Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

Fragmented Soul	By : StrawberryGirl87 & Bickymonster Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Fenrir Views: 79703 -:- Recommendations : 3 -:- Currently Reading : 10
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or anything in the fandom. no money/profit is made.

Chapter List
- 42
- 43
- 44
Apologies for the slight delay in posting this chapter on this site. I (BickyMonster) was away from my computer for the whole day. I hope you enjoy it. :) Do take a moment to leave us a review with your thoughts.

Fragmented Soul
Chapter 43 - Progress
“Romy,” Clayton said in a rather irritating sing-song voice.
“Yes, Clayton?” Romy asked with a slight hint of exasperation, looking up from the book she had had her head buried in for the last hour.
“You know that I love you, right?” he asked a little hesitantly, giving her his best smile.
Romy couldn’t help but roll her eyes at him. “I know that you think that you love me,” she said in an attempt to be diplomatic, turning back to her book. She was sure that he cared about her a great deal, at this point there was no doubting that, but she didn’t really believe that he felt true romantic love for her.
“No, I’m pretty sure I love you,” he insisted, “but I’ll overlook that…” he added with a dismissive wave of his hand. He was coming to accept that he was actually going to give Romy time to come to terms with how serious he was about his feelings; in the mean time he was going to do his very best to prove it. “Will you go out on date with me?” he asked.
“No, Clay,” she told him with a sigh. She almost felt bad for rejecting him outright like that, but it wasn’t as though leading him on or giving him false hope would be fair; she cared about him enough to not do that.
“Why not?” he asked, trying to keep the hurt he felt from his voice. He wasn’t going to give up but he at least wanted to know what her reasoning was so as to better be able to persuade her in the future.
“Because you don’t love me,” she told him, glancing up to meet his eyes for a moment before going back to her book. “Go and woo one of the many other girls you have falling at your feet,” she said with a hint of annoyance.
“I don’t want any of them, I want you,” Clay insisted. He had fancied many girls over the years, what straight guy hadn’t, but none of them even came close to Romy.
“No, Clayton, you really don’t,” she repeated stubbornly, closing her book and looking up at him again because apparently he wasn’t going to let the matter drop like she had hoped; though she kept a finger between the pages so as to not lose her place.
“Sure I do,” Clay told her breaking out in a wide grin. “You’re stunningly beautiful, you put me in my place, I can’t get enough of you,” he started ticking off on his fingers, “you’re amazing, smart… the list is endless, I could go on.”
“Please don’t,” Romy said bluntly. She knew that the pack loved her for who she was but the whole compliment thing, particularly coming from Clay, was making her feel a little awkward. She knew that she was clever, but that was partly because she rarely stopped reading, and everything else just made her want to hide her head in her hands; even when her Mum and Dad gave her compliments she wasn’t exactly sure how to handle them.
“I second that,” Micha said from where he was sitting a few feet away. He thought that Clay’s crush on Romy was sweet most of the time, even the nice things he was saying about her were okay so far, but he dreaded to think what might come out of the fifteen year old boy’s mouth if he kept going.
“Clayton, with me, now,” Jenson barked suddenly from a short way across the clearing.
“What, why? I didn't do anything!” Clay asked; he sounded a little panicked as he turned to look towards where the Beta wolf was standing watching them. Jenson had his arms crossed over his chest in such a way that showed off his muscular arms, reminding Clay that the werewolf might not be as large as the Alpha but still plenty capable of dealing with anyone hassling his precious little girl.
“Just come here,” Jenson told him firmly, not about to take any nonsense from the troublesome pup. Damon might find Clay’s mischief endearing but Jenson certainly didn’t, particularly when the teenage boy insisted on involving Romy.
“Why?” Clay asked again, as he got to his feet and turned to face the Beta properly; though he held his ground not moving any closer.
“Just come here” Jenson repeated gesturing for Clayton to come over to him torn between pleased that the pup was smart enough to know to fear him and annoyed that he was disobeying what was definitely an order from his pack Beta. He was fairly sure that Clay would not have taken so long to get moving if it had been on the Alpha’s instruction.
“No, you’re going to hit me,” Clay said actually taking a step backwards, oblivious to the fact that Micha and Romy were both watching him now with amused expressions on their faces. These Jenson versus Clayton showdowns were becoming something of a regular entertainment within the territory.
“I’m not going to hit you,” Jenson assured him, though he had to admit the prospect was becoming more and more tempting. Sometimes it really was the only way to get the pup to actually listen, though even that method was rather losing its effectiveness; except when at Romy’s hand of course.
“You always hit me when I talk to Romy,” Clay pointed out, and the Beta actually nodded his head slightly as he conceded the point.
“Mainly because you deserve it,” Jenson told him. As far as he was concerned anyone who thought that flirting with Romy was a good idea definitely needed to be quickly put back in their place.
“I do not,” Clay argued back. He knew he was considered a troublemaker but he was harmless really and everyone knew that. It was hardly his fault that Jenson was such a protective father.
“You do too!” Romy snapped at him. She sometimes thought that her Dad was a bit too protective over her but she knew it wasn’t without good reason; besides, she had made it perfectly clear to Clay that she wasn’t interested and yet he was still convinced he was in love with her. And that wasn’t even all the other times when he had been hit for doing things that he definitely wasn’t supposed to be doing.
“Look,” Jenson said with an irritated huff as he headed towards Clayton, given that the boy apparently wasn’t going to come to him. “You’re not in school this week so you may as well learn something,” he explained, as Clay seemed to resist the urge to actually run away. “Do you want to come hunting with me or not?” the Beta asked.
Clayton looked at Jenson with suspicion, though he allowed the Beta wolf to come over to him; though he was still not sure whether or not to trust him. He wanted to go hunting, it was always a thrill for him to go, and it wasn’t often that he got the chance.
“Can I come too Dad?” Romy asked turning to smile up at her father. “I’d like to learn,” she told him, feeling hopeful since the self-defence training had gone so well and even saved her life. She had definitely proved herself a capable part of the pack and didn’t want to be held back from activities that were considered to be for the dominants, just because she was a submissive.
“No, not today, sweetheart,” Jenson told her, glad that he had a good reason to put off that conversation. He didn’t like the idea of his daughter learning to hunt any more than he had wanted to teach her to fight, but she was strong willed and already he was sure that she would talk him around. “I can only take one of you and Clay needs to burn off some of his energy,” he explained, “and I think that Harry might need someone a little more sensitive to watch over him today.”
Romy looked over to where Harry was sat, gazing into the fire, lost in thought and so she reluctantly nodded her agreement. She could see how much Harry needed company; it worried her, and in fact everyone else in the pack, when he withdrew into himself like this. Fenrir was reluctantly giving his little mate some space, realising that it wasn’t wise to crowd him.
“Okay,” Romy said with a sigh, “but play nice you two.” She wasn’t exactly keen on Clay’s persistent advances but she didn’t want her Dad and cousin to actually fight, or even just argue.
Jenson gave her a rather pointed look as he pulled her into a hug. “Stay with your Mum, no wandering off and don’t get into any trouble,” he said as he released her. Romy only laughed at him, nodding her head in agreement. Jenson then turned to Clayton. “Come on, let’s go.”
