Life and Its Mysteries

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Chapter 5



Both Hermione and Severus were in Severus’s bedroom. She was inclined in his bed, with her back against some pillows and the headboard. Severus on the other hand was seated down in the chair right next to his bed.



Soon after they had entered his chambers earlier, Severus had given Hermione a very strong calming draught. It made her crying stop eventually, and to his confusion, she became distant from him.



They were silent for minutes. Neither of them spoke a word to each other.



It was Hermione that broke the uneasy silence between them. She knew Severus wanted to hear her story—the truth. If it wasn’t for the calming draught, she knew she would be a crying heap. She was thankful for it. It made her able to control her own emotions, which made her feel somewhat numb and also reminded her the reality of who she was with. She told him everything that had happened that unfaithful night.



However, Hermione didn’t speak of the entire truth. Tobi was something that she had decided not to talk about. And if possible, she wanted to keep him a secret from Severus for as long as she could. She had asked herself many times before if she was going to tell him about Tobi. But then, she decided not to, thinking that Severus would not want him, like he no longer wanted her.



Severus listened to Hermione intently. He kept his eyes on her, even though hers were focused on her knee. Their eyes never met. As she explained things, his anger grew within him with every passing word. He wanted to torture and kill the stupid Weasley boy, and thought of probably doing the same with Potter. They truly weren’t Hermione’s friends.



“Why didn’t you tell me, or come to after?” Severus asked. His voice was mellow, soft, and saddened.



“And then what?” Hermione asked as she looked at him. “After what you did to me? I think not.”



“Regardless of what I did to you, you think I wouldn’t believe you? You think that I would turn you away in your time of need? I would’ve been there for you. I would have given you the care, comfort and the support that you needed-“



“And then get rid of me again after I’m alright, right?” Hermione argued back. “I remember your exact words Severus. I remember as if it had just happened yesterday. And let me tell you something… It still hurts!”



“I care for you, and I still have feelings for you, you know that.”



“What?” Hermione huffed. “Don’t you dare play with me Severus! I will not be made into a broken-hearted fool by you again.”



“Did you not read my letter to you?”



“You mean the one you sent three years ago?”



“Precisely!”



“I threw it away,” Hermione lied. She then remembered the letter was in her back pocket. “I didn’t bother opening it.”



Severus ran a hand through his hair as he looked down on the floor. If only she had read the letter, this discussion would be easier. Hermione wouldn’t probably be angry with him at the moment, with hatred. “Hermione, I-“



“You think that a letter you wrote to me two years after would have made everything bloody peachy fine between us? I’m sorry, but you were sadly mistaken! It isn’t easy to mend a broken heart, especially one that you broke. I’ve learned how to move on without you Severus, and I’ve been doing pretty damn well.”



Severus gritted his teeth, and shook his head. He knew he had made a mistake. Pushing Hermione away, and letting her go was the worst mistake he had done. He wondered how he was going to fix things between them.



Hermione turned away from him. Even with the calming potion, she could somewhat feel her emotional pain. She was not only next to him, but surrounded by many memories of the love they once shared. His chambers, room, and most of all the bed brought the memories back. With one palm, she touched the soft duvet chocolate brown sheets, remembering the many times that they had made love.



“Are you involved with anyone? Your teammate?” Severus asked, needing to know. He reached out for her hand, hoping that she wouldn’t push it away. When she didn’t, he held her hand gently.



Hermione shook her head, turned to him and then said, “Bill, or anyone of them and I aren’t an item… but there is someone special in my life,” she said as she thought about Tobi.



“Who?” Severus asked, feeling nervous. He remembered Hermione’s words earlier in Albus’s office say that she would never love another, like she did with him.



“His name is Ethan,” she replied, using Tobi’s middle name. “Funny he is, for in ways, he is so much like you. But, he does make me laugh and smile more.”



“So you are happy with this… Ethan?” he questioned. His own heart was aching, feeling as if it was breaking again. It was his own doing. He then concluded that a person couldn’t love another person the same way. It was different.



Hermione nodded. “He is my life.” Her hand tightened around his, remembering that it was once that way with Severus.



“Then I am glad that you are happy,” Severus said sincerely.



Somewhere inside him, a voice told him to let go of Hermione’s hand, telling him that she had found another. But then Severus’s heart couldn’t fight the love he still had for her. He wanted to be close to her again for he missed her so much, and if it meant getting hurt in the end, it was going to be worth it—Hermione was worth it.



When they heard a knock on the door, Hermione pulled her hand away from his.



“Come in,” Severus said aloud. He wanted to curse at whomever it was that disturbed them.



The door then opened. Albus walked in first, followed by Minerva and Bill, who was holding Hermione’s cane.



“Harry explained everything to us,” Albus informed them. “Ron has been brought to Azkaban.”



“I’m sorry about everything Hermione,” Minerva said softly.



