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A Wonderful Caricature of Intimacy	By : AnasellaEmm Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Draco/Hermione Views: 75943 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 4
- 5
- 6
Disclaimer: All Harry Potter related characters, places and themes belong to J.K. Rowling, Bloomsbury and Scholastic.

A/N: Look how fast I updated:) I�m proud of me, too! Thank you so much for the continued reviews, because they truly mean a lot to me. The chapter title comes from the song, �Easier to Lie� by Aqualung.

Chapter 5: Do What�s Right When Everything is Wrong
The Burrow was always such a welcoming place for Hermione. Summers and Christmases spent there, spending time with the certifiable Weasley family and anyone who decided to visit. Hermione loved it all and felt a burst of euphoria standing at the front door, ready to knock and enter the warm home.

It had been three horrid weeks working constantly and having to semi-interact with Dickhead Malfoy. Thank God for small favors that they only had to exchange a small greeting and goodbye.

�Now, you�re saying that their eldest brother actually roomed with Oliver Wood?� Donny asked from her right side, breaking into her musings.

�Third eldest, Percy, shared a room with Oliver for six years until he became Head Boy,� Hermione clarified.

�This is probably the closest I�ll ever get to Woodie,� Donny sighed. �I hope Porky shows up.�

�Percy,� Hermione corrected with a laugh.

�I like Porky better. Percy seems like such an uptight name.�

�Trust me, then, Percy definitely fits Percy.�

The girls shared a grin and waited after knocking three times on the door.

Charlie Weasley answered the door, his hair ruffled from an obvious sleep and his eyes half open. He hid a yawn and replaced it with a smile. �Hermione! Cor, it�s been forever since I�ve seen you, come on in. Who�s your friend?�

�Charlie, this is Donny. Don, this is Charlie, Ron�s second eldest brother,� Hermione introduced the two.

�What kind of name is Donny?� Charlie bluntly asked.

�The kind of name given to mystic witches who know spells on how to reduce a man�s testicles into dust,� Donny replied without a blink. �It�s so nice to meet you, by the way.�

Charlie smiled at Hermione. �I like her. She�s fiery.�

�Yes, well� where is everyone? I thought we were having lunch,� Hermione said, walking towards the kitchen with the red-head and pixie following behind her.

�They�re out in the yard. I heard something about a picnic, but then I passed out for a while��

�Why? Are you sick?� Hermione asked worriedly.

Charlie shook his head with a coy smile. �We had George�s stag night last night and we consumed enough alcohol to keep our innards sterilized for the next century or two.�

�Classy, Charlie, real classy,� Hermione said, shaking her head.

�It was fun though; Bill is still out after having thrown up in mum�s garden. We told her it was new fertilizer and I�m pretty sure she doesn�t believe us. Ron and Harry are perky as usual, not having had much of the drink, enjoying the female entertainment in their sobriety.�

�The male species is utterly disgusting,� Donny mused out loud. �Either get so trashed you can�t move the next day or blow the night away staring at some bird�s tits and ass jiggle around in teeny leather knickers and those tassel thingies.�

�I wouldn�t mind seeing you in�� Charlie started to say before Hermione smacked the back of his head.

Donny rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest, swinging her head back to move the jet-black hair out of her eyes. �You�re still drunk so go back to bed.�

Charlie blinked twice and immediately turned towards the hall bathroom where the girls heard him empty the contents of his stomach.

�He makes a great first impression,� Donny joked, smiling at the family portrait hanging over the hearth. �So many red-heads��

�HERMIONE!� Ginny Weasley voice came from the doorway. A small bundle of freckles and red hair barreled towards Hermione and they impacted at a dangerous speed.

�God, how are you?� Ginny managed to say, giving Hermione a squeezing hug.

Hermione smiled at her old friend. �Fine, fine. Everything�s the same here, Gin. It�s you who has been off trotting the globe. Oh, let me introduce you to Donny, she works with me at the school.�

The two women shook hands and Ginny invited them to sit on the overstuffed couches.

�How long are you going to be in England?� Hermione asked Ginny.

�Only for the next two days. Our next game is on Monday, so we�ll be back in Nicosia by Sunday night and then over to Copenhagen by Wednesday morning,� Ginny explained.

