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Changing of the Guard	By : Lomonaaeren Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Draco Views: 58627 -:- Recommendations : 4 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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Chapter
Forty-Nine�Epiphanies

�� Draco had
to control the immediate burst of anger that filled him when he saw Weasley and
Granger sitting on the doorstep of Harry�s home. He was glad he was behind
Harry at the moment. He could clench his hands into fists and glare without
having to fear that he would lose control and step forwards to curse them
before they knew what was happening.

�� Granger
immediately stood when she saw Harry and reached towards him with an anxious
hand. Harry halted on the walk in front of the house and shook his head. His
eyes were brilliant, and Draco was glad to see that, though he would have to
watch hard to make sure the brilliancy didn�t transform itself into tears. He
put a hand on Harry�s shoulder and they both halted there, waiting. The sky was
cloudy, but here and there a ragged spot of sunlight fell through. Draco
thought it most unfair that one of those spots should linger on Weasley�s hair,
brightening it. At least it might be behind them in the eyes of Harry�s
friends, rendering their faces dark and hard to see.

�� Harry,�
Weasley began. He halted, coughing. Harry gave him no help, which heartened
Draco more than almost anything else could have at the moment. He waited with
his arms folded, his eyes darting back and forth between his two friends. Given
his control of his body language, Draco didn�t think the defensive gesture was
accidental. Harry was telling his friends how very, very displeased with them
he was.

�� Won�t you say something?� Granger implored him at
last. She was chewing her lip so hard that Draco was faintly surprised she
hadn�t drawn blood already. �We missed you, Harry. And we haven�t understood,
but you haven�t tried to make us
understand. I was just trying to do what was best for you��

�� Draco
couldn�t allow that outrageous statement to pass unchallenged. �So you violated
the trust he reposed in you and went to tell the Mind-Healers his story,� he
said. He had both hands on Harry�s shoulders now, and he pushed down, a silent
invitation for Harry to lean back if he would. Harry chose to, and Draco
reveled in both the brush of crisp, curly hair against his throat and at the
stunned expressions on the faces of Harry�s friends.

�� There was
no disgust mixed into those expressions, he did note. Interesting.

�� If
someone�s about to kill himself, you don�t listen to his wishes to keep it
secret,� Granger retorted. She swallowed. She looked mostly at Harry and not
him, whilst Weasley divided his attention equally between the two.

�� You
thought he was suicidal and yet you left him alone?� Draco arched an eyebrow.
�Oh, very intelligent of you, Granger. I can see why you earned high marks in
every class you tried to take except Divination.�

�� Leave her
alone!� Weasley said, his voice coming out more as a bark. �She hasn�t done
anything to you.�

�� I�m
grateful that you at least acknowledge the two of you did something to Harry.�
Draco linked his arms together around Harry�s waist and nuzzled into his hair
again. �And the pain you caused him did hurt me. I was the one who had to put
him together again when I arrived not long after you got done breaking him into
pieces.�

�� Shouldn�t
he speak up, if he resents us?� Weasley stooped as if to catch Harry�s eye,
though the posture Harry had adopted didn�t put him at that much of a disadvantage in height. �Why are you letting him
speak for you, mate?�

�� For the
same reason you sometimes let Hermione make the arguments in rows.� Harry�s
voice was soft and mild, a feat Draco doubted he himself could have managed
even with Narcissa, if she had hurt him as these two had hurt Harry. He took a
step backwards and lifted his head, so that he no longer leaned so heavily on
Draco but still stood close to him. �He speaks the same words I would.�

�� Weasley�s
face crumpled, and then slowly flushed a deep color, as close to orange as
Draco had ever seen human skin come (at least, human skin that was not stained
with a number of highly dangerous and illegal potions ingredients). �Harry�you
can�t be in love with him.�

�� Life would
be easier for all of us if you could accept that some of the things I�ll tell
you, no matter how distasteful, aren�t lies.�

�� Draco
smiled. He could hear the snap of anger in the back of Harry�s voice like lightning
hidden in distant clouds. He could remain silent now, if Harry wanted to
continue the argument in his own way. He had just needed to make sure that
Harry didn�t intend to roll over and let his friends trample on him. He fell
silent, stroking the back of Harry�s head and cupping his hands around the nape
of his neck, offering a resting place if Harry wanted to take it.

*

�� Harry had
felt panic when he saw Ron and Hermione waiting, though he doubted he could
have admitted that to anyone but Draco. But the fear had drained out as he
rested for a few minutes on Draco�s shoulder, not looking directly at his
friends, and listened to them scolded.

