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A Boy Named 'Harry'	By : HeyDarlin Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Snape Views: 18793 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 4
- 5
- 6
Hello everyone as usual a big thank you to everyone that reviewed I appreciate your comments so much.
Big thank you�s to my beta�s Bluetribalrose, Brittine (Flamin Vixen), Katie (quixotic_hope), Serpent Of Light.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters etc and nor do I own a �Child Called �It�.
Last Chapter:

�You know what Potter?� Malfoy�s breath felt hot against his ear. Harry hadn�t noticed him lean in so there he stood, frozen to the spot. Before he spoke again, Malfoy spun Harry around so he was looking him dead in the eye. Silver met green.
�I see them too.� Harry�s eyes widened as he watched Malfoy turn his robes so that they swirled around his feet as he strode purposely towards the castle, leaving a very confused Harry standing alone in the rain.

Chapter 5 - My Past Defined

�No�please�let me go.�
Harry cried out as he writhed around on his four-poster bed in Gryffindor tower. His face began to contort in sheer terror as his body began to twitch and flinch away from some unseen horror.

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Harry couldn�t move his arms. He was tied, to what? His head flew up; he was in the graveyard again. The ground was dark and a potent fog spilled across the air, making it difficult for him to make anything out beyond his own feet, which were stretched out in front of him, both of them bound at the ankles.
A cloaked figure stepped out from the darkness, fog swirling around the feet of the stranger. The figure raised a hand, which Harry flinched back from, hitting his head on the cool stone behind him. With a wave of the hand, light began to appear, encircling them both.
People began to move in from the dark, all of them cloaked so Harry couldn�t see their faces. The figure in front of him stepped back and Harry felt his hands able to move. Suddenly, all the binds fell away. He staggered to his feet and stood, head held proud, staring at the cloaked figure before him.
The figures around the circle began to remove the hoods covering their faces, and they were revealed one at a time. Ron, Hermione, the twins, Molly, Arthur, Ginny, Sirius, Remus, Dumbledore, Bill, Charlie, Luna, McGonagall, the list continued. All his friends and family were there. Harry�s eyes widened as the figure in front of him removed his hood�
�Voldemort.�
A cold metallic laugh rung out into the darkness, as red glowing eyes were exposed, and the material was pulled away from his pale face. The figure waved a hand and the circle closed in, each of them standing shoulder to shoulder, blocking any means of escape.
Harry gasped; his legs almost gave way as Voldemort began moving towards him. The fog cleared from around the pair, swirling around the edges of the circle.
Harry stumbled backwards, falling over the tombstone that he had been bound to only moments earlier. The raven-haired boy hauled himself to his feet, moving shakily backwards, stumbling over the uneven ground his eyes never leaving the figure approaching him.
Harry stumbled backwards again, but instead of falling, he collided into something a lot more solid. Harry whirled around to meet the cold eyes of Dumbledore.
�Please help me.�
Dumbledore�s expression remained blank as he seized the small boy by his forearms, pushing him back towards the centre of the circle. Harry moved around the circle, screaming at his friends and family.
�Help, please help me.�
He grabbed their robes, pulled on their arms, but they all stared down at him with cold, unforgiving eyes. Harry collapsed at Sirius�s feet, clinging to the bottom of his godfather�s robes, rocking back and forth as he sobbed.
�Please help me.�
But Sirius didn�t even acknowledge him; he stood staring straight ahead, pulling his robes out of Harry�s hands.
�No one can help you, boy.�
Harry turned his head from Sirius to find himself not looking at Voldemort anymore, but at his uncle. The fog lifted and Harry�s surroundings became hazy as he and his uncle were enclosed by the dense substance. Harry strained his ears, but all he could make out was the sound of air rushing past his ears as all the fog vanished, and Harry was left in the sitting room of No. 4 Privet Drive, his uncle lumbering towards him.
Vernon moved until he was standing over Harry, who was backed up into the far corner of the room, his hands grasping the curtains. Harry�s eyes widened as he saw his uncle let out a bellow like an angry bull and pull his fist back before releasing it. The clenched fist was aimed directly at Harry�s face.

