Other People's Choices | By : Lomonaaeren Category: Harry Potter > General > General Views: 24374 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 5 |
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Chapter Forty-Six—In the Middle
Harry walks into the library and sees Draco standing uncertainly in front of the table where their study group usually gathers. Hermione has her arms folded and Ron looks stubborn and Blaise looks as though he’d like to leave the table and go bang his head against a wall.
Only Theo and Daphne look cool, but then, they usually do. Harry shakes his head and walks over to them. “What’s the matter?”
“He says he apologizes. But he doesn’t say for what.”
Harry turns and focuses on Draco. He doesn’t know exactly why Draco squirms a little whenever he does that, but he’ll take advantage of it. “Say what you mean.”
“But it’s so bloody humiliating,” Draco breathes. His face is turning darker than Ron’s right now. “To say it like this where everyone can hear.”
Harry waves his wand and casts the spell that he’s learned from one of Tarquinius’s spellbooks on the air around their table. “There. Now no one can hear us, and everyone here is already aware of what went on, anyway.”
Daphne smiles. “I’m not. I never bothered to pay attention to every nuance of Draco’s interaction with Granger.”
“Not helping, Greengrass.”
Daphne blinks and shuts up. Then again, it’s not often that Harry calls her by her last name to her face anymore.
Draco appears to be distracted by something else. “How did you do that?”
“I cast this spell I know. I promise that no one else is going to overhear us—”
“I didn’t mean that. I meant, how did you cast that spell without saying anything? I saw you wave your wand and I felt the magic, but I didn’t hear you!”
Harry blinks. He supposes that he’s practiced the spells he had trouble with, and that was one of them, for so long in his bed at night when he doesn’t want to wake anyone up that he can do it now without speaking aloud. “I practice. It is unusual to be able to use wordless magic like that?” Most of the books their study group is reading now don’t say it’s unusual.
“Oh, no,” Theo says.
“Then—”
“If you’re a seventh-year Hogwarts student.” Theo leans back and considers him from head to foot, as if he’s never seen Harry before. “You really don’t know the extent of your own power, do you?”
“What does it matter? We’re here so that Draco can apologize to Ron and Hermione.”
“What about him apologizing to you?”
“I don’t care about that, Hermione. I consider what he gave me for Christmas as enough of an apology. But you’re the ones who get to choose if he means the words he says, and if you’re going to accept them.”
Draco swallows and seems to realize that now’s not the time to discuss whether or not Harry can use wordless magic. He faces Hermione again and says, “I apologize for calling you a Mudblood. I should never have done that.” He sneaks a glance at Harry, but Harry only waits, because it’s not like that’s the only thing Draco’s done, maybe just the worst. Draco sighs. “And I’m sorry that I implied that you’re a know-it-all and inferior to me.”
“What about what you did to me, Malfoy?”
“I was getting to that, Weasley. I’m sorry that I sneered at you in class and insulted your House, Granger. And I’m sorry for bullying you.” Draco pauses for a second. “I really can’t remember what else.”
“Last year. When you were going around saying that you hoped Slytherin’s monster killed all the Mudbloods.”
Draco winces. Harry blinks. He honestly wouldn’t have put that on the list of things for Draco to apologize for. It seems like the whole school hated him, not Muggleborns, and Draco wasn’t the only Slytherin who seemed gleeful about the prospect of “purging” the school.
“Yes. I am sorry for that. I think—” Draco straightens his back with what looks like a painful snap and locks his hands together behind him. “I think that I did that because I don’t really know what death means. I’ve never seen anyone die in front of me. If I did, it would be horrible. But I didn’t know. I just acted like I wanted it.”
Hermione scrutinizes him, then smiles. Harry relaxes. Those aren’t the words he would have chosen any more than he would have chosen to ask Draco to apologize for that crime, but Hermione knows what she’ll accept best. “Then your apology is accepted, Malfoy. As long as you never do anything like that again.”
“Thank you, Granger.” Draco faces Ron. “I’m sorry for calling you Weasel, Weasley. I’m sorry for making fun of your family and their—lack of money. I’m sorry for taunting you because of your parents and your House.”
“And you’re sorry for attacking me and threatening to get Crabbe and Goyle to beat me up,” Ron prompts.
“Yes, I’m sorry for attacking you and threatening to get Crabbe and Goyle to beat you up.” Draco looks calm and resolute, but Harry can see how tightly his hands are locked together behind his back. This is hard on him. But probably not as hard as it was on Ron and Hermione to get bullied by him. “Do you accept?”
“No.”
“Ron!”
Ron scowls at Harry and Hermione. “You never said I had to accept. I can’t do that. I know that he’s only apologizing because Harry made him, and because he wants to go on studying with us so that he can do well on the exams. He doesn’t mean it.”
“Then I don’t have to apologize,” Draco says unexpectedly. “You don’t want to be my friend, fine. But I tried, so that means I’ve done all I can and I can stay.” He turns and looks at Harry for approval.
