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A Better Fate COMPLETE	By : FemmeBono Category: HP Canon Characters paired with Original Characters > Het - Male/Female Views: 3299 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Cht. 5, Plumbing the Depths

Many months later, well after Midsummer, when the nights had turned chilly and frost threatened, Severus finished his day of helping with the harvest by sharing a meal in the great hall under the base of the huge oak he had come to call home. He studied Cian over the remains of a large loaf of brown bread and a near empty platter of broiled haddock. The boy�s eyes traveled across the tables to a row of women seated with their backs to the men. Following Cian�s gaze, Severus stifled the urge to groan when he realized the lad was watching the Granger girl. He could not, however, stop himself from raising a disdainful brow.

�Ah, now, Severus,� laughed Cian, realizing he had been caught. �Sure you can�t blame me for appreciating a fine face and form.�

�It seems the separation to avoid distraction does not help in your case,� Snape replied acerbically.

�And I would claim that it does, my good friend,� smiled Cian. �Leastways your tricks are still taking a bit to get through. Though I must say you�re coming along quite rapidly these days.�

�Felled you yesterday, did I not,� Severus smiled wryly.

�That you did,� Cian nodded genially. �You�ve gotten stronger as well, quicker than ever you were, and you were no idler to begin with and that�s true enough.�

�Sir! Mister Snape--I mean�S-Severus,� said a boy about the age of a first year who came rushing up to the table.

Though he just barely cleared Snape�s shoulder and had a tendency to want to treat his elders deferentially--despite being levels above them magically--this sandy-haired boy with the impish grin had blown them all away at archery just that morning. Point of fact, he had corrected Severus� stance and helped improve his aim.

�Tristan, isn�t it,� Snape asked idly, turning to face the child. �What do you need, boy?�

�The lady Scathach bid me to bring you to her when you had sufficient time to digest. It�s now been nearly half an hour since. Will you come?�

�I suppose I�ll have to won�t I,� he replied, standing and stepping over the bench as he followed Tristan to the door.

Tristan turned back a moment as they reached the entrance to the tree, a large hole dug out between roots just big enough for a average sized man to walk through comfortably. Snape ducked his head a bit to get out and nearly ran smack into the boy who looked as if he were about to ask a question that might get his hand rapped.

�Yes?� Severus asked warily.

�Do you ever answer a question with a direct answer?�

Severus quirked an eyebrow at this and drew himself up, crossing his arms. �On occasion.�

Tristan simply smiled, a dimple winking at the corner of his mouth, and turned to traipse off around the side of the oak and onto a narrow path that led to a part of the forest he had not yet been into. �You�re funny, Severus, you know that?� he threw back over his shoulder.

Severus followed him closely into the darkest part of the forest. Yet even now he saw the winking lights of fairy babes just off the path over bushes and up in trees. The little sprites were no longer shy of him and flew in close to grin with dimply faces not much different from Tristan�s. He knew that these were the eyes he had felt when he first entered the world of the fae, and now, unlike his initial trip into this enchanted land he knew like Tristan, Lasair, and the others how to walk silently. He had come to understand that it was not stealth, but a kind of reverence. They came up over a slight incline while Severus was lost in thought and on cresting over it, he was surprised to find himself at a very small pond ringed partway around by toadstools and trees. The pond itself made a slight crescent shape, for it was cut into by a large rocky hill at the foot of which sat Scathach.

�Thank you Tristan for bringing him,� the lady smiled as the boy tipped a short bow and left, nearly scampering happily away again down the path. �Be seated with me, Severus. Have a cuppa, won�t you? The evening is still early.�

She gestured to a small boulder across from the one on which she sat. On a small flat place on top sat a cup and saucer that matched one she held in her lap, both cobalt blue and ringed around the lip with gold.

