Forbidden Rapture | By : Marionne25 Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Snape/Hermione Views: 49871 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 8 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter and am not making money from this story. |
Author's Notes:
Back here. Sorry it took a while. The previous week was spent preparing some of my students for the first batch of recital and this coming week another busy one as on Sunday the final batch of my students will have a recital.
Also tending to some house work and chores as I'm planning to move out of the house and get my own place nearer areas where I teach and work. I also had a gig the previous day so I'm all dead and tired and all that.
But here is a chapter and I do hope you enjoy this one.
Things will get even more dark.
I wanted to focus on certain points on this chapter that's why it has only one memory on it and the main scene where Hermione and Snape finally meets - yes, spoiler, they finally meet.
A lot of psychological things will be up and about in this chapter.
Review and comments are very much welcome. Please let me know what you think.
Lots of love
xx
Chapter Forty One
Words
“What are you doing here?” a soft voice asked.
Hermione gasped and the small bottle in her hand slipped from her fingers.
Snape’s reflexes were quite fast that he caught the bottle just in time before it crashed to the floor.
He looked up and stared at the ingredient’s name then his black eyes slowly went up to Hermione.
She was standing before him, eyes wide from shock and facial features obviously scared of his presence.
“Miss Granger.” his voice silkily whispered. “I asked you a question.”
Hermione stared at him and swallowed hard.
“Professor, I was just-“
“Careful.” Snape warned her, eyes glinting. “Potter and Weasley already lost points this week for certain aggressions. You do not want Gryffindor House losing more points.”
Hermione stared up at him biting her lower lip and blinking a few times.
She as obviously contemplating what to tell him and Snape knew that she was at the verge of lying.
“I was just checking a potion ingredient.” Hermione said. “As replacement.”
“This one?” he asked her pointing at the bottle in his hand. “Be careful of your words, Miss Granger.”
Hermione nodded.
“I was just looking for that-“
“Not boomslang skin?” he asked her. “Lacewing? Not brewing another of that favourite potion of yours? What is that again? Oh, Polyjuice Potion.”
“Professor, I wasn’t going to brew-“
“Silence!” Snape angrily said.
Hermione took a step back and swallowed hard.
He gently placed the bottle away and walked forward her with arms folded.
Hermione coward at his tall and darkened form before her.
“Out after curfew hours, sneaking into the storage of your Potions Classroom, stealing from the private storage of the professor-“
“Professor Snape, I wasn’t going to steal – I just needed to- “
“I have more than enough reasons to take off fifty points from your house. Give me a reason why I shouldn’t.”
Hermione’s eyes were already teary.
She should not have gone there tonight and should have sat in the Gryffindor Tower or the library and kept her research the legal way.
But why should she?
When Harry was obviously illegally brewing his Potions assignments and exams?
No, she wasn’t jealous that he was advancing in their Potions with Slughorn and excelling in the subject like never before – she was worried, dead worried that his trust for the stupid book would lead him into greater danger in return to all the glory it was giving him at the moment.
“Because I really need to prove something, professor.” Hermione managed to say.
Snape’s eyebrows raised at her.
His face was passive but Hermione could tell that he was willing to listen.
“And that would be?” he asked her.
“It’s – it’s an ingredient that-“
“Miss Granger, I’m personally getting bored with your lies and stutter. I will not ask again. What are you doing here – sneaking in an empty classroom, possibly stealing from the teacher’s private storage, after curfew hours?”
Hermione heavily breathed out.
Snape looked down at her and waited with the same determination she had drawn over her face.
Hermione sighed heavily and tried her best to look confident and tried to keep a passive face at the same time.
She rolled her eyes at him and sighed heavily.
“Don’t give me that look!” Snape warned her dangerously.
Hermione stared back at him with impatience and defiance.
“I need to check an ingredient.” Hermione began. “Something that is written in the Potions textbook, sir, if it is somewhere or anywhere replaceable for the potion it was used for because the Potion instructions says it cannot be replaced.”
Snape stared at her as if trying to comprehend everything that she has just said.
“You’re trying to prove or disprove the book?” he simply asked her.
Hermione blinked.
He actually got what she was trying to say because she thought all her words came out weirdly due to her fear of him.
“Yes.” Hermione sighed again.
“Which one?” Snape asked.
