Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

Changing of the Guard	By : Lomonaaeren Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Draco Views: 58627 -:- Recommendations : 4 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 43
- 44
- 45
Thanks again for all the reviews!

Chapter
Forty-Four�Chaos

�� Draco rose
slowly to his feet when Harry had left the kitchen. He opened his mouth to ask
Kreacher to clear away the breakfast, but then shook his head and sat down
again. No, he was still hungry, and he wouldn�t let Harry�s unreasonableness
upset his appetite.

�� Because
that�s what it was, he told himself as he ate another piece of bacon and then
placed a generous dollop of marmalade on a piece of toast. He certainly had not said anything that was worthy of instigating
an argument. He�d simply explained some of his dreams of the future, and Harry
had reacted as though Draco had said he meant to set himself up as the next
Dark Lord.

�� The more he
thought about it, the more indignant he became. Harry had acted as though he
just couldn�t do the things Draco had
asked of him, as though he had some moral objection to them. But what moral
objection could there be? He�d spent ten years lying, including lies to his
best friends. He knew how to use Slytherin tactics when the situation called
for it, as Draco had had plenty of chances to see with the rebellion. He hadn�t
held back from terrifying Lucius, with such effectiveness that Draco had only
barely refrained from interfering. The only crime he seemed to avoid was
violence, and Draco had not demanded that of him.

�� By the time
he stood up from the table, Draco�s temper was rattling the jugs in which
Kreacher had brought the milk and orange juice slightly. Harry hadn�t stayed
long enough to hear explanations. He�d run up and hidden himself in his room
like a child. Draco was sure he would find him there, sulking. He would insist
on Harry�s opening the door before he explained. If he really was the only
adult in this situation, then he would behave like one and convince Harry to
emulate him.

�� Of course,
his righteousness only carried him to the top of the stairs. Then he hesitated,
because he had to admit he really didn�t know where Harry would be. The door to
his bedroom was open, as Draco could see from peering down the corridor.

�� That might
mean Harry was a bit more mature than Draco had thought he was, so he still
went to knock on the open door. No response. Draco spoke his name firmly,
having made up his mind that he would not yell, no matter the temptation. No
response again.

�� Draco
turned, frowning. The house had numerous other doors on this corridor alone,
and he thought there was an attic, as well. He began to take wary steps towards
some of the further rooms, hoping Harry had removed all the doxies and cursed
artifacts he�d told Draco about a few nights ago.

�� He probably
felt it only because he was primed to expect it. As he passed one door, he
sensed Dark magic. He flinched. It was like being dropped into the midst of a
field of rotten corpses, swollen and stinking with the summer sun.

�� He aimed
his wand at the door and murmured an unlocking charm. Harry would be stupid to
leave the door to that room open.

�� A small
maze of shimmering silvery wards coalesced into being around the door�s handle.
Draco stared. He recognized the general outline of the wards, though he had
never seen so many, or most of the intricate folds in which they lay. They
weren�t the kind typically used to confine a dangerous beast or Dark magical artifact,
a disturbing number of which had the power of spreading despair and hatred into
the minds of anyone in the same house. These were the kind meant to protect a precious object. From the
labyrinth Harry had constructed, Draco would have been tempted to think he was
keeping mementoes of his dead parents in there.

�� Perhaps it�s a memento of Black? He might
have wanted to keep it even if it was dangerous, because he might not have
anything else. Draco hesitated, his wand poised over the nearest of the
wards. If that was the case, he was better off leaving it alone.

�� But no, he
at least had to know what it was.
Harry hadn�t mentioned this or described it, and he must have known Draco would
be uneasy with any unexpected Dark magic in the house, no matter where it came
from. He spoke the first syllables of an incantation that he would use to cut
the wards.

�� Don�t do that.�

�� The walls
around Draco trembled. His sight of the wards dimmed for a moment, but he
doubted anything had actually happened to his eyes. Harry was using another glamour
to intimidate Draco out of pursuing this matter further.

