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Learning Life Over	By : Meander Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Draco Views: 69712 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 43
- 44
- 45
Chapter 44- Not What He Was Trained For

�� To say that
Harry was unsure about Draco�s plan of taking him to meet Snape would be giving
Draco�s plan too much credit. For one thing, Harry didn�t see how Draco could
be sure that they wouldn�t end up screaming at each other, and for another,
there was the possibility that it might go much worse than that, and Draco
would be picking pieces of one of them out of his hair.

�� Will it
really be that bad?

�� Not on his
part, Harry reassured himself as he and Draco landed in front of a neat, spare
house in the middle of a vale surrounded by rocky hills. He�d had no thought
and no emotion to spare for Snape in the past few years. But Snape would
probably still hate him as much as ever.

�� So
Draco�ll be picking pieces of me out of his hair, then.

�� Come on,
Harry,� Draco said, pinching his arm when he hung back. �You do realize that
you look ridiculous standing there and gaping, don�t you, and that such
behavior is hardly going to impress Severus, either?�

�� I don�t
want to impress him,� Harry muttered, but trotted obediently at Draco�s side as
he went towards the door of the house. Roses, or some flowers much like them,
curled around the eaves. Harry eyed them in amazement, opened his mouth to
comment, and then snapped his jaw shut again as he watched one of the �roses�
grab a fly and swallow it. At least the world hadn�t gone mad, and Snape still
surrounded himself with nasty things.

�� Even
though these nasty things smell much better than potions fumes.

�� Draco
rapped several times on the door, in a careful pattern, and then shook his head
and started tugging on Harry�s arm again. �He�s probably around back,� he said.
�In the garden. He never pays attention to the house when he�s there.�

�� Harry
couldn�t help gaping a little as Draco pulled him. �Garden?� he asked.

�� Draco
grinned at him over his shoulder. �Of course,� he said. �I told you that
Severus doesn�t strictly do what he was trained for any more, Harry. Oh, he
still brews potions, but for a long time after the war, he couldn�t do it under
his own name, and what work he could get didn�t bring in an income reliable
enough for him. So he turned to Herbology. He gardens quite well, as a matter
of fact.�

�� While Harry
was still trying to come to terms with the idea of Snape as gardener, Draco
showed him the idea embodied.

*

�� No matter
how many times Draco saw Severus�s garden, it never failed to both impress and
relax him. Perhaps it was because he usually tended to come here when he was
upset, and so the spiritual strength practically emanating from the plants had
important associations in his mind.

�� The gate
led into a stone path, but long-limbed plants like miniature weeping willow
trees blocked most of it, and they could twist around to trip up and snare the
unwary. Above them grew monstrous ferns of a kind Draco had never seen outside
this garden, and among them nodded glowing orchids. Vines snaked along the
ground. Regular English yews and oaks had to fight for pride of place among the
general clutter.

�� And yet, looked
at it with a gardener�s eyes, Draco knew, this was a place of peace, of beauty,
of wonderful variety. He suspected Severus had studied Muggle methods, though
he would never admit it.

�� We have to
go in there?� Harry asked, eyeing the plants unenthusiastically.

�� Draco
laughed at him as he opened the gate. �Scared of a few vines, Harry?�

�� If you�d
seen the ravine where Voldemort decided to hide Ravenclaw�s portrait, you
wouldn�t ask that question.�

�� Draco
stared at him, and then shrugged. He could always ask Harry about it later.
Besides, he rather enjoyed the idea that he didn�t know everything about the
man he was in love with. It left him things to discover in the future.

�� I promise
that nothing in Severus�s garden will hurt you,� he said, putting his hand low
on Harry�s back. Harry still hadn�t questioned him about the meaning of that
gesture, but Severus would know well enough the claiming it implied. �Except
Severus himself.�

�� What a
coincidence. What do you think I�m most afraid of?�

�� Draco
laughed, but pushed him forwards. It was natural that two of the most important
people in his life should meet, and he really did think Severus could help
Harry. Not by talking to him- God knew Severus couldn�t manage a sympathetic
word if his life depended on it, though he could keep a civil enough tongue
when speaking to his clients- but by showing Harry that it was possible
for one man to change and yet still live. Harry knew what Severus had been when
he had to teach in Hogwarts. He couldn�t help but remark the change since.

