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Lost and Damned	By : danniperson Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Snape Views: 24087 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, the characters or the world or anything, and I make absolutely no profit from this.

Chapter List
- 43
- 44
- 45
LOST AND DAMNED

My Need to Possess You Has Consumed My Soul

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The night before Christmas break, Harry stood in the Gryffindor common room a bit more dressed up than he normally cared for. He sat with Dean (who was waiting on Ginny) on the couch while Cormac leaned against the wall boasting and bragging about how good he looked and how much fun the party was going to be and how lucky he was to score such a beautiful date (Lavender Brown) and how supposedly amazing he had been during the last Quidditch game. Harry and Dean didn't need to talk to exchange the message that they were both ready to hex him silly.

Ginny was the first to come down ten minutes after the boys were ready. She was beautiful in red dress robes, her fiery red hair in soft curls. She grinned at Dean and plopped down in between him and Harry. "I told Hermione we'd wait on her, if that's alright," Ginny said to her boyfriend who wrapped his arm around her and nodded. "And Cormac, Lavender might be a while. She can't decide between silver, gold, or blue robes," Ginny said, rolling her eyes. "Hermione's trying to help, but I don't know if she'll be of much help."

Cormac didn't seem to mind much. He was basking in the attention of Romilda Vane and her friends. Just three minutes later, Hermione joined them. She looked stunning in lilac colored robes with her brown hair in a sleek chignon. She wore light traces of make up, including glossy pink lips. Harry noticed Cormac stop to look at her, causing his adoring fans to turn and look on jealously. "You look great, Mione," Harry said, smiling and standing up, reaching out to take her hand.

"Thanks," Hermione said smiling. "Oh, Lavender should be ready soon," she said to Cormac. "I'm pretty sure she finally decided on the silver robes."

Ginny laughed and took Dean's hand and the four walked out and headed to Slughorn's office. "I heard Malfoy's going to be there," Ginny said as they walked, sending a glance in Hermione's direction. Harry wasn't sure if Hermione had told Ginny her problem or not with Draco, but she was sure to have noticed something. They had actually been friends for a little while until that day. "He's going with…Hestia Carrow, I think…And Theodore Nott is going with Flora Carrow. I don't know if Sluggy will like that very much. I heard he has an issue with Death Eater kids."

"Interesting," Hermione said, looking suddenly distracted. Her pace slowed a bit, but Harry squeezed her hand and tugged her along. The closer they got to Slughorn's office, the more they heard the sound of laughter, music, and loud conversation. Walking in, Harry was a bit surprised by how large the room was and he wondered if magic had been used to make it so big. He didn't think anyone else's offices were naturally this large.

The place looked dramatic with its emerald, crimson, and gold hangings and the ornate golden lamp that cast red light around the room. Loud singing and mandolins could be heard from one corner. There was a thick haze of smoke nearby around a group of elderly warlocks with pipes in deep conversation. Hermione looked scandalized by the number of house elves struggling through the crowd carrying silver platters of food and drinks. "Oh my God!" Hermione said, sounding disgusted.

"You talked to Slughorn about SPEW at all?" Harry asked curiously.

"Not nearly enough, apparently!" Hermione exclaimed, horrified.

"It's a party, just try to enjoy yourself," Harry encouraged.

"How can I enjoy myself when-" Hermione began, though she suddenly cut herself off, eyes growing wide. Harry had a good idea of why before he even looked, unsurprised to see Draco standing just a few yards away standing near Hestia Carrow dressed in green robes. She and her sister were dressed exactly alike, so it would have been entirely impossible to tell them apart, only which boy they stood beside letting Harry had a guess at who they were. Harry himself groaned when Theodore caught his eye and winked, offering a charming smile that had been known to make girls weak at the knees. Harry wasn't getting it.

"Harry, m'boy!" Slughorn exclaimed, coming up behind him. "And young Miss Granger! Glad you both could make it! Come along, many people I'd like you to meet!"

