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Death Eater Takes a Holiday	By : LeeLeePotter Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Snape Views: 42271 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 43
- 44
- 45
Death Eater takes
a Holiday

Author: Lee Lee Potter

LeeLeePotter@Optonline.net

Disclaimer: I don't own the Harry Potter characters.
I make no money. I'll give them back when I'm done.

Category: Romance, Action, a little Humor and Angst
tossed in for flavor.

Pairing: Harry/Severus with references to
Ron/Hermione

Rating:
to NC-17, varies by chapter. To be safe, regard as NC-17

Summary: Albus spells a few Order members back to
their seventh year age, and sends them to spend time at Hogwarts for a holiday.
The Headmaster's intent is for them to learn that Harry is indeed mature for
his age, so that he will be accepted as a full member. What will happen when
Severus returns from his time as a teen, to find he has spent the better part
of the week entwined with a certain Gryffindor? And, how do their lives change
afterwards?

Feedback: While not necessary, it is greatly
appreciated.

Special Thanks to my Beta: Xikum

Chapter 45: Misunderstanding.

Albus Dumbledore sat quietly, reviewing the examination
reports from Madam Pomfrey. Arthur Weasley and the Auror in charge were seated
across from the Headmaster. It was decided the scene from the small portion
viewable from the spilt Pensieve liquid found on Ron's person would not be
collected and stored for Ministry documentation. As the scene in question was
mostly distorted and in small sections, it gave no information the Ministry
could use in the fight against Voldemort. The small splattering of silver liquid
was allowed to dry and the clothing was destroyed. The medical reports
confirmed Ron's accounts that he had been physically beaten in addition to
being tortured with magic. Albus confirmed that a spy they have high in the
Dark Lord's ranks administered at least part of Ron's 'torture'. Regardless of
what had been seen, Pomfrey had confirmed that no penetration occd.

One of the small group of Aurors that had come along to
Hogwarts was an Order member. Two of the Aurors were personal friends of Arthur
Weasley, both of whom were trusted implicitly. The others had been separately
interviewed. Only one of the remaining Aurors had expressed he could
confidently identify the masked wizard as Professor Snape.

It was now the decision of the three wizards in the
Headmaster�s office to choose who kept their memories. On one hand, it would be
easiest to Obliviate all of those who were not familiar with the Order and its
members. Yet, there were benefits to certain people believing Snape to be an
active Death Eater. It was a difficult choice to make, and wouldn't be made
lightly.

While the others were at their meeting, Harry was in the
Infirmary, where he remained unmoving and silent. His mind was spinning with
the events of the last hour or so. The commotion the Aurors made was
short-lived, as Poppy had ushered them out to the hall, allowing her to examine
Ron in private and undisturbed.

After he had given all the blood that could be safely
donated, Mr. Finnegan had been thanked and was escorted home. It was then that
the Matron had come to the other side of Harry's bed to find the mess from when
he'd been sick earlier. She bustled around, mumbling her complaints that he
hadn't called for anyone when he'd been sick. Harry continued to ignore her,
keeping eyeseyes closed. She wasn't sure if Harry was in a state of shock, or
simply in a great deal of pain. For that matter, it could have been both. She
decided Harry would be reassessed when she finished healing the many injuries
she could not earlier, while his blood supply was so depleted. There had been a
second donor, but the blood was taken and bagged in a separate room, minimizing
security risks.

When the door to the Infirmary opened, Harry remained still.
He didn't know if Severus would show up now that Ron was in the same room. He
had too much to think about, and was not ready to see the man. Listening
intently, Harry heard footsteps coming closer to his bed. Madam Pomfrey had
paused momentarily, which indicated to Harry that she knew the person was there,
but hadn't spoken to whomever had entered her Infirmary.

With at least three Weasleys in the room, Severus would have
to watch his step. Harry had planned on telling the Weasleys about their
relationship very soon, but what was going to happen now? Harry's mind
continued to reel with the many questions that plagued him. No one else would
have a reason to stay so quiet. It had to be Snape, to have made it so near,
walking almost silently.