�� And if he
could remark the change, he might start to think that he had the chance
to live, even now, and ignore the siren call of the Ministry straining to
summon him back.

�� Ultimately,
of course, Harry would have to make the decision as to whether he wanted to
continue being an Auror. But Draco saw no reason that he could not- help
matters along a little. Tilt the balance.

�� The regular
swish-thwack sound he could hear as soon as they passed the garden gate
let him know where Severus was, and he guided Harry down the path with a light
but firm hand, not letting him wander off to investigate the white flowers
blooming temptingly close or the two ferns that touched each other several feet
above their heads. The plants wouldn�t hurt them, but Severus would have a fit
if they damaged what he depended on for his livelihood, as much as he had ever
become furious when someone ruined a potion.

�� Six bends,
and the path flared open to reveal Severus knee-deep in tall grass, a scythe
moving easily from side to side as he cut the ingredients he needed for a
potion- or perhaps trimmed weeds. Draco had never managed to keep straight what
plants were there because Severus wanted them to be, and which plants strayed
in and needed to be curtailed. At times, he suspected his old mentor changed
his mind from one month to the next, and this week�s valued experiments were
tomorrow�s intruders.

�� He waited
until Severus, who wore a dark robe as was his wont, but also heavy gardening
gloves and boots, had made what looked like the last swing in a long row of
them. Then he called, �Severus!�

�� The man
held up a hand without looking at him, studying the grass as if he expected it
to run away. Then he nodded sharply, and turned.

�� Draco saw
the moment when he became aware of Harry. He went very still. Then he stalked
forward, his eyes glittering and his face thrust forward as if he were a large
bird set to pluck out Harry�s eyes.

�� The danger
sign, though, was the whiteness of his knuckles as they tightened around the
shaft of the scythe. Draco prudently stepped forward and put himself in between
his mentor and Harry. He was almost sure he could repair a wound
inflicted by that weapon, but he had no desire to see Harry�s stomach sliced
open and his guts spilling on the ground.

�� Good
evening,� he said.

�� It cannot
be good,� said Severus, his voice lower and more disgusted than Draco could
remember hearing it since the morning a Dragonpox Draught exploded and left
them both covered with red goo, �when you have brought that one to visit
me.�

�� He spun
before Draco could object or soothe him, and said, �I suppose that you expect
me to pay you the tribute of a compliment, Mr. Potter, or thanks for saving the
world. As a matter of fact, what you did matters less to me than the scones
that I had for breakfast this morning.�

�� Draco
winced a bit, but glanced at Harry to see how he would take that. Harry
appeared to have ignored the words entirely, and was gazing raptly at the tall
grass Snape had been cutting. His eyes were wide. Draco stifled a flash of
desire at their brightness, and the way that the wind stirred Harry�s dark
curls. This was at least as good as he should look all the time.

�� Did you
hear me, Mr. Potter?� Severus had perfected the art of the cutting tone in the
years since the war, so that, if he no longer spoke quite as meanly as he had
before, he could still make someone feel less than two inches high with no more
than a slight intonation. This intonation suggested that Harry Potter was
incapable of hearing anything but the voices shouting praise inside his own
skull.

�� Yes,�
Harry said, facing Severus, and Draco raised an eyebrow. Well, well. This
was a Harry he didn�t think he�d seen before, somewhere between the utter calm
he displayed as an Auror and the open, mature adult Draco had been learning to
know in the past few weeks. This Harry didn�t look down or back away from
Severus, but kept a respectful eye on both the scythe and his sleeves, looking
for a wand. �You�re not keen on seeing me here. I don�t think I would have been
keen for someone I hated to invade my secret sanctuary, either. It�s a
beautiful place.�

�� Severus�s
eyes narrowed until they shone like flakes of obsidian. Draco knew he was
looking for some sign that he was being made fun of. �It is hardly secret, Mr.
Potter. I do enough business on the produce of this garden to keep myself
tolerably comfortable.�

�� Of course,
sir,� said Harry, in a tone that most people would have been able to infer
nothing more than politeness from.

