Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

Fragmented Soul	By : StrawberryGirl87 & Bickymonster Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Fenrir Views: 79707 -:- Recommendations : 3 -:- Currently Reading : 10
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or anything in the fandom. no money/profit is made.

Chapter List
- 41
- 42
- 43
As our facebookers know, we have had some trouble on ff dot net, and have had to edit the story on there, much as we didn't want to do so. So thank you for all the support that we have had in the last few days. You guys have been our rock and got us through a very difficult time.

Fragmented Soul

Chapter 42 – Home Comforts
After a rather lengthy lecture to Jenson and Damon about not letting Harry out of their sight, Fenrir had finally retreated to his now vacant bed and tried to get some sleep. After sitting up all night, watching over Harry, it was much deserved rest. Something that had only actually become possible now that his bed was free of half the pack, who had slept in it with Harry the night before. However, he wasn’t best pleased that he could smell all of the others in his bed now; he had been content for it to just smell of him and Harry. He would soon fix that though, if he could help it.
The pack in general was quiet, with a subdued feeling that was rather startling in contrast to the constant madness of the day before. Lukas was sat reading with Harry at his side; the submissive was trying his best to read too but kept getting caught up in his own thoughts. Romy was taking a short nap, having been woken at regular intervals throughout the night by her Dad, who had been worried about her concussion.
Tessie and Callie were instructing Clay and Micha on chopping up vegetables that they would cook as part of lunch, figuring that even they couldn’t get that wrong and that the task would keep them both busy and relatively out of trouble. Of course, the two had made it into a bit of a competition and were trying to see who could finish their task first. This had resulted in Callie having to put plasters over half their fingers where they had nicked themselves with the knives, much to her annoyance.
Jenson groaned as he heard the familiar squawk of an owl overhead, the sound making the other pack members who weren’t asleep look to the sky. A tawny owl was circling above them, clearly looking for the recipient of the mail it carried. As it turned out the bird had two letters, one addressed to Damon and the other to Jenson.
Harry and Clay immediately stopped what they were doing and went to see what the letters contained, knowing that, without a doubt, they would be from Dumbledore. The four of them exchanged looks of uncertainty as they silently debated waking Fenrir and Romy before they opened the letters.
“Just open them,” Harry said a little impatiently, crossing his arms over his chest as though that would help to protect him from what the letters might say. He wasn’t even sure what he wanted to be written in them; on one hand he was scared that Dumbledore might not let them return because that might mean he wouldn’t be able to work towards saving his father, but on the other hand he wasn’t sure he ever wanted to set foot in Hogwarts again.
Damon and Jenson each opened their respective letters; Harry and Clay stood beside them, waiting anxiously to see what they said. Clay had almost killed Blaise in his rage and now everything was hanging on what these two letters had inside them.
“Blah blah blah,” Damon said as he scanned over most of the letter, “having spoken with Mr Zabini and considered the matter carefully both Mr Harry Prince and Mr Clayton Danes are suspended from Hogwarts until Friday the twenty-first of January. They will be permitted to return to the school over the weekend so that they can begin classes on Monday the twenty-fourth.”
“This one says basically the same thing about Romy,” Jenson told them. “And it confirms that Zabini is to be expelled.”
“Yeah, that’s written here too,” Damon said as he read the rest of the letter. “And he says that if you want to press charges against him, Harry, that you will have to speak with the Department of Law Enforcement at the Ministry,” he added.
“No,” Harry said shaking his head, “I can’t,” he told them emphatically.
“It might be worth…” Jenson began but was swiftly cut off by Harry who was shaking his head.
“No,” Harry said again. “Even if I wanted to I wouldn’t.”
“But Harry, after what he did…” Jenson said, trying again. If he could he would have had Gideon arrested too but that wasn’t going to happen any time soon; at the very least he thought that Blaise needed to be shown that there were consequences to his actions.
“I know what he did but if I go to the Ministry and involve law enforcement then they could come here, they could see Fen. If he was to get arrested because of me…” Harry said, rambling and beginning to freak out about his mate being taken away from him. It was a thought that he couldn’t process, not even the possibility of it. He would protect Fenrir and the rest of the pack, even if it meant Blaise walked away without being punished by anything more than just being expelled from Hogwarts.
“Okay, no Ministry, we won’t press charges,” Damon said quickly, trying to calm the steadily panicking teenager. It seemed that the thought of Fenrir suddenly not being around was enough to push the teenager into a state of anxious worry.
“We won’t need the Ministry,” Clay said with scowl, “I’ll kill him myself if I ever see him again.” Damon frowned at his son, not liking the idea that Clay would so easily kill someone. Of course, he was of the opinion that Blaise would deserve it, but he never wanted to see his son sink to such measures.
“There is no reason that any of us should ever have to see him again,” Harry said, and he hoped he was right. That was what he wanted most at the moment, to never have to lay eyes on Blaise ever again.
Jenson and Damon nodded their agreement to that but then none of them were really sure what to say; it seemed that the pups would be with the pack for the remainder of the week before they were allowed to return to Hogwarts but they all had so many conflicting emotions over that.
Fenrir would also need convincing, of course, if they were to go back. He was not about to let Harry go anywhere that wasn’t safe. Damon was the only one who knew for sure just how resistant the Alpha was to the idea that the pups would go back to Hogwarts, though the others were aware he wouldn’t like it; but Damon wasn’t going to bring that up now. They all had enough to worry themselves with for the moment.
FGHP
Harry actually found himself relaxing a little bit now that he knew there was no chance that they would be expected to return to Hogwarts for the rest of the week. It also helped knowing that Blaise would definitely not be there upon their return. As such he was able to focus much better on the book that he had been trying to read earlier.
He was glad that he was being allowed to sit in peace and he realised that he had missed these moments with Lukas where the two of them just sat quietly together. If there was one positive aspect to everything that had happened, it was that everyone seemed quite content to let Harry do whatever he wanted as long as he remained within sight.
Romy had woken not long after the arrival of the letters and Jenson had let her read the one that Dumbledore had sent him; the contents were of no surprise to her really and like the others she was pleased that they would get to spend a week in the territory before returning. She had purposefully told the headmaster that she had helped in the assault on Blaise just so that she would be included in the expulsion that she suspected would happen because of Clay’s actions.
Fenrir, who had awoken a few hours later, had been unsurprisingly less happy that they were going to return at all. He had told Jenson and Damon very firmly that the pups would not be returning to that ‘fucking dangerous school’ before storming off into the tree line. Harry assumed that his mate was going to do something to vent his anger and was glad that the Alpha had left the clearing to do so, because that kind of aggression was not exactly what Harry wanted to be witnessing right now, not after everything that had happened.
The Alpha male’s legendary temper scared Harry on occasion and he had had enough of being scared to last a lifetime. With Fenrir off, likely destroying something, Harry was content to sit by the fire and read. It was the set school textbook on potion making but, even though his knowledge excelled beyond what was in the book, he was still rather enjoying the light reading. Looking over the instructions reminded him of his Dad and it relaxed him a little to have that reminder.
“What are you reading about, it looks… complicated?” Lukas asked, glancing over at the rather detailed looking instructions that Harry seemed to be enthralled with. Lukas had never been much for potions, it was far too practical for his liking; he much preferred getting lost in numbers.
“Potions,” Harry said. “It’s not too complicated once you break it down. This one is actually inaccurate, it says to cut the Sopophorous Bean when really you should crush it. It is extraordinarily difficult to actually try and chop it; and even if you do manage to get through its hard shell, without breaking several knives in the process, then you will end up wasting most of the juice, which is what you are after anyway.”
“So you’re telling me that a book is wrong?” Lukas asked and appeared to be a little disgusted at the possibility. He loved books, he relied heavily on the information that his books provided him with; to think that one was wrong, well… it was horrifying to say the least.
“No need to look so frightened, Lukas,” Harry said with a laugh, highly amused by his friend’s reaction. “The book isn’t technically wrong, if that makes you feel any better, but it is just that there is a far better method and I would never use this one,” he explained.
“Is it bad that that does actually make me feel a little better?” Lukas asked with a chuckle. He really didn’t like the idea that he couldn’t trust in the books that he had depended on his whole life.
