His saviour | By : Kruemel Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Snape Views: 16367 -:- Recommendations : 5 -:- Currently Reading : 6 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter and I do not make money of this writings. |
Plain awkward
Three days had gone by, and all Harry could think was, that every interaction with his parents was just plain awkward. He didn´t know how to talk to them, what to say or how to react to them. He was unable to concentrate in class. His thought always drifted to headquarters and the people who were there waiting for him to come visit. He had wished for a little alone time with Sirius. To talk to him and get his advice. He hadn´t had the heart to ask for it though, afraid that he would hurt his parents’ feelings. Severus always joined him on in his visits and Harry was glad that he could rely on him. He had called for an DA meeting this evening. So far, only the people who were with him at the ministry and after at headquarters knew about their return. Harry had thought it important to give his parents and godfather a few days to adapt and catch up on all they knew about Dumbledore. Harry was glad when James decided that they would look at the memories in the pensive so that they wouldn´t need to tell the story ones again. It was hart to see the emotions running over their faces when they finally stepped back into the room again. Lily has sat down next to Harry and took hold of his hand. It was the first physical contact since their first reunion and Harry was glad, that for ones he didn´t feel awkward at all. Harry could tell that James was angry and smiled when her started pacing just like Harry always did. He had noticed a lot of little things he now knew he had in common with his parents. His mum often bid her lip while nervous or deep in thought and that in some moments she played with the rim of her sleeve just like he did. It was easier to find similarities with his father though. Since they looked so much alike. Harry constantly thought that he could have looked into a mirror while watching James. The only noticeable different was in their height which was credited to his time in the cupboard and the lack of food growing up.
He sat in the living room with the other´s and waited for Severus to come back from his staff meeting before they would leave for headquarters. He was a little anxious to see him. The last conversation had been a little difficult and had ended by Harry fleeing the room. While he sat there, their fight played again in his head.
“You will have to tell them at some point. It will get harder the longer you wait.” Severus had said angrily.
“I told you I´m not ready. Why are you pushing this? They only been back for three days. And I don´t have to do anything. This is my decision Severus, they´re my parents.”
“And I don´t have a say in it at all have I? I am the other father you know… I would think that would give me some say in decisions like these.”
“You know what, we can have that conversation when you have to babies growing inside you. I am the one who is carrying! Do you think I fancy for my parents to find out which role I had while we had sex? I don´t want them to think about my sex life at all.”
“You do realise that their best friends are Remus and Black. They´ve been together since they were at Hogwarts. Why does it matter all of a sudden? You didn´t mind telling your friends about the pregnancy. Hell, you even told the minister of magic.”
“Well, this is different. You can´t tell me that you don´t think it´s awkward when we´re around them. You went to school with them Severus. It´s just weird.”
“Harry, there will be babies coming out of you in due time. Are you planning to tell them before they are here or what?”
“You think this is funny?” Harry asked angrily.
“Not funny, but I do find it a little ridiculous.”
“Well alright, I won´t bother you with it anymore. Do what you want, just leave me alone.” He spun around and fled the room. Tears were running down his cheeks and he cursed his hormones for making him cry. He was angry, not sad so he was mortified by his tears. Severus wanted to kick himself in the butt. He did a pretty good job upsetting the father of his children and he chided himself for doing so. He went to go after him but he couldn´t find him anywhere. He wanted to keep locking but he had to get to his next class. When he entered, he just wanted to turn and walk away again. Of course, it had to be the class Harry was in. He wasn´t there though and his absence affected him more then anything. It would have been better if Harry would have glared at him through the whole lesson but him not being there at all stung deeply. He was worried too and could see that Hermione and Ron had no idea where he was either. They kept exchanging looks and after a while, he couldn´t take it anymore. He wandered through the class as if to check on everyone’s progress and whispered a silencing spell when he was close to the two of them.
“We had a fight and he stormed of. Ron, I need you to fake an injury so I can send you two to the hospital wing. I need you took long for him. I have no idea where he left to. The map should be in the trunk though so get it and find him.” He didn´t look at them ones and barley moved his mouth while talking. He then continued his route through the room and waited. Only a few seconds later, he heard a thump and spun around to search the room for the cause. When he settled his eyes on Ron, he was lying on the floor holding his stomach and throwing up all over the floor. He cursed and after he took house points yelled at Hermione to get him to the nurse.