�You play Quidditch?� Donny asked, looking up from a Quidditch magazine one of the Weasley boys had left on the coffee table.

�No,� Ginny shook her head with a smile. �I�m the agent and manager for the Harpies. Where they go, I go, so I�m never in one place for long.�

�Sounds fun,� Donny said, going back to an article on the breakfast plans of Puddlemere United. �Woodie eats toast with unsalted butter,� Donny sighed. �I�m not a fan of unsalted butter, but I�d change for� good lord, would you look at the chest on him? I�d like to butter that right up and��

�So, Ginny, how�s it going with Guillermo?� Hermione quickly interrupted.

�Who?� Ginny asked with a puzzled look. �Oh! Gustavo?�

�Yeah, him.�

�We broke up before I left Bogota,� she said with a wave of her hand. �The language barrier got annoying after awhile.�

�Dating must be a bitch because you travel so much,� Donny added.

�I get by,� Ginny shrugged. �International men are so much fun though.�

�I bet,� Donny snorted. �Although, our British boys are something else. No one can compare to the Scots, the Welsh and the English.�

�You don�t sound British,� Ginny said slowly. �You sound almost� South African?�

�Bingo! Good guess,� Donny said with a wide smile. �But as long as I�m living here, I�ll consider myself a Brit.�

�Oh, no guessing,� Ginny laughed. �I just came from Pretoria. It was marvelous. Beautiful city, great food and cute men.�

�Good to know you had fun in Africa,� Harry�s voice said from the entrance to the living room.

�Uh oh,� Hermione mouthed to Donny.

�Oh, I had tons and tons of fun, Harry. Thanks for asking,� Ginny replied with a cat-like smile gracing her pretty features. �How was the stag night?�

�Tons and tons of fun,� Harry replied, an angry gleam accenting his jade eyes.

Donny and Hermione watched the two of them like an ancient game of pong.

�Are you going to say hi to us?� Donny asked.

Harry looked from the red-head to Donny and Hermione. �Sorry, I was supposed to bring you all out to the yard. Everyone�s out there waiting.�

He turned on his heel and left the room, leaving them with all the yummy awkwardness he had left in his wake. Donny and Hermione exchanged nervous glances and watched Ginny leave the room and stalk up the stairs.

�Why didn�t you tell me that those two have a horribly obvious sexual tension between them?� Donny asked Hermione as they walked towards the yard.

�Long story short: Harry and Ginny dated on and off while we were all in school and even after Harry graduated they kept seeing each other. Ginny�s graduation day comes along and she tells Harry that she�s going to work with the Harpies and that she�ll be on tour most of the year. They get into a huge fight and he tells her to pick between the Harpies or him� and she chose the Harpies.�

�Well, it�s not very fair of him to make her choose between her career or him. How misogynistic,� Donny said.

�It wouldn�t have been fair to him if she had made him stay in a relationship while she was never at home. Long-distance relationships are hard and Harry has clear mental issues with being abandoned.�

Donny nodded her head. �I see your point. Oh, but it�s so noticeable that they want to shag the living daylights out of each other. Too bad they don�t just throw caution to the wind and have some wild monkey-sex.�

Hermione laughed and shook her head. �Thanks for that image. It doesn�t gross me out at all.�

�What image?� Ron asked, coming up behind them and throwing an arm around both their shoulders.

�The image of�� Donny started to say before Hermione clamped her hand on her mouth.

�The image of George�s stag night. It must have been so wild!� Hermione said.

Ron�s cheeks blushed slightly and he pecked the girls on the cheeks. �There are some things that shouldn�t be mentioned in front of ladies.�

�Thank your stars I�m not a lady,� Donny said.

Ron laughed and rolled his eyes. �I�m starved and mum�s had lunch ready since forever.� Changing the subject was always a grand idea when one spent time with the likes of Donatella Miller.

---------------------------------------

Blaise Zabini paced in front of the fireplace in the modish office he had been given when he had been promoted to Associate Chief Judicial Advocate. It was a lengthy title that no one cared about, least of all Blaise. It was just fun to say whenever he decided to hit on a woman with a generous rack and the invisible �gold-digger� written across her forehead.

�Mr. Zabini, Draco Malfoy is here to see you,� his dowdy secretary said from the doorway. �Can I show him in?�

Blaise nodded absently and continued his pacing.

