Fragmented Soul | By : StrawberryGirl87 & Bickymonster Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Fenrir Views: 79707 -:- Recommendations : 3 -:- Currently Reading : 10 |
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This chapter is posted in celebration of our wonderful (award winning) Micha Greyback’s 44th birthday, which is today.
However, this might be the last chapter you get for a few weeks as we are both in the process of moving house at the moment. However, we didn’t want to leave you will the cliff-hanger of the last chapter for too long, so we thought we would post this one.
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Fragmented Soul
Chapter 49 – Unwelcome Sire
“Wait, what?” Harry asked as the realisation of what had been said hit him like a herd of rampaging hippogriffs. Fenrir was still holding him in his large, strong arms, which was probably a good thing because otherwise Harry might not have been able to remain so calm. As it was, the comforting scent of his mate ensured he remained grounded as his head swam with new information.“Well that explains why the scent was familiar,” Romy said in utter amazement, looking between her Alpha and her Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher, the two of whom were glaring at one another.“You should not be here,” Remus said calmly, looking nervously towards his office door, worried that at any minute he might be caught with a fugitive in his office. He, of course, had known that Fenrir Greyback was Harry’s Alpha, knew that there was a connection between the two of them but never in a million years had he thought that he would ever come face to face with the formidable werewolf again.“I’m here for my mate,” Fenrir growled, his grip around Harry tightening considerably as he took in the man that Remus had become. He had not seen him since he was a boy and even though Fenrir had searched for him before now he had always been unsuccessful in his attempts.He had always wondered about the boy he had bitten when only a child himself. It couldn’t be helped, accidents happened after all but there was still that niggling guilt that he had never been able to find this werewolf, reclaim him as part of their pack. Now, as Fenrir stood face to face with Remus Lupin as a grown man and an Alpha, he couldn’t help but feel unimpressed with the scrawny wolf; it was clear to Fenrir that he was not taking care of himself as a werewolf should.Remus would likely have been a formidable werewolf himself if it hadn’t have been for the fact that he seemed to be barely eating, his body showing signs of age when it should not have done. His clothes were shabby and in a state of disrepair. Fenrir would not allow anyone of his blood line, bitten or born, to end up in such a state, he would not have it.“That young man is fifteen years old and shouldn’t be anyone’s mate,” Remus said stiffly, giving the Alpha wolf a stern look. Remus Lupin was terrified of the Alpha wolf, there was no denying it, he knew that Fenrir would be able to scent his fear on him, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t stand strong. It wasn’t like Greyback could do anything to him; they were in the middle of a school and Harry and Romy were here to bear witness, so he felt pretty safe.“That young man is right here,” Harry said indignantly. “And for the record, I don’t mind being his mate; in fact, I rather like it.”“Nice to hear, little one,” Fenrir said softly, nuzzling into his mate’s neck, inhaling his scent and checking for injuries.Romy could only smirk at Harry, who seemed a little exasperated by the procedure after a few minutes. Remus, however, did not look pleased at all and he certainly didn’t appreciate watching the almost thirty-seven year old kiss, nuzzle and fondle a fifteen year old student.“Will you stop that!” Remus hissed at the Alpha wolf and his mate, who hadn’t stopped touching one another since they had been reunited.“No,” Fenrir stated. He wouldn’t let anyone dictate when and how he and his mate would touch each other, let alone a pathetic excuse for a werewolf that he sired. Though, admittedly, his respect for the scrawny werewolf was increased slightly with watching his attempts to stand up to him.“You have seen Harry,” Remus said firmly. “Now you need to leave,” he insisted, trying to take a different approach.Fenrir, pointedly ignoring Remus and the request for him to leave, turned to Romy. “Where is Clayton?” he asked with a scowl on his face. Since he was here he thought that he might as well deal with the situation; the eldest pup needed to be punished for what he had done.“He was here,” Romy said in his defence quickly, “I think he just got a little…”“Nervous,” Harry said, finishing off Romy’s sentence. “He’s feeling really guilty about what happened and I don’t think he thought he could face you right now.”“He will pay for what he did,” Fenrir growled, holding Harry close to him. Now that the Alpha had his little mate in his arms he wasn’t going to be letting him go until it was absolutely necessary for them. He knew that time was precious tonight, they would likely not even have an hour and Fenrir was determined not to waste even a moment.“Fen, please, he didn’t mean to…” Harry started to say but he was swiftly cut off by a stern glare from Fenrir who was not in the mood to hear any form of defence when it came to Clayton. Harry had been hurt again, he wasn’t going to stand for it and Clayton had to understand what his role was and why he was here at all.“No one hurts you, his place is to keep you safe,” Fenrir growled. He was unhappy with the situation; he disliked the fact that he was so out of control and that his mate was in so much danger all the time.“He’s still human, just… if you have to punish him, don’t be all grumpy Fen, be my Fen,” Harry said, turning himself round so that he was facing his mate, smiling sweetly up at him, hoping to placate him somewhat.“I didn’t realise there was a distinction,” Fenrir said, his large hands finding Harry’s waist and lifting him up slightly so that their lips could meet. Harry smiled into the kiss as his fingers wove into long blond hair. It felt wonderful to be in his arms again, even if they had only been apart for a week.“I just mean, don’t hurt him, okay?” Harry said as the kiss broke and he was placed on his own two feet once more. Harry was aware that it had been both him and Clayton who had been in the wrong; it seemed terribly unfair that Clayton would take the brunt of the punishment; especially when he, Harry, had thrown the first punch.“He will be punished,” Fenrir stated dryly; Harry would have no say in this matter.“Not while he is in this school he won’t,” Remus said, interrupting Harry before he could get out his protest of Fenrir’s statement, the professor glaring at the Alpha pair in stern disapproval. His instincts were telling him to get Harry away from the Alpha wolf as soon as possible, though it seemed that this would not be met with enthusiasm from either Harry or Fenrir. It didn’t appear that they wanted to be separated from one another at all.“He is a member of my pack, you know our laws. Romy, fetch Clayton,” Fenrir said, placing Harry on his own two feet, though keeping a protective arm around him, assuring that his little mate didn’t leave his side. He wanted Harry as close to him as physically possible for as long as he could have him there. Romy, nodding her head in understanding, headed for the door to do as she was told; she would not dare to go against her Alpha.Remus grabbed his wand and threw a second locking spell at the door to his office, just in case the one Harry had cast earlier wasn’t strong enough. “I can’t let this happen. He is a student at this school and it is my responsibility, as a professor here, to protect him, even if it is from his so called family.”“You will not keep me from my pack members,” Fenrir growled, glaring at Remus, who was daring to challenge him. He wouldn’t have anyone other than Harry stand up to him in this way. Remus needed to learn his place sooner rather than later.“I will keep you from other students of this school if I believe that you are a danger to them!” Remus said, trying to sound strong and confident; however, his voice wavered a little with his nervousness. Fenrir Greyback, after all, was a rather intimidating man to be stood before.“You will not stop me,” Fenrir growled angrily. If it hadn’t have been for Harry at his side then he would have been across the room in a heartbeat forcing Remus to submit to him. Harry, however, was holding on to him just as tightly as he was holding on to his little mate.