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Struggling Through New Beginnings	By : HarryGinny4eva Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Draco/Hermione Views: 31233 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: Spoilers - I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 43
- 44
Disclaimer: Spoilers - I do
not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from
the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter 45 � The End (for now)

(FYI - poetic license taken with Harry�s birth
circumstance)

He watched her lips move as she explained the thing to Professor Hagrid, who
listened in rapt attention to her story.

�And, Father actually found one, a Crumple-Horned Snorkack.
He wrote that they are much bigger than he thought they would be. He�s going to
send a picture to me of it soon.�

�So, he�ll be coming back from Sweden soon then?� Hagrid asked. Luna�s father
had left on his mission to find the elusive creature as soon as Luna had
returned to school and hadn�t been home since. He kept in touch with his
daughter through regular owls though.

Greg shook his head and pretended to continue to search for the leaves with the
correct shade of pink on their edges. The
same shade as her lips�stop that, Greg! He sighed
heavily to himself. Care of Magical Creatures class had been very interesting
for Greg for a change. Actually, his whole morning had been a revelation so far.
If he had been asked back in September who his friends were, he would have been
hard pressed to come up with a list of five people. Even those five he wouldn�t
have been sure of, in that they�d always hung together, but never really been
close.

But, before and during breakfast, as several people he barely knew expressed their
sorrow at his breakup, he realized that he not only had true friends, but also a
great number of acquaintances. It was a lot for him to accept and in some ways
felt like he has stepped into someone else�s life; someone who hadn�t bullied
half of them for the past six years at the school.

Then, after breakfast on his way to Hagrid�s class, he�d been musing on all the
changes in his life when Luna Lovegood had stopped him.

�Gregory, did you know a photographic memory is a preeminent sign of great wandless
skills?�

He�d been startled by her sudden appearance at his side, and even more so by
her words and the use of his full name, �Huh?�

He jerked a bit when her soft hand fell on his arm to stop him from continuing
down the hall. When he turned his head she was gazing up at him thoughtfully,
but it didn�t even occur to him to wonder at what she was thinking about, as
her light, clear eyes held his gaze.

�My, you have large muscles. Hmmm. Wandless magic is very much about being able
to compartmentalize things in your mind. Having the ability to read something
once and put it away for later is just that.�

He found himself glancing between her captivating eyes and her moving pink lips
and realized he�d been holding his breath. He gulped in much needed air and
nodded stupidly as he wondered what, if anything, he was supposed to say to
either part of her short speech. It didn�t help that she still had her hand on
his arm.

Luna smiled up at him and said, �A couple of us were discussing your ability
and potential last night in our common room and thought you might like a tutor
of sorts.�

�My grades are fine. I�m not stupid!� he�d snapped with a bit more bite than
he�d intended. He was tired of people thinking him stupid. And, he thought she
would remember that, as she was the one he�d confessed his secret to in Charms
class the prior day. I want to find love
and have someone treat me like a normal person, not an ex-deatheater
or a big lump of stupid.

Her soft smile never wavered even though her eyes widened a little. �To be
stupid is to be lacking in the ordinary keenness of the mind, Gregory. I
believe we have already established that is not true in your case.�

He felt a slight tremor run through him at the way she almost purred his name,
but stamped it down and asked, �Why do I need a tutor then?�

She slid her hand down his arm and then away as she once again resumed her walk
to class. He instinctively fell in step beside her and waited for her answer.

�Do you think it possible they took my ball shoes? They were so very pretty. I
hope I get them back. I know they are rather small, but if three or four tried
together, they could carry them away?�

Greg once again found himself at a loss, �Wha�huh?�

�Nargles,� she answered as it was most obvious.

Greg shook his head a bit as he reached out to open the large front doors so
they could make their way down the hill to class, �What about them?�

Luna skipped lightly past him through the door, �Thank you. Well, it is almost
Yule time and they�re out and breeding. Maybe they took my shoes to help build
a nest or something.�

�As it�s just the beginning of November, Luna, I think it�s safe to say someone
in your dorms may have, erm, borrowed them. I�m sure
they�ll show up.� Then he seemed to remember their initial conversation and
wanted an answer before they got to class. �Why do you think I need a tutor?�

She sighed and looked up at the clear morning sky above them, �Perhaps you�re
right. They would be very small right now. We thought I could teach you a few
of our games. They might help stretch your mind a bit more so you can reach
your full potential.�

He didn�t think as he reached for her arm and pulled her to a stop, �You want
to help me be able to do wandless magic?�

�You�re as strong as you look, but very gentle,� she murmured appreciatively,
even though her eyes never stopped their scan of the sky above them. �No one
reaches the pinnacle of success without assistance, Gregory.�

He felt his own eyes widen at her words and the slight purr of his name once
again. He couldn�t think of a thing to say to her and he didn�t think to let go
of her arm. He never even realized he�d moved closer to her side.