Harry watched with disinterest as Jenson and Clayton wandered off into the forest, not really caring much about where they were going. He hadn’t moved in over an hour and had no plans to either. He was still trying to come to terms with what he had learnt from Tessie. Knowing that the bond was about to break bothered him more than he would like.
He was facing a difficult choice. He could either allow his fear to overwhelm him, to get the better of him and allow the bond with his mate to break because of the horrific things that had happened to him that were out of his control. Or, alternatively, even though he wasn’t ready, he had the option to attempt to conquer them, to ignore the fear that was eating away at his insides and solidify the bond between him and Fenrir, disregarding how he felt about doing it.
Micha had managed it. After everything he had been through with Harlan he had come out of the other side and he had an amazing relationship with Damon to show for it. Of course it had its problems but every relationship did.
With Clayton having gone off with Jenson, Damon seemed keen to make the most of his son’s absence; he had gone over to sit with Micha across the other side of the fire from where Harry was sitting. Watching them together was heart-warming and Harry desperately wanted to have that back within his own relationship.
Fenrir was occupying himself just across the clearing; Harry was more than grateful that his domineering mate was giving him some space to think while still remaining close. Strangely it was just what the submissive pup needed and he loved that the Alpha knew this and gave it to him; particularly knowing how much it was probably going against Fenrir’s every instinct.
There was no doubt in Harry’s mind just how deeply he cared for Fenrir and he knew that he didn’t want the bond to break; it was this knowledge that made him come to the conclusion that no matter how uncomfortable he felt about it, Harry was going to do anything in his power to repair their bond. It would probably be awful for a little while, but the he knew he would regret the alternative for the rest of his life.
He kept giving Micha and Damon furtive glances. He couldn’t help the small amused smile that appeared on his face when, after several moments of cuddling and exchanging of kisses, Damon suddenly became rather fidgety. Harry recognised that particular jig, having danced it many a time when the Alpha male of the pack was involved and it amused him a little to see Damon being on the receiving end of some sexual frustration.
He wasn’t at all surprised when Damon gave Micha a final parting kiss and then excused himself to go off into the forest on his own, leaving his mate looking partly confused and partly suspicious about what was going on. Harry gave a quiet snort of amusement as he realised what Damon’s secretive forest trips had actually been about.
Romy came and stood next to Harry; realising her presence there, he looked up at her for a moment, before turning his eyes back to watching the members of the pack that remained within the clearing. Given that he hadn’t asked her to leave, she sat herself down beside him, placing her book down to the side of her before linking their arms together.
“You okay?” she whispered to him kindly, resting her head on his shoulder as she laced her fingers with his.
“Yeah,” Harry said with a sigh, not really feeling okay at all but equally not wanting to rehash the tired thoughts that she already knew that he was thinking. “You know, I think Clay would kill to sit with you like this.”
“Probably,” Romy replied with amusement. She really could honestly say she had never met anyone else quite like him in all her life, though she wasn’t quite certain whether or not that was a positive thing. “That boy is something else,” she said with a shake of her head.
“No he isn’t,” Harry told her gently. “He just knows what he wants,” he explained. Clayton could be rather… intense sometimes, but he was a good person and there was nothing he wouldn’t do for those he loved and cared about. “And who could blame him,” he added, turning to smile at Romy kindly. He really could see what it was that had made Clay fall head over heels for this girl.
“Not you too,” Romy said with half amusement, half exasperated annoyance that Harry was now trying to convince her that Clayton’s feelings were genuine.
“I’m not saying you should date him or anything,” Harry told her quickly, wanting to make sure she didn’t misinterpret what he was saying. “I just think you need to come to terms with the fact that he really does love you. I know you don’t believe it but I’ve seen him flirt and kiss a fair few girls since I met him but since he met you… he just isn’t interested.”
“He can do so much better than me,” Romy said in a quiet voice, hating that it was true. Clay was handsome, playful, immature, lovable and so many other things that she found wonderfully attractive about him but compared to him, she was plain, bookish and nothing special at all.
“Romy,” Harry said with a sign, looking at her with a frown, “you’re amazing and I have no idea why you would think that he could do better than you. Though, putting that aside, it doesn’t matter because regardless about how you feel on the matter, he believes that you are the one for him, that isn’t anyone better than you.”
“Well it is hardly my fault that that boy is delusional… probably mentally unstable too,” she added for good measure, nudging Harry in the ribs, hoping for a reaction.
Harry managed a chuckle. “Now you are just being mean,” he told her playfully, knowing that she didn’t mean any harm with her words.
“Who’s being mean to who?” Micha asked as he wandered over to join them, given that his mate had mysteriously wandered off again; right when he had finally been getting some of the kisses and cuddles that he had been missing all week.
“Romy was being mean about Clay,” Harry told Micha, as the older submissive took a seat on his other side.
“Ah,” he said knowingly. “I guess that must the girl equivalent of when boys pull the hair of the girl they like,” he suggested and Romy actually leaned around Harry to hit him with the back of her hand.
“It’s so not,” she insisted. “And how would you know, you’re gay, it isn’t like you went around pulling girl’s hair.”
“I so did,” Micha argued back, though admittedly he had been a little bit coddled in his early years with his pack given that he was a submissive. “Girls, guys, it’s all good with me if I get plenty of hugs and kisses,” he told her with a wink. He had always been someone who could get attached to anyone, irrespective of their gender.
“Talking of which, I noticed that Damon went for a walk again.” Harry interrupted, not wanting to let Romy get into a debate with Micha about sexuality. It certainly looked as though she had a few questions brewing in her head.
“Yeah, he did,” Micha said, turning to glare in the direction where his dominant mate had headed. “And he is being really secretive about it still too,” he added, turning back to Harry with a worried expression on his face.
“You haven’t figured out why he’s going have you?” Harry asked with amusement, slightly surprised by how innocent Micha’s mind seemed to be despite everything.
“No,” Micha said with a pensive expression. “How could I have?” he asked, thinking back over all that had happened recently, trying to work out what might have provided even the smallest clue as to what Damon was doing when he headed off into the woodland alone.
“Oh, Micha,” Harry said with a very fond smile, “I love you so much.”
“Yeah, I love you too,” Micha said a little impatiently. “Now tell me what you have figured out.” He was getting frustrated with not having been able to work it out for himself.
“I am sure you could work it out if you really thought about it,” Harry said teasingly, he thought it was adorable how Micha hadn’t seemed to realise that Damon was simply sexually frustrated. Harry knew the signs, having experienced most of them himself in the early stages of his and Fenrir’s relationship.
“Harry…” Micha said pleadingly.
“Just think really hard,” Harry told him with a grin, sounding far too pleased with himself for Micha’s liking.
“Harry…” Micha repeated, his tone a little more warning.
Harry chuckled a little. “Really, really hard,” he said, “achingly hard.”
“Oh, Harry, do you have to?” Romy groaned as the suggestiveness carried on and she realised what Harry was implying. She was about ready to just tell Micha what was going on but Harry was smiling and she didn’t want to stop that; it was the only reason she hadn’t said anything.
“What?” Micha asked, shaking his head as he struggled to get at what they now both seemed to know. “I don’t get it,” he admitted, a scowl on his face.