“Oh.” Hermione said. “Well, the book says to use this particular ingredient but I want to know why it may be replace by that ingredient sir when the books says it cannot.”
“Who says it could be replaced?” Snape asked. “Who said it may be replace if the textbook did say it couldn’t be?”
Hermione not didn’t know what to say nor answer him.
Her face turned slightly pale again and she avoided his gaze.
They were enough signs for Snape to know that she was keeping something from him.
He did not want to be kept in the dark at all costs.
“Miss Granger. I will not ask-“
“Just a note I found, sir.” Hermione quickly said. “Random. Just a note and-“
“Enough.” Snape said extending his hand to hers. “I want to see your copy of Advance Potion Making.”
“My what?” Hermione asked flabbergasted despite that she heard him clearly.
“Your Potions book. I want to see it. Now.” Snape demanded of her.
Hermione looked up at his black eyes and knew that they were seeing through her soul and thoughts.
Harry did mention that Snape had been able to penetrate through minds and has done so to him the previous year.
Hermione quickly looked away from him.
“It’s in the Gryffindor Common Room, sir.” Hermione quickly said. “I don’t have it-“
“Fine.” Snape spat at her lowering her hand. “Tomorrow. After your Defense Against the Dark Arts class with me you shall hand over that Potions book of yours.”
“But my class with professor Slughorn-“
“Will not happen until next week again. Tomorrow is Friday, Miss Granger. Yes?”
Hermione stared up at him biting her lower lip.
It was of hatred and not of any emotion this time.
“Yes.” Hermione answered through gritted teeth.
Snape merely nodded at her but Hermione knew that he was smirking somewhere in that pale face of his.
He seemed quite fond upon enforcing something to her that she didn’t want to do nor understood why she had to do it but had to and would do so anyway.
“You may go.” Snape simply said moving aside to make way for her.
Hermione nodded and quickly went for the door before Snape would change his mind.
Hermione was halfway when Snape called her back.
“Yes, professor?” she asked slowly turning.
“That bottle in your hand. Kindly put it down and leave it right there.”
Hermione silently cursed.
She had kept a small bottle of another ingredient in her other hand inside her pocket.
He did know how to read minds.
“Yes, professor.” Hermione quietly said avoiding his gaze and quickly putting the bottle back down.
Snape watched in satisfaction as she quickly went back to the door and left without another word, probably scared to her wits.
He could not help but grin at the sight of her as she left the room.
“I’d be guarding from the outside.”
Snape barely heard Draco’s voice and the sound of the closing metal door and magical seal.
But he did feel the very heavy and tight tug that came around his waist and shoulder blades.
Sooner than he had completely realized and comprehended things clearly, he could feel the side of his face damp and cold from Hermione’s tears.
“Are you alright? How are they treating you here?” her voice was small and seemed to be a faraway echo from him.
It was so unreal yet it was right then and there, happening before him.
His black eyes could barely contain and comprehend what he was seeing.
Hermione was sitting next to him on the wooden bench, holding him tight and close with face full of tears.
He had seen her in the trial court rooms from the past eleven trials and but had never seen her this close nor had her holding him this tight and close ever before.
“Severus?” her voice was soft and warm and angelic.
The small of her soft hand was right at the side of his cheeks while the other held his other hand.
Snape blinked.
He had to come down to the reality facing him.
He had to come and see Hermione for the reality they were in.
Snape drew his hand back from her and drew his face away.
Hermione’s hand was left in midair but she caught is hand back to hers.
She didn’t let his hand go even if he tugged over her hand.
“Severus-“
“Let me go.” Snape whispered looking away from her and trying to remove her hand from his.
Hermione’s forehead creased together and she looked up at him in fear and confusion.
“Severus, I’m here, I’m going to-“
“I said let me go-“ Snape repeated placing his hand over hers and gently removing it.
Hermione stared up at him and a flash of anger passed momentarily across her eyes.
Snape was trying to avoid her gaze but he didn’t miss it.
“No, I’m here.” Hermione said as tears continue to streak down her face. “I’m here, Sev, I’m going to help you. Draco and I are going to-“
“No. I said let me go-“
“NO!” Hermione angrily said grasping his hands tightly. “No, don’t you dare say that!”
Snape looked back at her and saw that she was breathing hard, face red in tears and hands shaking holding his.
He had not seen her this worried, this scared and this determined all at the same time in the entire time that he had been with her.