�Unca Blaise!� Zane�s boyish voice resounded throughout the room. Blaise turned towards the speeding blur of four-year-old and caught him quickly.

�Zany Brainy!� Blaise laughed, hugging his godson close to his chest and watching the sperm-donor of his godson stride into the room with the usual bout of overconfidence that Blaise made fun of the most. �Have you been taking care of your dad, like I asked you to?�

�Yes, Unca Blaise,� Zane said. He took a deep breath and then proceeded to tell Blaise everything, everything that had happened since he and Draco left France.

�And then yesterday I played with Wolf on the swings and I fell and scaped my knee and I scaped it bad and Miss Her-mi-one fixed it all up for me and cleaned it up and gave it a kiss to make it feel all better!�

�This kid�s lips move a thousand kilometers a second,� Blaise muttered to Draco who smiled briefly.

�That sounds great, Zany Brainy,� Blaise told the eager child. �Now, why don�t you go sit with Margie and tell her all about your new school and your friend.�

Zane�s eyes widened and he shook his head, looking towards the door where the severe-looking secretary had shown them in. �She�s scary.�

Blaise bit back a laugh, completely agreeing with Zane.

�Big boys don�t get scared, Zane,� Draco recited. �You know that.�

�I�m a big boy,� Zane said.

�Then you shouldn�t be frightened of Margie.�

Zane hung his head in defeat. �Ok. Will she give me sweets?�

�I�ll give you a whole box of Bertie Bott�s when I�m finished speaking with your dad,� Blaise bribed.

Zane was out of the room at top speed; with the promise of jelly beans in his future even the she-beast known as Margie wasn�t an obstacle.

Once he was out of the room, Blaise took a seat behind his desk, across from Draco, who had seen better days.

�He gets bigger every time I see him,� Blaise started off.

Draco smiled slowly. �Children tend to do that. It�s an annoying habit.�

They laughed shortly, knowing that any humor was soon to fly out the window. �I think we should get right to it, Draco. So, I�ll start off.� He shuffled some papers on his desk and arranged a few quills in order of height. �Now, as I told you before, your ex-wife has filed a petition to gain full custody of Zane.�

�According to our divorce, I received full custody of him,� Draco interrupted.

Blaise nodded. �Yes, I know that. I was the one who helped you with your papers.�

�So, then how can she file for custody?�

�She�s Zane�s mother, Draco. It�s that simple.�

�But, she�s an idiot.�

Blaise smiled. �That�s obvious to anyone who�s ever spoken to her.�

�Blaise, what does this all mean? So, she files for custody? Don�t I automatically keep Zane because she gave up the custody in our divorce?�

�She did give up any responsibility towards Zane, so that�s why what she filed is called a petition. She filed a petition to fight for full custody.�

�Full custody? This is ludicrous. She doesn�t even like Zane.�

Blaise sighed and loosened the tie from around his neck. �What does Pansy love most in the world?�

�Besides herself?� Draco asked with an ungraceful snort. �I don�t know.�

�She loves spending money, if I recall correctly.�

Draco nodded. �You got that right. But I don�t see what this has to do with Zane.�

�If Pansy gets full custody of Zane, then you have to pay child support,� Blaise explained. �You make a lot of money in magitecture, Draco, and she knows that. Even with the recent loss of your family inheritance, you are exceedingly wealthy.�

�I should have given her more than ten percent during the divorce. I knew she was a greedy little newt-fart, but I didn�t think she would ever do something like this.�

�I still can�t believe you donated your entire inheritance�� Blaise started to say when Draco shot him a strict look. �But, that doesn�t matter now because we have to get this settled.�

�Explain this petition thing to me,� Draco said, leaning forward in his chair.

�Ok, so Pansy has filed the petition and she has six months to show the British Ministry of Magic�s Department of Social and Family Services that she can provide a stable home for Zane.�

�Oh, then we have nothing to worry about,� Draco sighed. �She�s living with her Italian lover and she doesn�t have a job, so there�s no possibility that they would grant her custody� Blaise, why are looking at me like that?�

�Pansy and Angelo D�Aggostino were married last week,� Blaise said, pulling out a copy of a marriage certificate from a pile of papers.