Severus leaned a hip against the rock and tried furtively to sniff the concoction. Scathach surprised him with laughter, full-bodied and rich. �Ever the suspicious potioner, you are. There is very little in it you would worry about. But I�m curious, Severus, what do you detect?�

Somewhat sheepishly, Severus lifted a shoulder and rattled off what he could divine simply from smell. �Strong smell of bay, cinnamon, something flowery under it, and something bitter��

�Lavender and of course, mugwort. The other herbs take the bite out of the mugwort a bit, I find.�
�This sounds like a brew Trelawney would take, not me.�

Scathach chuckled and raised a knee, clasping her hands around it. �If Trelawney were not so full of her own virtue and could get out of her own way, she may actually See with it, too. As it happens, that brew only enhances what is already naturally there. The most that usually holds anyone back, Muggles included, are their own fears.�

�Drink up, Severus,� she added, �for you have much to see.�

She lifted her cup without another word and took a strong sip, watching him over the rim as he did the same. Then the lady�s gaze drifted over to the water�s edge, as it gleamed with moonlight from overhead. The waxing crescent was as clear and crisp as the night itself. A chill had settled since the light had gone, and Severus was thankful for the warm cup in his hands. Before morning, he was sure, there was likely to be snow. Truly, as closely as he was living to the earth these days, he felt as if he felt the changes and rhythms of it better than ever he had.

The two sat in a companionable silence at the water�s edge, their faces illuminated by the moon and the sparkling of infant pixies. Severus realized that here, so far from all he had known, he felt a soul-deep peace and contentment that he had never had in his life.

�What is this place?� he breathed, his eyes closing as he took in the sounds of night around them.

�It is Caer spring,� replied Scathach quietly. �It is a restful place. One you will know intimately after tonight.�

As she spoke, she rose, and Severus followed suit albeit warily at her pronouncement.

�Tonight Severus you voyage to the Underworld to bring back knowledge from the sacred well. I will stand guard here while you venture forth, through the spring and back again.�

�I have to go into the water? Here?�

�Yes. You may disrobe behind a tree if you wish. I�ll preserve your modesty and not watch, I assure you.� She grinned as if amused by her own cheek. Severus, however, was not.

�You want me to dive in starkers? As cold as it is? You�re mad!�

�And to that I can assure you, I am not. No fear, Severus. For earlier tonight, Miss Granger made the voyage as well and my brave little lioness was not near so timid.�

Scathach tilted her head as if chiding him, then watched as he grumbled his way around the nearest bush, a large hawthorn, and began stripping down. He draped his shift and trousers over the branches to keep them clean and dry. Grudgingly he took off even his pants, as he had a feeling he was to go into the Underworld with nothing of this world.

With extreme ill humor he dipped a toe into the water, expecting an icy shock. To his surprise, though, he found that it was quite warm. For the first time, he noticed tendrils of steam rising off the water�s surface and breathed a sigh of relief before stepping carefully onto the rocky bottom. He looked over to the side of the spring where he had left Scathach, to see her shift back on the boulder to lean against a tree, a twinkling fairy babe in the palm of her hand.

As he neared the center of the pond the ground dropped off sharply enough that he had to tread water. Unable to procrastinate any longer and unwilling to ask exactly what he should look for, Severus took a deep breath and submerged himself.

When he opened his eyes Severus could see warmer water streaming up through fissures in the rock below. He glided through the water, taking pleasure in the feel of it flowing across his skin, the warmth of it easing the tension out of his muscles. So relaxing was the feeling that he was tempted to float and forget the task he was charged to do. Before he could yield to that temptation, however, he spied a dark opening in the base of the hill. It was surprising, for he did not expect a literal entrance anywhere. Never one to back down though, Severus swam through the crevasse and through a short tunnel straight for the glowing light he could see beyond.

On breaking the surface, Severus realized that he had come out into an underground chamber. It was dark, except for a single candle on a ledge nearby. There too, waiting in the center of the cavern was Lasair.

