• 1-Confessions
• 2-Awakening
• 3-Rationalizations
• 4-Secrets
• 5-Desperation
• 6-Betrayal I
• 7-Appearances
• 8-Guilt
• 9-Confusion
• 10-Rumors
• 11-Reservations
• 12-Repercussions
• 13-Confrontations
• 14-Perceptions

Well, I finally earn the rating in this one. I’ll make some more personal review responses after this chapter when you all tell me if I can adeqly wly write smut – er – love scenes.

Thank you all for the encouragement. Just one note for Diagonalist. I’m very glad you approve of my version of Sev’s inner voice. It means a lot coming from you, and, well, if it isn’t really you than I commend your taste in fraudulent representation. <vbg

To Have and To Hold

Chapter 5 – Desperation

The further Harry moved through the dungeons, the more worried he became. His thoughts moved from reflection to the present and he was struck with the fact that Voldemort had called his Death Eaters. And Severus had gone.

Harry’d had too many visions of some of the wonderful things Voldemort did with his Death Eaters and the thought of Severus with them sent icy terror througm.

"I think it’s ridiculous," Lucius agreed. "If Potter were that stupid or that gullible he’d be dead by now."

"But?" Severus prompted, having heard one.

"But the master insists that Draco could," Lucius grimaced, "seduce him."

That got Severus’ attention. Draco? Seduce Harry? It would never happen but the thought of Draco trying, touching his Harry…

Severus controlled his thoughts and schooled his features. "It is well-known that your son is a sexual predator. He can, and does, shag anyone at school." Severus dared to tease. "You should be proud. He’s even surpassed your exploits."

Lucius couldn’t help his smirk but Severus had thprespression there was more. He was right.

"I want my son safe, Severus," he stated emphatically. "My fate is tied to the Dark Lord. Narcissa doesn’t see how maniacally obsessed the master’s become with Potter since the Ministry." Lucius took another long swallow of his drink. "I will accept defeat with our Lord, but I’ll do everything in my power to keep my Dragon out of this war, which I’ve begun to question."

Severus blinked. He’d outright declared that he questioned the Dark Lord’s goals.

"Why are you telling me this, Lucius?"

"Severus, we used to be friends," Lucius said, turning back to face him. "We were close. You are Draco’s godfather."

"You know I would do-"

"I know, Severus," Lucius interrupted with a sigh, "but I want you to tell Dumbledore that I will do all I can to keep Draco safe."

Severus stood up. Lucius was considering treason to the Dark Lord? "I beg your pardon."

"The manor is safe, Severus," Lucius snapped impatiently. "Let us talk plainly. I know the Dark Lord thinks you are a double agent and I have, on more than one occasion, assured him of your loyalty."

"You have?"

"Oh yes. But I know you, Severus, and I know that you favor the side of light, a kno know several reasons why."

Now Severus was suspicious. "Do you? How?"

"I don’t wish to argue point, but let us just say that Draco is as fine a spy as you are."

"It doesn’t matter," he spoke with finality. "What matters is Draco. I don’t want the master to get his hands on him. Understand?"

"Yes Lucius, I understand." So it’s to be blackmail. Help Lucius or die when Lucius tells the Dark Lord of Severus’ true allegiance.

"This is not a threat, Severus," Lucius assured him. "It’s an old friend asking for help for his son. A son who is still naïve in many ways, and yes, spoiled even, but his son nevertheless."

Severus studied Lucius intently. There didn’t appear toany any subterfuge in his expression. "I see."

"So will you help me, Severus?" Lucius implored.

Sev nod nodded. "Yes, Lucius. I will help you."

**********

By Care of Magical Creatures the next afternoon, Harry was near frantic. He hadn’t seen Severus at all the entire day. He didn’t show up at breakfast or lunch and Harry was almost ready to storm the dungeons.

Both Ron and Hermione reassured him again that Snape was probably fine because his classes weren’t cancelled and the Slytherins were all acting normal. This eased most of Harry’s fears but he knew he wouldn’t be convinced that everything was fine until Severus was sucking on his neck again.

That thought also brought on Harry’s resolve that he was going to have sex with the man that night even if he had to do the seducing himself. He wasn’t sure what that was going to entail, but he knew he would figure something out. He knew Severus wanted him and Harry figured it couldn’t be too hard to entice him into bed.

Yes, his nerves were definitely shot and just the state of events in the world demanded that Harry latch onto these new feelings he had been assailed with and explore them to their fullest. The slow progression would be fine for ordinary people but neither one of them were ordinary and Harry knew he was ready to share the experience with Severus.

The sheer horror he had felt at seeing that empty seat at the head table that morning was telling. He definitely needed more from Severus, and he wanted it now.

Whatever the relationship was, it needed to move forward.

***************

As soon as Severus closed the door and turned around, his arms were filled with one very enthusiastic Harry Potter.

Between kisses, he heard, "Are you alright?" and "I was so worried when you weren’t at any of the meals." And finally, "I’ll kill him, I swear it."

"Potter," Severus finally got a word in edgewise. He held him away by the shoulders. "I’m fine."

Intense green eyes studied his face as if looking for signs that he was not ‘fine.’

A tentative hand reached up and brushed a strand of hair out of Severus’ eyes. Severus searched Harry’s expression and found the mask shattered, leaving open concern and a surprising fear.

Wow.

"I’m fine," Severupeatpeated, stressing it with kiss.

When he lifted his head and looked again, the face was better prepared, but Harry’s bottom lip was pulled between his teeth.

"Sorry," Harry mumbled and he glanced away.

"As honored as I am to have the famous Harry Potter concerned over my well being, we have work to do."

Green eyes snapped back to meet and and y loy looked ready to either shy away or explode. Severus’ smird wod wonders to prevent either occurrence.

A grin appeared on his lips. "Honored, are we?" he quipped. "Professor Snape, I’m shocked."

Severus lifted a brow. "Don’t be shocked, Mr. Potter," he responded. "Be afraid." He pulled Harry close again and kissed him forcefully. "Be very afraid."

"Yes, sir."

Severus nearly groaned at the deceivingly innocent reply, which was accompanied by a knowing smile. Just where was the brat learning these techniques? He held him away again and put some distance between them, reminding himself that they had work to do.

Right, work first, ravish later.

Severus put Potter through a series of defensive tests, which Severus was pleased to see, Harry did well with. The repertoire of protection and counter spellster ter knew wasse tse to that of a junior Auror.

They worked on refining a few of them, paying particular attention to some of the nastier ones that a Death Eater might use. While they had worked a lot on Harry’s reflexes last year, to keep him from being surprised by anything, they needed to increase the power and difficulty of the hexes now that Severus knew that Potter was capable.

"So, are you going to tell me what happened?" Harry asked as they moved back into Severus’ private study.

"No," Severus replied simply.

"No?" Harry turned back to him. "What do you mean, ‘no,?"

Severus smirked. "No means-"

"Spare me the sarcasm," Potter retorted.

"Dumbledore doesn’t think-"

"Dumbledore?" Harry said his anger growing. "Dumbledore only tells me things when someone dies," he added harshly.

Severus flinched.

"I’d rather skip that part if you don’t mind," Harry said.

He has a rather valid point.