�Married?� Draco mouthed, unable to get his voice to work.

�It�s obvious that they want your money, Draco. We�re dealing with two people who know exactly what they�re doing. By getting married, they form a traditional family base for Zane to be a part of.�

�Are you telling me that they would give her custody just because she�s married?�

Blaise sighed and ran his well-manicured hand across his face. �Draco, I�m going to be completely honest with you. You�ve been my best mate for years and you�ve given me a godson that I love and you even designed my house. I�m going to tell you something that no other Judicial Advocate would tell you, but since I�m your friend, I�m going to help you out as much as I can.�

Draco nodded for Blaise to continue.

�The Ministry of Magic is a center of backwards, archaic, neo-conservative stiffs who want every magical person to be a part of this organized, traditional community. It�s the same in many muggle governments and it�s been this way since the beginning of time. Man plus wife plus two-point-five children in a nice two-story house with a white-picket fence wrapped around the yard. That�s their idea of normalcy.�

Draco furrowed his eyebrows but listened closely to Blaise. A fucking sociology lesson. Get to the point, Zabini.

�Now, divorce is a messy subject that no one likes to think about, so when we encounter it, we have no choice but to make the best out of the situation��

Blaise stopped talking and let out yet another sigh. �The Ministry of Magic wants their family units to be flawless. Divorces ruin that perfection and single parents ruin it even further.�

�They don�t like single parents?�

�No, they don�t. They believe that a child cannot be raised to their full capacity in a single-parent home.�

�That�s absolutely stupid. I know plenty of people who come from single-parent homes who have turned out better than people who have come from traditional families,� Draco ranted. �If the Ministry has such a problem with single parents, then why the hell haven�t they said anything before? I�ve been on my own with Zane for a month now.�

�They don�t have a problem with you raising Zane by yourself because Pansy gave up all rights to you. Now that she wants Zane back and can give him that traditional family, the Ministry is going to grant her that chance.�

�You said that she has to prove to the Ministry that she can provide a stable home for him and it takes six months?�

�Yes, they start next month with inspections of her home, observing her and her husband once a week, maybe even twice a week. They get interviewed, their employers get interviewed, their friends get interviewed��

�Who does the inspecting?�

�Domestic Ministry Professionals, DMP�s for short,� Blaise explained. �Now, Pansy has been employed in Paris with Versace, designing witch robes for their magic department��

�They have a magic department?� Draco interrupted, showing his dismal knowledge of muggle-magic interculture.

�Yes, and apparently she has some sort of talent with it, so she has a small, but steady income,� Blaise continued. �Her husband works as a translator for the Italian diplomat to France, also making a small but steady income.�

�What happened to the ten percent of my inheritance that they got? It was nearly 10,000 galleons. That should have lasted them for the next twenty-five years.�

�I�m sorry, have you not met Pansy before? You told me she bought a mirror that cost 100 galleons because it had authentic Dragon-scale leather trim and Veela charms. A hundred galleons could feed a large family for at least a month.�

Draco closed his eyes and stabbed his fingers through his hair. �Ok, so what happens to Zane?�

�Well, because you have legal custody of Zane, he stays with you until Pansy passes inspection��

�What are you not telling me, Blaise?�

Blaise shifted his eyes to the ceiling, taking a deep breath. �During these six months, you will also be inspected.�

�Of course, my luck being the way it is, of course I�m going to be inspected for six months.�

Blaise looked at Draco and took another deep breath. �You do know that as long as Pansy is married and you�re not, at the end of those six months, no matter how much the DMP sees what a good father you are, they�re going to give Zane to Pansy.�

�You can�t be serious,� Draco said. �She doesn�t even love her son. How can they possibly give him to her?�

�She poses as a traditional family that they yearn for. She can bullshit her way through the interviews claiming that she loves her son and they would have no choice but to believe her.�

�Blaise� I� I, hell, Blaise, I can�t lose my son!� Draco frantically exclaimed. �The way you�re making it sound, I�m going to be losing him in six months.�

Blaise frowned and stroked his chin slowly. �Draco, you do have one option available to you.�

�What? What is it? I�ll do anything,� Draco quickly said.

�Get married and provide that traditional family base for Zane� Blaise said.