�Welcome Severus,� she smiled. �Mother will be waiting for your safe return, but for now, you are in my realm. The realm of mystery and the Underworld is the realm of dreams and visions, things you magical people seem to take very lightly considering what use they can be.�

�Dreams and visions are both fleeting and almost impossible to grasp,� Severus replied disparagingly.

�Yet as you wish to be skilled in all aspects of war you should be prepared to use any and all abilities to your advantage, is that not correct?�

�Certainly, but--�

�Then this is one more, and the more sharply honed it is, the easier it will come to you. The practiced you are, the more crystalline the images are; the more faith you have in your abilities, strangely enough, the more accurate they become. Are you ready to try?�

�What am I to see?�
�Whatever comes.�

Severus took a deep breath, reminding himself that he did not back down from any challenge from anyone, let alone this slip of a girl who left him shivering with barely suppressed want. He was also vary aware of his nakedness and though her eyes had not traveled down, he was sure she had not missed his perceptible reaction to seeing her before him. He turned when she gestured to the candle gleaming against the wall and stepped over to it, more in an effort to hide his discomfort than to see what lay in store.

When he got there however, he saw a small pool of water with the light reflected on its surface. At the sound of her voice so close behind he nearly jumped, but years of training kept him in check and for this he was silently thankful.

�This pool is excellent for scrying, Severus. Here you can empty your mind of all and sundry.�

Severus gazed for several moments into the flickering flame on the surface of the pool. He tried emptying his mind of things that flitted through, but the more he tried, the more thoughts came to the forefront, clouding the image of the candle. He attempted then to focus on the candle and found that staring at it made his eyes dry and start to water. Eventually, he got tired of the whole charade and relaxed. When he did, his eyes unfocused and the shifting of the flame took on the appearance of a wavering dance. It looked like people walking, side by side, and slowly changed to be just that.

He saw himself walking the darkened corridors of Hogwarts, striding alongside Lucius Malfoy as they dipped into an alcove and Lucius pulled up his sleeve to show Severus a writhing serpent on his arm. He felt the ardent jealousy of his boy self and the pang of loneliness, a sharp desire for belonging.

Then the scene shifted again to a nursery, where the outline of a woman�s body had been taped across the floor, similar to the man�s outline downstairs at the doorway. A little stuffed bear lay on the floor beside a crib and Severus felt a sharp stab of grief at the friend he had lost and the family he felt he had betrayed.

When he looked up, he stood on the banks of the dark lake back at Hogwarts again and there was Lily beside him. She looked older than when he�d seen her last, with the barest traces of lines around her eyes. Her hair was cut differently, and he was certain this must have been how she looked when she died, yet here she was smiling up at him.

�You�ve been busy,� she said smiling at her own understatement.

�Lily, I�m sor--�

�No, Severus,� she stopped him, raising a hand. �Everything happened as it was meant.�

This bald statement rocked him to his core and he stood aghast, stricken with grief and sorrow before the anger took hold. �How do you mean? You were meant to die? So many others were meant to die such gruesome pointless deaths?�

�What few died did so as their purposes were to teach our world a lesson in tolerance and compassion. They died so that multitudes would not. So that our world could survive and grow a little stronger by coming together in concert to help each other and to defeat evil. That�s no small sacrifice, Severus, and very worthy. Even the youngest souls set a contract before we come to this earth, a life�s purpose that may even include death if it is to help others learn from it. So it was. But look, Severus, look at me. Am I really dead? Am I rotted in a hole in the earth or am I alive, very much as you remember and with all the vibrance you remember. It is me.�

With that, she reached forward and took his hand, brought it to her face and brought her free hand up to touch his cheek.