She was looking up at him with controlled anger and eyes filled with emotions.
Snape didn’t want to look at her and that was way more than obvious to Hermione.
And that made her worry even more.
Why did he not want to look at her?
“Did I do something wrong?” her small voice asked him. “Severus, I did everything I could and I’m still trying-“
“Stop it.” Snape said looking away from her. “Stop whatever it is you’re doing.”
Hermione stared at him.
His voice had always been low and quiet, a deep and dark drawl but there was something darker in there as he spoke.
Something like a dark tunnel of hopelessness.
He was obviously giving up on the situation – on their situation.
It scared her.
In all the years they’ve been together, no matter their ups and downs, he had always been on his feet – he always had an answer, he always had a way to make her feel sure and secure whatever fate threw at them.
And now, hearing him giving up like this – it didn’t sound right.
It didn’t sound like him at all.
“No.” Hermione said taking his hand again into hers. “No, Severus, I’m not going to let you be here in Azkaban – I’m not going to let you die an unlawful and cruel death that they’re going to-“
“I said, you must go.” Snape simply told her. “You don’t belong in this place. You are not supposed to be here. You should go now.”
“No.” Hermione defiantly said letting his hand go. “No, you don’t tell me what I should and should not do-“
“I’m telling you what you should do because you don’t belong here.” Snape said in an emotionless tone. “And you know that your presence here isn’t right-“
“You do not tell me what is and isn’t right!” Hermione angrily spat at him.
Snape looked sharply up at her, eyes wide.
Hermione was breathing hard and was staring at him with a surprised look over her face as if she couldn’t understand herself why she was flaring up like that towards him.
Snape looked away and slightly inched away from her.
“No!” Hermione cried, quickly alarmed that he was losing interest in her presence there.
“No, Severus. Wait, look at me. I’m here.. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to yell at you – I was just – it’s just-
“I suggest you go.” Snape softly said and his voice became clearer as if regaining his usual composure and authority. “You shouldn’t even be here in the first place, Miss Granger.”
Snape slowly stood up and moved away from the bench.
“What did you call me?” Hermione asked, voice constricted in her throat. “What did you just call me?”
Snape didn’t stop from walking away from her nor did he stop to look back.
“I asked you.” Hermione’s voice was shaking. “What did you just call me!”
Snape stopped walking but he didn’t look back at her.
Fists were clenching at his sides as if he was restraining himself over something.
Suddenly, he felt another heavy tug as if the stone cell walls collapsed right at his back.
He felt a pair of arms embrace him tightly from the back and Hermione’s face was buried right at his dirty prisoner’s clothes.
He was quiet and unmoving.
The only sounds that could be heard in the room were the echoes of Hermione’s dreadful cries.
“Please don’t do this.” Hermione said. “I came, I came here for you.”
Snape remained still, silent.
He remained passive and unmoved by her tears.
“Please say something.” Hermione cried tightening her embrace around his waist. “Please, Severus. I came here for you. Please tell me what to do to help you because I don’t know anymore and you can’t go to Azkaban.”
Snape closed his eyes, wanting nothing but to be deaf at that very moment to not hear her calls of his name, her begging and crying for him.
It was a nightmare he always had since the three months he had been there at Azkaban.
He had always dreamed of her wailing, her crying.
“Severus.” Hermione begged him, holding him to her body so tight and so close that he felt as if his ribs were going to break. “Please say something. Please tell me what to do, please.”
“Live your life, Hermione.” Snape softly whispered slowly placing his hands over hers around his waist. “Go and live your life.”
He gently disentangled himself from her and lowered her hands right at the side of her body without having to turn back to her.
He was placing himself in a disposition that gave Hermione the impression that he did not only not want to look back at her but also to completely ensure that they did not have any physical contact.
“Please don’t say that.” Hermione cried, quickly moving to the other side to face him.
She stared at his physique.
Looking at him this close, he had not only seemed to age roughly and fast but he also looked like he had already been kissed by the Dementors by the aura he had given.
He looked thinner than she had ever recalled him, his hair dry that it had ever been, long and unkept.
His face barely shaven and his eyes deep, darker and hollow.
His hands also felt rough to touch and his clothes were obviously out of the question of how bad he looked.
Looking up at him made her guilty even more for some reason and for some weird feeling, she didn’t understand why she felt like she was staring up and holding a man very different from the one she had known and had for the last ten years.