Slughorn gripped Harry's arm tightly and dragged him along and Harry tightened his grip on Hermione's hand to bring her along with him. He could hear Dean and Ginny laughing behind him and turned to shoot them both a playful glare. Maybe they could leave early, Harry thought to himself. He had at least made an appearance and Harry wasn't sure how much of Slughorn he could handle.

"Harry, I'd like you to meet Eldred Worple, an old student of mine, author of Blood Brothers: My Life Among the Vampires-and, of course, his friend Sanguini."

Worple grabbed Harry's hand and shook it enthusiastically. The vampire merely nodded mutely, looking bored.

"This, of course, is Harry Potter," Slughorn announced to Worple. "And I see he brought the lovely Miss Granger as his date. Brilliant and talented young witch, she is. Destined for a future in politics, I'm sure…She could change the Ministry in astounding ways, I believe."

Hermione blushed and smiled. "Thank you, Professor, but really, I don't think I'm that good."

"It is a pleasure to meet you both," Worple said with a grin. "Ah, Harry Potter, I am simply delighted! You know, I was just saying to Professor Slughorn the other day, 'Where is the biography of Harry Potter for which we have all been waiting?'"

"Er, were you?" Harry said, listening as Worple went on to explain how he would write Harry's biography for him and explaining how they could do it. Interviews and it wouldn't take very long to do. He paused for a moment to keep Sanguini from going after a group of pretty young girls before returning to discuss how immensely popular it would be and how much money he could make and how many people were dying to know more about him.

"I'm definitely not interested," Harry said firmly. "and I've just seen a friend of mine, sorry."

Harry pulled Hermione along into the crowd, eager to get away from…well, everyone, really. Unfortunately, they ran right into a group of Slytherins: Draco, Hestia, Flora, Nott, Zabini, and Daphne. "Sorry," Harry muttered, feeling Hermione tug hard on him to pull him away. Harry let her drag him off, though he heard Draco say behind him, "Excuse me for a minute."

"Think we've been here long enough yet?" Hermione muttered.

"I hope so," Harry replied. He wasn't really keen on this party to begin with and had only come for Hermione's sake. Slughorn got on his nerves and so did all of the people gaping at the famous Harry Potter. He saw many people eye him hopefully and step in his direction and Harry honestly did not feel like dealing with any of those sorts of people.

Hermione seemed to be headed in the direction of four Gryffindors: Ginny and Dean seemed to have been cornered by Cormac and Lavender. Lavender looked pretty in a set of pale blue and pale gray robes with her dark blond hair in a long braid. She was giggling girlishly, to Ginny's apparent disgust and Dean was looking around, as though trying to find an escape.

"Harry! Hermione! Wait a second," Draco called out, rushing around and coming to stop in front of them so that they had to stop. Draco held up his hand, a long necklace dangling from his index finger. The chain was white gold with a small sterling rose pendant on the end. "I think this fell off of you, Hermione?"

"Why…Yes…That…That's mine," Hermione said, holding her head high as she reached out her hand to take it. Draco held the bottom of her hand with his free one and slowly dropped the necklace into her palm.

"You look…really beautiful," Draco told her, earning a disgusted look from Nott that Harry glared at.

"Hello, Harry," Nott said with a smile.

"Well…Thank you," Hermione said nervously. "You…You look really great…yourself."

"Nott," Harry said.

"Theodore," Nott corrected with a smile, stepping closer.

Was he really going to do this in a room full of people? Especially a room full of people happily gawking at Harry? Harry glanced up and around at the shameless watchers. He almost didn't notice Severus standing in the shadows…almost. Harry could feel that intense gaze boring into him and it helped in seeking out the older man. Severus had a very strong look in his eyes as he stared at Harry, then went to glaring daggers into Nott's back.

"Umm…Theodore," Harry said, nodding his head and glancing towards Draco and Hermione.

"I haven't seen much of you lately," Nott said. "I…apologize if I came off a bit too strong. In detention with McGonagall and all."

"I've been busy," Harry replied. "And…Yeah. You were a bit forward."

Nott bowed his head apologetically. "You'll have to forgive me…It's not often one finds someone who shares our tastes and I'm afraid I got a bit too excited over the prospect."

