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Changing of the Guard	By : Lomonaaeren Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Draco Views: 58627 -:- Recommendations : 4 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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Thank you again for all the reviews!

Chapter Forty-Five�The
Past Collides With the Present

�� But if
your home life really was like that, why did you say all those stupid things at
school?� Harry asked, and then added, �Wait, don�t speak yet. This step says
that you need to remain still whilst I cast the third spell on your face.�

�� Draco
waited obediently as Harry waved his wand through a looping motion and murmured
a few Latin words, but asked as soon as Harry nodded to him, �Why did you have
to cast a spell on my face?�

�� Because
it�s the Lover�s Face Curse,� Harry said patiently, as though he had already
reckoned this would be Draco�s question. �It creates a link between your eyes
and Alice Moonstone�s face. You would actually look for her when you went out
in public, trying to meet her eyes and start the process of becoming her lover.�

�� Draco
shifted uncomfortably. The more he found out about the curse his father had
chosen to bind him to Alice Moonstone, the more disturbed he grew. On one hand,
he supposed he should think his father respected him; this was no weak magic,
and Lucius had finally given up his delusion that he could bind Draco with soft
words or false promises. But Lucius had been content to see him spend the rest
of his life as a slave, and only fear of Harry�s magic had made him change his
mind.

�� Draco would
have much to say to Lucius when next they met.

�� And now,�
Harry went on, as he glanced back at the book spread open in front of him for
the next step to remove the curse, �you were telling me that your parents loved
you and encouraged you to have pride in yourself more than they encouraged you
to hate Muggleborns, or even me. Why did you say those stupid things to me and
Hermione, then? I know I irritated you, but she didn�t seek you out or act in
direct rivalry to you the way I did on the Quidditch pitch.�

�� My parents
gave me too much pride.� Draco shifted again in the chair, his eyes on the far
wall. This conversation was teaching him new things about himself. Harry hadn�t
asked these questions until now, and Draco had imagined he could answer them
honestly without flinching�certainly far more easily than Harry could tell his
many secrets, because Harry was fractured mentally and Draco was whole. But he
had trouble either finding the words or thinking Harry wouldn�t judge him for
what he said. He didn�t think he would
have wanted to date someone who sounded as uncertain as he did about the
simplest things.

�� He didn�t ask, and he should have, if he
wanted to know about me. But I also didn�t volunteer anything. Now I know why.

�� And I was
the first serious challenge to that pride?� Harry glanced up, raising an
eyebrow. He looked entirely like himself, and Draco didn�t hear Brian in his
voice or see him in his face now, but the incredulity in Harry�s tone still
made him want to glance away. Talking about himself gave up some measure of
control, if only the control to steer the conversation.

�� You were,�
Draco said softly. �And Granger was the second. It was worse that she didn�t compete with me directly, that most of the
time she didn�t seem to notice I existed. She just went after the marks for the
pleasure of winning them, and studied the subjects extensively because she
wanted to. I never heard her mention whether her parents were particularly
proud of her��

�

�� I�m sure
they must have been,� Harry said, and, keeping his eyes on the book, muttered
three more Latin words. A white glow enwrapped Draco for a moment, then peeled
away like a cocoon. Harry glanced up, grinning. �That should be almost the last
of it,� he said, and gestured Draco to continue.

�� But not
like mine.� Draco folded his arms and scowled at his stomach. �Lucius was less
proud of me than he would have been if I had succeeded in getting the top mark
in every class, or if I had won on the Quidditch pitch. He would smile and speak
of my accomplishments, but I could see the slant at the corner of his eye, the
way he would look at me in disappointment when he allowed the smile to fade. He
would never betray that he was irritated with me to someone outside the family;
that would have been a severe breach of blood loyalty. Nor did he scold me
often. But he could speak a silent language to me, just as he could tell me without
scolding me when I was being too loud in public and he wanted me to be silent.
I understood what he wanted to say, and because of that code of silence I
couldn�t even confront him about it.�

�� There must
have been other challenges to your pride,� Harry said. �I couldn�t have been
the only one, and I know Hermione didn�t get the top marks in every class. She struggled in
Arithmancy, she told me.�

�� You were
the first two, and the worst,� Draco said. �I couldn�t stop thinking about you.
I was also certain my father would be as proud of me as he should have been if
I could manage to beat one of you once.
I would have shown him I had the capacity to do it, and then he could choose to
think I was conserving my energy on the other occasions for more important
things, like studying spells not taught in school. He never expected me to have
boundless energy or to be good at everything. He didn�t care about Gobstones,
for instance.�

�� He shifted
again. He hadn�t known he believed all those things about his father; they were
things his adolescent self had known without words, and his adult self had been
able to put aside, because he knew he was cleverer than Lucius and able to act
outside his control. Speaking the words made him sound like a petty, bitter
child who still resented his father for actions that wouldn�t look large to
anyone outside the family.

