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Amore et Amicitia	By : Kimmimaru Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Sirius/James Views: 6685 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any characters or settings by JK Rowling. I make no profit from this story.

Chapter List
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Chapter Forty-Four: Phoenix in cinere (The phoenix in the ashes)

“Ah yes! Right fucking there!!” Sirius gasped, his back arching dramatically as the boy pinning him against the cold cubical wall slid his erection out of his body and slammed it home again. He cried out and tensed, pleasure throbbing through his body and setting his nerves on fire. Fingers bruised his hips and hot breath tickled the back of his neck, he could see bright spots of colour exploding behind his eyelids as he gritted his teeth in a hiss. “Harder...” He gasped and pushed back against his one-night lover. He didn’t even know his name, it wasn’t as if he was familiar with everyone in Hogwarts, it was a large castle. “More...fuck me.” The boy moaned and began speeding up his movements on Sirius’ sharp command. Sirius’ nails dug into the wooden wall, his body shuddering as he was brought closer to his orgasm. He grabbed the boy’s wrist and guided it to his aching erection.

It was the Easter Holidays and yet the seventh years had so much homework they may as well not have been on holiday at all, Remus sat on his own in the library as he worked on a Transfiguration essay. He frowned down, re-reading what he had written;

Only the most powerful witches and Wizards are able to learn to become Animagus, it is an ambiguous branch of magic and so highly dangerous many choose to avoid it. There are only a few registered Animagus known to the Ministry, the most famous of who were Morgan Le Fay and Cliodna who both took the form of Birds...

“Remus!”

The werewolf looked up just as Sirius slumped elegantly into the seat at his side, he grinned as he pushed a chocolate egg towards him. “Happy Easter...” He said, his hair had grown long over the months, it was as shiny as always but there was a definite air of neglect to it in the form of a few split ends which had been absent before James had begun seeing Lily. Remus blinked down at the chocolate egg, it was wrapped in silver foil and a large red ribbon around it.

“Thank you, I didn’t think you celebrated?”

Sirius shrugged and leaned back in his seat, he pushed his hand into his hair with the familiar casual elegance. His expression was its usual one of arrogant boredom as he scanned the area and made girls smile and blush. He returned his eyes to Remus. “I don’t, but you do...I’ve never seen the point in celebrating some random bloke who rose from the dead...he was probably under the influence of a spell or potion anyway.”

Remus snorted in amusement. “Many muggles worship Jesus you know.”

“Worship? What’s the point in that?” Sirius looked genuinely confused. “He was just a person like you and me...isn’t it just ridiculous to expect people to worship each other?”

Remus sighed softly. “It doesn’t matter, Sirius...what are you doing here, other than giving me chocolate?”

“I was...bored.” Sirius replied with a small smile, he began pushing the egg so it rocked back and forth and the foil flashed beneath the candle light. “Where’s James?” He asked softly, his eyes took on a much less adult gleam turning him into a child.

“With Lily, they’re in the grounds by the lake...why?”

Sirius shrugged again, a fog of sadness surrounding him. “He’s...happy...isn’t he?”

“Of course he is, he’s been in love with Lily for a very long time. You know Sirius, you’re going to have to find someone else before their relationship kills you.”

Sirius leaned his elbow on the table, pushing fingers into his hair as he watched Remus writing methodically. “I know...but I can’t feel anything for anyone else. I’m not interested in them like I was James...I...” He sighed heavily and shook his head. “Not that it matters.” His smile was fixed firmly back on his lips and he reached over to put one hand over Remus’ essay. “Let’s do something, I’m bored moony.”

Remus glared down at the hand preventing him from working, slowly he put down his quill and took a breath as he prayed for patience. “Ok, what would you like to do?”

“Let’s walk...” Sirius stood, each movement smooth and unconsciously elegant as always. Remus was impressed, he felt that familiar pang of jealousy, he almost wished he could hold himself like Sirius did. Then he almost laughed, Sirius had been trained to walk properly, probably forced to walk with books on his head like they did in Muggle finishing schools for ladies. The image made him smile as he packed his books back into his bag and slipped it over his shoulder, Sirius took hold of his wrist and they walked out together.