“No, I get it,” Harry told him honestly; he could understand Lukas’ trust in the literature that was such a big part of his life. Harry had relied a lot on books growing up too, given that the only people he ever really spent any time with were his Dad, Clay and Damon; they had been his way of seeing the wonders of the world and opening his mind.
“This is nice though, just reading with you again,” Lukas said, giving Harry and warm smile. The other members of the pack, other than Harry and Romy, didn’t really understand his obsession with reading.
“So, this lady friend of yours, what does she think of your book addiction?” Harry asked playfully in a hushed conspiratorial voice.
“I am not sure exactly,” he admitted, running his fingers through his hair, looking around them to make sure that no-one else was listening in. He felt bad hiding his relationship from them all but he just wasn’t ready to share it with the rest of them and he had no idea how they would react to him dating a muggle. “I’ve managed to keep Nell at least mostly in the dark about the extent of that particular part of my life.”
“Nell, that’s cute,” Harry said with a small laugh. “I assume she knows about the tea addiction though, if she has spent any time with you at all then she has to have realised.”
“She actually shares my love of tea, I will have you know,” Lukas said, in a mock offended tone.
Harry smiled at him, edging closer to Lukas, who stretched his arm up and allowed the little submissive to cuddle into him. Both of them still holding their books open at where they had stopped reading so that they could find a comfortable position cuddled together to continue with their favourite pass time.
“Are you happy with her?” Harry asked quietly, a little out of the blue once the two of them were snuggled together and had settled down a little, leaning back against one of the log benches in front of the fire where it was nice and warm.
“Very much so,” Lukas said with a small smile to himself, “she’s adorably cute, always says the wrong thing but she’s everything I’ve ever wanted.”
“I’m glad you’re happy,” Harry said, though his tone was laced with sadness that made Lukas tighten his hold protectively around the teenager. Lukas had been there for Harry on both occasions where he had almost been raped and he felt very protective of the pup.
“You will be happy again too, Harry,” Lukas promised. “I know things seem horrible right now, but they have a way of working themselves out.” He had thought he would spend the rest of his life focusing on his Arithmancy, and that nothing else would ever be more important to him than that, but then Fenrir had found him and turned his life upside down. The whole pack had wormed their way deep into his heart and now he had Nell as well.
“Well I definitely agree with the things seeming horrible now bit,” Harry said with wry smile at his friend. “Yeah, I know that sounds all pessimistic and everything but what am I supposed to think when it always seems to be one thing after another.” Everything in his life was so complicated since the attack in Ingleton all those months ago; he missed the easy quiet life he had with his Dad.
Neither of them noticed Fenrir returning from his anger management session in the forest, only to spot them two of them cuddling by the fire; the Alpha scowled at the sight of them together and stormed off once again moments later. He was not at all pleased to see Harry snuggling up to another dominant male when his young mate wouldn’t do more than hold his hand. It bothered Fenrir that whenever his mate was distressed he would turn to others rather than to him.
He decided to walk a patrol around the boundaries, check on the strays and make sure the territory remained safe. He needed to be doing something to actively protect his pack and, given that Harry wouldn’t let him take care of him, he would do this instead. It was certainly preferable to watching his little mate cuddling with Lukas.
FGHP
Micha had been feeling a bit awkward all day. He wanted to spend time with Damon, but they were still concealing their relationship from Clayton, much to his disapproval. He had tried to spend a little time with Harry but his fellow submissive had just seemed to want to read quietly, which was definitely not his cup of tea; which, coincidentally, was what Lukas had been talking about when Micha had tried to spend some time with Harry and him.
Evening was setting in now and he was sat near Damon trying not to laugh at Clayton and Romy, who were bickering like an old married couple. Fenrir had returned, still in a rather horrible mood, a while earlier and was sat with his eyes fixed on Harry, as though if he looked away the little submissive might vanish.
“Stay here, trouble,” Damon said quietly, drawing Micha’s attention to him. “I’ll be back in a little bit.”
“Why? Where’re you going?” Micha asked curiously, not sure where his mate might have to go at this time in the evening. He occasionally left the territory to take care of the business and financial stuff he managed, which Micha had never really bothered to try to understand, but that was always during the day. “Are you leaving the territory?” Micha asked, looking a little concerned.
“No, just going for a walk,” Damon assured him, resisting the urge to press a kiss to his submissive’s temple. It was driving him to distraction being unable to touch or kiss his own mate while his son was around. It took a hell of a lot of self restraint not to just jump Micha half the time.
“I could come with you,” Micha offered, looking up at Damon hopefully, thinking that maybe they could get some time, just the two of them. Micha was missing their kisses and cuddles just as much as Damon was.
“That’s okay,” Damon said quickly, the hurried reply making Micha frown all the more as Damon delivered his final request of the submissive, “stay here.”
“But…” Micha went to protest; however, Damon shook his head as he got to his feet. He didn’t want his mate to follow him for this particular walk, not with what he had in mind.
“It’s okay, I’ll be back soon, promise,” Damon said, once again resisting the overwhelming urge to lean down and press his lips against those of his mate. Hiding their relationship was proving to be far more difficult than Damon had ever thought that it would be and they had the pups at home for a whole week yet.
“Damon,” Micha began but his mate had already started his retreat from the rest of the group, through the tree line of the forest alone, leaving Micha looking a little confused and feeling mildly concerned at the blatant brush off he had been given. It wasn’t the first time that his mate had disappeared off into the forest alone with little or no explanation in the last few weeks either.
“Where’s he going?” Harry asked, as he came over and sat down in the place Damon had just vacated. Harry was eager to escape the watchful eyes of his mate for a little while as Fenrir’s gaze was somewhat unnerving to him; he was hoping that coming to talk to Micha would distract him from it.
“Your guess is as good as mine,” Micha told him with a shrug, trying to sound as if he didn’t care, but Harry could see right through that façade, as he always had a knack for doing.
Harry looked at Micha, taking in his hurt expression that he was trying valiantly to hide. “He didn’t tell you?” he asked, glancing over in the direction that Damon had gone, looking a little confused as to what he was up to.
“No, just said to wait here,” Micha said feeling utterly dejected; Damon was acting weird and Micha had no idea why but he was sure that it was something he had done or that it was his fault at the very least.
“Well, if he’s going to be vague, let’s not do as we’re told,” Harry said with a devious smile. “I need to get away from everyone anyway, come for a walk with me?”
“Yeah, but let’s stick close so we don’t end up with the Alpha, or Damon, or both come after us,” Micha said, not feeling much like breaking the rules. Damon, it seemed, was already unhappy with him for some unknown reason; he didn’t want to push the boundaries too much if he could help it.
“Sure,” Harry said, looking at his fellow submissive with concern as Micha got to his feet, pulling them both up from the ground and linking their arms together. “We’ll stay in the clearing,” Harry told Fenrir before the Alpha could ask where they were going or start to follow after them.
“So how are you doing?” Micha asked as they started the familiar walk around the edge of the clearing. He knew that Harry was going to ask him the same question and he didn’t really want to talk about it. Harry had been through so much, the last thing he needed was to listen to Micha drone on about his problems.
“I’m…” Harry started, but quickly realised he didn’t know what to say because in all honesty he didn’t know how he was doing. “Well… I don’t know really. Tired of being scared, that’s for sure.”
“It gets easier,” Micha said, hating that he could tell Harry this for a certainty because he had been through it all himself. It seemed so wrong that they could comfort each other based on shared experiences that had left them both scared and damaged.
“Does it?” Harry asked quietly not quite believing that the feeling eating away at him from the inside out could ever get easier. To Harry it felt as if the feeling of betrayal and disgust would eat away at him until there was nothing left and he was just a shell of a person left behind that no one would want.
“Yeah, it does actually,” Micha said, sounding genuinely surprised by the realisation. He hadn’t even truly believed it until he had said it a moment before but he was beginning to realise that it really did get better. “I mean, think how I was just a month ago...”
“You are doing amazingly,” Harry agreed, glad to focus on anything other than his own problems and the way that he was feeling. He looked at Micha and saw an unbelievably strong individual who was capable of the greatest love and compassion, even if he didn’t realise it himself yet. Harry was envious of this because he honestly thought that he was just too much trouble for a man like Fenrir.
“Yeah, most days,” Micha admitted, because some days he just wanted to curl up under his blankets and never come out, his strength and resolve to survive having failed him. “Sometimes I wish I was ready for more with Damon, or wonder if I am ready, but...”