�� But he
hadn�t been that child in a long time.

�� That
answers something else I used to wonder about,� Harry said quietly, and then
squinted thoughtfully down at the words on the page. �Buckbeak.�

�� Draco
blinked, thrown. �Who?�

�� The
hippogriff who bit you in your third year.� Harry glanced up with unreadable
eyes. �The hippogriff you tried to have executed so it would hurt Hagrid.�

�� Draco
tightened his hands. He would have liked to say, as he had then, that Buckbeak
was a vicious creature who deserved to be put down, and that Hagrid should
never have allowed hippogriffs near children. The last was still true, but he
also knew that he had provoked Buckbeak on purpose, and disobeyed instructions
that seemed to have kept Harry, at any rate, safe.

�� But you
made it about more than just destroying the hippogriff who hurt you,� Harry
continued. �You made it about more than hurting Hagrid, even. You were always
looking to see how I would take it. You wanted to hurt me when Buckbeak died. I suppose you related other challenges to
your pride back to the one I gave you?�

�� Yes,�
Draco said through stiff lips. �I�m not proud of it, but there it is.� He
coughed. �And I am sorry for getting him killed.� He wasn�t sure what good the
apology would do, coming seventeen years too late, but he would give it.

�� Harry gave
him a sudden, brilliant grin. �Oh, but he lived.�

�� Draco
blinked. �Father never discussed that with me,� he said. �He mentioned that
Walden Macnair was less than pleased when he came back from the execution, but
I assumed the beast didn�t give him the sport he wanted. Did Hagrid let him go
before they arrived? And how did he avoid going to Azkaban for that?�

�� Hagrid
knew he had to give in to the law, actually,� said Harry, and grinned more
widely. �Hermione had a Time-Turner that year, because she was trying to attend
all the classes that were available.
We used it to go back in time and rescue Buckbeak, as well as�other people.�
His face darkened for a moment, and Draco opened his mouth to ask for that story, but Harry had pressed on.
�Macnair couldn�t blame Hagrid for it because he knew he was in his hut the
entire time.�

�� Draco
leaned back in the chair, shaking his head. From the brilliance in Harry�s
eyes, as if he were remembering some adventure in one of his personas that had
gone exactly the way he planned it, he didn�t share the thoughts filling
Draco�s head. �Dumbledore entrusted you with that, and with many other
challenges that weren�t appropriate to a child your age,� he said.

�� And you
got entrusted with more responsibilities than you should have, even if you were
three years older than thirteen when you had them,� Harry responded gently, and
leaned forwards to smooth the hair out of Draco�s eyes. His hand lingered for a
moment on Draco�s forehead, as if he were
the one who had the lightning bolt scar. �The burdens Dumbledore put on you
that year wasn�t fair, either. And then I cut you apart with the Sectumsempra spell, just to make
everything harder.� He shuddered and shook his head.

�� Draco
swallowed. He had not thought Harry would bring that up; he had envisioned him
leaping to an angry defense of Dumbledore�s judgment instead. He turned his
hand and caught Harry�s wrist. �I still don�t think you�re entirely right,� he
said, speaking before he could think better of it. �I would have told you these
things if you asked me. That�s a lot different than hiding secrets from you,
the way you tried to hide the Pensieve from me.�

�� Harry
looked at the floor. Draco could see him biting his lip as though he were
forcing away anger. Then he looked up, and nodded.

