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Jealous Proposal	By : CodyMThomas Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Snape Views: 29642 -:- Recommendations : 3 -:- Currently Reading : 11
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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A/N: MAJORLY IMPORTANT UPDATE!!!!!!

I KNOW I promised only a week before updating the next chapter of Jealous Proposal, and no I didn't forget and I HAVE written it, the issue is we had a house break-in earlier this week and 2 of the things the thieves took was our modem and wireless router. and other things I won't list because I'll just get ticked off again. :( Luckily I took my laptop to work with me that day so the story wasn't lost, BUT I currently have no way of getting it from the laptop onto the internet or even to the desktop (Which isn't mine and doesn't even possess a writing program for me to type it up here, since it is a high end graphics computer and my love is letting me use it to write this to you out of the goodness of her heart.) As soon as we replace the router or get hold of a thumb drive we'll be back in business, since I don't even have access to a nearby place with free wifi so I can email the story to a friend's computer. Sorry for the delay, but in the meantime I will work on the other chapters and get a head start on more stuff to share with you guys. Sorry for the unexpected glitch, and I will post a full update soon. Peace! --- Cody Thomas

END OF MAJORLY IMPORTANT UPDATE

Chapter 5 warnings: Minor2, Toys (mentioned)

Chapter 5: Memories

Severus lay awake after Harry had left, the room felt like all the light and warmth had seeped out of it. He had come to loathe his rooms when Harry wasn't in them. It was hard to believe that so many years had already passed for them. He remembered how impossible the boy had been at first, teenage hormones were an absolutely infuriating thing all on their own, but paired with the situation they nearly became deadly. He still liked to remember how this whole thing had started. Harry had cornered him with, at the time, the most ridiculous declaration at the end of a detention in his fifth year.

"Mind repeating that Potter?"

"You heard me! I said I love you!"

"I know we may have gotten on better of late Potter, but you are delusional to confuse mentorship and romance. I don't care how unloved your childhood might have been, it should be common sense that positive attention doesn't equate to deeper feelings or even affection. Any of your adoring fans will be more then happy to shower you with attention and disgusting simpering romance. Go find one of them to foist your unwanted attentions on."

"I don't want them! I want you! Why won't you listen?!"

"Because you are acting insane. What exactly do you find so fetching? I am not young, nor handsome, nor kind, and I do not 'clean up well'. I am every bit the mean, bitter, cantankerous, greasy git I seem, and nothing is going to change that."

"I don't care! In fact I LIKE you that way. I like the snark and the sarcasm and all the rest of it because it's YOU."

"Get this through your thick head you hormonally poisoned moronic excuse for an adolescent. You are Out. Of. Your. Mind. Whatever rose colored fantasy of me you've schemed up in that head of yours is completely inaccurate. I am NOT a nice man!"

"No, you're not, but you're a good man."

"If my only redeeming quality is that I'm 'a good man' I fail to see why you are so attracted."

"I don't know, but I'm used to good things in my life not always making sense, aren't you? You're a good man Severus Snape, best I know in fact."

"Oh really? This should be interesting. "

"I'm serious! You're braver than I could ever hope to be. I just skirt the edges of the ice, you tap dance on it. You walk straight into Voldemort's circle and lie to his face while surrounded by people who would happily kill you if you mistepped. You're strong, you're always honest with me, and one of the only people who treats me like a person, not an object to be admired. Brave, honest, smart, talented, grounded, and a good man. You sound like a pretty decent bloke to me."

And then the boy had kissed him. And noticed that Severus didn't exactly try very hard to pull away. To this day Snape declared that it was merely shock that had made him freeze up.

"You're crazy Potter." He'd growled when those lips that had felt so warm and soft and entirely too trusting and innocent for either of their own good had pulled away and he'd had the momentary desire to follow them back to their source and coax another kiss out of them, but thankfully his will power was stronger than that.

The boy had grinned up at him like Snape had just handed him an early Christmas present.

"Probably, but that's not gonna stop me. Look me in the eye and tell me you feel nothing for me and mean it and I'll leave you alone and you can even pretend like I didn't just kiss you, and you didn't hex me into oblivion for it."

Severus had tried, honestly he had, he'd glared Potter down with a stare that had on more than one occasion made a first year wet themselves after screwing up the simplest of potions, but he said nothing. Harry smiled, and that had loosened his tongue. "This is pointless Potter, I can lie to the Dark Lord's face, so why would I waste my words on someone without ears and obviously no brain? You have no reason to keep up this ridiculous prank, or dare, or whatever this is. You kissed your teacher, congratulations, go brag about your accomplishment to your friends and leave me alone."

The look of devastating hurt that had crossed the boy's face was so painful to see that Snape felt an uncomfortable lump in his throat and found himself clenching his teeth and biting his tongue to keep himself from apologizing. Graceful exit be damned, he turned to leave and just get away from those damning green eyes, but Harry caught his arm, and pulled him back, and then kissed him again. He felt helpless, and hopeful, and maybe just the tiniest bit frightened by the warmth that had spread all over him. He didn't even feel Potter pull away.