XXX

The sunlight glittered off of the lake, James sat in the shade beneath a tree beside the girl of his dreams. He smiled as he watched her from the corner of his eye, her long hair was tied back in a simple tail that hung down her back. He lay back, resting on his elbows while she sat upright and watched the giant squid playing in the water. James chewed on his lip, he loved watching her, it made his soul sing and he wanted nothing more than to grab her and kiss her but he wasn’t entirely sure how she would react to that so he held back.

“Do you have a match tomorrow?” Lily asked suddenly, turning those eyes on him. He felt heat flood his face and his mouth opened and closed stupidly. Her smile was kind and gentle as she waited for him to speak.

“I-I...Yeah.” He croaked finally, he sat upright and rested his arm across one knee. “We’re playing Ravenclaw, will you be there?”

“Of course, I wouldn’t miss it.” She chuckled and returned her eyes to the lake. James followed the smooth line of her throat with his eyes as he pushed his glasses further up onto his nose. The day was pleasantly warm and smelt of spring, he turned and spotted a daisy by his hand. Slowly, moving so she wouldn’t notice, he plucked it from the ground and drew his wand from his pocket. Silently he transfigured it into a large white Lily, it’s very centre matched the colour of Lily’s eyes. He smiled, proud of his handy work. “Er...”

Lily turned and spotted the flower in his hand, she blinked once before her expression changed into something so beautiful it took James’ breath away. “Oh! That’s beautiful, James.” She said softly.

He lifted it and silently asked permission to put it in her hair, she nodded and lowered her eyes as he slipped the stem behind her ear. “It pales in comparison to your smile.” He said quietly and let his fingers linger on her cheek.

“Merlin that’s cheesy, James!” She laughed but was obviously pleased.

“It won’t die, I charmed it so it will endure.” He said and her smile widened.

Sirius stood in the shadows of a nearby tree, he couldn’t help but feel a pang of pain and jealousy as James’ finger lingered on Lily’s cheek. Remus stood at his side, one hand resting on his shoulder in a comforting gesture. Sirius leaned on the trunk and crossed his arms as he watched his best friend court Evans, his eyes were heavily lidded to disguise the pain he was in and his face was pale. He watched as James slowly tucked errant strands of hair behind Lily’s ear, slowly, ever so slowly he began leaning forward. Sirius tensed as James’ lips met Lily’s, her eyes widened in surprise before her eyelids lowered and she returned the pressure. James pulled away for a moment and smiled sweetly before going in for a deeper kiss. Remus saw Sirius’ distress and leaned forward; “We can go...if you want to.” He whispered. Sirius sighed and shook his head.

“I’ve never seen him look so happy, Remus...With her he can have a family, with her he can marry...How can I compete with that?” He smiled bitterly. “I’m so jealous.”

Remus squeezed his shoulder and leaned his head against him. “I’m here, if you need to talk.” He said.

“I know...thanks.” Sirius whispered and returned his eyes to the spot where James and Lily were kissing in the sunlight.

XXX

James pulled Lily by the hand into the castle, he grinned from ear to ear as her fingers entwined with his. Lily’s laughter was like sunshine and he was addicted to it, he pulled her close in the entrence hall and pressed a kiss to her lips again. He wanted nothing more than to hold her forever, she sighed happily in his arms and suddenly the whole hall erupted into cat calls and whoops of delight.

“Evans and Potter!”

“Oh, don’t they look adorable together?”

“Finally, I’ve been wandering when they would get together.”

“You owe me a galleon!”

James pulled away and pressed his forehead to hers, gently he stroked hair from her eyes and giggled. “So, reckon this makes it official?”

She arched an eyebrow. “Official? You mean you want me to be your girlfriend?”

“I want more than that, but that’ll do for now.”

