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Amore et Amicitia	By : Kimmimaru Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Sirius/James Views: 6685 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any characters or settings by JK Rowling. I make no profit from this story.

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AN: I am ashamed. :( I have not only been remiss in my updating schedule but I have made a mistake in my fact checking, Regulus and Orion Black do not, in fact, die until a little later on in 1979. I rushed things a bit. Sorry for that. I hope you can forgive me. :( Enjoy this chapter, I tried to make it as good as possible...thank you for reading.

Chapter Forty-Nine: In pluvia (In the Rain)

James stood at the door to his own bedroom and knocked on the wood with his knuckles, the wake was over and he had never been so grateful for anything in his life. He gazed into the room at the boy lying on his bed. “Siri?” He asked softly and saw Sirius lift his head and gaze at him through his dark fringe.

“James…” Sirius held out his hand and James came willingly as he was pulled into the bed and on top of his boyfriend. “Fuck me.” He gasped, his fingers grasping James’ hair tightly. “Please…”

“Is that…such a good idea? We’re both grieving and I…”

“Just shut up and fuck me.” Sirius grabbed James’ crotch, rubbing him gently through the material of his trousers, he groaned helplessly. “I need you…I need to forget…for a while.”

XXX

The door was unlocked when Peter arrived at James’ house, he had a basket of baked goods that his mother had sent him over with for the bereaved. He pushed open the door. “Hello? James?” He called through the eerily empty house, slowly he stepped inside and shut the door with a snap. It was quite like James to be so careless, even with all the Death Eaters going around and murdering people. He sighed and shook his head, for all his friends obvious intelligence only Sirius and Remus seemed to have the correct amount of distrust. “Fool, you can’t trust anyone these days.” He said to himself as he searched the house, in the kitchen he put the basket on the counter and put the kettle on to boil with a flick of his wand and a whispered spell. He hated that he had such difficulty with silent spells but ignored it when he heard a thud from the floor above him. A frown marred his brow and terror tore through his body making him sweat and tremble, he held his wand in a shaking hand and debated with himself. What if James was fighting someone? What if someone had just killed him? What if there were Death Eaters in the house?! Panic made him sprint for the front door but he paused as his fingers gripped the handle. What if he, Peter, were to save James’ life? What if he was to defeat the unwary attacker and finally get closer to James? What if he became a…hero?! His eyes widened as his mind filled with mental images of receiving an award from the minister for Magic herself, he saw James humbly thanking him, he saw Sirius’ insolent look of jealousy as he took his place at James Potter’s side. He smirked to himself and steeled his courage. He turned and looked up the stairs, with a great effort he began making his way up them.

It seemed to him as if the house had turned into an evil, creaking mountain as he climbed the stairs. Sweat dripped into his eyes as he trudged up them carefully and began making his way to the landing. Finally he reached it, wincing as his foot struck a particularly creaky floorboard. He froze and listened intently but the only sounds he could hear were his racing heartbeat and a strange, regular banging. He frowned, imagining some horrific torture going on. Each foot fall seemed much too loud in his own ears as he reached James’ bedroom door, his name inscribed into it in elaborate golden letters. The door was partially open so Peter peeked inside and his heart stopped in his chest, his mouth fell open as he saw a sight he had always tried to avoid seeing…

Sirius was on all fours with James behind him, they were fucking like animals. James grabbed a handful of Sirius’ sweaty hair and yanked it playfully making the man beneath him jerk and cry out. “Jamie! Fuck! More…harder…oh Merlin please!”

Peter took a silent gasp of air, Sirius’ face was a picture created by the greatest artist. His pale flesh painted in a soft sheen of sweat, his fingers fisted in the sheets and his muscles tensing beneath smooth skin as he pushed back against his lover. James too had never looked so beautiful, his glasses had fallen to the floor but his eyes glittered brightly as he leaned over Sirius’ straining back and bit down hard on the back of his neck. “Love you…Love you s-so fucking…much…AH yes!” Those hazel eyes glazed over as he wrapped his arm around Sirius’ chest and came with low growl.

Sirius groaned and lowered his head, pushing against James’ intrusion as he felt his lover release into him. He shuddered and hissed James’ name through bared teeth as the agony of his own orgasm ripped through him, searing every nerve ending in his body.

