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The Long Road	By : SinisterMe Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Snape/Remus Views: 63598 -:- Recommendations : 3 -:- Currently Reading : 18
Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction using characters from the Harry Potter world, which is trademarked by J. K. Rowling. This story is purely for entertainment purposes, no money is being made from it.

Chapter List
- 44
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- 46
The three of them spent the rest of the day together. It was almost a blur for Severus, though he did make sure to take some time to speak with Fred. He had a very specific set of instructions for the elf.
He and Remus kept Teddy busy until supper, which they ate the same as usual, together and at ease. They had a spot of tea while Teddy and Fred did up the dishes, having way too much fun as they did. Severus was content to sip his Darjeeling and watch Teddy giggle and splash water about the kitchen.
When that was done, he got the boy to go change into his nightclothes, checking the child for hidden injuries or signs of further abuse as he did. Only the one bruise, which he covered in healing salve.
He and Remus reclined and read while Teddy sculpted clay for about an hour. He then Summoned the Hobbit from upstairs and let the child snuggle up against his side while he read aloud another chapter. When Teddy had drifted off, he moved Remus back to his chair and carried the boy upstairs cradled against him, his father levitating behind.
He tucked Teddy in, making a small fuss about having the covers straight and the dragon tucked in beside him. He turned to find Remus gazing at him with a soft expression. He said nothing about it, moving both of them to his chambers and going to light a fire.
There was a small rapping sound at the window. Severus went and undid the latch and a large great grey owl swooped into the room, landing on a tall perch in the corner of the room.
“He’s beautiful,” Remus admired from his sear near the owl. “Is he yours, Severus?”
“As much as he belongs to anyone,” Severus replied. “Damned intelligent thing, knew I wanted to send some correspondence.”
Snape paused and scribbled a few sentences on piece of parchment before rolling it up and tying it to the owl’s leg. Sparing no time, he scratched another two letters and tied them to the owl’s leg as well. This one was strong, the distance he would fly tonight would be but an exercise for him. He proffered a large treat and the owl flapped his wings and darted back out the window. Hopefully the first letter would not be sent in vain, its receiver too numbsculled to figure out what it meant.
He took up a mostly full bottle of Scotch off of his shelf and went to sit by Remus, pouring two tall glasses. He handed one to Remus without a question; if the man couldn’t use a drink after today, then he never would need one.
Lupin accepted and drank a good measure without a word. Severus approved and did the same. They both watched the fire for a while, drinking pensively.
“Are you going to tell me what happened?” Remus finally asked, holding his empty glass out for a refill. “I’m not an idiot; I know that it had to cost you something for all of us to walk out of there together.”
Snape pulled the cork from the bottle neck and topped Remus up, filling his own glass in the process. He suddenly found that he didn’t want to tell Lupin at all, though he knew that he had to. This still involved him and his son, no matter how badly he wanted to keep them out of it all. He postponed his answer, taking another long slug of his drink.
“Severus?” Remus persisted.
Snape sighed, a tired and threadbare sound.
“Teddy and I will both live, isn’t that enough for now?” he asked, knowing he sounded churlish.
“No,” Remus said mildly, “it isn’t. You’ve been distant since we left the Ministry, and I saw you watching Teddy today, you looked like… like you were trying to burn him into your memory or something. Please tell me what’s going on, Severus.”
Snape could have groaned. There it was, Remus asking him for something. How was it that he was willing to do this so easily, but he could hardly bring himself to discuss it? Best just jump in, preamble be damned.
“There were two options given to me when I met with the Healer and his representation,” Severus started. “Well, three really, if you counted going to court an option, which I didn’t. I chose the one I thought would do the least damage, permanently.” That was a very diplomatic way of phrasing it. Too bad it likely wouldn’t satisfy Remus.
“What does that mean?” Lupin asked with trepidation.
“You know that before I defected to Albus, that I was a real Death Eater, right?” Severus countered. “I did terrible, unconscionable things; developed curses and potions that killed, tortured and maimed people. I used those potions and curses to do those things to people myself; I taught them to others to use as they would. No one made me do those things; no one held a wand to my temple.” Not at first, anyway.
“I’m aware of that,” Remus said, looking intently at Severus’ face.
“Good,” Snape said, though for some reason he felt a twinge in his chest. “Well, even after I took up spying for Albus, really spying for him, not the load of fairy tales and candle ends I was giving to Riddle, I had to continue those behaviors. It was the only way to keep rank, to not be suspected or found out. My heinous actions didn’t stop; I was just doing them for a different reason – The Greater Good. That was what Albus kept telling me, anyway.”
“What does this have to do with the outcome of your meeting today?” Remus asked, confusion etched on his face. He felt the hot embers of his anger at how Albus had treated Severus flare to flame all over again.
“Quite a lot, shockingly. During that time, I orchestrated and was involved in a great many raids upon people who were deemed to be ‘symbols against our cause’. Innocents who weren’t as blindly prejudiced as we were, was what that really meant. A lot of people were hurt, raped, killed and tortured in those raids - too many to count, too many to remember.” Even now he could feel his hands becoming clammy, his guts churning with the awful knowledge of what he’d witnessed and done. “I found out today that Edmond Lanning, the late brother of the bastard who tried to put his hands on your son, and his entire family was killed in such a raid. And I was one of the Death Eaters responsible for it.”
“I’m sorry that you had to do that, Severus, and I gathered as much from the conversation you and your solicitor had,” Remus said, sounding sincere. “Maybe I’m just a thick headed Gryffindor… but I don’t see what that has to do with anything.”
“What Darien was implying today was that if he could find that out, Lanning could too. I’m positive they did, given the way our meeting went. As I said, I was only given two options.”
“What were they?” All of this beating around the bush didn’t bode well in Remus’ mind; Severus was usually more straightforward than this.
“I could either consent to transfer ownership of Teddy over to Quinton Lanning for a time, or I could consent to dismiss my own freedom and go in his place.”