Harry wishes they would all stop treating him like he’s a bloody leader. He doesn’t want other people making decisions for him and he doesn’t want them to insist that he make decisions for other people. But since he was the one who came up with the idea for Draco to apologize, he has to at least make this one.
“What else do you think he should do, Ron?” Harry asks.
“Mean it.”
“How could he show you that he means it?”
“Stop acting like a git all the time.”
“I’ve stopped acting like a git to you! I stopped that when I started participating in this study group!”
“But you need to be sorry for what you did.”
Draco opens his mouth, looking furious, and Harry steps in. “This isn’t going to go anywhere good right now. Draco can stay. Ron, if you decide to accept his apology, great. But you don’t have to talk to him, and Draco doesn’t have to talk to you.”
Ron’s face turns red again. “Why are you letting him stay? He didn’t apologize because of his own free will!”
“Neither did Cho before I told her to apologize to Luna.” Harry nods his head at the far end of the library, where the two Ravenclaws are waiting for them to lower the privacy spell. They still look uneasy around each other, although Luna is smiling and Cho is just trying not to look at her. “She thought she could make things better by apologizing to me. If I come up with ideas like this, and people do them, then that should be enough.”
“What if I don’t want to be in a study group with Malfoy?”
“Then leave.”
Ron stares at Harry with a look of outrage. Harry doesn’t back down. It isn’t fair if he kicks Draco out when he apologized. Draco did what Harry told him was the price. Ron doesn’t get to control who’s in the study group. Sometimes he mutters about Theo, even though Theo never spoke a word to him before they started working together. Harry doesn’t intend to let it get to the point where he’ll have to make everyone in the study group a Gryffindor.
Ron slams his books around dramatically for a second, but doesn’t actually get up and storm off. Harry relaxes and lowers the privacy spell, making sure to say “Finite” aloud this time. Doing it in the instinctive way is stupid when it’s just going to result in people staring at him like he he’s dangerous.
Cho and Luna come walking up. Cho is smiling nervously. “Um, Harry, I know someone in Hufflepuff who’d like to be part of our group. He’s in your year. His name is Zacharias Smith.”
“That prick?” Blaise asks.
Harry blinks at him. Blaise rarely swears. “What’s wrong with him?”
“He’s descended from Helga Hufflepuff somehow. He goes around scorning everyone who doesn’t have the blood of the Founders in them. Which is everyone, of course.”
Except Tom Riddle, Harry thinks, and wonders if he can find a way to slip the Heir of Slytherin into conversation. He shrugs. “Tell him that he can come along and the minute he’s a prick to someone here, out he goes.”
“I’m sure he can control his mouth,” Cho says, with a little glare at Blaise. “Thanks, Harry. He was busy today, but he did say he was interested in joining.” She sits down and spreads her books out. “Can we work on that charm that you said bounced hexes back at the caster? It sounds more useful than some of the other shields.”
“Sure.” Harry feels himself relax as he falls into the role of teacher. He doesn’t have to worry that much about Snape, he thinks. Sure, he said a stupid thing, but what can Snape actually do? He doesn’t have the power to oppose Dumbledore and Sirius. “The incantation is Murus rufus, and the wand movement is up from the height of your heart and to the left, sharp-like…”
*
“Why are you speaking with me, Severus? If you have a problem, then you need to talk to Sirius.”
“I do not think he will listen to me.” Severus forces his arms to remain folded across his chest instead of reaching for his wand. “Whereas there’s a chance that you will. You are the more reasonable one.”
Lupin gives him a tired smile. He’s standing outside Black’s quarters, where he seems to spend most of his time. “That’s a new opinion for you, Severus.”
“Do not joke. Did you know that Albus basically intends to serve the boy to Black on a silver platter, choose Black’s Mind-Healer, and otherwise make it impossible for Harry to extricate himself from the Headmaster?”
Lupin starts up. “If he tries to make Harry live with his cousin again—”
“I think that suggestion would be a long time in coming. I am more concerned about the fact that he could have Black legally declared sane before he actually is.”
Lupin’s face shuts down. “And that’s just your jealousy of Sirius talking, Severus. I don’t know when Harry started mattering to you, but I know that it’s not as important to Harry as the bond with his godfather is.”
Severus wants to snarl. He holds himself back. Harry is more important. “This is not about jealousy. This is about the fact that I watched Harry flying on his new broom yesterday with Black supposedly guarding him, and the mutt was encouraging Harry to risk his life.”
“Harry has James’s talent. I think a lot of the things he does that you think are dangerous actually aren’t.”
“Flying as fast as he can around the Keeper’s hoop and ducking his arm through it? That could break his arm, Lupin!”
Lupin looks troubled, but he shakes his head. “If you try to raise this with Sirius, he’ll only get defensive, and that will slow down his healing.”
“That’s why I want you to know about it. Black is likely to let you spend time around Harry that he’ll never let me spend. I want you to tell him not to try to make Harry into more of a daredevil than he already is.”
