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The Definition of Inappropriate	By : starstruck86 Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Snape/Ron Views: 3178 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter nor do I make any money from these writings.

Chapter List
- 4
- 5
- 6
***

Severus was
properly cold. They had made him change into the correct attire for being an
Azkaban inmate -striped robes which were thin and scratchy. They grated against
the scars on his shoulder. There were now five rocks in the corner of his cell.
Every morning when he added another he felt his heart harden just a little bit
further. Albus had been back the day before to see him, bringing with him the
news that it wasn�t likely he was going to get out in time for his birthday. It
hadn�t been much of a blow, Severus had been expecting it. He just hoped that
Ron hadn�t got his hopes up too much. And also that Ron hadn�t been too
devastated when Severus turned down the conjugal visit Albus had offered him,
in light of his extending stay.

His hands
shook slightly as he thought about what he could have been looking forward to
that day, seeing Ron, feeling his warmth in his arms, kissing him, smelling
him. But he�d turned it down. It had been clear from the look on Albus� face
that he�d thought he was insane to do so. But as Severus had explained to him,
he said he didn�t see why an eighteen year old should see the inside of Azkaban
prison when they had no good cause to, and anyway, any happy memories from the
visit would just be taken away instantly. He might as well wait and put neither
of them through the torment it would cause.

Of course,
it had been easy to say it. But sitting in his cold cell, imagining how the day
could have been so much better, Severus was regretting his decision. He rested
his elbow on the sill and watched out at the sea, rough and steely grey under a
cloudy sky. Another storm looked to be on its way in. The storms made it even
worse to be stuck on the rock, the wind screamed and icy gusts blew through the
open barred windows. His fingers had turned blue two nights previously. He
wrapped his arms around his body and turned away from the window, moving to sit
down in the corner where he�d made a pitiful bed for himself out of his
blanket, with some of the old Daily Prophets spread out for warmth beneath it,
apart from, of course, the front page with the picture of Ron kissing him. He�d
kept that separate to try and draw a more personal kind of warmth from it, and
it did help. But he was so wary of feeling too positive in case it bought the
dementors to his gate.

There had
been a horrible moment the night before, where he�d managed to fall asleep and
was having the most beautiful dream. He and Ron had been sitting in his car at
the seafront like they always did. It was a warm day and they�d had the windows
open to get a breeze blowing through the car. And then Ron, ever suggestive,
had put his hand in Severus� trousers and bought him off then and there, in
full view of anyone who wanted to watch whilst Severus clutched at the old
leather and groaned and muttered as he came. And then Severus had woken up to
hear his cell bars rattling and the most hideous feeling of despair drench the
room. They�d sensed his heightened emotions when asleep and come to
investigate.

It had left
him a shaking mess on the floor, tears dripping all over his face, any warmth
gleaned from the dream shot to pieces. Even the memory of how he�d felt made
him feel ill as he pulled the blanket up over his shoulders.

***

�Sonofabitch,� Ron hissed, pulling his burnt hand away from
the cauldron and flapping it in the air, as if it�d help.

�Language,�
Eileen chided him gently, a frown on her ghostly face.

�You sound
just like your son,� Ron got up and walked into the bathroom for the burn
salve.

�Well he
got it from me,� she peered into the cauldron. �You need to add the poppy seeds
now before this spoils.�

Ron grabbed
the measuring cup and threw them in the cauldron, giving the ladle a quick
circle before returning his attention to smothering his wrist in burn salve.

It was
after Severus had refused the chance for him to visit that Ron had stopped
moping about him not being there. He was angry about being rejected, but also
knew that it was probably just down to the effect of the prison. So he�d picked
up the copy of the potions book he�d bought Severus for Christmas and searched
and searched to find the potions which were going to help lift the depression
when he came home. Eileen had only been too happy to supervise him. He was
currently working on a massive cauldron of the most simple but effective
anti-depressive potion they could find. It wasn�t far different to what Ron had
been taking from his release from hospital.

