Amore et Amicitia | By : Kimmimaru Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Sirius/James Views: 6685 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any characters or settings by JK Rowling. I make no profit from this story. |
AN: Well, yet another chappy. :) A bit more angst for you! Enjoy...
Chapter Forty-Eight: Ordinis Phoenix (Order of the Phoenix)
It took several long seconds before people began muttering and turning in Sirius’ direction, his hands clenched convulsively as he tore his eyes away from the photograph. He felt James’ hand on his arm, a gesture meant to reassure but all he could hear was the roar of fury in his ears.
“Black, please come with me.”
Professor McGonagall’s voice reached through the red fog that had descended on Sirius and he blinked up at her before nodding slowly, he rose and held his head high. McGonagall’s face was impassive, but the slight down turn of her mouth told him she was angry. Dumbledore turned off the projector and clapped his hands, silence fell. “Well now, it appears we are experiencing...technical difficulties. Please continue to enjoy the dance.”
No one seemed interested in doing anything except discussing what they had just seen, all eyes followed Sirius as he left the Hall with McGonagall. James chewed his lip nervously, he was just glad that the image hadn’t included himself as that would have caused trouble for everyone, including Lily and he didn’t want that.
Sirius sat in the hard seat before McGonagall who was gazing at him sternly, he kept his face impassive. “I have one question for you, Black...why would you Exchange the normal images with such...graphic ones?” She said with pursed lips.
Sirius stared at her for a full minute before it registered why she was so angry, not because he was gay but because she thought he had swapped the pictures. “It wasn’t me!” He exclaimed furiously. “Why would I do that?! I didn’t even know the pictures had been taken!”
McGonagall looked surprised for a moment before sighing. “I apologise, but after years of your pranks it’s rather difficult to tell who did what.” Her face relaxed into what usually constituted for kindness. “Then do you have any idea who would have done it? Who would wish you that much ill?”
Sirius shrugged. “Half the school does, Professor.” He said with a sigh.
“I very much doubt that, you and your friends are the most popular trio in the school. Are there any particular enemies you have encountered?”
“Severus Snape.” Sirius answered instantly. “But...I really don’t think he would have done this.”
McGonagall sighed. “Well, it does not really matter much this close to the end of term. I am sorry for what happened.”
Sirius shrugged. “Well, everyone knew I was gay anyway...” He stood up and swept hair from his eyes. “Thanks, Professor.” He smiled slightly as he turned to the door.
When he left the small office he was accosted by James, Lily, Remus and Peter. “Are you alright? Did you get into trouble?” James asked, grabbing him by the tops of his arms.
Sirius smiled and shook his head. “Nah, she thought I’d put the pictures there myself...I told her I hadn’t and she let me go.”
James released a sigh of relief and pressed his forehead to Sirius’. “Good.” He smiled and released him.
“But who could have got hold of those kinds of pictures?” Lily asked on concern.
Sirius shrugged. “I didn’t even realise they had been taken...”
“This is going to have consequences, Sirius.” Remus said quietly. “You know it will.”
“But we’re leaving tomorrow...what could anyone possibly do?” Sirius replied.
“Lots of things, we still have a few more hours of this ball and then we have the rest of the night...be careful.”
Sirius patted Remus on his head. “I know how to watch my own back, Moony.”
James put his arm around Sirius’ shoulder. “But you don’t have to, what are we here for?” He grinned and Sirius returned it.
XXX
Sirius returned to the Hall, everyone was grouped together discussing what they had seen and when he entered they all turned to stare at him. He ignored them with dignity and went to the drinks table, he reached for the Punch ladle and began filling a goblet. A boy at his side knocked the ladle from his hand so it splashed down his front. Once again silence fell across the gathered students as Sirius gazed down at the orange stain travelling up his robes. “These were brand new.” He said in a flat voice.
“Eugh! I touched you.” The boy said and began wiping his hand on the table cloth. “I’ve probably caught something horrid! Get away from me, filth!”
There was a smattering of laughter throughout the hall and James stepped forward, only to be halted by Sirius’ arm. “Filth?” Sirius asked softly, he raised an eyebrow. The silence was oppressive and Sirius took a breath, he steeled his courage and smiled his sexiest smile. With a quick movement he grabbed the boy by the wrist and dragged him so their faces were inches apart, Sirius didn’t give the boy time to pull away before he pressed his lips hard against the boy’s mouth. He felt him go rigid and smiled.
James stared with a slightly open mouth, he could see the boys horror struck expression and it would have been comical had James not been full of raging jealousy. Remus let out a loud burst of laughter and Lily grinned as Sirius released the boy with an evil smirk. “There, now you’re gay too...did you know its catching?”