They didn´t need the map to find Harry. They knew he would be in the owlery with Hedwig. He often visited her when he was upset. They didn´t asked him what had happened and only walked him back to the Dungeons. Hermione then returned to class while Ron stayed with Harry. They talked about this and that and he was glad when after a while, he saw a genuine smile on Harry´s face.
When Severus finally came back from his meeting, he just walked over to Harry and pulled him into his arms. Harry stiffened but then relaxed and buried his face in his chest.
“I´m sorry Harry. We will talk about it tonight, okay?” Harry sighed in relief and nodded.
“I´m sorry too, just for leaving though.” Severus ran his hand down his back and pressed a kiss in his hair.
“We should get ready to leave.” Hermione told them.
“We need to talk to the others before everyone arrives.”
“Yes, we probably should. I´m ready if you are.” Harry said.
“I will just go and change. I will be quick.” And with that Severus left for Harry´s room. He had most of his stuff down in the trunk now since he spend all his nights in Harry´s bed these days. He only was in his office when he needed to be and many of his books and even some personal belongings like photos were now missing from his own quarters. He quickly changed before they activated their port keys and were whisked away.
His parents both hugged him when they entered the kitchen where everyone was gathered for dinner. With a quick motion of his hand, he enlarged the table while Hermione and Severus conjured additional chairs for everyone. Harry smiled when he saw that Severus had made one to be wide enough to fit two and took his place next to him. Harry leaned into his lover and his smile widened when an arm sneaked around him. He tried not to blush to brightly when he looked at his parents and wanted to move away again, but Severus just pulled him closer and chuckled so quietly only he could hear it. He blushed even more when he saw Ron laughing quietly and buried his face in his hands for a second. He then took a few deep breaths, remembering his occlumency and cleared his mind. He was supposed to be their leader. Strong and confident not a blushing awkward idiot. Although he stayed in Sev´s arms, he sat up a little straighter.
“The meeting will start in hour, and we still have to decide how we are going to play this. I think it would be best that you stay hidden until we had a chance to explain everything. You can join us then. I am not sure how we should explain that you are back though. I don´t want to lie to anyone but there is a big risk involved. Many people in our group have lost someone dear to them. We can not expect everyone to understand that in some cases it could be too dangerous to try and bring someone back. We know that there are dark souls behind the veil. Severus for example wouldn´t even consider trying it. I believe his mother could be behind the veil since she was murdered by his father, but he is also sure that there are a few death eaters which whom he bonded to some extent. We still don´t really know how the veil works, and should he try to bring her back, he would risk bringing back a number of very dangerous people. The problem is that we know what grief can do to a human being. It can bring forth very reckless behaviour and it can drive us to take risks we normally wouldn´t. Your being here, proves just that.” Lily and James starred at him but Sirius who knew just how intuitive Harry could be just nodded.
“That is indeed a problem.” Remus said his forehead wrinkled as he tried to think.
“My biggest fear is that someone could find out that we are lying to them. I pry myself for being open and honest. There is only one thing that I have kept from the majority of the DA and that is only because I am afraid to tempt people with very dangerous stuff. I don´t want to create mistrust.”
“You are the boss, Harry. Every single member of the DA swore to obey your command. What you say goes. You should be honest with them. Explain the danger to them in detail and then make it clear to everyone in the room that if you say it is too dangerous, no one is allowed to attempt it.” Ron said.
“And you don´t think that would create bad blood. People will say that I only allow my friends to attempt it. That I am selfish for denying them what I got back. Besides, who am I to judge if it is too dangerous? I will not hear the voices they hear. I can only read from their reactions and that’s it.”
“You could use legilimency to look at the memory. You could hear it then.” Hermione offered.
“And give them reason to think I don´t trust their word.”
“Harry do you really think anyone in the DA could think badly about you. They all got to know you and I believe they will trust you when you say that it can be too much of a risk.” Remus said.