�It�s
looking good,� Eileen smiled at him, as the poppy seeds turned the liquid into
a sunshine-y yellow .

�Doesn�t
smell bad either,� Ron looked at it, eyebrows raised in surprise. �Hopefully
it�ll help.�

�He�ll be
thrilled when he finds out you�ve done this,� she looked at him. �The trouble
you�ve gone to.�

Ron
shrugged and put the lid back on the jar. �I need to get some more of this.
We�ve only been going for two days and it�s nearly all gone. He�ll kill me when
he gets home for being so clumsy.�

�If you
don�t kill yourself through misdeed first,� she teased him.

The
relationship which had struck up between them was incredibly odd. It was as
though she knew to give him his space, and stayed away when he was looking
jaded, but she always offered to talk to Ron. And, considering she was to all
intents and purposes his mother-in-law, Ron was surprised at how easy it was to
talk to her.

�Ron?�
There came a call from the living room and Ron got to his feet, stepping round
George, who was sprawled on the floor.

�Yeah?�
He entered the living room and scowled as he saw Albus Dumbledore standing in
his hearth �Ron was pretty sure he was never going to forgive him.

�I have
wonderful news,� Albus� eyes were twinkling and his face was beaming.

Ron raised
an eyebrow and folded his arms over his chest and raised his jaw in question.

�I think I
might have Severus home with you by the end of the day,� Albus told him, beard
quivering.

Ron�s mouth fell open in shock. �A-are you serious?�

�I think
so. We�re just pushing the last paperwork through now, and I should be able to
get him before they close the rock for the night to visitors. I�m timing it to
bring him home around 7pm.�

�Does he
know?� Ron whispered.

Albus shook
his head. �No. Some things are best kept as surprises, don�t you think?�

Ron nodded,
still unable to really get elongated sentences out of his mouth, he was still
so shocked. He�d really consigned himself to being without Severus for longer
-that they�d be forced apart for longer than anyone was estimating.

�I need to
carry on preparing things,� Albus turned back to the fire. �But I couldn�t not
come and tell you in person. I need to go and dress for a press conference.�

Ron nodded
at him and watched him disappear through the flames once more, and stared at it
for several minutes. He felt the temperature chill and knew Eileen was behind
him.

�He�s
coming home?� she asked.

Ron turned
and nodded. �Yes.�

His heart
was racing and he reached out to the sideboard for his cigarettes
absentmindedly. Just one had turned into two, then three�and then he�d had to
get more.

�I�m not even going to bother lecturing you,� Eileen shook her head. �When my
son gets home and finds you puffing away on those he�ll hit the roof.�

�Ah, yes,
but you�re forgetting it was his bed I found them taped under,� Ron managed a
grin before exhaling out of the side of his mouth.

�Trust me, I�m going to have words about that when I get my hands on him,� she
winked. �Your potion doth nearly boil over,� she nodded towards the kitchen.

�Shit,� Ron held the cigarette in his lips and rushed into the kitchen, where
George put his legs up on his thighs. �Yes George, Daddy�s coming home today.�

An
infectious grin was spreading through his body and he stirred the potion
quickly like the book advised him.

�We should
get on brewing those sleeping draughts,� Eileen told him.

Ron flicked
away some ash which melted away into thin air, one of the many reasons magical
cigarettes were so much better than muggle ones, along with the fact they
didn�t slowly kill you. �I can�t believe he�s coming home. Shit, I should tell
Mum and Dad, and Harry.�

***

By the time
seven in the evening rolled around, Ron was a ball of nervous energy. He
couldn�t sit still for the life of him, and he was thoroughly winding George
up. He was throwing a ball down the hallway for him every few seconds. He�d
tidied up, cleaned, made dinner and a cake (considering that Severus� fortieth
birthday two days before had probably been one of the worst of his life, if it
didn�t take the title completely), brushed George and magicked
a flashing bow on his collar, changed the sheets on the bed, had everything
ready in the bathroom for a long bath and made a mercy dash to the private
little sex shop off Diagon Alley to stock up on some
favourites running low.