Her light blue eyes once again met his as she smiled a secretive smile, �Think
on my offer. I think together, we might bring you to heights you�ve never
before reached.�

She gently pulled her arm from his grasp as she looked at his large hand and
murmured to herself, �So strong.� Then she stepped away and over her shoulder
said softly, �We mustn�t be late for class.�

He didn�t know how much time had passed as he stood still in the same spot,
mentally going through their short conversation again and again. He kept losing
his train of thought though, as he saw her lips moving in his mind�s eye as she
repeated the words �together, we might bring you to heights you�ve never before
reached. �

Laughter and the clap of a hand on his back brought him back to the present.

�Forget how to get to class?� Harry laughed.

Hermione, Ron and Ginny laughed with him, but not
unkindly and he fell in step with them.

�No, I was, uh,� he trailed off.

�Are you okay?� Ginny asked as he appeared to be at a loss. �Thinking about
Millie again?�

He started at the question, �What? No! I�m fine. It�s just Luna said we�that I
should�I mean that she would��

He didn�t see the looks pass amongst his friends as he trailed off again, his
eyes scanning the growing class and stopping when they reached the girl he�d
mentioned.

Hermione and Ginny smiled at one another behind his back, and Harry and Ron raised
their eyebrows at him. But, none of them said a word as they had reached the
rest of the students.

Hagrid, Ground�s Keep turned Care of Magical
Creatures professor, then greeted everyone loudly and gave them their
assignment for the day, which effectively stopped all conversation. The class
immediately set to work on finding the leaves with the correct colors, but it
didn�t keep the friends from glancing between the sprite of a witch and the
hulk of a wizard in speculation.

Greg tried to ignore their looks and act as if nothing was different, but he
couldn�t stop himself from seeking out Luna�s form as she moved ahead of him at
the edge of the Forbidden Forest. And, when she�d stopped to talk to the
professor about her father�s findings, he�d involuntarily stopped, too, so as
to not move too far away from her. Although he heard her words, it was her lips
that had him enthralled.

When she turned her head and their eyes met across the short distance, she smiled
and he felt himself redden as he returned her smile with his own grin. Then, he
hurriedly moved
further down the path away from her so he could regain control of his senses.

xxxxxx

Later that day, Harry moved down the empty hall and
headed to his favorite thinking place. For many years he�d gone to that spot
that overlooked the grounds at the end of the castle and sat on the edge of the
wall as he�d sorted through his most vexing problems. This day was no
different. But, the problem was absolutely the most personal one he�d ever
faced.

Ginny was pregnant.

When she�d told him the night before, after he�d confronted her on seeming off
and distant, he�d gone straight into shock.

�Preg�what? How? When?�

�Harry!� she�d cried in exasperation.

�But, we�we��

�Apparently, it�s not only the boys in the family,� she�d said faintly as she�d
looked away from him and wrapped her arms around herself protectively.

Harry dropped his head in his hands and closed his eyes as he remembered for
the thousandth time the look on her face when he�d sputtered, �What are you
going to do?�

He�d known even as the words had crossed his lips that they were going to sound
and be wrong, but he hadn�t been able to form any other thought.

�Mom, Dad? What do I do now?� he whispered into the air. �I love her. I know
she�s the one, but it�s all too soon.�

He stopped and listened to the wind, hoping against hope that another miracle
would happen and they would answer his inquiry. He waited a long moment as he
thought back on the times in his life when they had shown up, in one way or
another, right when he needed them most. If he listened hard enough he could
almost hear his father�s gruff voice calling his name.

�Harry?�

He jerked and almost fell off the wall at the voice so near his ear and the
hand on his arm. But, when he turned his head sharply, his eyes met those of
Remus Lupin.

�Are you okay?� Remus asked. �I called your name twice before you heard me.�

�Sorry, I�sorry,� Harry sighed in a bit of disappointment. �I was just thinking
about my parents.�

Remus moved to stand beside Harry and look down over the grounds in silence.
Harry was struck by the similarity between that moment and the one back in 3^rd
year. Taking a deep breath, Harry squeezed his hands together and once again
contemplated unloading his worries on his mentor and friend.

Before he could decide, Remus spoke quietly, �So, Harry. Another
Weasley on the way, eh?�

Harry gaped, then sputtered, �How�d you� Did she�� He
stopped abruptly when Remus� eyes met his and the older man shook his head a
little.