Snape looked like a completely different person than the one she was about to marry three months ago.
“Severus, please look at me.” Hermione begged him, crying. “Please.”
Her gentle hands moved again.
The other she placed over his chest to feel his heartbeat and the other moved up to his face and gently moved his face to her.
Black eyes met brown ones and there was some sort of understanding, some connection in there that was slowly dying away.
“Severus, please tell me what to do.” Hermione whispered moving her face to him. “Please tell me what to do.”
“I already told you.” Snape whispered back at her.
He didn’t move away from her touch nor did he let her hand away from his chest but his hands were kept at his sides.
Hermione looked up at him and in the depths of the black eyes.
She didn’t understand it but she was suddenly scared.
There were no answer in those black eyes that she had been hoping and praying to see.
He always had answers but now there was none in those eyes.
“I can’t let you die here.” Hermione cried at him. “I won’t let you die.”
Hermione moved her face to him but then they both heard something loud like a bang outside the door.
They both looked up at the doorway but heard Draco call back at them.
“Everything’s alright.” Draco’s voice echoed. “Just a guard, woke up from my spell. All is good.”
Hermione’s heart was beating fast as she turned back at Snape.
He was not looking at her.
And for that split moment, she saw him – the man she had lived with and loved for so long
She saw in the depths of the black eyes the man she wanted to marry.
But the look over his eyes had gone as quickly as it had come.
It seemed like it only passed the moment that Hermione’s attention wasn’t with him – as if the man was merely stealing a glance at her.
“No, look at me.” Hermione said now placing both her hands around his neck and moving her body close against him. “Please, please, just look at me.”
Snape didn’t say anything but he slowly looked down upon her.
“I’m going to find a way.” Hermione whispered at him. “I promise you, I will find a way to save you out of this – I will do whatever it takes, please, please just stay there and hold on – I will find a way- “
“There is no way, Hermione.” Snape said moving his face closer to her. “Hermione, please, just go.”
It was the first time that his voice turned into that familiar warm tone that she had known.
Slowly, she felt his hands moved up around her and had pulled her closer to him.
He didn’t touch her face but he held her around the waist – not too close to kiss her but close enough to keep their proximity into an intimate range.
It felt as though he was still restraining himself to touch her and hold her very close but he was losing a very hard battle.
“I refuse that.” Hermione whispered holding his face in place to ensure that he doesn’t look away from her. “Please, just trust me when I tell you that I’d do anything to save your life – I promise I will, I will save you the way you saved me. Severus, please.”
“Hermione, you don’t understand.” Snape said facing her then and making sure that their eyes made full contact. “I didn’t save your life. You were just at that very circumstance and place where I was and I just had to-“
“You sacrificed your life for me.” Hermione pressed on, unwilling to listen to his words, “You ensured that I was safe in all those years – you took good care of me, you made sure I had everything, you helped me out of that curse and-“
“And that’s where it should have stopped.” Snape said firmly. “It should have stopped right there. I should not have let you come back and should not-“
“No, that was my choice.” Hermione said shaking her head. “I chose to be with you in all those years after the curse. I don’t regret any of those – do you regret-“
“I don’t regret it, Hermione.” Snape said moving closer to her and holding her closer unable to stop himself. “I don’t regret any of it but I should not have tolerated any of it.”
“What?” Hermione asked, confused. “What are you talking-“
“I should not have tolerated anything in between that has happened. You were there at the ambush and I should have saved your life and it should have stayed that way. I could have done many things more than one to ensure you were safe and at the same time let the Order-“
“No, you couldn’t have told them-“ Hermione cried firmly holding him this time. “We both know that you couldn’t have done so because that would have ensured their deaths if the curse got to them-“
“There were ways, Hermione.” Snape said. “There were ways if I wanted to, but I didn’t want to – I was so lost and confused and alone with you and I just didn’t know what really-“
“And those are your flaws but I forgive you.” Hermione said crying harder.
She held his face closer to her, placing her hands firmly at the side of his cheeks.
“Look at me, Severus.” Hermione said trying to control her tears. “I forgive you, you hear me? I forgive you for everything that was and that wasn’t-“
“You shouldn’t.” Snape said. “I’ve – I’ve taken your life and the freedom you should have – I had – I had – you shouldn’t- no, you should not-“
“Please, this isn’t the time for this-“
“No, this is the time for this.” Snape said firmly.