He knew
that half of his tension was sexual. He couldn�t feel himself and nobody�s
touch was as good as Severus�. He hadn�t had release since Severus had first
been arrested on January the second, and considering it was now the eleventh�
things were starting to get uncomfortable. And considering Ron couldn�t really
feel anything to do with his penis or testicles, the fact he even knew that was telling him he needed a
good seeing to.

He had
deflected all offers of company; he wanted Severus and Severus alone. Even
Eileen had promised to make herself scarce for the
night. He impatiently tapped his fingers against his thighs as he glanced again
at the clock. It was dead seven. He knew that Azkaban was closed to incoming
visitors at six thirty every evening. He was gagging for a cigarette, but he�d
cleaned and cleaned to get rid of the smell so Severus wouldn�t know exactly
how much he�d been relying on the little sticks of blue smoke. He wasn�t about
to undo it all through nerves.

Half an
hour later, he found himself still alone. George was chewing on a bone in the
kitchen, the scraping of his teeth the only sound in the entire house. �Come ooooon,� Ron got to his feet and moodily stamped up and
down in the tiny living room.

By eight,
he was getting worried. There was no need for anything to be taking so long,
but if Albus had finally said he was going to get him, then he would, wouldn�t
he?

And yet, by
nine, Ron was sweating with fear and twinges of anger. Something had clearly
gone very wrong with the plan. He was muttering to himself about how
discourteous it was that nobody was keeping him informed �it wasn�t like he
could leave, if Severus finally came home to an empty house that would be
awful. He had his back turned when the flames flashed green in the grate and he
only whirled round, expectation buoying up his chest, when he heard feet on the
hearth.

But it
wasn�t Severus he saw there, it was Albus, with a look of apology written deep
in the wrinkles of his face. The jelly-like feeling which had overpowered him
on the day his summons came washed over Ron again and he let his mouth fall
open.

�I didn�t make it in time,� Albus said quietly. �I�m so, so sorry to raise your
hopes.�

�What
happened?� Ron snarled.

�The press
conference got heated. And ugly.�

�You think
I care about that?� Ron scoffed.

�No. But
still, it was that, and sorting out the aftermath, that caused me to miss the
closing time of the prison. I am so truly very sorry. I tried to get in but was
forcibly stopped by the Dementors.�

Ron stared
at him, unable to conjure great anger or passion. �Get out,� he requested
finally. �And don�t come back until you have him.�

He would
never have dreamt in the May of last year he would be standing in Severus
Snape�s living room talking so rudely and bluntly to the greatest wizard of the
age, his old headmaster. But compared to the crushing agony in his chest it
felt like nothing. He wasn�t even ashamed of himself. Albus looked at him,
nodded sadly and turned, saying �It should be tomorrow,� before leaving the way
he came.

Instantly,
George snarled at the fireplace from where he had stopped in the door. Ron
shakily reached out to pull his cigarettes from where he�d stuffed them into a
hiding place on the side board, sending the lighter clattering to the floor as
he did so. Angrily, he snatched it up, ramming the cigarette between his lips
and lighting it. He choked on the smoke for the first time in days, testimony
to how cut up he was at having his expectations shattered.

�You�re a
fucking idiot,� he told himself aloud. �You should have seen it fucking
coming.�

He stamped
into the kitchen and pulled another bottle of wine out of the rack, uncorking
it. Again, like the first night after the conviction, he neglected a glass, and
instead raised the wine straight to his lips. It was ros� this time and it was
sweeter, bubblier. More his kind of wine. It was the
first drink he�d had since that night. He dragged off the cigarette and looked
at the cake on the table and the food being kept warm in the oven. He waved his
wand and stored the cake away for the next time Albus decided to stamp on his
heart. Maybe he�s never going to come
home.