�� You�re
right, and I�m sorry,� he said. �But I wanted you to offer me information about
yourself for two reasons. First, I thought that would show you were really
comfortable around me, that you wanted to tell me about yourself because you wanted to. Second, I didn�t know how
much I could ask without driving you away.�

�� Draco
stared at him. �Harry, a clumsy question wouldn�t drive me away.�

�� As you so
aptly reminded me,� Harry said with more fire in his voice, �I know far less
about behaving like a normal person than you do. I�ve gone out of my way for
ten years to avoid any conflict because it might make someone else mildly
uncomfortable. I translated any and all inconvenience into a belief that I
would ruin my friendship with Ron and Hermione if I did something as ordinary
as talk to them about a man I dated. And Draco�� His face flamed red abruptly.
�I care about you�more than I do about them. I�m not particularly proud of that.
I think I ought to care more about people I�ve been friends with for nineteen
years. But I don�t. Maybe that will change when we reconcile. Right now, it
hasn�t.�

�� So you
feared even more to drive me away,� Draco whispered, and lifted a hand to
caress Harry�s cheek.

�� Harry
nodded, then laughed. �A right pair of saps we are!� he said. �We know so much
about each other, and we still can�t figure out the best way to talk about
things like ordinary people without getting hurt.�

�� I don�t
think that�s unusual,� Draco murmured. �I had something of the same weakness
myself. I could have challenged my father years ago and won free of him if it
was simply a matter of asserting my independence. But I tried to spare his
feelings and didn�t confront him even when it would have been the best thing
for both of us, even when I knew I had no hope of making him think I was right
by slight hints. Why? I feared the consequences. I feared hurting him. And my
mother most of all.�

�� Harry
nodded against his hand. �And that�s why I�ll need you to tell me openly when I make a mistake,� he said.
�I can accept someone talking to me about that. I can�t accept someone acting
as though I should already know I was making one and apologize for an offense
that�s not out in the open.�

�� I didn�t��

�� You didn�t
mean to, and maybe you didn�t and I�m just misinterpreting things,� Harry said
firmly. �But that�s the way I felt you were talking to me in the kitchen. The
more patient and controlled you got, the more I felt as if you wanted to be the
adult and wanted me to be the child who would just listen and do as I was
told.� He sat back, and his eyes as they held Draco�s had the sharpness of
Horace Longbottom�s. �Coddling doesn�t work for me anymore.�

�� Draco
sighed. He wanted to argue that everyone needed coddling sometimes, and anyway,
some was necessary in this case because Harry could take offense at the
slightest things. He�d never meant to suggest Harry was a child.

�� But he had
time to talk like that�years and years of time together. For the moment, he
knew what had gone wrong, and he thought he knew how to avoid another fight of
the same kind, though not all fights all the time.

�� And he had
the ability to ask for coddling himself, to talk about himself if he wanted and
ask for sympathy.

�� Perhaps someday
he would even get used to that.

�� Harry spoke
the last incantation to free Draco from the curse by whispering it into his
ear, cradling his face between his hands and working his fingers into Draco�s
hair. Draco closed his eyes and thought he felt more than hostile magic melt
away from him as Harry gently stroked the back of his head.

*

�� The owl
that hurtled through the window towards lunchtime and began hopping and hooting
on the table in front of Harry was the biggest he�d ever seen. He reached out
and took the letter, a moment before Draco�s hand got there. Draco sat back in
his chair and shook his head, staring at him.

�� What?�
Harry asked, tearing open the envelope. It had come from Kingsley, as he knew from
the loop of the writing before he looked at the signature, and the man might
well have important news about the Aurors or about Counterstrike.

�� You don�t
know what hexes could have been on that thing,� Draco said in a voice that
trembled with tension like a cup of water brimming above the surface. �And you
didn�t check for any before you tore it open.�

�� Harry
prevented the rise of his own anger. He understood better why Draco would make
such remarks after his explanation about his father and how Draco hadn�t wanted
to hurt him. Draco wanted Harry to avoid coming to any harm, too.

�� The wards
around the house wouldn�t have allowed the letter to pass if it had such
hexes,� he said gently. �It doesn�t even allow Howlers to pass.� And then he
lost himself in the sense of the letter, suspecting it would be the best thing
for both of them right now.

�� Dear Harry:

�� I have questioned Ron, as well as a number
of other Aurors. You will be pleased to know that Ron did not realize whose
orders he was acting on. He thought the raid on the party, as well as the one on
the meeting of your faction, had my full sanction, and he looked sick when he
realized they did not.

��

�� I have been less successful in discovering
all the members of Counterstrike. Some of the Aurors I interviewed have argued
with me that the Ministry should enforce the laws against homosexuality, and if
I didn�t care to, they would do it themselves. I have showed I would have no
trouble sacking them for such an action, and brought them to their senses. But the
prejudice will remain in your dealings with the Ministry, and I cannot promise
that you will be entirely safe.