“I will,” Remus said, meeting Fenrir’s gaze, though not exactly feeling good about it. He didn’t want to fight with this man as he knew that he would lose if it came to that, but he wasn’t about to let Greyback go gallivanting around the school, nor have the young girl Romy bring his victim to him.Currently Remus was uncertain as to the relationship between Romy and Fenrir, they didn’t look much like father and daughter but werewolf packs tended to be made up of immediate and extended family. He had never heard of Greyback having any family let alone a pack; it certainly made him wonder how many wolves made up the Greyback pack.“I am your sire, and now your Alpha, you will do as you’re told,” Fenrir said, his voice taking a stern and authoritative tone. Just as he had tracked down Lukas when he had smelt the familiar scent on the young man, Fenrir was just as determined to bring Remus into the pack, however unwilling he was.He had bitten this man and therefore Lupin was his responsibility; though by the look of him he was a poor excuse of a werewolf at the moment even if Fenrir could respect the courage the professor was showing in standing up to him. However, Lupin was a dominant male and therefore would make an excellent addition to their family; he could be taught what he needed to know. It would also mean more protection for Harry, especially when he was at this school, which was something he couldn’t pass up.“I don’t think he wants to do as he’s told, Fen,” Harry observed from the look of annoyance on Lupin’s face. The professor looked not only annoyed but completely infuriated at the suggestion that Fenrir Greyback was now his Alpha. It was almost as if the idea repulsed him, which Harry found a little offensive.“I won’t tolerate disobedience, little one,” Fenrir replied, his voice low and his words meant only for Harry, who was only trying to play peacemaker between the two adults, not wanting them to devolve into brawling like animals. He had seen and been involved in enough violence to last him a good long while.“You do from me,” Harry said cheekily, trying to lighten the mood and lessen the tension that had filled the room thanks to the Alpha’s overbearing presence. Fenrir had a way of dominating any room that he walked into, though it wasn’t always a good thing.“That’s different,” the Alpha wolf said with a low growl of irritation himself, before adding, “and not happily,” which made Harry giggle a little. Even Romy couldn’t help but snigger when she heard that. It was very true that no matter how unhappy Fenrir was about it, Harry got away with a lot that none of the others would have.“Do you do anything happily?” Harry asked, snuggling into the large, muscular body of his mate, taking a great deal of comfort from being there. He could never get enough of being surrounded by his mate. There were no words to describe just how much he loved this man.“Some things, little one,” Fenrir reminded him gently, a large hand coming up to stroke the messy raven hair, an affectionate gesture that was unusual from Fenrir but showed just how much the Alpha was missing him.Remus watched on with sort of morbid curiosity as Harry bantered, quite casually with one of the most feared werewolves to have ever lived. But Remus had heard and seen enough, he wouldn’t let Greyback floo in and start ordering them all around; particularly not him, given that he wasn’t even a member of any pack, let alone Greyback’s. “I don’t care if you are my sire, you are certainly not my Alpha!” he shouted suddenly, drawing the attention of the three other werewolves to him.“You are part of our pack, you will protect the pups,” Fenrir told Remus. As far as he was concerned this werewolf belonged with them just like Lukas did and was perfectly placed to protect the three youngest members.“You mean Harry, Romy and Clayton?” Remus asked, somewhat confused why Greyback honestly thought he could just give orders like this. But Harry was the son of his friends and he already wanted what was best for the boy; on top of that he was a teacher at Hogwarts, he would never let harm happen to any of the students in their care. “Of course I will protect them, but it has nothing to do with me being part of any pack,” he explained, standing strong.“You should just join us; then you could stop taking the potion,” Harry said. He was definitely curious to know more about Lupin now he knew they had both been bitten by Fenrir and he knew that their pack could use more people on their side at the moment.Fenrir growled angrily at the discovery that yet another werewolf in his pack was ingesting that poison, though at least this man wouldn’t be taking the even more toxic version that Harry had. It explained a lot about the man’s poor state though.“You will stop taking that potion,” Fenrir said firmly, leaving no room for negotiation.“I can’t!” Remus exclaimed, horrified by the very idea of letting his wolf roam free. Only once had he truly done that and he would never forgive himself for the consequences. “I live in a school full of children, I might hurt someone. I can’t let that happen,” he insisted.“You will spend full moons with the pack,” the Alpha went on, seemingly not interested in the protests that the professor was putting up.“Stop it!” Remus shouted. “You can’t just come in here and start demanding things from me. I don’t owe you anything; I hate what you did to me. Why would I do a single thing you say?”“You have until the end of the school year,” Fenrir told him, not interested in this man’s poor excuses. “Either you join the pack properly or we consider you an enemy. And I will not allow enemies near my pack’s pups or my mate.”“You can’t do that, I work here,” Remus argued, “you can’t just come here and…”“Professor,” Romy said hesitantly, interrupting the man’s angry ranting. “Why won’t you just join us? We’re a bit… well, crazy but we’ve never hurt anyone that didn’t deserve it,” she assured him, “and only in defence of our family. We’re good people, we look after our own. Besides Harry and Fenrir are right, the wolfsbane potion is dangerous, particularly if taken for an extended period of time.”“Running with us on the full moons would be much healthier and, no offence, sir, but you look like you could use it,” Harry said with an unapologetic shrug of his shoulders. When compared with the dominants of their pack, Remus was obviously weak and frail, probably malnourished and, in all likelihood, damaged by the wolfsbane potion.“That won’t be happening,” Remus said with a frown. He had never had any desire to join a pack, and had been grateful to have the potion to keep himself in check now that he no longer had Sirius and James to help him through the full moons. The idea of giving it up and running free was nothing short of terrifying and not something he would agree to.“Sir, you should give it a chance,” Harry said, remembering how reluctant he had been when he first joined the pack. “Fen doesn’t always ask for things the way he should,” he went on, earning a low growl of warning from Fenrir, “but he’s trying to help you.”“I don’t need help,” Remus insisted. He was sure that Harry’s intentions were good, even if Greyback’s were questionable, but that didn’t mean he was going to just accept their way of doing things; they had no right to force him to change how he lived his life.“If you’re taking the potion you kinda do,” Romy said with an apologetic smile.“You would do well to take the potion, young lady; what we are is dangerous,” Remus pointed out. He knew that at least the three young werewolves returned to their home during the full moons but that didn’t mean they weren’t still a danger to innocent people.“The potion is dangerous,” Harry argued, wriggling free of Fenrir’s tight hold of him so that he could take a couple of steps towards the professor. “You want proof of how dangerous it is?” he asked, and before Fenrir could stop him Harry had walked over to the fire and stuck his hand into the flames, asking, “Is this normal, Professor?”“Harry!” Romy and Lupin both yelled at once.Fenrir roared with fury, snatching Harry away from the flames, holding his young mate against his chest despite Harry’s attempts to get out of his grip. He couldn’t believe his precious little mate would deliberately injure himself in such a way; or in any way at all.“I’m fine, I didn’t feel a thing,” Harry said, trying to calm his mate back down from his fury. He had needed to make a point, because the professor was never going to believe that the potion was actually dangerous without evidence.“You’re not fine, little one,” Fenrir said angrily, holding Harry’s wrist and showing him his own hand, which was red and forming blisters already.“Why would you do that, Harry?” Remus asked, his heart pounding rapidly in his chest as he hurried over to one of the many cupboards in his office and pulled out a jar of ointment for burns and a bandage.“To prove I don’t feel pain,” Harry said calmly, in contrast to the three distressed werewolves that hurried to try and take care of him. That’s what the wolfsbane potion did to me. My body can’t regulate temperatures as well as it should either, my other senses were weakened too,” he told Lupin.