Severus had come in cautiously. He'd seen McGonagall in the
corridor, and she had confirmed that Poppy had reported Ron's outward
appearances to be misleading, so Severus was in the clear. But that didn�t mean
the young Weasley would want to see him yet. It was with a sigh of relief when
Minerva told him that Harry hadn't been told of the incident involving the mock
rape against his friend. They could deal with that later, when Harry was healand and in the privacy of his home. Luckily, Ron's bed was behind a privacy
curtain. Through a small opening between the curtains, he saw several redheads
moving about. It was most likely a few Weasley siblings visiting their brother.
Severus would be able to slip in on the pretence of delivering potions, and
could take a look at his love. He had expected Harry to already be healed. This
concerned the Potions Master. It either meant Harry was more seriously hurt
than he originally thought, or that he needed a great deal of blood before he
could be healed. Gratefully, Poppy noticed he wasn't going to speak, and she in
turn handed him Harry's chart.

One thing Harry hadn't planned, was that faking sleep was
one of the best ways to fall asleep. Especially when his body had been so
injured. Poppy had given him a potion to help sooth sore muscles, and it was
working as a general relaxant as well, resulting in his drifting in and out of
wakefulness. Harry's mind had gone from thinking about where Severus was in the
room, to sudden memories of the view of Ron's beaten body. He flinched at the
memory and continued to drift between states of awareness. Severus watched on
in concern.

Deep in Harry's mind, the view of Ron flickered back and
forth to a familiar dream. The 'Sara' dream. This time, in Harry's dream,
Severus had not worn a mask of indifference as he had in the vision. Instead,
as he raped the woman, he had that smug look on his face that he had seen in
the incident with Ron. Severus, in real life, watched on as Harry's nightmare
took over. Poppy instructed him to help calm and hold Harry still. She was
almost finished healing him and could then give him some Dreamless Sleep
potion.

Suddenly there was a commotion. Someone who was visiting Ron
had dropped a metal tray. It clattered to the floor with a resounding
crash.

"Will you keep down that infernal racket!" growled
Snape with a frightening tone. Harry froze for an instant, and quickly pulled
from Severus' grasp, then curled up in a ball, shifting his body until it was
pressed up against the headboard of the bed. He made his entire body so small;
Severus hadn't known the position to be possible.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I didn't mean it! Sh-sh-shush
Hedwig, you'll make him mad," Harry cried out, thinking the sound was his
owl's cage rattling for her to be let out as she had done in the past.

Wanting to calm his lover down, Severus attempted to hold
him, and coaxed Harry to relax and lay down in the bed again. It seemed though,
that touching him had only caused the situation to get worse.

"No, no, please, please don't!" he cried out,
trying to move far away from the hands on him. "Uncle Vernon, I won't do
it again, I promise. Please," he was now murmuring the last phrase over
and over again. The whole time he kept his arms wrapped tight around his head,
protecting himself from the incoming blows he was sure were coming.

p>

Severus had been shocked by the display. He was even more
shocked when the privacy curtain around Weasley's bed flew aside, revealing
Ron, who had sprung at them, yelling.

"Don't touch him!" yelled Ron. "Get
off!" he roared at Severus, yanking him away from Harry. Ron held up a
hand, keeping Severus at bay, and got as close to Harry as he could without
touching him. Harry had continued to back as far away as possible. When he had
retreated back as far as he could, Harry had expected to hit the wall in the
corner of his room at the Dursley's, but instead, he fell on the Infirmary
floor. Ron pulled Harry's head onto his lap, causing a commotion, but drew his
hands away as fast as possible once his friend's head was off the hard floor.
"Shhh," began Ron, rocking slightly back and forth. "Listen for
it. Can you hear it?" he asked.

"Hear what?" asked someone in the room, earning a
glare from Ron.

"Can hea hear it?" he began again. "Listen
hard, you'll hear the wings," cooed Ron. "Alicia has the quaffleryffryffindor is up 60 points�"

Finally, after
several minutes, it occurred to Severus that Ron was commentating an imaginary
quidditch game. He continued to give play-by-play descriptions of the game
until Harry had calmed and apparently fell asleep. No one had said a word while
Ron gave all the detail of a game as if he had been watching it right then and
there. He had not once paused. It was as if Ron had seen this game over and
over and knew every single play by heart.

