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Marvin the Mad Muggle	By : AuctorRubra Category: Harry Potter > General > General Views: 1883 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 4
- 5
- 6
Disclaimer: It�s not mine! *sob* Harry, all of his
friends, and the entirety of Potterverse all belong to J.K. Rowling and I swear
that I�m not making any money off of it. BUT�Marvin is mine, mine, mine and if
you touch him I will hex you into oblivion!

A/N: I must apologize for how dry the last chapter
was. Sometimes you just have to keep writing and push through no matter what
kind of drivel is coming out. I�ve been ambushed by a couple plot bunnies so I
have about four stories going right now, two (counting this one) that I�m
posting and two that I�m trying to complete before posting. This is supposed
to be my relaxed and fun story so I�m trying to update twice a week. That you
to everyone who�s still reading this! Read, Review, and Enjoy!

Auctor Rubra

Chapter 5: Steve and Harriette

Severus stood several steps back
from his muggle companion as the man pounded on the door of a small,
underground flat.

�Yeah, who�s there,� called a
baritone voice.

�It�s Mavin, man. Open up!�

The sound of several locks being
removed was followed by the heavy door swinging open with a crash. �Marv?
Where the hell have you been? You missed the Halo tournament last night.�
(A/N: I love you little bro!)

Severus watched impatiently as the
two younger men exchanged pleasantries. This new muggle was only a few inches
shorter than he was, with warm brown eyes and black hair that was just long
enough to fall in his eyes every now and then. His skin was darkly tanned and
he looked as though he hadn�t shaved for a few days.

�Anyway, Justin, this is my new
pal�Steve.� The muggle was motioning for him to come over. He frowned at the
name change and the insinuation that he would ever befriend the motor-mouthed
muggle.

�Nice to meet you, Steve,� the new
muggle said with a bright smile. He extended his hand. �I�m Justin.�

Severus gripped the muggle�s hand
for the shortest time possible while still being polite. �Pleasure,� he
drawled.

Justin�er�the new muggle ushered
them into his dimly lit home and quickly shut and locked the door. Severus
took a moment to assess his surroundings. The room was neat at the very least
and sparsely furnished. There was a long couch that seemed a bit worn and a
comfortable looking armchair. Muggle contraptions filled the room. Severus recognized
several of them as something called a telefission�or something like that.
There were several tall shelves, but Severus was disgusted to see that they
held not ONE BOOK! The only reading material in sight looked like thick muggle
magazines.

Marvin�damn�the loud-mouthed
muggle cleared his throat to regain his attention. �Well, are you ready to do
some online reading, Steve? Come over to the desk here and I�ll set you up
with a good website.�

Severus lowered himself gracefully
into the wooden chair his companion indicated and waited with a tapping foot as
the man went to work on a muggle electronic box. This he recognized as a
computer. Granger had one in her office, though he still wasn�t sure what
being �online� meant.

�Here we go, Steve. He, Justin,
how about a Dew or something? This might take a while.� When the other muggle
had left the room, Marvin lowered his voice to a whisper. �Okay, Professor,
you just use this little rolling box to move the arrow on the screen around.
When the arrow turns into a hand, you can click on it and read something. Use
the little wheel on the box to scroll up and down on the screen.�

�I see,� Severus said and began to
test out the device. As he moved the little arrow around the box he saw
several groups of words that lit up when the arrow passed over them. �What are
these,� he asked, tapping on the glass front of the computer.

�Categories for stories according
to the main pairings.�

Severus cocked a brow.
�Pairings?�

�Yes, according to the main
romantic couple in the piece.� The muggle rolled his eyes and turned to accept
a can of something as his friend reentered the room.

Looking back at the computer,
Severus saw a category that pricked his interest. �Potter and Draco? This I
must see.�

Marvin had a suspiciously pleasant
grin on his face. �You know, Steve, if you think that one is interesting
perhaps you should look at the Severus sections.�

�What?!� Severus glared at his
companion and slowly turned to look back at the computer.

Not Potter. Not Potter. Not
Potter.

He quickly scanned the categories
and spotted his name paired with several others.

Granger? She wishes.
Bellatrix? Ha! The Sadistic wench would have killed me with what she was
into. Weasley?! Draco? That is digusting. The boy is like my own son. Well
I don�t see�wait�NO!!