“You can still be injured even if you don’t feel it, Harry,” Romy said with exasperation as she took the ointment from their professor and started to apply it to the Harry’s burnt hand, which was still held firmly by the wrist in Fenrir’s grip.“You should not have done that, little one,” Fenrir said, moving over and sitting in the chair behind Remus’ desk, pulling Harry into his lap.“He needs to understand though, Fen,” Harry said, without a hint of remorse for his actions, though he had to admit that it looked as though he had burnt himself quite badly.“I get it, Harry,” Remus said with a sigh. He was certainly going to have to look into the long term effects of the wolfsbane potion, particularly when taken by children and teenagers. “But I wish you hadn’t done that,” he added; the last thing he wanted was for Harry to have ended up injured and the boy’s complete calm was slightly disturbing to witness.“Stop taking the potion and I’ll promise never to do it again,” Harry tried to bargain.“You’ll never do it again anyway,” Fenrir growled angrily, pulling Harry closer into his chest and holding him there, nuzzling his nose into the messy strands of dark hair as Romy finished applying the ointment and Remus began to bandage the injured hand.Remus didn’t know what to make of the obvious affection and concern with which Greyback was handling Harry. The way the two of them interacted was tender, caring almost and it was unlike anything that Remus had ever imagined when it came to Greyback; perhaps there was more to the werewolf than what was known.“It won’t take long to heal, a day; two at most,” Remus said as he finished wrapping the bandage, looking at Harry with heavy disapproval. He didn’t think that it was a very good way to prove a point.“I know,” Harry said with a fond smile at his bandaged hand. It really didn’t bother him in the slightest, he hadn’t even felt it a little bit but it was well worth the inconvenience of a bandage and awkward questions for a few days if it stopped Remus taking the potion.“You know?” Remus questioned in surprise. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to know how Harry knew how long he was going to take to heal from these kinds of burns even with magical ointment.“He’s burnt himself before, though that time it was an accident,” Romy explained with an exasperated sigh. Harry couldn’t look her in the eye as she glared at him as she said this.“Never again,” Fenrir growled. He didn’t appreciate the reminder of the last time that Harry had burnt his hand or how it had ended for them. True their relationship had not been as developed as it was now but he still did not want to remember that particular fight that they had had.“You really care about him,” Remus said with a tone of surprise as he observed Greyback and Harry, surprised at how tender the Alpha was with the teenager. It was not something that he had suspected, in truth he had thought that Harry would be the stereotypical submissive. Beaten, abused, unhappy and mistreated; however, that did not appear to be the case with Fenrir and Harry.“He’s my mate,” the Alpha growled angrily. He didn’t understand why this was such a surprise to the other werewolf. Harry was everything to him and he would protect him and their pack above all else.“We gave each other mating marks,” Harry said, wanting to show Remus that his doubts and insecurities about them and the pack were unfounded. It was the only way that Harry could think of that would show the other werewolf how much they meant to one another.“Mating marks?” Remus asked, both horrified and fascinated; he had never seen such marks before though he had heard about them on his travels when he was looking for a cure. He was curious, though not exactly approving to hear that his fifteen year old Godson had one. “May I see?” he asked, looking between the two, wondering if it would be permitted.“You may see mine,” Fenrir said stiffly, not liking the idea that Harry would take his shirt off for anyone other than him. He certainly didn’t want his mate disrobing for this teacher that was for sure.“I don’t mind…” Harry began to say but was swiftly cut off by a stern look from Fenrir. Harry rolled his eyes, looking over to Romy, giving her a look that clearly said, ‘look what I have to put up with’ which only made the young girl smile.“No, little one,” Fenrir said sternly, as usual not bothering to elaborate on his decision making further as he didn’t think that it was required. As Alpha male he shouldn’t have had to explain himself anyway, the fact that he did on occasion for Harry was proof of his devotion to the boy. It was not an allowance he would give to anyone else.“Bossy boots,” Harry grumbled, as Fenrir shifted around a little so as to slide his leather jacket off one shoulder, all the while never relenting his hold on Harry, ensuring that he remain cuddled up to him.Remus moved around the back of the chair and shifted Fenrir’s long hair out of the way, revealing the small bite mark on the nape of the large man’s neck. Remus didn’t dare touch it, he was aware how personal these marks were and he knew that offence could be taken if he touched it, even by accident.“I’ve never heard of an Alpha letting their submissive mate mark them,” Remus said in awe, observing the couple in a whole new light. In all his travels and studies he had never heard of a submissive being permitted to mark their dominant. It was becoming clear to Remus that whatever Harry and Fenrir had between them it wasn’t exactly normal for werewolves, for wizards or for anything; it was unique to them and clearly it worked as they both seemed to be happy.“Harry is stubborn,” Fenrir said bluntly, being fully aware of how unusual it was for a dominant to be marked by a submissive, let alone an Alpha. Romy couldn’t help herself, giggling a little at this comment, knowing just how true it was and thinking that Harry wasn’t the only one in the relationship to have this trait.“Remarkable,” Remus said in amazement. “I’d very much like to see yours too, Harry, if you’d permit me to,” he said, being careful how he worded his request, being well aware that Fenrir wasn’t going to like the idea.Fenrir predictably growled in warning, but Harry, who was clearly used to the over protective nature of his mate, turned around on the Alpha wolf’s lap and placed a kiss against his lips. While Fenrir was distracted Harry pulled down the neck of his jumper with his uninjured hand. “See, not exposing myself to anyone,” he said with a grin as he pulled back from the kiss.Fenrir gave a rather stern look to his mate as Remus carefully examined the mating mark on Harry’s neck, being careful not to touch the teenager at all. “Your body, everything it is mine,” the Alpha said possessively; Harry just smiled sweetly at him.“Actually, I am pretty sure it is mine,” Harry corrected before grinning and adding, “but I let you use it for recreational purposes.” Romy snorted in amusement at that and the professor looked rather shocked. That was one thing he didn’t want to think about; he didn’t want to know one way or the other if Harry was having sex with this man.Fenrir, however, was not to be dissuaded. “Mine,” the Alpha repeated, pulling Harry close to him and giving a small, affectionate nip to the mating mark, sending a tingle of pleasure down Harry’s spine. Remus got the hint and took a step back; clearly he was being told that he was done examining the marks. Romy was watching him carefully, not saying a word, far too accustomed to seeing the Alpha pair in such affectionate embraces. It was the way the professor reacted to them that interested her.“And he calls me stubborn,” Harry said turning to share a smile with Romy, allowing Fenrir to continue nuzzling into neck. He knew that any attempt to stop his mate would be fruitless and it wasn’t as though he minded.“You’re both as stubborn as each other,” Romy said with a giggle, smiling at the Alpha pair with affection. “We should probably get going though, Harry.” She didn’t exactly want to be the one to tell the Alpha to leave but if she didn’t suggest it then Fenrir was never going to leave. She wasn’t surprised to hear a growl of annoyance from Fenrir, though it was muffled a little against Harry’s neck, which she was sure was going to bear a new hickie by the time the Alpha was done.“She’s right, Fen,” Harry said sadly, cuddling in closer to his mate; Fenrir burying his nose in Harry’s hair and inhaling his scent. “You can’t stay here, as much as I wish you could. You have seen me and you will see me again soon, but you should probably go home.”“I’ll keep an eye on Harry,” Remus promised, he had been intending to do so anyway, but if it helped get Greyback out of his office then he would repeat it until he was blue in the face. “I will keep an eye on all three of them, protect them.”“They are currently the only pups my pack has,” Fenrir said, looking up from nuzzling his mate to make eye contact with Remus, his tone serious as he stated this fact.