The boy wiped his sleeve across his mouth and stared at Sirius with furious humiliation, his face was crimson and his eyes wide. He took one look at Sirius and legged it. Sirius sighed quietly to himself before looking down at his robes. “Well, these are ruined...they were expensive too...I’ll be back, I’m going to go change.” He smiled at the others and left the hall, James watched him go before turning his eyes back to the boy who Sirius had kissed. He grinned evilly and cracked his knuckles.
“James, he’s been humiliated enough.” Remus said quickly, putting a hand on James’ arm.
“No, he hasn’t.” James muttered. “I want to see him cry.”
Lily rolled her eyes. “Don’t bother, he’s not even worth it.” She said.
“I’m more concerned with who swapped the pictures.” Remus gazed around the hall with a frown. “Has Sirius pissed anyone off recently?”
“Not that I’m aware of...Peter?” James turned to Peter who was standing in the shadows looking miserable.
“I don’t know, he’s always been a bit of a man-whore perhaps he’s shagged the wrong bloke?”
James frowned irritably. “What’s your problem with him?”
Peter shrugged. “He’s a git to me and you know it, James.”
“He’s a git to everyone, he’s only joking.”
Lily looked doubtful but held her tongue, she was beginning to like Sirius but his arrogance still held a lot to be desired. He could be truly horrible when he wanted to be and she didn’t like his bullying.
“He’s not joking when it comes to me, James! Stop sticking up for him! He’s a bully and we all know it! Why do you even bother with him?!” Peter snapped, finally losing patience with James’ ignorance.
“Peter, Sirius has a lot of problems. You have to accept that most of his behaviour stems from long years of being made to feel powerless and worthless...imagine yourself in his shoes and try to understand why he is the way he is. He has so many good points that they outweigh the bad.” Remus said with a smile.
“What good points? Being attractive is meaningless.”
Remus sighed heavily. “He’s a good, loyal friend. You know he would die for any of us if the need arose, he would sacrifice everything for us. He’s powerful and has a wicked sense of humour. Need I go on?”
Peter fell silent, he stared moodily around the room feeling annoyed that his prank hadn’t had quite the desired effect; Sirius seemed not to care what others thought of his sexuality.
XXX
James was dancing with Lily when Sirius returned, when the doors opened everyone turned to stare. Sirius was wearing muggle clothing, he leaned against the door frame and smiled brightly. His jeans looked uncomfortably tight, his boots were heavy black leather and his t-shirt left little to the imagination. What surprised James was the collar around his throat, he snorted laughter as he recognised it as one he had got Sirius for his birthday the previous year. Its silver bone-shaped tag read ‘Sirius’ in clear copperplate letters. Lily raised an eyebrow and smiled. “He looks like a rock star.” She said absently. “And he’s certainly getting as much attention as one.”
“I blame Moony, he got Sirius into Muggle rock music.” James replied, he took Lily’s hand and gently pulled her over to Sirius. “Looking good there, Pads.” He said with a grin.
“Don’t I know it, Prongsy.” Sirius said as he ran fingers through his hair, it fell back into his eyes in a wave of ebony. “I decided that I no longer care what these people think of me.” He straightened his back and gazed around the room with insolent eyes. “I am what I am, I can’t help liking other men...Why should I change who I am simply to fit in?”
Lily grinned happily and put her hand on his arm. “That’s the spirit.” She said gently.
Sirius’ eyes sparkled as his eyes landed on hers. “Well, it’s taken long enough. How can I expect others to accept me for who I am if I can’t even accept myself?”
Peter glared at Sirius, how could he not be angry? He was gay and it was disgusting, he should have been ashamed not flaunting his sexuality in front of normal people! He hunched his shoulders and Sirius’ gaze met his, the smirk on his lips made the hairs on the back of Peter’s neck stand on end.
“I have to thank you, Peter, for helping me along.” Sirius said as his grin widened. “I knew it was you as soon as I got upstairs...” He took out a handful of pictures and threw them at Peter’s feet. “Sneaky little rat that you are, my nose is more sensitive than you’ve given me credit for mate. I easily sniffed you out.”
James frowned as he picked up a picture, it showed Sirius on all fours with his head bowed as a Slytherin who had long since left school fucked him. James’ mouth tightened and he crumpled the picture in his fist. “It was you?!” He exclaimed as he turned to his friend.
Peter flushed and looked at his feet. “I only wanted t-to humiliate him.” He muttered mulishly.
James made a sound of disgust. “I thought you were better than that!”
Sirius watched Peter’s discomfort for a moment before sighing. “Just leave it, it was a mistake.”
“A mistake?! Sirius he could have hurt you! What if...”
“Jamie, it doesn’t matter.” Sirius smiled easily. “Nothing happened except I got punch spilt on me, let’s leave it at that.”