“I told you, it would slow down Sirius’s healing.”
“Even if you raise it?” Severus stares at him.
“Yes. Anyone who opposes Sirius right now is going to be in for it, and going to hurt him. That’s why Albus was trying so hard to find a Gryffindor Mind-Healer. Not really because he wants to control Harry and Sirius, but because it will make Sirius more comfortable. He’s opposed, he’s going to dig his heels in.”
“Listen to me, Lupin.” Severus’s tone of voice by itself is apparently enough to make the werewolf reach for his wand, because Severus hasn’t moved. “While everyone is prioritizing Black’s stubbornness, who is caring for Harry’s safety?”
“Sirius would never deliberately endanger Harry.”
“It’s exactly the accidental harm that I’m worried about! Need I remind you that the last time Black decided to have a bit of fun at this school, it nearly resulted in me being turned into a corpse and you into a murderer?”
Lupin’s face turns pure white. He swallows and Severus thinks he’s about to admit something, but in the end, Lupin’s loyalty to his friends runs too deep. He says, huskily, “Sirius didn’t mean to do that—”
“That is the point—”
“He would never do anything like that now,” Lupin cuts him off hastily. “I know you don’t think so, but he loves Harry. He only wants the best for him.”
“And if the best consists of flying so fast that he breaks his arm trying to be a Quaffle? Or his head? Are you still going to say that’s the best, Lupin? Or is it the best for Black?” Severus pauses, then pushes his point one more time. He thinks it’s all he dares risk. “Black would be hurt, as well, if something happens to Harry. Stop thinking that he’s a complete innocent and get him the help he needs.”
“He’ll get it. I’ve met Healer Hawksgift. She’s a perfect Gryffindor, and that’s what Sirius needs right now.”
Severus gives up in despair. He doesn’t know what else he can do at the moment, but he obviously can’t go through Lupin. “I had hoped that your days of standing back and looking uncomfortable while Black does his best to torture someone were over, Lupin.”
Lupin does look like he’s about to faint now. It’s cold comfort. He still values his old friends more than he values one friend’s son. Severus turns and stalks away. He’s going to do something.
And it’s increasingly looking as though his only choice of allies may be his old ones.
*
“That was great, Harry!”
Harry laughs and lets Sirius ruffle his hair. His heart is beating fast with excitement. Sirius told him that if he went as fast as he could, until it felt like his heart would explode, he would also do the best flying of his life. And that’s what happened. Harry swooped around the trees of the Forbidden Forest and nearly got an eye poked out, but that’s okay. It didn’t happen.
And Sirius is looking at him like he’s the center of the world. That’s what matters. That’s the only thing that does.
“Did you hear something?”
Harry looks up at Sirius in concern. Sometimes Sirius acts paranoid and jumps at shadows. On the other hand, he does have keener senses than most people because of his Animagus form, and they’re in the Forbidden Forest. Harry draws his wand cautiously.
Sirius sniffs loudly and looks around at the trees. Then he crouches down like he’s about to transform into a dog and attack someone. Harry tenses in anticipation.
Sirius does transform, but he leaps on Harry, barking, instead of running after danger. Harry laughs and goes down under him, rolling over and over. It’s nothing like the way that Dudley and his gang would sometimes make him do this, although his heart is still beating fast. Sirius is trying to lick his face and mock-growling and snapping his teeth playfully at Harry’s sleeves.
Harry finally sits up and shakes his head, mopping his face off with one hand. “Did you really sense something?”
Sirius shakes his head and takes off for the castle, his tail thrumming. Harry follows him, remembering to snatch up the Firebolt before he does.
This is what life should really be like: sneaking out of school and doing fun things with someone who loves him.
*
Daphne leans back against the tree behind her and touches her wand. Her Disillusionment Charm is getting better, if she managed to fool a crazy dog’s nose.
So Black is making Harry do dangerous things. Daphne watched him speed past the trees with a distant admiration and with terror clawing at the back of her mind as she realized her gift wouldn’t protect him from crashing into a limb and losing his life.
She has too much invested in Harry to simply stand back and let Black kill him because he has a fragile mental state or whatever. So that means she has to do something to make sure that Harry doesn’t end up with Black.
That should be simple enough.
*
Kain: I think that everyone has different opinions on what would be best for Harry, and no one may be entirely right. In the end, it may be that Harry would have to make the decision, and whether he can make it right now for anyone other than Sirius is an open question.
Blaise has a variant of a Gift that his mother does. Hers only lets her enchant men to love her. Blaise's is a little broader. And I'm afraid that I can't answer questions about other Gifts right now. :)
Daphne just goes about doing what she wants quietly, and because it doesn't have the flash--positive or negative--of the other Slytherins, it's easier to ignore her and think she's not doing anything.
Yes, Severus didn't handle that as well as he could have. And he doesn't handle Remus as well as he could have, either. Of course, he still has his biases and his limitations affecting him.
No, the Buckbeak incident isn't going to happen. It would have already by now if it was going to.
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