“I understand, they are precious to you,” Remus said seriously. He might have not believed that Greyback would care about three teenagers, but having seen him with Harry and Romy, there was no doubting it. “Though I do have one question before you go,” he said and Fenrir nodded his head, though he did so with impatience. “Is Romy your daughter?”Romy looked to Fenrir and burst out laughing. The Alpha looked confused and Harry buried his head in his mate’s neck as he chuckled in amusement. “No, my Dad is the pack Beta,” she explained before Fenrir could reply.“And Clayton?” Remus asked, in hopes of better understanding the pack dynamics.“Really is my cousin,” Romy told the professor, still trying to rein in her amusement. “He’s my Uncle’s son. Clay’s Dad and my Mum are siblings. Though, we are both adopted.”“Enough family history lessons,” Fenrir grunted. “You’ll learn this when you come to the pack.” He wasn’t about to sit here and listen to Romy recount the details of their family to this man, even if he was one of them.“If I come,” Remus amended. He had no intention of actually agreeing to joining them, even if Greyback was determined to have it be otherwise.“You’ll come,” Fenrir stated dismissively.“Believe what you will,” Remus said, realising that he wasn’t going to persuade the Alpha wolf otherwise and his priority really need to be getting Greyback out of his office. “Look, I really think you need to leave.”“Please, Fen, don’t make a big thing of this,” Harry begged. “You’ll get to see me soon. Hogsmeade remember,” he added in a whisper. “One week,” Harry told him, “just one week and we can be together again.”“Keep him safe,” Fenrir said firmly to Remus as he got back to his feet, letting Harry stand up as well, but keeping him within the circle of his arms.“Of course,” Remus said as Romy came forward and linked her hand with Harry’s, seeing how much he was struggling to let go of his mate.“I won’t leave him either Alpha, promise,” she said, smiling at the large alpha male, trying to look and sound reassuring.“Clayton will be punished for his actions,” Fenrir reminded them. The pup might have avoided his punishment on this one occasion but the Alpha would not forget that he had hurt Harry, and would deal with Clayton as soon as possible.“He knows,” Romy said, not looking too happy with this but knowing it was inevitable.“I still don’t think that’s fair, I threw the first punch,” Harry grumbled before he found Fenrir’s lips pressed against his, silencing him.“No more fights,” Fenrir instructed before finally letting Harry go, raising his mate’s injured hand to his mouth and placing a kiss there too, adding, “and no more injuries,” before stepping toward the fireplace.“I’ll do my best, Wolfie,” Harry assured his dominant mate, going up on his toes to steal another quick kiss, before Fenrir took floo powder from the pot above the fireplace and threw it into the flames. Harry leaned against Romy’s side as he watched his mate disappear in the green flames.He wasn’t strong enough to stop the tears that welled up at the sight of Fenrir leaving, but he kept reminding himself that it was only a week, seven days and then they could see each other again, even if it was only for a short time.FGHPClay had been seriously second guessing his decision to leave as soon as he had exited professor Lupin’s office, but the moment that Romy had told him that Fenrir had come through he knew it had been the right choice; even with the promise of the Alpha’s punishment to come.Harry had obviously not felt much like talking after watching his mate leave, and so Romy told Clayton about how Fenrir had come through, pronounced that he was Lupin’s sire, demanded the man join the pack. She also eventually got around to explaining Harry’s bandaged hand, despite that having been Clayton’s first question when he had rejoined them; Romy had, of course, insisted on catching him up with all that had happened in chronological order.After a few rather hectic days, they all had a lot on their minds and so they were quiet as they headed to bed that evening; Clayton was just glad that neither Harry nor Romy seemed to mind when he followed them into the dorm and joined them in the small single bed. He had been a little worried that he might not be welcomed with open arms as he usually was.FGHPThe next day was Sunday, and Clay had been hopeful that Harry would have had been talking to him again that morning but the three of them went to breakfast without speaking more than a few words to each other. It was an easy silence but Clayton still didn’t find it very comfortable and had to resist the urge to ask Harry how much more time he would need before they would be okay again; he only managed to hold his tongue because he suspected that question would do nothing to expedite the process.Harry looked upset and lost in thought, Clayton observed, and he wondered whether it was more the loss of Fenrir again or the new knowledge about Lupin that was playing on his mind. Romy seemed content to keep her nose buried in a book about modern wizarding history and therefore not get involved in the uneasy tension between her two pack brothers.It wasn’t until just after lunch that Romy turned her attention from the book back to the two of them. “I think I am going to agree to see Jennifer,” she said, leaving both Harry and Clayton slightly confused as to what she meant and where this sudden announcement had come from. “My biological mother,” she explained. “I have been thinking about it and I want to give her one last chance.”Clay frowned at that; he was strongly of the opinion that that awful woman had had far more than her fair share of chances. He would have been happy to hear that Romy never wanted to see or hear from any of those terrible people again but knowing that this was what she wanted was difficult because he wouldn’t deny her anything if he could avoid it.“Of course, if you’re sure,” Harry said, reaching out to squeeze Romy’s hand. “We’ll support whatever you decide,” he told her and Clay nodded his fervent agreement at this, though he was a little more hesitant to agree to this when he thought it might put Romy in danger and he was sure that it would.“I wish you would just stay away from them,” Clay told her honestly. “BUT,” he went on, before either Harry or Romy could protest, “I agree with Harry, we’ll support you and whatever choice you make.”“Thanks,” she said, looking between the two of them with uncertainty. “I’m going to go write a letter to her now. Can I trust you two not to make any attempts on each other’s lives while I’m gone?”“We’ll be fine,” Harry said with a roll of his eyes. “I promise not to kick his arse… again,” he added, giving Clayton a somewhat wry smile. He wasn’t angry with his friend, despite what Clay had said Harry had thrown the first punch, it had all been in the heat of the moment too and they had both done things that they regretted. Also, Clayton was the one who would have to face the wrath of the Alpha, which was bad enough.The uneasiness between the two of them had nothing to do with resentment or anger, Harry just didn’t feel entirely comfortable around his best friend again yet. He still loved him, that would never change no matter what happened between them; but, after everything that had happened, Harry was just feeling unsettled in general, it really had very little to do with Clay and their fight.“I feel so reassured,” Romy said sarcastically as she got up. “Please behave, I’ll be back in half an hour or so.”“You sure you don’t want me to come with you?” Clay offered, not sure about her wandering the castle alone. He wasn’t convinced that any of them should be alone right now, with the punishment from the Alpha looming over him; Clayton didn’t want to let anything else happen to either of them.“I think I can manage to write and send one letter, Clayton,” Romy insisted with a sweet smile to her cousin, finding it rather sweet that he was so determined to protect her. “You stay here with Harry.”“It’s okay, I’ll go with her,” Draco said getting to his feet before Romy could protest, like she seemed to be about to. “I have a letter I want to send to my mother anyway,” he explained and Romy’s mouth snapped shut and she nodded that this would be fine. She wasn’t exactly opposed to Draco keeping her company after all.“Thanks,” Harry said earnestly, glad to know that his pack sister wouldn’t be left quite so vulnerable, but Clay scowled; he certainly wasn’t pleased to see how easily Romy accepted Draco’s closeness as the two of them headed out of the common room. In his opinion the two of them were walking far too close together and he didn’t like it. Romy was his and nothing was ever going to change that.“It doesn’t matter how much you glare at them, they’re still leaving together,” Harry said with a hint of amusement to his voice.