Draco stared at his friend for one second� two seconds� three seconds� ten seconds. �Get married?�

�Yes, get married before they start the inspections and once they see you with Zane and they see that strong rapport you have with him, they�ll grant you full custody because then they�ll base their decision on who Zane is better off with.�

�So you�re saying if both Pansy and I are married, then they�ll base their decision on who makes the better parent? But how will they know how Pansy is as a parent if Zane is with me?�

�You haven�t noticed by now that the Ministry is a bureaucratic, incompetent machine? They just want to inspect her as a person and apparently, that�ll be the deciding factor in how she�s judged as a parent. Bunch of idiots, but they�re the idiots in power, so we have no choice.�

�Ok, ok� so six-month inspection period and I get to keep Zane throughout its entirety?�

�Yes, and once the six months are over and Pansy is still married to Anthony or whatever his name is, then she gets Zane.�

�But, if I get married, then I get to keep him?�

�You will most likely be granted full custody of Zane if you get married because you are an exceptional parent and that�s what they would base their decision on if you were married. They would interview you, your parents, Zane, of course, his teachers, me, and other people who interact with Zane.�

�Ok, so when do the inspections start?�

�Three weeks. Pansy filed the petition last week and they give a one-month grace period before they start the inspection routines.�

�Blaise, I have to get married,� Draco said quietly. �I can�t lose my son� I�ll get married and provide the stupid traditional base for him.�

�Draco, you�re not dating anyone, are you?� Blaise asked.

Draco shook his head distractedly, a thousand thoughts going through his head.

�Well, how on earth are you going to get married if you�re not even looking? You have three weeks to meet someone, fall in love, ask them to marry you, and then marry them. Let�s not forget you have a child, which brings down your single female selection down considerably��

�Oh, God� I can�t even think straight. How am I going to get married? Three weeks isn�t enough time,� Draco mumbled.

�Listen, mate, go sleep on this and then get back to me tomorrow,� Blaise said.

�I can�t tomorrow, I have to take Zane to school and then I have meetings all day with some new clients,� Draco sighed. �I�m so screwed, Blaise. I can�t believe I might actually lose him.�

�I�m sorry, Draco. It�s awful and the Ministry�s customs are outdated and downright stupid, but what can we do? Get back to me this weekend and hopefully one of us can figure something out before then.�

Draco nodded numbly, his mind collapsing with so many things attacking at once. One thought kept a cycle in his head: I might lose Zane.

�So, tell me, how does Zane like school so far?�

Draco couldn�t help but sigh, his head beginning to throb. �He�s having a blast. He likes his teacher, who just happens to be the one person in the world I hate more than Pot-smoker and Weasel del Rojo.�

Blaise laughed at the crazy names the two of them had come up with back in their sixth year. �Don�t tell me that Zane�s teacher is the mud� muggleborn, Granger.�

�None other,� Draco said dryly. �And she now comes fully loaded with ultra-bitch accessories and the holier-than-thou attitude that I can�t stand.�

Blaise laughed again. �Poor Draco.�

�Yeah, poor me. But Zane loves her because I�m starting to think she might have the kid possessed, I mean, seriously, how on earth does my child worship Granger? He talks about how nice she is and how she always says the nicest things to him and a bunch of other shit that I don�t like.�

Blaise shrugged. �Things change, mate. That�s life. You work with people you hate, you get to know them and turns out they�re not so bad.�

Draco raised an eyebrow.

�I�m not joking. Just last month I had to hire a new rookie Advocate for the medical malpractice department. Guess who it was.�

�I don�t know,� Draco said tiredly.

�It was that Loony bird. Luna Lovegood waltzes in here with a CV full of recommendations and excellent credentials. I give her an interview, she tells me about some psychedelic mushrooms or some shit and I hire her on the spot. She�s actually pretty competent when she�s not spouting her theories on whatsits and whosits.�

�The world must be coming to an end,� Draco smiled.

�You�re telling me?� Blaise smiled. �Now, go save your kid from my creature of a receptionist and owl me before the weekend. Talk it over with your parents and see if they have any ideas.�

Draco nodded and got up from his chair. His life couldn�t get any worse�

------------------------------------------

�So, Hermione, tell us how it�s going over at your school,� Molly Weasley asked as they all sat down to lunch.