�I came upon her talking to Hermione before class yesterday. She seemed upset
and I started over to them to see if I could help.�

Harry waited as the professor stopped and seemed to struggle with his next
words. Remus turned his head away and closed his eyes for a moment as he
breathed slowly. Then he turned back to Harry.

�I heard its heartbeat,� he finally confessed on a harsh whisper.

Harry blinked for a minute before understanding dawned and he wondered briefly
which of them was more embarrassed. He didn�t know if his own shame at allowing
it to happen outweighed Remus� at admitting to his werewolf half�s intrusion.

�Oh,� Harry finally breathed as he looked away from the older man. After what
seemed a very long time to both, Harry asked quietly, �Are you very upset with
me?�

Remus didn�t answer immediately as he turned to look at the boy-turned-man who
was identical in looks to his father, Remus� dearest and most missed friend.
The thought of Harry�s father brought a small smile to his face and he
remembered a long ago conversation very similar in topic.

�Do you love her?� he asked very seriously.

�Yes,� Harry answered without hesitation.

Remus nodded approvingly and continued, �And, do you see yourselves sharing a
life? Having a family?�

�Yes, with everything in me. I want to be as good a father
as�as you are to Teddy,� Harry answered honestly, quickly and with absolute
certainty. But, then his voice dropped in apprehension, �But, not yet. It�s too
soon. We haven�t even really talked about marriage, not really. And, we�re
still in school. We both thought after school we�d travel a bit and��

Remus interrupted softly, �Harry, have you ever thought about your birth date?�

Harry looked at him and shook his head, his face a mix of fright and question.
�Huh? What do you mean?�

Remus smiled encouragingly as he said, �Did it never occur to you that your
birthday is in July when we had only graduated in May of that same year? That
their wedding date preceded their graduation date by quite a few months?�

�No. I�� Harry trailed off as realization assailed him. �Mum was�with me?!�

Remus nodded as he smiled and looked out over the grounds once more in memory.
�As I recall, your father didn�t take the news very well at all at first.� He
laughed a little to himself as he continued, �Ticked Lily off quite a bit, I
tell you. He said something along the lines of what she was going to do about
it and she didn�t talk to him again for weeks.�

When he turned his head to Harry�s the smile dropped from his face at the guilt
Remus saw on the younger man�s face. �Oh, Harry. What did you say to her?�

�Seems I take after my father once again,� Harry tried to joke sadly. Then he
sighed heavily and slid down the wall until he sat on the floor. �What do I do
now? What can I say to fix this, Remus?�

Remus put his hand on Harry�s head in a gesture of support as he answered, �I
will tell you what I told James when he asked the same thing, Harry. She loves
you and only wants to know you feel the same and will do right by her. She
needs to hear that you won�t leave her alone in this; that you will take
responsibility for what you have both done.� Then he squatted in front of Harry
and waited until the younger man lifted miserably scared and sad eyes to his
own before he finished. �You need to talk to her and decide together what is
best for you and your shared future.�

xxxxxx

�Do you ever think about the future?� Draco asked
softly above her head as he stared up at the multitude of stars above them.

They stood on the parapets of the Astronomy tower with his arms around her and
his cloak keeping them both warm. She had come up to meet him after class and
snuck in when the class had ended. It was against the rules to be up there
without a professor present, but their desire to spend some time alone under
the stars, along with the risk of being caught, had been enough to make them
try it.

She nodded her head against him and answered with a laugh in her voice, �You
know I do. Why do you ask?�

She felt him shrug as he said, �Just thinking out loud, I guess.�

Hermione lifted her head from him and looked up into his pensive face, �Draco,
talk to me.�

She watched as he seemed to think on what he would say. Then he lowered his
head and looked at her briefly before tightening his hold on her and looking
back to the night sky.

�There are a couple of things I know for sure,� he began quietly. �I know I
want to work in Potions with Severus as my mentor. I know I want to spend time
getting to really know my mother and the rest of my family. I know I don�t want
to be like my�that I want to live my life my way. I know that I love you and
want to be with you. I know that I want to see your face in the moonlight from
the tops of those buildings Professor Mills talked about in class, the Eiffel
Tower and Empire State Building.�

When he stopped talking, but continued to play with one her curls distractedly,
she questioned softly, �But?�

He looked down in surprise, almost as if he�d forgotten she was there, �But,
what?�

�You know all those things, but��

Once again he shrugged and looked away from her. Just when she thought he
wouldn�t answer, he took a deep breath and whispered on a choked breath, �I
know I�m scared.�

Of all the things to come out of his mouth in all the years they�d known one another, that was positively the last thing she would have
ever expected to hear. With great effort, she kept her chin from dropping and
willed her face to not look as shocked as she felt. She also swallowed back the
smile that threatened to bloom as she realized he trusted her enough to admit such
a thing to her.