“Do you think she likes him?” Clayton asked, trying not to sound too upset about this fact as Romy and Draco finally went out of their eye line. Harry, however, was not fooled by his front, he was also rather glad that Clayton had worded it the way he had.“I don’t know how she feels about him,” Harry said, picking his words carefully so that he didn’t have to lie to his friend. He knew how she felt about Clay, he knew how Draco felt about Romy too but everything else was a mystery to him.“I’m bored and if we sit here much longer I’m going to end up going after them just to make sure Draco keeps his hands to himself,” Clayton said suddenly. “Let’s do something,” he said decisively. Harry, however, did not look convinced that this was a great idea.“What were you thinking?” Harry asked sceptically. He had been rather content sitting in the common room in front of the fire, reading over some of Clay’s homework to make sure that he was passing his classes; gallivanting around the castle didn’t seem to be a great idea at all right now, not with his head in so much of a muddle.“I haven’t had brownies in ages!” Clayton said with a frown, trying to remember when the last time he had had brownies was. The fact that he couldn’t seem to remember didn’t bode well and it spurred on a huge craving for their gooey chocolaty goodness.“You had brownies a few days ago,” Harry said with a sigh, giving Clayton a rather disparaging look. It felt nice to be bantering like this again after their fight; the whole weekend had been a little uneasy and it seemed that now things were starting to get back on track, at least they were heading in that direction.“But I really, really want brownies,” Clayton whinged, looking up at Harry pleadingly, as if he were a toddler begging his mother for sweets.“You always want brownies” Harry said dismissively, though he knew that he would cave eventually. Brownies actually sounded amazing; he could really use the sugar rush considering how much he was missing Fenrir right now. Chocolate always made him feel better.“The only thing I want more than brownies is Romy,” Clayton told his friend seriously. Harry couldn’t help but smile at this self evaluation as it summed Clay up perfectly.“And time with me; you know, your best friend,” Harry added with a grin. He didn’t actually have any doubts about his importance in Clay’s life but, given everything that had happened between them the last few days, he wanted the confirmation of it.“Hmmm,” Clayton considered for a moment. “I think you and brownies rank about equal,” he decided, giving a decisive nod, wearing an expression of such seriousness that Harry knew he was teasing… mostly.“HEY!” Harry protested, but he couldn’t help himself from laughing. “You know if I go with you to get the brownies instead of letting you go running off on your own I think I should rank higher than brownies.”“Okay, fine,” Clay admitted grudgingly. He couldn’t help but smile though, enjoying getting to joke with Harry again. “You rank higher than brownies, but only just,” he told his friend. Of course, brownies with Harry would be even better.“Come on then,” Harry said putting down the parchment that contained Clayton’s Herbology essay, which he had been reading over and correcting. “Let’s go and get you brownies before your head explodes from lack of sugar.”“Can that actually happen?” Clay asked, an exaggeratedly panicked look on his face as he got up and headed for the door out of the common room.“No, Clay, it can’t,” Harry said with a roll of his eyes and a smile on his lips as he joined his friend. Clay might have been a complete arse sometimes, but he still was, and always would be his best friend.FGHP“So what should we do this evening?” Clay asked as he took a second helping of sausages from the plate in the middle of the table at dinner on Monday evening. Romy was already finished her dinner and was once again occupying herself, while waiting for her pack brothers, by reading.“You have detention again,” Romy reminded him from behind the pages of the large book she was supporting. It was amazing that she had been able to carry the thing down from the library at all but whatever the pages contained seemed to have fascinated her enough that the effort of carrying it around was worth it.“What? Why?” Harry asked; he had been unaware that Clayton had another detention. Things were improving between them, especially after their trip to the kitchen on their mission to find brownies the previous day but he couldn’t believe that he hadn’t known about this.“Umbridge caught me skateboarding down the corridors again,” Clayton grumbled unhappily. He had put the silencing spell on the wheels of his skateboard and everything but the odious woman had still caught him in the act and sentenced him with another detention, which meant the damn blood quill again.“Clay!” Harry said disapprovingly with a frown, though it was half hearted disapproval at best. He was currently focusing on not eating his dinner and trying to hide this fact from his friends. He didn’t want a lecture from them, nor did he want them telling tales on him to Fenrir. He just wasn’t feeling great and every time he tried to eat it made him feel worse.“Want to go to the library and work on our homework?” Romy asked, looking over the top of her large book to Harry, thinking that it would be nice to get a group of them and sit and study. It wasn’t often that they got the chance; Clayton often got bored and needed to be entertained, which didn’t really allow for productive study time.“I can’t actually. I have to go and see Professor Lupin,” Harry told them, finally giving up on pushing his food around his plate, instead dropping his fork and pushing his plate away. This initiated a frown from Romy though she decided not to pass comment on how little he had eaten.“You’re not eating very much,” Clay observed with a look of concern. “I thought you loved sausage,” he added with a devious smile as he helped himself to another two sausages from the dish in the middle of the table.“Well for someone who doesn’t like sausage you’re eating an awful lot,” Harry bit back. He didn’t want to justify why he wasn’t eating and even though Clayton had meant it as a joke it wasn’t what he was in the mood for right now. Sex jokes when he was missing his mate this badly were, in his opinion, in very poor taste.“You know that stealing the title of Grumpy Pants from your boyfriend isn’t actually going to make you miss him any less,” Clay said, stabbing his fork into his dinner; he really had just meant it as a joke.“Anyway, before you two start arguing again, how come you have to go and see Professor Lupin tonight?” Romy asked, genuinely curious. Harry hadn’t told them that he would be meeting with Professor Lupin and after the events of Saturday she thought that this might have been something that he would have shared with them.“I said I would, we were going to talk and after Saturday I think we have a lot to talk about,” Harry told them with a shrug. He honestly didn’t think that it was that important, though judging by the way Clay and Romy were looking at him this clearly was not a mutual feeling.“I’ll come with you then,” Romy said, not wanting Harry to go anywhere alone. Whenever he was left to his own devices he seemed to get himself into trouble. Seeing as Clayton was in detention for the evening, it fell to her to make sure that Harry wasn’t doing anything reckless or dangerous.“No,” Harry said rather quickly, “I want to talk to him on my own. He might be more open to discussing things with me if I’m alone,” he explained, though the explanation made Romy frown a little. She really didn’t like the idea of Harry going anywhere on his own; no matter what logic there was behind it. Clayton too was looking less than pleased with the decision.“I’m not sure…” Clay said before stuffing in a mouthful of sausage, ignoring the small piles of carrots and cabbage that Romy had insisted he should have as well.“I am, I’ll be fine,” Harry insisted, finding Clay’s protective streak rather wearing in his current mood. “Fenrir is trying to bring Lupin into the pack; I don’t think he’s a danger to me,” he added when Clay looked far from convinced.“But Romy will be on her own!” Clayton exclaimed with annoyance.“I think I can take care of myself for a few hours,” Romy told him with an exasperated shake of her head. “Besides, I’m sure Draco and Astoria will be around,” she added. She was certain that nothing would happen but she didn’t want Clay to be worried.This didn’t seem to reassure him as she had intended though because he frowned. “Let me rephrase,” Clay said, “Romy won’t have either of us with her!”“Harry’s right, you are an arse sometimes, Clayton,” Romy said with a roll of her eyes. “I go to lessons on my own most days, if you hadn’t noticed, and yet no one has given me any trouble. I’ll be fine and if you want to play bodyguard then don’t get detention next time,” she told him before turning to Harry. “Be careful,” she said sternly before getting to her feet and walking away; Clay stared after her in surprise but Harry looked really quite amused.