�� Severus was
not most people. �And how is it that you didn�t know about this before,
Potter?� he drawled, leaning on the scythe. �I have, after all, heard of the
exploits of Harry Potter, most talented Auror in a century. You could have
learned of me easily enough. Unless, of course, the thought of someone doing
his duty to the extremes of loyalty was so unpleasant to you that you had to
shut your ears.�

�� Draco
winced. �Doing his duty to the extremes of loyalty� was the phrase Severus had
used to exonerate himself when he was on trial before the Wizengamot. Or, more
precisely, the shade of Dumbledore left behind in a Pensieve had used it. Harry
had attended the trial, and the words would bring up painful memories of it.

�� I know a
great deal about duty, sir,� Harry said, still unflapped. Draco had the
distinct, if bizarre, sense that he was enjoying himself. �Not as much about
healing or moving on. I think that�s what Draco brought me here to learn.�

�� Severus
slanted a glance at Draco that said, �So this is your fault.� Draco
shrugged. Of course it was, and Severus wasn�t thinking if he hadn�t figured
that out already. It wasn�t as though Harry had known where Severus had lived,
or could have Apparated in alone without the wards going mad.

�� I am
afraid, Mr. Potter,� Severus said now, leaning forward to glare at Harry, �that
I gave up being a teacher when I left Hogwarts.�

�� I know
that, sir.� Harry still refused to back down or look away, and he was smiling
slightly now. He waved a hand at the garden all around them, starting with the
scythe and moving in a wide circle to the trees and other flowers. �But you can
teach by example. And I�ve learned more in a few moments of studying your
garden than I could have learned in a week of talking to you. You do have beauty
in your soul, though you don�t like to admit it.�

�� Severus
seemed utterly unable to decide how to deal with this. In the end, he settled
for another one of those accusing looks at Draco.

�� Draco tried
hard to contain his exultant laughter as he put a hand on Harry�s shoulder and
drew the other man against him. Harry went. He never removed his eyes from
Severus, still respecting that scythe and the man�s skill with spells, but he
didn�t look upset, either. Draco could feel Harry�s heart racing when they were
close enough, but he showed no sign of it on the surface.

�� This is
what he could be. Draco stroked the nape of his neck. Self-contained, in
control, strong and unmoved. How he�d shock them all back at the Ministry,
where they were used to an obedient drone.

�� How much
of your income would you say still comes from brewing, Severus?� he asked
casually.

�� At least
half,� Severus said coolly. Draco knew by the small twitches around his mouth
that he didn�t like the direction the conversation was taking, but he saw them
only because he knew the man so well. Anyone else would have seen a
long-suffering, patient fellow putting up with this intrusion on his work by
incompetent people out of the goodness of his heart.

�� But only
half,� Draco said. �The rest comes from what you rear and tend and grow here.�

�� Severus
straightened with a tiny growl. Draco knew there was only so much even he could
get away with, and he was treading close to the boundaries. The very thought
that someone might make fun of him for having become both a gardener and a
Potions master was enough to make Severus strike.

�� Draco
didn�t care. For Harry, he had defied his mother and the Ministry. He was
prepared to go into far greater danger.

�� There�s
nothing to be ashamed of in that,� he said. �And there�s no reason that you
needed to stay with what you were before the war. Why didn�t you go back to
Hogwarts when the Headmistress asked you, Severus?�

�� Because I
was not mad enough to continue in a career I hated once there was no need for
it,� Severus replied. His eyes cut back and forth between Harry and Draco, and
his face held half a dozen warnings. Draco chose to disregard them all. Harry
had gone still against him. He was listening. That was the reason Draco had
brought him here.