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Harry woke up screaming, sweat pouring down his face, his hands knotted in his sheets. The curtains surrounding Harry�s bed had been pulled back and had been replaced by his fellow roommates, who were standing at different points around the bed, all with identical looks of concern plastered across their features.
�Harry. Mate, are you okay?�
Harry turned his head to look at Ron, who was standing at the head of the bed, his hair sticking up on end and his eyes struggling to stay open. Harry nodded his head and slowly began to release his grip on the bed sheets.
�You sure? You did an awful lot of screaming.�
Harry looked around his bed at his other roommates, who were all still in various stages of sleep. Neville stood at the foot of his bed, blinking his eyes rapidly, trying to force them to stay open. Seamus stood next to Ron, his mouth open in a jaw splitting yawn, and Dean was leaning against one of the posts at the foot of the bed, his eyes closed.
�Yes Ron, I�m fine. Go back to bed.�
He didn�t have to tell them twice. Neville went straight back to his bed whilst Seamus had to give Dean a push in the right direction, as it seemed he had fallen asleep again. Ron furrowed his eyebrows at Harry, who just rolled his eyes.
�I�m fine Ron, really.�
Ron shrugged his shoulders and set off back to his bed next to Harry�s, not even bothering to pull back his covers. Harry laid back in his bed, his body still shaking as he reached out a hand for his glasses, which were on the nightstand. Once the world was back in focus, Harry turned his head to look at his clock: �4:30�
Harry sighed and looked down at his sheets, which were around his waist. Harry�s heart skipped a beat as he quickly pulled them up to his chin. �What if one of them saw?� Harry peered under the sheets at his pyjama top, which thankfully, was still in one piece.
Harry breathed a sigh of relief as he realized that the glamours were still in place, and his heart rate began to slow back down again. Knowing that he wouldn�t be able to get back to sleep that night, Harry pulled back the bed sheets, and once he heard the deep breathing and snores from his other roommates, he climbed out of the bed, his whole body screaming in protest. All the thrashing around whilst he had been asleep had opened some of his wounds, and as Harry pulled back the sheets, he began to find patches of crimson which stood out in stark contrast to the white sheets.
Once Harry had managed to get out of his bed, he grabbed his wand from the nightstand and uttered a few cleaning charms on the sheets. From there, he quietly made his way to his trunk, pulling it open and grabbing a towel and some fresh clothes before he made his way to the bathroom, placing a series of locking charms on the door behind him. When the door was fully secure, Harry turned his attention to his pyjamas, which were sticky with blood and sweat. He slowly began to peel them of his skin, wincing as some of the dried blood pulled at his skin.
Harry threw his soiled pyjamas down the laundry chute, which took all the dirty clothes to the house elves for washing. He quickly removed his glamours and walked over to the nearest shower cubicle. He hung his clean clothes on the peg outside and placed the towel over the top of the shower door before he stepped inside and turned the water on.
Cold water came plummeting down from the showerhead, causing Harry to gasp and duck out of the flow until the water had warmed up slightly. Harry ducked his head back into the flow of warm water, biting his lip to stop himself from crying out as the water came into contact with his open wounds. When his body had stopped smarting much, Harry grabbed the bar of soap and began to thoroughly cleanse his body, watching as the blood spiralled down the plug hole in streams of red.

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Harry stepped out of the shower, his towel wrapped around his waist. He quickly dried himself off and applied his glamours once again after stopping the bleeding from any of his wounds that had opened during the night.
Now fully dressed, Harry quietly left the seclusion of the bathroom and made his way down the stairs that led to the Gryffindor common room. The common room was empty; the only light being emitted was from the glowing embers in the common room fire.
Harry walked over to the fireplace and rested his arm on the fire mantel. He had his head tilted downwards so he was staring into the fireplace. His face was lit up by the glowing embers, his large dark shadow behind him.
Harry turned bright eyes to look at the shadow behind him. �My past is so dark that I cannot see the light of the future.� Harry was consumed by his past. It was his past that made him who he was, the past that haunted him, the past he could never be free of.
Harry turned his face back to the fire, which was slowly being extinguished by the lack of fuel. �I now have no future because I have nothing new to be.� He would always be the Boy-Who-Lived, a label he could not shake. His future had already been planned out for him, a future in which he had no option but to do what he had been told�to save the world. Such a small thing to do, something which weighed heavy on his shoulders, a task that he felt he could not complete. �I either do it or die trying.� There really wasn�t much too look forward to.
Hogwarts was the only place at which he had ever felt at ease; he wasn�t constantly jumpy, waiting for the next thing he did wrong to blow up in his face. It was the only place that he had ever really felt safe, away from his past. Guaranteed he could never really escape it, but when he was here with all his friends, it made it that much more bearable.