"I would never use a person's feelings as a way to hurt someone, and I would never tell somebody I loved them as a joke. I could never do that, ever. You said I don't have a 'reason' to love you, big deal, I love you, and unless you honestly push me away or say you don't want me, I'm staying. Deal with it."

And he did. After the truce and the mentorship and the psudo friendship, it was surprisingly easy to get closer to Potter, like it was simply the next natural step for both of them. And while Snape was both unused to the closeness of another person, and the fact that Harry wanted to be held as often as possible, he admitted at least to himself that he liked being the one Harry turned to, relied on, trusted, and greeted with a smile when they were alone. Harry made him feel alive and worth something, more than a spy or a servant or a teacher or a traitor, he made him feel like a human, not a title, and that meant something to Severus.

But about 4 months after this tentative relationship started, it nearly ended in disaster when Harry had once more taken the initiative and literally tried seducing him. It wasn't that he didn't find the boy attractive, but still, he was a boy, not a man. There were very good and strict laws about such things that Severus happened to agree with wholeheartedly. No matter how he felt, Harry was still underage, and Snape himself was many things, but not a monster. When he'd recoiled in horror and physically pushed Harry away from him when the 15 year old had tried to slip his hand down his slacks, the rejection was not well received and Snape was quickly reminded on just how short fused and raging the boy's temper truly was.

There had been an explosive fight and Snape's moral high ground was just not considered a good enough excuse by Harry for such blatant rejection. At the time Severus was still unaware about how desperate the boy was for love and acceptance, and if he could have done things differently he would have done anything to prevent the pained, doubtful glance that Harry had sometimes gotten in his eyes over the next two years because of that fight, but in the end he was glad he hadn't budged on his stance. Harry hadn't spoken to him for a whole two weeks, until Severus realized that he had to be the one to be the true adult and show Harry the full picture, and not just the hormonally poisoned tunnel vision that all teenagers seemed to be trapped in. Admitting his feelings on that level however was not something that he was entirely comfortable with.

He'd sent the boy an anonymous note stating only that they needed to talk and gave a time, knowing Harry would know where to meet. Part of him was worried that Harry would be stubborn and refuse to come out of spite. The hours before the meeting were nerve-wracking for Severus, although he would never admit it. When Harry showed up Severus could have breathed a sigh of relief. He restrained himself. Even though he knew Harry was still mad at him it didn't stop him from pulling the young man to him and kissing him in greeting. Harry only let it continue for a moment before pulling away, eyes hurt and angry.

"What, so now you want me? What made you change your mind about wanting such a little boy?"

"Nothing Harry, nothing has changed, and I don't think of you that way, unless of course you insist on continuing to act like one. If you want me to treat you like an adult then for Merlin's sake act like one and not a petulant child who's pouting because they didn't get their way."

Harry had clenched his teeth together and managed to hold back whatever biting retort he had, finally managing to growl out "What did you want to talk about?"

Knowing they wouldn't get anywhere if he didn't manage to calm down Harry's temper first, he gestured for Harry to sit down and summoned him an ice cold bottle of butterbeer and poured a decent serving of amaretto for himself. After the third or fourth sip of the smooth almond flavored liquor, he felt more relaxed and managed to pull his thoughts together.

"Alright, I want you to let me talk without interruptions, and then if by the time I'm done talking you don't understand the full severity of exactly what this relationship entails, then we will have an equally serious conversation on whether continuing this relationship at all is good for either one of us. Agreed?"

Harry had swallowed harshly, took a swig of butterbeer, and nodded.

"Alright then. You say I'm treating you like a child by my refusal to sleep with you, well Harry I hate to break it to you, but no matter how mature you act or how Dumbledore or anyone else treats you, you ARE a child, especially in the eyes of the law. There are no less than twenty seven laws regarding relationships with minors, and even though in our world you come of age a whole year before the muggles, you are still two years away from being legal in the wizarding world. I would be breaking almost every one of those laws if I slept with you. And I know a forbidden romance seems romantic and exciting to you, but it's not, it's illegal, and as much as I believe you wouldn't tell anyone, we couldn't hide it Harry.

   As a minor you still have the Trace on you to detect underage magic, that bond also serves another purpose, to make sure that your growing magical core doesn't become tainted, and if it does, it points a finger directly to the person who was responsible. When witches and wizards have sex their magical signatures mix as well, so the next time you went to Poppy for one of your endless injuries she would see your core, immediately be able to detect that the other signature entwined with it had no Trace, meaning the person was of legal age and be required by law to notify the headmaster and the aurors that you had been raped.

   It doesn't matter if it was consensual or not, sex with a minor in any form is illegal. I would be arrested and sent to Azkaban for a minimum of 20 years, and when I got out I would be forced to register as a sex offender, lose any hope of regaining my teaching job, and any good reputation I might have left. Finding any sort of work would become nearly impossible.