Then he
stomped back into the living room and fell down in Severus� armchair whilst
George peered at him worriedly.

�He�s not
going to come home tonight,� Ron told him miserably, taking another swig.

The dog
padded over with sad eyes and put his head on Ron�s leg and Ron instinctively
lifted the cigarette up away from his head. �There�s not a judge in the world
that would convict me for this right now,� he waved it looking at the dog.
�Well. I guess that�s what we said about Severus so you should never be too
careful.�

He sighed
and took another drag and had a swig of wine. His eyes looked up as the flames
in the grate flashed green and Harry appeared, his
arms full of objects. The flames stayed green and, surprised, Ron saw Fred,
George, Dean, Seamus and Neville all tumble out.

�We heard
what happened,� Harry deposited everything in his arms on the sofa. �We thought
you�d be a wreck,� he gestured at the wine bottle and cigarette hanging loosely
now between Ron�s fingers. �So we thought we�d form an SOS party and come and
rescue you from yourself. Don�t object. We have beer.�

�And
pastry,� human George waved a massive box at him.

�And more
cigarettes,� Dean threw a box over.

�And bitchy tirades about Dumbledore,� Fred winked.

�And wine,
because we know you prefer it over beer,� Neville motioned a bottle at him.

�And, more
importantly than all of that, they bought me, because I�m fucking great,�
Seamus beamed at him.

Ron sat
speechless for a moment, looking at his friends all turned out in solidarity
for him at the start of which could have been a harrowing night.

�I think
we�re gonna make �ickle Ron
cry,� Fred teased. �Shall we dump all this in the kitchen, Ron?�

�Yeah,� Ron
found his voice and struggled to his feet, setting the bottle down on the
sideboard and stubbing out the cigarette in his ashtray. �Be careful of the
potions station.�

Fred
disappeared and dog George playfully chased him. Ron looked at Harry.

�I guess
this was your doing?�

Harry
nodded and grimaced sympathetically. Ron threw his arms around him. �Might as
well get a few of these in whilst Severus isn�t around to throw daggers at your
back.�

�No, but I
am,� came an indignant voice, and Ron pulled apart to see Eileen staring at
him. �Not planning on cheating on my son, are you?�

�Your son?�
Harry looked between Eileen and Ron in disbelief.

�Harry
�Eileen, Eileen �Harry,� Ron motioned between them. �And this is Dean, Seamus,
Neville �friends from school, and my twin brothers Fred and George.�

�Ah, so�
the famous Harry Potter,� Eileen smiled wryly.

Harry gave
half an embarrassed wave and Ron laughed. �They�re my
rescue party. Did you hear what Albus said?�

She nodded
and looked sad. �And you worked so hard getting everything ready. He�ll be here
tomorrow?�

�So Albus
said but I won�t hold my breath,� Ron grimaced.

�I�ll leave
you to your party then,� she nodded. �I�ll be upstairs if you need me.�

She ghosted
off and Ron felt everyone in the room look at him, stunned. �What?�

�You�ve
been living with a ghost and didn�t tell us?� Fred asked interestedly.

�No. Well,
yes. But I�ve only known she was here since Severus went to Azkaban, and he had
absolutely no bloody idea either!�

�So what,
she�s been a ghost for years and not shown herself?� Neville asked interestedly,
sinking down onto the floor near the fire and enticing dog George over to him
by clapping.

�That�s
right� it�s complicated,� Ron shrugged. �And quite a sad story, really.�

�Well we
don�t want any of your sad tonight,� Seamus shook his head and pulled open a
bag of crisps. �Where�s Hermione?�

�She�s not
a bloke,� Dean rolled his eyes.

�Anyway,
she�s on a massive tour of China
with her parents,� Harry said. �Ron didn�t want to disturb her holiday��

�This means
a lot to me, you all being here�� Ron blushed.

�You don�t
have to lie,� Seamus grinned.

