
Drinking potions when I tell you to.� He raised one hand, though Harry hadn�t
mustered any protest except a single glance of outrage. �Nothing more than
that. You are to recover your strength, and excessive activity will not permit
you to do that. I will carry any message to your friends that you wish me to in
the meantime.�

�� But��
Harry let his voice trail off when he saw the way Snape stared at him. �It�s
just that I usually do something when I�m in the hospital wing,� he tried to
explain. �Homework or reading�� he wondered if Hermione would tell Snape about
how little he read, except books on Quidditch ��or, or something like that. It
feels lazy not to do anything.�

�� Rest,�
said Snape, with that same finality, and swept to the door.

�� Won�t it
look strange if someone finds out that I�m in the dungeons?� Harry called after
him, in a last-ditch effort to make this make sense.

�� I will
tell those who are curious that you injured yourself in detention with me,�
Snape said, and shut the door.

�� Harry
blinked and lay down.

�� The pillows
were comfortable, he had to admit. It wasn�t as though he couldn�t sleep.

�� But the
restlessness gnawed the back of his mind, urging him to get up and move, to do something to relieve the
boredom that would come any minute, and telling him that he didn�t have to
listen to Snape.

�� Except I kind of promised to, when I said
that I understood and I cared about him, Harry decided, and shut his eyes.

�� The
restlessness faded as he thought about it. He had Snape�s permission to laze around and go to sleep. How often was that going
to happen? He would probably keep Harry busy the rest of the school year after
he killed Voldemort, making him scrub cauldrons and answer difficult questions
in Defense because he didn�t want to seem as though he was favoring Harry.

�� And if he
could rest�if he could really do
whatever he wanted and not feel guilty about it because he should be doing
something else�

�� It felt
wonderful.

�� Harry�s breathing
evened out, and that was the last thing he remembered.

*

�� Severus
could not remember when he had last felt so triumphant. Perhaps when he had
completed an experimental potion.

�� He had
admitted to Harry the truth of what he felt, and he was still alive. He had won
Harry�s admission back, and he no longer had to fear that his son hated him.

�� Harry had
survived the Entwining Potion with none of the serious, debilitating
side-effects that Severus had almost expected to see.

�� Someone was
knocking at his door. Severus still waited before he went to answer it, because
the joy was relentless and personal, and he had to put it somewhere out of
sight before he was fit to face someone who would not understand.

�� The three
of them were clustered at the door, of course. Draco was in the lead, but
Granger and Weasley pushed against his back as if they assumed it would give
way like a barrier of mist and allow them to slip through and into Severus�s
quarters. Severus arranged his face in his best sneer, and Draco had the sense
to step back, which crowded Weasley and Granger to a pleasant further distance.

�� We wanted
to see him, sir,� Draco said, and his voice grew softer when he saw Severus�s
face. Severus did not think he had seen more than he should have. This was the
softness of respect. �That is, if you�ll let us.�

�� You have to let us see him,� Granger said,
proving that she had learned nothing from watching Draco. �It�s our right as
his friends, and we have to know how he�s doing.�

�� Do you?�
Severus asked, and at least the tone of his voice made her calm down and take a
good look at him. Weasley blanched.

�� Can we
please see him, sir?� Granger asked, with more politeness this time, but still
a thrust-forwards chin and an anxious tone in the back of her voice. �I just
want to make sure that he survived all right.�

�� He will be
fine,� Severus said, �with more time, and rest, and several potions that are
meant to keep pain away from him and calm the residual aches in his muscles.
For the moment, I am sure he would tell you not to worry.� He paused, because
one of the monitoring charms he had cast in Harry�s room had let him know that
Harry had slipped into sleep. Good.
That was both faster and more easily than Severus had expected him to sleep,
considering what had happened to him.

�� Residual
aches?� Weasley spoke as if he didn�t know exactly what the words meant, but
found them an excuse for worry all the same. �Then why can�t we see him? Madam
Pomfrey lets us in to see him in the hospital wing all the time.�

�� He is my son,� Severus said, glad that Weasley
and Granger both fell back before the force of his voice. �He has agreed that I
have a right to protect him. I will
say when you can see him.�

�� Weasley
turned red. Draco opened his mouth, took a careful look at Severus�s face, and
then closed it again. He had been doing a good deal more observing lately than
talking, Severus thought approvingly. At least he had learned to control his
immediate impulse to speak, which could only do him good.

�� Granger
said, gently, as if she was talking to someone who spoke a language other than
English, �Harry�s never had parents. I don�t think he would agree to let you
take over his life like this.� She stepped forwards as though she thought that
her words ought to make Severus melt away like ice.

�� Severus
looked at her, and into her. He doubted that the girl meant harm, but she could
cause a lot of annoyance without meaning to. And she halted and stared at him
as if she found it surprising that she wasn�t being allowed access to Harry.

�� Come on,
Hermione,� Weasley whispered, tugging on her arm. �I�ve seen that look when Mum
didn�t want us to bother one of my siblings before.�

�� My parents
never tried to keep anyone away from me.� Granger pursed her lips and studied
Severus.

