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Linger	By : desespoir Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Draco/Hermione Views: 8509 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: Harry Potter does not belong to me. Everything belongs to the brilliant J.K. Rowling. I own nothing and make no money from writing this story.

Chapter List
- 4
- 5
- 6
A/N: As usual, thank you all for the lovely lovely reviews. Some of you are VERY close but I'm evil and won't reveal exactly who and what exactly is going on. heehehe. Muchos gracias to my lovely beta Deanna :)

-*-

Chapter 4: Be my unholy, my one and my lonely

I wear scarves and hoods because it�s the only poker face that I�ve got left and everything I love about you is a mess. Smash the mirror, and break the palm reader�s hand. I want to be better than I am. � Timbaland featuring Fall Out Boy, �One and Only� (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wac0QThqxnw)

Her breaths were short and choppy, her posture stiff, her eyes closed. Draco felt as if he should say something to her. Anything except this silence � silence was never easy for him. He was used to noises. Throughout his entire life he had been used to large parties, facades, and noises. He wasn�t a talker. Draco Malfoy was above petty conversations. His parents were never the talking type and certainly didn�t spare him much time to get to know his feelings. Sure, his mother would send him presents and coddle him with hugs and kisses but they never had serious conversations about his feelings. It simply wasn�t proper and therefore not done. He was a Malfoy and Malfoys were above such plebian things as having feelings. They made you weak. To care for someone was to give the reins to your heart and the potential to deeply hurt and destroy you. He had been taught by his father to never allow that to happen, but it had.

As he was sitting there beside her he could feel the knife in his heart twisting several times over. Yes, they were in love. Yes, he was still utterly, completely, desperately in love with her.

And no, silence was still not easy. It was never easy.

He wanted to scream at her. His mind was burning with frustration. What exactly was he supposed to say now? Could he really do this over again? Pretend as if he didn�t love her with every fiber of his being and act as if she meant nothing more than a common acquaintance. He needed to mature, to give her space.

But, he couldn�t. He was a selfish bastard and an impatient one at that. He needed for her to remember him, to take him into her arms and kiss him lightly across his face and neck as she had done so many times years ago. He needed her love. He needed her. He wasn�t as giving as Potter. He wasn�t her savior. She was his and he needed her back. He couldn�t let her go again.

�I never thought they�d be able to touch my mind.�

Her voice was soft yet filled with sorrow and regret. She laughed bitterly at herself, �I was so sure that it was the one thing that they could never have. Know-it-all Gryffindor. The brightest witch of our time,� she snorted in derision, �I was so sure that they could never touch me.�

Draco stared at her, unable to voice a response. Her arms were against her legs as she leaned forward, away from him, her eyes gazing off into the distance.

�I was so wrong,� she whispered brokenly.

He reached out slowly, his fingers itching to touch her, to comfort her but they settled back into his lap. Too soon.

�I am so sick and tired of people invading my mind. It is the one thing that I have, the one thing that I am proud of and the one thing that is supposed to be mine and only mine.� She looked back at him, her eyes sad, �I was tormented in school because of my Muggle heritage and �muddy blood�.�

He looked away, his throat burning with shame.

�I was foul because of my status and bloodline but I didn�t care because I knew I was smarter. I knew I was better and I worked so hard to be the best. My mind was the only thing that I had and now, even that is gone.�

�It�s not gone,� Draco said quietly. He looked into her eyes, lost in the rich swirls of caramel and chocolate brown. He reached out to her, his hand cupping her cheek, his thumb caressing her soft skin, �You are still the brightest witch of your age and we will find whoever or whatever did this to you. You were never one to stand down or give up. Don�t lose hope now.�

She seemed surprised at his touch at first but found herself leaning into it, her eyes closing, her body lost in the sensation. He felt so familiar, so warm � like home. She was home, right? What was home? Edinburgh? London? Did she even have a home anymore? Her eyes snapped open at the last question and she found herself staring into his eyes, his expression a mix of frustration, anger, worry, and love.

She leaned forward, all too close to his face and his lips. Her breath was hot against his mouth and before she knew what she was doing, she kissed him. Gentle and soft at first but then it grew more demanding, her body needing him closer. She didn�t want to think anymore. She just wanted to feel something except this unwavering fear and restlessness she had in the pit of her stomach.

His hands snaked around her waist and he pulled her in, his mouth devouring hers, giving into her insistent kiss. She needed this. He needed this. She opened his mouth to his and he delved in, exploring, their tongues fighting for dominance. His hands seemed to be all over her body, touching, caressing, craving more.

She tasted like sweet strawberries, just like how he remembered but better.

She pushed back slightly, still kissing him, but softer and more languorously now before finally pulling away, a small smile on her face. He could do nothing but smile back, brushing the hair out of her face. She leaned up placing a butterfly kiss on the corner of his mouth, her lips barely just touching his skin.

She was perfect.