Remus felt like the world had frozen. Fear rose up and threatened to immobilize him in its anxieties… and then it was gone. Severus would never allow that man to have such liberty over Teddy - he knew as well as Remus what would happen to him; what that man would do to his sweet little boy. That meant that Severus had…
“You didn’t,” Remus breathed.
“Of course I didn’t,” Severus snarled. “Do you have any idea what that sick-minded man would do to your child?”
“I knew you didn’t mean that,” Remus rebuked carefully. “You… you are giving yourself to him as a –? Even though he knows you’re responsible for the death of his family? Even though there were other choices?” He felt like all of the air had been sucked from the room; his head was spinning.
“There are always other choices, Remus, that does not make them the correct ones,” Severus told him. “Lanning can do nothing to me that has not already been done. After so long by Riddle’s side… I doubt this Healer can come up with anything to even touch the things I have underwent at The Dark Lord’s behest. I have tools to help me; I have experience, strength and endurance that Teddy does not yet have. I pray that he does not ever possess them, not in the way we’re talking about now.”
Remus didn’t need to know or see this Lanning character to get a clear picture of what kind of person he was, what he would do to his boy or to Snape if given the power. Revenge was a strong motive in even those who had a good sense of morality about them. It didn’t speak well of what this man would do to his master, this man who clearly had very few scruples on a normal day. Reading in-between the lines of what his master was saying only confirmed the character of this Healer.
His heart was expanding with something he couldn’t name. Hearing Severus speak like that made him shiver; probably because this was the clear manifestation of Severus’ love for Teddy – determined, selfless and unendingly loyal. Even now he was sitting there, calmly justifying what he had agreed to. There was no anger at Teddy for having gotten them into this situation, no difference in his treatment of the child. He looked down at his knees wondering if it would ever be possible to figure this man out.
When Remus didn’t say anything, Severus drained his glass and continued, “I want him to be happy; to be unencumbered by the kind of weight that would be put upon him by undergoing that. He is innocent and he must be protected at all costs – you know that even more than I do, being his father. You would do anything to keep him safe, I see that clearly and truly. Yet somehow, out of all people, I am the only one with the power to ensure that is what happens; so I will do it for you as much as I do it for myself.” He sounded pathetic even to his own ears, like he was trying to convince himself of something that had already been decided. He knocked back the contents of his glass and leant over to pour another.
Remus was quiet for a moment, waiting for him to continue. When it became apparent that Severus wasn’t going to, he burst out, “I don’t understand, Severus. How can any of this be legal? How is it possible for him to take ownership of you, a free man with unpolluted, human blood?”
“It is legal because I agreed to it. His ownership of me will only be for a term, under which I will divest myself of any of my rights as human in the eyes of the law; for all intents and purposes, I will belong completely to Lanning for the agreed upon time. After that time is up, I regain my standing as a free person. It is not permanent.”
“How long?” Remus’ voice broke. He understood better than most what Severus was undertaking.
“Half of a cycle.”
“Half a day?” Remus’ face twisted as he tried to figure out what else that could mean.
Severus shook his head. “Half of a lunar cycle – fifteen days rounded up, in other words. Not that I have to tell you how long a lunar cycle is,” Snape gave a huff of laughter at himself and took another pull from his glass.
Remus drained the rest of his glass in one go, holding out the empty vessel for a refill.
“Is that how long he wanted Teddy for?” Remus asked, not sure why he was doing so. Just thinking about what a man with that kind of inclination would have time to do to his son in fifteen days made him shudder in horror. Guilt at how grateful he was that his son would be spared filled him. Lanning would surely do the same to Severus. His stomach twisted itself into knots.
Again Severus shook his head. “He wanted him for a week. I assume that I was only offered a longer term because I’m far too old to suit his preferences and he wanted to make up for that somehow or because he wanted more time with me, knowing what I likely did to his family.” He grimaced, neither of those options really sounded preferable to the other.
“There must be some restrictions on what he can do – you’ll… have that status,” he couldn’t think the word slave, not in conjunction with Severus, “for a couple of weeks - after that you’ll be free again, have all of your rights returned.”
“No; nothing permanent will be done, not legally at any rate. Anything he wants to remove will have to be able to be reattached; no death; no lingering brain damage or impairment to speech or function – so I suppose I will have some rights. More than you or your son have, at any rate,” Severus said that last part resentfully.
“That was all in the agreement you signed?”
“Yes; that fairly well summed it up, actually.”
“Was there more?” Remus was almost afraid to ask.
Severus shrugged. “I’m not sure how relevant this is,” he lied, “but they requested permission to have access to my Ministry file, all of it. Or at least the bits that the Ministry deems fit to offer to someone with such limited clearance, which I’m led to believe is less than half of it, thank the gods.”
“Why?” Remus asked the question that had been burning in the back of his mind for the entire conversation. His voice was small even to his own ears.
“Any number of reasons. Because he wanted to be sure that I was there, that I helped kill his brother and family. Because he wants to see what could ruffle my feathers, to get under my skin with minimal effort. Because-”
“No,” Remus interrupted. “Why would you do this, I mean really?”
Severus drained his glass again. “I’ve already told you,” he said with a little ire, pulling the cork from the Scotch. “There is no one else who can do it, and there are no other options that would guarantee his safety. I won’t just sit by and allow Teddy to be killed or abused in such a fashion just because it is the path of least resistance. Merlin, what kind of man do you take me for?” Perhaps the kind that outnumbers and kills entire families in the dead of night, or the kind that imprisons and experiments on little children, or the kind that is able to murder their only friend while looking right into his eyes, or…
“An extraordinary one,” Remus answered honestly.
Snape gave a ‘harrumph’ of disbelief, bringing his glass to his lips again. “More like one that just does what has to be done. I have done a lot of horrible things in my life, but I don’t think I could live with letting either of those things happen to Teddy. I really do love him, Remus. And you…” Severus trailed off, drinking more Scotch in contemplation of how every time he said those words admitting his feelings for the boy out loud, they got just a little easier to say.
“Me?” Lupin asked, surprised to hear that in this conversation.