�� Too bad for him it won�t work, Draco
thought, and turned around with a smile that he forced himself to make
pleasant. �At least that lured you out of hiding,� he said, and tossed his wand
and caught it, to show that he wasn�t concerned about needing it for defense.
He tipped his head casually at the door. �What�s in there?�

*

�� Harry
locked his teeth and didn�t answer. He couldn�t believe Draco had decided to
pry into the room that held the reverse Pensieve. Wouldn�t the complex of wards
have convinced any normal person Harry didn�t want to share the secret that lay
beyond that door?

�� Any normal
person, maybe. But not Draco.

�� This is the price you pay for having an
extraordinary lover, Harry told himself, setting his feet. Two arguments in one day. �I don�t wish
to tell you,� he said coolly. �Rest assured, it�s not alive. It won�t get out
and attack you. And it�s not something I would ever use on you, or anyone
else.� He smiled, but Draco raised an eyebrow, and Harry had to concede that
his smile might not be the most convincing expression at the moment. �You have
to prepare a potion and say several complicated spells just to use it,� Harry
explained. �And then it would only affect the person who went to it with a
willing heart.�

�� Draco
shifted his own stance, a quick, irresolute movement that might not have revealed
anything to less careful eyes than Harry�s. �You went to it with one,� he said.
�Your knowledge of it tells me that.�

�� Harry
chewed the inside of his cheek. Did Draco have magical guilt-sensing powers?
�At one time, I did,� he said. �But that temptation has been removed from me
forever. I don�t plan to open the door of that room again, since I moved
anything remotely valuable out when I made my decision. And I would appreciate
your not destroying the wards it took me several hours to cast.� He tried to
haul his voice back to friendliness by main force. He really didn�t want to
argue with Draco again. He�d come to try and explain more clearly, in fact,
exactly why Draco�s assumption that Harry would always do as he was told had
rankled him. �Wouldn�t you rather discuss your business prospects and��

�� Draco
laughed at him, the sneer prominent in his voice if not on his face. �Come,
Harry, that�s not even a subtle segue. Couldn�t you do a touch better?�

�� And Harry
lost a hold on his temper he didn�t even realize he�d been keeping.

�� He took a
single step forwards and snarled, �Forgive me for assuming I didn�t have to use
such tactics around you, that you wouldn�t grow offended when I spoke honestly,
that you wouldn�t mock me for failing to be the clever and talented and poised
persona you fell in love with.�

�� Draco only
frowned the way he had downstairs, as if Harry were being very tiresome. Harry
didn�t care. This time, he was going to have his full say even if Draco didn�t
listen. He couldn�t have stopped the words from coming if he tried.

�� I�ve given
you the greatest trust I can,� he continued, �told you secrets I wouldn�t have
told anyone else, and let you walk into dangerous situations�like the meeting
with Lucius�because I thought you could handle yourself. I�ve asked you
questions you didn�t answer, but you told me that you didn�t want to answer
them or couldn�t, and I accepted them. I�ve let you express condescension
towards my friends and even enjoyed some
of it, because I was feeling bitter myself. The times I�ve felt hurt, I�ve told
myself that, well, of course you didn�t understand, because you�d never been
friends with Ron and Hermione. And I accepted your friends even when Parkinson was saying things at the party
that I would have thrown anyone else out for saying.�

�� Draco
opened his mouth to argue, but the flow of words continued. Harry also didn�t
see why he should be compelled to listen to Draco when Draco obviously wasn�t
listening to him.