“Would you feel the same if we hadn´t been able to bring Sirius back? I know you had people close to you die and I am sure that not all those people were good. If you asked me to try it and I told you it would be too dangerous, would you listen?” The werewolf winced and looked away.
“No… I guess not.” He admitted and Harry sighed.
“And that is what I am afraid of. The hurt of loss wouldn´t allow you to listen to anything but your heart. Not reason, not logic, not me.” No one said anything after that.
“Maybe we shouldn´t tell them yet. Maybe we should wait until we figure this out.” Lily said.
“And what hide you away somewhere? I will not do that.” Harry said.
“This is not your decision sweatheart.” Lily said gently.
“Well… It kind of is. The only safe places we have are mine. You are my parents, so you are my responsibility.”
“Harry it´s supposed to be the other way around. We are supposed to be the ones responsible for you. We are your parents, even if we don´t know each other that well yet. We will not tell you what to do, but we will expect that you take our ideas and wished into consideration.” James said and Harry couldn´t help but smile.
“Thank you.”
“For what Harry?”
“For excepting me and my role in this war. I never asked to be a leader. Never wanted it, but I stepped up and I am trying to become the man I need to be to be a good one. It would be difficult to do if you would want me to do as you say. I have made and will need to make very difficult decisions in the times to come. Decisions no one should be forced to make. I welcome everyone’s help and opinions but… in the end, I am the one who must decide what is best for so many. It needs to be MY decision since I am the one who will have to defend it.”
“Well, it helps that you are an adult. It would be tougher to except if you were still underage. We will help in any way we can. I know you said you don´t want to hide us away but I really think we should stay away from the public until you had a chance to handle the whole Dumbledore situation. He will not be happy, and he will do anything to get to you to get answers.” James said.
“We don´t know how to do that yet. I don´t want to kill him. I can´t just go around making accusations. No one will want to believe that he is evil. He has been the leader of the light for such a long time. They just wouldn´t believe it. Even if I bring forth all the evidence we gathered, people will still deny it. You all remember what happened after Voldemort came back.”
“Harry, have you ever looked at that book I talked to you and Severus about? The one we found in Dumbledore´s office?” Hermione asked already knowing the answer.
“Shit! Hermione I´m so sorry. I totally forgot. It´s just so much going on at all times, it just slipped my mind.”
“Well, I hope you will look at it now that you remember. I really think it is important.” Harry nodded.
“We could hold him somewhere.” Remus said.
“No, we can´t. I do not fancy the auror department or his loyal order members to come snooping around the school. It´s hard enough to avoid him and all the death eaters in the making, I do not need more stress, it would mean everyone would have to be even more careful. It´s safer for him to just stay on as headmaster until we know what to do. At least this way we have Minerva and Severus who can gather information from him.”
“We could strip him his magic.” Sirius offered.
“No, we considered that too, but I won´t do it until he is officially not the headmaster anymore. Severus and I talked about it, and he worries what impact it could have on the security of the castle. The acting headmaster is connected to it itself and we know that Dumbledore put up strong wards around it. We think the castle feeds from his magic constantly to keep them up and strong.”
“Well, this is bloody brilliant. Then there is nothing we can do right now.” Sirius exclaimed and Harry could understand his frustration. Sirius had been locked up at Grimauld place for almost a year and Harry understood his reluctance to be confined to one place for the unforeseeable future.
“I´m sorry Siri.” He said sadly.
“This is not your fault Harry. I know that you are doing everything you can. At least I´m not alone this time. I have Moony to keep me company.”
“Actually…” Remus said not looking at him.
“What?”
“Well… I´m sorry Sirius but just before we got you back, I requested to go on a mission and Bill Weasley is expecting us to leave tomorrow morning.”
“What? You´re leaving me already? It´s only been a few days.”
“I know, but I have to do this now. We cannot afford to wait.”
“Great…” Sirius mumbled.
“How long will you be gone?”
“I don´t know. It could be some time.”
“How big is the risk that you won´t come back at all?”
“I don´t know that either.”
“Fantastic… just bloody… fucking! perfect!” Sirius said and got to his feed. Harry didn´t stop him. He saw the anguished look on his face and just gave him a small smile while he was passing him. The door closed behind him and Remus starred at it before looking at Harry.