“You don’t want to risk jumping in too fast and making it worse?” Harry asked, finishing Micha’s sentence for him, which made the older of the two smile.
“Something like that. Plus, I’m still not really sure how I feel about this keeping it from Clayton thing. Don’t get me wrong,” Micha added quickly, “I understand why, but I still am not exactly happy about it. Not to mention how he keeps sneaking off and not telling anywhere where he’s going or what he’s doing!”
“I assume you asked what he was up to,” Harry queried. He was a little curious himself, if he was honest, because it was most unlike Damon to be this secretive; there was probably some harmless reason that he kept heading off into the woods alone but he had no idea what it could be.
“Yeah, ‘taking a walk’ apparently,” Micha told him, scoffing at that to show how much he had believed that story. If Damon was just taking a walk then he surely would have invited him along, they could have had a few kisses and cuddles, like those Damon claimed to miss when Clayton was around.
“Next time he ‘takes a walk’ you should follow him,” Harry suggested, “see what he’s up to.” It was exactly what he would have done if Fenrir was trying to hide something from him.
“Follow him?” Micha questioned uncertainly. “Isn’t that… un-trusting?”
“You want to know what he’s doing don’t you?” Harry asked and Micha nodded. “Well, if he won’t tell you then you use any means necessary to find out,” he explained as though this logic was obvious.
“That seems very... sneaky,” Micha told him, not really sure that he wanted to be that person. Surely he should just trust that Damon had his reasons, but he could admit that he was more than a little curious.
“Well, I am a Slytherin for a reason,” Harry told him proudly.
“HA,” Micha said with amusement, remembering hearing Romy talking about the Hogwarts houses before the pups had left the first time. “Well that does seem about right,” he agreed. “Where did Clay get sorted in the end, and Romy?”
“Clay’s in Gryffindor and Romy in Ravenclaw,” Harry told him, “but don’t tell anyone because I don’t think Fen would be too happy to know that we all got separated.”
“I don’t think it’ll matter if he doesn’t let you go back,” Micha pointed out. The Alpha was stubborn at the best of times, but after the way Harry was attacked Micha thought it was going to take quite some doing for Harry to be let out of his sight again.
“He’ll let us go back,” Harry responded with fierce determination.
“Really, you’re sure about that?” Micha asked, mildly amused at how much like Fenrir, Harry could be at times; the way they both gave simple statements that things are going to happen their way no matter what.
“Yes,” Harry assured him, “because he won’t be able to stop me.” The Alpha would have to physically restrain him to keep him away from the school; there was too much at stake for him not to return.
“I don’t really understand why you are so set on going back there,” Micha said. It seemed like it was a lot of trouble to go to for a few answers, no matter how important the questions were.
“I can’t explain, not just yet,” Harry told him, with an apologetic smile. “Sorry. Just trust me that it is something I have to do.”
“You know I trust you, Harry,” Micha said earnestly, “but maybe… it’s a lot to handle on your own, you shouldn’t have to worry about everything. I can understand not telling Alpha bossy boots over there but me?” he asked. “I’m your friend; we’ve been through so much. I wouldn’t give away your secrets.”
“Okay, well… I can explain if you really want,” Harry said, biting at his lip nervously, feeling hesitant. “But you can’t tell anyone, not even Damon,” he added firmly, wanting Micha to know just how seriously this secret had to be kept. “I only haven’t told you before because I didn’t want you to have to keep things from him.”
“Thank you for that,” Micha said with a smile, touched that Harry had been so considerate about it. “But if you need me to keep your secrets, even from Damon, then I will,” he promised. Damon might be his mate, but Harry was his friend and just as important.
“It’s so complicated and I’m struggling with it,” Harry explained. “Half the time I don’t know what I’m doing and it scares me half to death.” The pressure of knowing that one false step could get his Dad killed was eating at him all the time, a heavy presence in his mind.
“Which is why you need to talk to someone,” Micha said insistently, “maybe I can help.” He didn’t like the idea that Harry was struggle through whatever it was alone.
“I’m not sure you can,” Harry said taking a deep breath. “Well here goes; the headmaster at Hogwarts, Dumbledore, he’s keeping my Dad held hostage under some form of containment spell so that he can make me do what he wants.”
“Wait, your Dad’s alive?” Micha exclaimed, only just catching himself from saying it too loudly. He certainly hadn’t expected that particular revelation.
“Apparently,” Harry said with a tired sigh.
“Well fuck…” Micha said, looking a little dazed. “Why the hell haven’t you told anyone? Shouldn’t we be trying to get him back?” he asked a little manically, not understanding why Harry, who loved his father more than anything, wasn’t doing everything to get the man back already; why he wasn’t using every resource available.
“I need to see what Dumbledore wants from me first,” Harry told him stubbornly. “There is a reason he has my Dad and is taking the effort to keep him alive. Besides I don’t know where he is. I have no idea how he is or even why Dumbledore needs my cooperation so badly. I’m thinking that it might be easier to just give him what he wants.”
“Are you sure you know what you’re doing?” Micha asked sceptically. “From what we’ve seen of this guy already…”
“I don’t have another choice,” Harry said. “If we do anything, if we try and save him then there is nothing to stop Dumbledore from just killing him; besides, Dumbledore doesn’t know that I know my Dad is alive yet. When I get back I plan on talking to him, finding out where we all stand. He’s already holding Fenrir over my head, threatening to have him arrested.”
“This sounds really dangerous, Harry,” Micha said, frowning in concern. “Maybe you just shouldn’t go back and we will find your Dad some other way,” he suggested, now starting to think that the Alpha might be right about just keeping the pups safely in the territory.
“Micha, I can’t,” Harry told him, letting out a sigh. “Don’t you think that Dumbledore is going to have done everything to keep my Dad hidden? I would probably never find him. I can’t gamble on his life like that,” he explained.
“But you’d gamble your own?” Micha asked in frustration.
“What is my life really worth, Micha?” Harry stated, as though he really did believe himself disposable.
“A hell of a lot,” Micha said a little angrily, “to me, to Damon, Clay, Romy… everyone, especially to Fenrir. What do you think he would say if he knew?” he demanded, pulling on Harry’s arm, so that his fellow submissive turned to face him.
“Exactly why I won’t be telling him anything,” Harry pointed out, his eyes narrowed as he met Micha’s. “I love him and I’m going to protect him and every single one of you if I can… this is my fight,” he insisted, not wanting to drag anyone else into it. “It’s my Dad and I am going to get him back, alive.”
Micha looked worried, scared for what Harry might do. How couldn’t he expect to keep a secret that could end with him getting hurt? “I can’t…”
“You won’t say anything, Micha,” Harry said firmly, “you promised.” He knew there was a reason he had been keeping this all to himself and now he was going to be constantly wondering how long it was before Micha gave up his secrets to Damon, or even Fenrir.
“I’m not going to tell anyone,” Micha assured him, “but I’m not going to stop pestering you until you do.” He realised that he would never betray Harry’s confidence like that, he valued their unique friendship too much to risk destroying it, but he couldn’t just do nothing.
“Good luck with that,” Harry said grumpily, unlinking their arms and stepping away. He couldn’t believe that Micha was being so difficult on this. He had needed his friend’s support and now he wasn’t sure whether telling him had been a good idea or not.
Micha reached out and grabbed Harry’s hand before he could storm away, which he looked like he was about to do. “I am only doing it because I love you, Harry. You’re my family and I don’t want you hurt. You can be angry at me for that if you like, but it won’t change a thing.”
“Yeah, I know, Micha,” Harry admitted with a sigh, understanding that his fellow submissive was just trying to help, but honestly he just wished that he wouldn’t. He needed a friend a lot more than another protector right now. “I just… I’m just going to go sit and read; my head is spinning with too many thoughts.”
“Oh, okay then,” Micha said a little sadly, though he could understand the head spinning thing and Harry’s need for quiet time alone. “I will keep your secret, Harry,” he promised, wanting to make that clear.
“Thanks. We’ll… talk later,” Harry assured him with a sigh, not missing the pain in Micha’s voice and eyes. Micha just gave him a nod at that and so he turned and headed back towards the fire and the rest the pack, Micha following after him a moment later.