“If you use your head I am sure it will come to you,” Harry said with a devious twinkle in his eye. “I’m sure that’s what Damon is doing right now,” he added in a quiet voice, turning to wink at Romy.
“I hate it when you get all cryptic,” Micha grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest and actually pouting.
“Maybe you should just go follow him,” Harry suggested with a shrug. “I am sure Damon wouldn’t mind you watching.” He didn’t particularly want to think on what Micha would see if he did choose to follow, despite how endearing he found the two of them as a couple, but he thought it likely that Micha would enjoy the view.
“Eww, Harry,” Romy complained, shaking her head as though it might rid her of the particularly unwelcome mental images that that had created.
“Gah,” Micha said throwing his arms in the air and getting to his feet. “This is going to drive me crazy now, thanks a lot.”
“You’re welcome, Micha,” Harry said happily.
Micha sighed. He really did want to know but if his frustration could put that smile on Harry’s face then he could learn to live with it; at least for a couple of days. Though he was tempted to take Harry’s advice and just follow; it seemed as though Harry had a fair idea of what Damon was up to and so surely it couldn’t be anything too serious or secretive.
Harry watched as the older submissive stood biting at his lip in thought, staring intently towards the woodland. “I’m serious, you should go find him,” he told Micha.
“If this ends badly I really am going to blame you,” Micha said with a stern glare.
“Be my guest,” Harry told him with a shrug, feeling quite sure that Micha would enjoy witnessing what Damon was up to. “But I want a thank you if it ends really, really well too,” Harry called after him as Micha headed off to go find Damon.
“You’re so mean to him, Harry,” Romy said with an expression of disapproval. “Why didn’t you just tell him?” she asked curiously, though she was rather surprised that what Harry was implying had just gone so completely over Micha’s head.
“Because it’s more fun this way,” Harry said with another shrug. “Someone needs to be having some and right now Damon is out there having fun all on his own.”
“And you need to talk to Fenrir,” Romy told him firmly, knowing that the tension between the Alpha pair was starting to get to all the pack members, but also knowing that Harry needed to start dealing with what had happened to him, rather than just trying to pretend it never did.
“No I don’t,” Harry said with an angry scowl. He had been quite happy focusing on Micha and Damon, so not at all happy to have the conversation dragged back to the mess that was his own relationship.
“Yes, you do,” she insisted, “because otherwise things are going to get out of hand like they usually do and I swear to Merlin that if you end up in that tree again I will hit you so hard you’ll never think about going up there again.”
“As tempting as it is,” Harry admitted, “I don’t want to go up there. I just feel so drained, it’s too much, you know,” he tried to explain, though he didn’t think that he was doing a very good job of it.
“I get that, I really do,” Romy said with a tired sigh; and she really did. “But you can’t just play match-maker with everyone else and ignore your own problems.”
“I don’t see why not,” Harry told her grumpily, it certainly seemed preferable to him at the moment.
“Harry…” she said with a sigh, frustrated by how he was obviously trying to avoid the real issue.
“Yeah, yeah, I know,” he interrupted, before she could chastise him for his dismissive attitude. Even he could see that it wasn’t a healthy attitude even if it felt easier for now. “I will do something, I promise, I just need a little time to work up to it,” he assured her.
“At least let him sit with you during dinner,” Romy suggested, hoping to nudge Harry into taking baby steps in the right direction. “Before the Alpha gives himself an aneurysm from forcing himself to give you space.” Maybe Harry could do it for his mate, even if he wasn’t ready to do it for himself.
“I think I could probably manage that,” Harry agreed with a sigh, glancing over at Fenrir. He knew Romy was right about how stressful his mate was finding the situation and he appreciated Fenrir’s efforts enough that he felt he really did need to give him a chance.
FGHP
With his heart hammering in his chest and feeling completely uncertain about what he was doing and why, Micha crept as quietly as he could through the forest, following the clearly defined scent trail that his mate had left. If he hadn’t have trusted Harry so explicitly then he might not have been doing this at all.
Damon hadn’t gone far into the forest at all as it turned out. Just far enough away from the clearing to not be heard it seemed. Micha’s breath caught in his chest when he realised what it was that Damon was doing and suddenly everything that Harry had said to him made sense.
Leaning back against a rather large tree trunk, Damon had his jeans open, slightly pushed down, exposing his hard cock, which he was slowly stroking. He had his head tilted back, his eyes closed as he pleasured himself. Micha watched intently, unable to tear his eyes away as Damon swiped his thumb over the sensitive tip of his length, giving off a slight moan as he did.
Micha felt himself growing hard at the sight before him, it felt as if all the blood in his body was suddenly being redirected to his groin, his cock was becoming achingly hard and he felt rather light headed with it. He desperately wanted to touch himself, to bring himself to climax while he stood, hidden in the undergrowth, watching his mate pleasure himself.
He bit at his lip and looked nervously over his shoulder, back towards the clearing, just to make sure he really was alone, before turning back to watch his mate. He had to stifle a groan when Damon reached his other hand down, his fingers dipping into his open trousers and Micha was sure they were toying gently with his still contained balls.
Micha ducked behind the tree next to him, taking care to make no noise; he pinched his eyes shut and tried to calm his breath but, despite Damon’s attempts to remain quiet, Micha could still hear the harsh rapid breaths and occasionally involuntary moans.
He tried to will away his erection that was now stubbornly pressing against the front of his trousers, but it wasn’t even coming close to working. He lowered his own hand and brushed it over the hard, fabric covered flesh; the temptation was almost unbearable and he only managed to resist out of the fear of being caught.
Micha had a mild panic when he heard his name be moaned from Damon’s lips and for a moment he thought that his mate had seen him but he quickly realised that Damon was thinking about him as he touched himself. That thought alone was enough to send a thrill through Micha, and he couldn’t resist another glance around the tree trunk at where his gorgeous dominate mate was stroking himself with even greater fervour.
It was that sight that broke his ability to resist and he had unfastened his own trousers before he had even realised that he had made the decision to do so. He had to bite down hard on his own lip to hold back the cry of blissful relief at the release of his hard aching cock.
Wrapping his fingers around himself, Micha focused on the sounds coming from his dominant mate; it wasn’t going to take him long to come at the rate he was going, though perhaps that was for the best given how close Damon sounded. If his mate finished first then he was bound to get caught, but he couldn’t bring himself to care too much about that right now.
This was the first time that he had touched himself like this since Harlan, it was the first time since then that he had thought about anything remotely sexual. He had honestly thought that the urges were gone, that he wouldn’t feel that way about anyone again. He truly thought that Harlan had broken him, but apparently not.
Damon made him feel alive and flustered and… apparently very aroused, he mentally added as he glanced down at his erection that was standing proudly upright. And this was all without even trying; Damon had no idea that he was being watched or listened to and yet still he was doing things to Micha that the submissive hadn’t even known he could feel.
He moved his hand in time with the heavy breathing he could hear from Damon, and the thought that they were touching themselves at the same time, in the same rhythm, made his blood pump hot and heavy, his heart hammering in his chest. He could hear Damon picking up the pace with his strokes behind him and Micha did the same, determined for them to reach their climax together.
