Struggling Through New Beginnings | By : HarryGinny4eva Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Draco/Hermione Views: 31236 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1 |
Disclaimer: Spoilers - I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
Disclaimer: Spoilers - I do not own Harry
Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or
movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Author’s Notes (1) – Thank you all, once again. Your reviews mean a lot
to me. I know I thanked you in my responses, but I wanted to do so again. You,
too Stella! And, for those who are reading along, thank you, too! It makes me
feel good to know people are enjoying my story. Hugs all around! HG4eva
And, one last HUGE thank you to my betas never_too_old
and GoodGirlsBadBoys. You guys are amazing.
xxxxx
From the Previous
Chapter…
(Draco) blinked once and then
felt the little food he’d taken in about to make a reappearance. No longer
caring that no one else had gotten up yet, not caring that his actions would
give the gossips more to talk about, Draco lurched to his feet. He just needed
to get out. Pushing his chair out of his way he began the walk out of the hall.
His abrupt departure would have been the talk of the night had another eruption
not happened a few tables away.
Chapter 5
“Well, we’re sorry for asking!”
All eyes turned from the stalking blonde to the center of the room where a
young Gryffindor boy was standing and yelling at the top of his lungs. Draco’s
step faltered in his shock as the boy was yelling at Pansy Parkinson.
“And, stop acting so nice all of a sudden. We all know what you are. We know
you don’t mean it! You’re just as evil as you’re screwed up boyfriend and his
dead Death Eater daddy. You were eager to turn Harry over to your oh-so-great
Lord and we would like to know why? It’s not like you ever explained it, is it?
And, why did you come back? No one wants you here!”
Silence swept the hall for a moment as everyone tried to figure out what had
happened. Pansy seemed to have shrunk into her seat, and most of the people
close to her were shocked to see real tears pouring from her eyes. Her mouth
worked as she tried to force words past her shaking lips and stared, horrified,
at Harry at the next table.
“I…I’m…”
Her tentative voice cut the quiet and several teachers belatedly jumped to
their feet. Draco turned to move back toward her, but another voice stopped him
in his tracks.
“As a Gryffindor,” Ginny spat as she stood from her chair, her hair moving and
crackling as the magic slipped her control in her anger, “I am ashamed to say
that I wish we had points already, so that I could take them from my own house!
But, as Head Girl, I assure you, Euan Abercrombie, it
gives me great pleasure to give you as many detentions as I am allowed! How
dare you embarrass yourself and our house like that? How dare you draw blood first!”
The shock of what she said rippled across the room and in their shock no one
stopped her from rounding the table on the boy. “How dare you?! You weren’t there,
were you?! You don’t know what Pansy was or wasn’t thinking, do you? Yes, maybe
she did just want to turn Harry over to Voldemort. Or, maybe, just maybe, she
was petrified, just like the rest of us! Maybe she feared for her life, like
the rest of us, and just reacted.”
Euan puffed out his chest in indignation, “We have a
right…”
“You have no right to call her out like that! You want answers, ask her
privately. Only she can tell you why she did what she did. But, you do not have
the right to attack her publicly. You do not have the right to embarrass any
student in this school over their actions back then. And, you DO NOT have the
right to embarrass our house. If a student is here, it is because they fought
bravely, wanted to, or have come back for a second chance. How dare you try to
take that from her! If Harry can forgive…”
“Ginny, that’s enough,” Harry said quietly from his seat.
Ginny stopped abruptly and turned to see Harry stand and walk over to Pansy.
When he reached her, he waited until she looked slowly up at him.
Harry kept his voice low in an effort to not embarrass her further, “Pansy,
would you like to take a walk with me?”
xxxxx
Pansy couldn’t breathe. The walls she had been admiring were suddenly
closing in on her as the boy spat in her face and started yelling at her. All
her fears were laid in front of her, and she didn’t know what to do. She stared
at Harry and tried to apologize, but nothing would come out. All she could hear
was her own guilt being screamed at her. Then Ginny Weasley started to defend
her and the world began to tilt. She didn’t hear what exactly Ginny said, but
she felt Ginny’s hand on her shoulder. Someone was touching her, defending her.
Ask her!
Pansy shuddered and closed her eyes. She willed the pain, guilt and fear to go
away, just as strongly as she silently willed Ginny to turn and hug her. Her
hand was not enough. Just before she embarrassed herself by launching herself
at the woman screaming at her side, she saw his shoes and heard her name.
Slowly lifting her eyes she stared into clear, green ones that held sympathy
and empathy. She didn’t hear what was said, but she saw the hand he held out to
her. It was her a lifeline; a chance at her new
beginning. And, she grabbed at it like a drowning woman.