"What in Merlin's named just happened?" Severus asked,
keeping his voice as low as possible. It also served to sound scary as hell.

"A flashback," came the calm response from behind
Severus. Albus had entered the Infirmary in the middle of Ron's play-by-play.
The elder wizard looked sadly at Harry, curled up on the floor. He motioned to
Poppy and magically lifted Harry from the floor. Harry was covered with a
blanket when he was safely in the bed. "Come, let us take a walk,"
said Albus. Severus looked as if he were going to protest leaving Harry, buew
ew
better when Albus began for the exit without looking back to see if his Potions
Master was following.

Madam Pomfrey insisted the twins wait in the hall, and
attempted to get Ron to return to his bed. She had to settle for wrapping Ron
in a blanket, allowing him to sit in the chair next to the slumbering Harry.
She decided to release Ginny to her mother�s loving care, and sent them home
along with the twins. Poppy had been most grateful that through all the
commotion, the young Miss Weasley had been asleep behind her own privacy
curtains. Knowing her sons as well as she did, Molly had placed a silencing
charm around her daughter�s bed. They had both been unknowingly spared from the
incident that had played out not far from them.

~*~*~

"Harry has flashbacks from his time with his
family?" asked Severus, as soon as the two wizards had reached the grounds
just outside the main doors. Albus sighed.

"It�s been a long time since last he had one."

"Why didn't I know? I thought he told me everything
there is to know," Severus couldn't believe what he had seen. He was
trying his damnedest not to get annoyed, as he tried to keep his slo slow
enough to match the elder wizard, who was walking at a leisurely pace by his
side.

"Why would you assume to know everything there is to
know about him? Have you told him everything that has made up your life?"
asked Albus. He was quite saddened to see Harry in such a bad state.

"No, of course not, it's just that Harry has shared so
much about his life with me. Some of which, I was very surprised he was willing
to share. He's been very forthcoming about many things. I would think that
something of this magnitude would be important to mention. How would I know how
to react if it were to happen when we were alone? I surely would have tried to
comfort him physically." It occurred to Severus that Harry never did give
him details of what had happened when he lived with his family. He understood
what it was like to have things he'd rather not think about, much less talk
about. He never pushed Harry to tell him about his life, and he certainly
hadn't expected flashbacks to be an issue.

"I didn't think he had them any longer," said
Albus. It had been a long time since Harry had an episode. "It is a very
personal thing. I don't think he was being negligent; I believe he honestly
thought you wouldn't experience it firsthand, nor have a need to know how to
comfort him." Albus stopped in front of the lake, and gazed across the
water for a moment. �It was a difficult summer for Harry when he stayed with me
in the tower."

"Somehow you don't strike me as the quidditch announcer
type," Severus said dryly.

"No, that was Ronald's technique. He knew quidditch was
something that would only be thought of as magical. It was a way of helping
Harry realize he was in our world, away from those awful people. Me, I used to
sing," Albus said matter-of-factly.

"Muggles have music. Most of it's atrocious, but they
have it," stated Severus, confused how singing could be thought of solely
as a wizarding thing.

"Singing to calm a child, is sadly something Harry
would never associate with his time living with his muggle relatives. Song was
comforting, but touch was altogether different. After Harry's last vision here
at school, I can't tell you how pleased I was to see him finding comfort in
your arms. He has come a long way to be the confidant man you know today."

A comfortable silence grew as the two wizards contemplated
all that had happened. Albus remembered back when Harry was more directly in his
care. There had been many hard nights and unexpected days when something would
trigger a bad memory for Harry. Dr. Harkin had said that although Harry hardly
ever had episodes anymore, there would always be a chance of something
triggering a memory for him. Albus
it
it was most likely the added stress of the attack that would put Harry in such
a state that he would be susceptible to a flashback; Harry would probably be
back to his usual self again soon. But all the same, it was hard to see. None
of them knew Harry had also seen the view from Ron�s captivity.

