• 1-And So It Begins
• 2-The Letter Explains
• 3-Two Lumps of Coal
• 4-Christmas Pudding
• 5-Civil Conversation
• 6-No Intermission
• 7-The Reason
• 8-An Eyeful
• 9-The Mistletoe Solution
• 10-Gift Exchange and More Chess

"Nonsense, Potter. This little trinket signifies nothing." His tone of voice may have indicated his nonchalance at the ring he held in his hands, but Severus had a hard time keeping the blush that threatened to erupt from appearing.

"Well, you know the traditions, Professor. I was only saying..."

"Yes, well... if one believed in superstitious tomfoolery, then maybe something like this gold ring would be of more significance."

"It's funny you should mention superstitions here in the Divination classroom, Professor. I have a hard time believing all that mumbo jumbo myself. Although it can be 'fun' I really don't believe in it. What about you, sir?"

"I believe that Trelawney is a charlatan."

Harry snorted in laughter. "That appears to be something we agree upon." Harry hesitated for a moment. "May I ask you a question, sir?"

Severus sighed in resignation. There wasn't anything else for them to do at the moment, except wander a castle filled with trinkets and toys or sit here and hold what may be a civilized conversation.

"Yes, Potter. You may."

"What is it about Christmas that gets under your skin? Why does it bother you so much?"

"It's a long story, Mr. Potter. One that I really don't have the time to go into right now."

"Um, but sir, we have all the time we need at our disposal. It's not like we're g ang anywhere."

"Must you constantly remind me of that fact?" Severus leaned back in his chair and pushed his half eaten pudding away. He had lost his appetite.

"But it's the truth. And there's no avoiding it."

"Very well, Potter! You tell me why you are so anti-Christmas this year, and I may tell you my reasons. But I'm not promising anything."

Harry put down the fork he'd been holding negligently in his hands, and contemplated Snape's request.

"I told the Headmaster yesterday. You were there, don't you remember?"

"Yes, I remember. But that can't be all of it, Mr. Potter. There has to be more than just missing your friends."

Harry recognised the truth behind the man's words. He just wasn't sure that he was comfortable exposing his innermost thos tos to the man who, before this moment, seemed to loathe the very ground he walked upon.

"Perhaps. It's just that...I'm not all that comfortable with telling people what really bothers me. I mean, I do miss Ron and 'Mione! This is the first year that I've had to spend Christmas alone since me tme to Hogwarts."

Harry paused for a moment, he felt that he might as well tell the entirety of it. In for a penny, in for a pound. "Since they got together..." he chewed on his lower lip in thought, "I've just felt kind of...kind of like the odd man out."

Severus considered the young man's words before he spoke. "You know, Harry, despite what yoittlittle 'fan club' might tell you, the world does not revolve around you or your happiness. Children grow up, life goes on, and we make connections with new people who may shape our lives in completely different ways. This doesn't mean that your friends care any less for you, they just care for each other in a more exclusive way."

Harry sat and pondered his professor's speech. "I understand that, sir. Honestly, I do. I think I'm just envious of their finding someone to be exclusive with, and it doesn't help matters that I'm different."

"Different? Potter, you are no different than any other person out there, because honestly, you are not that exceptional. As a matter of fact, you're just a garden variety Gryffindor."

Harry looked at his professor strangely, when he realized the man had misinterpreted his words. He was also insulted. "Garden variety? What's that supposed to mean?"

"Average. Common. Ordin Ju Just what you believe it implies. However, being a typical Gryffindor, you believe instead that you are noble, self-sacrificing and brave."

"What if I'm not noble, self-sacrificing and brave? What if..." Harry paused as he was about to reveal exactly what he thought himself to be. "What if I'm scared shitless, especially of being alone? I'm afraid that I'm going to die before I get a change to even experience a meaningful relationship. Plus, I just want a chance to find out who I really am, without all the Boy.. who... whatever nonsense..."

"Come, now, Mr. Potter. Surely you eat up all of that attention?"

"Truly, Professor Snape. Have you ever noticed me yelling, 'look at me' in order to get that attention? Besides, you've seen my memories, sir. You know better than that."

"But surely, your seeking out the evil doer in all the years you've been at Hogwarts would indicate that 'look at me' hero attitude of yours. You've sought the limelight by ing ing the hero."

"Seeking him out? You've got to be bloody kidding me! Do you honestly think I wanted to find the stone? Or the basilisk? What about the graveyard? Would I ask him to use the Cruciatus on me?

"The bastard has been trying to kill me since the day I was born. I didn't ask for this. Surely you see this? And, oh god, all the people who have died because of me. I certainly wanted that!"