She pulled away slightly and pretended to consider his offer. “Hmm...what will I gain from this, Potter?”

James grinned. “Me.”

She laughed brightly and kissed him again, her hands on his wrists. “Then I suppose I have very little choice.”

“Excellent!” James laughed. He took her hand and they began making their way up to the Gryffindor common room, stood on the stairs was Sirius with Remus. He paused, Lily sensed his hesitation and spotted his friends. Sirius’ eyes were dark and heavily lidded, there was no hint of his thoughts. She remembered that he was in love with James as well and bit her lip, she didn’t want to hurt him. She released James’ hand and took a step back. James watched cautiously as Sirius descended the stairs until he stood before his best friend, he took Lily’s hand and James’ and put them together again. “If ever there was proof of fate, this is it. Don’t let it go to waste...” He said quietly and smiled softly, it was an expression Lily could remember seeing on his face only a few times before and it made him look younger. “Be good for each other.” He stepped aside and James gazed at him.

James’ eyes darkened and he released Lily’s hand before enfolding Sirius in his arms. “You’re my best mate, my brother...nothing will ever change that.” He said quietly, he felt Sirius stiffen slightly before he hesitantly returned the embrace.

“I know.” Sirius replied and, in a whisper only James could hear; “I will never, ever stop loving you...remember that. I will be by your side forever.”

“Padfoot and Prongs.” James muttered as they broke apart, he smiled and turned to Lily. “Looks like we’ve gained a new member of our pack.” He said with a cheeky grin. “There’s so much the Marauders have to show you, Lily.” He held out his hand, he stood on the step above her, Sirius at his right hand and Remus at his left while Peter hovered in the background looking out of breath from where he had been searching the castle for his friends. “Do you want to join us?”

Lily gazed at the proffered hand and slowly a smile spread across her face. “Show me your world.” She said and James gripped her hand before pulling her up the stairs, Sirius and the others following.

“There’s so, so much we want to show you!” James gasped as they turned corners and went up more stairs. Lily felt out of her depth, there were secrets here, secrets she was obviously about to become privy to. She wasn’t sure what the Marauders got up to, only that they seemed to have a strange code as they used words that normally would be used in relation to animals. She realised, a little belatedly that they weren’t going to the common room but to the Astronomy Tower.

They reached the tower and James released her, he walked over to the crenulations and gazed out across his Empire. For seven years he and his friends had ruled the school and now it was slowly drawing to a close. He took a moment to gather his thoughts, the past was just that, the past. He now had a bright future ahead of him. Slowly he turned and met Lily’s eyes, the door was flanked by Sirius and Remus who were talking softly. Peter stood and watched him with an awed expression. His eyes scanned his friends as a seriousness entered his face, he clenched his hands into fists. “Well, I suppose I’m going to start by telling you all that I’ve decided what I want to do when I leave school.”

Sirius turned to him and raised an eyebrow. “Really? I thought you were just going to do nothing...or become a famous Quidditch player.”

James smiled softly at him. “There are more important things happening...things I can’t ignore...” He became serious again and turned back to the view. “We’re not kids anymore...We’re adults now and soon to leave school. It won’t be long before we’ll all be starting families and-” He was cut off when both Sirius and Remus snorted derisively, he turned and realised what he’d said. “Oh...yeah...” He shook his head. “Sorry...”

Sirius shrugged. “You’ll have your family, and your family is my family.” He smiled.

“Same here, James. Continue.” Remus added.

James took a second to adjust his thoughts before continuing. “For weeks now the Daily prophet has been reporting deaths, disappearances and even Giant sightings...” His voice was quiet and he had a frown on his face. “You know as well as I do what that means.”

“The Dark Lord’s on the move.” Sirius said quietly, the seriousness of the statement seemed to darken the sky.

James nodded. “He is. He’s rising to power faster than the Ministry had anticipated, I’ve been keeping an eye on the papers and...” He took a breath and turned back to them. “I’ve been talking to Dumbledore about it.”