“Yes you! How could I come to you and tell you that it was too hard to save your son? That it might hurt a bit too much? That there was something, anything I could have done to protect him and I had simply chosen not to? How would I be able to look into your eyes and say those words? It would have made all of this,” Snape waved his glass around as if to indicate ‘everything’, “us, here, together, a complete lie. I couldn’t live with that either.” He had to watch his tongue or how much he was drinking a little more carefully, he was coming close to saying things he didn’t know if either of them were ready to hear.
Remus sipped his drink, thinking over what Snape had been saying about this from the start, reading in between the lines as he went. He must be interpreting something incorrectly, because it almost sounded as if Severus was saying that he had done this for him in some backhanded, convoluted fashion. He decided that it didn’t matter why Snape was doing this, only that he was and that it was unbelievable. He wished more than anything for the strength to stand up and walk over to his master, to kneel at his feet and thank him over and over. Even though he didn’t think that would go over very well, for a number of reasons; mainly that the other man would never allow it.
“I don’t know how to thank you,” he said instead. The words were so far from encompassing what he meant by them that he shook his head slightly.
Snape made a face. “I don’t expect your gratitude,” he spat out the word like a bad taste.
“Well you have it, nonetheless,” Remus said, reaching across the small table that separated them and laying his hand on Snape’s forearm.
Snape nodded stiffly once. Why was it that he’d wanted thanks and recognition for almost his entire life, yet whenever he was actually faced with it, he denied and rebuked it with such viciousness? He drained his glass, looking down at Remus’ hand on his arm while the familiar burn of the liquor subsided. Under the intensity of his stare, the appendage retreated. Pity, he hadn’t intended that.
All the same, he reached for the Scotch, pouring himself a double and holding the open bottle out for Remus in offering. Lupin extended his glass and allowed another measure to be poured. Snape re-corked it and set it at the back of the table. After this, he was cutting himself off.
They sat quietly for a while, enjoying the fire and the smoky taste of the alcohol. That’s what Snape did anyway. By the look of it, Remus just sat there and fretted.
“Tomorrow, among other things, we will practice with your cane for a while,” Severus said after a measure.
“If you think that’s the best use of our time,” Remus said. Personally, he couldn’t believe Severus would even be thinking about that at this exact moment.
“It is one of them. I will also want to look at the results of those tests and try to say for certain what happened to Teddy at the full moon.”
“You’ll tell me what you find?” Remus asked, draining his glass.
“Of course. If you wish to be present while I go over the results, you’re welcomed to – provided you’re quiet enough for me to concentrate.”
“I’ll do my best,” Remus said wryly, knocking back the last of his alcohol.
Severus drank the rest of his glass as well. “Do you think we should retire?” he asked, though he was almost positive he wouldn’t be able to sleep, not with all of this bouncing about in his mind.
“I wouldn’t be against it,” Remus agreed, stretching his arms and back by lifting his hands high over his head and bending his spine slightly until he heard several cracks from various joints.
Severus set his cup aside and stood, levitating Lupin’s chair nearer to the bed. He got him into fresh sleepwear and helped him walk the few steps to the bed. If nothing else, it would stretch the muscles in his leg just a little. More would come tomorrow. It was too late to have Remus completely mobile by the time he himself was… indisposed; but any progress they could make would be beneficial.
He went and collected fresh nightclothes for himself as well, stripping and changing efficiently. He tried to ignore the weight of Remus’ eyes on him as he did, finishing as quickly as possible and sliding into the covers alongside the lycanthrope.
He made short work of getting comfortable, sighing against the anxiety bubbling in his chest. He’d endured far worse than anything this cretin of a Healer could possibly be able to conceive of inflicting on him, yet somehow the thought of actually submitting to him was daunting. He really was getting soft. Perhaps this would be the best thing for him, a reminder of what the word ‘penance’ actually meant, remembering that if he agonized for the rest of his days and an eternity afterwards, he could not make up for even a fraction of the suffering he had caused in his life. This would be another layer to his thick hide, it would take up where The Dark Lord left off, flaying his flesh to try and save the threadbare remnants of his spirit. Yet somehow, despite all of that, he felt strangely hollow.
Remus crept up behind Severus, unsure how he would be received. First, he turned on his side and wriggled as close to his master as he was able without actually spooning against him. When nothing untoward happened, he eased closer still, his legs touching first, and then tangling with Severus’, his arm drawing the other man’s lean back closer to his own chest.
Once he was wrapped as closely around the other man as he could without being ridiculous, he stilled. Severus still hadn’t given any sign that he noticed what was going on, allowing Remus to insinuate himself around his body without resistance or outward recognition. Lupin just held on, his exhales against Severus’ nape echoing the warmth of his own breath back to him.
Remus stayed like that, allowing things he’d been reluctant to look at to float to his mind. How Severus had made him feel, actually feel, through and after their bonding. The way he was with Teddy, even before this debacle with WIBNA. How he always considered Remus’ own wishes. How his face and body tensed during an orgasm that he was so intent on sharing with Remus, equally and without ulterior motive. He could go on, almost forever it felt. His heart swelled now, for a completely different reason than it had earlier. All of this without even adding what he was going to do for Teddy into the mix.
His hand began to stroke through Severus’ long locks again, much as he had done earlier in the day. Though, now, in the position they were currently in, the intimacy of the act was truly felt, by Remus at least. Again, Severus didn’t respond to his ministrations. It didn’t matter. He continued, long past the time he thought he felt Snape go limp in slumber. His lips grazed his neck, the place he cleared the hair away behind his ear. He knew he was taking liberties no slave should ever take with their master; still he couldn’t bring himself to stop.
He breathed in the heady scent that was Snape and tried to lull himself into a similar state of sleep. His hand was going numb between their bodies, so he maneuvered it under Snape’s pillow. It was as if a last barrier was removed from them as his chest pressed up against the other man’s back.
As he felt himself drifting off in spite of a sudden urge to try and keep his eyes open, to make this casual closeness last a while longer, he breathed the truth of his feelings against his master’s neck and allowed himself to go.