"Right," Harry said, glancing to Draco and Hermione again, surprised to see Draco leaning in as if to kiss her while Hermione gaped at the mistletoe over her head. When Draco was close enough, Hermione finally looked back at him, seeming startled a second before their lips met, though she didn't push him away as he kissed her. Just past them, Harry could see Ginny staring at them in shock, face reddening a bit, though Harry didn't stop to think about what it meant. Ginny was there and could help Hermione if she needed it. Harry only wanted to get away from Nott before the boy did something stupid in front of everyone.

"Well, if you'll excuse me," Harry muttered, turning and pushing through the crowd that was now whispering excitedly. He was looking for the exit, but with so many people it was hard to tell where he was and he ended up in a secluded corner with Nott on his tail. "What do you want?" Harry demanded, glaring at the other boy.

Nott raised his hands, as if to show that he was harmless. "Just to talk, Harry."

"I can't imagine you have anything important to say to me," Harry said, becoming annoyed very quickly.

"Look, I know you have a thing with Snape," Nott said quietly. "But…You can do much better than that, Harry. You have so much to offer…You deserve someone who can give back just as much," Nott whispered seductively, stepping closer. Harry made to step aside and around Nott, but the boy was quick and had him back against a wall, glancing upwards. "Oh look…A mistletoe," he said, quickly leaning in to kiss Harry. His lips and tongue moved skillfully against Harry's mouth, his hands caressing Harry's sides.

Now angry, Harry shoved against Nott. Nott stumbled back, but came back in, grinning wickedly before kissing him again. The boy was a lot longer than he looked, pinning Harry's wrists to the wall. Harry hissed and bit the boy's lip hard, but he only moaned and smirked. Hissing in disgust, Harry tried to turn his head away instead and struggled, managing to finally get his leg free enough to stomp on Nott's foot, which made him loosen his grip enough for Harry to shove him away and punch him hard in the face. Nott growled and the force of it sent him stumbling to the side a few feet. Harry pulled out his wand and pointed it at Nott, a threat on the tip of his tongue when he felt a hand grip his shoulder hard.

"Ten points from Gryffindor for hitting another student," Severus said quietly, his voice low and dangerous. "And ten points from Slytherin for attempting to molest another student in public."

In public. Harry almost snorted, but his heart was racing too much, still too worked up over what had just happened. "Sorry, Professor," Harry grumbled, turning around to push through the crowd. He went to go find Hermione, but she was talking to Draco by a table a few yards away from Ginny and Dean who were snogging in the shadows. She looked okay from where Harry stood, so he continued on, narrowly avoiding Slughorn, as he found the exit and gratefully slipped out into the corridor.

He could feel someone following him. He didn't have to look over his shoulder to know who it was.

It wasn't a long walk from Slughorn's office to Severus's. While the Defense room was upstairs, Severus's office and quarters were still in the dungeons, near his precious Slytherins. He heard the office door close as he walked around the desk to the wall, glancing over his shoulder to be sure it was Severus before offering the password. The time the door had formed, Severus was standing directly behind him, but Harry said nothing as he opened the door and stepped inside. Harry marched all the way across the room, only stopping and turning to Severus when he heard that door close.

They stared at each other in silence a moment. Harry swallowed hard, his mind still racing from the events. Severus stared at him with such power that Harry thought those black eyes might burn holes straight through his body. The man stood tense, as though restraining himself with all of his power to keep from doing something. Harry could feel the fury radiating from him, clashing with his own anger.

"Are you alright?" Severus asked quietly, slowly stepping closer.

"Are you?" Harry shot back, hating how mean his voice sounded, but finding he could hardly help himself. Severus didn't seem to mind.

"I could kill him," Severus murmured, grasping Harry's shoulders and shoving him back a few feet, causing him to stumble back before hitting the wall. Severus straightened him up, staring down into his eyes. Harry found he couldn't look away, even if he wanted to.