Severus was sure that the stress of the attack was the
reason Harry was having such a hard time. He cursed himself inwardly for taking
Harry so roughly, knowing he was going flying with his friends. Thinking back
to the attack, he knew that wasn't really true. Harry had done so well. Severus
had seen Harry out maneuver the Death Eaters on his broom, and beat them at
their own game. All the training had prepared him well. Harry acted without hesitation,
making Severus proud indeed.

But�this was also the first time Harry had ever
intentionally killed a person. Sure, as a younger Gryffindor he had believed
Quirrell to be his first kill, so to speak. But truthfully, Harry hadn't the
intent to take another's life, until now.

~*~*~

Severus returned to the Infirmary, once again in hope of
seeing Harry. There had been several times in the last day or so that he'd been
there, but Harry was always asleep or sedated. It was getting so he started to
think Harry was avoiding him. Severus decided to prove his theory by slipping
into the shadows to see when Harry was most alert. His suspicions were
confirmed when he heard Ron and Harry talking. Ron hadn't given any details,
but had told Harry that Severus had inadvertently been the trigger to his
flashback. It was obvious that Harry was embarrassed that it had happened. He
looked disappointed with himself, as if it he had failed at something.

Severus wondered what he had done to trigger such a thing?
Thinking back, Sev remembered that when the tray had fallen, he had yelled. 'Maybe
sending Harry through the window made him think I really wanted to hurt him,
and hearing my angry voice made him frightened that I'd hurt him again,'
thought Severus. It wasn't the first time Severus had been completely wrong
about his assumptions regarding Harry.

Waiting until the time was right, Severus appeared to enter
the Infirmary just after Ron had left his bed to take a shower. Since it was
the first shower since he'd arrived, it would most likely take him a while.
Harry had been smiling at something Ron said, but his expression soon changed
when he saw Severus walking over.

"You've been avoiding me," Severus said without
malice.

"Funny, I don't remember going anywhere," Harry
said, without emotion. He had been devastated to think his lover could rape his
best friend. He was also confused by the fact that Ron didn't seem that upset
about the attack. Originally, he was clearly shaken, but his mood had soon
recovered. He had even retold the event of his capture with relish. Harry had
been proud of Ron for handling himself so well. He not only didn't panic, but
he managed to take a Death Eater back with him when he portkeyed away from his
abductors. Harry didn't question Ron when he didn�t mention Severus. He could
tell Ron was keeping something from him. Harry had remembered what he felt like
when Alex Nott touched him. He couldn't even fathom what it would be like to
have been raped. Now, here he was, faced with the man he loved, but was so
unsure of how he felt.

Severus remained silent as he watched Harry's inexperienced
mask of indifference fold, followed by a myriad of emotions. He was sure now
that it was true; Harry was obviously distressed from seeing him. It hurt. Severus
never wanted to be the cause of Harry's anguish.

"How could you?" asked Harry, his voice just above
a whisper.

"There was little choice. I did what I thought was
best." Severus had no idea they weren't even remotely talking about the
same thing.

"I don't see how it was even an option." Harry
thought Sev couldn't get an erection due to the potion he took to prevent it
from happening at those meetings.

"What do you suggest I should have done?"

Harry didn't answer. Truth was, he hadn't thought about it.
He didn't know which he'd rather have; Ron having to go through such a horrible
experience, or Severus getting caught as a spy, and most likely killed. Yet,
this way, Sev was alive and Ron would one day get past it. 'He doesn't even
seem that upset now', thought Harry. He had lost too much in his life, and
to lose Severus now that he'd found love, would be devastating. The real
question now was, is rape forgivable? Could he be intimate with Severus again?
And there was that other thing nagging at him, the smug look on Severus' face. Really,
that look was what made this whole thing unbearable. Was Severus as
bad as Lucius? He couldn't be. But still�

Severus had been getting annoyed. It wasn't like there
were many options. Harry was alive; he'd been through worse, what was the big
deal? But the green eyes in front of him were so full of mixed emotions and
hurt. He hated that look on Harry. Severus sighed and calmed himself.

"I understand that you were hurt by your family, the
people who should have loved you," Severus began.