FGHP
Tuesday morning saw the arrival of another mail delivery, this time a majestic eagle owl, a letter addressed to Harry clutched in its talons. Fenrir watched on closely with mild jealousy as his mate received this correspondence and skulked off away from everyone else to read it. Harry didn’t wander far, but dropped himself down to the floor next to his tree, a clear signal that he wanted to be left alone to read it.
He opened the letter and couldn’t help but smile at the familiar elegant scrawl of one Draco Malfoy. He felt a twinge of guilt for not having contacted his friend himself, and having left Draco completely in the dark about everything that had happened, but he had had other priorities and it had simply not occurred to him; he was sure that Draco would understand that.
Harry scanned over the letter several times, taking in everything that it said. Draco didn’t seem shocked that Blaise had been expelled from Hogwarts, but it seemed that Harry, Clay and Romy’s week long expulsion had been unexpected. Though, considering that Blaise would be recovering in the hospital wing at Hogwarts for the week that they weren’t there, it seemed perfectly logical to Harry.
Draco told him that Zabini’s mother had already been to the school and kicked up a fuss, yelling about how unacceptable it was that the people responsible for the state of her only son were not going to be held accountable for their actions. She refused to believe that her son was capable of any kind of violence.
The letter told him how there was a split of opinion in the Slytherin house between those who thought that Blaise had gotten what he deserved and those that believed that Harry had orchestrated the whole thing. It would inevitably make for some interesting dynamics upon his return, Harry was sure. He didn’t care that much what anyone thought, even if they were of the opinion that he almost killed Blaise for the fun of it, but he hoped that they wouldn’t complicate things even further.
Summoning some parchment and quill from his backpack, finding himself far too comfortable and a little too lazy to move, Harry began to compose his reply. He wanted Draco to know that they were okay and that they would be returning the following week. It took him a moment to find the words, he needed to explain what had happened, but it was so difficult.
Talking about it was a million times harder than writing about it but Harry knew that if he was ever going to be able to voice it to his mate and his family, then putting it into words was the first step. However, every time he tried to put the quill to parchment he stalled, trying to figure out where to even begin. Somehow starting with, ‘it was my fault’ didn’t seem like the right way to start explaining.
In the end he settled for ‘I didn’t mean for things to get so out of hand,’ which was at least indisputably the truth. He still couldn’t believe how their conflict in the hallway had turned into something so awful, but he caught himself before he could get lost in those thoughts all over again, and started to explain in general terms what had happened.
Getting to the end of the letter and the explanation had been a trying experience for Harry, reliving the attack, trying not to think about the flashbacks to the attack in the forest where Gideon had attempted to castrate him. Emotionally he had gone into overload and by the time that he was finished he felt entirely numb to all of it. Which was why it was the worst timing possible when Fenrir came to see if Harry was alright.
“Little one…” Fenrir began.
Startled by the sudden appearance of the Alpha, Harry moved to cover the letter he had been writing so that Fenrir wouldn’t see the contents. If he was ever going to let his mate know what had happened then he wanted to tell him, not have him read it in some letter.
“Yes,” Harry responded quietly, looking up at his large mate with sad green eyes. He wasn’t much in the mood to talk but not wanting to hurt Fenrir’s feelings at all by telling him to go away. “It’s just a letter, Fen,” he told him, with a shrug of his shoulders. He didn’t know what his mate wanted from him, but he just wanted to be alone for a while.
“You’re upset,” Fenrir stated.
Part of Harry was aware that normally he would have been able to come up with some snarky response to that but he just couldn’t muster the energy to argue with that rather obvious assessment of his mood. “Yes, I am,” he stated simply.
Fenrir scowled. “The letter upset you,” he said firmly. His little mate had been through enough without people upsetting him with letters.
“No, not exactly,” Harry told him. “Can we just not do this now, Fen?” he asked, hating how feeble the request sounded, even to his own ears.
“Come back to the fire,” the Alpha instructed, not liking his mate sitting alone in the cold. He could see the goose pimples across the exposed skin of his mate and he felt the overwhelming urge to wrap him in his arms and keep him warm; however, he resisted, knowing that it would not be the best move to make.
Harry sighed again. “In a moment,” he agreed; he just wanted to sign off and send his reply to Draco first, not least because the large eagle owl was looking rather impatient about having to wait so long for the letter to take back.
“Fine,” the Alpha said grumpily, as he turned and headed back towards the fire himself, feeling glad that at least Harry hadn’t refused outright.
Harry watched him go, before turning back to his letter and signing his name at the bottom. For a moment he considered just tearing the thing up and telling Draco nothing; a large part of him wanted no-one to know what had happened, to hide it away and pretend, but somehow he felt he owed the blond the truth. So steeling himself, he wrote Draco’s name on the outside and handed it to the eagle owl, before he could change his mind.
He leaned his head back against the tree and closed his eyes. It was so strange to have so much going on his head and, at the same time, feel so emotionally… blank; it made him feel broken. He didn’t really want to burden the others with his mood but knew that the Alpha would just come hassle him again if he didn’t; so he got to his feet and trudged across the clearing. He quickly took a seat next to Romy, before anyone else could ask him to sit with them, and she rested her head on his shoulder.
“Hi,” she said gently.
“Hi,” Harry responded, though even he could hear how despondent he sounded.
“Who were you writing to?” Romy asked curiously.
“Just Draco; letting him know we’re okay,” Harry explained.
“That’s good,” she said simply and allowed them to fall into silence, for which Harry was grateful. He could just sit and enjoy the comfort of her leaning against him, the pack around them, that was about as much as he could cope with this morning and he was glad that no-one was asking for anything more; not yet at least. “Maybe you should tell Fenrir… he seems…”
“Grumpy?” Harry suggested.
Romy chuckled lightly. “A little,” she agreed.
“What else is new,” Harry pointed out, glancing over at his large mate, who was sitting next to Damon, watching him intently. “He’s always grumpy,” he added, looking back down at his hands. He felt a little awkward knowing that the Alpha was watching him, but Fenrir had being doing that almost constantly from the moment he had returned to the territory.
“I know,” Romy said, nodding her agreement, “but this is a little… different,” she tried to explain. “He’s worried.” The Alpha had a sadness about him, that they could only see because they knew him so well; and it was not at all like his usual moods.
“I’m trying, Romy,” Harry said with a sigh. He really hadn’t wanted to talk about this, but that is all everyone wanted to do at the moment; talk.
“Are you though?” she asked with concern. To her it seemed as though Harry was just letting himself dwell on his thoughts most of the time; she had done the same for a long time after Jenson had saved her, but it wasn’t exactly a great way to go about dealing with everything.
“I am,” Harry said defensively. “At least… I think I am…” he added a second later, “I want to be.”
“Then talk to him,” Romy suggested. Harry looked at her with a scowl at the suggestion of more talking. “Not about everything but just some of it,” she added, understanding that he probably wouldn’t be ready to explain what had really happened to the Alpha, particularly given the way that Fenrir was likely to react, but they had to start somewhere.
“Okay, I’ll try,” Harry agreed, able to see that she might be right. He could probably have a conversation with the Alpha if it didn’t involve anything about the attack. “But not yet; before we go back, but not today,” he compromised.
“Just don’t leave it too long. You know all those doubts you get about whether or not he loves you, when he doesn’t show it for a while?” she asked, and Harry nodded slowly with a frown on his face, not quite sure where she was going with this. “Well the Alpha probably gets those too you know,” she told him.
“Way to make me feel guilty, Romy,” Harry said with a sigh, though he realised that she was probably right. He felt bad that he was almost punishing his mate for the crimes that Blaise had committed, but he just didn’t know how to feel comfortable with Fenrir again yet.
“I would say sorry, but that would be a lie,” Romy told him with a smirk on her face, if a little guilt got him talking the Fenrir again, then it would be worth it. “Just talk to him soon, even if it is just to let him know that you are trying,” she suggested.
“I will,” he promised, “it’s just hard…”
“I’m happy to listen if you need to talk to someone a little less… threatening first,” Romy offered. “I’m not going to lie; I would like to know what happened after I got knocked out.” She had pieced together most of it from what Clayton and Harry had told Dumbledore, but she half suspected that the gaps that her mind was filling in was maybe making it even worse than it was; she hoped it was, because if Harry really went through half of the things her brain was suggesting…
“I am not sure you really want to know,” he told her quietly, wondering if telling her would bring back her memories of what happened to her, like it kept bringing back his memories of Gideon.
