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Magic Behind the Kunai	By : Blackkitten23 Category: Harry Potter Crossovers > Slash - Male/Male Views: 34213 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 4
Disclaimer: I don’t own Harry Potter or Naruto and I don’t make a profit off my stories

Chapter List
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Last Time:
Naruto kissed Kakashi’s jaw line and grinned, “Perfect! Who wants to be pregnant?”
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“Just in time!” Jiraiya exclaimed excitedly after he leapt through the windows and found Hiruzen yawning at his desk. “I’m glad I caught you before your meeting! Guess what?!” He exclaimed excitedly and almost childishly.
“What?” The hokage asked pleased to have an excuse to not do the sleep inducing paperwork or rush to a meeting.
Jiraiya’s chest puffed up proudly, “I helped crack a very nasty ring of crooks. It’s actually a ring that has its hooks in Konoha. Check it out! These are all the people who were arrested.” He said as he handed over a yaoi book making Hiruzen twitch in annoyance. “Whoops! Wrong one!” Jiraiya chuckled and swapped the perverted yaoi book with some actual reports.
“Yes. Let’s see.” Hiruzen said dismissively and his fingers snatched the papers almost rudely. However, Jiraiya just seemed to smile even more at the obvious sign of irritation.
By some miracle Hiruzen didn’t notice the smirk and focused solely on the names listed in the report. The increase in stress threw the hokage off his game. He couldn’t even hide his reaction to the names. Of course he’d be freaked out when he saw his co-conspirators on the list, but normally he’d be better at not turning deadly white and looking like a panicked ghost. To add to it Hiruzen didn’t even realize he slipped up. Perhaps he didn’t think he could or that no one would question him after so long on top.
Arrogance aside, Hiruzen knew this was going to be damning if those people were interrogated. This was something that needed his immediate attention. He told Jiraiya he had to get to his meeting and hurried out.
Now that wasn’t a lie, but he fully intended to walk in and make up an urgent excuse so he could leave. If only this happened a few minutes earlier he’d have time to cancel it, but it didn’t.
Unfortunately, everyone was probably waiting for him. In fact, the entire council was already present. Just as the hokage opened his mouth to say something came up the last people he wanted to see there walked right in.
Hiruzen internally groaned as he saw the Fire Daimyo and the kazekage take their seats at the table. Now technically this isn’t a surprise. The Daimyo visits every month or two to adjust the budget. The kazekage does the same. It’s just never a welcome sight and now really wasn’t a good time. Certain people had to die now before secrets could get out.
“Daimyo-sama, kazekage-sama, it’s good-“ Hiruzen paused in the middle of his sentence when he heard the door close behind him before he could make a clone to switch out with. In the end, he was stuck. “-to see you both. Who wants to start?” He finally finished his sentence with a slight hint of defeat in his tone and he reluctantly took his seat. All he wanted was for this to end fast and he prayed that he got out in time.
Shibi nodded calmly, “I’ll start then. During our search for Naruto we ran into an ally capable of producing a medication that actually allows men to carry children.”
The Daimyo’s eyes widened slightly, looking both skeptical and curious, “Is this confirmed? Does it work for civilians?”
To the Daimyo this was a big opportunity. Not for himself, but for his son. This might be a way to be a grandfather and have a son who’s happy with who he weds.
“Yes. It takes one dose each time a child is wanted. Of course, the person who will be providing the medicine asked to be kept secret for his safety. Only Konoha and Sand will know of it.” Shibi explained with a nod towards Gaara. “We were told that it can be a bit of a mental shift for men so anyone interested was asked to visualize what it might be like. If you look out the windows you’ll see several men are participating in the exercise.”
As everyone, ninjas, Daimyo and civilians alike, went to the windows Hiruzen just chuckled to himself. It was suddenly so obvious! This was a dream!
Just before Jiraiya arrived he yawned and felt very tired, but now he didn’t. Then Jiraiya just happened to appear with potentially damning information. On top of that both the kazekage and the Daimyo arrived at the same time and that was followed up by a familiar male pregnancy dream scenario. Clearly he nodded off at his desk. It couldn’t be anything else.