"What does that have anything to do with? They never
did anything like that." Harry swallowed hard, thinking how much worse his
life could have been if his uncle had ever hurt him sexually. It had been bad
enough as it was. He shuddered at the thought. "But you had the same smug
look on your face as my uncle did. That smug look, like you were dealing out a
much deserved punishment." Harry fought it back, but a single tear
threatened to fall.

Severus was suddenly very confused. "What smug look?
How could you possibly see any expressions from over 300 feet in the air,
dangling from the castle roof?"

"The roof? What does that have to do with you raping my best
friend?!" cried Harry, much louder than he had intended. The threatening
tear spilled over. He bit the inside of his cheek hard, in an attempt to
prevent any more tears from falling. He would not fall apart.

Madam Pomfrey stepped out from her office when she heard
Harry raise his voice. Severus needed time to wrap his mind around what Harry
had just said, and it took him almost three whole seconds to close his gaping
mouth. Ron chose that time to step out from the bathroom.

"Who told you?" growled Ron. "They told me
you didn't see the pensieve view!" Ron was incensed. His face was becoming
as red as his hair. He knew this conversation was inevitable, but he wasn't
ready for it yet.

"What view?" barked Severus.

Before Ron could answer, Harry had already begun. "The
view of my best friend sprawled on the floor, bleeding. The very same view that
showed a masked man leaving the room!"

Severus looked as if a blood vessel was about to burst on
his temple. Ron had run over, starting to explain, but Harry was still talking,
and was too emotionally charged to pay much attention to his frazzled friend.

"You wore a mask, but I could see a glimpse of you.
Maybe not a good enough view for most, but I know every single line on that
face, and I know your moves," Harry�s voice was just above a whisper, and
rising. "You looked rather pleased with yourself!" sobbed Harry. He
was practically hyperventilating, and was sobbing in between gulps of air.
Severus had started to speak, but his words were lost on Harry as he finally
gulped hard, got his breath and vomited on Severus� shoes.

Madam Pomfrey placed a hand on Harry's shoulder, and pulled
him back up to the pillow. Before his head even touched the linens, she had a
calming drought down his throat. Even without the view of the familiar label,
Severus recognized the symptoms of the strongest calming potion Poppy kept in
her stores. She reached into her large patch pocket and uncorked a vial of
anti-nausea cure and gave him that as well, quick as a whip. She dropped the
empty vials in her pocket and wiped his face, drying his tears and cleaning up
where he'd been sick. Ron was rambling on and on, explaining what Severus had
done. Harry tried to make sense of Ron's words, but he was hardly coherent, and
Ron had mentioned a slur of words like �pain� and shinghing about �a spell��
and �only touched�� only when punched out�. Harry pulled his head back as far
as the pillow would allow. Ron was overwhelming him with his incessant
ramblings. The potion had been very strong. Harry wiped hands across his face,
trying to remove the tears he remembered crying, but for some reason they were
now gone. His wide eyes darted from Ron to Severus. He looked confused, and
continued to wipe away at nonexistent tears. He startled when a strong hand
grabbed his jaw, pulling his attention to a pale face.

"Do. I. lie.
to you?" asked Severus. He spoke each word very clearly and
distinctly. Harry shook his head 'No' as best he could with the tight grip
holding him in place. Sev's big hand practically wrapped around his whole face.
Severus waited a moment for Harry to refocus on him once again. "I. did.
Not. rape. Ron."

Harry stared at the face of his lover, searchingly. The
wheels were turning, albeit slowly. As the grasp on his face lightened, he
turned to Ron again. was was shaking his head in agreement with Severus. Harry
looked upset again, and felt the hand again pull him toward Severus.

"No one raped your friend," confirmed Severus, as
if sensing the thoughts Harry was having. He still looked confused, but a small
hint of hope was there. Severus would have explained further, but he could see
Harry was fighting to keep his eyes open. The calming potion was so potent; it
was nearly classified as a sleep aid. Severus gently wiped a single tear from
Harry's face, keeping eye contact until the green eyes fluttered and shut. He
held a hand on the flushed cheek until he felt the loll of Harry's head against
his palm, confirming he was asleep.