�It�s going great, Mrs. Weasley. Donny and I are really enjoying the kids and we�re making such progress,� Hermione explained.

Ginny, sitting next to Hermione, cocked her head to the side. �Ok, remind me again why you�re a teacher. I�m sure you mentioned it before, but I don�t seem to remember. I mean, you�re the smartest person to graduate from Hogwarts and you end up being a teacher?�

Hermione stiffened and took a calming breath. �I�m sure you meant no offense, Ginny, but I think what I do is intellectually enlightening. I don�t know who came up with the idiot notion that an educator can�t be a smart person. Wouldn�t you feel comfortable knowing that your child is learning from someone with above average intelligence?�

�That was a stupid thing to say, Ginny. I bet you wouldn�t last a day doing what Donny and Hermione do,� Harry spat from across the table.

Ginny felt her cheeks warm in embarrassment and anger. �Do us a favor, Harry, and shut up.� She turned to Hermione. �I really didn�t mean to offend you, Hermione. I just wondered why you chose to open a barely successful school when you could have worked as a Healer or an Auror.�

Hermione suppressed the urge to roll her eyes. �None of those things interested me. I like molding the minds of children and working with them on a daily basis. They have innocence and a passion, a certain eagerness to learn that astonishes me. I�ve studied long and hard to start the school. I still read journals and documents on the advances in developmental studies and educational progress, so no one can accuse me of lowering myself for a job I really love.�

�Well said, dear,� Arthur Weasley said. �I completely agree with her. If only people didn�t hold such ridiculous notions about the teaching profession, then that would be wonderful.�

�Oh, I almost forgot,� Harry said, ignoring the glare Ginny was sending his way. �I was on an assignment with Tonks a few days ago and she mentioned something about Wolf being friends with Draco Malfoy�s kid. Was she serious?�

Hermione nodded slowly. �Yes, it�s true that Wolf is really good friends with Zane Malfoy. But you forget the fact that they are cousins. They have every right to be friends.�

�But didn�t Malfoy completely freak? And when did he come back to England? I thought he was over on the continent.�

�He moved here about a month ago and enrolled Zane at our school. Despite what you might think, Zane�s an exceptional child and his father surprisingly had no problem with him being friends with Wolf. I think becoming a parent has changed some of his scruples.�

�So, you teach his kid?�

�No, we hang him from the ceiling and let the other children whack him with sticks,� Donny said. �It teaches them discipline.�

Hermione shook her head. �Yes, I teach him and like I said before, he�s a wonderful child who is nothing like his father.�

�Well, that just blows for you,� Ron said sympathetically. �If I had to talk to Malfoy again, I�d probably end up killing him.�

�Trust me, I�ve come close,� Hermione muttered.

They all laughed and soon went on to talk about safer subjects, avoiding setting off a spark between Harry and Ginny, although Donny tried hard to. She confessed to Hermione that her television set was broken and that she couldn�t watch any of her daytime dramas.

----------------------------------------

Lucius and Narcissa listened closely as their son paced in front of the massive fireplace in their sitting room, relaying everything he had been told by Blaise three days ago.

�What am I going to do?� Draco sighed, leaning against the wall. �I can�t let her have him!�

�Draco, darling, sit down and let�s think this out,� Narcissa said softly.

�How am I going to get married in three weeks? I haven�t dated since God-knows-when� who am I going to find who will marry me with a kid under my belt?�

�Stop talking so fast, Draco. You sound like Zane,� Lucius said calmly.

�Why can�t you take these six months to find a wife? Does it have to be in these next three weeks?� Narcissa asked.

�They are going to start the examinations in three weeks. I spoke to Blaise again and he said my chances will increase if I�m already married by the time they start.�

�That does make sense. If they want to see a classic family unit, then it would be better from the beginning,� Narcissa nodded. �This is all so absurd, though. I think we�re all providing Zane with a wonderful childhood.�

�I need to get married,� Draco muttered. �How on earth am I supposed to get married? How am I going to get some bird to fall in love with me in three weeks and then agree to marry me and help take care of my child?�

Lucius sat quietly for a second and looked between his wife and son. �I think I might have a suggestion that could help.�

�What is it?� Draco asked.