With relief flooding his soul, Hiruzen did exactly what he should in a dream. He did whatever he wanted, which meant standing up and walking out of the room. At first he was annoyed that no one came after him. However, he reminded himself that it was just a dream and it wasn’t a big deal.
During that casual stroll Hiruzen found himself outside. The sight of Kakashi and many other men sporting different sized baby bumps made him laugh heartily. Many people there were men he didn’t even recognize like a man Itachi called Remus. It was hard to say where his dream found such an odd name.
Hiruzen didn’t waste a second more pondering it. His eyes locked onto another dream scenario. He casually walked right up to the Mages who were chatting with the pregnant men.
“Excuse me!” Hiruzen called out he made his way through the crowd of pregnant men and up to the only two non pregnant men in the street right now. “Put your blood on this.” He ordered the gas mask wearing Mages as he held out the scroll that will reveal Naruto.
The Mages tilted their heads in obvious confusion. In fact, they weren’t the only ones. Kakashi, Iruka, Itachi, Ibiki, Shino and the other pregnant men stopped admiring their baby bumps and watched the hokage with raised eyebrows or very subtle smirks. The hokage was normally polite to guests.
However, the Mages soon shrugged off the rudeness and took off their gloves. Both Mages’ hands had fair skin. Also both bled when cut with a kunai so neither were clones.
Iruka frowned when the hokage sighed, “Hokage-sama, is there something in the scroll you want because someone else could try.” He offered when the hokage clearly looked disappointed that the blood only coated the scroll instead of opening it.
“Oh my! You’re the Mages, right? I would love an autograph.” A woman under a green paper parasol was heard saying as she made through the crowd of pregnant men.
When she finally stood next to the Mages everyone saw that she was in a very short green Chinese style dress with black details that showed off her legs. She eagerly hugged each Mage and handed them a bingo book for them to sign. However, all Hiruzen saw was ‘her’ face when she finally turned to glance at him with a smirk. Yet again, the dream woman was actually Orochimaru.
“Hello, sensei. Like my outfit?” Orochimaru asked while playfully twirling the parasol and posing to tease Hiruzen with his long bare legs that had cute black kitten heels that went with the rest of the outfit.
XXXXXXXXXX
Back in the council meeting the Daimyo smiled, “I see the Mages are here. I haven’t seen them since hiring them to escort my nephews to school. They even managed to get those brats to take their medicine when they caught a cold. An impressive team.” The old Daimyo praised when he saw the Mages appear and mingle with the men trying the pregnancy exercise.
Shibi nodded, “It’s because of their help we found the person who can make the pregnancy medication and Naruto.”
Several of the pale civilian council members with bags under their eyes gasped, “He’s coming back? Seriously?” They practically sobbed shamelessly.
The Daimyo coughed sheepishly, not sure how to respond to that, “Yes. Truly an effective team.” He commented, just pleased that the ninjas didn’t seem to know how to respond to the traumatized civilians either. Suddenly he raised an eyebrow when he turned, fully intending to sit back down, and noticed something. “Did Hiruzen leave?” He said in a dangerously calm tone, clearly not happy with such a disrespectful action.
“This is actually a good opportunity.” Shibi said and the Daimyo looked curiously at everyone there, who all seemed concerned.
The kazekage sighed when the clan heads didn’t continue, “I understand why this is awkward for those from Konoha so I’ll explain. Hiruzen hasn’t been himself lately. The people on guard duty has tripled since my last visit.”
The Daimyo’s eyes narrowed, “Is he expecting an attack?”
“It might be even worse than that.” Everyone looked over and saw a serious looking Jiraiya had walked in. “Daimyo-sama, my sensei … Hiruzen, hasn’t been himself. He insists that he sees lights and hears music coming from the Namikaze compound, but no one has seen anything … and he’s been searching for anything related to the Fourth hokage and the Uzumaki clan. That paired with what Shibi said about Naruto possibly returning it seems like Hiruzen is trying to stop him-“
“Why? If he comes back we can say sorry and it’ll stop!” One very tired civilian yelped, getting frantic nods from other civilian council members.