�� I wanted
some trust from you in return. And you seemed fairly good at giving it. Then
you said I had to help you in all the ways you wanted, and when I refused some
of them, you couldn�t trust my reasons for doing so. No, the explanations
weren�t good enough, so you demanded more. The simple truth of the matter is
that I just don�t want to, Draco. Helping
you achieve the goals we share is one thing. Helping you expand your business
and gain an advantage over your rivals is another. I�m not comfortable with it,
especially when I don�t understand the business world like I understand the
pure-blood world and don�t know what all the consequences of my actions would
be.�

�� Harry, you�re
being ridiculous��

�� You�re doing it again.�

�� The walls
and floor shook. Draco fell back a step, lifting one hand in front of his face
as if he expected to shield it from thrown curses. Harry sucked in his breath
hard, then chuckled. �It seems you don�t really trust me not to hurt you with
magic, either.�

�� I�m not�I
was just startled.� Draco dropped his hand and frowned at Harry. �And you did
hurt me once.�

�� Accidentally,�
Harry said, closing his eyes for a moment, �and I made atonement for it. And I
didn�t expect to have that thrown in my face.�

�� I don�t
understand what you want,� Draco said, some bristling, glittering anger
sparking in his voice at last. Harry was glad. He had wanted Draco to listen,
but even more, he�d wanted him to drop the emotionless mask and actually participate in the argument. �I�m
telling the truth. I told you the truth about what I wanted from Metamorphosis.
What was I supposed to do? Lie to you, use the Slytherin tactics you just
accused me of loving too much to lead into the matter gently?�

�� What if I
said that I wanted help from Malfoy�s Machineries?� Harry asked. �Machines to
help me achieve certain effects in a job, for example? There have been times
steel and glass would have worked better for me than a spell, but I had to rely
on magic because that�s what I understand.�

�� I might
not want to make the machines for you,� Draco said, frowning harder. �And I
might not have the ability to make them.�

�� Exactly.� Harry snarled again when Draco
stared at him. �I know you�re not that stupid. You must see the parallel.�

�� But I do
trust you.� Draco moved a step off to the side, as though he were about to
begin a dueling circle. Harry sneered at him and remained where he was. If it
came to dueling, he could overpower Draco in a moment. �I trust you to be able
to do whatever you set your hand to well, including wooing business contacts
for me.�

�� And my not
wanting to isn�t a good enough reason?�

�� No.�

�� Why not?�
Harry stretched out a hand towards him, but became aware of how weak the
gesture would look just in time�it seemed he had to still worry about such
things with Draco�and retracted it to his side so he could pretend he was
scratching an itch above his ribs. �Why can�t you trust that my assessment of
my skills is better than yours?�

�� Draco blew
air through his nose. �Because you�ve made such good assessments of yourself in
the past decade,� he muttered.

�� Harry had
to close his eyes again. �I always estimated what I�d need to get a job done
accurately,� he said softly. �I developed skills in what spells I could and
understood the limits of my magic. I��

�� I
discovered you fairly easily,� Draco said. �Of course you knew what you needed to get a job done.�

�� Harry had
forgotten words could hurt so much. Stupid of him, really, he thought. It had
only been a few days since Ron and Hermione�s words had wounded him more than
any hostile gesture they could have made.

�� I don�t
see why you would want me to help you with your business, if you think I�m a
poor actor,� he said. He chose simple words, because his mind was rather busy
at the moment, throwing up walls that would shield the broken Harry from
Draco�s view and thus from his ability to cause pain. He hesitated for a
moment, then called Brian forwards. He had a certain strain of irreverence that
would help in dealing with this situation. He managed to open his eyes and grin
Brian�s grin at Draco. �But it�s nice to know that you had reason to distrust
me from the beginning, even as you demanded that I have absolute faith in you.�

�� You sound
like someone else again,� Draco snapped, taking a step forwards instead of
sideways this time.

�� Do I?� And
yes, his voice had deepened into Brian�s. Harry shrugged and grinned more
widely. �It seemed appropriate for the situation. This is the aspect of me that
you�ve shown you favor and trust most, after all.�

�� You promised you wouldn�t do that with me
anymore.� Draco had the gall to sound injured.