James reluctantly withdrew and bit his tongue but he sent Peter a look full of disappointment. Peter had the grace to look ashamed.
After that the party was easier, Sirius astounded the other students by smiling and laughing. He stayed within his group of friends and ignored the stares he was gaining, his body language was all confidence, he spoke with ease and held his head high. He kept close enough to James that their fingers brushed ever so lightly, and their shoulders rubbed together and he drew comfort from his lovers presence. He took a perverse pleasure in acting as if the photographs hadn’t phased him, it confused people and he was also enjoying being able to truly be himself even if he knew that in the big wide world he would once again be persecuted.
--XXX—
The Order of the Phoenix was a collection of willing volunteers, powerful witches and wizards who wished to see the end of Voldemorts reign of terror. The members were diverse, from a few people the Marauders knew such as Alice and Frank Longbottom and Marlene McKinnon from school and people they didn’t such as the Prewett twins and Aberforth Dumbledore, Albus’ brother. The very first meeting found Sirius yawning widely as they made introductions and discussed their aims.
“I am glad to see that so many wish to help.” Dumbledore said with an enigmatic smile as he gazed around them all. They were holding the meeting in an old mansion, it looked as if it hadn’t been in use for a few years. “Now then, let me begin by saying that our mission is to prevent Voldemorts total takeover of the Ministry of Magic. We cannot even guess just how far Voldemort’s foot hold is in the Ministry so we are unable to completely trust them. There are only a select few...” He tilted his head politely towards Alice, Frank and Alastor Moody. “...Who are truly trust worthy. The spread of fear is one of His greatest weapons, if we do not hold strong it will destroy us long before Voldemort himself makes any moves. Our tasks will be to protect the higher ministry members from attack, this will be left to the Auror’s among us. The rest will help gather information, stop Voldemort’s plans in any way possible and help me to find any weaknesses he may have. Are there any questions?”
Moody stood up and turned his intimidating gaze to Sirius. “What makes you think we can trust a man who comes from a long line of Dark Wizards?” He growled.
Sirius gazed at him from heavily lidded eyes. “You can trust me as much as you can trust any human being.” He said and lifted his hands. “We all have weaknesses and I suppose if the Dark Lord were to discover mine I would be as weak as anyone, however, one thing you can count on Mr. Moody is that I will throw away my life for my friends and my family mean less than nothing to me.”
Moody stared at Sirius for a moment before grunting and sitting down. “Very well then, but know I will keep an eye on you boy.”
Sirius leaned back in his seat with an easy grin. “I would think you stupid not to.”
Moody seemed impressed by that as he nodded his head in a satisfied way. The meeting concluded with Dumbledore saying that he would contact them when he had set another date for the next. The Adjourned and returned home. Sirius went back to James’ to have dinner with his parents. They apparated into the garden, Sirius stumbled slightly but caught himself on James’ shoulder with a small chuckle. “I don’t think I will ever get used to that.” He muttered as he straightened himself out. James smiled and they walked to the front door of the house, he tapped his wand on it and it swung open. James frowned to himself as they stepped into the dark hallway. “This is odd...” Sirius muttered.
“Are they asleep do you reckon?”
“What at seven in the evening?” Sirius raised an eyebrow and James looked at him, worry was clear in his eyes. “I’m sure they’re just out is all.” He tried to sound reassuring but was failing as all the hairs on the back of his neck stood on end.
They walked up the stairs after checking the living room, dining room and kitchen and finding no sign of life. Sirius began to feel worry creep into his soul, the house was far too quiet and the air was heavy with expectation. James was glancing around nervously and he had one hand wrapped firmly around his wand. “Mum? Dad?” He called through the house and got no response.
“Mrs. Potter?”
“Perhaps they’re just out...” James muttered.
Sirius didn’t answer, he knew as well as James did that they had been ill for the past few days. Dorea had fallen ill just before they had returned from Hogwarts, Charlus not long afterwards. They had been bed ridden but they had seemed well enough when Sirius had last visited. James reached their bedroom door and knocked. “Mum? Dad?” He got no answer so he pushed it open...
The air of the room was heavy with the scent of sickness, Sirius covered his nose with the sleeve of his jacket as they entered. He looked at the bed. James froze where he was, his wand falling to the floor as he gazed at the sight before him. Sirius backed away a step and leaned heavily against the door, he closed his eyes and slid down it until he crouched. “Shit.” He whispered in a choked voice.
“M-Mum?” James stepped closer, he had been away for a few days meeting Lily’s family. He had wanted to introduce himself to them properly. He had thought his parents simply had colds that would go away but obviously the illness had been a lot worse than they had been letting on. “Dad?” His voice was so quiet he wasn’t really sure if he had spoken aloud. He moved to the bedside, his feet felt heavy and ungainly as he stopped and gazed down into his parent’s faces. “S-Sirius?” He whispered. He didn’t wait for an answer as he closed his eyes tightly. “C-can you...g-get...get someone...?” his voice broke as he fell to his knees.