Finally they both collapsed onto the bed together panting heavily, Sirius wrapped James in his arms and nuzzled the hair at his neck. “Fuck…” James whispered with a soft smile as he pushed Sirius’ fringe from his eyes. “Amazing…as always Mr. Padfoot…”

“Hmmm…” Sirius hummed and nipped at James’ bottom lip. “Mr. Padfoot appreciates the compliment but is certain that Mr. Prongs should also be congratulated on yet another stunning performance.” He smiled and rested his head on James’ chest, gently tracing a random pattern across his skin. “…There’s…so much I…” he closed his eyes and sighed softly, burying his face in James’ throat. “…Gone…all gone…”

“I know, Siri…I-I know…” James replied, wrapping his lover and best friend tightly in his arms as he kissed his hair. He closed his own eyes against the pain and gritted his teeth. “They…never really leave us you know?” He rasped, trying to control his shaking voice. “They’ll always be with us…no matter what happens.”

“…How? They’re…dead…”

James pulled away and pressed the palm of his hand against Sirius’ chest, just above his heart. “In here, Siri.”

Sirius covered his hand with his own and smiled. “And if I die?”

“Then I die with you.”

Sirius hummed as James wrapped him in warmth, he circled James’ neck with his own arms as they kissed slowly. “Me too, Jamie…me too…” He breathed when they pulled apart.

Peter quickly dived away from the crack in the door, he was breathing hard confused by what he had just witnessed. He knew James and Sirius had been fucking but seeing it made it real, he calmed his beating heart just as the kettle he had put on downstairs went off. He swore quietly before dashing down the stairs just as he heard mutters from the bedroom.

“Did you put the kettle on?” Sirius asked sleepily from within the safety of James’ embrace.

“No…” James reluctantly sat up with a frown.

“Did you close the door after you saw the last guests out?” Sirius asked again, almost willing sleep to drag him down into it’s depths.

James frowned and remembered simply pushing the door closed, he didn’t recall hearing it click shut. “Oh fuck!” He said loudly and jumped out of bed, he pulled on his pyjama bottoms that had been pushed off the end of his bed and grabbed his wand. “Siri! Wake up! For fucks sake!”

Sirius groaned and forced his eyes open as he slid from beneath the sheets, he grabbed his jeans and shoved them on. “Alright! ‘M up!”

“Follow me…”

“If this is the Dark Lord, Jamie, I’m going to ask him to give me an hour or so before duelling…I’m knackered.”

James stifled his chuckle, his heart was racing and there was a mad kind of recklessness on him that had him desperately hoping for a fight. Anything to ease the empty hole that his parents had left him with. They stealthily crept down the stairs, easily missing the creaking one as they reached the downstairs hallway. James pressed a hand to his lips as Sirius gave a loud, wide yawn and scratched his messy head. He wrinkled his nose in distaste and grabbed James’ arm. “Look, twat, is a Death Eater going to be in here making tea?!” He said loudly with an irritated frown.

James paused and shook his head, clearing it. “Shit…no.” He sighed heavily.

“Oi! Whoever is in the house, can you show yourself so Jamie here stops freaking out?” Sirius called through the house, earning himself a playful punch in the arm from his lover. He chuckled to himself as a small set of footsteps drifted from the kitchen, Sirius snuffled the air in a very dog-like manner. “Jamie, reckon you’ve got rats.” He said with a smirk just as Peter appeared around the corner.

“Shit, Worm! You nearly gave me a heart attack.” James said as he moved towards their friend.

“Oh…sorry, James. I just thought I would bring over some of my mum’s baking and see how you are…”

James’ smile warmed. “Thanks mate.” He said with feeling and as he passed he ruffled Peter’s hair making his nose twitch in irritation. Sirius followed him, bare toes curling as they hit the cold tiles that adorned the kitchen floor, he leaned heavily against the door frame as James set about to making tea.

“Make some coffee Jamie…I’m dead on my feet.”

“Always the picky one…” James muttered affectionately as he waved his wand and the water began to boil again.

When the hot drinks had been poured James made Sirius’ coffee fly to the Kitchen table in front of him, Sirius’ smile was bright as he gazed into the warm beverage. He sighed and held out his hand, the sugar and cream shot into his palm and he added them almost thoughtlessly. Peter watched with a jealous frown on his face at this display of extremely complicated magic, not even James had been able to get the hang of wandless AND wordless magic. Sirius sipped from the mug and closed his eyes briefly, his smile small as he felt James’ arms around him. “Hmm…Jamie…” He breathed softly, a loving purr obvious in his voice.

“You going to thank me, Mr. Black? I’m not your house-elf.”