�� Well,
you�ve just shown me what you think of my weak, emotional side. You care more
about the dent my emotions made in my acting ability than you do about the fact
that the connection I felt with you brought us together.� Brian arched an
eyebrow. �I would be a fool to keep showing you trust when it would only win me
mockery.�

*

�

�� Draco was
not used to feeling helpless. Even with Harry�s display of unreason in the
kitchen, he had not felt this way. He had resigned himself to its taking some
hours, but he was sure that, once he found
Harry, he would be able to steer him slowly around to the correct point of view.

�� Only now,
staring at Harry, did he realize how little power he would have in any
situation where Harry chose to retreat. Harry�s magic was the mightier; Draco
could not overpower him with physical or magical force, or even bind him
without his consent. And if Harry chose to vanish, Draco would never find him.
He had thought that danger past when Harry told him he was in control of all
his personas. But if Draco hurt him badly enough, Harry could use that control
to disappear more effectively than before. And this time, his desire and love
for Draco wouldn�t betray him.

�� Draco
couldn�t control him.

�� His hands
closed into fists. He�d never lacked that assurance in any of his relationships
before. His lovers had been in awe of his wealth and good looks. His friends
had been closer to his equals, but even they knew he could outmaneuver them and
so had to go out of their way to hide their stratagems�which was an admission
of and a compliment to his power in and of itself. He had avoided controlling
his parents, but he had never lacked the knowledge that he could, though it would have caused pain to them, especially
Narcissa, that he didn�t have the stomach to inflict.

�� In fact,
the only being who had ever been able to challenge him by sheer force of
presence and will and superior power was the Dark Lord.

�� Staring at
the stubborn, half-grinning face of the man before him, Draco knew he had met
another.

�� The major
difference was that Harry would submit
to his control, surrender to him and offer his trust, as he had proven last
night in the bedroom. But he could reclaim his submission at any time. What was
more pertinent, he obviously hadn�t hesitated to do that when he decided Draco
didn�t trust him enough for his liking. Draco might think his reasons for doing
so silly, but that wouldn�t change or hinder the consequences.

�� And that,
more than the parallel Harry had tried to build between Metamorphosis and
Malfoy�s Machineries, or his half-incoherent reactions to the facts Draco
spoke, which might be blunt or harsh but were still truths, convinced Draco he
had been a fool. He had wielded his power without thinking. He had not believed
compromise was necessary. And he had simply dismissed Harry�s asking for trust,
whilst demanding Harry�s complete trust in return.

�� Much more
strongly than the time in which he�d cornered an enraged and powerful wizard,
Draco could see how stupidly he�d acted. Certainly not the way a wizard who
really had power in his hands and grace about using it would act.

�� He could try to understand Harry�s reasons,
couldn�t he? Doing so would cost him nothing but time and a little patience.
And Harry might, in the end, explain so Draco could understand, and even reveal
what Dark magical artifact lurked behind that locked door.

�� Draco
swallowed and laid his wand down. Harry/Brian watched him with bright eyes
which grew more amused. Draco stepped forwards with his hands extended and said
softly, �Please don�t do that.�

�� Why not?�
Brian�s smile faded for the first time. Draco thought it was the tone of his
voice and not the words that had really caught his attention.

�� Because�because
I don�t want you to leave me.� Draco could have laughed or cried with the force
of that insight. Harry mattered more to him than having power over the
situation did. He would rather sacrifice Harry�s help with Malfoy�s Machineries
than sacrifice Harry�s trust. Put that way, it seemed so simple, but it had
cost Draco much of his pride to admit it. �Because I don�t want you to think
you have to give me a persona instead of your complete self. And because I was
being stupid and refusing to trust you. I�m sorry.� He hesitated, running the
memories of the past few weeks over in his mind, but he couldn�t think of any
major secrets he�d told Harry, the way Harry had told him the story of
Metamorphosis�s existence and why he had started the business in the first
place. He hadn�t even explained the true depth of his relationship, past or
present, with Blaise, opting to enjoy Harry�s jealousy. �I�d like you to know
more about me, too,� he finished, and then winced a little at the unpolished
sound of his own words.