He looked down at her and his expression changed.
There was something so determined in his eyes as he held her closer this time.
“Hermione, you didn’t belong with me and I took the opportunity to have you, to keep you and that’s all there is for you to understand-“
“No, you saved me from that curse –“
“And I should have stayed on that track. I shouldn’t have prolonged that right after. Seven years had been over and I should have done what I should have –“
“No, that was my choice. You hear me?” Hermione cried at the verge of wailing at him. “That day – that day at the train station – that was – that was me – that – no, Severus! Listen to me!”
“No, you listen to me!” Snape called at her taking both her hands into him.
He held her by the wrists and Hermione was caught by the pain and surprise.
He held her tight enough to press a bit of pain to keep her attention to him but not too tight to cause her pain.
“Severus-“
“Hermione, it’s over.” Snape breathed out at her. “This is over. Whatever it all were, whatever you thought we had, whatever it is you think it still happening – they’re all gone – it’s over. You hear me? It’s all over, Hermione.”
Hermione’s face turned red and there was that awestruck look over her face as if she had been the one put into a death sentence.
The crestfallen look over her face gave Snape the impression that he should keep her on that very trail of thought to let the reality of things sink into her.
“No, it’s not – there isn’t – there should be a way-“
“There isn’t a way.” Snape told her gripping her a bit harder. “There isn’t a way, Hermione. Not this time. There’s no way out of this and you should accept that. I’m not for you. This isn’t for us and it’s over as it should have been a long time ago-“
“Don’t you love me?” she suddenly asked me. “Don’t you have faith in us? Don’t you believe I can get you out of here?”
Snape didn’t answer her.
His eyes averted somewhere ago.
“No, look at me.” Hermione demanded. “Answer me. Don’t you think I can get you out of here?
Snape still didn’t answer her.
“I asked you!” Hermione cried at him. “Answer me!”
Snape remained passive.
“Please.” Hermione begged, shaking him. “Severus, just answer me!”
Snape didn’t say anything. His eyes moved to the side again.
“Let my hand go, Hermione.” Snape gently commanded. “Let my hand-“
“No!” Hermione screamed. “I asked you a question!”
“This isn’t the things you should be-“
“No!” Hermione desperately cried. “You don’t tell me what to and what not to do! You don’t dismiss me and set aside how and what I feel!”
Snape looked up at her.
Something again was different in her tone, something beyond anger and frustration were coming out of her mouth.
He looked up at her and something painful was growing at the depths of his chest.
“I’m not- “
“No! Not anymore – you don’t tell me here what I can and I can’t do!” Hermione angrily said. “You don’t tell me what to do and you answer me when I ask you a question!”
Snape stared in complete awe.
She looked up at him with a face filled with tears but with a tone that was far and beyond pain that he had ever heard of her.
“Hermione-“
“Don’t you love me?” Hermione asked again, breathing hard and heavy and trying to control her voice. “Don’t you love me, Severus? Were all those years just a lie?”
Snape’s heart skipped a beat.
No, ofcourse not a lie.
Whatever may have happened, he was sure of one thing – he always loved her.
He might have shown her a different way of expressing his love and had acted differently from what he felt for her but he was sure that he loved her more than anything or anyone else in all these years.
Hermione stared back at him, determined to get the answer she demanded for.
He reached out for her but Hermione inched away from him.
“Answer my question.” Hermione whispered. “Were all those years just a lie?”
She stared up at him with wide eyes, with a look of both hatred and anger in her face.
“Did you not love me?” Hermione asked. “Did you not love me even just for that part of our memory in time?”
Snape’s heart suddenly burst into a thousand pieces.
Shards and shards of it felt like they scrambled all over the place.
Her words and the sound of doubt in them made the deepest impact inside of him.
He could lie to her and tell her he had given up, he had given them up and that he was willing to see her start a new life again – even without him – but to hear her give up was far different.
Hearing her giving up on him or doubtful of his promises broke the depths of him.
“Hermione-“ he reached out for her but she made a step back.
Her heart was also breaking.
Her whole word was falling apart and it felt like everything that she had endured were just a lie.
Why couldn’t he answer?
Did she waste her life with him?
Did he really steal what life she as supposed to have?