�It is I who should apologize,� she went on, before dropping her hand. �I am sorry I did not see the potential in you and the great man you have become. You�ve helped my son save our entire world. You�ve kept him safe, risked your own existence time and again. As your friend I did not have enough faith in you. But�if we believe in fate, I was not meant to see, and my blindness is what�s brought you here--searching for someone who sees all this in you and more. We would not have worked, Severus, if I could not see you complete in yourself and love all of you.�

She shook her head, smiling ruefully. �I don�t believe you�re arrogant enough for me.�

Severus smiled at this, his eyes tearing even as he damned himself for them, �piss poor taste you have in men, Lily.�

She laughed as well, tears springing to her eyes as she waved a hand toward the lake. �You can choose to be bitter at me and my choice in men for the rest of your life if you like, Severus. But look here and see what awaits you if you should choose to move on, to find what you deserve. Your own fate, here��

She gestured over the water where he saw images shifting over the depths. He stepped away from her, stepped closer to the lake�s edge and saw a sitting room with three children playing hide and seek. One stood against a built in bookcase, counting slowly and trying to peer through the crook of his arm while the other two crept stealth fully around the furniture and out of the room. One little girl stepped silently past the counting boy and hid behind a chair almost right next to him. From where he stood Severus could see her cobalt eyes shining with mirth at the fact that her brother had no idea how close she was to the safe spot.

He followed the other little boy from the room, a skinny child with lank black hair and a dimpled cheek. The boy started toward the bath, with the curtained tub partway open, then flicked a hand to close the curtain and dipped quietly into the hall closet instead. Severus smiled at the wiles of the child, who he realized with a start looked like a young version of himself.

As he listened to the counting wind down, a creak behind him on the upstairs landing sent him whirling and treading lightly up the stairs. To his right he could see a soft light glowing from one room, the door slightly ajar. He crept in, nearly tripped on the rug and righted himself by catching the back of a rocking chair. Looking around he spied a crib, with a baby rustling in the sheets as she fussed in her sleep. There were pink dressings to her bed and dark, flippy curls ringing her head as she coughed once and raised a fist by her head. He stood over the crib, scarcely believing how fragile the young thing looked. She sighed in her sleep, finally still, and he righted himself when he sensed someone behind him. He turned, seeing Lasair standing there, and fell to his knees shaken.

�Severus,� she said rushing to his side, �you�ve been gone too long, there dearest. You�re shaking like a newborn colt. No, don�t stand yet.�

Giving up on the idea of getting to his feet, Severus simply sat kneeling as the shakes overtook him. Lasair rubbed her hands up and down his arms.

�You were so deep I didn�t want to draw you out, and there is so much you have need to see and settle in yourself still. Your anger has abated quite a lot since you have come, but your grief remains, so much of it, as an untapped well. You have to draw it out like a poison.�

He looked into her eyes that were so dark now they appeared as fathomless as the pools of water he had been gazing into. As he did so, she seemed to sense exactly how close she was at this point to the naked man sitting nearly in her embrace. She stilled for only a moment, but just long enough he could sense her discomfort. It was just enough to make him feel as though he had gained the higher ground again after being wrong footed for so long. She rose quickly then, unaware that she had given anything away, and stepped to the back wall, retrieving yet another blue cup and saucer.

�Get you to the water�s edge here, Severus,� she said, bringing the tea to a spot where the water lapped at the cavern�s edge. �There�s a step here where you can sit in the water and warm up a bit. The tea is lavender and chamomile, sure to calm your nerves after such an ordeal.�

Saying not a word, for his nerves were surely still jangling from the emotional storm still raging within, Severus sat on the underwater stoop so the water rose nearly up to his chest and true to her testament began to warm the chills away. She sat on a small flat outcropping of rock, hugging her knees and watching him slowly sip the calming brew. In silence they continued until the tea was gone and the tremors had subsided. Then, with barely a glance at her and a curt nod, Severus slid fully into the water and glided back through the tunnel to surface beside the bush. He dressed quickly, raising a hand to Scathach as he departed straight back to the oak tree and down to his barracks for the night, fully weary and wanting nothing but the stillness and quiet of sleep.
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A Better Fate *COMPLETE*

A Better Fate COMPLETE