“It probably says something about me that that just made me more attracted to her,” Clay said quietly to himself as he watched her leave, before turning to Harry. “Do you think it would be justified to skip detention and go after her?” he asked.“If it was with any other teacher I’d say you could risk it,” Harry told him, “but not with Umbridge. There is something wrong in the head with that woman,” he added, glancing up at the teachers table at the front of the Hall.“You don’t have to tell me that,” Clay agreed somewhat bitterly; he had enough proof of that woman’s sadistic tendencies carved into the back of his hand, hidden under a glamour. “Okay, I’ll do the stupid detention.”“And I will see you later,” Harry said with a smirk to his friend. “Try not to get into too much more trouble, please,” he pleaded, thinking that Clayton could do with a week or so of avoiding anything related to trouble.“It’s not like I want these stupid detentions,” Clay pointed out, still sounding extremely bitter about the fact that he had got the detention at all.“I didn’t think you did, so how about, instead, try not to get caught?” Harry suggested hopefully as he got to his feet. He flung his book bag over his shoulder, deciding that since it was so heavy he would be dropping it off in the dormitory before he went to see Professor Lupin.“I’ll try,” Clayton said as he spotted Draco and a few of the other Slytherins coming into the Great Hall. It seemed that they were running a little late this evening.“See you later,” Harry said, bidding Clayton a farewell before heading for the exit, waving at Draco and the other Slytherins as he passed them.FGHPAfter dropping his bag off in the Slytherin dormitories, Harry headed up to Professor Lupin’s office. He wasn’t sure how he was feeling about the meeting; anxious, nervous and even a little nauseous crossed his mind as he knocked on the door.“Come in,” he heard the professor say.Somewhat hesitantly Harry opened the door to enter, though he was momentarily taken aback when there was still the faint trace of Fenrir’s scent still remaining in the room from Saturday. He stalled, taking a deep breath and savouring it, reminding himself that he only had five more sleeps until he could see his mate again.“Harry,” Lupin greeted, sounding a little surprised as he stood up behind his desk at the sight of the young werewolf. “I wasn’t sure you would still show up,” he admitted, gesturing for Harry to take one of the seats on the other side of his desk.“I figured we probably have even more to talk about now,” Harry said with a shrug as he sat down in one of the proffered chairs.“I suppose you’re right,” Lupin agreed, sitting back down and watching Harry curiously, “though I admit to not quite knowing where to start.”“Did you know that it was Fen that bit you?” Harry asked, deciding that he would simply start with that. There was a lot that he wanted to get out and there was no use wasting time.“Yes, I knew; though I haven’t seen him at all since then,” Remus said, fairly glad that it had been Harry to launch the first of the questions. He really wasn’t sure where he would have begun with the many things that he wanted to ask the young man. Many of them would have to come in time but neither of them would be ready to hear them just yet.Harry considered the answer he had been given for a minute. “But you know of him, you’ve heard all the stories that people tell?” he asked finally, picking his words with care.“I have, but I am starting to think that, as with most things, the truth is more complicated than it first appears,” Remus responded; he too was picking his words with care. The fragile relationship that they had managed to erect was delicate and he didn’t want to destroy it before it really had a chance.“He isn’t a bad person,” Harry stated rather firmly, giving the Professor a rather pointed look as he said this. He wouldn’t have anyone thinking of his mate as a bad person because he really wasn’t, he was simply misunderstood.“Maybe not, but he is still dangerous; he has still hurt people, me included. I never wanted to be bitten, to be a werewolf, but I wasn’t given any choice in that,” Remus said gently. He didn’t think that Harry was deluded when it came to his mate, simply besotted and in lust, something that was clouding his judgement of the man.“I wasn’t given a choice either,” Harry told him. “I wasn’t even two years old when Fen bit me.” He didn’t want to sound as if he was unhappy because he really wasn’t, he didn’t hate Fenrir for what he had done. Sometimes he did wonder how his life would be different if he hadn’t been bitten but it wasn’t something he could change and for that reason hadn’t kept it in his thoughts for long.“He was the one who bit you? When you were just a baby?” Lupin asked, a horrified expression on his face. He had known that Harry must have been young when he was turned but he hadn’t envisioned it being quite that young; that meant that it hadn’t been long after James and Lily’s deaths.“Yes, my Dad raised me after that,” Harry told him. “He used to give me this advanced version of the wolfsbane potion, which he developed himself. Of course neither of us knew what it was doing to me,” he added, not wanting Lupin to think badly of his Dad either. “He only wanted to keep me safe and make sure I didn’t hurt anyone; I don’t think he would have given it to me if he knew the damage it did.”“He created a new version of the wolfsbane potion?” Remus asked curiously. He had asked Snape if it was possible, the potions master had said that he would look into it. When Remus hadn’t heard from him he had simply assumed that it was impossible and hadn’t pursued the matter further. Not much later Snape had gone missing and the Potters were reported dead.“Yeah, I took the potion most of my life, but I am much better off and happier without it now,” Harry said, speaking the truth. He had been so determined to keep taking it when he had first come to the pack, something that had been hurting him and by extension those around him too.“Don’t you worry about who you might end up biting,” Remus asked, studying Harry carefully as he asked this.“No,” Harry stated quite simply.“Harry…” Remus said, not really liking the answer that the teenager had given, worried that Harry was just callously dismissing those who could get hurt.“No-one gets hurt or bitten or anything like that,” Harry assured him, understanding the professor’s concerns. “We transform together as a pack, we hunt together, we eat together and then cuddle up and sleep together. I used to be scared of spending the full moons free like that too, but it is so much better, I promise.”“You shouldn’t make promises like that, Harry, they’re promises that you can’t keep,” Remus said with a sad sigh; it was almost painful for him to see how much like James Harry was.“But I know I could keep it. Fenrir is a great Alpha, none of us have ever hurt anyone during the full moons and you wouldn’t either. Just please don’t take the potion any more, Sir; it’s not good,” Harry said, not wanting another werewolf to end up like him, unable to feel pain, senses defective.“Aside from not feeling pain,” Remus said, motioning to the bandaged hand, “what other side effects have there been?”“My body can’t regulate my body temperature properly, it takes me longer to heal from injuries, my sense of smell is nothing like as good as it should be,” Harry listed off, watching the professor for his reaction. “And those first few transformations after I stopped taking it were pure agony, the only pain I can ever remember feeling.”“I see…” Remus said as he mused over the answer he had been given. It was something he would have to look into more deeply, though for that he was going to have to take a look at the potion too and he didn’t think that Harry was going to be very open discussing the ingredients with him seeing as he was so against it.“You really shouldn’t take it, sir. Give the pack a chance,” Harry requested.“You seem to be happy in the pack,” Remus said; the teenager certainly looked well cared for and healthy. Aside from the fading marks on his neck that was, where Fenrir had made his claim on the boy very clear.“I am, mostly,” Harry said honestly. There was no use lying to the Professor, the point was to get him to join the pack and it wasn’t always perfect there but they were a family and they made it work.“Mostly?” Remus questioned, wondering why it was only most of the time that he was happy with his pack.“I miss my Dad. It’s difficult being without him all of a sudden but I love being in the pack, they’re my family and Fen… well, I love him,” Harry said, adopting a goofy smile on his face as he admitted his feelings towards the Alpha male.“Harry…” Remus said hesitantly, leaning forward on his desk slightly. “I hate to ask this, but … Are you having sex with him?”