"So could I," he breathed only a second before Severus's mouth slammed against his. Teeth clashes painfully and the force of his mouth was hard enough to bruise. Snogging or shagging while angry or jealous had always seemed like such a strange concept to Harry, but actually experiencing it, it made perfect sense. Severus gripped Harry's shoulders hard, holding him firmly against the wall while Harry moved his hands up to entangle his fingers in Severus's greasy black hair, tugging tightly on the long strands. Kissing, as it turned out, was a nice method of release from his anger, making him feel better and stronger. He kissed Severus back just as hard. It didn't' feel good in any sort of normal sense, but it was exactly what he needed. He kissed Severus back just as hard, pressing his body closer to Severus's and urging the man closer. Severus obeyed, pressing the entire length of his tall body against Harry's, sandwiching him between himself and the wall. It seemed like such a girl thing, being the one pressed into the wall, but Harry found he enjoyed being under Severus's power this way. He enjoyed the taste of the man's possessiveness and jealousy and fury through these kisses, telling him exactly what he meant to Severus in a completely new way. He felt needed and desired and possessed in such a powerful and addicting way.

"Tell me, Potter," Severus growled against his mouth before kissing him deeply again. He then moved his face down to Harry's neck, sucking and biting on the flesh hard. "Did you enjoy his kisses?"

"No," Harry gasped, clutching at Severus as he licked over the now sore area of his neck.

"Did you enjoy his touch?" Severus asked, emphasizing the word by pressing his hands hard into Harry, dragging them down his chest and stomach.

"No," Harry said, moaning as Severus moved to the other side of his neck.

"And why is that?" he whispered against his skin, continuing to nibble and kiss and suck up his neck until he reached his earlobe, capturing it between his lips.

"B…because he's…not…you," Harry moaned, pressing his hips desperately against Severus. His trousers were tight and he felt so hard it was painful. Severus grasped his hips and pressed their hips together, shifting his own body so that their arousals could align. Harry gasped sharply at the feel of Severus's erection through his black robes.

"What should that matter?" Severus demanded, switching from his roughness to gentle kisses along his jaw. "He's certainly attractive, isn't he?"

"Should I be worried that you noticed?" Harry asked breathlessly, moaning as Severus caught his bottom lip between his teeth, pulling gently.

"Answer the question," Severus commanded.

"I thought I was the only sixteen year old boy you were noticing," Harry muttered.

"Answer the question," Severus growled.

Not sure if he was more annoyed or turned on, Harry shoved Severus away and turned them around so that he slammed Severus half into the wall and half into the door to his bedroom. "I only want you," Harry assured the older man, kissing him deeply again. He wasn't sure what was wrong with him, only later assuming that Severus's intensity from his anger and possessiveness had rubbed off on him. He certainly hadn't been this pissed off, had he? It didn't matter much at the moment as Harry frantically rubbed their groins together while he grasped at Severus and kissed him hard.

A few minutes later, Severus reached over and grasped the doorknob, turning it and pushing it open before grabbing Harry again and flipping them again so that he was back in control, shoving Harry into his bedroom. Harry stumbled back a bit and nearly lost his balance, but Severus wrapped his arms around his waist and picked him up. Harry clumsily wrapped his legs around Severus for support. It didn't seem like a very manly thing to be doing, but Harry couldn't have cared less the way Severus was holding him and kissing every inch of him he could reach before dumping Harry onto the bed.

Harry sat up a bit and scooted back, but Severus was soon crawling over him, pressing down onto him and kissing at his neck while his fingers pulled open the buttons of Harry's dark blue robes. "You are mine," Severus whispered hotly into his ear, moving his lips downward until he met the newly exposed skin as he pulled at Harry's robes, shirtless beneath them (though he still felt a bit too weird to go without the trousers). Harry moaned as Severus trailed his lips along his collarbone, Severus's words still echoing in his mind. Harry tangled his fingers in Severus's hair, wanting desperately to pull off his robes the rest of the way, but not wanting to stop touching Severus for one second.

Both froze when they heard a pounding on the door. They barely dared to breathe, just waiting. The pounding continued after a few long seconds and they sighed heavily. "Bloody fucking hell," Harry grumbled.