Was Harry and the rest of the world telling her the truth then?
That Severus Snape, did not only steal her life from her, her youth and innocent but had also corrupted her mind and soul and destroyed the depths of her by lying of his love for her?
“Just answer me, please.” Hermione cried stepping away from him. “Severus, did you not love me?”
Snape stare at her.
He didn’t know how to speak to her now.
He wasn’t sure how to tell her and explain everything to her.
Ofcourse he loved her more than anything else in the world but he had to admit it to himself that he had made all the mistakes possible that led them to their present situation.
He wasn’t innocent.
If any, he has taken and corrupted her innocence when he was supposed to protect her – when he was the only Order member capable of doing it for her, for the Order and for Harry Potter.
He deserved Azkaban.
He deserved more and beyond the Dementor’s Kiss.
A loud bang came again from the other side of the door but neither of them minded the sound.
Hermione was avidly anticipating and waiting for his answer.
Snape stared back at her with the same passive expression now with his black eyes cold.
“Severus, I want to-“
“I didn’t.” Snape answered unblinkingly. “I didn’t love you. I just wanted you. There’s a big difference.”
Hermione blinked as she stood before him.
Her heart seemed to have stopped beating completely.
She stared at him, mouth slightly open and ears trying to listen to his words as if awaiting for something more, something else that he would say.
It was as if she wished that she had heard incorrectly but the way he was looking at her told her otherwise.
“You’re lying.” Hermione dismissively said. “You’re just bluffing – you just want me-“
“You’re right, I wanted you.” Snape said. “I wanted you, Hermione but there’s nothing more to that. I wanted you but that didn’t mean that I love you.”
Hermione was breathing heavy now, heart palpitating painfully.
“I don’t..” she refused to accept what she has just heard. “I don’t understand – you’re lying to me – you’re just-“
“You’re supposed to be smart.” Snape coldly said. “You’re supposed to understand what all those years meant, Hermione. If I didn’t tell you I love you, would you have done to me – for me – everything you’ve done all those years?” he asked her.
Hermione stared at him and it was as if all the years were suddenly being bombarded right before her eyes.
Her memories with him were suddenly being forced inside her head, reminding her of everything they’ve done – of everything Snape demanded of her – and everything she did, she gave and gave up towards him.
“No.” Hermione cried and this time it was different.
Her tears and the sound of it resembled that of how she cried to him at the earlier years she had stayed with him.
“Severus, you’re lying to me – you’re just telling me these things-“
“Would you have kissed me if I didn’t tell you I love you?” he asked moving a step forward her.
Hermione made one step back and stared back at him, shaking her head.
“Would you have laid yourself all those years on that very bed if I didn’t tell you the same thing?” he asked her, his voice and eyes darkening by the moment.
“Severus, you told me – you’ve – but you said –“
“Would you have let me touch you, caress you – kiss every inch and part of you had you not heard those sweet words?”
Hermione’s tears were nonstop as she stared up at him and backed away.
Something dark and unwanted was growing in his stance that scared Hermione.
It was as if he was completely a different man now – the very man that he was way long before those ten years began.
“Severus, you’re scaring me – please stop – please just tell me-“
“No, you want to hear what you want to hear but you wouldn’t want to hear what really things are, right?” he asked her as he continued to advance towards her.
Hermione’s backward steps had led them back against the very well.
She looked up at him with the same fear in her eyes that she had years ago.
She was looking not at the man she love but at the man she feared all those years within the walls of Hogwarts.
“Would you have let me taste you, sweetheart, if I didn’t tell you those loving words you wanted to hear-“
“Stop it –“ Hermione warned staring up at him as he stood a few feet from him, blocking her against the wall.
“Yes, sweetheart, you wouldn’t have look at me nor let me touch you if you didn’t tell me-“
“Stop it!” Hermione angrily cried. “Stop it! Stop it! Stop what you’re saying! They’re not true – they’re all – you’re lying – you’re-“
“Look at me!” Snape said grabbing her wrists now and blocking her against the wall. “Look at me, Hermione.”
Hermione shook her head as he tightly held her wrists.
She was moving – she was moving against him.
She didn’t want his hands on her wrists, she didn’t want his proximity towards her and most importantly, she didn’t want to hear those words he was saying.
She had led him to those things, she had let him do those things to him – because she was scared, she was damn scared of him.