“Go on, he will need you now.” Remus nodded and hurried out. Harry looked at his parents.
“You can stay here, or I can bring you somewhere else if you want to leave. If you wish so we should go now because we don´t have much time anymore. The others will arrive soon.” His parents looked at each other and James nodded.
“We´ll stay. We just go upstairs until the meetings done. Come on Cedric, you should come as well.” Cedric nodded and left his parents with the others.
“So, Mr. Diggory. What do you think about joining the DA? You are not obligated of course, but… with everything you´ve seen while your time at the ministry, you would make a knowledgeable ally.”
“I am not apposed to it. I don´t know about that contract of yours but we can discuss it.”
“Alright, then I will ask you to join your son upstairs. Only members are allowed to attend our meetings and I do need to protect their identities from anyone who is not privy to it. You know of too many already.” Amos nodded and stood up waiting for his wife to come as well. Mrs. Diggory looked at Harry though as if suspecting to see something, what Harry wasn´t sure.
“Liane?” Mr. Diggory asked.
“You go upstairs. I will stay.”
“What are you saying?”
“I am saying that I will join.”
“What? You heard what Mrs. Malfoy told us about it. It´s dangerous.”
“It´s only dangerous if you plan to betray Harry and I have no intention to do so. He brought back our son Amos. And from what I just heard in the last hour, I can tell that he is honourable, thoughtful of other people´s well doing, protective and open minded. Not to mention that we know that he is quite talented. He and Cedric BOTH won that tournament. Harry told us that they decided to share their win, to win together for Hogwarts. And Cedric told you last night that he would have lost to him. Our boy died, and he still insisted that Cedric was the one who deserved it more. He was a good kid and is a good man now. If I would pledge myself to anyone, it´s him. Now, go upstairs and think about it. I will see you later.” Harry was shocked by her words. How did she know that he had told everyone who asked that Cedric was the real winner? Mr. Diggory left and Harry looked at Neville.
“I need to talk to you after the meeting so please stay afterwards, you too Luna.” They nodded and Harry stood and walked into the living room. When he sat down, Draco took the seat next to him.
“So, your parents are okay with you and Sev?” He asked whispering.
“They seem to be so far, but I heard that Mione, Remus and Ron made it clear that they would have no choice.”
“Must be weird though.”
“You have no idea; the worst thing is that I haven´t told them about the babies yet.”
“I get that. It´s already weird enough, why add to it by creating the image of their son getting in up the arse. Which would happen just because you´re with Severus.”
“Thank you! That´s what I was thinking.”
“I actually came over to thank you.” Draco said blushing.
“What for?”
“Did Severus tell you that I had a breakthrough a few days ago?”
“He mentioned that you mastered a spell that always gave you trouble before.”
“Yeah… My Patronus.”
“Oh…”
“I thought about the moment you declared me your brother when I cast it. I didn´t realise how much that meant to me until I saw my stallion. Just… thank you.” A year ago, Draco´s words would have made him extremely uncomfortable but now he just gave Draco a genuine smile.
“You are very welcome. You’re not such a git after all Draco. If you had shown who you really are from the start, things could have been very different.”
“I know… I just couldn´t. There were things that were expected of me and….”
“You don´t need to explain. I understand. I never was myself before this year either.” People started filling in and Harry told Draco that they would continue the conversation later. Before Draco left for another seat, he leaned into Harry to whisper in his ear.
“I am really happy for you Harry.” Harry smiled again and nodded dismissing Draco at the same tame. He left to take his seat next to Ginny and Harry waited until everyone calmed down before standing and addressing the group.
“There have been new developments that could effect the life of a few of you quite a bit. I´m afraid, I don´t feel comfortable sharing the details yet, but I do believe that you have the right to know, that there will be big changes coming soon. Something that was unheard off before. I will ask that you are patient until I can decide how to handle the situation and hope that you will understand my reluctance since there could be danger involved.” Harry looked around the room and was glad to see that no one seemed to be put out. He looked at Severus who nodded at him proudly and Harry relaxed. If Severus thought he handled it well, then he was sure he did.
