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Twenty Ways to Catch a Weasley	By : FairlightMuse Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Snape/Ginny Views: 16454 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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*Well, not a funny chapter. . .just a bridge chapter to get from one chapter to the next. But tell me what you think.*

Even better.
While Ginny was inside of the hospital, being revived by a grim mediwitch, Professor Snape was walking up and down a sidewalk along Diagon Alley.

Snape was not very certain of how he should behave towards her now. Apologetic? Aloof? Casual? Or should he crawl to her on his knees and beg for her forgiveness? He decided to keep the latter option in mind; however he was not yet prepared to resort to genuflection. He wasn't that desperate.

Well, perhaps he was nearly that desperate, but since he could think of nothing more humiliating than groveling, he had to save it for the last, best and most perfect moment.

At the present moment, he had a better idea. There was only one way, in his rusty opinion, to make up for his last unfortunate surprise. That was to give her a better present. Something that would make her forget the fact that he had suffocated her with flowers, knocked her out with her door, and then abandoned her at a hospital.

What did women like? He took out a quill and wrote '' WOMEN" at the top of a scrap of piece of parchment. He looked at it for a moment, and decided that he did not like the plural tone to that word. Not WOMEN, but one WOMAN. Ginny Weasley. He changed the lettering

What did he know about her? He puzzled. Well, he knew she had played, and still watched Quidditch. She always wore a gold locket. She usually wore a lavender ribbon in her hair. She had a scar across the back of her left hand. She had dated several men, none of them had been Gryffindors. He wrote all of this down and frowned.

He knew many things of Ginny, but very few things about her. Unlike Hermione Granger, she had not been a brilliant student,

But she had not been incredibly obtuse. He would put down that she was bright. Very bright, but rather quiet. she had never flaunted herself.

He had been in her house. . .what could he deduce from that?

She was incredible untidy.

She had entirely too many photographs of Potter on her wall. ( Hadn't they dated?)

She had, mercifully, no pets.

She had a very tacky sofa, that looked as though it had seen too much action, of the wrong sort.

She had a stacks and stacks of books. . .

She had a few little figurines, most of them were, as far as he could remember, bears.

Cutesy little bears.

The solution he was seeking hit him with the delicate force of a bludger to the chest, causing him to nearly smile.

" That's IT!!" he declared to a passing group of middle aged women, who blinked wildly before scampering into the nearest shop.

He needed something. . .cute.

He wrinkled his large, hooked nose at the word ' cute'. It was a ghastly word, and no doubt it was going to be a grueling and unpleasant task to find this something cute. But, he was a Deatheater. He had served Voldemort, seen war, survived torture, been forced to be nice to Harry Potter, worked with the Weasley twins, and had even seen Remus Lupin in drag. If he had survived that all of that and still walked away unscarred, he could surely scour the countryside (and every shop in London) to find something ' cute.'
The only question was; What would Ginny Weasley consider to be cute?

*

He drew from inside of his black robes, a brown paper parcel, tied with a lavender string. The package seemed lumpy and soft, and he held it tightly as though fearing it might vanish before she had the chance to open it. For the first time in his adult life, he felt a little bashful, and was very grateful for her smile as she took the gift from his hands, her soft slender fingers brushing along his palm briefly.

" What's this?" she asked, glancing coquettishly up at him from under her lashes.

" My sincerest apology for having hospitalized you yesterday." he said, trying not to sound more like a reprimanded child offering an un-sincere apology.

She delicately untied the strings, torturing him as she carefully unfolded the paper to keep from tearing it. He practically bounced from foot to foot, impatient to see her reaction.

At last her present was bare to the eye, a violet plush bear, with large sad eyes. It wore a Gryffindor tee-shirt, ( the result of an arduous transfiguration on his behalf.), and held a little plush broomstick in one hand. He thought it looked rather nauseating, but Ginny looked as though Christmas had come twice in the same day.