Hermione smiled sweetly at him before she looked back towards the direction of Grimmauld Place, �We should get back. They�re probably worried.�

Standing up she reached out her hand, smiling again when he took it without question.

For the first time in two years, things felt right again.

-*-

She couldn�t soothe the unease that seemed to be perpetually hanging over her nowadays. It slithered up from the ground, sinking into her bones, wrapping its cold hands around her neck, choking her until she could no longer breathe from the guilt and hatred. Pansy touched her neck uncomfortably. She hated coming here. He never failed to make her feel worthless, like a pawn to be used and then discarded.

She cleared her throat, her blue eyes flashing with annoyance as she stared at the back of his chair in the darkened room. It smelled of cigarette smoke and a hint of spices and herbs. Glancing into the corner she saw a cauldron over the fire. It was simmering. What was he up to now?

�Did you succeed?�

�Yes,� she responded flatly. His voice was so smooth and seductive, seeming to wrap around her in a false state of safety.

�Excellent.� She could almost hear the smirk in his voice. �I hope you are not with child,� he clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth, �That would be most inconvenient.�

�I�m not an imbecile,� Pansy retorted, clenching her hands in an attempt to calm her anger.

�And, what of the message?� He asked, seeming amused with her frustration.

�I haven�t seen him. I don�t know.�

�You will see him tonight.�

�He�s not at my beck and-�

�You will see him tonight,� the voice repeated, his tone harsh and cold. �Do not make me repeat myself once again. You know what the consequences will be.�

Pansy let out a sigh and shook her head, tears of frustration clouding her eyes, �I am done with this,� she spat. �He deserves to know. He doesn�t deserve this. No one deserves-�

�He deserves nothing,� he seethed, �You will do as I say.�

She could feel the breath escape from her lungs as the screams invaded her mind. No. Stop. Stop. Please. The image burned into her brain as the screams grew louder. All of a sudden, she was released, her mind going black. She took in a deep breath and could feel the tears slip from her eyes as she said hatefully, �Yes, I will do as you say.�

�Very well, you are dismissed.�

Pansy rose to her full height, her nose in the air as she walked out of the room with her shattered pride and dignity. She was disgusted with herself yet she knew she could not sit around and do nothing as that animal tortured-

She stopped herself. No, she would not think of that. She needed to focus. Pausing at the entrance, she demanded, �You remember our agreement. Do not break it.� She took his silence as an affirmation and stepped out of the oppressive room.

In moments, she had apparated back to her flat. Pansy rushed to the bathroom, throwing herself against the toilet as she dry heaved. She was disgusting. She stood up on shaky legs, viewing her own pallid reflection with repulsion. He was not the monster. She was. How could she do this to Draco? He had been one of her closest friends at Hogwarts, being one of the few people that treated her with a decent amount of respect and didn�t act as if she were some vapid whore. She was spitting on that bond now and she hated herself for it.

I will save you, she promised to herself. But who would save her?

-*-

It had been nearly three weeks since Hermione reappeared and with every passing glance of pity and every piece of gossip, she missed her old life as Viola more and more. She was tired of seeing her name in the headlines of the Daily Prophet and she hated even more how she couldn�t go out in public with people gasping, talking about her as if she didn�t have eyes or ears. She wanted to scream out in frustration. It wasn�t as if she had lost her mind or that she was a leper yet everyone seemed to treat her as such. No one knew of her secret of the missing memories, only Ron, Harry, Ginny, and Draco did. Yet, she was still treated as if she was some sort of freak show on display.

Hermione had refused to give any interviews upon her return which only seemed to spawn more rumors. The writers at the Daily Prophet seemed all the happier now that they could concoct their own wild stories at her expense. Within the past week alone she had read that she had been kidnapped, had run off with a Muggle, and her personal favorite, led a clandestine double-life as a stripper. In the end, they all ended the same. Whatever she had been occupied with for the past two years had failed and she had come crawling back to Harry Potter�s door, begging to be welcomed back into his home and the magical world.

If only they knew.

Today�s headline suggested that she had been doing some illegal research for the Muggle government and she had escaped back to the magical world as a means to avoid being jailed and then punished by death. Snorting with disgust, she threw the paper into the trash. She missed horribly and it landed on the floor. She made a move to pick it up until she heard a voice.

�It�s alright. I�ve got it,� Ron said with a smile, �You�ve always had bad aim.�

Hermione laughed at this and took a sip of her tea, �It�s never been one of my skills.�

He poured himself a cup of tea before sitting down next to her, �Was it that bad?�

�Absolutely awful,� she answered honestly, �They make me out to be a maniac. They seem to have forgotten that I helped save the Wizarding world only a few years ago. I feel like everyone is just watching me as if I�m some sort of entertainment or amusement, just waiting for me to make another wrong move or something.�

Ron let out a sigh and put his hand over hers gently, �I�m sorry. They�re all bloody idiots. Just forget them.�

She smiled sadly, �I wish I could. I hope it doesn�t last long.�

�It looks like I�ll have to embarrass myself in some way, give them something to really talk about and steal your spotlight,� he waggled his eyebrows deviously.