“We have a new member who just decided to join us, and I hope that we can welcome a few experienced fighters to our ranks soon. If we are lucky, we will hopefully have another ally in the ministry soon, who´s only purpose will be scouting and recruiting.”
“I wanted to remind you to think about the auror class that will be starting soon, remember, we need to know your answer by Monday morning.” Hermione said and Harry nodded.
“I want to state again how important it is that we get as many strong fighters as we can. To do so we need someone to teach us what we need to know and for someone to teach us we need someone to learn it in the first place. The more instructors we get, the more training we can hold. There is nothing else from my site since the last meeting was only a few days ago. If no one has anything else, that would be all.”
“I have something I just thought of now.” Bill said and Harry nodded for him to continue.
“It´s just an idea but maybe you should think about an extra class people can attend to learn curse breaking. It could come in handy. You need to know the curse that hits you and how it is build in order to break it which is most useful in battle. Especially when there is chaos around and you can´t hear the name of the curse or even who cast it.”
“That is a brilliant idea. I´m the first who will sign up for that class. Why didn´t we think about this sooner. Maybe we could incorporate curse breaking in the new auror curricular as well. I think it´s not to late to find someone to teach it. Maybe Fleur can step in while your away.”
“I could, maybe we can ask one of the goblins to join us one a week. They have a huge part in the training of a curse breaker, and it will be much safer to have someone around who has dealt with it for a while. I´m confident that I am able to teach them, but it would be a good for insurance at least with the more dangerous ones.” Fleur said and Harry nodded.
“I will talk to Scrimgeour and make the suggestion. I´m sure he will be pleased. Anything that strengthen the force is a good thing.” He looked around but after no one spoke up he dismissed everyone and went upstairs to tell the others that they were free to come downstairs. Luna and Neville were waiting for him still in their seats and Harry and the others joined them. He cleared his throat and looked at his two friends. Severus took his hand, sensing that Harry was tense.
“You were there when we pulled my parents from that veil and I know that you told Luna since she didn´t seem surprised earlier to meet my dead parents. The reason I wanted to talk to you Neville, is that I had a thought that might upset you at first but hopefully it won´t last.” Neville starred at him.
“What is it?” He asked after Harry didn´t volunteer the answer at ones.
“I have a theory, I want you to think about it, really think about it before you make your decision. What you need to know first is that the veil is a place some people go to who would be described as people who have gone too soon. Not everyone ends up there because we believe the veil focuses on people whose life was taken by another. I know you haven´t lost someone in such a way because when we were at the ministry that day, you didn´t here any voices. I had the thought, and bear with me for a moment before you interrupt me. If we were to give your parents a merciful death, a death by our hand, that there could be a big chance they could end up there. My theory is that, should you try and pull them out, they could come back to you healthy. Remember that we know not much about the veil, and there could be a chance that they would return to you as they were before their minds broke. I know they were older than my parents when they had you, so I think it would still feel like they are your parents. You don´t have to do or decide anything right now. I just thought that I should tell you because the thought barely left my mind since I had it.” Neville looked at him with wide eyes. His mouth hangs open and he was pale. After a moment, Neville nodded but didn´t say anything. He looked at Luna.
“You heard a voice back in fifth year. Tell me, did it scare you? Did you feel threaten by it or was it screaming?” Luna shook her head.
“No, it called me to it, but it weren´t really words. I don´t know how to describe it nor who it could be. The only person I lost was my mom and she died in an accident.” Harry nodded, remembering the many times, Luna and he had sat together and talked about all the things they would want their parents to know.
“Describe what you were hearing.”
“It was a voice, but there weren´t words. Just sounds. It was a feeling that pulled me towards it not spoken words.”
“Interesting.” Severus said stroking his chin.
“What do you think?” Harry asked looking at him.
“I don´t think there are animals back there. The only other explanation that comes to mind is a child. A small child, probably young enough so that it could not talk yet.” Harry starred at him, then Luna who could only stare back.
“My parents never said anything about another child.” Luna said frowning.
“And I would remember if they´d had one after I was born.”
“So older than you. Maybe they never told you because it was too painful for them to talk about?”
“Maybe…” No one knew what to say.
“You can decide what you want to do Luna. It´s up to you.” She nodded but frowned again.