It felt so good, as his hand ran up and down his length, using the pre-cum that was already leaking from the tip to smooth the pleasurable friction. It felt difficult to comprehend why he hadn’t done this in so long, even if part of his brain was still aware that there were good reasons. He closed his own eyes, letting the images of Damon wanking fill his brain; he wanted to watch the actual thing that he could hear going on just a short distance away but there was no way that he wouldn’t get caught if he did that. The mental picture and sounds he could hear would certainly suffice on this particular occasion.
He could feel it building up inside of him, his balls tightening and drawing up closer to his body. Micha lost all sense of what was going on around him as the coil inside his belly tightened, ready to explode. His strokes were getting faster and he was completely lost in the pleasure of it. He had forgotten how good it felt.
And then his climax hit him hard and fast, so suddenly that his knees almost buckled from under him and it was only the way that he was leaning against the tree that kept him from falling to the ground as cum spurted from his cock. His head felt almost foggy, but in a good way, and he neither knew nor cared where his cum had actually landed.
Micha was still coming down from his post orgasmic bliss when a voice broke through his fuzzy feeling brain. “Well aren’t you quite the glorious sight,” Damon said and Micha’s eyes shot open in horror.
Sure enough, there in front of him, wearing a huge delighted grin, was Damon. His mate was making no pretence about not watching him, those grey eyes sparkling happily, and making Micha want to disappear. At least his mate didn’t seem anything close to upset, he reminded himself. With red flushed cheeks, he gave Damon a wry smile.
“I couldn’t help myself,” Micha said, with a shrug of his shoulders, following Damon’s eye line when it suddenly dropped lower and hastily tucking himself away when he realised how exposed he was.
“Trust me, trouble,” Damon told him, still grinning like the cat that got the cream, “I am not complaining.”
FGHP
It had been a short while later that Micha had returned to the clearing with Damon, both of them looking to be in good moods; the submissive even took a short detour to whisper his thanks in Harry’s ear, making the teenager smile, though half heartedly, before heading over to the fire where the rest of the pack was sat around. Harry remained slightly apart from the others for the moment, gathering his thoughts and his courage.
It was nearly dinner time and Harry was determined to go through with Romy’s suggestion to sit with Fenrir, despite how anxious it was making him feel. If he was planning to do what it would take to fix their bond, then sitting together for a meal was a comparatively simple task; he knew it had to make himself do this.
Steeling himself to do what he needed to do, Harry nervously got to his feet. “Come on, Harry,” he told himself under his breath. “You can do this.” Taking a deep breath he headed over towards where his mate was sat listening to Damon talking about something or other.
His heart was hammering in his chest and he half wanted to run away and hide, but he was stubborn; if he was going to do this, then he was going to really push his limits and so he approached the Alpha and dropped himself into Fenrir’s lap.
“Little one?” the Alpha questioned with surprise and confusion in his voice, his arms instinctively going around his little mate, but his hold gentle and hesitant. Harry had seemed so scared to even touch him and now he was in his arms again so suddenly; though Fenrir could feel Harry’s small body trembling slightly, his heart beating rapidly and his breath coming in slightly harsh gasps.
“Just go with it, please, Fen,” Harry requested, knowing that if the Alpha started asking if he was okay, or why, then he wouldn’t be able to hold his fragile façade of strength and calm together.
The Alpha said nothing to that, but grunted his agreement, wrapping his arms tighter around Harry as his little mate leaned his head on his shoulder. Fenrir could still feel and hear Harry’s fear, but that didn’t do much to diminish the pleasure he felt at having him in his arms again.
“I’m going to help Callie serve dinner,” Damon said and, as he got to his feet, Harry looked up and gave him a small smile.
It looked as though Damon wanted to know what had happened to push Harry into taking such a step, but thankfully he seemed to be able to hold his questions. For the moment it was apparently enough for him to just be happy that Harry had found the courage to take this step with Fenrir.
“I know,” Harry said quietly, looking up at Fenrir once they were relatively alone, “Tessie told me.” He was still confused about why the Alpha had told him that the bond could be repaired when in truth that was not possible.
“Told you what?” Fenrir asked, genuinely confused about what his little mate was talking about.
“That you lied to me about the bond,” Harry stated simply, his heart rate starting to return to normal as Fenrir made no move to do anything more than hold him in his arms. “That once the bond is gone there will be no remaking it.”
“Little one…” the Alpha said, but his voice trailed off not knowing what to say. He hadn’t known that that was how the bond worked; he had suspected but never known for certain. Tessie seemed to be well informed on werewolf culture and so he trusted that she would have spoken honestly to Harry on this. He couldn’t bring himself to regret telling his little mate what he had, though.
“No, I don’t mind,” Harry told him quickly, not wanting to take steps backwards in their relationship by getting into an argument. “I get why you told me what you did,” he said, grateful that Fenrir hadn’t tried to pressure him, “but I don’t want the bond to break,” he explained.
“I don’t want it to break either,” Fenrir told him, though his voice was quiet enough that the pack members around them wouldn’t be able to hear. He wanted their bond, but it was difficult not to see his desire for it as a weakness, it was how he had grown up to think.
“I want us to be okay, Fen,” Harry told him earnestly, hating that he still felt on edge even being in his mate’s arms. He wanted to be able to be with Fenrir without thoughts of what Blaise and Gideon had done and tried to do to him. “I don’t want to think about…” he said, his voice trailing off as he stubbornly fought not to cry.
“Think about what, little one?” Fenrir asked with a frown when Harry failed to get the words out.
Harry closed his eyes and took a deep breath to calm his nerves. “That night in the forest,” Harry said hesitantly, his hands physically shaking as he recalled that night. “And in the castle too… I’m sorry,” he added, forcing his eyes open and looking up at his mate.
“You don’t have to be sorry,” Fenrir told him with surprising gentleness.
“I am sorry though,” Harry said sadly. “Sorry that those… events have made things so… difficult for us. It was never supposed to be like this.”
“Bond or not, you’re still mine,” the Alpha stated firmly. In his mind it was as simple as that, and, though he did not wish their bond to be broken, it would change almost nothing in the end. Though, that Harry wanted to preserve their bond, despite everything, made him feel undeniably smug.
“I don’t want to let… them take this bond from us,” Harry said, not wanting to say either Blaise or Gideon’s names and set off Fenrir’s temper; admittedly he was not sure he could have got their names passed his lips without it breaking himself a little anyway. “I know I would regret it forever if I mess up this bond. How am I supposed to just let it go, particularly knowing that there would be no way to get it back again?” he asked.
Fenrir met his sad green eyes, not knowing what to say to that. He saw no point in comforting Harry with half truths, or trying to tell him that they wouldn’t regret the loss of the bond if they were unable to save it, but he wished he could see his little mate happy again.
“Here,” Damon said, looking nervous as he interrupted to hand each of them a bowl of stew Callie had made.
Harry, glad for the distraction from the intense moment, shuffled around, so that his back was leaning against Fenrir’s chest and accepted his dinner from Damon; Fenrir taking his own bowl with great care so as not to spill any of the food on his little mate.
In all honesty Harry wasn’t really hungry, but focusing on pushing his food around in the bowl was easier than dealing with the complications in his relationship. Fenrir ate a little of his own dinner, watching his little mate carefully.
“Eat, little one,” Fenrir instructed, quickly picking up on what Harry was doing.