�� Harry
nodded. That, he�d expected. Counterstrike as an organization might be brought
down, disbanded, or deprived of funding, but that wouldn�t cure the misconceptions
of people who thought no gay wizard or lesbian witch would ever want children,
or who believed that gay sex was disgusting because they didn�t practice it
themselves. This struggle would be protracted, and Kingsley could only help in
part of it.

�� I have made it clear that I do not consider
the enforcement of these laws important given that we have many open cases
concerning actual Dark wizards, murderers and rapists and worse. Most of my
Aurors have submitted. The names of those who have not follow.

�� Harry
raised his eyebrows. He had not expected Kingsley to give him any specific
warnings. He memorized the names in a few minutes of staring, then read the
last paragraph of the letter.

�� To my knowledge, the person who informed
Counterstrike about the meeting was not a member of any Auror corps. I also
believe that the man who dealt with Lucius Malfoy, or at least received his
money, to set up the group was most likely named John Grey. He has remained
modestly out of sight the last few years, but shortly before the war he was one
of the major contenders against Scrimgeour for Minister. He has never made a
secret of his own extremist views, which include bending everyone into one
political mold, disposing of Muggleborns as well as homosexuals, and cutting
off contact with wizarding communities in other countries. He believes that
British wizarding pure-blood culture is the only �untainted� one left, and I
can see him seizing the chance to fulfill at least one of his political goals
through this group.

�� Kingsley Shacklebolt, Minister of Magic.

�� Harry
scowled, dropping the letter to the table. He had heard of John Grey before,
though never met him except as a distant face at a few of the parties he had
attended in disguise. The man was thoroughly unpleasant, but tolerated for his
money, the reputation of his grandfather, and some of his ideas, which many
pure-bloods like Lucius Malfoy thought vaguely were the �right� ones, if too
extreme for everyday use.

�� Bad news?�

�� Harry
started and looked up. Draco was leaning across the table, one hand hovering as
if he wanted to touch Harry but weren�t sure it would be welcome. Harry smiled.
They were being very careful around each other right now. In some ways he
mourned the easiness between them when they had first come together as Draco
and Brian, but they could have achieved it now only by ignoring ninety percent
of their lives and emotions.

�� Harry
stretched the rest of the way, clasped Draco�s hand in his, and nodded. �We�re
fighting John Grey.�

�� Draco made
a horrible face. Harry laughed. �I take it you�ve met him? I�ve never had that
dubious honor.�

�� I�ve met
him, and I hate him,� said Draco, with a rawness in his words that made Harry
blink. �If he�s behind Counterstrike, then of course we have to destroy him and
embarrass him publicly if at all possible.�

�� From what
I�ve heard, he�s never yet let himself be lured into an open strike at his
enemies, no matter how much he hates the people on the opposite side,� Harry
said. �That�s the reason his power has managed to endure so long. He never lets
himself be undeniably associated with
anything objectionable, and so people still feel compelled to invite him to
their houses.�

�� Draco
nodded slowly. �He didn�t join the attackers at the party, though he couldn�t
have known you would embarrass them publicly,� he said, and closed his eyes for
a moment. �I know him, yes, but I still know too little of him. I don�t even
know where the majority of his money came from, which is something I know about
almost every other pure-blood family. That bloody reputation of his holds
everyone at a distance.� He looked at Harry and raised an eyebrow. �I suppose
you don�t have a persona who could approach him and find out what we need to
know?�

�� Harry
started to shake his head, then paused. A moment later, he began to grin.

�� What?� Draco
demanded.

�� None of
the normal ones, at any rate,� Harry said. �A few people who only exist on
paper, Horace Longbottom�s cousins, tried to make contact with him at one
point, and he rebuffed all of them. But there�s someone I made up in a fit of
mischief one night and then never used who might be perfect.�

�� Draco
leaned forwards attentively. Now that Harry was looking at him with some
knowledge of who he�d been as a child and as Lucius�s son, he could see the
barely concealed impatience in his expression. That knowledge contented him.
Draco was not perfect and flawless in his control after all, and Harry didn�t
have to worry so constantly about offending him or about seeming inferior next
to him.

�� Harry
paused, to see how much Draco might be tempted to let him get away with.

�� Who?�
Draco said this time.

