All That You Leave Behind

42





Three hours later, Ginny reappeared, a huge grin on her face. “Hey guys!” she called out, dumping her bag to the kitchen floor and hurrying through the house to look for the two men.



She found them sitting in the living room, a strained silence between them.



“What happened?” She asked, half exasperated, well knowing what the two men were like when their tempers were roused. “What on earth did you get up to whilst I was gone?”



Severus rose smoothly and smiled warmly at her. “What could we get up to, without you?” he queried, as she pulled him close for a hug.



Harry rose, looking a little pink, but he too joined in the hug. All three stood together, revelling in their closeness.



At last Ginny pulled away, “Oh, I needed that,” she admitted as she returned to the kitchen for her luggage.



Harry followed her and pulled her close for a gentle kiss that stretched on and on.



“Wow!” she murmured, as they at last drew apart.



“I missed you,” Harry said truthfully. “How was the match?”



She shrugged. “Complete whitewash, which I knew it would be the minute I learned Dex Flewwell was ill and had been replaced. It’s really difficult to make a match sound interesting when one team is being flattened. Still, I got some good interviews in the evening at the hotel to make up for it, and learned some really interesting gossip!” She waggled her eyebrows at him suggestively, knowing he wouldn’t ask. Sometimes she missed not having vast numbers of girl friends to share news with. Men just weren’t that interested in who was secretly seeing whom.



“Will your report be in the evening edition?” Harry asked. He picked up her bag and followed her out of the kitchen and up the stairs to their room.



“Yes, but I’ll need to go into the office for a bit this afternoon, just to check everything is ok.”



They talked normally together as they walked, and left Severus standing in the living room feeling more wretched than he’d felt in a long time. Was this how it would be now? Whenever Ginny was around he would be ignored and Harry would devote all his attention to her to somehow try and make up for his treacherous feelings? Severus wished he could hate Ginny, wished it was possible to ignore her good qualities, the happiness she brought Harry, and the happiness she brought him, and hate her.



Severus fought to control his rising bitterness. He had received the admission he had wanted from Harry, an admission which had made his soul sing when he had heard those words. So what if he had to share Harry? Harry was having to balance his feelings for two people he loved, an awful task Severus would not have wanted to attempt. He supposed that he could wait for a few stolen moments with Harry, when Ginny wasn’t around. And, his feelings for Harry weren’t just about sex, although he did long to be physical with the younger man, it was love, as annoying and inconvenient as that was.







All the time that Harry spent with Ginny, he was thinking of how wonderful it felt to be close to her again but also of the time when she would leave him and Severus alone and the kisses he planned to give the older man to apologise for having to ignore him now.



He blushed a little, feeling dreadful. He stood next to his wife, listening happily to her babbling and was imagining another man’s lips. He had wanted her here, had wanted to share all the confusion he had felt whilst she had been away, but now he felt no confusion. Guilt, yes, but no confusion. He loved Severus, and wanted Severus, and surely his wife would understand that? Surely she could see how happy Severus made Harry? How special Harry felt with Severus? How could that feeling be wrong? And how could it be wrong for a physical expression of their love to be desired?



His flamed further as he realised just what it was he was wishing for. He was wishing to have sex with Severus. To lie under the older man and know how it felt to be possessed. To feel physical love within him. The thought filled him with longing and terrified him at the same time.



Severus had said he wanted Harry to be happy. And suddenly Harry knew what he wanted. He loved Ginny, yes, very much so, and desired her, but he loved Sev too, and desired him. It would make him happy to have them both. And, as difficult as that might be for him to deal with, he would do it as the rewards would be worth it. He would be able to be loved by two wonderful people.









When Ginny at last left to go the Prophet’s office, Harry returned thoughtfully downstairs. Severus was settled once again on the sofa, newspaper open. Harry had the sneaking suspicion it was still on the same page it had been on that morning and that Sev wasn’t really reading at all, he was hiding, putting a barrier up to prevent him being hurt. Gently, Harry sat on the sofa and tugged the paper out of Severus’ hands.



“I think we need to talk,” Harry began quietly, eyes warm and filled with the love he no longer had to hide.



He saw the concern in Sev’s face and felt terrible. He thinks I’m going to reject him! Harry realised.



“I want you to be happy, Sev. As happy as I am. You make me happy, and I want to make you happy too.” He leaned in and kissed Severus, noting contentedly that this time Sev hadn’t pulled away.



“H-Harry?” Severus choked out around the lips.



Harry pulled back. Not far, but far enough to be able to see his love’s face. “I…I don’t understand this at all, Sev. Don’t know how we’re even going to go about this thing, but I want you. I…I want to make love with you, but I don’t really think I’m ready. Not yet.” He looked frightened, concerned, lost.



Severus pulled him gently into his arms. “I understand this thing, Harry, I understand it very well. Let me show you how well I understand.”











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