Severus lay awake for a while before he felt Remus sidle up behind him. He stayed in the trance-like state between awareness and slumber for a long time while Remus paid tender attention to his body, before he finally felt himself starting to tip over into sleep. After an even longer time, just as he was really dozing, at that point where awareness and reality blurred, words were whispered so quietly in Remus’ voice against his neck that he questioned having heard them at all.
“I think I love you, Severus Snape.”
Well, at least his dreams were sweet.

It was still dark out when Severus’ eyes opened, something catching him unaware as he leapt out of sleep. Looking around, he saw nothing that would have caused such a reaction from him - the room itself was silent and still. He listened further, hearing no wards going off and no signs that Teddy was awake or moving around. He reclined back against his pillow, turning his head to look at Remus.
Lupin was sleeping, but he wouldn’t have said soundly. The other man seemed restless, his face making unsolicited expressions, his shoulders shifting like he was trying to get comfortable on a bed of gravel. He didn’t appear too distressed, so Snape left him be.
He decided to get up, making a quick trip to the loo to relieve himself and get a drink of cool water from the tap. On the way back to his room, he peered in at Teddy, who appeared to be sleeping like a stone. Still, he crept closer to the bed and spent a moment watching his small chest rise and fall in the easy timbre of sleep.
Severus sighed as he felt the unease that had been so strong earlier finally melt away; he had done the right thing. He’d like to think that Albus would be proud of him, though if he was completely honest with himself, the barmy old man hadn’t played a part in his decision to sign himself over to Lanning. This, he did for Teddy and for Remus and for himself.
He snuck from the room as silently as he had come into it, positioning the door so that it would stay open. He was walking down the hall, when he heard what sounded like a scuffle coming from his and Remus’ bedroom.
Snape hurried the few steps into the room while cursing his soft headedness for not bringing his wand with him. He was both relieved and disturbed to find that all he’d been hearing was Remus moaning sorrowfully in sleep, thrashing about with the blankets tangled completely around him.
He went to the bed and sat with his knees bent on the mattress, pulling himself close enough to touch Remus.
Lupin seemed to sense that someone was near, his arms trying to break free of their quilted confines. His face was twisted, breathing erratic, sweat beading across his brow. Whatever scenario his mind was recalling or creating, it must have been awful to distress him so thoroughly in such a short time.
He reached across Remus’ torso, partially to keep him from hurting either of them if he got his arms free as well as to grasp his shoulder and shake him gently.
At the first hint of pressure on his shoulder, Remus gasped and his head raised itself from his pillow. He looked around with unseeing eyes before his gaze rested on Severus.
Snape couldn’t find a word to adequately describe the look on Remus’ face as he set his eyes upon him, but needless to say it was an expression that had never, in his entire life, been turned on him even for a moment. It was a look of tenderness and desire, relief and revelation; it was the look a person would bestow upon someone they loved. Or so he imagined; whatever it was, it was an emotion that surpassed his two dimensional capabilities. All the same he felt his heart flutter, awe and disbelief vying for sovereignty in his mind – surely such an expression couldn’t be for him.
Yet somehow, it must have been. Remus, now conscious, swiftly untangled himself from the blankets and sat up. He leant forward, touching his lips to Severus’, his hand coming up to curl around the back of his neck, pulling the raven haired man more completely against him.
Severus, taken by surprise, reciprocated on instinct alone, his forearm holding Remus around his back, the other rising to cup his cheek. He was caught up for a moment in the wonderful sensation of Remus wanting him like this, briefly forgetting everything else.
Remus’ fervor tapered off with time, leaving him sitting up, his arms around Snape as his head resting on his shoulder. He had no idea what had possessed him to do that. He’d been locked in a dream; he’d even known it was a dream, but he hadn’t been able to rouse himself.
“Would you like to talk about it?” Severus silken voice awkwardly came through the dimness.
Remus shook his head. There was nothing to say; he couldn’t even really recall what he’d been dreaming about. There had been pain and darkness and a sense of dread at knowing that he wasn’t the one enduring it, and that he could stop it if only he could… There were no words to explain it, he was just glad that, for the moment, it was over.
“Come on then,” Snape said gruffly.
He loosened Lupin’s grip on him, straightening the blankets and sliding into bed beside the other man, urging him to do the same with the light pressure of his hands. When Remus was horizontal again, Snape turned towards him, setting his open hand on his stomach.
“I would never have asked you to do this,” Remus said at length, as if that explained everything.
“I know,” Snape replied, catching on to his meaning instantly. “It is going to be alright, in the end.” He had no idea if that was true or not, he must be getting better at this whole encouragement thing.
“How is it that you’re the one trying to reassure me? How can you be so composed about this whole thing?”
“Would you rather I raged with resentment? It would change nothing and only make it more difficult for everyone in the end. I need a calm mind if I am to strengthen my Occlumency shields with any real permanence or success.”
“You think he is going to try and assault your mind?” Remus asked.
“Likely not – it is an art few these days practice. I have found over the years that if used correctly, Occlumency can assist with a great many things – from protecting your mind from invasion to controlling your emotions to helping distance yourself from things like pain. It is a skill that is multifaceted in its rewards.”
Remus had a sinking feeling in his stomach. “Did you use it that way during the war?”
“Of course; I doubt I would have survived if I hadn’t. It has protected me before and it will do so again. I will spend some of my time over the next couple of days meditating, if I can find the time. It will help raise and reinforce my shields; they have lost some of their fortitude in these years of peace.”
Remus thought of Severus in those years, strengthening his mind and body’s endurance through magic, yet still falling into the trap of an addictive potion that relieved pain. If any of the Order had known, really known, what he was enduring and facing day after day, surely they would have welcomed him more, had one kind word to say. Surely. He moved his hand so that it covered Severus’, tucking his fingers under the other man’s palm.
“Don’t lose sleep over this,” Severus told him.
All Remus heard was, ‘Don’t lose sleep over me’. He squeezed Snape’s hand.
“Everyone gets what they want,” his master continued.
“Except you,” Remus countered.
“I get exactly what I want,” Severus told him resolutely, “I’ve just got to work for it, like everyone has to work for anything they want in life.”
“Don’t try and make this sound like nothing, Severus. There are parents out there that wouldn’t even do this for their own children, let alone a slave child they hadn’t known two months ago.”