"Goddamn it," Severus muttered, struggling to sit up and hastily adjusting his robes so that the bulge was less noticeable. "Wait here," Severus instructed, walking swiftly from the room and closing the door firmly.

Harry lay back against the bed, his heart pounding powerfully in his chest, a loud ringing in his ears. He laid quietly, straining to hear the voices outside, but he couldn't make out who it was or what was being said. He figured he could get up and go listen at the door, but found his body wouldn't cooperate much with movement. He was starting to feel a bit dazed by everything, a bit surprised by how the evening had turned out. He was angry with Nott for being such a pushy jerk and a bit panicked that he had been pushing so hard. He also had known that Severus could get a bit jealous, but was a bit shocked by how strong it was and where it had taken them. It was a bit hot, honestly.

It was hard to resist reaching down and fumbling with his trousers with shaky fingers. He pushed them down enough to reach into his boxers, grabbing his cock. He groaned as he stroked it firmly, remembering the fierce way Severus had grabbed him, how passionately he kissed him, that intense look in those black eyes…It wasn't long before he pressed his feet deeply into the mattress, orgasm overtaking him and ending as he slumped back into the bed, gasping quietly.

"If only the headmaster had seen that little display."

Harry shot up in bed, grinning sheepishly as he tugged his hand out of his pants and casting a quick cleaning spell over his sticky fingers. "That was Dumbledore?"

Severus nodded. "Wanted to be sure you were here. Granger and Draco were worried about you," he explained. He leaned against the doorframe and examined Harry a moment, hesitating a moment before speaking. "He said that…should we be cautious…he would grant us permission for you to stay here…with me…during the holidays."

Headmasters encouraging student-teacher relationships. Harry almost laughed out of amusement and gratefulness. He licked his lips. "Would you want me to be here?"

"After tonight's display, that should be obvious," Severus drawled.

Harry grinned. "Jealous, were you?"

Severus glared at him and stepped into the room, shutting the door behind him. He shrugged out of his own robes and dropped them to the floor, standing in a long-sleeved black shirt and black trousers. "My feelings for you have, to my great disgust, become very clear," Severus explained, stepping closer to the bed and pulling off his shirt. Harry's eyes became transfixed by his pale, bare chest…More strong and muscular than he appeared in his black robes, marred by long, pale scars. Somehow, the imperfections made him all the more appealing. "Now that I have you, I have no intentions of letting anything or anyone else get in the way," he said quietly, trailing his fingers over Harry's leg before crawling into bed beside him. "Nott wants you badly…Not because he's attracted to you, but for what you could do to him. He can be quite persuasive…And you are young."

"And you think he's better looking," Harry added, sitting up. "But I've already told you I'm not a normal teenager. I love you, Severus. You don't have anything to worry about."

"But I always will," Severus promised. "Every time anyone even looks at you in that way, I can't stand it," he confessed. He had to be caught up in the moment…Harry could hardly imagine the man saying such moving things just any day. "I do not share what is mine, and the mere thought of it…" Severus said, trailing off, just staring at Harry with that look in his eyes…Not nearly so wild as earlier, but just as intense and deep that the moment Harry met that gaze, it took his breath away.

Harry licked his lips and Severus laid out beside him and Harry let himself rest back again. Severus leaned down over him and kissed him deeply, softer now. Slowly they peeled away each other's clothes until they were only in their underwear and Severus maneuvered the blankets so that they were laying beneath them and they held each other close, kissing in a different way, but no less satisfying or expressive.

It was comfortable. He had never felt more safe than he did here with Severus. There was something so very exciting about knowing he was so desired and so loved…and while their raging need was gone by now, they were content and even happy with their new means of communicating their feelings to one another. Harry never wanted it to end, feeling entirely consumed in Severus's kisses and his gentle caresses.

Eventually, though, Severus pulled away. "We should get some sleep," he whispered, kissing Harry languidly one last time before putting out the lights. Harry might have protested had he not suddenly realized how tired he was and loosened his grip a bit on Severus, finding peace as they wrapped themselves around each other before falling into deep, pleasant sleep.

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Lost and Damned