Ron laughed
and felt the tightness in his chest ease a little. �I�m not lying, you short
Irish bastard.�

�There�s
the Ron we all know and love!�

Two hours
later, the tightness of his chest had almost completely disappeared. He was
lounging in Severus� armchair, his legs swung up over the arm, a smoke in one
hand, his bottle of wine in the other. Fred and Harry had utilised the sofa
between them and Neville was still sat near the fire, dog George draped over his
lap whilst polishing off the last of the dinner Ron had made for Severus. Human
George was lying on his back in front of Ron whilst Dean and Seamus were
playing exploding snap in front of the sofa. The tiny living room had never
felt more crammed, but yet Ron noticed it had never felt more comfortable.

�So how
exactly are you planning to give up your hallucination sticks when Severus
comes home?� Harry asked, amused, tracing his finger round the top of his beer
bottle.

�I�ll just
give up,� Ron shrugged. �It�s a stress thing. And when he�s home I won�t be
stressed any more, will I?�

�Probably not.�

�Well there
you are then,� Ron took a hefty drag and blew out the smoke in little o shaped
rings.

�Seeing you
sitting there like that, legs all long, hand mastering that bottle and smoking,
I can totally see what Severus sees in you,� Seamus cocked his head to the side
with a dirty grin.

�Oh gross,�
Harry threw a cushion at him.

�Gay gay gay,� Fred shook his head
with a wink at Ron.

�I caught
him in pink rubber gloves the other day,� Harry shuddered, nodding at Ron. �It
was like he�d turned into a bloody princess in front of my eyes.�

�Are you
saying I wasn�t a princess already?� Ron stuck out his lower lip and made sad
eyes.

Harry
laughed. �Much longer in those gloves and you�ll be a Queen,� he winked.

Ron choked
on his mouthful of wine and George snorted from the floor. Seamus clapped his
hand down and the cards exploded with a bang, making them all jump and dog
George bark and leap off Neville�s lap.

�Ow, Merlin,� he fell to the side clutching his
crotch.

�Sorry, he�s not particularly good at watching out for your bollocks,� Ron
admitted. �Probably a good thing I can�t feel mine.�

�Still
nothing then?� Dean turned round to look at him.

�Nothing,�
Ron shook his head, without even the faintest trace of disappointment.

�I don�t
get how you�re okay with it,� George said quietly from the floor. �I think I�d
be checking every five seconds to see if they were still there.�

�You do
that anyway,� Fred threw a peanut at him from the sofa.

�It�s not
as bad as you might think,� Ron shrugged. �It would have been a hell of a lot
worse if I couldn�t feel anybody, of
course. Severus has made this far easier on me than it should have been.�

�Eeeeeew,� Harry groaned. �I�m trying to eat here.�

�Well it�s
the truth,� Ron worked his lower lip with his teeth.

�I still
can�t believe you�re gay,� Seamus slurred drunkenly. �I mean, who saw it
coming? You don�t even act like a poof.�

�Seamus,�
Dean scolded, and hit him on the arm.

�What?�
Seamus frowned.

�You
shouldn�t use words like that, they�re offensive.�

�I can
think of a lot worse he could call me,� Ron interjected. �And, if Harry can
call me a bloody shirt-lifter, Seamus can call me a poof.�

Neville laughed and they all turned to look at him. �Sorry, the phrase
shirt-lifter always gets me going.�

�It�s not
as good as butt pirate,� Seamus winked and they all laughed.

�So, we�ve
now established I�m a shirt-lifter, Queen, poof and a butt pirate. Any more for any more?� Ron asked at large.

�Are you,
though?� Fred asked his brother, the alcohol letting the conversation flow
freely. �I�m not being funny, but I�ve never so much as seen you look at
another man� and before you got with Severus, it was girls all the way.�

�Interesting
point,� Ron frowned. �Guess I�ve not really thought about it.�

�Which one of us is the most attractive?� Seamus slurred.