Harry was nearly hyperventilating now, tears stinging his eyes; he thought of all the people he had known, cared for and lost. "Cedric, Sirius, my parents!

"And every time you go to him you put yourself in danger as well. I live with this guilt every single day of my miserable life. What if I'm not strong enough to take him down? What then?"

Severus had no idea the can of worms he was opening with one simple question, and had no clue how to approach answering the young man. For once, he felt he didn't have the correct answers or even any answers to give. Wait a minute. Did he just mention me?<

"Potter, why would you be concerned about me? You have no control over my actions."

"Maybe not, but the longer he lives, the more danger you are in. Just another of my many failures, someone else I care about being..." Harry stopped when he realized what he had said.

"I think it's time we go get some water to heat up." Clearly uneasy with what Potter's words implied, Severus rose from his chair and went to retrieve his cauldrons. "Are you coming along?"

Happy that Snape was not going to confront him about what he had just divulged, Harry rose to follow his professor.

"Do you need me to carry anything, Professor?"

"I believe I can manage two empty cauldrons, Potter. Perhaps when they are full of hot water, that I may then need your assistance."

Harry trailed behind Snape, all the while contemplating their emotionally charged conversation. While he watched each step the man in front of him took, his thoughts lingered over the words Snape had imparted to him. Hold the broomstick, did Snape call me Harry? This was definitely something worth thinking about.

They reached the Room of Requirement and Harry remembered that nearby there was a loo. Hawalkwalked passed the professor, opened the door and sure enough there was a fully functional bathroom. The carol playing this time was really inappropriate, or so Harry thought. Thumpety thump thump, Thumpety thump thump, Look at Frosty go.

"I think we should make quick work of this, Professor. I don't really want to be here any longer than necessary."

They proceeded to fill the cauldrons with water, and each of them carried one to the Room of Requirement setting them over the fire to heat up. Before long, the water was steaming and Snape used 'his' stocking to lift and carry the hot cauldron. Harry followed his lead and used his stocking for the same purpose.

They returned to the nearby bathroom and Severus indicated that they should take separate sinks to wash up. Snape made sure the sink was stoppered and he lifted his cauldron and tipped in some freshly warmed water. While it cooled a bit, he started to strip down out of his robes and took off his white linen shirt. All the while trying not to notice what his young student was doing next to him.

Harry just stood there, gaping at the man as he watched him disrobe.

"What are you staring at, Potter?"

"You." His unconscious thought slipped out before he could censor himself. Stupid! How on earth could you have said something so damned stupid Harry? Now he's really going to think you're weird.

"What is it about me that you find so fascinating that you feel you must stare? You look like a carp with your mouth hanging open."

Harry closed his mouth with a snap and turned away from the man he'd been ogling. He knew he couldn't answer that question without implicating himself further. Seriously, he couldn't tell the man he'd been thinking he had a nice body. Did I just think Snape has a nice, hard body? So he decided it best to simply ignore the question and began to take off his own robes.

Soon it was Severus' turn to stare. Who knew what Potter's robes hid! Certainly not I! Merlin, is that what Quidditch does to thighs... Before he could be caught staring, he turned away from his student.

He cleared his throat as they finished washing up. "I think we should go back to the kitchen and see if we can find something else to eat."

"Yeah, I'm still hungry. That pudding tasted alright, but it wasn't all that filling."

They rinsed out the cauldrons and left them to dry in the washroom, then began the endless walk toward the kitchen. They were so lost in their own thoughts that they didn't even notice the gaudy decorations they passed in the corridors.

The portrait opened the moment Harry reached out to tickle it, and they entered to try to find any food other than pudding. The moment they stepped into the room, their nostrils were assaulted by the aroma of Steak and Mushroom pie, and Cornish Pasties which appeared to be freshly baked.

Harry looked at Severus with his eyes wide, his mouth literally watering. Not willing to tempt fate, he merely picked up two plates and loaded them with as many pies and pasties as he could carry. They never knew when they might get food this good again.

"Professor Snape? Could you bring the cutlery again? And check the ice box for pumpkin juice. I'll grab two glasses and we can take lunch in our room." Our room. Funny to think of it that way.

Severus grunted and did as he was requested, and silently followed Harry as they made their way back to the room.

Harry opened the door and froze in teary ary shock.

"Wow! A bigger bed. More room to..." Harry clapped his hand over his mouth to silence himself.

"More room, indeed, Mr. Potter. Perhaps tonight you can manage to keep your toes out of my nose." He quirked an eyebrow in mock distress, as Harry began to blush attractively.

Blush attractively? Good gods, what am I thinking?

tbc