“I am aware of that; my own father would have looked at this as a golden opportunity to be rid of me mess free. I am not my father, nor do I wish to be.”
“No,” Remus agreed. “I am only starting to really know you, but that much is obvious. The more I discover about you, the gladder my heart is that my son and I came to you. I get the distinct impression that I wasted something in my life by not trying to get to know you sooner.”
Snape rolled his eyes and was about to say something about sappy, arse-kissing comments, but Remus leaned over and silenced him with another kiss. This one only lasted a moment; a brief ghosting of the lycanthrope’s lips over his, but it was enough to kill the sarcastic rebuke that had been about to spring forth.
“We should sleep,” Severus said instead.
Remus nodded and made himself comfortable. Of course Snape would say something like that the moment he said something positive about him.
He would have liked to have made love to Severus right at that moment, but he knew the other man would think he was trying to thank him with pleasure. Maybe in some way, he would have been. His primary goal, however, would have been to draw this unbelievable person as close to himself as he could, to wrap himself up in him, make him a part of himself somehow.
However, there would be no way of convincing Severus of that without actually telling him how he felt. It was ridiculous, he had no fear about Snape having power over his life or Teddy’s, but for some reason the thought of looking him in the eye and telling him that he loved him was so incredibly daunting.
Snape closed his eyes. He half wanted to start Occluding right now to block out the feelings of delight that were occurring at Remus’ words and his forward actions. He allowed them to flow through him uninhibited, ignoring the guilt that tried to spring forth while he did.

The sun was shining merrily by the time Remus woke up again. He looked around to find Snape already dressed.
He was standing by the open window, reading a piece of parchment and absently stroking the feathers of his rather menacing owl. The flat face of the bird may have been comical on another type of animal, but with the sharp beak and frighteningly sinister eyes, he gave Remus the shivers. He wondered how large he would be with his wings totally spread. Severus offered the bird a treat and opened the window more widely; the large bird tucked out of it and was gone.
“Letter from your secret admirer?” Remus joked, sitting up and indicating the paper Snape was holding.
“Something like that,” Severus muttered bitterly. “I’d rather not discuss it without a cup of coffee in my hands.”
Remus grinned, wondering exactly Snape would like to talk about before his cuppa.
Severus folded the parchment and set it on the table.
“Today, we will start with the cane,” Snape told him, Summoning the object. It flew into his hand and he brought it over to Remus along with a clean change of clothes. When Remus had dressed and was sitting on the side of the bed, Snape went over to the table and picked up the thin wooden box, bringing it back over to him.
“I had wanted to get this for you sooner, but with everything that has been going on I had thought it best to wait. I hope you won’t think that remiss of me. I believe that you will need it now, however, so I arranged its delivery.”
Severus simply handed the box over to Remus.
Lupin couldn’t possibly think what could be in the box. He felt a sense of apprehension as he undid the clasp and opened the lid. He sat staring at the contents in wonder for what felt like forever before he had enough courage to reach out and remove it.
He didn’t know whether to laugh or cry; he was doing something that he believed he would never again do in his life. He was holding his wand. Not just any wand, not a suitable replacement, but his wand.
“Severus,” he exhaled, “how?”
“With Nymphadora, you and Teddy all gone, there was nowhere for your estate to go but to Andromeda. When she passed, everything went to her only remaining sister.”
“Narcissa?” Remus asked, surprised. Surely that icy bitch would have had the whole thing burned.
“Yes. I contacted the Malfoys last night; I didn’t expect them to be this prompt in answer, however. Remus,” he said gently, “I don’t know what is all left. Many of your possessions are likely lost or have been sold.”
“I don’t care about things,” Remus told him, unable to take his eyes off of his wand. He felt like the final part of him had been returned. While he was wearing that awful collar, he had daily felt the absence of his magic, and it had not gotten better over time. When Severus had taken it off and told him he was not to wear it any longer, he felt a part of himself come back to life. Now he felt… more complete than he could remember feeling in a very long time.
“This is too amazing to be true; I have no idea why you did this, but thank you!”
“Not even an inkling?” Snape asked, but his tone was teasing instead of dangerous.
Remus blushed.
“I have always intended for you to have it once you were recovered,” Severus explained more seriously.
“Do you think I can still use it?” Remus asked. It had always been his silent fear, that after the collar was removed he wouldn’t be able to wield his magic any longer.
“I think you should try,” Severus said, sitting on the bed beside him. “Something simple, a ‘lumos’ perhaps?”
Remus took a deep breath and said the incantation. Nothing happened. He looked to Snape, panicked, dread welling up inside of him.
“Stay calm,” Severus instructed. “Remember when the collar was removed? Do you recall that feeling, of your magic resurfacing?”
Remus nodded, unable to speak. He closed his eyes.
“Find that feeling within yourself and take hold of it. Imagine it filling you like you are a basin that has been left out in the rain. Imagine that basin is already overflowing and that you are going to pour some out; it only makes room for more, don’t you see? You will never be empty of magic, Remus, not if that sensation of its resurgence was real.”
Remus tried to do what he was told, tried to find the spring of his magic within himself. He took a deep breath and tried again. He was too afraid to open his eyes. He just held his wand out, pretending that he was illuminating the room. He felt a hand on his arm and opened his eyes reluctantly.
His wand was lit. It was barely more than a small glow, but it was producing light. He turned to Snape and smiled.
Severus couldn’t help but return the expression, his eyes darting between Remus’ illuminated face and his wand, trying to decide which was more brilliant. He didn’t allow himself to linger though, taking the cane in hand and moving it in front of Remus.
“Impressive; many people need to practice for much longer before they can do that,” Severus noted. “Now we can tune this cane to you properly.”
“What do I do?” Remus asked, almost trembling with excitement at the thrill of casting his first spell in so very long.
“Place your hand on the handle and say ‘mutare pondus’ while making this motion with your wand,” Severus told him, demonstrating with his own wand in hand.
Remus tried the movement out for size twice before placing his hand on the cane. He said the spell and did the motions. He felt a tingle under his palm, but other than that nothing.