“But you said – you said you – stop it, please, please stop it-“
“I told you I love you because I wouldn’t be able to have and take what I wanted if I didn’t, sweetheart.” Snape emphasized on the word and Hermione tried to push him away.
He didn’t move nor let her go.
He blocked her against the wall and ensured that she couldn’t move away from him
Hermione screamed and moved against him, desperately wishing that someone would come in, that some sort of help would come and save her from his advantages.
“No, please – please – go away – please, let me go – let my hands go-“
“Hermione, this is what things really are – and I tell you that you should go because nothing will ever change – this is-“
“You love me – you said – you – we were going to be happy- we were –“
“Look at me and tell me you want to be happy with me!” Snape angrily said forcing her face to move up and look at him. “Look at me!”
Hermione, crying and fearful as she was slowly looked up at him.
A pair of scary, dark black eyes were staring back down at her.
His gaze was so still and sharp that she felt them embodying her, taking hold of her and controlling her emotions.
She felt so vulnerable against his advances and her soul forced to be bare by his sharp gaze.
“No, please – stay away – please don’t – please don’t touch me – please-“ Hermione cried at him moving herself free from him.
“I’m not what you thought I was, Hermione.” Snape whispered but this time his voice was gentle and his grip upon her had slowly lessened.
He was suddenly warm and gentle towards her but his gaze held her in place.
“I loved you,” Hermione cried at him. “I always had.. I just.. you told me you love me.” Hermione muttered the words as she looked up at him.
Snape stared down at her knowing that he couldn’t hurt her any further.
But he had to.
He had to lie to her and hurt her because that was the only way for her to move on with her life.
“I told you what I had to tell you in order to get things done.” Snape said. “In order to get the things that I wanted and nothing more.”
Hermione shook her head at him and stared up at those black eyes, forcing herself to not get scared and forcing herself to look at the depths of the soul she knew was still there somewhere.
Hermione look up at him and not really knowing what took place inside of her, she grabbed his face and suddenly kissed him.
Snape was too taken aback to say anything nor to move away from her and against her.
It was the very first time their lips had touched in those three long months they’ve been separated.
He had never felt so assured in such a long time.
The warmth of her lips travelled to his lips and all over and across his body.
It felt like all the very cold nights spent at Azkaban had been forgotten by her warm kiss.
Her lips were still as soft as he has remembered it, as innocent as he first kissed them and as sweet as it always had been.
He moved his head an inch away but Hermione’s hands were fast.
She had them around his neck in minutes and were forcing herself towards him, inviting him, moving him to kiss her back.
Her tongue moved gently out of her mouth, gently teasing his lips to open, to accept her kiss to take her in as he had always done so without reluctance, without fear and without second thoughts and merely taking her back.
She moaned in his mouth as she forced her kiss to deepen against his lips until he takes it.
And sooner than he could stop himself, Snape found himself softening against her arms.
His hands had slowly relaxed, his head slowly tilted forward towards her and slowly but surely, his mouth moved and opened and he slowly accepted her kiss and returned it.
But that only took a split moment.
The moment that Hermione felt him accept her kiss and return it, she had suddenly let go.
She titled her head back at him and pulled herself hard and fast away from the kiss.
Snape opened his eyes and looked up at her.
But before he could comprehend what has happened, Hermione’s hand was fast and hard against his cheek.
He felt as if his jaw moved at her slap.
He looked up at her, eyes wide in shock.
“Liar.” Hermione breathed out angrily. “Liar. You told me you didn’t love me but I know you’re feeling otherwise-“
“Hermione-“
“I will get you out of here and you don’t trust me?” she asked him moving herself from him.
Snape opened his mouth to say something but Hermione shook her head.
“I will get you out of here, whatever it takes. I’ll do anything to get you out-“
“I’m no longer redeemable, Hermione.” Snape simply said, his face turning passive again. “I’m no longer redeemable and you should go and move on with your life, Hermione. Forget about me, forget whatever it was-“
“No, you don’t get to tell me what to do anymore. I will get you out of here. There is a way – there must be a way out of this place-“
Snape moved forward in protest and was to say something when the metal doors slowly opened.
They both looked up, anticipating that Draco would tell them that their time was up and that he had to take Hermione back with him.
But it wasn’t Draco who revealed himself by the door.
It was Harry.