Sirius turned his head and met James’ lips with his own. “Thanks.” He whispered and nuzzled his nose against James’.

“Not a problem.” James sat at his side and sipped his own tea.

“My mum made cake.” Peter said, interrupting the soppy gazes and pathetic sighs his friends were giving each other.

“Ooh!” Sirius’ face lit up like a lumos as he gazed at the basket.

“What kind?” James asked curiously lifting the blue and white check blanket covering the food.

“Carrot…I think. And a chocolate muffin for Remus.”

They settled down in the kitchen and began distracting themselves with cake and laughter, James was happy to forget the day, it was almost easy to do that with two of his closest friends at his sides. He smiled more and they began to revert to teasing Peter, Sirius was being a little meaner than normal, probably because of Peter’s obvious dislike of his sexuality. But, as the night turned to morning, James began to notice how Sirius’ eyes would move to stare into space, how his shoulders would tense. Eventually he called a halt to proceedings being too tired to continue, they said farewell to Peter and went back to bed. Sirius fell into the sheets, dragging James with him and pushing fingers into his lover’s hair. “I love you James Potter.” He whispered, his breath hitching.

“I love you too, Siri…go to sleep, we need it.”

Sirius merely nodded before sliding beneath the covers and curling up, James curled around him and wrapped him in his arms. He took comfort in his strong scent, his soft breathing and the weight of his body against his chest. Slowly, as he listened to the birds sing outside the window, James fell asleep.

XXX

The Marauders gazed at Dumbledore in trepidation, he looked extremely grave as he looked at the four of them over his half-moon spectacles. “I am sorry to have to rely on you for this.” He said slowly. “But we have no other option, this ambush must be prevented and everyone else has been given other important tasks. Can I count on you?”

Sirius straightened his back, a grin breaking across his face. “Of course, Albus.” He said confidently. “I’ve been dying to get in on the action…all this recon stuff really gets boring after a while.”

James put a hand on Sirius’ shoulder. “Sure, I’m in.” He said with a hard look in his eyes.

“I will do it, if nothing else we may be able to prevent many deaths.” Remus said softly, although his eyes were dark with worry and fear.

Peter simply nodded, afraid to open his mouth for fear of vomiting.

Later the four of them were sitting beneath a small copse of trees in a park somewhere in Wiltshire. Sirius sighed and gazed up into the nearest oak, with a small smile he stood up and leapt into the lowest branch.

“Sirius! What are you doing?” Remus hissed.

“Climbing, what does it look like Moony?” He said and began scaling the tree with an ease that impressed James. “I will be able to see further form up here.”

“But if we’re attacked…if you’re spotted…Sirius, for crying out loud come down!”

“No.” Sirius chuckled again and finally found himself mid-way up, he crouched on a thick branch and began crawling stealthily along it. Finally he could see through the rich foliage and he gazed out across the meadow towards a large, intimidating mansion. He narrowed his eyes slightly as he waited for his prey. They were supposed to be ambushing a group of Death Eaters who were supposedly going to London to Ambush an important Ministry Delegation and stealing some confidential files, they had to be stopped. It was the most dangerous thing any of them had had to do for the order so far and Sirius was anticipating it with more fervour than he would have thought. The breeze in the tree lifted strands of his hair and tugged at them playfully as he watched a group of figures moving towards them, he signalled to the others who hid themselves easily. The tree around Sirius rippled as magical enchantments and traps went up silently, his friends working with the practised ease of having set prank traps for many, many students at school. He smirked to himself, his hand gripping his wand tightly as saliva filled his mouth and excitement flooded his brain.

He heard a soft whisper, almost lost on the breeze; “Padfoot…get down here.”

He ignored it, pretending he hadn’t heard. He had every intention of leaping down from his perch right into the midst of their targets just to scare them. The thought made his grin stretch wider and he gave a rough chuckle. The Death Eaters approached without caution, apparently happily oblivious to the trap, Sirius remembered Moody’s words before they had left;

“The Minister has given us permission to use reasonable force when apprehending Death Eaters…I wouldn’t recommend any of you lot to get yourselves into a fight to the death, do everything to avoid becoming like our enemies! And remember,” He had locked gazed with Sirius in particular as he spoke, his small eye narrowing dangerously. “CONTSANT VIGILENCE!”