“What now?”
Snape stood. “Now you stand up and adjust it to take the amount of weight you need from you.” He positioned his hand under Remus elbow and helped him to stand.
“How do I do that?”
“Say the spell again and move your wand either up or down to control how much weight you’re going to carry,” Severus said, still helping him stand.
Remus said the spell again and adjusted his weight down. Still feeling shaky, he did it again, and again.
“Do you think you can stand on your own now?” Severus asked.
“I think so,” Remus said hesitantly. It was hard to tall with Snape still supporting him. “I’ll try, just don’t go too far,” he laughed.
Snape removed his hands. Remus wobbled, but stayed standing.
“Have you given the can enough weight that you can walk on your own?” Snape asked, trying to contain his glee that this was working.
Remus took a step forward. He teetered and Snape held out his hand to support him, but didn’t provide any further help than that. He took another step, and then another. He just kept focusing on his balance, putting one foot in front of the other. He turned around to discover that he had walked right past his chair and that Snape was still leaning on the headrest instead of guarding him from tumbling.
He walked back over to his chair, stopping in front of Severus.
“I don’t know how to thank you for any of this,” Remus said, his eyes moist. It had been an unbelievable day already and he hadn’t even gone downstairs yet.
“I think most people just say ‘thank you’, but don’t I count myself as a master of social niceties,” Severus said sarcastically. He hated that Remus felt obligated to do or say something to make them even for this. “Really, don’t mention it,” he said more sincerely. “Your magic, your mobility – I think those are fairly basic things for a wizard – of course you should have them.”
Remus smiled and stepped forward.
Severus’ arms went around his waist, propelling them closer together, cane still held tightly. Remus missed not a second before he was kissing him, wrapping his free arm around his neck, sucking his bottom lip into his mouth.
There was a knock on the partially opened door.
“Are you coming to breakfast? Fred wants to know,” Teddy’s voice was heard. The door was pushed open.
The two men stared at Teddy with intense discomfort, caught here, thankfully dressed, but in one another’s arms, their bodies as close as they could be together. Remus smiled at his boy.

“Morning Teddy,” he said shakily.
Teddy took a second for the shock to wear off, and then grinned. “I’ll tell him you’ll be down in a couple of minutes,” the boy said, before turning and walking from the room. They heard him giggling as he went down the hall.
“I guess we do look rather silly,” Remus smiled ruefully.
“Speak for yourself,” Snape groused, kissing him again. “I suppose we really should get going. I’m expecting some company today and I’m not sure what time they’ll arrive. Would you like to walk, or should we use the chair?”
“I’ll walk, thank you,” Remus said. “Though I may need some help with the stairs.”
“I’d imagine so,” Snape said wryly. He levitated Remus’ empty armchair and made the motion for Lupin to go ahead of him.
He did remarkably well for his first time walking in Merlin knew how long. When they reached the stairs, he sat in the chair and Snape levitated him down. Remus made some joke about Muggle lifts and then they were at the bottom. He knew it wasn’t far and so he stood and plodded forward, leaning heavily on the cane as he went. He wanted to move around as much as he could; he could only get stronger from here.
“Dad!” Teddy exclaimed as he crossed the threshold into the kitchen, “You’re walking!”
“So I am,” Remus concurred happily. He walked slowly up to the kitchen table, realizing that there were only two chairs there and that Teddy was already sitting in one of them.
Severus came up behind him, armchair in tow. He set it on the floor and pushed it closer to Remus so that he could sit down. He went and poured himself a cup of coffee, holding up his mug in silent offer to Remus.
“Yes please,” Remus said in answer.
Snape poured and brought him a cup, setting his own on the table and going to retrieve the cream and sugar, placing that on the table by Remus.
“Does this mean you’re better now?” Teddy asked his father excitedly.
“Better than I was a few weeks ago, that’s for sure,” Remus told him. “It feels wonderful to be able to stand again.” Maybe he would be able to do more for his son now that he was mobile; the thought was heartening.
They made it through breakfast with only one interruption. An owl delivered another piece of mail to Snape. He read the parchment, folded it and put it in his pocket.
“Lanning has someone coming by later today to collect information from me,” he said to the table.
“What? What kind of information?” Remus frowned.
“They don’t specify, so likely nothing I’d have to prepare ahead of time, or else something they don’t want me to prepare for at all,” he shrugged as if he were not concerned in the least. “They should be stopping by sometime after lunch.”
Remus was silent, the elation he’d been feeling about his magic and the regained ability to walk faded instantly. Everything was coming together for him just as it was falling apart for Severus. Guilt wrapped its rigid arms around him.
“Who is coming?” Teddy asked apprehensively, looking between the two adults and squeezing his dragon tightly.
“Nobody you need to worry about,” Severus said with a quirk of his lips to assure the child. “I believe Fred has gone to town for something; how about you practice your letters for a while and when he gets back the two of you can go down to the pond for a while?”
“Okay!” Teddy said, face brightening. “I’ll go start now!” He hopped off of his chair, pausing by the door. “Do you think it would be okay if I brought back a couple of frogs to show dad?”
Remus chuckled, about to assure his son he’d seen enough frogs in his life. He wanted to see what Snape would say, however, so he remained silent aside from his laughter.
“I don’t see that being a problem; Fred will find you something to store them safely in. If you find any with a yellow stripe down their back, do try and catch those for me, would you?”
“Why do you want those ones? Is there something special about them?” Teddy asked.
Snape cleared his throat. “There is something special about them; their eyes and hearts are used as ingredients in many common potion bases.”
“Really? Cool! How many do you want?” Teddy asked.
“As many as you can catch,” Severus replied, this time with a genuine smile at the boy’s enthusiasm. He didn’t know how many the boy would be able to find in all reality, but it would give him something to do that would keep him out of the house and away from whatever turmoil the day would surely bring.
“Will you show me how to do it?”
“What?” Snape asked, the art of frog catching had escaped him for many decades, though he’d been fairly adept at it as a child.
“Collect their parts, of course! I wonder what’s inside of them,” Teddy wondered aloud, almost to himself.