�Oh you�ve
not got a woodtruckle�s chance in a shredder of me
answering that.�

�Why not?!�
Seamus spluttered. �Nobody�s going to take offense.�

�I might,�
Fred frowned. �He�s my brother.�

�Alright,
so, out of me, Harry, Dean and Neville, who�s the most attractive?� Seamus
pressed again, bouncing where he sat.

Ron looked
around amusedly, finding the concept actually very new. Fred was right; he
hadn�t really looked at other men. His eyes were clearly well and truly for
Severus. He looked from face to face. Harry grinned at him sleazily and sent
him shooters with his hands. Neville rolled his eyes and busied himself
tickling George�s ears, a faint blush playing about his cheeks. Seamus batted
his eyelashes and Dean looked over the top of his glasses interestedly.

�You�re all
a bunch of trolls,� Ron proclaimed, and sank a mouthful of wine.

�Oh that�s a cop out,� Dean tutted.
�Out of the lot of you, if I had to be gay with one of you, I�d pick you
anyway, Ron.�

�Why?� Ron
spluttered.

�Experienced,�
Dean raised an eyebrow and winked.

�Just
choose,� Seamus slapped his hand on the floorboards.

�Who do you
think I�d go for?� Ron changed the angle.

They all
looked at one another. �Harry,� said George without much consideration.

�Why?�

�Because he looks the most like Severus, in terms of hair colour, skinny
runt body, shorter than you.�

Harry
kicked him in the shin. �Your sister isn�t complaining about my skinny runt
body.�

�No,
considering what we heard the other night it was most definitely the opposite,�
Fred grinned evilly. �You should keep it down, Harry. Nobody needs to know what
you were positively screaming about
the other night.�

Harry
flushed crimson.

�Who�s to
say I�d go for someone that reminded me of Severus? Maybe I�d want a total
change?� Ron frowned.

�Neville,
then,� Dean said and Neville joined Harry in the burning face corner.

Ron said
nothing and took a drag off his cigarette, and nodded once.

�Oh why?
Why would you choose that limpet when you can have some hard Irish muscle?�
Seamus flexed his arms.

�Seamus, are you trying to tell me something? You seem awfully eager for me to
pick you,� Ron raised an eyebrow.

�All mighty
Seamus, the power to turn straight men gay and straight women lesbian,� Dean
grinned, punching him on the shoulder lightly.

�You�d
really pick me?� Neville asked quietly. �Why?�

�It�s
always the quiet ones you have to watch,� Ron smiled at him.

�That�s
true. Severus is unusually quiet when he�s not bitching at someone,� Harry
conceded, and popped the top off another bottle of beer.

�Which is
nowhere near as much as usual lately,� George nodded from the floor. �He�s a
nice bloke.�

�Who would
have thought it?� Fred laughed.

�Love
conquers all battles,� Harry wrinkled his nose and pretended to shove a finger
down his throat.

***

When Ron
awoke the next morning, he was still sat in the armchair the way he had been
the night before. Someone had thrown a blanket over him and stuffed a cushion
between his head and the winged back of the armchair. He chewed and his mouth
tasted disgusting. On further inspection, the floor was strewn with the debris
of a good party, punctuated by bodies breathing in and out. With a smirk Ron noted
that George had his hand in his trousers and that Neville was cuddled up with
the dog like a teddy bear, and Harry had his head in Fred�s lap on the sofa.

�Looks like
you all had a good night,� Eileen said quietly from the doorway.

�Mmm,� Ron
blinked sleepily. He noticed sunshine trying to push in through the curtains.

He
staggered out of the chair and picked his way through the mess into the
bathroom. He peered into the mirror and had to blink twice. He had obviously
been the first one to fall asleep, because he had a moustache and a beard drawn
on his face in thick black pen. �Whores,� he grinned, before yawning and using
the toilet, the easy feeling falling away from him as he remembered that he
still did not have his Severus at home with him.
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The Definition of Inappropriate