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Slowly, Harry�s other housemates began to trickle down the stairs into the common room. Most said �hi� and then left out the portrait to go down for breakfast; a few first years were sitting on the sofas, hurriedly finishing essays for that day. Harry still stood in the same position, the fire now completely extinguished.
�Hello Harry;H you�re up early.�
Harry turned when he heard Hermione�s voice; he gave her a smile.
�Couldn�t sleep.�
Hermione opened her mouth to say something, but was cut off as Ron came down the stairs from the boys dormitories, still looking bleary eyed and half asleep.
�Well, I�m not surprised after the nightmare you had.�
�You had another nightmare?�
Harry nodded, not really wanting to talk about the subject. But since when had he ever got what he wanted?
�Harry, have you gone to Dumbledore yet? You need to tell him.�
Harry shook his head.
�It was a nightmare, �Mione, not a vision. It isn�t important.�
�Yeah well still, you should see him or Snape even; he could give you some dreamless sleep potion; you look like you could do with it.�
Harry nodded again.
�I�ll wait with you after class if you want, Harry.�
Harry nodded once more; there was no way he was going to be able to get out of this one.
The trio made their way down to the Great Hall for breakfast. Harry walked behind Ron and Hermione, who were holding hands and talking animatedly about something Harry couldn�t decipher. Once again, when they entered the Great hall Harry had to take a minute to let himself adjust to the amount of noise that was being created by the students and teachers alike. After spending almost two months in relative silence by himself, where the only break was getting screamed at by one of the Dursleys or his own pain filled sobs, the noise was a bit too much for him at times.
They took their seats in their usual places on the Gryffindor table, Harry facing outwards towards all the other house tables in the hall. As the other two began pilling food onto their plates, Harry just pushed his empty plate away from him, putting his head into his hands to try and avoid catching anyone�s eyes.
Harry stayed like this for a while, letting the buzz of conversations wash over him. No one was really paying him much attention�but then, why could he feel someone�s eyes on him?
Slowly Harry lifted his head from his hands, not missing the disapproving look from Hermione when she saw that he hadn�t eaten anything. Harry�s eyes quickly scanned the room, flicking over all the house tables, all of which were almost empty now as classes started in the next five minutes of so. Harry remembered what had happened last night; he could feel that invading look once again penetrating his mind and body. Harry forced his features into a neutral expression, and he swallowed the lump in his throat before finally, after a deep breath, he lifted his eyes to the staff table and found himself staring directly at the greasy haired potions professor, who sneered at him, causing Harry to involuntarily flinch, before Snape raised from the table and left the hall.

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Severus watched as the doors to the Great Hall swung open once more as students poured in; this time, though, only three students entered the Hall. �The Golden Trio no less.� The red head and the girl seemed happy enough talking to each other whilst the other trailed behind.
Severus watched as the smallest of the trio stopped just in the doorway of the Hall. His eyes briefly closed before he continued, his head hung, his feet dragging on the floor. In short, the boy looked depressed.
�Something�s the matter with Potter,� Severus stated to the Headmaster who was sitting to his left.
The old man shook his head and gently stroked his white beard with his hand before turning to Severus his pale blue eyes twinkling. �Stupid man.�

�Nonsense my dear boy, he�s a teenager: they�re always like that.�
�What, suicidal?� Severus muttered sarcastically under his breath as he turned his eyes towards the Gryffindor table. Harry wasn�t eating; he was sitting there, head in his hands, being completely ignored by the rest of his housemates.
Severus continued to stare at the boy, his mind speculating about why the normally joyful boy was acting so morose.
Slowly, the boy�s head lifted and he began to look around for something or someone. Severus caught the flicker of anxiety in the young boy�s face as his eyes travelled over the house tables, obviously not finding who he was looking for.
Gradually, the boy�s face changed into a neutral mask, but not before a lump had been swallowed in his pale throat. Severus found himself staring into deep green eyes. Not knowing what to do, Severus sneered again, causing the younger boy to recoil. Frowning, Severus stood up and made his way out of the Hall to prepare himself for his first lesson: 6^th year Slytherins and Gryffindors, meaning that Harry would be in his class.