Harry growled softly, frustrated at having been caught avoiding his dinner, but did take a rather small spoonful of the food and fed it to himself, before looking up at his mate. “Happy?” he questioned, having forgotten just how domineering Fenrir could be.
“No,” the Alpha told him with a frown. One mouthful of food was certainly not enough of a meal for Fenrir to be content with considering how little Harry was eating. Not to mention how frustrated he was with the regression of their relationship, even with his understanding of the good reasons behind it.
“I’m trying, Fen,” Harry told him with a sigh. He wanted his mate to be happy, particularly now he was trying so very hard to set things right. He wasn’t sure how much he could manage when even being in Fenrir’s arms like this was so difficult; though it was starting to get a little easier now.
“I know,” the Alpha assured him.
“What do you want then?” Harry asked a little angrily. If Fenrir knew how hard he was trying then why couldn’t he just be happy with what he was managing? What right did he have to expect more from him at the moment?
“For you to be safe and happy and eating properly,” Fenrir stated. It was all he really ever wanted; mostly the safe and happy part truthfully, but the eating properly part seemed to be needed to spelled out in no uncertain terms to his little mate at the moment.
“I am,” Harry insisted, “I’m all three of those things,” he said, putting as much sincerity into his voice as he could. He wanted Fenrir to believe that he was fine, even if he wasn’t necessarily telling the truth.
“Don’t lie to me, little one,” Fenrir said, seeing right through the falsity Harry was portraying. If nothing else he certainly wasn’t eating enough, but he was sure that his little mate wasn’t truly happy either. At least he was safe, here in his arms where he belonged; that much Harry was right on.
“Okay fine,” Harry admitted, scowling in annoyance though not at all surprised that Fenrir had seen straight through his rather feeble attempt at pretending everything was okay. “I am working on the being happy bit,” he told him earnestly.
“Work on the eating bit too,” the Alpha instructed firmly.
“If I promise to sleep in the same bed as you tonight, will you drop the whole eating thing?” Harry asked hopefully. It wasn’t that he was against eating, as such; he just didn’t feel like it. He was feeling a little hollow inside and every time that he put something in his mouth it made him feel a little queasy. He didn’t want to risk having to throw up when he was only just starting to feel comfortable sitting on the Alpha’s lap again.
“Little one…” Fenrir said slowly, not quite sure what to make of Harry attempted at bribing him. On one hand the idea of having his mate back in his bed was a welcome one but he wanted Harry to eat as well. Eating was not something that he was really willing to compromise on, not for anything.
“Okay, how about I eat two more spoonfuls and sleep in your bed?” Harry suggested. He wondered if he was pushing himself too far, too fast, but he had been serious when he had said he didn’t want to let their bond break and he was going to have to do a lot more than sleep next to Fenrir to make that happen.
“Four,” the Alpha said as a counter offer, after a few seconds of deep thought. Two spoonfuls was so little, but four was more than he had seen Harry eat in one sitting so far that week and so at least they would be making progress.
“You drive a hard bargain, Alpha Bossy Boots,” Harry said with a frown at his bowl of food. Four sounded like a lot, but he supposed if that was what it took to keep Fenrir from spending the next few hours trying to get him to eat even more then he could manage it.
“Just eat, little one, please,” the Alpha said, not liking the use of Harry’s nickname for him. He was sure that they had agreed to him not using such names at one point but Harry hadn’t let that stop him.
Harry looked up at the Alpha, his mouth hanging open in surprise. “Did you, Fenrir Greyback actually just say please?” he queried, half wanting to laugh at the strangeness of it.
“No,” Fenrir stated bluntly.
“You totally did,” Harry insisted, a smile breaking out on his lips at the Alpha’s denial.
“I did not. Now eat, little one,” Fenrir said stubbornly, a snarl on his lips, though it did make him rather happy that Harry seemed to be in a good mood. He honestly hadn’t even said the word please consciously but seeing the effect it had on his little mate he was going to make a mental note to use it when he really needed Harry to listen and do as he was told.
“You actually asked nicely,” Harry said softly, sounding as though he was speaking more to himself than to Fenrir.
“Harry…” the Alpha warned. He might have been pleased with the result of having used that word, but that didn’t mean that he wanted such a big deal made out of it either.
“Yes, yes, eating now,” Harry told him dismissively, unable to keep from smiling as he ate another spoonful. “That’s two, right?” he asked, looking up at Fenrir, hoping that his mate would count the one that he had eaten before they had made their deal.
“One,” the Alpha corrected sternly.
“Grumpy pants,” Harry grumbled, but he was buoyed enough by Fenrir’s use of ‘please’ that he ate two more spoonfuls in quick succession.
Fenrir carried on with his own meal while keeping a stern eye on his mate to ensure that he carried on eating. Harry actually ate two more spoonfuls before dropping the bowl carefully to the floor and looking up at him.
“That extra spoonful was a reward for learning to ask nicely,” Harry told him, though in truth he had just wanted another one because once he had started eating he had remembered just how good Callie’s stew could be. Fenrir didn’t have to know that though.
Fenrir growled a little but just simply seemed pleased that Harry had eaten something and was still in his arms, despite his little mate being in a cheeky mood. He was actually glad to see Harry behaving more like himself, even if the submissive was forcing himself to make progress.
Harry’s heart rate had at least slowed down a little and he seemed a little more relaxed too. The Alpha was content to have Harry back in his arms again, it was a step in the right direction for them and tonight he would have Harry back in their bed and it would be just the two of them. Harry’s determination to fix their bond helped him find patience that he rarely managed; for the sake of his little mate, he would take these small steps.
FGHP
Harry slept in Fenrir’s bed that night. It was difficult, awkward, and he woke up more than a few times during the night. Whenever he did, Harry found himself unable to move, not wanting to wake his mate or be asked questions like why he was awake. In truth his dreams had been plagued by Gideon and Blaise, the fear that they were both still out there somewhere playing heavily on his mind, but he didn’t want to tell that to Fenrir.
If the Alpha knew what was going on inside of his head then Harry knew that his mate would feel the need to go and hunt down the offending parties and ensure that their hearts were no longer beating. Harry, as much as he wanted that to happen, knew that it wouldn’t achieve anything and he wouldn’t feel any safer, even knowing that they were gone; mainly because he knew that killing them would more than likely put Fenrir in Azkaban and therefore far away from him.
“There is such a thing as thinking too hard you know,” Clay said suddenly, breaking through his thoughts. Harry had been sat, staring into the fire, completely lost in his thoughts, which were taking a rather dark and dangerous path.
Harry turned to look up at his best friend in surprise; other than the time that they had spent together playing poker, they hadn’t really spoken since they had come back to the pack. Harry had even been starting to wonder if Clay was avoiding him for some reason, though he couldn’t work out what that might be.
“I have a lot to think about,” Harry told him truthfully, as Clay sat down next to him.
“Yeah, I know,” Clay said kindly with a wry smile. “Me too I suppose, I just…” he paused, not really sure what to say. He wanted to apologise, but even in his head the words ‘I’m sorry’ seemed to fall far short.
“What?” Harry asked, not really sure what to make of this uncertain, hesitant version of his friend. Normally Clay just said exactly what was on his mind and they went from there, but it was obvious that whatever Clay was struggling to say was really bothering him.