�� His name�s
Vivian Wilde,� Harry said. �He is quite, quite prejudiced. Terrified of nearly
everyone different from himself, in fact�Muggleborns, women, Muggles, people of
some other skin color than his own, foreigners, people who aren�t
pure-blooded.�

�� If he�s
supposed to be pure-blooded,� Draco said, �I don�t know if we have a chance.
Mr. Grey does know all the secrets of
all the pure-blood families, and I think he�d be able to recognize an
imposter.�

�� He never
recognized my characters as imposters,� Harry said softly.

�� He might
have decided that he shouldn�t interfere in concerns that didn�t directly touch
him,� Draco said, folding his arms. �But it would be different with someone
approaching him and daring to make contact with his august majesty.�

�� Trust me,�
said Harry, and here his grin began to break forth, �his genealogy will not be good, but it will be impeccable. He�s
going to be your cousin.�

�� But I only
have��

�� Draco
stopped. �My cousin Maxwell,� he said. �Who�s a scapegrace and certainly could
have had a bastard child we�ve never heard about.�

�� Harry
nodded enthusiastically. �At the very least,
Grey wouldn�t be able to disprove it right away,� he said �And Lucius�s denials
wouldn�t mean anything, since he doesn�t acknowledge that side of the family in
any case. I think Grey would be intrigued enough to meet with a cousin of yours
who�s intent on betraying you.�

�� Maxwell
would cooperate, I think,� Draco mused. �The one thing I know about him is that
he�s never let the chance for a joke go by. He sent a card to my father when I
was born, congratulating him for melting the icicle, as he called my mother, at
least once.� He nodded. �His owl ought not to take more than a few days to
arrive.� He raised an eyebrow. �And then?�

�� Harry smiled.
�I offer valuable, true information about
the rebellion, and get Grey to appear in public with Vivian. And��

�� He paused,
as the plan changed and unfolded again in his mind. �I wonder if I dare,� he
muttered, but he already knew that he had the courage for it. The real question
was whether he could morally go through with it.

�� Yes, I think I can, especially when Nusante
has not been helpful these past weeks. I hoped he would come around to reason
given time, but we need him
reconciled to the rebellion, and that means reconciled to Harry Potter.

�� He grinned
fiercely at Draco, who looked simultaneously frightened and entranced. �How good
are you at glamours?�

*

�� Broomrider949:
Draco isn�t thinking of cursing Ron and Hermione; he�s thinking in terms of
what he can do to reconcile them to Harry.

�� FallenAngel1129:
Thank you! In this case, I think Draco and Harry have complementary aspects
that bring them to equality, even though they�re not equal in, say,
self-confidence or magical strength.

�� Thrnbrooke:
Their relationship needed to be tested like that. They had an easy comradeship
based on compatibility in bed and on dramatic gestures, but that�s only 10% of
life.

�� Mangacat:
You�ll get to see Draco�s plan to reconcile Ron and Hermione with Harry after
the plan to embarrass John Grey and reconcile with Nusante.

�� qwerty:
Draco has as yet not told Harry his idea, so that will wait for a bit. ;)

�� SoftObsidian74:
I do think that Draco�s flinging his hand up in front of his face was
justified. It was more the remarks afterwards that hurt Harry, and he really
hated the contradiction between Draco apparently valuing his personas and then
disdaining him for having them at all.

�� They deal with
Counterstrike and Nusante first, then Lucius, then Ron and Hermione.

�� 70_Sol_Laen:
Thank you! And yes, they will need more clarity. If nothing else, Draco will
need to explain what he needs and requires instead of simply assuming Harry
knows already, and Harry will need to explain why he�s offended instead of
assuming that Draco intended to
offend him.

�� Anon:
Thanks for reviewing!

Yume111: That�s interesting that
you see that; I�ve had reviews from other people who feel that Draco is far
stronger than Harry mentally, in part because he never fractured.

�� I would
argue that the Draco situation is different from the Nusante one because after
Draco lashes out and says some pretty hurtful things, he does manage to
overcome his pride (and even when he was saying those things, he knew he was
only doing it to salve his pride). Nusante knows it�s outraged pride, too, but
he can�t bring himself to overcome it yet (so Harry is going to do it for him).

�� And no,
Harry didn�t retreat all the way into Brian.

�� I think
loss of control is very scary for Draco. The last time he really couldn�t
control what was happening to him was his seventh year at Hogwarts, and he
essentially made a vow to himself to let that never happen again.

��
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Changing of the Guard