�� He didn�t
really want to antagonize Ron and Hermione. Seeing them again was like
receiving a new flush of blood in a limb he�d sat on for long minutes. But
Draco�s scolding reminded him that at least one other person in the world took
his side, instead of theirs. And that was support enough.

�� At least
for the moment.

�� Did you
come to apologize?� he asked. �I can offer you the truth and my own apologies��

�� Draco�s
fingers bounced against the back of his neck in protest. Harry tipped his head
so that his hair brushed them in reassurance and continued without faltering.
��if you have, but if you only intend to nag me about giving up Draco or my
participation in the rebellion, you�re wasting your breath and might as well
leave now.�

�� Ron and
Hermione exchanged a speaking glance. Harry felt a sudden stab of sadness. He
could tell that the glance was speaking, yes, but not what it said. Ron and
Hermione had lived so long with one another that they had developed their own
language, and Harry had spent most of his time with them in the last few years
practicing silence and the ability to be unreadable himself.

�� We argued because we don�t really know each
other anymore, he thought, and admitting his own guilt no longer flayed him
alive as it would have done at one time. Draco had taught him how to get past
that. Harry spent a moment lost in wonder. Exactly what had he done, to deserve
someone like Draco?

�� But
Hermione was talking now, and Harry wanted to listen to her as he had never
wanted to listen in the last ten years. �We�ll�accept who you are, Harry,� she
said, with some difficulty. She reached up and scrubbed at a tear in the corner
of her eye. Harry raised his brows. He couldn�t remember the last time Hermione
had willingly shown weakness like that in front of someone else, let alone
someone she had to still regard as an enemy. Maybe that was as good a sign of
her honesty as her actual words. �We�ll try, at least.� She gave him a faint
smile. �And I know you won�t give Malfoy up. I�ve never seen you stand so close
to someone else before and depend on them so much. Not even me,� she added with
a wistful little sigh, as if she were remembering their seventh year together
and how many times she had saved Harry�s life.

�� Good,�
Harry said, with a little nod. �And what about my involvement in the
rebellion?�

�� Ron spoke
now, looking uncomfortable. �Shacklebolt told me that he�d never ordered the
Aurors to raid those places.�

�� Harry
suppressed the devilish little urge that prompted him to ask exactly what
�places� Ron meant. If his friend found it hard to name the rebellion because
of lifelong fear and loathing, Harry shouldn�t push him too fast or far in that
direction. �Yes,� he said. �And that made a difference for you?�

�� Of
course!� Ron looked caught somewhere between surprised and disbelieving. �First
I thought I had orders to do my bloody job, and now I realize I was a puppet in
the hands of whoever played the Minister for a fool��

�� His name
is John Grey,� Harry said, and saw Hermione�s lips tighten. Of course, Grey had
probably also been active in support of some of the people she was fighting
when she tried to gain equal rights for house-elves and Muggleborns. �Draco and
I have hopefully given him something to think about other than opposing the
rebellion for right now, but I wouldn�t count on that lasting forever. I think
you missed the import of my question though, Ron.� He leaned forwards. �If it
turned out Shacklebolt did order the
Aurors on those raids, would that make it all right with you? Would you want to
attack lots of people just like me for the crime of kissing and dancing with
each other?�

�� Ron flushed
a brilliant crimson. �They don�t need to do it in public,� he muttered.

�� Harry
snorted. He could feel his stomach crawling up and down his throat, but he had
Draco at his back, warm and steady, and this needed to be threshed out before he could decide what kind of
relationship he could have with Ron. �The first meeting was held in private,�
he said, �but never mind that. Do you think I deserve to be dragged off to
Azkaban for kissing Draco in the middle of Diagon Alley, which I did?�

�� That made
Ron stagger a little. Harry supposed he hadn�t realized until this moment the
implications of that picture and the implications of Harry being �Brian.�

�� It�s
different for you, mate,� Ron said at last. �I know you. I know you�re a good
bloke, and wouldn�t corrupt children or�� He stopped. Harry suspected he�d
caught sight of a dangerous narrowing of Draco�s eyes.