�This should be interesting.�

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�As you all know, to get into this N.E.W.T class, you all must have scored an Outstanding on your O.W.L�s. The results this year have even surprised me.�
Severus grimaced as he remembered when he had read the list of students who were in his N.E.W.T�s class; the top of the list had been this:

Draco Malfoy - Top of the class as expected

Hermione Granger - Had to settle for second best

Harry Potter - Why the hell did Potter want to take potions?

Ronald Weasley - How the hell did he get an Outstanding?
"As you know, potions is a difficult subject, and I will not hesitate to throw anyone out of this class who isn't up to standard, regardless of who they are."
Severus switched his gaze from his favorite student, who was smirking at some of the less talented members of the class, to the back of the room, where Potter was laying with his head down on the desk and his eyes closed. �Doesn�t he sleep at night?�

Severus strode down the classroom to the end desk where the Weasley was trying to shake his friend awake. The raven-haired boy lifted his head, scowling at his friend for waking at him before he turned in the direction his friend was nodding.

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Harry felt himself being shaken and he slowly lifted his head from the hard surface he had been resting it on. With tired eyes, he scowled at his friend, who kept nodding at someone in front of the desk the pair was sharing. Harry gradually turned his face around, not lifting his eyes up just yet. He could see the dark robes of his potions professor, and he immediately knew he was in for it. As his eyes travelled upwards, he saw his professor�s arms crossed firmly across his chest. Finally, Harry lifted his eyes to stare at his potions professor, who was staring down at him in disgust.
�What did I just say, Potter?�
Snape leaned forward, resting his hands on Harry�s desk so his face was level with Harry�s, who pushed his chair slightly backwards so they weren�t as close.
�I, I, I dunno.�
�You think that you are special, Mr. Potter? Everyone else may love you, but I can assure you I do not. In this classroom, you are no one and nobody. Unless you want to fail this class I suggest that you pay GODDAMN ATTENTION.�
Harry jumped backwards as Snape�s voice changed from a menacing whisper to a shout. Snape�s hands smacked the hard wood of the desk, and Harry flew backwards in his chair, backwards onto the floor. Harry shakily stepped backwards only to fall over his chair, landing on the floor with a resounding thud that echoed off the stone dungeon walls.
All the Slytherins in the classroom burst out laughing. Harry looked around, tears welling up in his eyes as he looked towards the front of the classroom. He saw Malfoy sitting there, and he wasn�t laughing, not even smirking, just sitting there with a neutral expression on his face.
�Detention, Mr. Potter, for the rest of the week and 50 points from Gryffindor.�

All the Gryffindors scowled at the greasy git before turning their eyes back to Harry, who was still on the floor.
�Come on mate.�
Ron pushed his chair back, reaching out a hand and pulling his friend to his feet.
�Class is dismissed; Potter stay behind.�

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Severus made his way back up to his desk and began shuffling through some notes he had made on a new potion he was trying. When he looked up, Potter was sitting in his seat in the back row, his head hung. Also in the classroom was Draco, who was sitting in the front row, examining his nails.
�Potter, come here.�
As Potter slowly made his way up to his desk, Severus began to massage his temples. He could not deal with this. �Fucking teenagers.�

�Pray tell Mr. Potter, why you think it is ok to fall asleep in my lesson?�

Harry shrugged.
�I didn�t sleep well last night, Sir.�
�That�s not my problem is it, Potter? Do not expect me to coddle you or give you sympathy because I am the last person in the world that you shall receive it from.�
�Yes Sir.�
�Tonight at 7, be outside my classroom.�
�Yes Sir.�
Harry repeated in a low tone, his head bowed, eyes examining the desk in front of his.
�Get out.�
Harry did. He turned and walked swiftly out of the classroom, shutting the door quietly behind him.
Severus turned to the blond sitting in the front row.
�There is something going on with him, Sev.�
�I know: I know.�

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Outside the classroom, Harry leant up against the stonewall, tears welling up in his eyes. Ron and Hermione hadn�t bothered to wait for him, so he was standing outside the potions classroom cold and alone.

�Why doesn�t anyone understand? Why won�t anyone help?�

"Surrounded by pain, I look to you for relief.

You stand there looking at me as if I asked you to save the world."

Surrounded by you - Brandy Lynn

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A Boy Named 'Harry'