Again, no one really knew how to respond to them so Jiraiya simply continued, “He’s truly disturbed about bringing Naruto back, but I think it’s because he wants to get Naruto to agree to give him money. I found documents for an account that was shut down once Naruto left.” The toad sage said as he handed over the documents that Gringotts was kind enough to provide. “Since he was locked out I believe he wanted to use Naruto, but it’s where this extra funding is going that concerns me. I informed Hiruzen that I helped arrest several people involved with a drug ring. He couldn’t even hide the fact that he was shocked and … panicked.”
“That is concerning.” The Daimyo murmured, not liking the possibility that the old hokage is either unhinged or into something nefarious.
Jiraiya’s jaw dropped when saw something through the windows, “What the fu-“
In order to remain on the Daimyo’s good side the toad sage wisely covered his own mouth. However, just because he didn’t complete his sentence doesn’t mean he didn’t get his point across. Everyone immediately turned to look out the windows again so they could see what freaked out the toad sage.
Much to everyone’s shock the hokage was in the center of the pregnancy crowd in the street down below. For whatever ever reason he was making the Mages cut their hands and put blood on a scroll. As everyone in the meeting room was trying to figure out what the hokage wanted to accomplish a parasol was spotted heading towards the Mages.
Obviously it wasn’t a floating parasol. Someone was carrying the parasol and that person navigated the crowd to get to the Mages. That’s when something horrible happened.
Granted, no one in the office could see the face of the person carrying the parasol. Many assumed the person was a woman because of the lovely legs and dress that were spotted as she walked. On top of that no one in the crowd seemed concerned by the parasol carrying woman. However, Hiruzen was at the same angle as those in the crowd, but clearly saw something different. Hiruzen took one look at her before flying into a rage and tried to kill her with the unsealed staff that appeared in his hands. If not for the Mages’ fast thinking she could’ve been killed.
“I’ll help stop him! Guard the Daimyo!” Jiraiya yelled before swiftly jumping out one of the windows.
The Daimyo watched an army of ninjas try to stop Hiruzen. It wasn’t easy by any means and it didn’t help that the Mages were fast too. After all, the hokage was chasing the Mages because they were running away with the women. Thankfully, the Mages tactfully led Hiruzen into Tsunade, who joined in. Moments of pure destruction and chaos later several ‘pregnant’ men finally tackled the hokage in what was a rather hilarious take down.
“I want Hiruzen detained, stripped of his power and everything he has ever touched thoroughly investigated.” The Daimyo ordered the council, who readily agreed as the hokage was chained up and his chakra sealed. After a few minutes the Mages, who were now only holding her parasol , and the sobbing woman walked into the room. “Are you alright, miss? Do you know why Hiruzen snapped?”
The pretty woman sniffled and shook her head, “Right before he attacked … he called me Orochimaru. I just wanted the Mages’ autograph. Do I look like a 50 year old snake sage?!” She wailed and cried into her hands.
Shibi coughed sheepishly, “Of course you don’t-“
“Honey!” Someone yelled and soon a young medic named Kabuto ran into the room. He immediately hugged the woman, but paled when he saw the Daimyo. “Daimyo-sama, council, I’m sorry for-“
The Daimyo shook his head, “This was Hiruzen’s fault and since it started in the middle of the crowd with the Mages present, is it safe to assume no one reacted because no one saw what Hiruzen did?” The Daimyo asked and glanced at the Mages.
The bounty hunters nodded, “We didn’t see Orochimaru and we are aware of what the snake sage looks like.” They lied in perfect sync while giving Kabuto the woman’s parasol and signed bingo book. “We will be right back. Naruto asked us to escort him into the village … he’s nervous and doesn’t want the person who helped him to get in trouble so since he knew we were trailing him he asked us.” They said and the civilian council members cheered, clearly relieved and happy.
“Very well.” The Daimyo said dismissing the team, who walked out with Kabuto and the woman.
Once they were out of ear shot the woman smirked and her eyes flickered yellow, “That was fun. I think I’ll stick around and watch the rest of the show.” Orochimaru said behind his disguise as he leaned on a very pleased Kabuto.