�� Your
upbringing was undoubtedly different,� Severus said. It was an effort to keep
his voice neutral instead of scornful, as he wanted it to be, but he thought
Harry would thank him for his restraint later. Draco had told him how resistant
Harry�s Gryffindor friends were to the thought of Slytherins intruding into his
life at all. If Severus could prove that any conflict was their fault, he would
hold his ground in Harry�s eyes, and perhaps gain more of it. �That does not
mean that you have the right to interfere in the way I raise my son.�

�� He�s
practically raised already,� Granger said, and her suspicious look grew deeper.
�He�s almost of age.�

�� Hermione,� Weasley moaned, perhaps
because he better read the expression on Severus�s face. �Leave it alone. I�m
satisfied he�s not hurting Harry. We can see him later. Come on.� He tugged at
her arm again, and this time managed to move her a few inches before she
planted her feet.

�� We ignored
Harry earlier in the year,� she told Severus. �I don�t want to do that again.
Let me talk to him for one minute, just to be sure that this is really what he
wants, and then we�ll leave.�

�� He�s
asleep,� Severus said, and had to admit that he took a mean satisfaction in
denying this petty, pushing girl what she wanted. �You can speak to him later.
By morning he should be well enough for visitors.�

�� But��
Granger began.

�� Why would
he lie about something like this, Granger?� Draco asked in a bored tone. �After
all, all you�ll have to do is ask Harry tomorrow if he�s telling the truth, and
if he isn�t, then Harry will distrust Professor Snape for ages. Just leave now.
Let�s all leave now,� he added, as if he had seen the objection forming in
Granger�s face about being sent away while he stayed behind. �It�s enough to
know that he�s fine.� He nodded to Severus and began walking down the corridor.

�� Weasley
sighed in what seemed like relief and started following him. Granger folded her
arms and studied Severus.

�� Harry has
never had anybody to look after him,� she said quietly, �except us. If you hurt
him��

�� Severus
felt like laughing. Granger was addressing him as if he were a new boyfriend
instead of Harry�s father.

�� I plan to
look after him better than you can ever imagine,� he said.

�� Finally,
Granger nodded and began to move slowly down the corridor. Perhaps she looked
over her shoulder and made the look threatening, but Severus did not see it,
because he had already shut the door and gone back to his wounded son.

*

�� Draco
sighed as he turned towards the Slytherin common room. He had thought for a
minute that Granger and Professor Snape would come to blows.

�� Well, considering that, I�m not happy that I
have to wait to see Harry, either. But I�m not stupid enough to insult his
father about it.

�� Oi,
Malfoy!�

�� Draco
turned, automatically drawing his wand. Weasley was behind him, and that was
never good news for anyone who didn�t have a Gryffindor tie.

�� But Weasley
held up his hands in token of peace�or at least dirty tricks later�and said, �I
wanted to say that I believe him, and
thanks for walking away when you did.�

�� Draco
blinked slowly. �You�re thanking me?�
he asked at last, to try and clarify all the emotions swimming in his head.

�� Yes.�
Weasley flushed when Draco stared at him, but continued gamely instead of
backing away, which Draco thought would have been his first instinct when
confronted with anything this difficult. �Look, Hermione wasn�t raised in the
wizarding world. She doesn�t know what it�s like here, why parents have so much
control over their kids� lives. Her parents largely let her do what she wants,
and she�s more powerful than them, since she has magic. So that�s why she was
acting that way.�

�� Draco
nodded slowly. He could see it as a cultural difference and not a difference of
blood, after his talk with Harry. Still� �She�s never challenged a professor
like that before.�

�� Weasley
gave him a wry smile. �No one�s ever tried to keep her from seeing Harry
before, except Madam Pomfrey, and she accepts that that�s a mediwitch�s job.
But Snape is different. He�s never acted like Harry�s parent, and she decided
that he really wasn�t if he couldn�t defend himself. Now she understands. All
right?�

�� Draco still
thought it was suicidal to challenge Professor Snape on his own ground, but he
nodded his acceptance. Weasley nodded back, and then turned and walked away
hurriedly, as if he thought trapdoors would open in the walls and let out
beasts that would eat him.

�� Draco spoke
the password to open the common room door, shaking his head as he went. Who would have thought I would see the day
that Weasley would explain Granger to me?

Then he smiled. Or the day that Professor Snape would act
like Harry Potter�s father?��

*

polka dot: Draco�s perception is
warped by concentration on Harry, so he doesn�t know how long Harry actually
suffered.

k lave demo: Good catch on Ron and
Hermione�s opposition not going away completely. In this case, Ron can understand
better just because he has stricter parents.

Sneakyfox: His reaction to Harry�s
pain. The glamour is still intact, and only Snape has seen beneath it�briefly, back
before he knew the secret.

rafiq: Thank you!

myniephoenix: Thanks!

SP777: Oh, I think Snape�s emotion
was obvious enough.

And yes, Harry is close to that,
but he isn�t thinking in those terms, just of Snape�s �weird� obsession with
blood relationships.

KienaBeana; Thanks! I was rather
pleased with how that scene turned out, myself.

Thrnbrooke: Thanks for reviewing.
- 41
- 42
- 43
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

Practicing Liars