Romy reached out and clasped his hand, and he turned to look at her in surprise. “I want to know, if you want to tell me,” she said earnestly, the sincerity showing in her eyes and on her face.
“I… Thank you,” Harry said, lowering his head. Everyone was encouraging him to talk about it, and after the letter he had written he hoped he could find the strength to do so, but just not quite yet.
“You’re welcome, Harry,” Romy said softly, leaning her head back onto his shoulder and just keeping him company for a little while.
FGHP
It had been clear to everyone that Harry was struggling; it wasn’t exactly a surprise but they wanted to try and break him out of the trace he had been in since that morning. They had all eaten lunch together around the fire as always, but Harry had done little more than prod at his food with a fork, despite Romy’s encouragement.
“We should play poker,” Micha suggested suddenly. He had been practising at playing cards and thought that it might be just what they needed to help Harry get out of his own head for a few minutes at least.
“I’m game,” Clay agreed. He too was struggling with the aftermath of what had happened; he couldn’t help but feel guilty for not having stopped Blaise sooner and he could barely look at Harry, who seemed so hurt, without wanting to fall to his knees and beg forgiveness. He just didn’t know what to say to his best friend.
“You’ll play; won’t you, Harry?” Micha asked, giving his fellow submissive a hopeful smile. Harry, who hadn’t really been paying much in the way of attention to his friends, looked up at them, startled to have been addressed at all. “Poker,” Micha said, when Harry just continued to look confused, “you’ll play, right.”
“I dunno,” Harry said.
“I’ll even find something for us to bet, make it more interesting,” Clay said, though he made sure to keep his voice low so that none of the disapproving adults could put a stop to his plans before he could put them into action. However, he was a little too excited at the prospect and didn’t think to factor in who might have been standing behind him.
“No gambling,” Jenson said sternly, making Clay jump in surprise. He had been reluctant to teach them the game at all, and it had been on the condition that there would be no betting on it.
“I just meant with twigs or something,” Clayton said in a pleading voice as he turned to face the Beta, who was standing right behind him, arms crossed over his chest and a scowl on his face.
“Let them have their fun, Dad,” Romy said. She, like Micha, was hopeful that the game might help Harry a little and if adding in some gambling with sticks was what it took to get him to agree to play then it would be worth it.
“You’re going to play too, aren’t you, Romy?” Clayton asked.
“I think I’ll pass,” she said, looking a little dubiously at her pack brothers.
“I’ll play, if Romy does,” Harry bargained.
Romy sighed in exasperation. “Fine,” she agreed with a huff, “I’ll play, but if you guys start making this game into some perverted joke and I’m out.”
“Why would you think we would do that?” Micha asked with a cheeky grin.
“How would we even manage that?” Harry asked, clearly mulling it over in his mind.
“Because you three always manage it somehow,” she said with a roll of her eyes.
“Okay,” Clayton said with a wink at Romy, “we won’t play strip poker!”
“See; you always manage it,” Romy said with a glare at Clay, who managed to dodge out of the way as Jenson tried to clip him round the ear.
“Keep it clean,” Jenson instructed, already thinking he was going to regret letting them play at all, but Harry had said more in the last few minutes than he had for most of the rest of the day, so he would let it go for now. And so, as the pups and Micha went to find the packs of cards, he headed over and sat down by his mate.
It took no more than half an hour before Micha, Harry, Clayton and Romy were gathered around in a circle, close to the fire, playing poker; each of them had a small pile of kindling sticks for betting with at their sides. They were under the watchful eyes of the other pack members, in particular Damon, Jenson and Fenrir who wouldn’t stray far from them.
“I bet you three sticks,” Clay said after contemplating his hand of cards for a few moments, trying not to give too much away as Romy was watching him carefully through narrowed eyes.
He winked at her as he threw three sticks into the small pile in the middle of the four of them. Micha and Romy had already folded for this round and it was just down to him and Harry, though Romy was still insistent on watching her cousin carefully, trying to find out his tells for when he was bluffing just as Jenson had taught her.
“I see your three sticks and raise you a really, really big stick,” Harry said, adding his to the central pile, giving Clay a confident smile. He had discovered that the poker game had done exactly what the others had hoped it might and taken his mind of things for a while, it had even managed to make him smile, something of a rarity since the attack.
“I don’t have a big stick,” Clay protested, looking at his pile of small twigs. He wasn’t sure that he shouldn’t just fold anyway given how pleased Harry was looking to be with his cards, because he was pretty sure his friend wasn’t that good at bluffing.
“Yeah, well don’t tell Romy that,” Micha said, chuckling slightly from his position beside Harry. “You’re struggling to get her interest enough as it is,” he added with a wink in Romy’s direction.
“Eww, Micha!” Romy said, scrunching up her nose and shaking her head. She had known that one of them wouldn’t be able to resist turning the game into some kind of perverted joke but she would have put money on it being Clay to start it rather than Micha. It seemed that Micha really was spending far too much time with Harry and Clay. He might have been ten years older than the two pups but he really didn’t act it.
“That particular stick is plenty big, thank you very much,” Clay retorted calmly, his attention firmly on his cards and Harry. “Though I don’t fancy losing it in a game of cards to one of you lot,” he added a moment later making them all laugh.
“Also, you couldn’t bet it,” Micha said, “it already belongs to Romy. I suppose that means that she could though,” he went on, tapping his finger against his chin as though giving the matter serious consideration.
“Does that mean Harry gets to bet using the Alpha’s, because that is definitely cheating,” Clay said, screwing up his nose in disgust.
“Clayton!” Romy exclaimed as she took in the heartbroken expression that crossed Harry’s face. She was furious at her cousin for mentioning Fenrir; the poker game had been meant to distract Harry from the problems he was having not remind him of them.
“Oh shit, sorry, Harry,” Clay said earnestly, “I really didn’t mean it like that.”
“It’s fine, Clay, just… can we drop this,” Harry said, his voice morose and it hit Clay rather suddenly how much Harry was currently suffering just by his tone. Added to the guilt of not being there to protect his best friend he now felt worse for reminding him of the problems.
“Let’s just play,” Micha suggested, sharing a worried look with Romy who nodded in agreement; Harry, however, wasn’t looking as sure any more. He could feel Fenrir watching him with concern but he refused to look over to his mate, he didn’t want to meet those golden eyes. Harry was worried about what he might find if he did. He didn’t want to see pity or concern, he wanted to see affection and it concerned him that he might not see it after what had happened.
“Thanks,” Harry said, glad that they could just focus on the game rather than everything else that was running riot in his mind currently.
The flash of hurt that had contorted Harry’s face had not gone unnoticed by Fenrir, who had been constantly watching his little mate since he had arrived back; he was concerned for his welfare as he was not himself at all. Jenson and Damon had been watching Micha and the other pups too, though not for the same reason as the Alpha. Damon just couldn’t stop watching Micha and very shortly he was going to have to disappear off into the forest again for a private moment. The amount of times he had to go and have some private time was ridiculous recently, when all he wanted was to throw Micha down and have his way with him.
Jenson simply wanted to make sure that the pups were indeed keeping the game of poker clean. He was glaring somewhat at Clay for the rather uncouth comments about sticks, though to be fair it had been Micha who had started it on this occasion. When it came to Clayton, Jenson was very distrusting, as he was starting to see just how much Romy liked Clay even though she tried to hide it. In Jenson’s opinion no one was good enough for his little girl and he would sooner skin the boy alive than see them together. Something he was sorely tempted to do most of the time they were in close proximity.
“We should probably talk about Gideon and his pack while the pups and Micha are distracted,” Damon suggested. Fenrir had mentioned them briefly the morning after the full moon and they were all more than aware that it was something they needed to discuss as it was a problem that wasn’t going away. They simply hadn’t had any opportunity to do so since the full moon, not with the pups going back to school and returning to the clearing in such a short space of time.
“Erm, should I make myself scarce for this conversation?” Lukas, who was sitting close by to the top dominants of the pack, asked. It felt a bit awkward them including him when Micha, who was actually four years his elder was being deliberately kept in the dark about what was going on.
“Stay,” Fenrir instructed. To the Alpha, Lukas was one of the adult dominants of his pack and therefore needed to hear what he had to say. If he could help it, Fenrir would not permit the submissives members of his pack to be involved in this; he didn’t believe that it was their place.