Ron found himself staring. He'd seen it before, but still
found himself slack jawed when he witnessed Snape caring for Harry. He, too,
had been hoping not to face his former professor. Ron knew Snape had done what
he did to save him from much worse. He knew that the Death Eater/spy had taken
a big risk by not raping him, but that didn't make it any less embarrassing to face
the man. Ron held on to the notion that he'd not been totally starkers in front
of Snape, and took solace in what little dignity he could grasp onto. That
helped for about two minutes, until Ron admitted to himself that he had been
completely exposed to the man, while Snape had made thrusting movements above
him. He could feel the heat forming on his face in embarrassment from the
memory.

"Weasley, maybe you should lie down, you look flushed.
This is your first time out of bed, isn't it?"

Ron had been startled from his thoughts, not expecting Snape
to be talking to him. Before he could answer, Madam Pomfrey was ushering him
back into bed. Ron had been relieved to be taken away from Snape, and a
conversation he didn't want to have. But Ron was not so lucky as to avoid the
inevitable. He saw Snape tucking Harry into bed, and then move in his direction
instead of to the door. He had been wondering for the last few weeks, what it
would be like to be with Harry and in the company of Snape, too. He'd talked to
Hermione, and was surprised to hear that she had enjoyed the time she spent
with the couple. He wasn't sure if that counted, since she'd been drunk at the
time.

"I've heard that the Ministry recognized your actions
during captivity. Your father said you have advanced your status as an Auror
further than any candidate your age. Congratulations, Mr. Weasley," said
Severus sincerely. "Of the wizards
you could have taken in to the Ministry, you made a good choice."

Ron hadn't believed his ears. Had Snape congratulated him, and
paid him a compliment? 'No, it must have been sarcasm', thought Ron,
since the Death Eater he grabbed when Porkeying out had not been one of the
more important wizards of Voldemort's followers. " I hardly had a
choice," Ron said dejectedly. "I was hoping for Malfoy or one of the
other real important ones," explained Ron, not making eye contact with
Snape. Ron looked up indignantly, then felt shock when he heard Severus
chuckle.

"Do close your mouth, Weasley." Severus knew it
was unsafe to laugh in Ron's company. He didn't want to put the young man in a
state of shock. "You may be doing well in your Auror trainingt let let me
give you a lesson in politics," Severus began with a smirk. "If you
were to do something as miraculous as bring in Lucius Malfoy, you'd get a big
pat on the back, and be the man of the hour. But rest assured, that by the time
your hour was done, Malfoy would be out on a technicality, or have paid off
enough people who'd prove he'd been acting under Imperious, or any number of
other ways. Lucius knows how to keep his nose clean. When all is said and done,
you and the Ministry would have had nothing to show for it."

Ron looked like he was about to protest, but remained
silent. It was an impressive achievement for Ron.

"The wizard you brought in was very loyal, and strived
to be in the Dark Lord�s Inner Circle. Much information will be extracted from
him." Severus said with an evil grin. Ron didn't want to think about the
ways Snape would extract information. Sure, the man would use Veritaserum,
being a Potions Master and all, but Ron had the felling that he knew a lot of
other ways, too. It was the evil grin that was so intimidating. It made Ron
think about what Harry must have seen in the pensieve view.

"Do you think Harry believed you?"

Severus was taken off guard by the subject change, though
his mask of indifference never betrayed him.

"When we were first years, Harry and me um� Harry and I
used to think that one day we'd go too far, and you would torture us for
breaking the rules." Ron pulled at a loose thread on his blanket.

Severus' lip began to curl, but he didn't respond. He
thought Ron hadn't finished, and was giving him a moment to get his thoughts in
order.

"I don't think any of the punishments we imagined came
close to what really happens. Especially when someone who knows what they�re
doing sets their mind toturituring another." He paused again, and made eye
contact with Severus for a few seconds. "I never thought that I might even
be grateful for what you did, once I was thinking straight again," he said
so softly it was almost a whisper.