“I know I joke around and I’m a bit of an arse sometimes,” Clay started and Harry just gave him a small smile, knowing exactly how hard it was for his best friend to share this with him.
“Sometimes?” Harry questioned teasingly. He wanted to lighten the rather serious discussion that they were having; the two of them didn’t do deep and meaningful conversations very often.
“Okay, fine, most of the time,” Clay said, elbowing Harry lightly and returning the smile. “But I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you, okay.” His tone was deadly serious, he needed Harry to know this; the guilt was currently eating him alive. He just wanted to be forgiven for his failure, though he knew that he didn’t really deserve it.
“What are you talking about?” Harry asked, his brow furrowed in confusion. “You saved me from…” his voice trailed off and he swallowed deeply, to keep himself from being sick as the memories assaulted his mind. He shook his head, trying to shake them off. “If you hadn’t been there…” he said, taking a deep breath and looking up at his friend.
Clay watched as Harry struggled, hating what had been done to him. “He never should have got the chance to get that close,” Clay said somewhat stubbornly.
“It isn’t your fault,” Harry said sternly to his friend. He was angry about what had happened, of course; he was angry at Blaise for what he had done, at himself for not being stronger, but not at Clayton. There was no way that he could ever be angry at Clayton, because he had done nothing wrong.
“I’m just really fucking sorry, okay?” Clay snapped a little louder than he had intended. It had taken a lot for him to confess the guilt he felt to Harry, and his friend was just dismissing it as though it was nothing. “I need you to believe that,” he explained.
“I do,” Harry said, reaching out and grasping Clay’s hand. “I haven’t doubted, for even half a second, that if you could have, you would have stopped him sooner.”
“I just…” Clay said, but his voice trailed off.
“Please tell me this isn’t what you have been letting eat you up for the last few days,” Harry said gently, a wry smile on his lips. He had thought that Clay just hadn’t wanted to deal with him while he was in such a terrible mood, but now he was thinking that his friend had reasons that were all his own.
“I feel guilty as hell, Harry,” Clay said a little impatiently. He didn’t really do this whole emotional honesty thing and Harry knew that, so it was a bit frustrating that he was being so dismissive about it.
Harry sighed, not really knowing how to make Clay understand. “There is nothing for you to feel guilty about,” he told him, squeezing his hand again.
“That whole thing with Romy… I should never have stormed off like that,” Clay said, pulling his hand from Harry’s grip and throwing his hands in the air in frustration, before running his fingers through his hair. “I was being childish,” he said quietly, his voice full of sadness, “and because of that you got hurt. I’m supposed to protect you, Harry!” he went on, his voice suddenly fierce.
Harry watched on as his friend tried to deal with everything that was going on his head; Clay seemed to be all over the place and he wished there was a way to make things better. “None of the blame is yours,” he said gently, “nothing for you to feel guilty over. You’re my best friend and you’re a person, you’re entitled to mood swings. Hell, me and Fen have enough of them,” he said with a chuckle, hoping to lighten the mood, “but there is nothing for you to be sorry for.”
“You realise I am so not letting you out of my sight when we get back to Hogwarts,” Clayton told him firmly, turning to look Harry in the eye. He had meant it to be a bit of a joke, but he was at least half way serious; the guilt of letting someone hurt Harry once was bad enough, he would never let anyone hurt him again.
Harry groaned; that would get annoying fast, but on the other hand he didn’t exactly want to ever have to be alone in that castle again. He wasn’t sure how he was going to go back in just three days. The three of them had to back in the castle Sunday evening and it was already Thursday morning. The week back with the pack had already gone so fast.
There was one thing that Harry was certain of though, and that was the fact that he wouldn’t be going back to Hogwarts until the bond was at least part way fixed between him and Fenrir. There was no way that he could leave again without knowing that their bond would survive the distance between them while he was at Hogwarts.
“I really don’t want to go back at all,” Harry said in a quiet voice, as though he didn’t actually want to voice the thought that had been plaguing him since they had returned to the pack.
“We don’t have to,” Clay assured him. It wasn’t like he had been particularly keen on the whole idea of going to Hogwarts in the first place. “I’m sure Fenrir would be all for you staying here,” he pointed out, knowing full well that the Alpha would think that was an excellent idea.
“You know I can’t do that,” Harry said with a sigh. As much as he wanted to stay with Fenrir and the pack, safe in their territory, their home, he knew that wasn’t an option. He had to save his father, and he had to find out what Dumbledore was up to.
“I know,” Clayton said, sounding every bit as tired as Harry felt, “but does the Alpha know why you’re so determined?” he questioned, not sure how much Harry had decided to tell Fenrir.
“No,” Harry told him firmly, before meeting his eyes with a very seriously expression. “And I don’t want him to know, not yet,” he added, and Clay got the message that he was expected to keep his mouth shut on the issue.
“It is probably none of my business,” Clay said hesitantly, not wanting to push Harry into one of his legendary rages, “and tell me to butt out all you want but… why?” he asked, not sure what his friend thought there was to gain by keeping their Alpha, and the rest of the pack, in the dark.
“Do you think that Fen is going to be agreeable to me having my Dad back in my life?” Harry asked. “I mean think about it, he’s my Dad…” he pointed out. “I don’t think I could ever go back to living in Ingleton again,” Harry assured him, “but having him back, it’ll change things.”
“I see your point,” Clay said with a frown, not really wanting anything to change in their pack, no matter how much he liked Severus, or wanted Harry to get his Dad back. But he couldn’t deny Harry the chance to get Severus back; he loved his best friend too much to even consider that as an option, so they would just have to figure it out when the time came.
“Okay,” Clay agreed after a few minutes of consideration, “don’t tell him; but maybe try and talk to him about what happened at least,” he suggested, knowing how much happier both Harry and Fenrir would be if they could get their relationship back on track. “You never know, it might help.”
“You aren’t the first one to tell me that,” Harry said with a sigh, thinking that if Clayton was now telling him this as well, that maybe he really did need to consider listening to the advice.
“Lukas?” Clay asked curiously.
Harry smiled at that, it did sound like the kind of thing Lukas would suggest. “Romy actually,” he told him. “You guys are more alike than you think.”
“I like to think she knows what she’s talking about,” Clay said with pride in his voice, “more than I do anyway. Maybe you should take her advice,” he suggested with a small smile and Harry knew that he was thinking about her. Clay always got a particular look on his face when he thought about Romy.
“She is annoyingly smart,” Harry conceded, shaking his head at the rather goofy look that his best friend had right now. Though he couldn’t be too judgemental about it, not when he knew that that was probably what he looked like when he looked at Fenrir.
“So are you going to listen to her all powerful wisdom?” Clay asked, giving Harry a rather incredulous look. If it was up to him he would have marched Harry over to the Alpha right now but he knew that that wouldn’t wield the right results.
“She can’t hear you right now, by the way,” Harry pointed out in a playfully conspiratorial whisper. “You can skip all the flattery.” He had no delusions about Clay actually letting up on his praise of Romy, even when she was out of earshot but it was fun to tease him about it anyway.
“Ahh, but it just flows off my tongue so naturally,” Clay said in a dreamy voice and with a strange wave of his hands, which was so ridiculous that Harry couldn’t help but laugh.