“I’ll take you to my place then, my love.” Kabuto said as he wrapped an arm around the ‘woman’s’ waist.
The medic sealed away the parasol and bingo book and led the gleeful snake sage away. Next the two Mages immediately left the village after that. They stopped right in front of Naruto.
“That went really well.” One Mage said as he pulled off the gas mask revealing himself to be Sasuke.
Naruto laughed, “Well? I saw some of it from the compound before getting here. It was perfect.”
Harry nodded from behind his disguise as he canceled the spell that made Sasuke’s hair change colors like his, “Thanks for standing in, Sasuke.”
Sasuke snickered, “It was so worth it to see Shino and Itachi with baby bumps.” He said and removed the rest of the bounty hunter disguise revealing his usual chunin uniform underneath. “See you guys soon! I have to help with cleaning up.” He commented as he handed Harry the bounty hunter disguise and leapt into the treetops to race back to Konoha.
“Ready?” Harry asked as he sealed the uniform away and made a clone to complete the bounty hunter team. “With all the doors in the compound it won’t be a problem keeping your distance from the villagers.” Harry said and he and his clone started walking Naruto back to the village.
“But mainly seeing our lovers and keeping up with Wizengamot meetings.” Naruto said cheerfully, reminding Harry that the Tom persona was still very useful.
XXXXXXXXXX
Slowly but surely Hiruzen realized he wasn’t dreaming.
He really did ditch the Daimyo …
He really did attack a person, but he was sure he saw Orochimaru. Apparently, no one else did though …
He really was being investigated …
Where did he go wrong? Ne had to fix this. It’s not like he was actually insane.
“Don’t you fret. I’ll keep you company until the trial.” Hiruzen perked up at the kind offer from the voice that was, at least, not Orochimaru’s, but when he turned around all his hopes were crushed. “Want some cheese?” The mini version of the nine tailed fox said while offering Hiruzen the half eaten chunk of cheddar in his paws.
Instead of accepting a little cheesy goodness from the mini demon Hiruzen decided to scream. None of his screams of ‘the demon is out’ were listened to. After all, a very living Naruto has already returned to Konoha meaning the fox demon was still trapped in its vessel.
Those screams continued though since no one updated Hiruzen. In the end those screams and the results of the investigation sealed Hiruzen’s fate. Several months later the execution was scheduled and Hiruzen was happy when the door opened fully instead of food getting pushed through the slot.
“Finally! Look!” Hiruzen exclaimed and pointed to the back of his cell where nothing was. “It was right there! The demon fox was right there!” He yelled as the guards chained him up and escorted him to his death.
The only witnesses who came to watch his death was the woman he attacked, Jiraiya, Tsunade, who wore the hokage robes and the Mages. Before a medic stopped his heart the parasol woman’s eyes flickered a familiar yellow and she smirked with Orochimaru's face. Despite slowly dying Hiruzen attempted to point and gurgle a scream. Again, no one reacted and he died never knowing the truth.
Everyone in that room was working against him. Even the random medic turned out to be Kabuto. He was finished the second a certain wizard decided to play with his mind the same way Hiruzen tried to manipulate Naruto. Now his corpse was being ripped apart by other medics, who were hired to harvest any usable body parts. Hiruzen only helped himself in life, but now he can help someone else in death.
Orochimaru looked immensely satisfied and smiled at the Mages as he stood up, “Give Severus my love!” He said cheerfully.
Naruto and Harry chuckled, “And then some.”
The snake sage snickered and took Kabuto by the arm, “Don’t work too hard Tsunade. Love the books Jiraiya.” He exclaimed as they all walked out.
XXXXXXXXXX
Itachi, who was sporting a very real baby bump, looked at the clock, “It should be over.” He said and all his fellow harem mates, who were all chilling in the large Malfoy living room, perked up.
A split second later the Mages appeared. Naruto and Harry simply dropped their masks on the floor. In a second, before anyone could respond, Naruto immediately pulled Severus into a steamy kiss.
From that point on everything became a wonderful lust filled daze. Not that anyone minded. They all believed a few more baby bumps were needed …
The End
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Magic Behind the Kunai