“I’m sorry,” she began babbling as she held onto his hand, “I’m so sorry. I
didn’t think. I was so scared. I wouldn’t…”
“It’s okay, Pansy,” Harry said softly, as he pulled
her to her feet. “Let’s go talk.”
The hall was silent as Harry and Pansy made their way out. Neither one looked
at Draco as they passed by him. Neither noticed the look of awe and envy on his
face. No one paid any attention to him. Well, almost no one.
As soon as the door closed behind Harry and Pansy, noise erupted in the room.
Those who had been too far away to hear everything clearly got up and ran to
friends who had been closer. Ron made his way through the crowded floor to
Ginny and tried to calm her down. The teachers moved down from the dais and
tried to get everyone to calm down and go back to their seats, while McGonagall
took Euan from the hall by his ear.
Draco stood in the same place, unable to move, as he replayed the events of the
last few minutes. The more he thought on it, the more confused he got. He
wanted to run, but his feet wouldn’t cooperate. Then he felt a hand on his arm.
Just as Snape’s low voice cut across the crowd to quiet it, Draco looked down
in the soft, warm, brown eyes of Hermione Granger. It was a lot quieter as the
professors got everyone back to their tables and made their way back up the
dais, but for Draco it was like someone had hit mute on his life. He heard
nothing but a buzz as he stared down at her. Her hand felt warm on his arm and
made his skin tingle slightly. She stood so close that he could count the light
sprinkle of freckles across her nose and he fleetingly wondered if they had
always been there or if she had spent too much time in the sun over the past
few months. Looking at the rest of her face he saw sorrow and understanding.
But, it was her eyes that made him stiffen and finally pull his arm away from
her as he stepped back.
“I don’t need your pity, you…you,” he spat at her and turned away, once again
hearing the sounds of the people all around them in the hall.
She smiled a bit, at his loss of words, and murmured to his back, “Well, you
have it anyway. No one should have to suffer as you have. I am sorry for all
you’ve lost, Malfoy.”
He stopped as her soft voice washed over him. He heard the sincerity and felt
shame at his sudden anger. It hadn’t been her fault everything in his life had
fallen apart. She just embodied it all. He turned back to face her and asked
the one question plaguing him the most. “Why?”
Hermione didn’t know how to answer, as she didn’t understand the question. Was
he asking why she felt pity for him? Or, why she had stopped him? Or, why…so many things.
With a tiny shrug, she chose to answer for the here and now, “You looked like
you needed a friend.”
Draco felt the walls closing in once again as her words played in his head over
and over for a long moment. He just stared at her as she turned and walked back
to her table. He didn’t even care what he might look like to others, as he
concentrated on breathing. When she sat down her eyes lifted to meet his and he
saw what he had missed a few moments earlier.
Caring. He couldn’t imagine why, but she actually
cared.
xxxxx
Blaise watched Hermione walk away from a very pale Draco and wondered what she
had said to him. Draco was as close to a friend as Blaise had. Granted, his
definition of friendship was a bit skewed, as he wasn’t into all
that lovey, huggy,
talking about ‘being there for one another’ crap that the Hufflepuffs and
Gryffindors did. He hadn’t ever put any person before himself, besides his
mother. But, he knew if there was anyone he would trust with his secrets, if he
ever chose to spill them, it would be Draco. Although, if he
was being honest, Pansy was easier to talk to most days.
Pansy. What had possessed her to go out alone with
Potter? Speaking of which, why wasn’t Draco going after them? Blaise’s eyes
narrowed on his blonde friend and noticed he hadn’t looked away from the
dark-haired woman across from him. What had she said to him? With one last
glance at Hermione, Blaise stood and walked toward Draco.
“Are you okay?” he asked quietly as he moved to stand next to Draco.
Draco drew in a shuddering breath and focused on Blaise, “Fine. You?”
“You going after Pansy?”
“Yes, uh, of course,” Draco said and straightened his shoulders. “Are
you coming with?”
Blaise shook his head, “No, I’m not quite done eating. I just thought I’d see
if you were…well, you looked…Look, I know you had a rough summer and I never
contacted you or anything, but, I don’t know, you just looked as if you…like,
maybe you needed a friend.”
Draco visibly flinched at the word and his eyes went back to Hermione.
“What’s wrong?” Blaise asked.
“That’s what she said,” Draco said softly. Then his eyes returned to Blaise’s,
and he gave a short, mirthless laugh, “I’m practically public enemy number one,
and all of a sudden everyone wants to be my friend. I need to get out of here.”