�Well, you are keeper for the world-famous Cannons. It shouldn�t be that difficult for you to stir some trouble.�

�I�ll do it on one condition,� his blue eyes glimmering playfully.

�What?� Hermione beamed back.

�Promise me you�ll smile more.�

Her smile faltered at this as she took another awkward sip of her tea.

�I hate seeing you like this, Hermione. I miss you being happy.�

�I�m sorry,� she whispered, �It�s just been a difficult transition.�

He nodded in understanding before he stood up, �It will get better, I promise.� He glanced at the clock on the wall. �I have to get to practice but I�ll be back tonight. See you at dinner.�

He kissed her on the head before he left, leaving Hermione to her thoughts. After she and Draco had returned from their walk, Ron had apologized, his head kept down in shame the entire time. Hermione had tearfully forgiven him, hugging him tightly as a renewal of their friendship.

Harry had convinced the ministry to re-open her case. Almost immediately, they began interrogating her on a daily basis using Legilimency to invade her mind again and again, tracing over her memories, especially focusing upon the day she was captured and the day at the caf� when her memories returned to her. There was no distinguishing details.

On the day she was �captured�, she had been in her living room getting ready to go to the event the ministry held every year on the anniversary of Voldemort�s death. They honored the lives of all who had perished in the war, as well as reiterated the strong message that pureblood supremacy was a foolish and ridiculous notion of the past that would not be tolerated any longer. She hadn�t wanted to go but the ministry was giving her, Harry, and Ron a medal of honor. She stepped out the door about to apparate when she smelled that same scent of tobacco and alcohol as before, feeling pain in her neck and head before everything went black. When she woke up she was on a bus to Edinburgh as Viola Reine, simply thinking she had dozed off.

Hermione massaged her temples trying her best to ease the thoughts in her head. She hated this continual invasion of her mind. She knew it was necessary as she was the only person that held any sort of hint or whisper as to what happened, but she couldn�t help feel as if she was being continuously violated. It was like ripping open an old wound every single day. She just wanted everyone else out of her head permanently, to know the feeling of peace of mind again.

It would never happen.

Tomorrow, she and Harry would investigate Viola�s old apartment. It felt so strange to talk about Viola as if she were a whole other person. She still remembered all of Viola�s memories and still felt as if a large part of her was still Viola, just like a large part of Hermione would inevitably have been a part of Viola. She was one person. Just because she lost her memories didn�t mean she wasn�t still the same person, or did it? She honestly didn�t know. Viola had been kind, gentle, loyal, and extremely dedicated. She had wanted more for herself and wanted to change the world.

Wasn�t Hermione the same?

After finishing her tea and washing the cup, Hermione headed upstairs to her temporary room in Harry and Ginny�s home. After she left, Harry and Ginny had moved most of her stuff into a guestroom. She looked around her room, sighing softly as she flopped onto the bed, closing her eyes.

Slowly she drifted off into a dreamless sleep, hoping that when she opened her eyes, she would remember everything.

-*-

Draco clenched his jaw as he held another mysterious note in his hand, desperately wanting to rip it to shreds or crumple it up and throw it into the fire. His grey eyes stared hatefully down at the neat writing:

I from thee departed

Thy penitent reform'd: but we have been

Deceived in thy integrity, deceived

In that which seems so.

It was from whoever erased Hermione�s memories. He knew it. He could feel it in the pit of his stomach. He repeated the words in his head, clenching the side of his desk in frustration. He didn�t know where they came from or exactly what they meant. He did know the purpose, however. Whoever sent it wanted to taunt him � to give him clues, delighting as they blatantly hung it out in front of his face as he stared hopelessly and blankly at it, never being able to find an answer.

After he received the first note he had tore through the library in the manor hoping to find a reference to the lines, yet he could find nothing. He had even gone as far as showing Potter, hoping that perhaps he would recognize the words yet they drew a blank. He simply took the note and filed it as evidence, promising that his team would do extensive research upon it.

Draco felt a sickening feeling creep up within him, seeming to completely engulf him. He needed to find whoever was sending these notes to him, yet they always mysteriously appeared from thin air. Always on the desk of his study without a trace. They were unsigned and he had already done several revealing spells on each of them hoping that the person had slipped up. Nothing each time. He had cut floo access to the manor to only a select few hoping that it would stop the notes but apparently it hadn�t work. Whoever was sending this was either someone incredibly close to him or someone incredibly clever, perhaps both.

He let out a sigh, his face in the palm of his hands. He needed to find out who the culprit was and he needed to find out soon. Whoever had done this to Hermione was still out there and he didn�t want to think of what else they were capable of.

-*-
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