�Why does it have to be a real marriage? Why not have someone pretend to be your wife?�

�The DMPs check up on all my records. They would know if I wasn�t really married,� Draco sighed, his hopes deflating quickly.

�Yes, I understand that,� Lucius continued. �Why don�t you make it into a business transaction?�

�You mean, pay someone to act as my wife for six months?�

�Exactly. Money solves many of our problems.�

�I see your point, let me just stop by Wives R� Us on my way home and pick one up,� Draco retorted.

�Your father is on to something,� Narcissa nodded slowly. �Find a friend, someone who would do you this favor and act as your wife and mother to Zane for six months. Strike up a deal with her and at the end of the six months, after you�ve been awarded full, legal custody of Zane, then you can file for a divorce and go on your separate ways.�

Draco stayed quiet, absorbing his parents� suggestions.

�I don�t have any female friends,� he said. �I have female employees and acquaintances, but none that would agree to marry me for six months. Plus, how can I do this to Zane? I can�t bring a woman into our lives and then expect him to be unaffected. What if he becomes attached to her?�

�I have an idea, Draco, and hear it out before you say anything. It solves almost all of your problems,� Lucius said.

�You�re speaking as if I�m not going to like this idea,� Draco said cautiously, understanding his father�s strange tone.

�You need to marry Hermione Granger.�

I need to stop gifting him Vodka for Christmas.

�This isn�t a time for jokes, father. We need to stay focused and you need to lay off the liquor,� Draco said.

Lucius raised an eyebrow in annoyance. �You need to marry her because Zane is already familiar with her, likes her, and wouldn�t be affected when she leaves because he sees her every day at school.�

�Good point, oh, but wait, there�s the small problem of us hating each other to the point where I want to throw a nice unforgivable at her and then pop some popcorn and watch as she suffers.�

�Business arrangement, Draco,� Narcissa said. �Pay her.�

�Despite my previous rants and opinions, she�s not a prostitute,� Draco said.

�You�re not paying her to sleep with you, dear. You�d be paying her to help you out, to help Zane out. I heard that her school wasn�t doing so well��

�Where�d you hear that from?�

�The ladies in my social circles are such blabs and some of their husbands work at Gringott�s. I heard that the school could be shutting down in the next few months due to lack of enrollment and lack of funds.�

Draco swallowed. �She needs money, then.�

�That�s right, and you can give it to her. All she has to do is marry you, pretend to be your wife, live in your house, pass inspections and help you raise Zane.�

�She can�t be that desperate for money,� Draco mumbled.

�I think you need to do what�s best for Zane. You need to put all your emotions aside and focus on what needs to be done so that the female version of Nosferatu you call an ex-wife doesn�t end up with custody of your child.�

�I thought you two hated Granger,� Draco slowly said.

�She�s an annoying little chit who thinks she knows everything there is to know about everything� but, she is also great with Zane and he�s crazy about her. I only recommend her because I do not want you to lose custody of my grandson,� Lucius explained.

�This is crazy� insane,� Draco said, slumping down into an armchair.

�So, you have to talk to her, tell her what�s going on, and explain that it will strictly be a business deal: her services and playacting in exchange for an immense monetary gain. You can give her as much as it would take to keep her school open for the next several years� and that�s just the money you make from your career.�

Draco narrowed his eyes at his parents, warning them not to chastise him about what he had done with his inheritance.

�Darling, if there were any other reasonable options we would encourage you to take them, but since this makes the most sense, we want you to consider it.�

Draco nodded with a huge sigh. �I wish it wasn�t the most reasonable option. But, after hearing your explanation, it seems that the frizzy phantom is my only choice.�

�It won�t be so bad, dear. You are both adults and I seem to think she cares greatly for Zane. You have to make a few changes, yes, such as ceasing with the name-calling and you have to learn to pick your battles. Not every little thing should turn into an argument.�

�Wait, she hasn�t even agreed to this and I�m telling you now, that she probably won�t. This is ridiculous, she�s not going to want to move into my home, marry me, and raise my son. She has a life of her own. How do we know she�s not dating someone? Married to someone else?�

�Well, go ask her, you dolt. It�s the only way you�ll ever find out. If that turns out to be the case, then we�ll think of someone else who will be nice enough to help us out,� Lucius said.

�Fine, fine� God, I hate this,� he said softly.