Looking back, Severus was sure it was one of the oddest days
of his life. Later that same afternoon, Arthur Weasley had also thanked him for
torturing the youngest Weasley man. Of course they were actually thankful for
his resourcefulness, not the excruciating pain he�d put Ron through.
Nonetheless, it was odd. Severus couldn�t help but think back to the days, not
as far back as one might think, when he�d fanaticized about finally getting a
chance to punish Potter and his faithful sidekick for the years of aggravation
they had caused him. In the time it took two seasons to pass, his life had
taken a great turn.

____________________________

Harry woke to familiar voices. Hermione and Ron were
talking. There was a privacy curtain around Ron's bed, so they hadn't noticed
Harry had woken. Harry wouldn't usually listen in on his friends� private
conversation, but he was sure he had heard Severus' name mentioned.

"I'm glad you finahad had a chance to talk to
him," Hermione said so softly that Harry could just make out what had she
was saying. He was feeling like a heel, eavesdrng, ng, but he had too many
questions and he was confused. He wanted just to listen right now, without
others knowing and expecting a reply.

"Didn't think I could look him in the face again. Too
embarrassing, but really, it wasn't as hard as I thought it'd be. Just, the
thought of the git having seen my bits is unnerving," said Ron.

"I don't think you should be calling Snape a git,
Ron," chided Hermione. "He risked his life doing what he did for
you."

'I know," replied Ron, sounding properly cowed. "I
told him I appreciated it, sort of. I still can't get used to him not being an
evil git. Uh� you know what I mean. Mione, it was so unreal, I knew what he was
trying to do, but I wanted to kill him for it anyway, and then I heard him
talking in my ear. He said he was going to get me out of there. He didn't know
yet that I had a portkey. And, you know," Ron paused. "I believed
him. I believed he was somehow going to find a way to get me out of there. I
can't for the life of me figure out how he would have done that without blowing
his cover, but I was sure he really meant it." Ron snorted. "Alright,
as sure as one can feel when your Potions Professor has blasted your arse out
with a nasty spell."

Hermione made a sound as if disgusted by her boyfriend's
choice of words.

Harry rolledr inr in bed, thinking about what Ron had said. A
�nasty spell�? It looked so real� wasn't it? thought Harry. Due to his
visions over the years, Harry, unfortunately, had a pretty good idea of what a
rape victim would look like. It occurred to him that Severus would also know.
He wondered if Severus had not had the chance to take the potion that prevented
an erection before the meeting. Since there had been so much commotion, he
could have forgotten, or something, he rationalized. Harry groaned. His head
was flooded with questions.

Hearing the groan, Ron and Hermione were aware that Harry
was waking, and were by his side before he could register that he'd made a
sound. Ron gave a nod, and Hermione, on cue, left to speak with Madam Pomfrey
in her office.

"Hey, Harry," Ron said timidly, hoping Harry was
not about to freak. "I wasn't plannin' on telling anyone, but� you
know," he said, referring to the pensieve view. Ron looked over to see if
Hermione was coming back yet, and continued when she wasn't. "I know now
why you didn't want to tell us about Nott. I was mad at you, back then,
thinking you could tell us anything, and questioned why you had kept it from
us. But now," Ron rolled his eyes and gave a weak laugh. "I'm sorry
you saw me like that, Harry. Especially not knowing the truth. When I realized
they were using some kinda' brain box, you know, the pensieve thingie?"
Ron continued with a nod from Harry. "I knew they were going to use it to
lure you into coming to help me, or something like that. I couldn't let them
show that to anyone. I thought when I spilled over the liquid and activated the
portkey, I was home free."

"What did he do?" asked Harry, his voice void of
expression. Ron knew Harry was referring to Snape.

"He didn't do 'that' Harry," Ron said quickly, and
suddenly realizing that should have been the first thing out of his mouth when
Harry awoke. "The evil bastard---no, not Snape," corrected Ron
hastily. "You know, Voldemort," he winced, as it was a strain to say
the name aloud, "He told Snape he had a reward for him. At first I thought
the rewwas was some kind of potion I heard him talking about, then I realized
*I* was the reward." Ron shivered at the thought. So did Harry.

"What did he do?" repeated Harry, as if Ron hadn't
spoken yet.