“You’re an idiot,” he stated simply though with affection, shaking his head at his best friend.
“Probably,” Clay agreed with a nod of his head. “But an idiot in love,” he added wistfully, drawing out the last word, leaning his head towards Harry and batting his eyelashes.
Harry snorted in amusement at that and gave Clay another well deserved shove; though his mood quickly shifted again. “You’re not the only one,” he said with a longing look towards his mate. “I just wish that was enough to just fix everything.”
“Least he loves you back,” Clay said; his was voice laced with a sadness that didn’t go unnoticed by Harry. The submissive had to fight against the natural response he had to just tell him that Romy did love him back, something he knew to be true. However, Romy was his friend as well and he couldn’t betray her trust like that.
“Sometimes I wonder,” Harry said miserably, glancing over at Fenrir. There were some things that made it all too clear that the Alpha male loved him, but there were also times where he acted and behaved in ways that made Harry want to scream in frustration. He didn’t need Fenrir to tell him outright but it would have been nice to know one way or another.
“There isn’t anything to wonder about, he would do anything for you,” Clay said, confused as to how Harry could still be second guessing how much Fenrir cared about him. It was clear to everyone else that the Alpha of the pack was head over heels in love with the little submissive and would do anything for him. It was a complete mystery to Clay how Harry couldn’t see that.
“Romy does care about you too,” Harry assured his friend, not wanting to see Clayton give up hope; not that seemed likely with the way things had been going. “She’s just stubborn, another trait the two of you share,” he added with a tone that expressed the mild exasperation he felt over the pair of them.
“Yeah, I share that trait with you too, but that doesn’t mean you are about to jump me,” Clay pointed out. “…right?” he added with a mock concerned look.
“Prat,” Harry said, giving his friend a shove and shaking his head at him again. Clayton’s silliness certainly made it easier to cope with the serious conversation; he was sure he would have shut anyone else out by now.
“Seriously though, Harry,” Clay said, determined not to get too distracted from what they were actually discussing, “talk to the Alpha. It can’t be any scarier than sharing a bed with him. Aren’t you worried he will just roll over and squish you or something,” he added, as though the thought had genuinely never occurred to him before.
“You know what, you’re right,” Harry said and Clay grinned happily. “You ARE an arse,” Harry went on to say, laughing as the smile slipped from his friend’s lips.
“Hey!” Clay protested with an exaggerated pout.
“It was you who said it first,” Harry reminded him.
“Some best friend you are,” Clayton mumbled in complaint.
“Yet you wouldn’t have me any other way,” Harry told him with certainty. “And for the record, no, I’m not worried that he’d squash me,” he said with a wistful smile on his face. Before last night, it had been a little while since they had shared a bed; he was glad that he had done it, despite not having really felt entirely comfortable with it, but at least he was sure that it was a step in the right direction for them again. “Fen’s warm and cuddly and he smells really, really nice,” he told Clay, wanting to voice the positives about having been in the Alpha’s bed once more, as much for himself as anything.
“Alpha!” Clay was wearing a grin as he called across to where Fenrir was sitting, “Harry says you’re cuddly and smell nice.”
“CLAYTON!” Harry exclaimed as his face flushed red; the rest of pack members were trying to smother their laughter behind their hands, not wanting to aggravate Fenrir. The Alpha male just scowled, not liking the fact that Clayton was shouting across the clearing about such a thing or embarrassing his mate in such a way, though he didn’t mind the scarlet blush covering the submissive teenager’s cheeks.
“I was just doing you a favour,” Clay told him with a shrug, “at least he knows you still like him.”
“I don’t think that was really an issue, but thanks,” Harry said rather sarcastically.
“No problem, any time,” Clayton said, grinning as if he were the cat that got the cream. He did so enjoy winding up his best friend.
“Yeah, next time I want the whole pack to know my private thoughts about the Alpha I’ll be sure to let you know so you can yell them across the clearing,” Harry said grumpily, crossing his arms over his chest. He was just starting to feel a tiny bit more comfortable around Fenrir again and now the Alpha would probably want to know why Clayton and he had been discussing such things.
“Well everyone knows how I feel about Romy,” Clay told him. “It’s not like anything stays private for long here,” he pointed out.
“I wouldn’t be so sure about that,” Harry said with a subtle glance over to Micha who was blatantly checking out Damon, who was bending over and picking up some of the many chopped up logs, relocating them closer to the fire.
FGHP
Harry hadn’t actually expected for Clayton’s shouted out declaration to have any real effect, but it seemed to have put the Alpha in something close to a good mood. Harry had even overheard Micha muttering something of the like to Damon, which had made the latter smile.
The pleasantness and general atmosphere in the pack had somehow made Harry feel a little hopeful, though optimistic might have been taking it too far. He had been dwelling a little on his self imposed time limit for fixing the bond and, given the success of having shared a bed with his mate, was determined to push himself even further.
There was also the conclusion that he had reached, that if he could fix their relationship and bond without having to talk to Fenrir about what actually happened, then he might never have to talk about it again. That prospect was motivation enough to get him to try.
He had started to form the plan after talking to Clayton this morning and now that it was just after lunch, Harry believed that he had figured out how he was going to do it. It wasn’t like Fenrir had ever been able to say no to him before and he didn’t see any reason why the Alpha would start now. It was as good a time as any and Harry was determined to fix the bond they had before he returned to Hogwarts.
When it came to it though, Harry didn’t have the courage to go up and talk to the Alpha, nor to do what he usually would have done and made it obvious what he wanted. Beside he was lacking the obvious tent in his pants for that to work; however, he did have a backup plan. Knowing that Fenrir had been watching him closely, and every move that he made was monitored by several concerned eyes, Harry decided that there was only one way that he was going to successfully get the Alpha alone.
Taking a deep breath, Harry stood up and started to stroll determinedly toward the edge of the clearing, fully intending to head into the woods. He knew that Fenrir wouldn’t let him get far and would quickly give chase; this was exactly what Harry was counting on. Sure enough, before Harry had even managed to get three or four trees into the forest, strong arms stopped his progress, encircling around his waist. If it wasn’t for the strong, familiar scent of the Alpha that Harry recognised so distinctly, he might have panicked a little.
“Where do you think you’re going, little one?” the deep, husky growl of the Alpha male asked.
“I was thinking that way,” Harry said as casually as he could, pointing off further into the woodland, “but if you have a preference for a different spot then I am open to suggestions.”
“You shouldn’t be out here alone,” Fenrir said, his voice halfway to a growl.
“I’m not alone, in case you hadn’t noticed,” Harry pointed out, turning around in Fenrir’s arms and looking up at his mate. “I knew you wouldn’t let me get far before following,” Harry assured him when Fenrir frowned.
“Come back to the clearing with me,” the Alpha instructed.
“Nope,” Harry told him stubbornly, shaking his head. It had taken a lot for him to come out here, knowing that Fenrir would follow, and he wasn’t about to give up on his plan just yet.
“Little one...” Fenrir said with a tone of exasperation.
“I …” Harry said, but realised he wasn’t at all sure how to explain to his mate what he wanted to do. Normally he would have just said, or at least implied, what he wanted, but now he was nervous.