“We’ll see,” Snape said wryly. “It requires skill and a strong stomach. We can talk about it later.”
“Okay,” Teddy agreed, obviously glad that he hadn’t gotten an all-out ‘no’. “Will you let me know when Fred gets back?”
“He’ll come get you as soon as he’s finished what he’s doing,” Snape assured.
“Sounds great, sir,” Teddy chimed before heading from the room. He could be heard clumping his way up the stairs to his room.
As soon as he was around the corner, Remus started laughing for real.
“What is so funny?” Snape inquired.
“The two of you,” Remus answered, “I can hardly believe it. Are you going to show him?”
“I might, though he may change his mind when he has a bucket full of happily croaking frogs in front of him and I hand him a knife.”
“Don’t count on it,” Remus warned him. “He really does want to learn, particularly from you, I think.”
Snape made a sound of dismissal. “He is quite inquisitive,” he allowed. “I’d like to go analyze the results of those tests now. The offer still stands – would you like to come?”
“Please,” Remus said.
“Try Summoning your book,” Snape told him. “It will give you something to do while I try and puzzle through this.”
“I could barely light a full ‘lumos’, I doubt I’ll be able to bring that brick of a book all the way down here,” Remus protested. Funny how a short while ago it wouldn’t have occurred to him to question this man and he now voiced his opinion almost without a thought almost every time.
“Maybe not, but I think you should use every opportunity to practice. Your magic isn’t diminished, just weakened from disuse, and just like with a muscle you will have to strengthen it with time and practice.”
Remus nodded and retrieved his wand from his pocket, still amazed that it was in his possession again. He held it out and cast the spell. A loud thump was heard upstairs.
“I think I pulled it off of the table at least,” Remus said, trying to fight off embarrassment.
“I believe you did,” Snape said. He removed his own wand from where it was holstered, casting the spell and waiting until the book flew into it. “You’d best stay in the chair for the trip to the lab, those steps can be treacherous to even the most sure of foot.” They had supposedly killed his mother, at least, though he knew that to be a lie. He’d watched his father’s face closely when he spoke of that night and was enough of a Slytherin to recognize the poorly assembled fabrication for what it was.
Snape handed him the book and levitated his chair down the rickety stairs to the basement lab. He was placed by the side of the table where the two sets of instruments were set up on. The book remained closed on his lap as he watched Severus go to work without further discussion. He liked watching his master work; the man totally became what he was doing, moving with focus and grace.
Severus felt Remus’ eyes on him and pointedly ignored him, going over the tedious process of checking the equipment and temperatures. Everything appeared benign, so he spelled the quill hovering over the parchment inert and picked up the paper. He read it, wondering where he’d seen the main formula written there before. Something about it tickled something in his memory, if only he could have a moment to think, he could place it.
He rushed over to the other workbench and collected the parchments from the other two rounds of tests, reading them over, slowly sinking into a chair as he did. Absentmindedly, he moved Remus’ chair over to where we was sitting, but didn’t look up from what he was reading. When he did, it was to start scribbling on a new piece of parchment – he was onto something, he knew it.
Remus knew better than to speak. He was glad that Snape thought of him for long enough to move him closer, as if he had anything to do with the discovery of what had happened to his son. He doubted his ability to even comprehend ninety per cent of the things scrawled on the parchments in front of Severus. He waited patiently, confident that when Snape knew something concrete, he would soon after.
Severus had captured almost everything on paper; the things he knew, those he’d inferred and the ones he was purely speculating on. He knew he was missing something, and even more infuriatingly, that it was right here in front of him, he just wasn’t seeing it.
Quite a bit of information had been conveyed in the processing of the black tar. It had many markers of lycanthropy, even more than the blood, so many in fact that he was still reeling at it. It also contained other markers, ones that were more generalized and yet more difficult to interpret. The answer was there, on that piece of parchment and if only he wasn’t so daft he could see it…
A knock came from the door at the top of the stairs.
“Hello?” A voice called down uncertainly; a voice that wasn’t Teddy’s.
“Potter, you do have a knack for showing up at the most inopportune times,” Severus called up. Fred wasn’t back yet and he’d been so focused that he’d ignored the soft magical chiming in his head that indicated someone who had access to the wards was crossing them.
“I came as soon as I could,” Harry said, coming down the stairs now that he knew someone was down there. “What in the hell were you thinking?” he asked angrily. “Do you know anything at all about Quinton Lanning?”
“I see you’ve been filled in by someone,” Snape said. He’d sent Potter a letter the night before telling him that he needed to speak with him about a matter of some urgency. That had been all he’d written, still too paranoid to say much by owl post on any matter of any importance. They were magical creatures, certainly, but were sometimes fickle and often tempted by treats or easily ensnared by nets or magic.
“Yeah, along with most of Wizarding Britain!” Harry exclaimed, pulling a copy of the Prophet out of his robe pocket. He unrolled it and threw it down on the table in front of Snape.
“Infamous Double Agent Severus Snape Signs Freedom Away to Save Life of Werewolf Pup” was emblazoned on the front page in bold text.
“Bugger,” Remus cursed, reading the title.
Snape just smiled crookedly.
“It’s all over the Ministry, everyone’s talking about it – is it true?” Harry asked, raking a hand through his hair.
“I haven’t read it myself, but-” Severus started.
“Give it to me in your own words then!” Harry interrupted.
“Teddy defended himself against a Healer and they wanted to kill him because of it. Luckily they had me sign an old form that made me liable for anything he did during his exam – the new paperwork would have had him killed without any further possible protest. I brought in my solicitor and we worked out a deal with the Healer, who, due to the form I’d signed, was well within his rights to ask what he did of me.”
“Merlin, the one time The Prophet gets it right,” Harry grumbled to himself. “Where’s Teddy now?” He asked, momentarily startled.
“Upstairs practicing his letters,” Snape told him.
“You have a plan, right? To get out of this? My team has been investigating Lanning for a while now, the ones trusted to gather information on WIBNA, that is. The results are… troubling, at best.”