�� Harry
reached back and ran a soothing hand up and down Draco�s arm. He was amazed at how
strong he felt, how calm. But he had already gone through the shattering fall
that resulted from Ron and Hermione learning the truth about him. If they
rejected him again, he wouldn�t be alone. And he would walk away stronger for
the experience, having trimmed off the fear and weakness that had made him avoid
confronting Ron on this issue time and time again. �Ordinary gay wizards
corrupt children? How interesting. I think I�ve known more of them than you
have, and I�ve never heard of or seen any of them doing such things.�

�� You know
what I mean!� Ron thrust his hands into his robe pockets and rocked back and
forth on his heels. �Showing them�telling them that it�s all right to be like that, there�s nothing different or strange
about it��

�� I see,�
Harry said, nodding wisely. �Children of good families might learn that gay and
bisexual wizards are human beings like them, and then they might treat them
normally instead of recoiling in disgust when they see one of us. We can�t have
that.�

�� That�s not
what I meant!�

�� Then
explain it.� Harry stepped forwards. Draco moved with him, keeping one hand in
place at the back of his neck and one arm looped around his waist. Hermione
watched Draco with a strange expression, but Harry didn�t care. �I�ve listened
to those words and others that are equally nonsensical from you for years, Ron.
I�m tired of putting up with them. Explain to me how you know that gay wizards
abuse children, or why it�s the end of the world for someone to prefer having
sex with men to getting married, or why it�s disgusting to kiss a man in public
but not disgusting for a man and woman to grope each other in public until
there�s skin showing. Tell me what you
think, not what you blindly accept, and tell me why you think it.�

�� Ron had his
arms half-lifted, as if he wanted to fold them in front of his chest but
thought he would be shutting Harry away forever if he did that. His fists
opened and closed the same way, and he hissed between his teeth. �I can�t
explain it,� he said. �It�s always been true, and it�s always�I wouldn�t have
changed my mind if I didn�t know you, Harry, it�s not fair to say that I should change my mind��

�� You always
believed that gay people were some vast evil monolith,� Harry said. He ignored
the tears now slowly streaking Hermione�s face and concentrated solely on Ron. Ron
had never been good at holding back his emotions for long. Harry would rather
have a flood of vitriol from him than go back to the situation they�d existed
in before, a limbo of silence in which Ron could say whatever he wanted whilst
Harry had to watch his tongue and not show too much sympathy with people just
like him. �Then you got to know me, and realized they weren�t. But you pushed
the knowledge away.�

�� You were
my friend before you were gay!� Ron
screamed. �That�s the difference! I know you! I don�t know them!�

�� Really.�
Harry leaned closer. �And does it make a difference to you at all that I�ve got
friends in the rebellion, that hurting them causes me pain?�

�� Harry.�
Ron was shaking now, and either sweat or tears collected in the corners of his
eyes. �Don�t.�

�� Say it,
whatever it is,� Harry said. He took another step forwards. He was exhilarated,
his chest rising and falling with sharp gasps of breath. Draco hummed and
murmured approvingly against his neck. Finally, this would be all out and done
with, and Harry could make his mind up about Ron. �Say whatever you�re afraid
to say, though why you would be afraid of driving me away now when you did your
best to accomplish it��

�� I don�t
like gay people!� Ron screamed at him. �I�m uncomfortable around them, I don�t
understand them, I don�t understand why you would choose to sleep with a man when you could have a woman instead!�

�� Harry
nodded. Draco had stiffened behind him, but Harry clasped his wrist and
caressed his arm. �That�s it, Ron,� he said. �Say what you mean.�

�� I wish I
didn�t have to change my mind,� Ron moaned. �It�s so hard. Who cares about something like this, compared to the invasion
of the Ministry by people who can order Aurors to do whatever they want?� He
wiped his face with one hand and glared at Harry. �And then you have to date Malfoy, of all people, and you have to
acknowledge him publicly as your boyfriend! Someone who hated me all through
school. Someone who taunted and threatened Hermione. I don�t understand it, and
I doubt I ever will understand it.�

�� I don�t
understand why you and Hermione stay together, either, given how fiercely you
argue,� Harry retorted. �But I accept it.�

�� It�s natural, that�s why.� Ron sawed a wild
hand through the air. �It�s natural for a man and a woman to be together. It�s
natural for Hermione to have a baby. It�s natural for a boy and girl who spend
a lot of time arguing to have an attraction between them, a�a kind of charge
that draws them together.�

�� But not
for a boy and a boy?� Harry exchanged a quick, amused glance with Draco, then
looked back at Ron. His friend�s words did hurt, but he hadn�t yet decided that
he would reject Ron completely. It would depend on what conclusion he came to
about several things, including his final treatment of Draco.

�� Ron stared
back and forth between him and Draco for several moments, then sagged against
the door of the house and muttered, �Oh, bloody hell.� He buried his head in
his arms.