“I don’t see how that is any of your business,” Harry said, offended and a little horrified that the Professor would ask him this.“I am simply concerned for you; Fenrir is an older man after all, more experienced than you and you are so young...” Remus responded quickly, realising that he had caused offence and wanting to rectify the situation.“I’m not going to discuss this with you,” Harry said stubbornly. Remus was still far too close to Dumbledore to trust the man with the truth given what the headmaster had threatened when he had simply seen him kiss Fenrir.“Very well, just at least tell me that you are taking proper… precautions,” Remus said, forcing himself to speak the words for Harry’s sake; he might not have felt comfortable with the conversation but it was better than having Harry taking unnecessary risks. “A submissive werewolf, such as yourself, can get pregnant you know and you are so young...” he rambled off quickly.“I know,” Harry interrupted. Of course he hadn’t known the first time and he was kind of touched that this almost stranger had taken the care to make sure he was informed, but that didn’t dim his annoyance at Lupin’s meddling in his private life. “Yes, we’re taking precautions,” he said quietly, thinking he could at least set the professor’s mind at ease on that front.“Oh, well that’s… good,” Lupin said unconvincingly. He wasn’t at all pleased at the confirmation that Harry was involved in such activities at all, let alone with Fenrir Greyback; though he was rather relieved to hear that not only did Harry know the risks but was taking measures against them.Neither of them really knew what to say after that and there was a tense atmosphere in the office, Harry fiddling with the sleeve of his jumper as Remus went between watching him and a patch of bare stone wall.“Did you really know my Mum?” Harry asked quietly after a few minutes, his eyes downcast. The only things he knew about her were the few things that his Dad had told him over the years and he was curious to speak to someone else who knew her; hopefully someone who wasn’t made biased by being in love with her. As much as he had always loved listening to his Dad talk about her, he wanted to hear about who she really was.“I did,” Remus said with a fond smile. “She was a wonderful woman; Lily had the kindest soul I have ever had the pleasure to meet.” It was still sometimes hard to believe she and James were gone; it felt like an age and yet no time at all since their deaths, and it was still painful to think about. He was just counting it as a wonderful blessing that he had Harry back in his life again.“Will you tell me about her?” Harry asked uncertainly; he had heard occasional stories about his mother from his Dad, but it always seemed to make his father so sad, and so Harry didn’t ask as much as he sometimes wanted to. Besides, he thought it would be nice to hear an alternative opinion on her.“Didn’t Severus talk about her?” Remus asked, worried that Harry had been not only denied the truth about James, but about Lily as well. He knew that the teenager wasn’t ready to face the hard truths about who Severus really was to him, but he hadn’t thought that the potion master would have lied about Lily as well.“He did,” Harry confirmed, thinking about the picture of his mother that was one of his Dad’s most prized possessions, “but I could always tell that it hurt him a lot. I think it was painful to talk about her; he loved her a lot,” he said. He had seen the way his Dad had looked at that picture, heard the way he spoke about her.“I suppose he did in a way,” Remus said with a sigh. He was sure that Severus had taken Harry out of love for Lily, that was proof of how the man felt about her if nothing else, but it was James that Lily had married and created Harry with. It was difficult to hold back and not try to force Harry into listening to truths he wasn’t ready to hear; he couldn’t do that to Harry, not even in honour of Lily and James’ memories.“In a way?” Harry asked with a frown, wondering if Remus was going to start bad mouthing Severus now. Things were going well, he thought, but he wouldn’t sit there and listen to barbed comments about his Dad.“It was a complicated relationship and perhaps the discussion of it would be better saved for another day,” Remus suggested, “when we have a bit more time. Perhaps you could tell me more about living in the pack,” he added, wanting to get away from the dangerous topic before one of them said something that they regretted.“The pack is family,” Harry told him, always happy to talk about the most important people in his life now. “We’re weird and completely random but we’re happy and we care about each other,” he went on, pride evident in his voice; he loved that they were such a strange group of individuals. “I was serious when I said you should think about joining us; Fenrir won’t take lightly to you refusing.”“He genuinely seems to care about you,” Remus said, hoping that he had managed to keep the surprise from his voice. He hadn’t expected for Harry to actually be in a relationship with the Alpha wolf but that Greyback was genuinely affectionate with Harry was perhaps even more of a surprise. And, from the way that Harry was acting, it didn’t seem like it was unusual behaviour or anything of the like.“I like to think that he does,” Harry said thoughtfully. He was still a little conflicted about some things, but he knew that he was of importance to the Alpha at least. “I’ve read some bad stuff about him and people have said things and I know that partly it’s true but he isn’t like that; he’s a good man.”He knew many of the things that Fenrir had done in his past, the fear that even his name created, and it was difficult to correlate that with the man that he had had in his office earlier. “You have a lot of faith in him,” Remus observed. He wanted to believe that Harry’s faith in the legendary Alpha wolf was well placed, but he just wasn’t quite sure what to think, in all honesty.“I do,” Harry confirmed. “So will you join the pack?” he asked, curious as to what the professor was thinking in regards to the offer now that he knew a little more.Remus frowned. “I’m not sure…” he said, a thoughtful expression on his face. He was torn; while had never had any desire to join a pack, and certainly not one run by Greyback, it was the pack where Harry lived and it would mean being able to spend a lot more time with Harry. But his fears of what might happen were still winning out for the moment.“Why?” Harry asked; he remembered his own uncertainties when Damon had first brought him to the pack, emotions that he found difficult to untangle from his grief over what he had then believed to be the death of his father. Even now, knowing that Severus was alive somewhere, it was painful to recall; but the one thing he didn’t regret was joining the pack.“Because I still believe that what we are is dangerous and shouldn’t be allowed to run free,” Remus said a little impatiently. It was frustrating and worrying that Harry and the other pack members seemed to blasé about the whole issue.“Have you at least stopped taking the potion?” Harry asked the professor.“Harry…” Remus said with a sigh; he knew that Harry believed that he was trying to help but it wasn’t as simple as the teenager seemed to believe.“Do I have to stick my hand in the fire again?” Harry questioned a little angrily; he had deliberately injured himself, distressing his mate and pack sister in the process, to make this man see his point and Lupin was still choosing to put that poison in his body.“No, I fully understand the repercussions of the potion you were taking,” Remus said hastily, worried that Harry might actually injure himself again. “But it was a more extreme version of what I am currently taking,” he tried to explain. “What happened to you won’t happen to me.”“Are you sure about that, Sir?” Harry asked tersely, giving the professor a pointed look. He certainly wouldn’t risk taking any version of the wolfsbane potion now he knew what it could do.Remus sighed. Truthfully, he wasn’t certain, but it was what he believed. “I can still feel pain,” he assured the teenager. “I am not aware of my senses being any less than what they should be as a human man.”“But you’re not human, you’re a werewolf,” Harry reminded him impatiently. He had feared the werewolf part of himself for most of his life, but he had never denied it like Lupin was seemingly trying to, and now that he had really come to terms with what he was, hearing that kind of attitude just felt wrong.“I am more of a human than I am a wolf,” Remus told him. Harry couldn’t deny that that was true, at least while the professor was fighting so hard against the truth of what was in his blood; but it was always going to be a lie, a half life, a struggle for him. “Our wolf state is only once a month,” the professor said, trying to help Harry see that Greyback’s way wasn’t the only way.