Hermione’s eyes widened in surprised.
Snape’s black eyes turned wide all the same and he stare back at the boy who was pointing his want right up at him.
“Potter.” Snape breathed out as Hermione quickly moved in front of him to protect him.
He moved a step but Hermione blocked him and placed herself before Snape.
“Harry.” Hermione breathed out, eyes alarmed at the wand raised in his hand.
Harry stared at the both of them with a quiet stance that scared Hermione even more.
Harry, silent as he was with only a wand raised, was way scary than him saying anything at all.
“Harry, please let me explain-“
“Malfoy’s alive and outside.” Harry slowly said with an amused tone. “He would probably be out for a couple of hours-“
“What did you do to him?” Hermione asked alarmed. “What did you-“
“Ssh, ‘Mione.” Harry said closing the door behind him and taking a few steps forward them. “Malfoy is not included in this meeting. Things need to get done so I suggest that the both of you sit down.”
“Potter, lower your wand-“ Snape whispered as he gently moved a step forward but Hermione held her place
He felt Hermione open her other hand in his back, signaling him to take her hand.
Snape gently and softly took her hand.
Hermione breathed and held it firmly for a moment.
“Harry, please-“ Hermione said keeping her eyes on Harry’s raised wand.
“Sssh, ‘Mione. I said sit down and things will be done here in order.”
“Harry, I’m begging you, please just lower your-“
“Where were we?” Harry asked them as he slowly pulled a chair opposite the two of them and sat down.
“Harry-“
“Are you going to sit down and listen to my proposition or am I just going to kill him?” he asked nodding towards Snape.
Snape pressed Hermione’s hand behind her back and they both slowly sat down opposite Harry.
Harry’s eyes were out of its right context.
He was staring at them like he was a completely different person.
His eyes were unblinking and all kindness and warmth in them had vanished completely.
There was nothing but a cold stare and a pair of emerald eyes filled with hatred glared back at the two of them.
“What do you want?” Snape asked through gritted teeth.
Harry’s eyes flashed right at him.
He kept his wand up and alert and ready to strike and kill anytime.
“What I want?” Harry asked with an insulting laugh. “Are you kidding me?”
Hermione stared up at him and recognized that scary mocking tone he had.
“Harry-“
“Maybe it’s you who needs something.” Harry said staring up at Snape and completely ignoring Hermione.
Snape’s black eyes glinted but he didn’t say anything.
“No, I don’t need anything from you-“
“So maybe I should kill you now?” Harry offered. “Lessens your anticipation and fear of dying at the hands of the Dementors.”
“I’m not scared of the Dementors.” Snape said. “Nor am I of you.”
Harry didn’t look amused at all.
His face showed no emotion at all.
“Good then.” Harry said raising his wand. “So maybe then I could just-“
“No, Harry please-“ Hermione begged reaching out for him.
Harry looked up at her and back at Snape.
“You were saying something awhile ago, Hermione?” Harry asked her looking up at her with a warm smile. “I’m sorry, I couldn’t help but eavesdrop and overheard some things.”
Hermione stared at Snape then back at Harry.
“What are you saying?” she asked firmly.
“You said you’re willing to do whatever it takes for his life, yes?” he asked her slowly.
Hermione stared back at him, scrutinizing his facial expression and words but got nothing from it.
“What do you want, Harry?” Hermione asked him. “What do you want?”
“The question is what are you willing to do ‘Mione in exchange for his life?” he asked her.
Hermione didn’t say anything.
He had been outside this whole time, listening to everything that they had been talking about.
“What do you want, Harry?” Hermione asked him back. “What do you want in exchange for you to get him out of this?”
Snape stared up at Hermione.
He had never hear her that brave before.
Harry raised an eyebrow at her.
“You know what I want.” Harry said clearly. “The question I have for you is that – what are you willing to do in exchange for his life?”
Silence in the stone cold room echoed.
Snape stared at Harry with such anger he could barely control.
Hermione stared back at Harry, observing him and his gaze and looking for any loophole in his offer.
But after a moment that seemed like forever, Hermione breathed out and moved herself closer to the table.
Snape held her arm beneath but she moved his hand away and stared straight towards Harry.
“Well?” Harry asked, awaiting her response with an indifferent smile over his face.
“Anything.” Hermione answered with a very determined look over her face. “Anything, Harry.”
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