Putting one hand over his heart and the other in his, she asked quietly, but
supportively, �Of what, luv?�

�Of�� he paused and closed his eyes as he lowered his head and rested his
forehead against hers. �Of losing everything again. Of
things going back the way they were. Of losing you. Of fa�failing again. I don�t know
what to do to make sure that I��

Hermione watched the tormented and ashamed face of the man she loved and her
heart broke a bit for him. She slowly let go of his hand and reached up to rest
her palm against his cheek as she stopped him.

�Draco, look at me,� she whispered. When he did, she saw real fear in his eyes
and wanted to cry for him. She said the first thing that came to mind, �Won�t happen.�

He looked away, �But, Hermione, what if��

�Won�t happen,� she repeated with absolute conviction as she forced him to look
at her once again.

He took a deep breath and nodded, even though she could tell he was far from
convinced. She stepped back from him and took his hands in hers, �Draco, it was
once said that the greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually
fearing you�ll make one. If you want to be active, you can�t be afraid of going
wrong. You can�t be afraid of making mistakes now and then. Loads of people believe
you become good just by doing no harm, but I don�t think that�s true. To be
good is to want to be so; to try and do good; to try
to be better each day. It�s acting without hate in your heart, but with the
best of intentions. But, Draco, to do nothing for fear of failing is the way to
stagnation, mediocrity. And you, my love, are anything but mediocre.�

He smiled a bit at her endearment and seemed to mull over her words before he
nodded a bit. Then he looked down at her sadly as he asked, �When I think back
on how I��

�No,� she shook her head and stepped forward to put her fingers over his lips.
�No more of the past. From tonight on, we focus on what�s coming, not what�s
been. The past can�t be changed by our regrets, but the future can be shaped
with our wants and wishes.�

He smirked at her and asked, �Very philosophical. Who said that?�

Hermione grinned a bit, �Luna when Greg apologized to her yesterday for how he
used to treat her.�

He laughed and pulled her close again when she shivered from the night air.
They stood quietly again each lost in thought.

A few minutes later, he leaned down and placed a kiss on the top of her head.
Then he said softly, �Thank you.�

In response, she tightened her arms around him and asked, �For what?�

�For loving me,� he answered. Then he pulled back and lifted her chin, so she
looked him in the eye when he added, �For liking me.�

She smiled, but could think of nothing to say. Instead, she went up on her toes
and placed a light kiss on his lips. When she pulled back she still saw worry
lurking in his eyes. �You are going to be just fine, I promise you. I think
your future is very bright and I look forward to seeing your many upcoming
successes.�

He smiled at her and moved a wayward curl off her cheek, �I love you,
Hermione.�

�And, I love you. You make me very happy, Mr. Malfoy.�

He sighed happily, more at peace because he knew she believed in him. He leaned
down and placed a slow, tender kiss on her soft lips, before he pulled back to
look at her upturned face. �You have no idea how happy you make me, too, luv. I just hope to keep making you happy for a long time
to come.�

She smiled and snuggled back against his chest with a contented moan, �I think
you will.�

�I�ll sure try,� he said as he looked up and watched a falling star streak
across the sky. He knew she�d seen it too, by the catch in her breath.

�Make a wish,� she whispered.

�Why?�

It was her turn to shrug as she looked up at him and answered, �It�s a silly
muggle thing I guess, but if you wish on a falling star, your wish is supposed
to come true.�

He smiled at her and answered softly �I wish for us to be five times happier
five years from now than we are tonight.�

She giggled softly against his chest, �You�re not supposed to tell your wish.
It jinxes it.�

He tilted her head up and leaned down until their lips were a breath apart.
When their eyes met he smirked and repeated her earlier words,
�Won�t happen.� Then he closed the distance.

xxxxxx

End of this story... Coming soon � Struggling Through Five Years Later

Quotes used in part in this chapter:

If one wants to be active, one must not be afraid of going wrong, one must not
be afraid of making mistakes now and then. Many people think that they will
become good just by doing no harm -- but that's a lie.... That way lies stagnation, mediocrity. - Vincent Van Gogh, letter to
Theo van Gogh, Oct. 1884

The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be
continually fearing you will make one. - Elbert Hubbard (1856 - 1915)