Despite Moody’s unusually delicate wording none of them were under any delusions as to what ‘Reasonable force’ actually meant. They were allowed to kill Death Eaters on sight. Sirius had never killed anyone before, but there was something…some dark lure to the idea that somehow excited him far too much. His blood was hot in his veins as he watched the enemy approach and he licked his lips, he hoped, in the deepest recess of his mind, that his friends would be able to drag him under control before he really did hurt someone irreparably. He bit down hard on his bottom lip, attempting in vain to still the excitement flaring in his chest. He would enjoy this far too much and the thought scared him more than the possibility of death.

Finally the four Marauders heard voices.

“This is ridiculous!” One of the cloaked and masked figures muttered. “If we go there then we’ll be caught, we should go from the Leaky Cauldron to Gringotts and await them there…”

“No, we stick to the plan Mcnair.”

The other fell silent and Sirius felt a creeping dread steal through his body, that voice was one he recognised. The cold, empty voice…

“I’m going to fuck you bloody for that!”

…echoed in his mind as if from far away, he shuddered and licked his lips as he tried to hold himself still. He wanted so desperately to just jump down and kill Lestrange with a well placed curse, for his humiliation, for being forced to submit to the cruel bastard. But most of all for being forced to feel weak and helpless, being unable to do anything except let himself be fucked every night so that he didn’t feel as if he had been raped. He clutched his wand, waiting…

Finally the lead Death Eater activated the first trap, it went off with a loud bang and smoke issued from nowhere blinding their enemies. Sirius grinned and let out a triumphant yell as he leapt into their midst. The world was little more than blue-grey haze, flashes of coloured lights and screams. Sirius duelled a masked man, he knew this was not Lestrange and he wanted to hunt the man down. He deflected powerful spells, much stronger than he was used to as he danced back and forth exchanging blows with his opponent. Green light flashed past his head, his heart stopped briefly in surprise as the attack had come from behind him, he spun on his heels and felt something hard and heavy hit him in the chest. He landed on the floor in a tangle of limbs with the Death Eater who had attacked but the man was heavy and stronger than Sirius. He struggled violently, kicking out and aiming punches that seemed ineffective against the man on top of him. It didn’t take long before the man had him pinned down, no matter how hard he bucked he couldn’t throw him off. He bared his teeth in a snarl and glared up at the man who was pointing his wand directly at his heart. “Black!” He said with a deranged grin and Sirius knew who he was.

“Lestrange…” He breathed, a hiss of air through his teeth. “Just the man I wanted to see.” The sounds of his friends battling close by faded until he couldn’t hear them anymore, the world consisted of only himself and Lestrange.

“Look at you, you’ve grown up.” Lestrange grinned. “It will be a pleasure to watch the light in your eyes go out…I will keep it in my memory forever and think of the nights I made you say my name as you came.”

Sirius felt a rough hand in his hair as his head was dragged backwards, he was helpless to resist with both arms pinned down by Lestrange’s knees. Breathing was difficult as the heavy man sat on his chest. “F-Fuck…fuck you!”

“No, Black, I fucked you! And it was fun while it lasted…shame you’re wanted dead we could have had a bit more fun…good night, puppy.”

Sirius felt nothing as the tip of the wand was pressed between his eyes, he gazed into Lestrange’s and felt no fear, only a sense of profound resentment and regret that he couldn’t say farewell to James and his friends. He resigned himself to the inevitable and let a bitter smile onto his face. “To think that my death would happen so quickly.” He said softly, speaking mostly to himself. “I was kind of hoping to go out with a bang…fate can be a bitch.”Lestrange looked down into Sirius’ face and realised with an odd jolt that he was utterly unafraid of death, he frowned, not liking the total lack of fear in his victims eyes. He got off on the fear, it was the sole reason he killed because his victims screams and terror was almost enough to make him cum in his pants. But this…this was beyond disappointing and it made him angry. Sirius smiled when he saw the rage in Lestrange’s eyes. “Still, at least I’ll die knowing that I got my last dig at you, cousin.” He spat and began to laugh.

“Shut up!” Lestrange said, his voice wavering. Sirius’ laughter was insane, he sounded like his cousin Bellatrix and it was making him angry. “I said shut up!” He flicked his wand and a flash of white light hit Sirius in the face, the laughter was cut short and gave way to a sharp yelp that sounded very dog-like to his ears. Sirius opened his eyes, he had blood pouring down his face from a gash across the bridge of his nose. It bled profusely and stained his skin crimson.

“Shit…” Sirius muttered. “Bastard! No one touches my face!” Suddenly, with a scream of rage Sirius threw Lestrange off of him. He spat blood to the floor and wiped at his face with his sleeve. He bent to pick up his wand and glared at his opponent. “Fucking git!” he hissed and lifted his wand. “Now I’m pissed…!”