“Little one?” Fenrir questioned, seeing how anxious his little mate was. He had assumed that Harry just wanted to get away from the pack for a while, but it seemed there was more to it than that.
“Can’t we just stay out here alone for a bit?” Harry requested. “I want to… you know… try…”
“Try what?” the Alpha questioned, confused about what his devious little mate was up to now. He was not best pleased about having been manipulated into following him into the woods, despite being glad that Harry wanted him there.
Harry bit at his bottom lip and looked down as he began to play with his own hands nervously. “You know…” he said, really hoping that he wouldn’t actually have to say it.
“Tell me,” Fenrir instructed, because honestly he didn’t know at all.
“I can’t,” Harry said with a frustrated sigh, struggling to find the words; however, closing his eyes, he stretched a hand down between the two of them to cup the Alpha’s groin in his trembling hand. “But I can show you,” he suggested.
“Little one…” Fenrir said again. He was sure it was too soon for his little mate to be involved in such activities, no matter how much he wanted to be with Harry like he had been, before Harry had gone back to Hogwarts and everything had been shattered.
“I want to try, Fen,” Harry said, seeing the Alpha’s uncertainty. “I really need to try. Please,” he begged, looking up at him with wide pleading eyes.
“No, little one,” the Alpha said, reaching down and grasping Harry’s small hands in his own, moving them out of reach of his traitorously hardening cock, before his little mate could feel it. His head knew that Harry wasn’t ready, but his body couldn’t help its response to his little mate’s advances.
“You don’t want me?” Harry asked with a moment of genuine panic.
“I do,” the Alpha said sternly, not about to allow Harry to have any doubts on that front. In truth he wanted to strip Harry of his clothing and bury himself deep inside his mate, but he wanted Harry to want that too; and so until that was the case he would wait.
“Then why?” Harry questioned sadly, and with a little frustration. It had taken so much to get up the courage to make this move and he hadn’t even considered that Fenrir might actually refuse him and it felt like a huge set back. He just wanted to get it over with.
“It is not time,” the Alpha stated simply. He could feel the way that Harry was trembling slightly and was certain it was not from the cold. He had felt how badly Harry had slept the night before, the way his little mate had stiffen when he wrapped his arms around him.
“I want this,” Harry told him stubbornly, trying to reassure Fenrir. It was good to know that the Alpha wouldn’t just have his way with him, but frustrating that Fenrir would choose now of all times to show restraint.
“No, not like this,” the Alpha said sternly, “not when you’re terrified of me.” This was not how things were supposed to be and he had never wanted Harry to fear him; he would not risk hurting or scaring his precious little mate. He would protect Harry, even if it was from himself.
“I’m not scared of you,” Harry told him perhaps a little too quickly; though it was true that he certainly didn’t think that Fenrir would ever intentionally hurt him. “I’m just…”
“Scared,” the Alpha finished for him, a scowl on his face; but Harry was sure that was at what had caused his fear, rather than at him directly.
“No,” Harry tried to argue back, but even to his own ears it didn’t sound convincing. In truth he was scared, but he didn’t want to be.
“Yes, little one,” Fenrir told him firmly, understanding Harry desire for it not to be true. There were very few things that could actually scare the Alpha, but his little mate being hurt was definitely one of those; he didn’t want to admit to such a weakness and supposed that Harry felt the same. “It’s okay,” he said, wanting Harry to see that he didn’t have to be strong. It was Fenrir’s place, as his dominant, to be his strength.
“It isn’t okay Fen, none of this is okay,” Harry argued, holding back the tears that burned in his eyes. “I want you, I want to be with you again, let us just try, please,” he begged. “I just want to try, I don’t want to be scared any more, I just want it to be like it was before, before all this shit happened. I want us to be us again. Why can’t it be just…? Why can’t we just go back to the way things were before it happened? Before you didn’t want me anymore.”
The Alpha could see how distressed Harry was becoming and he cuddled Harry close to his chest, hoping that his scent would help ease the panic his little mate seemed to be feeling. “Calm, little one,” he said gently, running his hand through Harry’s hair, trying to get Harry to relax in his arms and stop fighting against him. “Calm,” he said again.
“No,” Harry almost sobbed, but there was still anger in his voice, “because I’m not calm, I just want to be with you,” he all but shouted. He fought against the Alpha’s surprisingly gentle but firm hold on him; part of his just wanted to accept the comfort that was being offered but his mind was raging with anger and fear.
“Soon,” the Alpha promised.
“No, Fen, now,” Harry insisted, hitting his hand against Fenrir’s chest, “before…”
“Before what?” Fenrir questioned quickly, taking Harry by the shoulders and moving him back enough to meet his eyes.
“Before I leave again,” Harry told him furiously, desperation in his voice. “Before the bond breaks, before I lose you!”
“I won’t let that happen,” Fenrir stated as though it was as easy as that.
“Which bit?” Harry demanded to know. “Because I have to leave again, Fen; this weekend, I have to go back. And the bond is going to break, and you are refusing to let me even try to fix it. And you say I won’t lose you, but you can’t even make yourself touch me any more.
Fenrir just stared at his furious little mate, who was glaring at him waiting for some kind of answer that he had no idea how to give. He didn’t want to let Harry return to Hogwarts, and was a little surprised that his mate was still determined to do so; he didn’t know what to do about the bond, or how long they had to repair it, but he wouldn’t have sex with Harry before his mate was ready.
“Which bit of that are you just going to not let happen?” Harry demanded to know.
“You’re mine, little one” Fenrir stated, as he had so many times before. “You cannot lose me,” he told him, feeling a little uncomfortable with the almost affectionate words but knowing that Harry needed to hear them.
“I don’t feel it any more, Fenrir,” Harry all but sobbed. “You’re pushing me away, punishing me for things that were out of my control. I hate what this has done to us and I just want to fix it, please just let me fix it!”
Grabbing hold of his little mate, Fenrir lifted him up and smashed their lips together. He wouldn’t take it further than this, not today, they couldn’t rush this if it was going to work and the Alpha knew that. Instead he simply ravished the mouth of his submissive mate, kissing him for all he was worth.

Please spare a few seconds to leave us a review, no matter how short or long it might be it will make us very happy.
Review responses:
Clair – It is going to be a lot of ups and downs for Harry and Fen, they are both very stubborn and demanding people, with strong expectations for what their relationship should be; these are not quite in line with each other yet. For Harry this is his first relationship and he is still working out what that truly means, as for Fen, he is not very good at either communicating or compromising; that said they are both trying and (if compared to how they were right back at the beginning) are making progress. Tessie is a good person, she is still just so glad that they had allowed her to stay she is trying to show them that they were right to trust her.
Jan – Hope you enjoyed it.
Belletristik_Aura – Thank you; and yes it is a shame about the person who complained and we are nothing short of delighted that you think our story is wonderful. There is hope and as for how it can be fixed, it is slightly complicated; it would certainly require a certain degree of intimacy, given it is old magic that requires that indication that they are still completely together, but the more they reconnect emotionally, as well as physically, the stronger the bond will become.
SincerelyYourSecret – Thank you for giving this site a chance, particularly if is just to read this story. It is also available on ArchiveOfOurOwn as well, in its full glory.
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Fragmented Soul