“We could probably use your mature rational mind on this one,” Jenson agreed. Lukas might only have been twenty-one but he certainly acted much older. If Micha was more mature for his age then even he might have been included in the conversation but, as it was, the dominants preferred him with the pups, as was his mentality.
Not even Callie and Tessie were to be in on this; both of the older females were chatting and cooking by the fire. Though, truth be told, they preferred it to be this way, as did the Alpha, who was very much of the opinion that dominant males were to handle the packs problems, not the women, the submissive males or the pups. Fenrir liked to keep things very much cut and dry on that front; he was just annoyed that he didn’t have many dominant males to defend his pack.
“There are more of them than last full moon,” Fenrir said; of this he was certain, he had been able to smell all of their scents on the breeze, there were at least half a dozen more wolves than they had known about on the last count.
“They outnumber us then,” Jenson said in a hushed tone, though his voice was laced with concern. He didn’t want any of the others to hear this, it would only worry them and after everything that had happened they didn’t need to be worrying about anything else.
“They must know that though and they made no move to attack us. There must be a reason why,” Lukas said with a frown marring his face. He hated to think of their home under threat like this. He cared for the pack deeply and he didn’t want any of them to be in danger.
“They have been told not to,” Fenrir said, believing this statement. The man whom he knew to be leading the strays was not a man who listed patience within his personality traits. He would have known that he had the upper hand and yet he still did not attack, which only meant one thing to Fenrir and that was that they had been ordered to hold back for the moment. Their reasoning for this, however, was beyond him.
“According to Tessie, they are after Harry,” Damon explained. He didn’t like to think of anyone being after Harry; though that seemed to be a rather common occurrence now. He loved Harry, treated him like a son but he sometimes wondered what had been going through his best friend’s head when he had bitten the young child.
“Harry? Is that why they attacked him?” Lukas asked, remembering the horrific attack on the scared young pup all those months back. It wasn’t a night that he liked to remember often, not with what had happened to the Alpha male of their pack too.
“Yes,” Fenrir said with a grunt. It was not something that he liked to acknowledge either. Knowing that his mate was in danger, and that that danger was relentless, was not something he wanted to think about. It put him on edge to know of all the threats that were stacking up against his young mate. He knew that he was being rather hard on the teenager but he would rather have Harry unhappy at him temporarily and safe, than happy and dead.
“My brother is working for the Dark Lord, that much I know,” Jenson said with a scowl. “So do we think that they are looking for Harry on his orders?”
“But what would the Dark Lord want with Harry?” Damon asked with concern. There were fearful mutterings across the wizarding world about this man, he heard them whenever he left the territory to deal with his business holdings and he didn’t like what he was hearing. Knowing that Harry was somehow tangled up in what was going on in regards to this evil man just didn’t sit right with him.
“Maybe it isn’t such a bad idea him being at Hogwarts after all; at least there he is out of the reach of you-know-who and Gideon,” Jenson said, even though he honestly never thought that he would think that the three pups being away from the pack and the territory a good thing. However, with the strays surrounding them and making their day to day lives more difficult, he was starting to think that they were safer there than here.
“The night I bit Harry was the night the Dark Lord fell,” Fenrir stated bluntly. It had been so many years ago now that the memories were not as clear as they ought to have been but there were a few things that he did remember; that was one of them.
“You think it’s connected?” Lukas asked, wondering how a child, as young as Harry had been on that night, could have become so tangled up in such dark magic and evil wizards. “Harry would have been what, two years old at the time?”
“Less than that,” Damon said to Lukas, “fifteen months.” Lukas went wide eyed at this, concerned and confused as to why at fifteen months old, Harry had been a target for such a dark wizard.
“Yes,” Fenrir said with an unhappy growl, “it is connected.”
“Makes sense but that still doesn’t answer why they aren’t just attacking,” Jenson said. He didn’t like the fact that Harry was under attack from these people any more than the rest of them but it was confusing to him why they didn’t just attack. They had the upper hand; they could have easily taken what they wanted and killed everyone else. It wasn’t a thought that sat well with the Beta wolf but his logical mind couldn’t help but state the facts to him.
“Maybe they think we are stronger than we are, particularly given what happened with the two that Harry and Romy killed,” Lukas said, not liking the growls that were initiated from Jenson and Fenrir at the reminder that the two youngest members of the pack had not only had to fight to defend themselves but had also been forced to kill their attackers.
“Maybe, but judging by those Deatheaters in Diagon Alley my guess would be that they have other plans for Harry,” Damon said with a frown, trying not to pay any attention to the over protective natures of both Jenson and Fenrir. Lukas had looked a little taken aback by their reactions to what he had said and looked as if he was going to keep his mouth firmly shut from now on.
“I used to work for him, a long time ago,” Fenrir told them. He did not look particularly pleased with having to divulge this information to his pack but unfortunately it was something that he thought they needed to know. If they were going to be asked to defend the pack, which was more than likely at this point, then they deserved to know all of the facts.
“So he wants you too?” Damon queried, looking unsure. The Dark Lord would undoubtedly have a lot of followers already and it was confusing to Damon why he would be concerned about one more. Fenrir was, of course, renowned the world over for his cruelty and vindictive nature but he was still just the one man.
“Maybe,” Fenrir said, though he didn’t sound as if he believed it himself. He did not think himself important enough to be of value to anyone, especially not Lord Voldemort, who had always had such grand plans and schemes. He would simply been a pawn in his game and even though it might have suited him all those years ago when he had first joined the ranks of Lord Voldemort, it was not something he would ever stoop to again.
“You think he wants to capture both of you?” Jenson asked, watching Fenrir closely. He couldn’t understand why, even wanting two of them, the strays wouldn’t just come in and take what they wanted. With the numbers that they had it would be easy enough for them to do.
“I bet he plans on using one of you to control the other,” Lukas said with a frown. He didn’t like to think that anyone would sink to such a level but then he hadn’t had much experience with dark witches and wizards before now. He had been too young to remember much about the previous war.
“We really need to figure out the link between Harry and Voldemort. Whatever it is, I have a feeling that Dumbledore knows something about it. There has to be a reason that Harry is so determined to go back to that school,” Damon said, thinking that the young pup had been far too eager to walk away from his family and his pack. It wasn’t like Harry to be so determined to do something that he simply didn’t want to do.
“You think he’s hiding something from us?” Jenson queried, trying to sound as if he might be at least a little surprised by this but even he wasn’t that naive. He knew that Harry and Clay would all too happily conceal something from the rest of them without second thought. It was in their nature to be secretive about things, which was why he wasn't sure he approved of them influencing his daughter.
“It would not surprise me,” Fenrir said with a frown. He didn’t like that his little mate was being secretive, though, just like Jenson it wouldn’t have surprised him in the least.
He did, however, know that there was plenty that he hadn’t told Harry either. He was aware that Harry wouldn’t tolerate his demands for full disclosure, without an offer of the same in return; normally he would have fought his submissive on the matter but they had enough issues between them for the moment without adding more. There was only so much one relationship could take.
“The boy likes his secrets,” Damon said and this was not said in a positive light.
“He isn’t going to tell you anything unless he decides he wants to,” Lukas pointed out. They all nodded their acknowledgement of this statement; if there was one word that could describe Harry perfectly then it was stubborn. No one and nothing could make that boy part with anything he didn’t want to. If Harry had decided to keep things to himself for the moment there was very little the rest of them could do about it.
“I bet he has told Micha something,” Damon mused, wondering how easy it would be to convince his mate to confide in him what Harry had said. He knew that it was a little underhanded to think in this way but if it kept the pups safe then he would gladly spend a small fortune on caramel chocolate to make it up to Micha later.
“You can’t seriously be considering trying to get Micha to give up Harry’s secrets?” Lukas said with a concerned look on his face. Even he wasn’t stupid enough to think that Micha might give up Harry’s confidence. The two submissive males were too close for that, there was no way that they would disclose each other’s secrets.
“If I asked him he’d tell me,” Damon said confidently; the others, however, looked a little dubious about this.
“No he wouldn’t. He wouldn’t give up Harry like that and you’d only make him feel bad for not telling you, and then for even thinking about betraying Harry. Don’t do it,” Lukas said with a pointed look at Damon.