�� Can you
actually name any differences beyond the obvious ones?� Harry asked him gently.
�Tell me why your relationship is natural and mine isn�t?�

�� We can
have children.�

�� I do hate
to tell you this, Weasley,� Draco drawled, �but a gay man doesn�t lose the
ability to have children. I happen to know that several of my ancestors who
preferred men, long before it became as socially unacceptable as it is now to
do so, had children with well-compensated surrogate mothers. They simply didn�t
like women enough to marry and accept a designated spouse they had to be
faithful to in their beds.�

�� And not
every couple has children, either,� Harry added. �If Charlie got married and then
decided not to have children because he was too busy working with dragons,
would you call his marriage unnatural?�

�� Ron
whispered, �I don�t know what the difference is. I don�t have a reason to feel
the disgust and loathing I do.� He whipped more tears away from his face with
the heel of his hand and stared defiantly at Harry. �Is that what you want to hear?
That I�ve been behaving irrationally for the last ten years where you�re
concerned?�

�� Yes,�
Harry told him firmly. �Now that you know it was irrational, you can do
something about curing it.�

�� Ron shut
his mouth, looking ill.

�� You have
to decide,� Harry told him, lowering his voice to a whisper. �Would you rather
be rid of any polluting presence of a gay wizard in your life? Or will you
accept me as I am? I won�t be the perfect, compliant shadow I was around you
for the last ten years because I was so afraid of losing your friendship. If
you accept me and count me as a friend again, it has to be as an openly gay friend
who dates Draco Malfoy.�

�� Ron moaned
and put his hands over his eyes. Harry snorted in spite of himself. Draco
buried his face against Harry�s back, and Harry knew he was laughing, though he
managed to muffle most of it.

�� Yes, it�s
a rather unpalatable decision, isn�t it?� Harry asked, with no sympathy in his
voice. �Understand, I�m not asking you to like Draco or to forget that he ever
insulted Hermione.� Draco butted his head against Harry�s back in silent
protest; Harry ignored him. �But you have to be civil to him and you have to realize
that you can�t break us up or drive us apart by petty little schemes, the way
you might like to. Are you willing to pay that price?�

�� Ron stood
with his eyes downcast for long moments. Harry suspected he would never
understand the intensity of the struggle Ron waged in his soul during those
moments, and when he felt Draco�s mouth open, he pushed it shut again with the
corner of his palm. This was something Ron had to choose on his own, and if he
was influenced by a joke at the wrong moment�well, Harry didn�t want to lose
his best friend because of something so stupid.

�� Finally,
Ron looked up and whispered, �I�ll never like him, but I can accept it.� And
then he smiled, a tremulous expression. �I missed you, Harry.�

�� Harry
stepped away from Draco and went to Ron, embracing him. Ron shivered a little,
as though he thought Harry�s hands would wander where they shouldn�t, but he
hugged Harry back. Harry stood basking in the warmth until he felt Ron shift
with serious discomfort, then let him go and punched him on the shoulder. Ron
managed a shaky grin.

�� Then Harry
turned to deal with Hermione.

*

�� Draco was rather
disgruntled. How could Harry accept
Weasley as a friend after the rubbish he�d spouted about anyone who didn�t fit
his perfect little mold of marriage and children? But then, he�d never
understood how Harry could have befriended a Weasley in the first place. If
Harry could live with this, Draco supposed he could, as well. It was only his
offended sensibilities that were tied up in this, after all, and not his
emotions.

�� He turned
to look at Granger and was by no means sure that reconciliation would come as
easily. Weasley had expressed a prejudice Harry would almost be inured to by
hearing it everywhere else on a daily basis, but Granger had betrayed his
trust.

�� Harry
walked towards Granger and considered her silently, until she lifted her chin
and said, �I did what seemed to be the right thing at the time.�

�� And that�s
exactly what I need you to change
your mind about,� Harry said quietly. He sounded smaller and gentler than he
should have. Draco stepped up behind him again and hugged him, and Harry
immediately straightened and spoke with strength in his voice. He needs me, Draco thought smugly. �You
need to trust me, Hermione, instead of assuming you know what�s best. You need
to ask me what you need to know when
it concerns me, rather than looking in a book or sprinting off to an authority.
I could accept that when we were children and you were a rather hidebound
little Gryffindor who feared being expelled�or when there was a Dark Lord about
and you wanted to check my broom for hexes because there was a real danger
someone might have put them on it.� Granger flushed. Draco wondered what Harry
was referring to. There were still many details of Harry�s private adventures
with Weasley and Granger that he didn�t know but would demand to know soon, so
that he might be on an equal footing with them.