“But I will have to do it don´t I? He or she deserves to have a life? You know since it was taken so soon.”
“That´s how I would be thinking too. You are not obligated though. I know what you were thinking before. That the other reason your parents never mentioned it could be that they were the ones who did it. If there is a chance that that could be the case, then you can´t risk just giving the baby back to your dad. You are not yet seventeen. You don´t need to take on the responsibility to raise your sibling. You can, and as I know you I´m sure you will but you do have a choice in this. You could wait until after the war and then do it. Or until you leave school or even just until you turn seventeen. The kid will be there whenever you decide your ready.” Luna nodded and smiled at him thankfully. Harry saw it with relief. It looked like Harry just succeeded in taking the pressure of. Luna was a good person at heart and Harry knew that she would want to help the child, that didn´t mean that she had to do it right this second. Harry was almost sure that it would remain as it is now. The brain couldn´t be developed when it´s dead. You can only return to a state you´ve been in before you left. At least that is what he was thinking. Except the fact that his parents seemed to be Severus´s age so maybe Harry was wrong about all of it. It didn´t even matter. If the kid was one or twenty, Luna would love him regardless.
“Alright, I think I gave you enough to think about. Neville, please take a few days of to process all of this. I can´t excuse you from classes but we will handle your other tasks.” Neville nodded and he and Luna left. Harry yawned but didn´t quite want to leave yet. It wasn´t too late so he decided just to stay out and rest for a little while. He called Dobby for tea, and he realized that he and Severus were completely alone with the marauders for the first time. He felt suddenly very awkward again and couldn´t help but check the room for the nearest exit. He could feel Severus shake his head slightly and felt him laughing soundlessly. Remus who had spend a lot of time with Harry in the last months, had followed Harry´s gaze to the door and back to his parents and he repressed a sigh.
“So…” Harry didn´t quite know himself what he wanted to say so a tense silence filled the room that was finally broken by Lily.
“Harry, I wanted to ask you. What happened to Petunia?”
“Dudley told me she left right after I did for the last time. Vernon apparently abused her before she got pregnant, and she was afraid that he would turn to her again since I wasn´t coming back.”
“So, she just left her son with him?”
“Yeah… Dudley was injured pretty badly when he asked me for help.”
“Did he… as well?” She didn´t need to say it out loud. Harry only nodded.
“I always knew that there is something wrong with that man.” James spat and shook his head.
“We need to find her. I want to have a word with my dear sister.” Lily said and Harry shuddered. So that is what Severus meant.
“Do you think that is a good idea? I don´t care that she´s out there as long as I don´t run into her.”
“Harry, I respect you for that attitude, but that woman has hurt my baby and I have the right to demand answers.” Harry didn´t like it but he nodded. She was right. Petunia was her sister. It was not only up to him this time.
“Don´t you think that there is something your parents should know about Harry?” Remus asked.
“I don´t know what you´re talking about.” Harry said trying to keep his voice calm.
“I am sure you do, is there a reason why you don´t want to tell them? We could try and work it out together.”
“There is nothing I need to say so in turn there is no reason for anything.” Remus growled.
“Harry!”
“You know what? It´s getting quite late. We should really be going.” He stood up and walked to the door. The other´s followed him but kept a little distance. Severus came up to his site.
“Really?” He asked quietly.
“You know that you are acting like a child right now?”
“I don´t care. I will tell them when I am ready and not a moment before. I do not appreciate what Remus just tried, so please don´t make me mad at you all over again. One time a day is more than enough.”
“Alright, that doesn´t mean that we are done talking about it but for now we will leave. Go and tell your parents good night.” Harry sighed.
“Fine!” He turned and walked up to his parents.
“Harry! Are you alright?” Lily asked and without hesitation pulled him against her.
“You do not have to tell us anything if you are not ready. We will be here if you decide you want to talk.”
“Thanks mum.” Harry said letting out a breath. James came up behind him and threw one arm around his shoulder.
“Well… I just wanted to say good night.” Harry said embarrassed about how much he always wanted to do just that.
“Goodnight sweetheart.” Lily said tightening her arms around him.