   And even if we somehow managed to keep it secret, I still wouldn't take that chance. You don't live the kind of life I have by taking stupid chances. Besides, how long do you expect this thing between us to last? A few months? A couple of years? Or are you somehow picturing us surviving the entire deadly insanity that is our lives until we're dottering old men who keep misplacing our spectacles and teeth? How ever it plays out, do you really want that stain lingering like a shadow over everything, tarnishing every memory anytime someone sees your tainted core and it says I raped you, even though to you it wasn't rape?"

He had taken a breath, the next part was so hard for him to say, but he needed Harry to understand...

    "I know it seemed cold of me to push you away like I did, but I had my reasons. I care about you Harry, enough that I will not touch you until it is legal, because I believe you are worth waiting for. You say you are in love with me, but do you love me enough to wait? To wait two years until you are of age and no one can object?"

He barely got to finish before he had his arms full of Harry who clung to him so tightly it was actually hard to breathe. They didn't say anything for a long time, Severus just held Harry who seemed to either be crying, or trying NOT to cry so hard that he was shaking. Severus just held him.

"Is that a yes?" He finally asked and Harry nodded into his shoulder. Severus had quietly smiled and held Harry a bit closer.

When Harry finally pulled away the boy had ducked his head to hide his face. "So what does that mean exactly? 'No sex?' What's the definition of that? Just no penetration or-"

"No Harry, no sexual contact at all. No penetration, blowjobs, hand jobs, fingering, frottage, or even french kissing. No touch that can arouse us to the point our magical auras try to mingle until you are 17. Can you accept that?"

Harry had sighed and rested his head on his shoulder. "The next two years are going to suck."

"Then perhaps we can amuse ourselves with other things that do not break the rules."

"Like what?"

"We don't know each other very well yet, so we can learn about each other. There's always teaching you things that would never be taught here, and if you are agreeable, role playing."

That had led to an extremely interesting conversation of what role playing was, and once he tried it Harry had taken to it almost faster than he had taken to quidditch. Severus meanwhile had the interesting and unique challenge of coming up with scenarios that would be fun and freeing for Harry yet still remain completely non-sexual. It was difficult at times, but he managed.

Harry'd had it worse than Severus did, rampaging teenage hormones and all, but his lover introducing him to sex toys spared both of them from breaking any of the rules, and took the edge off for Harry. Severus only had two rules about them, Harry couldn't use them to tease him, and if he got caught with them he had to say that he had bought them himself and accept whatever consequences arose from that.

Harry had only broken a rule once. The night before summer vacation started at the end of his sixth year he had come down to Severus's rooms and given the man a private viewing to show him just how much he had learned with the toys. "Just so you don't forget about me over the summer, and to know what you're welcome to come and get in a month and a half, because I want YOU as my 17th birthday present."

Severus had never found himself counting down the days before then, but afterwards he had become achingly aware of how much time was left until Harry was a legal adult and could finally be completely his. He had even made sure to come up with a plausible reason to stay at headquarters the day of and the day after Harry's birthday. It had been a far more than memorable couple of days, and the way Harry had glowed with happiness had proven to Severus that Harry also thought it had been well worth the wait. The young man had barely let him have a moments rest ever since, and Severus found that he didn't mind Harry's enthusiasm at all, in fact it made him feel years younger and also had distinctly unique effect of making him feel wanted, desired... sexy, which were all feelings he could honestly said no one but Harry had ever managed to make him feel.

Perhaps that was why he'd been so bold as to slide a bonding ring on Harry's hand the night before, even knowing what an uproar it would cause if anyone found out. But Harry was his and he'd wanted to prove it, especially when he'd watched Ms. Brown walk straight up to Harry, tap him on the shoulder, and then kiss him on the lips. Severus knew it was either a joke or a dare, he knew Harry had no interest in her, or anyone else for that matter. But it had still taken every shred of his willpower not to swoop down on her and disfigure her face irreparably and then rip off her arms for good measure.

He had wanted to ask Harry after he had graduated, once they had lived together for awhile and the time felt right, but seeing that kiss had made him realize that even though Harry would never stray, unless there was proof he was attached everyone else would still consider him fair game, and Snape wanted to stay out of Azkaban.

When Harry had been in his arms that night, he couldn't stop himself. He hoped that Harry would say yes, that he would understand what such a ring meant, and if he wasn't ready to go that far because of how young he was, to downplay it saying it was merely a token, a promise of one day, when Harry was ready. His lover had taken it as an engagement ring though, which wasn't true, but still more than acceptable to Snape since he'd still accepted. The trick now though, was to try and figure out just how to tell Harry the full implications of the ring before someone else did.

The memory of Harry's smile brought some of the warmth back into the room, and Severus was finally able to close his eyes and fall asleep.

A/N: I LOVE writing Snape, seriously, I have so much fun making him stoic outside but complex inside.

Ooooh what's the full story on the ring? I have no clue, ask the rabid plot bunny biting my ass what it's doing, I'm just typing what my captor tells me to.
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Jealous Proposal