�� That�s
changed now,� Harry said. �But you never changed your relationship to me with
it, and you�ll have to. I want you to think about what I said to you about
Metamorphosis, and my having hundreds of different identities.�

�� Granger
went pale. �That�s true, then?� she whispered.

�� I�m not
going to tell you the truth yet,� Harry said, and Draco hugged him tighter in
sheer delight of how stern he sounded. �That�s your test, as I tested Ron by
seeing if he could decide what was more important to him, his prejudice or his
friendship with me. I want you to
refrain from finding out the truth. Trust that I�ll tell you when I�ve made up
my own mind about it.�

�� But,
Harry, you lied to us for so long��

�� And I
shouldn�t have done that, and I�m sorry,� Harry said, voice softening. �I�ll
have to trust you more, too.� Draco frowned into his hair. �But first you need
to show you can be trusted again. The reason I lied was to avoid the
disapproval that was all you handed me when I tried to confess. Now I want you
to restrain your curiosity for a little while. If you want to know what my life
in the last ten years was really like, ask
me instead of rooting around for the secret on your own. Accept that I
won�t answer some questions. Accept that I might not agree with what your
definition of right and wrong is�or what your definition of �healthy� is,
either, for that matter.� He leaned forwards, staring into Granger�s eyes.
�Place me first, instead of your own curiosity.�

�� Tears
trembled on the edges of Granger�s lashes. �I have, so often,� she whispered.

�� Those
times were all more than ten years ago, Hermione. As I said, I rested on the
memory of those times when I spoke to you. And then you went to the
Mind-Healers and ruined it all.� Harry shook his head and took a step back from
her, one that Draco was more than ready to help him make. �So wait now. Let
this question rest unanswered.�

�� Harry couldn�t have thought of a better
torment for her, Draco thought in satisfaction, watching Granger writhe
under the lash of her curiosity. When her eyes fell to the ground, she was
biting her lip and clenching her fists in much the same manner Weasley had.
Small grumbles and curses forced their way between her lips.

�� Fine!� she burst out suddenly, jerking
her head up. �I�ll be silent and let you take as long as you please to tell
me!� And then she lunged forwards and grabbed Harry around the waist, most
rudely displacing Draco�s arms. �Only please don�t go away again,� she sobbed,
whilst Harry embraced her back. �I missed you so much, Harry, I didn�t know
what was happening, I didn�t know how to save you��

�� Trust me
to save myself,� Harry whispered as he petted her hair.

�� I will, I will.�

�� And Harry
was going to trust her to make and keep the promise, Draco saw. His part in the
matter would be reduced to seeing that Harry didn�t make excuses for his
friends, rather than helping to punish them.

�� He sighed.

�� Then Harry
looked back at him and caught his eye, and Draco was reminded that Harry had
told him the full secret of Metamorphosis first, that he was the only one who
knew exactly why Harry had started the business in the first part, and that
Harry fought with him like an equal instead of having to deal with him on the
basis of a test.

�� He smiled.

*

�� qwerty: I
hope you like the Ron and Hermione confrontation.

�� Lucius isn�t
willing to leave the issue of Draco producing an heir alone forever. At least
Harry and Draco know he won�t let it rest.

�� FallenAngel1129:
I highly doubt that Harry and Draco can have a normal life, let alone a day.

�� butterpie: Thank
you! I think you�re exactly right about the Malfoys� treatment of Draco. Because
he was trying to find some way of breaking free of them without hurting them,
they became convinced they had to control him for his own good, that he wasn�t
ready to start being a full, independent adult as of yet.

�� Mangacat:
Let�s say that it was a good thing for Harry that Draco was there in this
confrontation, and a good thing for Ron and Hermione that Harry was there. ;)

�� lolizz:
Wow! That�s a lot of reading. Hope you got enough sleep.

�� I think a
sequel is unlikely, but I might do short fics set in the future, or side-stories.

�� SoftObsidian74:
Thank you! Harry does understand where Draco is coming from, and he�s probably
a little tender about that argument, still, so he lets Draco get away with
more. But it won�t always be that way.

�� And about
Harry�s actions toward Lucius: if Draco can be harsh in defense of him, Harry
can also be harsh in defense of Draco. Lucius is trying to throw him off-guard
with the praise, of course, and he�ll push again in five years. Harry and Draco
at least have enough warning to guard against that, though.

��
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Changing of the Guard