Sirius watched him for a moment before standing and leaving him alone with his grief. He walked down the stairs just as he heard a strangled sob from the bedroom, Sirius paused and looked back up the corridor but he knew James wanted to be alone so he forced himself to go and contact St. Mungos.
XXX
“Dragon Pox at their age.”
“Terrible.”
“So sad, leaving behind a son...what will he do now?”
“Oh, I wouldn’t worry about him. He’s just inherited a fortune.”
“Yes, they were very rich weren’t they?”
Sirius let the whispers wash over him, he collected his glasses and moved away from the table. The funeral had been small and quiet but many people came to the wake, the Potters had been popular but unfortunately a good many of their friends were gossipy old ladies with nothing better to do than speculate on the manner of their deaths. He moved through the crowds, making sure he didn’t spill his drinks as he finally located James who was surrounded by a gaggle of people giving him false condolences. He accepted them with a stony face, eyes slightly blank and out of focus from the calming draft Lily had forced into him earlier. He was wearing mourning black, underneath his robes was a crisp white shirt but it had been Sirius who had had to ensure he was dressed properly. Sirius stepped up behind James and tapped him on the shoulder, he turned and his eyes gained some light back as he smiled gratefully at the drinks. “Thank you.” He muttered and took a glass from Sirius’ hand.
“I am so sorry for your loss, young man.” An old wizened woman stepped up before them, she clutched a bright pink purse in her claw-like hands as she squinted up at James. “I knew them well, such a shame. Good people, very good.”
“Uh...I’m sorry but I don’t think we’ve met...?” James said in a monotone.
“Oh of course we have, boy! When you were but a baby. I’m Muriel Prewett, a good friend of your mothers.”
James reluctantly took her clawed hand and smiled weakly. “It’s a pleasure.”
Murial nodded. “I knew your mother when she was a girl, wild little thing she was. Her family despaired of course...but those Black’s despaired quite often.” She turned her sharp, beady eyes to Sirius who blinked at her. “And I see another one there. Which branch are you then?”
“Sirius Black...eldest son of Walburga and Orion.” Sirius replied slowly, his mouth twisting in distaste.
“Oh, very interesting. I did hear that you had been disowned, apparently your father never said your name right up till the day he died.”
Sirius’ eyes widened in surprise at that. “He’s what?”
“He’s dead...didn’t you know?”
“No...No I didn’t...” Sirius muttered with a small frown.
“Your family are probably the craziest bunch of Purebloods I ever had the misfortune to meet. Insane, the lot of you...but it’s not really surprising considering that you marry such close relatives.” She sighed before turning away. “Anyway, I have said my bit now...where are the drinks?”
She walked away leaving Sirius feeling slightly confused. He sat down on a sofa heavily and downed his drink as James sat at his side. “Well...she’s an odd one.”
“She’s a Prewett...they’re all a little odd.” Sirius muttered with a quick smile, it faded rapidly as he gazed at his glass. Before he could speak again the old woman was back, she now had a glass of champaign clutched in one claw.
“Hello, is there anything I can help you with?” James asked politely, his voice still holding that blankness that suggested he was in a great deal of shock.
“Not you dear, the Black boy.” She pointed at Sirius who raised an eyebrow. “I just heard from Gertrude over there that she heard your mother has just suffered another loss...”
“Another loss?” Sirius’ hand tightened convulsively on his glass.
“Oh yes, I believe they said Regulus? Anyway, she says that he was doing some dirty work for he who must not be named...he was well in with the crowd apparently but it seems as if he got cold feet and tried to scarper. Poor little thing didn’t stand a chance!”
Sirius felt his stomach twist violently as he stood on shaking legs. “E-Excuse-” He ran off to the bathroom. When he reached it he locked the door and leaned against it. He closed his eyes tightly as grief clutched at his chest and heart. He lifted shaking hands to his face and stifled a grief ridden shriek that tried to rip its self free of his lips. Finally he collapsed to the floor and curled up with his face buried in his knees. “R-Reg...” He whispered to himself and he could see his little brothers smile in his head.
END NOTE: Orion and Regulus Black die in the same year according to HP Wiki and James' parents are reputed to have died of Dragon Pox, they were very old according to canon so I wanted to stick it in there. Poor James! Poor Sirius! :( (I stuck Muriel in there because I think she's a hilarious character and her gossipy nature and harshness lent itself to the story, also the Prewetts are related to the Black's by Marriage and therefore related to James' family so she would probably be at the funeral of James' parents...)
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