Lestrange saw the glitter in Sirius’ eyes, a glitter he was rather familiar with. It was the tell-tale glint of insanity or as people affectionately called it; Black Madness. The insanity was different to any other kind such as rage or madness caused by trauma, this was a madness that was born of generations of interbreeding. Something unique to Pureblood’s and the occasional Muggle’s who didn’t know any better. It was a madness he witnessed in his own wife day in and day out. The wind, which had picked up enough to send tendrils of smoke writhing across the grass and around the trees stirred Sirius’ messy hair as a grin split his face. He laughed softly, a dark chuckle that sent thrills through Lestrange’s body. He saw his own death in Sirius’ fathomless grey eyes and understood suddenly why Bella had been so adamant the Dark Lord recruit him. He was, after all, a Black. His gene’s were strong, not even being disinherited would change that much, yet he remembered Regulus, Sirius’ younger brother and realised that the younger boy had lacked this intensity. He had been smaller and insane in his own way but he was definitely not cut out to be a murderer, Sirius however…

“I’m going cut you into fucking pieces you bastard.” Sirius’ voice brought him from his reverie. Once again he wiped blood from his face and grinned, revealing a set of pearly teeth that seemed too sharp to be entirely human. “I’m going to make you scream like you did me!” He laughed and brought his wand up into a ready stance. “I hope you’ve made peace with yourself…Cru-” Something blasted him backwards and he was slammed into a tree with such force he was winded, his fingers went numb and he released his wand as darkness encroached on his vision. With the last of his sense he saw James standing before him, his wand firing a rapid selection of bright curses which found their targets amongst the Death Eaters. He smiled to himself as black clouds obscured his mind. “Thanksss…” He whispered before collapsing into unconsciousness.

XXX

“Sirius…”

Sirius groaned at the sound of his name, there was a horrible burning sensation in his face that worsened when he frowned. He groaned again when something began shaking him. “Go’way…” He mumbled and pushed the hand away but it was insistent.

“Siri, wake up.”

Slowly he forced his eyes open to reveal James’ face close to his, he smiled drunkenly. “Heeey, Jamie…wa’ happened?” He rasped feeling rougher than if he’d consumed every barrel of Oak Matured Meade in the Three Broomsticks. “Feel shit…” He reached up to touch the burning part of his face but James grabbed his hand and pulled it away.

“Don’t touch…Moony reckons it’ll cause more damage if we don’t get you back to HQ as soon as we can…”

Sirius tried to frown again but that sent jolts of agony through him and he gasped. “Shiiit…” He muttered as his vision greyed. “I…Jamie…what…what happened…?”

James gazed down at his lover with fear in his hazel eyes, he squeezed his hand. He looked so white beneath the shock of his jet black hair that Sirius began to feel a stirring of fear. “Am I…is it…? I…Jamie…fucking tell me!” He said desperately. “Am I ugly?!” He saw, in his minds eye an image of himself with scars like Moody’s and felt suddenly, violently sick. His looks were the only thing he had, if someone had taken them from him he was nothing…he was no one…fear entered his eyes as he gazed at James searching his face.

“No, you won’t be disfigured. The spell you were hit with only leaves a small mark, it only needs to get past the barrier of your skin…Moony’s pretty sure it’ll heal up without even a tiny scar…”

“Oh thank Merlin!” Sirius fell back and sighed as a great, heavy weakness entered his limbs. He let his head fall to the side and smiled drunkenly. “Jamie…” He whispered.

“Siri? Sirius! Stay with me!” James shook him, the terror plain on his face. “Listen…you can’t fall asleep! Whatever you do you must. Not. Sleep!”

James’ voice was getting farther and farther away, it was like a soothing lullaby as Sirius sank into soft, gentle darkness.

James gazed in horror as Sirius slipped away from him, a small, lazy smile on his face. He swallowed the lump In his throat as he ran shaking hands over Sirius’ face. “S-Sirius?” He breathed softly, watching the fluttering pulse in his lover’s throat. Suddenly Sirius coughed, his body going rigid beneath James’ fingers, he couldn’t stop the moan of helplessness escape his lips as blood, as black as the night sky, spilled from his friends lips. “Nooo…” He groaned. “M-Moony! Fuck! Moony! Hurry up! Please…oh merlin, please…HURRY!”
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Amore et Amicitia