“What about Clayton?” Jenson said, wondering if the eldest pup would know anything and would be any easier to convince to share his knowledge.
“And Romy,” Lukas countered as Jenson had suggested Clayton. The three pups had become inseparable after all; it was just as likely that Harry had confided in Romy as Clayton.
“You think he might have confided in both them?” Damon asked, looking a little sceptic at this. He didn’t think that Harry would have confided in any of them really, not unless he absolutely had to. He knew Harry far too well to believe that he would risk people finding out what he didn’t want them to know by confiding in others.
“I think he might have told them more than he’s told us,” Lukas said. “Although I highly doubt that he’s told them everything.”
“But they wouldn’t betray Harry any more than Micha would,” Jenson stated. He knew his daughter and it wasn’t in her nature to betray those she cared about. If Harry had told her anything, then she wouldn’t tell them. Clayton was the same, however much he might have disapproved of the oldest pup he knew that Clay’s loyalty to Harry and to the pack could never be challenged or doubted.
“We need for Harry to tell us himself really,” Lukas said and the others all nodded in their agreement. They all knew that it would be the simplest way to find out what they needed to know but they were also aware that it was undoubtedly the most difficult as well, especially if Harry didn’t want to tell them.
“Any bright ideas on that front?” Damon asked, being well aware that if Harry didn’t want them to know, then they weren’t going to be clever about it. He had had enough experience of the cheeky little submissive as he had been growing up to know that Harry kept things very close to his chest, especially when there was trouble brewing.
“Leave Harry,” Fenrir said with a frown. He didn’t like it but all the plotting and scheming to find out what Harry knew was not going to do them any good and he knew this now. It had taken him a while but he was well aware that he wasn’t going to get anything out of his mate by demanding it. Besides, Harry had been through enough of late; they all needed to back off and let him come to them.
“My Alpha…” Jenson queried, worried that this might have been the wrong call to make where Harry was concerned.
“He will tell us in his own time,” Fenrir said firmly. He wasn’t going to be swayed on this decision. Harry had been through enough.
“He’s stubborn…” Damon said, his tone one of warning, causing the Alpha to look at his friend through narrow accusing eyes.
“You think I don’t know,” Fenrir asked, his voice a low, guttural growl.
“He can’t even talk about what happened to him the other night at the school. How do we expect him to tell us about anything else?” Jenson asked, knowing that he was bound to be pushing the limits of the Alpha males patience but he didn’t want them to make the wrong mistake now and have it come back to bite them on the arse later.
“You need to give him time. I think you forget that he’s only fifteen, you all do. He’s a kid, he can’t be expected to handle everything like an adult when he isn’t one,” Lukas reminded them all gently. Even he sometimes forgot how young and innocent Harry was and he thought that it was maybe something they needed to be reminded of now.
“Lukas is right,” Damon said with a sigh. “Harry needs to trust us enough to confide in us himself. If we go snooping around and forcing his friends to tell us, then he might shut down completely. He has done that before.”
“Then we leave Harry be,” Lukas said, agreeing with the Alpha male. None of them wanted for Harry to shut them all out again as he had when he had first come to the pack. Those days were well and truly behind them and that was where they all wanted them to stay. If Harry suddenly went back to curling up under his tree then no one was going to be very happy, especially not Fenrir as that was the last place he wanted his mate to be.
“But what about the strays, what do we do about them?” Jenson asked, not believing that they had really come to any form of conclusion regarding them despite their rather lengthy conversation.
“If they cross into our territory, kill them,” Fenrir said decisively.
“And if they don’t?” Damon asked, curious about whether or not they would be going after them themselves and taking a more proactive approach. This would normally have been Fenrir’s game plan, but it seemed that having a mate had altered the way he thought a little. The Alpha definitely seemed as if he was being a little more cautious than he normally would have been.
“Nothing,” Fenrir said bluntly, looking over at Harry once again. The little submissive was still playing poker with the other pups and Micha, he was even looking slightly more cheerful, which was a relief to say the least.
“Nothing? But, my Alpha…” Jenson said, not quite agreeing with the conclusion that they had come to. He didn’t like the idea that they were sitting around doing nothing while their enemy grew in numbers. Jenson knew Gideon and what he was like; whatever his brother had planned wasn’t going to end well for any of them.
“Until we know more, we do nothing,” Fenrir said, glaring at his Beta wolf, daring him to challenge him further on the matter. This was his decision, he wouldn’t have any member of his pack challenging him on this and if they did then he was more than happy to put them in their place. The mood he was in he would be grateful for someone to punch.
“No one wanders off alone, we stay together, the pups especially are to have a dominant adult with them at all times, no exceptions,” the Alpha concluded, making sure they were all aware that he would regard anyone slacking on this order to be held accountable and punished as he saw fit. He would not put any of their weaker pack members in danger again.
FGHP
As per the Alpha’s rules no one was to go anywhere alone. Harry knew that this was for their safety and that Fenrir would have his reasons behind why he had ordered this but it didn’t help him feel any less suffocated. He wanted to have some space from everyone, a chance to catch his breath and relax but it didn’t look like he was going to get that any time soon.
If Fenrir wasn’t watching him closely then he had another of the dominants hovering in his vicinity and it was seriously starting to get to him. They had played poker most of the afternoon and everything had been fine but, now that evening was setting in and it was beginning to get dark, everyone was on edge ensuring that no one wandered too far. Even the edge of the clearing was out of bounds.
Harry was starting to feel a little smothered to say the least. He knew that he would be in big trouble with everyone if he even considered flying up into his tree again but it was certainly very tempting just so that he had a chance to get his head straightened out. Everything was all in a muddle currently and being crowded like this was not helping him in the least.
“Where are you going, little one?” Fenrir asked as Harry made to go and sit apart from the group currently eating dinner. Harry really wasn’t feeling much like eating and he had hoped that he would have been able to take the opportunity to just sit away from the others and think, apparently he had been mistaken.
“I’m not going far,” Harry said with a sigh, not turning to look at his mate. He was determined that he was going to get some time alone if it killed him and, the way Fenrir was carrying on, that was likely too.
“Come and eat,” Fenrir said with a grunt, trying to keep his voice kind rather than forceful. He didn’t want Harry to feel as if he was ordering him around. The Alpha knew better than to try and force Harry to do anything.
“I’m not hungry, Fen,” Harry tried to explain. He still didn’t turn around, not wanting to face his mate right now. He was therefore surprised when he felt a strong presence right behind him, a warm, tingling breath on the back of his neck.
“You have not eaten all day, little one,” the Alpha said softly, Harry could hear the concern in his voice and felt guilt about putting it there but he was fighting with himself not to step away from his mate and hurt the Alpha’s feelings more. He wasn’t ready to be this close to his mate yet, not after everything that had happened.
“I just need some time, Fen,” Harry said with a tired sigh, “please,” he pleaded.
“Not alone,” Fenrir returned, being adamant on this fact. Out of all the pack members it was Harry who he was concerned about the most as it was him that seemed to be the main target for everyone.
“I’m not leaving the clearing,” Harry tried to argue, “I just need some space.”
“No, little one, not tonight,” Fenrir said, not budging on this. He wouldn’t have Harry going anywhere right now, not without him or someone else. He knew that Harry was struggling to deal with everything that had happened but this was one thing that Fenrir couldn’t allow.
“I could go with him if you like, my Alpha,” Tessie said from behind them. Harry was a little relieved to hear her voice. Out of everyone she wasn’t his first choice for company but at the very least she would respect his need for solitude and silence.
“No,” Fenrir growled, he didn’t want his mate going anywhere with anyone. He wanted Harry to sit and eat with the rest of them and the teenager was pushing his patience on that issue as it was.
Harry whirled around, glaring at his mate furiously. “Fenrir I am going to go and think, either let me go and Tessie can come with me or force me to stay and believe me when I tell you I will make you regret it later.”
Fenrir seemed to be a little startled by this. It seemed that he had underestimated his little mate, who had gone from docile to fiery in zero point five seconds. “Fine,” he growled, glowering at his little mate and Tessie who had edged closer to them, “stay within sight of me.”
Harry rolled his eyes. “Fine,” the teenager grunted in a rather impressive impersonation of his mate, then, realising what it had probably taken the Alpha to agree to this, Harry added, “Thank you.”