They all turned their heads when they heard a quiet knock at the door.

Zane�s head poked into the room and he smiled at the three adults. �Can I come in, now?�

Draco nodded and Zane ran to his father and jumped into his lap. �I was bored, daddy. The house-elves wouldn�t play hide-and-peek with me right. They kept cheating!�

Draco smiled down at his son who was explaining how the house-elves were all hiding together in the same place and helping their young master by making noises.

Looking at him, he knew that he would never, ever give Pansy the chance to take him away. He would fight for him until he had nothing left� and if that meant he had to marry the one person he hated more than anything in the world, then he would do it. All he could do now was hope that she would agree to his plan.

Fat chance� now where did my father hide the Vodka?

----------------------------------------

�I had a lot of fun, Hermione. Thanks for inviting me along,� Donny said as she stood in the doorway of Hermione�s flat.

�I�m glad you agreed to come with me,� Hermione laughed. �I love Ginny, but sometimes her mouth works faster than her brain, so she ends up saying things that aren�t entirely nice.�

�Like how she couldn�t fathom how such a smart person could even consider working such a simple profession?� Donny asked with a hint of acrimony. �I mean, seriously. We so rock and whoever doesn�t like what we do can kiss our f��

Hermione hugged Donny tight, preventing her from finishing her sentence. �Goodnight, Don. Apparate safely.�

�I�ll try not to land in an industrial sized dustbin,� Donny smiled, bringing up the one time Hermione had found herself surrounded by rubbish.

�It was one time!� Hermione said, laughing gaily. �I was just a teeny bit tipsy from Remus and Tonks� wedding and I was having trouble with the three D�s. That�s all.�

�Yeah, whatev,� Donny said, waving as she backed out of the door. �Goodnight, rubbish Queen!�

Hermione laughed, shaking her head as her friend disappeared down the empty hall of her building. She closed the door behind her and took a deep, satisfied breath. It had been a nice day, enjoying lunch and dinner with the Weasleys, catching up on everything and everyone.

It was enough to make her forget her troubles�

She looked towards the coffee table, which served as a desk in her one-bedroom flat. It was a modest place, plainly furnished with nothing fancy. Simple and minimalist summed up her abode.

On the coffee table lay a stack of parchments and bills that she needed to have taken care of before the month was over. One of the older students that Donny taught had moved to Ontario the previous week, so they had lost the tuition that could have helped pay for one of the many things that needed to be paid.

If only the stupid magical world wasn�t so set in its ways! People need to understand that young children can thrive in a learning environment and can learn so many social habits and basic primary principles by being in an educational institution. Sure, there�s nothing wrong with being taught at home� but damn, I do wish I had more students.

She sat down and checked the clock on the wall� almost nine o� clock. Soon, she�d be heading to take a shower to wash away all the stresses of the day.

A sudden knock at her door had her furrow her brows in confusion. Did Don leave something here? She asked herself as she looked around her flat, walking towards the door.

She looked through the peephole and did a double-take, bumping her head against the door in the process. Lovely.

She didn�t exactly believe what her eyes were relaying to her mind. It seemed as if Draco Malfoy was standing outside her door. He did look mighty funny through the distorted, concave glass of the peephole. But, now was not a time to move her head in different angles to see his facial features change sizes.

She hesitantly opened the door and stood staring at him, unsure of what to say.

�Malfoy?� she finally said. Not her best speech, but it would do.

�Hi, yes, um hello, Granger,� he said.

Goodness, he seemed almost nervous. There was something she thought she�d never see.

�Hello,� she replied carefully. God, this is w-ei-rd! �How did you know where I lived?�

Draco looked at her as if he had just noticed her standing there. �You�re listed.�

�Oh,� she said quietly. �Well, can I help you? Wait, where�s Zane? Is he ok?�

Draco stared at his nails. �Yes, he�s fine. He�s spending the night with my parents.� She wasn�t making this easier. She really cared about his son. Cripes, he had no other choice.

�Ok, that�s good,� she said, smoothing down the knee-length denim skirt she wore. What the hell does he want?

They stood there for a few seconds, neither of them saying anything, neither one of them looking at the other.

Finally, Draco lifted his head up and looked directly at her.

�Will you marry me?�
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A Wonderful Caricature of Intimacy