“You know, I think you couldn´t have chosen better. Despite his flaws, Severus is a great man.” She said whispering so he knew it was just meant for him.
“He doesn´t have flaws, not in my eyes. He´s just human like every one of us.” Harry said just as quietly. Lily pulled back a little so she could look at him.
“I am so proud of you.” She said with tears in her eyes. Harry could barley hold back his own.
“I am too.” Came James´s voice from behind him. Harry swallowed.
“I should…”
“Yes go, we will see you tomorrow?” Harry nodded and hurried to the exit. He stopped and gave Sirius a hug and then glared at Remus who winced. Then he proceeded and entwined his fingers with Severus´s and they walked out together.
Severus excused himself saying that he still had a lot of work to do.
“No problem, I will get started on that journal. Let´s see what Hermione is going on about.” Severus nodded and Harry went through his room to find the book. He took it to the living room and pulled one of the bean bags chairs in front of the fireplace. He took a minute to find a comfortable position before opening the book.
January 3rd, 1945
The first day after the holidays. I wasn´t quite sure if I was ready to take over after Professor Dippet retired but now that half the term has gone by, I am confident that I will be able to handle it. There are more and more reports of attacks and I know there is only one person who can be behind it. We really should have gone after him after the whole thing with Ariana. We could have spared so many…
January 16th, 1945
Why does Hagrid always has to come back with some kind of new pet? Some day there will be so many, they will be taking over the school…
February 11th, 1945
I just got another owl from the minister asking me to help fight Gellert. Why? Why did you have to go down that path? You could have changed your views, I did… I do not know how long I can refuse him anymore.
March 4th, 1945
Spring has finally arrived. I just had an interview with Minerva McGonagall. I am happy that she seems to be a great fit. Maybe I could even give her the head of house position. Professor Smith is getting a bid old to keep up with so many kids. He would surely appreciate it if he could spend his last years solely on classes.
April 17th, 1945
How nice, Poppy got me lemon drops for easter. She is quite right; they are my favourite.
April 30th, 1945
Sometimes you just have to laugh about the stupidity of some of the students. How did they think that causing their teachers head to catch fire wouldn´t have any consequences?
May 15th, 1945
Another attack and this time not far from here. Are you coming for me Gellert? Is that what you really want? I sure don´t. I don´t want to be the one to stop you. To look at you, knowing what I must do. You know it will destroy me, is that why you want it?
June 2nd, 1945
It´s not long until the holidays are here. How I long to visit the mountains and stay there never to be seen again. But life isn´t that kind. The minister ordered me to find you. I do not have a choice anymore. You went too far by killing his daughter, and now it will have to be you and me.
Harry closed the book not ready to read more. Had Dumbledore been in love with Grindelwald? It almost sounded like it. Who was Ariana and what happened to her? A thousand question ran through his head. He was glad when Draco came in a while later and smiled up at him asking him to join him.
“Where´s Ginny?”
“She wanted to bring Luna back to Ravenclaw tower. I think she might be a while. Luna and Neville are both pretty shaken.”
“I can imagine. Is someone with Neville?”
“Yes, I think Ginny said Ron went looking for him.”
“Good… Draco, can I ask you something?”
“Sure.” The blond looked at him.
“I know you and Severus are close. Did you ever meet… you know… someone he was seeing?” Draco arched a surprised eyebrow.
“Not really. You have to understand that Sev never saw anyone like that. He had a few… partners but as far as I know it was more like a business deal than anything else.”
“Oh…”
“I did run in to him ones. It was at one of my parents’ parties I think in our second year.”
“Do you remember what he looked like?”
“Hmh… He was shorter than him and had dark hair. I think you could say he has a type.” Harry frowned.
“I take it this is not what you wanted to hear?”
“It´s just… I thought that when he looked quite different that could explain it.”
“Explain what? Already bored of your sex life?”
“I wouldn´t be, it´s just that we barley have one at all. We had sex three times. I thought he may he finds another look more appealing but maybe it´s just that I´m getting fat. That or I must be pretty lousy in the sack.” Draco laughed.
“You should know by now that Severus isn´t the most affectioned person.”
“That´s not true at all. He is very much so, just not like that I guess.”
“Who was the one who initiated before?” Draco asked.