“Whatever,” Hermione grunted a she stood from the bed. She made her way towards Bill and got her can. She had to forget about the past and focus on the present at hand. “We have four more days before the students come back right?” she asked as she remembered Moody telling her that Albus had let the students go home. Classes would resume the coming Monday.



“Hermione, are you sure you don’t need some time off?” Bill asked. “You can go to New York if you want.”



“We came here for Biff, and not for my personal life. Get everyone in a meeting again and inform them about Biff,” Hermione told Bill as she walked towards the door.



“You don’t have to do this. Where are you going?” Bill asked after her.



“I’m going to the Quidditch pitch outside. It’s likely that he must’ve left a clue as he mostly does. There’s more than that stupid letter.”



“Hermione-“



Hermione turned on her feet and pointed her cane at Bill. “Just do as I say. Merlin knows we all want to catch the bastard before he gets to another student.”



“And what makes you think that he will go after another student? Isn’t it possible that he may go after another random person elsewhere?” Minerva asked in confusion. “Surely he wouldn’t be so idiotic to commit another crime here at Hogwarts.”



Hermione bit her lip as she looked at all Albus, Severus and then Minerva. The three of them all had concerned looks on their faces. “Hogwarts is a goldmine to him. He only targets children between the ages of eleven to seventeen. Molesting, raping, and even killing them later on,” she explained.



Minerva gasped as she placed a shaky hand on her mouth.



Not saying another word, Hermione turned and walked out the door. As she walked through the living room, she immediately noticed Harry who stood up from the couch.



“Hermione, I’m sorry-“



“Shut it Harry!” Hermione snapped when she stopped and looked at him. “You have no idea how angry I am, but now, I don’t care! I need the best aurors that there are now, and I can set my personal shit aside for the case. Are you staying on the case or not?”



“I-I can do that,” Harry said.



“Good!” Hermione said and exited Severus’s chambers.



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Severus was left alone in his bedroom. He would soon attend the staff meeting. For now, he sat alone deep in thought. He remembered what had happened that night he had broken things off with Hermione.



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“Severus!” Hermione squealed happily as she entered his chambers, rushing towards him when she saw him on the couch. “I got all ‘Outstandings’ in my NEWTS.” She sat down in his lap, smiling widely at him, waving the paper with all her grades on them.



Severus didn’t say a word. He continued to sit stiffly on the couch, his eyes focused on the fireplace ahead of him.



The smile on Hermione’s face faded right away when she saw a look on Severus’s face. He had his usual scowl on, with some anger in his eyes. “What’s wrong Sev?”



“We need to talk,” Severus stated in a very serious tone as he pushed Hermione off his lap, making her sit on the couch. He then stood up, and walked to the fireplace. He placed his hands on the mantle, deciding it was best to get to the point right away. “I think it’s best if we break up and end our relationship.”



Hermione’s mouth gaped open. Where did that come from? As far as she knew, they were doing fine, and their relationship wasn’t on rocky water. Most of the fights that they had were just mere disagreements between the brewing of potions. “What?”



“I said that I think it would be best if we ended our relationship,” he repeated.



“Why?” Hermione asked. She was so confused. “The war is over; we don’t have to hide from anyone or anything. Whatever the problem is, I’m sure we can overcome it together.”



Gritting his teeth, Severus closed his eyes. He knew that breaking up with her wasn’t’ going to be easy, but he didn’t want it last longer than it should have. It was also tearing him apart inside.



“Sev, I-I thought that you wanted to marry and start a family with me. We planned our lives after I would graduate, which is going to happen tomorrow. Please, explain to me… I don’t understand.”



“I do not want to be with you anymore woman! What don’t you understand about that?!” Severus bellowed as he spun on his heels to face her.



Hermione jumped back in the couch. Never had she seen Severus this angry at her, and it was frightening to say the least.



“What do you want me to say? I don’t love you? Well I don’t! You are the one that planned our future, that is how you see things, but they cannot be that way, nor will they ever be.”



Hermione didn’t bother fighting the tears that had flowed out of her eyes. Her body started to tremble as she felt her heart shatter into millions of pieces.



“I hate it when you call me ‘Sev,’ or when you cuddle and snuggle against me. I am not that type of man. I am a man of my solitude and prefer it that way. You have invaded my space and person past my limits. I have had enough of you, and of us.” He paused as he tried to catch his breath. His chest heaving. “We were a mistake. And like I said, I no longer love you.”



“Okay…” Hermione said weakly as she stood up slowly. There was no use to try and talk with him anymore, or try to talk to him. She then left him alone, running for the door as fast as she could, not being able to take one last glance back.



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“Damn you!” Severus cursed at himself softly. He reached for the drawer on the nightstand and opened. He pulled out a small velvet black box and opened it. Inside the box, there was a glamorous platinum diamond engagement ring.



He always looked at the ring, everyday, for the past five years.



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AN – I’m sobbing now. The tears… What were Severus’s reasons you ask? It’s all in the letter. Will Hermione ever read it? Review!