Blaise didn’t stop Draco as he turned sharply and left the hall. Instead he
returned to his table and his dinner. He didn’t participate in the
conversations at his table, but he no longer scoffed at or interrupted them. He
listened as Hermione patiently answered question after question from the
excited first years about what to expect in class and from the various
teachers. After a short while he had to stop himself from smiling at her antics
as she acted out a few of the teachers for them. When one of the fifth year
students began to ask her about O.W.L.S. and she couldn’t recall the answer, he
almost jumped in to answer for her, before he remembered who she was.
Hermione Granger was off limits. She was not someone he could befriend, like,
or even talk to, as she was not only a Gryffindor and Harry Potter’s best
friend, but she was also a muggleborn and that meant
she was…
What? What did not having two magical parents make her? She was still a witch.
She was accomplished, intelligent, now as rich as him, if he’d heard right,
well-liked and respected, and a war veteran. Physically, she’d improved beyond
measure since she’d put some weight back on after her year with Weasley and
Potter on the run. Hell, she’d even figured out how to turn her bush into a
mass of bouncy curls. So, why did her being a mudbl…muggleborn matter? Did it? Would she have been any
different if she had been a pureblood? Could they have possibly been friends? And, what about now? The war was over.
Most of the pureblood
families had been torn apart. Everyone was seeing the reality of their years of
inbreeding. The high number of stillbirths, birth defects (squibs), and
families with only one child, was too scary for most to discuss. But Blaise’s
mother had mentioned recently in one of their rare heart-to-heart talks that he
should widen his circle of friends. It was her way of saying he should look
outside of the pureblood world for someone to date. Unbeknownst to her, Blaise
had never really discriminated on the basis of blood, just house. He had dated
girls from every house, but Gryffindor, and some quite seriously. But now,
faced with a new year and a new school motto, would he break that rule?
Hermione’s light laugh brought his attention back to her and their eyes met.
She was the first to look away, but he had seen the question on her face as
clearly as if she’d asked it aloud.
Why are you looking at me and not
sneering or spouting some pureblood bull?
He looked away from her and around the rest of the hall as he contemplated his
answer; because truthfully, he didn’t know. He wasn’t quite sure what he knew
anymore. And, that made him angry.
xxxxx
Draco moved quietly down the hall searching for Pansy and Harry. He
didn’t really want to find them, as he had no idea what to say to either. But,
he knew it was his duty to stand by Pansy. He was so lost in his own thoughts
that he almost missed them sitting in an empty classroom only a few doors down
from the Great Hall. It wasn’t his intention to eavesdrop, but Pansy’s words
stopped him.
“…and I don’t know what to do anymore, Pot…Harry. I mean, I know what I have to
do, but I don’t know if I want to anymore. Not that I ever did really. It was
just expected, you know. Our parents planned everything, down to the last
detail. I didn’t even get to pick my dress,” Pansy cried softly, “Narcissa,
thought the one I picked was…”
Harry sat quietly and listened, as he patted her hand now and then, or made
appropriate sounds to let her know he was paying attention. He hadn’t known
what to expect when he’d made the offer to talk to her, but it certainly hadn’t
been the outpouring he had been subjected to for the past ten minutes. When he
had walked the crying girl from the Great Hall, he had figured she needed to
apologize to him. Most of the people he had known from school had sought him
out over the summer to say how sorry they were for whatever they felt they had
done to him or not done for him. It became something he tolerated, even if he
didn’t like it. It seemed to make them feel better and if really didn’t hurt
him, so he let it happen. That is why he’d made the offer to Pansy.
But, he’d gotten so much more than he’d bargained for when he’d asked, “Are you
okay, Pansy? What’s on your mind?”
“…and I don’t even really like him all that much. Not that I don’t like him at
all, but, I mean, well, he’s rather distant and cold, you know? He’s nice
enough to look at, I guess, if you like that type, but
honestly, he’s no Ron…I mean, um…”
Draco watched her face lose all color as she stared in horror at Harry. He saw
Harry straighten and his jaw drop a bit.
Pansy jumped up and tried to pull her hand from Harry’s, “Merlin! I can’t
believe I…let me go!”
“Pansy, wait,” Harry tried not laugh as he held on to the now struggling and
blushing young woman. “Ron? As in my best mate, Ron Weasley? You like Ron?”
“No. No, I just…well, yes, but…oh Merlin…what I mean is, he’s…oh for the sake
of all that’s magical please forget you heard that, Harry. If anyone ever found
out, if Draco ever found out, I’d…”
Draco chose that moment to make his presence known, “You’d what Pansy?”
Both figures froze at the sound of his voice, and Draco was mildly amused to
see Harry step in front of Pansy to protect her from Draco’s wrath.