"He um, he hexed me." Ron sighed, knowing he would
have to elaborate. "He did some evil dark spell that made my arse
explode."

"Oh, honestly Ron," huffed Hermione. She had
walked over to the bed in time to hear the last line Ron had said. She looked
apologetically at Harry and made a face at Ron. The one she usually made when
Ron said something dumb. "It was a simple spell, actually. It was an
inflammation spell, that when aimed right at a person's hemorrhoidal tissue,
would cause it to itch, then swell with blood. If the spell were held long
enough, it would cause the hemorrhoids to protrude and bleed. Quite
painful." she finished her narrative as she typically would have answered
a question in class. Ron and Harry both were shifting uncomfortably on the bed,
as if just hearing the words made them wince with pain. Hermione handed over
the file in her hand. Harry took the offered documents, reading where her
finger was pointing. It was Ron's medical chart, with a list of all his
injuries and treatments for each.

It was true. Severus had managed to find a way to fake a
rape, and from Ron's continued explanation, he seemed to have managed it with
an audience. Harry remembered the look he'd seen on Sev's face, the one that
had upset him so much. Given the circumstances, Harry had to admit, had he
pulled that off, he'd be looking smug himself.

_____________________

Harry knocked on the door to the Potions Lab. His hands were
shaking, not knowing what to expect when he saw Severus. The sight of Ron had
made him think the worst. He trusted Sev, but knew that posing as a Death Eater
meant he would have to do undesirable things. Was it a double standard that
Harry was accepting as long as things weren't done to his own friends? Did he
have the right to question anything Severus did while spying? If he accepted
Severus, knowing full well of 'The Sara Meeting', then what made this
different? Perhaps he'd been fooling himself, thinking it didn't matter when
clearly it did. Didn't it?

Going over the facts in his head, Harry recalled the feeling
of relief that Severus hadn't been found out as a spy. He felt horrible when he
thought Ron had suffered, but the truth was, if he'd been given a choice he
would have chosen Severus' life over Ron's pain. Did that make him a bad friend, or a good partner? Both?

The door to the Potions Lab flew open. Apparently Severus
had said "Enter" several times, but Harry had been so caught up in
his thoughts, he hadn't heard. Harry startled when the door opened. Severus
stood there, the imposing figure that he was. He had been about to bark a
scathing remark to whoever was at his door, but held his tongue when he saw
Harry standing there, deep in thought.

Harry stepped into the lab when Severus moved aside,
gesturing him in. They were both silent for a moment as Severus locked the door
with a charm. Harry looked for any sign of emotion on Sev's face, but found
none. Harry had once told Sev that it didn't matter that he had to do things as
a spy, and that he wanted him anyway.

Severus froze stiff for a moment when Harry launched himself
into his arms. "Sev, please forgive me!" Harry clutched at his robes.
"I told you I trusted you, but then I saw Ron and I thought� I thought�
then I thought, thank Merlin you're safe, but Ron had looked so wretched."

Realizing Harry would continue for as long as he allowed,
Severus hushed his lover. Harry continued to cling to his robes as they stood
silently holding one another, neither ready to say more.

Severus wouldn't say it, but he too had spent the last
several hours thinking the same thing. Harry had convinced him that he trusted
him and Severus allowed himself for the first time in a very long time
to get involved in a relationship. Harry had become such a big part of him that
it scared him. And now, Harry had thought the worst and probably couldn't stand
to be with him anymore. Having thought a lot about when Ron was in captivity,
Sev realized he had been ready to take on great risks for Ron, risks that he
never would have taken before. He didn't like thinking that his judgment might
be clouded when he most needed it to be clear. He couldn't let his feelings for
Harry jeopardize his spying for the Light. If Harry didn't want to be with him,
he would let him go without a fight. Perhaps it was for the best. Or so he�d
thought, until he had found himself with his arms full of Harry clinging to his
robe.

No. He wouldn't let go.

Tbc

A/N: Things will lighten up again. I don't like that this
chr isr is so full of angst, but hey, it seemed to write itself that way. Lee~

LeeLeePotter@OptOnLine.Net
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Death Eater Takes a Holiday