�� Brian�s
eyes widened, and he turned his head almost completely upside-down as though
trying to make sure Draco wasn�t hiding a secret weapon under his hair. Draco
opened his mouth to protest that that wasn�t one of Harry�s own gestures, then
silenced himself. That could hardly help him carry his point now. Besides, was
he absolutely sure that it wasn�t one of Harry�s own gestures? It could be one
he�d never seen.

�� I assumed I knew everything about him. I
obviously didn�t. He tried not to look at the locked door. I can wait to know if he doesn�t want to
tell me.

�� I can
accept that,� said Brian, and his voice had modulated back into one closer to
Harry�s, tinged with cautious relief. �If
you mean it.�

�� I do,�
Draco said. And then, in case Harry should think he�d given in too easily or
surrendered completely, he did nod at the locked door. �Not that I won�t insist
on an explanation for this eventually. I won�t let you endanger your life by
keeping it locked up here.�

�� Harry�s
hands closed into fists for a moment, then opened again. �I should have known
you would find out,� he muttered. �And I should have explained about it before.�
He hesitated. �That�s the Pensieve I mentioned the night you�saved me.� His
voice sank as if he were embarrassed. �The one that was meant to help me drown
my memories of being Harry Potter and awaken as someone else, someone who could
continue Metamorphosis.�

�� Pensieves
don�t do that,� Draco said. He absently rubbed the gooseflesh that had spread
up and down his arms.

�� Harry
curled his lip and met Draco�s gaze. �I believe there was an apology for
refusing to trust my word.�

�� Draco
snorted. �I�m displaying my trust in you by expressing shock but believing,
rather than humoring your mention of the Pensieve whilst continuing to doubt
you in the silence of my mind.�

�� Both
Harry�s eyebrows rose. �That explanation�s so convoluted I�ll need to accept it
as true,� he said. �And anyway, this one swallows memories instead of capturing
them.�

�� You
created it,� Draco said. He was sure no
Pensieves like that were sold within the wizarding world, or he would have
discovered one when he was researching to create a machine that could reliably
record dreams. �Why?�

�� Because I
wanted to lose my memories if the pain ever became intolerable,� Harry said,
curling his lip further. �Why else would I?�

�� Will you
get rid of it?�

�� Not right
now.� Harry crouched as if he were prepared to resume the argument immediately
should Draco insist.

�� Draco
swallowed the shout he wanted to give. He had to listen to the words Harry
spoke as well as his own suspicions. Harry hadn�t said he would never destroy that corrupted Pensieve;
he had said he wouldn�t do it right now. If months passed and he still hadn�t
kept his word, then Draco would remind him again. But for now, he could have
patience, the same way he�d had when waiting for Harry to confess his secrets.
Those secrets would have had less value if he�d simply torn them out of Harry
at first. It was a proof of love for Harry to trust him enough to make the
confession of his own free will.

�� And if he
would destroy the Pensieve of his own free will, then that would be as sweet as
strong wine to Draco. Insisting on having his own way all the time had cost him
Harry�s confidence and cost Harry pain. He could compromise, as much as he
hated the word. He could wait�and that was something he had more experience in
doing.

�� All right,�
he said.

�� The way
Harry opened his eyes and stared at him, then began to smile, made Draco smile
back in sheer delight. Harry hadn�t expected that. Draco liked surprising him. He had thought of doing so with expensive
gifts, of the kind Harry had had no family to give him and his friends would
never have had the money to buy, but this was even better.