�� Even
though you know that there�s no better Potions professor in Britain?� Draco
pressed. �Even though you know that Slughorn doesn�t teach your potential
students half of what they need to know?�

�� Severus
sneered, and either he had forgotten Harry was there- not likely- or he saw no
reason not to say what he thought. �What people might suffer because of
the lack of me is not for me to say,� he said. �Most likely, the dunderheads
Slughorn teaches are quite happy to go on being dunderheads- happier than they
would ever have been if I taught them.�

�� And the
Slytherins?� Draco asked softly. Severus had helped him far more than he could
articulate, even now, when he was Head of Slytherin House and Draco was a
student at Hogwarts. His situation as guardian and protector of students was
much closer to what Harry did for the people the Aurors helped.

�� Severus
shrugged. �At one time I believed I was their mainstay, and that no one could
have done the job I did. But I hear that Slughorn is more than competent, and that
the gap in the ranks has been closed. When something needs doing, be assured,
others around the gap will find someone to do it- if only to keep from having
to do it themselves.�

��

�� That
was it. That was what Harry most needed to hear, Draco thought, rubbing
gently at Harry�s shoulders. Yes, Harry might solve cases that the other Aurors
had a more difficult time with, but there was no sign that he was their only
wizard capable of solving cases like that. The others had become used to him,
that was all, and found a way to pile more than his fair share of the work on
him. And Harry had never complained, had even been glad of the work because it
gave him validation, and without someone to complain for him, the situation had
escalated into the dangerous, near-suicidal one Draco had found when he began
studying Harry.

�� It was time
for Harry to learn that other people could do his job. If he left the Aurors,
the world would not collapse. He was too used to being unique, probably, since
he�d been told again and again that he was the only one who could defeat
Voldemort. But that wasn�t true any more. He could take time, and breathe, and
think about what he really wanted to do, instead of what he felt driven
to do.

�� From the
harsh breath Harry took, Draco thought he must have realized that, too.

�� Severus�s
eyes narrowed, as if he had just realized how much he�d probably helped Harry.
�Leave now,� he said.

�� Normally,
he would have invited Draco inside for tea, but Draco understood why the
boundaries had been pushed and why. He nodded to Severus and turned away, one
arm still about Harry�s shoulders.

�� They made
it out of the garden without Harry speaking once. Whenever Draco looked at him,
he seemed deep in thought, but not upset. They weren�t five steps up the path
before the sound of Severus�s scythe in the grass began again. Draco wasn�t
surprised. Severus usually used the gardening as a source of work and pleasure,
but confronted with Harry bloody Potter, as well as the undeniable proof that
Draco was living with him and didn�t intend to abandon him any time soon, he
would need it as a release from stress.

�� They halted
outside the garden gate. Draco relatched it.

�� Draco?�
Harry asked quietly.

�� Draco
glanced at him. �Yes, Harry?�

�� Don�t you
think that refusing to do something you know you can do, when it helps others,
is as evil as hurting them?�

�� In one
stride, Draco was behind Harry, and, dragging him close, bit him on the ear.
Harry moaned softly, his knees buckling in sheer surprise. Draco kept him up with
an arm around his waist, and whispered directly into his ear.

�� It�s
better that you know it helps them, Harry. Imagine what would have
happened if I had moved to help you immediately, without studying the situation
first. I wouldn�t have had the least idea how to heal you, and you would
probably have hated me even more, since I wouldn�t have the proof of your
decline that made you stay at the Manor.�

�� Harry
relaxed against him for a moment, then groaned and threw his head back when
Draco bit him again. �Let�s go home,� he said. �And then you can fuck me into
the bed, and then I can think.�

�� Draco
couldn�t help asking, even through the arousal surging in his veins. �And the
Ministry?�

�� Give me
time to think, Draco.�

�� Draco
supposed that was all he could ask for.
- 43
- 44
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Learning Life Over