Both muggles were looking at him
in concern and Severus realized that some of his dismay had to be showing
through. He cleared his throat and braced himself for the things he was about
to read.

Damn you Rowling, you will pay
for this.

____________________________________

Harry sat in Dumbledore�s office
nervously twisting the hem of his sleeve between sweaty fingers. Severus and
Marvin had been gone for a little over a day and he was beginning to worry
about what his volatile ex-professor might have done with the poor muggle. The
snarky wizard had mellowed a great deal over the years, but not enough to take
Marvin�s revelation well. So far, Harry had been unsuccessful in his attempt
to convince Albus of this.

�Sir, I�m very worried about
this,� Harry insisted for the twentieth time. Sometimes the old wizard could
be quite dense.

Albus just smiled, his eyes
twinkling madly. �Harry, my boy, I�ve read many fan fiction stories and I
don�t see how any of them would upset Severus more than Jo�s books have.�

�Sir have you read anything beyond
the PG sections?�

The old wizard�s cheeks actually
pinked for a moment at Harry�s question and Harry felt an odd twinge of
accomplishment. �Just how bad of a rating are you suggesting?�

�NC-17�hell you could probably
just refer to some of them as XXX. And these stories will pair him up with
just about anyone you can think of! Ron, Hermione, Voldemort��

Albus blanched, obviously
disturbed by that mental picture, but Harry continued.

��Remus, Sirius�anyone.�

Albus coughed. �Is there one
you�re worried about more than others?�

�Yes,� a voice hissed from the
doorway.

Harry whirled around to see a very
disgruntled looking Snape and a confused and nervous Marvin. Jumping up from his
chair, Harry gave Marvin a quick once over. He was relieved that his friend
seemed unharmed. Of course, it was hard to stay relieved once Snape began to
advance towards him with his wand drawn.

�Now, Professor, can we talk about
this,� Harry asked gently while letting his own wand slip into his hand.

Snape just growled and continued
to back Harry into a corner. �You insolent brat!! I just bet that you were
having a great laugh knowing that people were reading such rubbish about me.
What a wonderful joke for you and your friends.�

Harry swallowed hard. �Severus,
we were only trying to keep you from getting upset and doing something rash.
Its just fiction, no one believes that you�re gay. Hell, even Ron knows that,
he just likes to make you blush.�

�Potter,� Snape spat. �Let�s get
one thing very clear. There is only one way that I would ever be in a
relationship with you��

Harry wasn�t sure he wanted to
hear this. There was a strange look of twisted glee in Snape�s eye. He
gripped his wand tighter, not wanting to hex his fellow Order member, but not
willing to take a curse for the man�s pride either.

�Really, Severus and what way is
that?�

Quick as lightening Severus gave
his wand and elaborate wave and a twist, muttering something under his breath.
Harry managed to yell out a stupefy a moment later, but he knew he was going to
be hit. Snape fell to the ground and Harry felt a rather odd tingling
sensation wash over his body. He squeezed his eyes shut, waiting for the pain
to come, but it never did. Opening his eyes, he saw Dumbledore and Marvin
staring at him with odd expressions. Marvin looked down right puzzled�not to
mention a bit disturbed. Albus looked as though it was taking every ounce of
his vast reserves of will power not to lie down on the floor and roll about
laughing.

�What in the name of Merlin is
wrong with you two,� Harry snapped. His eyes went wide as he heard what should
have been his rough tenor voice come out smooth�melodic�and several octaves too
high.

At this point Marvin seemed to
recover from his shock and�lacking Albus� amazing self restraint�doubled over
with laughter. �Oh�oh Harry�you need to look in the mirror!�

Harry quickly walked over to a
large mirror that hung on the office wall. What he saw nearly managed to make
him pass out from shock. His face had rounded and softened and his hair now
hung past his shoulders. His eyebrows were thin and arched, his nose was a bit
smaller, and�where once there had been a flat drop from his throat to his
toes�he had two rather well shaped and some what large breasts. Snape had
transfigured him into a woman!!

He was so distracted by his new
appearance that he didn�t notice Albus reviving the Potions Master. Only the
sound of the snarky git�s voice�laced with humor he hadn�t know the man
possessed�snapped him out of his daze.

�Well, Harriette, do you like my
handy work?�
- 4
- 5
- 6
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Marvin the Mad Muggle