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"Why Me?"	By : SpeedyTomato Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male Views: 88152 -:- Recommendations : 4 -:- Currently Reading : 8
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter and make no money off this work of extreme insanity.

Chapter List
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Beta’d by the amazing Tenchi. Love you, woman, you’re the best!

With help from Lynn who works with me when it comes to flow, continuity and other issues.

Epilogue:

A Lifetime of Insanity Awaits!

With Sirius right by his side, Harry clutched onto his broom tightly and stayed plastered back against the wall at the far end of the entrance hall of Merlin’s Rest. He then shook his head as Puff, with a loudly meowing Lucifer on his back, roared and walked towards the kitchen. The psychoferrets were scampering around the dragon’s legs as he walked, investigating everything as they moved along. Three months ago when they moved in this would have sent him into a panic, but now it was considered normal, just something they saw a couple days a week, at least the dragon and the cat. The ferrets—not too much.

As the animals moved along with an elf popping in to direct the dragon where he needed to go, Harry observed, “Tom must be around if the ferrets are here.”

“At least we don’t have to deal with him much,” Sirius chucked with a nod. “They stay on their floor and he generally has the ferrets under control. I bet they’re busy and the little monsters escaped from whatever.”

“At least they don’t bother us anymore,” Harry grinned. “Puff tends to keep them busy as he won’t put up with their nonsense and will singe their fur if they get too annoying.”

“Which is good,” Sirius agreed, giving Harry a nudge. “Come on, let’s go have a game while there is some peace and quiet.” Then he began leading Harry outside. Lucius was busy with something to do with business, so they had time away from him. When the man finished, he would probably come out for a while to just watch. As long as insanity didn’t follow, they were good with it.

Hand on Harry’s shoulder, the one that didn’t have the humming Vlad on it, he guided him towards the back entrance, smiling a tad.

“Did Mr. Weasley say anything about when Dumbledore will be released from the long term ward?” Harry asked as they walked along. He knew Sirius received a letter from him that morning. As those usually contained updates about Dumbledore and other areas, he figured there might be something.

“They don’t know,” Sirius grinned, giving a snicker. “Someone managed to get him talking about Voldemort and if there was war coming. All it took. Everything spilled out as Albus apparently tried recruiting them. Yeah, after that he’s in for quite some time. They still don’t know what’s wrong with him, but suspect it was some kind of potions he took to help boost his intelligence when he was young since he admitted to that at some point. Either way, they think he’s a danger to plenty, so he’s a guest of St. Mungo’s for the foreseeable future. Which is good for us!”

“It is,” Harry agreed with a nod and chuckle. “We have enough insanity in our lives without him being tossed into the mix.”

“Exactly,” Sirius laughed as they made their way through the maze of halls towards the backdoor. “It’s working out though.” Then he chuckled and shook his head before saying, “Be thankful we aren’t involved in some of it now. We knew when Rita Skeeter got her hands on some of it, like the part with Albus and the whole Moody/Aberforth romance, it wouldn’t be good. She’s still running with all of it and churning out stories about anyone attached to the Order. Molly and Arthur are good there, thankfully. The Tonks/Kingsley romance is actually garnering a lot of good attention and support for them, so it’s not bad. We’ve not been linked, so we can sit back and enjoy the fallout.”

“It’s a form of therapy, at least that’s how I’m looking at it,” Harry laughed, allowing Sirius to guide him along. “We’re settling nicely, so it’s better.”

“True,” Sirius nodded. “We just have a lifetime of insanity awaiting us with the great pervert. He’s calmed down there, so not too worried. More interested in spoiling Lucifer and Satyr than anything else.”

“It’s getting better,” Harry agreed with a smile. And it was. Lucius was changing slowly. While he was still a pervert, he wasn’t nearly as bad. As they were all calmer since they left Grimmauld Place, it was better. He then added, with a snort, “And Lucifer has just what he wants; he’s in charge of the house and we’re his good little minions. If he wants it, he gets it, doesn’t matter what it is.”

“That’s called self-preservation,” Sirius admitted with a shake of his head. “We do not want that cat going all evil again. If it means spoiling him, we’re all for it. As it is, we have this working out better, so we need no spanners in the works from that demon cat.”

“Tom still hasn’t figured out just what his mix is,” Harry sighed. “I’m agreeing with the demon part, though.”

“We all are I think,” Sirius nodded. “Doesn’t matter. As long as he stays like he is, we’re good.”

“We are,” Harry agreed, leaning against Sirius. “Still say I need therapy, but I think anything I would come across with would probably get me locked in the room next to Dumbledore. Don’t want to chance it, so we’ll go with it this way.”

“You and your therapy,” Sirius said, shaking his head and grinning. “We’re good, Harry. Not wwhat we wanted, but we’re fine. Lucius spoils us just like he does that damned cat. He’s still a pervert of the first order, but is calming.”

“True,” Harry nodded, stopping as Tom, who was in pink fluffy robes and dragon slippers dragging Snape along, admonishing the ferrets with an amused Remus trailing behind crossed their path. “It’s still nuts around here, just down to a level we can handle.”

“I don’t think we’ll ever be rid of the insanity,” Sirius admitted, grinning as Snape grumbled, but trailed along behind this version of Voldemort. “It’s with us until we die. Won’t matter because I’m sure more will find us no matter what we do. We’ll just go with it as we have been. At least we’re happy now. Not what we wanted, but we’re in a good place. Lucius keeps calming down and working with what we have, so it’s gradually improving. All that matters.”

“All that matters,” Harry echoed as they started moving along again once the trio vanished in the direction the dragon, cat and ferrets had headed. Leaning against Sirius, he smiled as they walked along. Yeah, he was happy. This wasn’t what they wanted, but it was good. If the insanity stayed at this level, he could deal with it. Besides, it was nice to finally have a true home and could have whatever he wanted. This was good.

As the two headed outside finally, they talked about various areas to have some fun over the next few days. Looking up, they could see Lucius in the window of the room he used for a study and waved to him. When he waved back, they yelled for Puff then mounted their brooms. Yeah, their life was nuts, but it was better than what they used to have. In the end, it was all that mattered to them besides being happy. As they were happy, they were good.

AN—It’s done! Finally! Yes! And it was a helluva ride! Comedy really isn’t my thing when it comes to writing more than oneshots and I vowed to never do another after one in another fandom, but this came so I went with it. And it was stranger than anything I’ve done before. The reception for it wasn’t anything I expected either. WOW! I had no idea it would garner the following it did.

Now on to the normal.

First and foremost, thanks to Tenchi who has been with me for years now, working with very few realizing how much she does for me. I thank you, Tenchi, for putting up with me for this long and being so bloody awesome about it. Love you, woman!

To Lynn who came in midway through it and has helped plenty. Thank you! It’s more appreciated than you will ever know. You’re awesome in your own right and give me great advice on so much. Love you too!

To my reviewers. You’re more appreciated than you’ll ever know. Sometimes what you say is what I need to keep going when the muse is being bitchy about so much.

To the fans who don’t comment. You’re appreciated as well.

Now, time to celebrate another done before I press on!

Thanks to all of you,

Speedy
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"Why Me?"