“I do have a plan,” Severus said, “but I hardly think that it will get me out of this obligation.”
“Well then what the hell good is it? He’s a Healer damn it, if he wants to tear you to pieces, he’ll know exactly how to do it to skirt the rules that are there to make sure you’re whole again soon after regaining your freedom. He isn’t exactly the most ethically sound person I’ve ever surveyed.”
“You almost sound like you’re concerned for me, Potter,” Snape said mockingly.
“Of course I am, you arse!” Harry spluttered.
“What’s your plan, Severus?” Remus asked, introducing himself into the conversation.
“It’s already been started, now all I have to do is play into it.”
“What do you mean?” Lupin pressed, trying to ignore the awful things Harry was saying about Lanning.
Snape’s face went slack for a moment before his eyebrows rose dramatically. “Distillate of Dark Creature!” he said triumphantly.
“What?” Remus and Harry voiced at once.
“Excuse me,” Severus said as if that would answer all of their questions. He stood and rushed up the stairs throwing a, “Don’t touch anything, Potter,” over his shoulder as he went.
He was only gone for a moment. As he returned down the stairs, the basement was eerily quiet; whatever conversation Potter and Remus had been having was obviously cut short by his return. There was a small but thick tome in his hands, and it appeared more than ancient.
“What is that?” Remus asked in wonder. He loved books, and that one had clearly been handmade and bound long before their great grandfathers had been infants.
“A treatise on Dark Magic, focusing specifically on Dark Creatures,” Severus said. He’d cast a protective Charm on his hands before picking this book up, that would protect it from the oils in his skin. He carefully opened the cover and searched the index, apparently finding what he was looking for, as he opened the book to a particular page. He scanned a few paragraphs, nodding sagely.
“Do you know what it is now?” Remus was almost afraid to ask.
“The black tar? It is unquestionably distillate of Dark Creature.”
“What are you talking about?” Harry asked.
“There were some troubles with Teddy’s transformation,” Remus reminded him. “He lost most of his hair and seemed to exude this… tar like substance. Severus has just finished analyzing it.”
“And you’ve determined its distillate of Dark Creature? What does that mean? Teddy is a Dark Creature; you mean you captured his… spirit or something?” Harry’s face twisted as he tried to figure out what was being discussed.
“No, that is not what that means at all. This is a substance that is the epitome of Dark Magic, I’m certain that I could make a fortune on the black market selling the small vials of it I have here.”
“What makes it so Dark?” Remus asked, frightened that something like that could have come out of his little boy.
“That’s what makes no sense presently,” Snape said. “The usual methods of its collection are what make it so terribly nefarious. Traditionally, it requires a Dark Creature to be cut in very specific patterns and depths; all of the blood is gathered – if even one drop is spilled the ritual is worthless. This can take days. When the Creature is on the verge of death, they are hung upside down to symbolize their wrongness in the world, before being doused with a flammable potion of a very specific make and then started on fire from their feet downwards. The ashes are mixed with the previously collected blood and left to reduce until they form a tar.”
“That is the tar we’re talking about here?” Remus questioned. That all sounded very specific and very vile.
“It is,” Snape said. “It was once said to be the only way to free a person from that kind of Darkness – by burning everything else away. It has been discounted as effective for centuries; death frees us all, nothing more is needed.”
“What was that doing coming out of my godson?” Harry asked.
“I am not certain yet,” Severus said though a wild hunch was beginning to form in his mind. “Take Remus upstairs and put on a pot of tea,” he instructed. “I have one more sample to look over and I would like to do it in peace.”
“You can’t just send us away! This is importa-“
“Harry, please,” Remus said sharply. He smiled up at the young man, “I could use a spot of tea, and it sounds like Severus could use a moment to think without us badgering him. You know the Charm to move me upstairs, right?”
“Yes, I know the Charm,” Harry huffed.
“Let’s go then.”
“Alright, Remus,” Harry conceded, levitating the chair, albeit unsteadily. They headed up the stairs, Harry grumbling the entire way.
Snape wasted no time. He seized upon the other set of equipment, running through the checks at lightning speed. He pushed the quill aside and took up the parchment, taking it over to the workbench and sitting down to analyze it. As usual it took a few moments to decipher, but the message it displayed was clear – this new sample of blood contained no traces at all of lycanthropy. None. Not a single one. Teddy’s lycanthropy was gone.
He ran his hands over his face before comparing the results of the other three tests to this last one. Everything became clear. The hair was inconclusive because it was shedding itself due to the retreat of the lycanthropy in Teddy’s system; the black tar that had been on it rendered the test useless, concluding nothing out of pure contradiction. The blood was full of lycanthrope markers because it was getting rid of the bits that weren’t expelled in the tar. The tar was pure, unadulterated Darkness – distillate of Dark creature. It was the physical manifestation of the Curse, disease, whatever, and it had been expelled from Teddy’s body. That substance, he would have to dispose of safely – in the wrong hands it could cause much pain and damage.
He set the papers down, realizing that his hands were shaking, no his whole body was shaking. He had done it! Not that he really knew how, not yet at any rate; though it should be fairly straightforward to figure out from here. His best guess was that, having been born lycanthrope, Teddy’s blood contained something that latched onto the new ingredients he had added to the Wolfsbane and had allowed this remarkable reaction. Further research would be needed, but he was confident it could be done again, once he figured out what had made it a success the first time.
He sat a moment and absorbed the feeling of victory. Somehow, his potion had freed Teddy of a lifetime of agonizing transformations and a rapidly deteriorating body, no matter how well it appeared to heal in the short run. He had done that. He shook the sentiment off and stood, taking all of his papers and locking them in a heavily warded drawer. Pity the idiot that tried to get into there without the proper password and incantation. At this point in time, he needed to be more than careful who was aware of Teddy’s lack of condition – in the wrong hands the information could be more than fatal.
All that was left for the moment was to tell Remus.
A/N: I hope that wasn’t too predictable! Thank you for continuing to come back to read more, you guys are what makes this story possible. Any thoughts are more than welcomed; please let me know what you're thinking! More to come as soon as I am able.
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The Long Road