When you make a mistake, don't look back at it long. Take the reason of the
thing into your mind and then look forward. Mistakes are lessons of wisdom. The
past cannot be changed. The future is yet in your power. - Hugh White (1773 -
1840)

Author�s Responses: I wrote this
story for myself for two reasons. First, I wanted to prove to myself that Pansy
could be written as something other than a simpering idiot or a sadistic,
vindictive evil girl. That is not an insult to anyone who has written her that
way, as I enjoy those stories very much, but I wanted to see if I could do it.
Then, I wanted to give Gregory Goyle a new
personality. Maybe it�s because the boy who plays him in the movies is such a
cutie, but I wanted to be able to see him differently for a while. Thanks to
all of you, I have done that and I am proud of myself and thrilled with your
reactions. Thank you all so very much for every word of praise, criticism,
encouragement and love you have given me and this story. I am already writing Struggling
Through Five Years Later and having fun with
it. I hope to have enough written to post it in under a month. Wish me luck.
Thanks to many of you, I have a lot of really great ideas for it. Hugs to every one of you who have read, enjoyed, and/or commented
on this story.

margaritama:
Oh hon, I really didn�t plan to make you cry that
time. lol� I loved your responses and can�t wait
to see what you think of the sequel. I am really enjoying your new story, so
update again soon, okay? I�ll try not to make you cry so much in the next one.
;-) Seriously, thank you!

bLondpierogi:
Thank you so much! I am glad I was able to shock you. :-D

angeles:
No, no Blaise, Draco, Hermione triad, sorry. lol Sometimes you don�t always get the person you
liked in high school, no matter how much you liked them. I hope not to take too
long with the sequel. Thank you, dear!!

Dreamweaver: I am thrilled I was
able to stump you! Go me!!!� I am really
glad you liked Pansy and Tonks being friends. That came from nowhere and I
liked it so much that I kept it. I felt like she needed a motherly type friend.
I love reading stories where there are sparks and kabooms
when Draco and Hermione get together, they�re hot, but I was trying to keep it
as realistic, as possible without losing the romance. It seems it worked. *grinning happily over here* And, the horseback riding�I just had to! I couldn�t not have
her a virgin, but I didn�t want to deal with any
issues around her pain the first time. ha ha ha

No comments on whether or not she�s really pregnant and what happens as that is
all in chapter one of Struggling Through
Five Years Later. ;-) But, yes, you were dead on right about Blaise and
Hermione in your last review. tee hee
hee I am sorry poor Dean had to be a scapegoat for my
story, but it fit. Sigh�You are going to love what I did with Theo in the next
story. lol� Please do give me that resounding
�Hell, yes!� for Blaise. He�s learned a lot and swallowed a lot, so he deserves
it. I liked that Prof. Flitwick was the catalyst
without meaning to be, even if that wasn�t his intention. I love that I am able
to get you to �see� the story so clearly. THANK YOU!!

marie:
I promise not to let this story go until it�s done. And, thank you for your
wonderful words.

kazfeist:
Woo hoo!!! I love that I was able to shock you. Thank
you, hon, very much!

Qui: I am really glad you got to
catch up with the story and that you enjoyed it so much. Thank you so very
much. I am really glad you liked Ron�s reasoning, too. :-D

LadyBlueEyes:

(Chapter 43) I am glad you liked the Pansy/Tonks friendship, despite its strangeness.
lol Thank you for the
originality points. I love my best friends like nothing else and can�t imagine
my life without them to lean on daily. I see Hermione, Ginny, Pansy, and Luna
(Parvati is there, but not as tightly, know what I mean?) as the �Fearsome
Foursome� my friends and I have called ourselves since our teen years. Do you
know you are THE ONLY ONE to mention Theo and his love of lights?! Thank you! I
know it was quick, but I loved that part. lol

(Chapter 44) I called this chapter �Confession is good for the soul� for
myself. I seriously think they all needed to get those things out and there was
no way they would do it otherwise. Being able to use Prof. Flitwick
just made it fun. :-) I am really glad you liked it. I think in canon Ginny
would have protected herself more than any of the boys, but since I got to
write it, and I wanted one couple to have some strife going into the second
story, poor Ginny drew the short straw. Blaise had had enough mistreatment from
me. :-) And, isn�t miscommunication fun. LMAO Ron was definitely one of the
more fun people to write in this story, as I got to make him more grown up than
JK did even in the epilogue. :-D I am really glad you liked him. Thank you,
again. Hugs and love to you!

Jullsy: Hi
there. I am glad to know you are doing okay, even if you have been busy. I also
love that you took the time to catch up on the story. Thank you and I hope you
like the next story, too.
- 43
- 44
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