“I did the first time and I guess he did the other two.”
“Maybe he´s just waiting for you to make a move.”
“I did say I wanted to ahm… try some stuff. I think you´re right which makes me a complete idiot.”
“You have the tendency to behave like one at times.” Harry laughed.
“Sev seemed to think so just earlier today.”
“What did you do?”
“Nothing!” Harry said defensively.
“Remus kept asking me if there wasn´t something I want my parents to know. I told him no, but he kept pushing and I kind of ran of refusing to talk to them.”
“It´s about what you said earlier Isn´t it?”
“Yeah, everyone seems to think that they know what I should do. I´m the one who´s pregnant. I´m the one who just met his parents and I´m the only one who should be allowed to make this decision. It´s just so frustrating that neither Remus nor Severus seem to understand. I think mum did though.”
“You think she knows?”
“No, I think she thinks whatever it is, I have the right to tell them when I am ready.”
“That´s good isn´t it?”
“Yeah… but what if they get mad at Severus? I mean we did nothing wrong. I was of age and nothing even remotely romantic happened before I was. But I am their son and Severus did go to school with them. If I think about Ron getting together with one of my girls… I think I would want to rip his head off.”
“Well, it´s doesn´t matter how your parents feel about it, it won´t change anything. You will stay together, and you will give birth to your little baby girls, and I bet your mum will be too smitten by her grandbabies to keep thinking about what you did to get them.”
“So, I definitely am waiting to tell them until they are born.”
“Oh, come on Harry, you can´t do that and you know it. They will find out sooner or later. After we figure out what to tell the DA they will meet with them. How do you think your parents will feel if someone they don´t know comes up to them and congratulates them for becoming grandparents and they have no idea?” Harry looked at him sheepishly.
“I am failing on the son thing already aren´t I?”
“What? You can´t fail at something like that.”
“Of course, you can! Vernon failed to be a good uncle and I can fail at being a good son. You can´t tell me that you had a good father?”
“You know I can´t!”
“Exactly, he failed as well. It´s only human I guess but that doesn´t change the fact that you feel like shit when you do it.”
“You haven´t failed them though. Nothing happened yet. You could go now and tell them and that would be it.”
“I can´t…”
“I know, and that´s okay. Give it a little time. Do you want me to talk to Sev for you? I can explain it to him if you want.”
“Tempting, but no. There are some things one has to do on their own.”
“As you wish.”
“Would Severus be mad about what I asked you earlier?”
“I´m not sure, but I do know he would have preferred that you ask him.”
“Yeah… Probably, are you going to tell him?” Draco looked at him for a while.
“No, I don´t think he needs to know.”
“It would be okay if you would you know.”
“Yes, I do, he won´t hear it from me. You could decide to tell him yourself; I think he would appreciate your honesty.”
“You think?”
“Definitely.”
“Thanks.”
“Any time. I was hoping we could find the time to spend a little more time together. I was surprised myself, but I actually do enjoy your company.”
“Sure, we can do that. We will start the research on the horcruxes soon. With Mione driving us I reckon you will soon be bored by both me and her.”
“You know, this is actually the one time I don´t mind that she always wants to know everything there is to know about something. Hermione told me what she knows about them, and it will be wise to be as prepared as possible. I am telling you. Her thirst for knowledge will save our ass.”
“Welcome to my life. That´s how it´s always been with Hermione. Everybody knows it. She always was too clever for her own sake. Did we ever tell you why she had the time turner in the fist place?” Draco shook his head.
“She got it from Minerva so she could go to extra classes. Can you believe it? The things Ron and I would have done with it... She was quite sleep deprived that year. I think that’s the only reason why she snapped and punched you.”
“Extra classes. Granger really is one odd chick.” Draco said laughing.
“That´s what I love most about her.”
“Yeah, she´s great.”
“I guess I should go find Severus.” Harry said after a while.
“I think he´s in the potion lab in his quarters.”
“Alright, I will see you tomorrow.” Draco nodded and Harry made his way up the stairs. He paused in front of the door to the potion lab and took a deep breath. He then raised his hands and knocked.
*** I fixed the Lily situation, I think i got all of them.***
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