“You never told me that!” Sirius exclaimed, his eyes widening, he felt a little hurt that James had kept that from him.

“I’m sorry, it was just casual curiosity at first but then I realised that he had a bigger hand in the fight against He-” James frowned angrily. “Voldemort.” He said firmly and ignored Peter’s shudder. “Than I first thought...from there it was only natural that I want to know what he’s planning.” He smiled sheepishly. “I asked him and he said that the Ministry was going to fall if he didn’t do anything, last month I had a meeting with Dumbledore and he said that in response to the Ministry’s weakness he has decided to gather as many strong Wizards and Witches as possible and create a group that can counter Voldemort’s Death Eaters.” He straightened and the wind picked at his hair, his hazel eyes narrowed behind his glasses and he gazed determinedly at each of them. “I’m joining this group.” He declared firmly. “I want to do my bit to help in this war and Dumbledore has gladly accepted my offer. I have to do this, I won’t sit idly by while he destroys everything.”

Sirius watched James through heavily lidded eyes, he folded his arms across his chest and leaned against the wall at his back.

Remus was silent for a while, he had his head cocked to one side. Abruptly he laughed, the sound shattering the heavy atmosphere. “I knew you would, Jamie.” He said with a smile, he opened his arms. “You wouldn’t survive for long on your own...count me in. I’m sure Dumbledore could use someone with my...erm...talents.”

James grinned and nodded. “Thanks, Remus.” He turned to Lily who shrugged.

“Where ever you go, I’ll follow.” She said softly.

James’ grin widened, he looked at Peter who shuddered. “I-I...I’m...I’m not so sure...” he squeaked nervously. Lily smiled gently.

“Peter, no one’s going to force you to do anything.” She said kindly, Peter flushed bright red before a rare gleam of determination entered his eyes.

“Ok, I-I’ll do it...Although...I’m not sure if I can be of much help.”

James nodded and turned to the last person, Sirius was gazing at him with an expressionless face. “Siri?” He asked softly, the smile slipping from his face.

Sirius tightened the grip he had on himself, his face softened for a moment. “I’ll follow you to hell and back.” He said in a tight voice.

Lily looked at him in concern. “Are you alright?” She asked.

Sirius glanced at her and away again. “Fine.” He said roughly. “I guess that’s it then...We’re joining Dumbledore and fighting against the Dark Lord.” He took a shuddery breath and closed his eyes a moment, he tried to collect himself but was unable to.

“A-are you...afraid?” Lily asked, sympathy evident in her voice. She moved closer to Sirius and he opened his eyes.

“Afraid? Of the Dark Lord?” He smiled weakly. “Terrified, just like everyone else is.” He shook his head. “But It’s not what you think...I...it’s much more complicated than that.”

Remus sighed softly. “Lily, the decision for Sirius is a lot harder than it is for us.” He began slowly. Sirius gazed at him, his gratitude obvious in his eyes. “You see the Black’s have been strong supporters of Lord Voldemort since he first came to this school. They are a one of the Oldest Pureblood families who’s lineage go back to the founding of Hogwarts, perhaps further. If he joins us in this fight then he will not only face Voldemort but his supporters...he will be faced by his family.”

Lily bit her lip in pity and understanding. To be forced to hurt and perhaps kill your own family would be an awful situation to be in, she could understand Sirius’ reluctance. “Then why are you doing it?” She asked.

Sirius looked at James. “Because someone needs to protect your idiotic boyfriend.” He said with immense affection, his smile faded as quickly as it had come. “And because I despise them all. I hate them more than anything else in this world...all except one person.” His voice drifted off into a whisper as Remus put a comforting hand on his arm.

“Regulus wouldn’t be so stupid as to join them.” James said with a smile.

“Don’t be so certain about that, James.” Sirius replied. “He’s stupid and weak...he’s been obsessed with the Dark Lord for as long as I can remember. I’m almost certain that he will happily join their ranks.”
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Amore et Amicitia