" Oh!!!!" she squealed, " She is sooooo cute!"

HA! Success!!

And even better than her verbal response was her physical caress of thanks, when she leaned across the table and kissed his cheek.

" What was that for?" he asked, too surprised to be smug.

" She is adorable! And she is in my favorite color!"

" I know."

" Oh? And how do you know?"

" I have my ways." he thought it sounded very mysterious, but she glared at him suddenly.

" You are not using your little mind trick, are you? Don't think I don't know about that!" he watched, fascinated as color flooded hr face.

" No. . .I am not using a mind trick. I wouldn't dream of intruding on your privacy. Mental privacy, that is. Now stop raising your voice. . .people are looking at us."

" I don't care if people look at us, do you?"

" Yes. . .I find it very annoying and disturbing to have strangers aware of what is occurring between us."

" And what is going on between us?' she asked, taking a sip of her soda.

" I am trying to convince you of my sincerity. Or seduce you, whichever comes first." he attempted a smile, but she continued to contemplate him with a sobriety that made him feel a little uncomfortable.

When she had said nothing after nearly five minutes, and he realized that he could not finish his meal under her scrutiny, he gave an exasperated sigh.

" What is it now? '' he asked.

" Two things."

" One?"

" I am actually beginning to like you. . ."

" Is that such a bad thing?"

" I don't know if it is an achievement."

" Two?" he chose to ignore her comment.

" Two is, that I think that if you really wanted to love me, and be loved, that you would show a little more wild and spontaneous abandon."

" What do you mean? The last time I was spontaneous you. . .gave me a very well aimed reprimand right in my ' drastic measures '.''

Ginny laughed.

" I mean, be a little less worried about people noticing you. A person who was trying to prove unconditional love would not hesitate to humiliate him or herself in public."

" You want me to embarrass myself for you?"

" Not in so many words. . .I was thinking more along the lines of just enjoying life, and not noticing that others are staring at your back."

" Are they staring?" he whipped around.

Ginny shook her head, laughing.

" See, you are paranoid. Relax. "

" I can't relax, you make me very nervous."

" Well, I am about to remedy that." she lay her napkin in her plate, and stood.

" Where are you going?" he asked.

" I have work to do."

" I could assist you. . ." he offered.

" Not this time. I want you to stay right there, and relax. I want you to stay in that chair, for at least five minutes after I leave, and not pay any attention to what people are whispering about us."

" But you said they weren't doing anything back there. . ."

She approached him, swaying her hips a little as she came.

" They will be in a moment." she said, and she ducked her head towards him.

" Thank you so much for the teddy bear!! " she squealed again in a high grating voice that turned every head in the room. " You are the best cousin in the world!" and she crushed his mouth under her own, parting his lips easily.

The kiss was so erotic, even if it was short, that every fork in the restaurant stopped midway between mouth and plate, and somewhere a waiter dropped a serving tray.

Severus didn't realize until she pulled away, that she had been half in his lap, her knee planted between his thighs, her breasts dangerously near to his chest.

She winked as she pulled away, and mouthed the words.

" Stay there and don't worry. . ."

" I'll see you later. " she said aloud, wiping a smudge of lipstick off of one corner of his shocked mouth.

He watched as she walked away, her little teddy bear tucked under her arm.

Half of the people's gazes followed her out. The other half remained on him. . .some indignant, others simply curious.

He felt their little eyes and turned to glare at them. Blushing, some of them had the good taste to return to their meals, even as they whispered to each other.

He felt a heat rising in him, and the urge to vanish from their realm. . .but he wouldn't give her that satisfaction. Once again he tried to convince himself that she wasn't worth it. . .but it was impossible when he was in a near state of arousal, just from her kiss.

Just a kiss. . .but wow, what a kiss. It was still pulsing through him, twenty minutes later when he finished his meal, and smugly paid his bill.

All in all, he would say that attempt number two, had gone much better than number one.
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Twenty Ways to Catch a Weasley