“It’s more than that though,” Harry said earnestly. “Being in a pack, living outside of stone walls… it’s exhilarating…” he told him excitedly, remembering fondly what it was like to really live in the clearing with their own. “Being a werewolf is more than just transforming once a month.”While living in Ingleton he had never realised why he felt so out of place. It had only been when he had come to the clearing that he had realising that it was the walls surrounding him, containing him, that had been making him feel so uneasy. He hadn’t even realised that there was anything really wrong at all until he had experienced the alternative.“I don’t agree, it is a condition that we contracted,” Remus said sadly. He always mourned what Greyback had stolen from him when he was just a child; he could have had a normal life, a full life, but now he spent it will constant fear hanging over him.“Then how do you explain those born with it?” Harry asked. He was curious as to how Remus would explain away natural born werewolves if he believed that what they were was a disease, something nothing more special than the common cold. Harry was aware that if he and Fenrir were ever lucky enough, or in fact ever ready, to have children then they would be werewolves. He didn’t think that they would be diseased at all; he didn’t want to think of his potential future children being diseased.“There are born werewolves in your pack?” Remus asked curiously. The dynamics and the members of the pack that Harry called family were fascinating to him and to know that there were born wolves there, not only bitten ones, it was truly amazing to him.“Yes, three of us,” Harry said truthfully. Only Jenson, Micha and Tessie had been born werewolves, but the rest of them had been turned as children; Romy had been oldest when she was bitten and she had only been eleven. It was just normal to them. There was no reason to lie to the Professor about this, after all he would likely be joining them soon. Harry didn’t think that Lupin was stupid and he would have to be to turn Fenrir down on his offer. Being with a pack meant family, meant security, and it meant companionship, as well as protection.“You’re very knowledgeable, I’m impressed,” Remus said earnestly. James and Lily were both intelligent, but it was clear that Harry had been well educated. “Even your teachers, who do not appreciate your disregard for the rules, are saying that your magical education is exceptional; you are a remarkable young man, Harry.”“I am who I am because of my Dad,” Harry told him; he wanted to make sure that anyone who would listen to him, knew how great his Dad had been and how happy they had been together as father and son. He hated that people thought that he had been kidnapped, that he had had an awful childhood.“He did a good job in raising you, I commend him for that,” Remus said truthfully. He had been doubtful in the beginning but he couldn’t deny that but seeing the young man sat before him now… it was remarkable.“Thank you,” Harry said with a genuine smile. He didn’t really know what else to say, but he was grateful. Not many people thought well of his Dad and it was nice to know that someone did. Harry was starting to like Remus Lupin.“What for?” Remus asked, a little confused as to why he was being thanked.“When people talk about my Dad… they usually think badly of him, they say that he kidnapped me and that what he did was wrong. You’re the first person to see that I was happy with him, I had a great life with him and I miss him so much,” Harry confided.“I will be honest with you Harry, Severus and I didn’t always see eye to eye,” Remus said with a wry smile, “but even I can see that you are a strong and confident young man. You did not get that way on your own,” he added. He was fairly certain that Harry would not have had the chance to grow and learn the way he had, if he had been left in the care of Lily’s sister as had been Dumbledore had apparently intended.Harry frowned in thought. “When you say you didn’t see eye to eye…?” he questioned curiously.“It simply means that we weren’t friends,” Remus explained, hoping that Harry wouldn’t ask for more information; he doubted hearing that Severus had been somewhat tormented by his friends would be beneficial to their tentative relationship at the moment. “It does not mean that I did not admire him for his intellect or his strength,” he added.“You were friends with my mother though,” Harry reiterated, and Remus nodded in confirmation. “I never knew her; she died when I was a baby.” There was a hint of sadness in his voice, something that Remus didn’t miss. Harry had always been affected by the fact that he had never been given the chance to know his mother and that his father had always been so upset when talking about her that he couldn’t ask many questions.“I know that,” Remus said sadly. “As I said, she was a wonderful person. Your mother was compassionate and sweet; she saw the good in everyone even when there wasn’t much good to see.”“I mustn’t seem very like her at all,” Harry said, again his voice was sad. He had liked to think that he was a lot like her; it hadn’t escaped his notice that he wasn’t hugely like his Dad.“On the contrary,” Remus said almost happily. “I see her in you more than you know,” he told him. It delighted him to see bits of Lily and James shining through in Harry, be that in the way he looked or spoke or acted; it was, of course, bitter sweet, reminding him of what had been lost, but also like they weren’t completely gone.“I think that was a compliment,” Harry said with an uncertain smile.Remus chuckled. “It was,” he assured him. “Though I think perhaps I have taken up enough of your time this evening. Perhaps we can do this again next week? It really has been an honour and a pleasure talking to you,” he said hopefully.“Next week sounds… good,” Harry replied, a tone of surprise in his voice; he had half expected to walk away from their meeting with a resolution to never speak to the man again, but he found that Professor Lupin was a rather likeable guy. Though, he still was wary in his optimism.“I know you have a lot of questions, Harry,” Remus said, knowing that he had more questions of his own. “I will answer them all,” he promised, “but it will do no good to overload yourself with information all in one go.” He knew it would take time for them to get to know each other and he didn’t want to risk losing Harry in his life by pushing for too much, too fast.“I know, thank you, Sir,” Harry said. The professor had been surprisingly open and genuine with him so far, and so he didn’t doubt that he would get to hear more about his parents in time, but even with the little they had talked about he felt like he had a lot to process.“You’re very welcome,” Remus said with a genuine smile. It was a shame that in that moment he thought of Sirius, his ex-lover, who would be so envious of the close contact that he had with Harry right now. It pained him a little to think of his old friend, alone and depressed in his old family home while he was here with Harry but it really couldn’t be helped.“I’m still going to try and convince you about joining the pack you know,” Harry said with a confident smirk, breaking Remus from his rather dangerous train of thought. He turned his attention back fully to the confident teenager in front of him.“I look forward to it,” Remus said with a happy smile. “I will see you soon,” he said with a nod as Harry turned to leave.“Good night,” Harry said with a small wave, heading for the door, thinking that it would be nice to go and curl up in bed with Clayton and Romy, just to have cuddles under the Alpha blanket and think of home.“Good night, Harry,” Remus said to Harry’s back as he left. He was still struggling to come to terms with how fortunate he was that Harry was giving him the time of day. He knew that Fenrir Greyback was a huge part of the reason that Harry was indulging this need for conversation but Remus figured that the infamous werewolf owed him. Though, he still wasn’t convinced about joining the pack or ceasing his intake of the wolfsbane potion; both were matters that were going to take some serious thought.Do take a moment to leave us your thoughts. It would mean a great deal to us and help us get through the next few stressful weeks.
Review responses:
Littlepanther – Fenrir certainly goes a little bit Alpha on him, but I think Remus shows a great deal of strength and conviction in this chapter; they both really care about Harry when it comes down to it.
Sara – I hope you like how the conversation went. We are starting to get to see a bit more of Remus making choices for himself here, making up his own mind more and more, and acting in what he believes is best for Harry. That has always been his intention really, but now he is just more informed.
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