Fenrir didn’t look remotely appreciative of his little mate’s gratitude and was frustrated beyond belief at Harry’s manipulations. Harry wasn’t about to let that stop him from getting the space and time he needed, not least because he knew he wouldn’t be getting it again any time soon if the Alpha had anything to say about it.
“Thank you too, by the way,” Harry said to Tessie, who was keeping pace with him as he started to walk away from Fenrir.
“Sure thing,” she said, looking rather surprised to have been thanked. She rarely had much of an appetite and therefore didn’t mind missing dinner; there was always too much for her to worry over to ever have a settled stomach and so the good excuse to take a walk with Harry was most welcome.
“Can I ask you one thing?” Tessie asked after silence had descended between them for a few moments. Harry was deliberating how far he could go before the Alpha’s patience was pushed to the limit and he was dragged forcibly back towards the fire and the others.
“Umm, sure,” Harry said a little uncertainly as he glanced over towards the fire where Fenrir was glaring at them and quickly decided that this was far enough and sat down.
“Are you and the Alpha… are you okay?” She asked timidly. “Only, he seems a little on edge… more than usual I mean.”
“I don’t even know where to begin with answering that one, to be honest,” Harry told her with a sigh. He liked Tessie but he really hoped she wasn’t about to try to get him to start talking about what happened or, for Merlin’s sake, how he was feeling.
“So that would be a not really,” she said giving him a sympathetic look.
“I’m not telling you what happened, I’m not talking about how I feel, mainly because I don’t know myself, but Fenrir… he makes it more… confusing.” Harry said somewhat defensively. “It doesn’t help that this damn mark is bothering me so much, I wish it would just stop.”
“Your mark…?” Tessie asked, turning to look at Harry in question and spotting that his hand seemed to have instinctively started to rub at his neck. “As in the bonds breaking?” she asked with obvious surprise.
“I don’t know,” Harry told her, not really wanting to talk about it and already regretting having mentioned it, “maybe,” he admitted a little grumpily.
“And you don’t want to fix it?” she questioned, remembering how much consideration the young submissive had put into getting the mark in the first place. It seemed bizarre that he would let his bond with the Alpha break now.
“Of course I do!” Harry bit back a little angrily. He didn’t like the accusation that was implied within her words, as though he was disrespecting all werewolf culture and society by not just letting Fenrir have his way with him, no matter what he had been through. He would fight for the bond he had with the Alpha but he was not anything close to being ready to do the things the bond would require.
Tessie, however, was simply confused. “Then why aren’t you?” she asked, watching him carefully as though she might spot some vital clue to figure out the mystery that was Harry Prince.
“It isn’t that simple!” he snapped at her, wishing desperately that she would just let the subject go and that he could stop talking about how he couldn’t do what he knew he needed to do to make things right again.
“You know that if the bond breaks you can’t… it won’t…” Tessie said, struggling to find the words to explain; particularly when Harry turned those rich emerald eyes on her with a heartbreakingly fearful expression that told her that he already had a fair idea what she was trying to tell him; though he still waited for her to actually say it. “If the bond breaks then you can’t have that again, not with him,” she said, his voice soft and hesitant.
Harry stared at her in disbelief, not sure what to make of what she was telling him. He had been relying on that knowledge that they would be able to repair things no matter how long it took, but now he knew that was naught but a childish dream. “But Fenrir said…” he started to say as it dawned on him that Fenrir had told him otherwise.
“Mating marks are powerful ancient magic… once broken they can’t be redone with the same person,” she explained, knowing that there was no point trying for half truths on this. It was clear as day that Harry wanted to salvage his bond with the Alpha and the only way that could possibly happen was if the submissive had all the facts.
She understood that he needed time to recover from whatever trauma he had suffered, but it wouldn’t help him in the long run if he discovered that the bond was lost forever; she might not have know Harry long, but she knew him well enough to know he would put the blame for such a thing firmly on his own shoulders.
“He told me that it could, that it wouldn’t matter,” Harry told her angrily, his voice rising somewhat as he tugged at his own hair in frustration.
“Maybe it doesn’t matter to him,” Tessie suggested. She couldn’t see any other reason why the Alpha might have said such a thing, unless he simply hadn’t know that the mating mark couldn’t be replaced.
“He never told me any of this!” Harry exclaimed getting to his feet and starting to pace back and forwards. “Why does he always have to treat me like a child? I can handle the truth, I don’t get why he doesn’t understand that!” Harry raged. “I wanted this so badly and now I might lose it because of one arsehole trying to rape me! What the fuck did I ever do to deserve any of this? It isn’t fair that I might lose him and all because of one stupid idiot who couldn’t take no for an answer.”
Tessie waited for a few moments, allowing Harry to calm down and get himself under control before she asked. “Feel better?”
“No, not really,” Harry said, feeling completely hopeless and beyond exhausted. He felt overwhelmed and confused and he hated the fact that Fenrir had lied to him even if it was to stop him from feeling pressured into doing something he wasn’t ready for. He sat down next to Tessie once more and ran his hand over his face, trying to ease his frustrations.
“You know, I don’t think it would matter to him if the bond broke. He knows it wasn’t your fault, you didn’t ask for it to happen,” Tessie said gently, watching the teenager carefully, not wanting him to go off on another emotional rant.
“I know but I would know that I let it break and it wouldn’t be the same, not really,” Harry said to her miserably as he caressed at the mating mark on his neck that felt horribly uncomfortable still.
“Then you have to make that choice, if you want to keep the bond,” Tessie told him, looking sympathetically at the teenager. She couldn’t imagine how he felt about all of this, after everything he had been through to almost lose something he loved because of something out of his control. If there had been anything she could have done to help him then she would have done it.
“I’m not ready for that,” Harry said sadly, the thought of being in that position again, even with Fenrir whom he loved and cared for a great deal sent shivers of revulsion down his spine. Just the thought of feeling that vulnerable again made him want to curl up into a ball and cry.
“You just have to try,” Tessie said smiling at him. “Being able to get close to him and touch him, would be a good start.”
“I’m that obvious huh?” Harry asked, glancing over at her and finding a small amount of comfort in her reassuring smile.
“After what you’ve been through it isn’t surprising but I can also see how much he just wants to take care of you,” she told him with a soft smile. “You just have to let him.”
“In his usual overbearing and overprotective ways,” Harry said with a sigh; he would never admit it but he rather liked it. It was the only way he knew that the Alpha male of the pack still cared about him.
“Overprotective and overbearing is better than indifference,” Tessie reminded him and Harry nodded his agreement. He couldn’t even begin to imagine how he would feel if suddenly the Alpha didn’t care anymore. He had had a brief glimpse into that and he had hated it, he didn’t want to feel that again.
“Thank you,” Harry said earnestly to Tessie as he clambered to his feet. “I needed this,” he told her.
“You’re welcome,” she returned as she watched the teenager head slowly back over towards the fire and the rest of the pack.
Harry was more than a little nervous and he had no idea why. It wasn’t as if he was going to jump onto the Alpha’s lap and snog him senseless. Taking a deep breath, Harry took a seat on the log bench beside Fenrir, which seemed to startle the older man. The rest of the pack were trying to be subtle but it was obvious that they were all watching and waiting to see what would happen next.
Tentatively Harry reached his hand over and took his mate’s hand within his own, giving it a light squeeze. The familiar scent and warmth of the Alpha washed over the young submissive; it was the only thing that prevented him from freaking out a little at what he was doing.
Memories of Blaise and Gideon bombarded his mind. Harry closed his eyes and focused on Fenrir. His mate was beside him and Harry knew that the Alpha would never let anyone hurt him. He had to believe that or their bond was never going to be repaired. Even as they sat there together, Harry thought that he felt the discomfort surrounding the mark ease ever so slightly.

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Review responses:
LeVeen – I believe this chapter is a little kinder. The bond is breaking, but it hasn’t broken yet. Yes the chapter 40 cliff hanger was a little mean, so yes you are probably fortunate to have not read 40 until 41 was posted.
Jan – They are certainly going to try to keep their bond from breaking, but Harry is a little way from being ready to undergo what he would need to do. He is trying to work through things still at the moment.
DragonStar01 – Thank you for your kind words; it has been a difficult week with the problems we have had with this story on FF dot net, so it is the words of support like yours that help us keep going even when we have been knocked down.
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