�� Thank
you,� Harry whispered, and paused, studying him thoughtfully. �I�m not trying
to say I�m without blame. I did�well, I was incoherent when trying to defend my
points in the kitchen, to say the least.� He flushed, and Draco liked the look
of it, because it was more the red blotchy look he thought Harry would wear,
rather than the perfectly polished flirtatious blush he would have associated
with Brian. �I�m sorry for that as well.� He blinked as though someone had
suddenly called his name. �And you know, we never did lift the Lover�s Face
Curse. I assume that�s something we should do before we venture into public
again. Maybe there�s not much chance of meeting Alice Moonstone right now, but
you could see her accidentally in the future, and I�d rather not have my lover
snatched out from beneath my nose because of my own stupidity.� He raised his eyebrows at Draco.

�� Draco�s immediate
impulse was to argue that they talk about his past instead. He gave a rueful
shake of his head. So a suggestion can�t
be good if it comes from Harry?

��

�� And why
not?�

�� Harry had
reinterpreted the shake of his head in a different way. Draco grinned. �We
should lift the curse,� he said. �I was fighting myself back when I seemed to
say no.� And then he paused, because a new and brilliant idea had just hit him.
He considered it from several different angles, tilted it back and forth
looking for flaws the way he would have examined a jewel in a professional
shop. Then he nodded briskly.

�� I think
I�ve just thought of a way to bring your friends back to you,� he announced.
�Without humiliating them too badly, even.�

�� Draco.�

�� The tone
Harry spoke his name in was very nearly enough to make Draco drop to his knees,
and the shine of his eyes made them hard to meet.

He would not give up everything for
Harry, any more than Harry would give up everything for him. That would scar
and deform them both in the end. But he would give up much, because there was
very little he wanted more than this.

*

�� Thrnbrooke:
Draco did change his mind in time�barely.

�� qwerty: Draco
definitely doesn�t like the fact that Harry has a weapon he can never match in
power, and later on he won�t like the amount of time Harry spends on
Metamorphosis. But he can live with it, as long as he doesn�t listen more to
pride than to love.

�� SoftObsidian74:
Thank you! Harry didn�t mind Draco taking control inside the bedroom, because he
gave in. But Draco presumed on the illusion of more control than that, and
Harry is going to sharply correct him on that. He stood up to his best friends,
finally; he won�t lie down for a lover mentally, even if he does physically.

�� FallenAngel1129:
It was a spectacular hissy fit, wasn�t it?

�� broomrider949:
Harry might have preferred a period of silence. But Draco forced the
confrontation because he was so sure he was right.

�� Mangacat:
Hope you liked the argument in this chapter!

�� Yume111:
Draco isn�t worried because he really is confident that he can handle Lucius,
with Harry�s help. And he knows that Lucius can�t persuade him.

�� And no, I
don�t think Lucius was sincere. He just thought it would be nice if Draco
agreed to trap himself.

�� Alice
impressed Lucius mainly as someone who was intelligent enough to hold Draco�s
attention for a time but not intelligent enough to figure out she�d been part
of a magical manipulation, as well as magical enough to produce magically
strong children.

�� I don�t
think Harry was despairing. He was very worried over Draco�s safety, yes.

�� Harry does
somewhat resent that Draco doesn�t trust him�as you saw here.

�� He pities
Harry because he thinks keeping all the personas takes an immense toll on
Harry, and if Harry had been truly strong, he would have found some other way
to handle the tension than to divide into multiple personas.

�� And you
were very insightful when pinpointing the cause of their fight. Harry resents
the fact that his mere refusal isn�t good enough for Draco�that Draco wants him
to explain, and then his explanations aren�t good enough. Draco is also
convinced he can talk Harry out of his reasoning. Harry wants someone who isn�t
that sure, someone who will argue passionately because he respects his partner�s
strength and feels that he may lose.

�� SP777:
Draco did think that he was letting Harry be independent. But that�s partly because
he�s been around people who thought total control was a good thing for most of his life.

��
- 43
- 44
- 45
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

Changing of the Guard