“Come on darling,” he said haughtily,
“tell me what you are going to do now that I know you have a thing for the
Weasel?”
Pansy blanched at the crisp politeness in his voice. She didn’t know what would
have been worse, his anger or his pain, but she didn’t have to think about
them, as she was faced with something she hadn’t contemplated; his
indifference.
Squaring her shoulders she stepped from behind Harry and clasped her hands in
front of herself as she looked at the man who would be her husband, “I, um,
well I…what do you want me to say, Draco?”
Draco noticed that Harry looked everywhere but at the two of them. To waste
time he directed his next question at Harry. “So, Potter, is this why you
dragged her from the hall? Burning need to learn all her deep, dark, and might
I add, nauseating, secrets?”
Pansy sniffed delicately at his insult, but he kept his eyes on Harry’s.
“No, I brought her here to listen to what she had to say, Malfoy. It seems she
doesn’t have a lot of true friends to talk to,” Harry sneered mildly.
Draco bristled, “What is it with everyone and that word tonight?! Just because
the war is over doesn’t mean everyone has to become friends. I am sick and
tired of everyone thinking…”
He stopped and took a breath to regain control of his spiraling emotions when
he noticed both Harry and Pansy staring at him in shock.
“Look, Pansy, we shall discuss this later.” Then he looked at Harry with a look
of disdain and mocked, “Potter, a pleasure, as always,” before he turned and
left the room.
“Asshole,” Harry muttered as he looked at the empty doorway.
“No, he’s not,” Pansy sighed as she sat heavily in a chair and looked at her
clenched hands. “He just doesn’t care about, well, anything I suppose.”
Harry took the seat next to her and smiled softly, “But, you do, don’t you?”
Pansy blushed and glanced up at Harry, “Please don’t say anything to him about
it. I can’t believe I even told you. And, Draco…plus Ron would never, I mean,
he’s with Granger…and, well I am sure I will get over it…and, it doesn’t matter
anyway, now does it? I am promised to Draco.”
She looked so sad and defeated that Harry was at a loss as to what to say. She
wasn’t a friend. She wasn’t even an acquaintance. This conversation was the
longest one he had ever had with her in all the years they had known of one
another. He didn’t like or dislike her; he didn’t really know her. But, he did
feel badly for her. And, the fact was, he knew Hermione and Ron weren’t going
to be a couple for much longer. They just weren’t that into each other, no
matter how much they pretended to be. And while Hermione would bounce back
rather quickly, he believed, Ron would need someone to lean on. He would need a
girl who would make him her whole world. If she played her cards right, maybe
Pansy would find a way to get what she apparently wanted.
Harry remained quiet for a moment before he stood and made to leave the room.
When he reached the door he turned with a small smile and responded, “Engagements
can be broken, you know?
xxxxx
Author’s Notes (2) – At the
suggestion of a reviewer, here are the review answers. J
TwistedPerfection: Thank you! I will say you are half
right. lol ;-)
Dreamweaver: I am so happy that you
and Lady B feel my story is good
enough to review as you go. That’s so cool. Thank you!! And, I am really glad
you liked my Snape/Dumbledore explanation. I don’t know where in my brain it
came from, but I loved it. I got to keep the book info, but still bring them
back. *huge smiles from me to you* I am sorry you cried, but I
am so glad I was able to touch you with my story. And, Theo…I don’t know how he
became the “bridge”, but somehow he did. I hope you like him. Good job on the
Ginny/Pansy friendship. But, I am not saying a thing about Blaise. ;-) Sorry
about the cliffy; it wasn’t my intention. It was simply a good place to stop.
Jullsy: I
honestly didn’t mean to be cruel. Promise. Yes, Snape
and Dumbledore are really alive. No tricks there. And, no, no Snape love in
this one. As you can see by the fact that I wrote it, you aren’t alone. I think
at least one of the “book” Malfoys should have paid! Thanks
for the compliment on my Theo. And, I think you might get three updates this
week. ;-)
LadyBlueEyes:
I love a snarky Snape, too. :-D And, I
have such a love/hate relationship with Dumbledore. Because of him I no longer
believe in the “Greater Good”. Man! It’s like you were here talking to me as I
wrote them when you went through the characters and the whys of each. You are
very insightful and mostly correct about some of them. How’s that for vague? Lol
The sequel – It’s about them 5 years
later (more adult) and what happened to them and their relationships, as well
as how each continued to grow and change. At the end of this story there are
more than a few couples, and all of them can’t be expected to have made it, now
can they? *insert evil chuckle here*
Thank you all!
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