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Torn	By : starstruck86 Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Snape/Ron Views: 3458 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
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Chapter List
- 4
- 5
- 6
It took Ron
all of ten seconds to remember why he was waking up alone in an alien bed on a
Sunday morning. With a miserable groan, he rolled over and buried his face in
the pillow which should have smelt of Severus, but it didn�t.

Ron had
barely spoken a word to his husband since Wednesday evening, which had been so
disastrous he couldn�t face another round. As well as his original pain of
grief, Ron found the pain of his loneliness and regret for being so hurtful to
Severus even worse. George had spent all possible time glued to Severus� side
and Ron missed him, too.

You�ve brought this on yourself, you
idiot.

�I know,�
he groaned into the pillow. �I know I have� but I can�t stop this� I can�t make
myself feel��

Ron heard a
voice in the hallway then, and he shot upright to try and listen.

***

Severus was
on his third cup of coffee when he heard the Floo roar into life and then
unmistakable footsteps in the hallway.

�Oh,
morning Harry,� he said glumly, sliding his reading glasses off his face and
dropping them onto the Prophet.

�Since when
have you worn glasses?� Harry frowned.

�Since my eyes gave up the ghost on small print,� Severus threw them a filthy
look atop the paper.

�They suit
you,� Harry shrugged, and motioned to one of the chairs. �Mind if I?�

�Be my
guest,� Severus waved at it, trying to estimate exactly how many seconds it
would before Harry commented on how bloody awful he looked.

He felt the
green, beautiful �Merlin I still hate
thinking that about him- eyes
taking in his posture and facial expressions.

�You�ll
hate me for this, but you look like shit,� Harry was wide-eyed. �Is
everything��

�Alright?
No, Harry, things are about as far from alright as they can be,� Severus didn�t
particularly see the point of lying.

Since
Wednesday he and Ron had been existing in an
unbearable relationship of silence. Severus had been reminded just how lonely
sleeping in a king-size bed by one�s self was. Not entirely alone, I had George.

�What�s
happened?� Harry frowned.

�I don�t know much of it� I don�t see what it is that Ron�s got against me at
the minute, but he most certainly does.�

�Can�t you Legilimens and find out?�

�Oh, of course!� Severus laughed sarcastically. �Yes,
break into my husband�s mind and shatter the last remaining threads of trust he
seems to have in me. I�ll get onto it right away.�

�Things are
that bad?� Harry leant forward. �We all wondered why you�d gone so quiet��

�Not me,
him. I�ve told him he needs to keep in contact with his family but he�s adopted
this dead stare on his face and it��

Severus
didn�t want to admit to Harry that it was breaking his heart to look at. As
much as he loathed to admit it, however, Harry was not
thick, and could probably tell just how Severus felt by looking at his pale
skin and eyes mirrored by deep purple bags.

�Where is
he now?� Harry asked, eyes taking on the look of �I�ll beat some sense into
him�.

�In the
spare room� Where he�s been sleeping since mid-week.�

Harry�s
mouth fell open in shock. He snapped his jaw together and said, �Why on earth
didn�t you come and get somebody?�

�I really
thought he would snap out of it,� Severus shook his head, eyes becoming glazed.
�I knew he was taking Molly�s death hard� but I never thought he would turn on
me like this.�

�And you�re sure it�s turning on you?� Harry asked for clarification.

�Oh yes,�
Severus nodded. �He�s made himself perfectly clear; he�s just not told me why.�

�This is so
unlike him� well. Unlike him recently, since he�s been with you. Before he did
he was always prone to turn on the people that mattered when he needed them.
But after his injuries, and the way you helped him cope with them� I really
thought he�d put that behind him.�

Severus
flashed Harry a warning glance as he heard a door swing open in the hallway. He
busied himself with the paper again, unwilling to be treated like rubbish in
front of company.

�Hey,�
Severus almost fell off his seat at hearing Ron speak, even though he knew it
wasn�t directed at him.

�Hi, Ron,�
Harry got up and gave his friend a swift hug; Severus dared a glance upwards to
see Harry�s eyes grow even wider in horror looking at the state of his best
friend.

Ron was
pale, with sleep tousled hair; his face looked every single bit as tired as
Severus� did. He purposefully did not look at his husband and chose to hover by
the doorway.

�How�re you
holding up?� Harry asked the obvious question and looked expectantly at Ron for
an answer.

�I�m fine,�
Ron told him.

Never has there been a bigger lie
spoken in the walls of this fucking house. Severus tried to exude calm but his blood was
boiling. So that was it �Ron expected him to continue their miserable existence
until he decided to forgive Severus for whatever unknowing sin he had
committed, not caring what that was doing for Severus� own mental state.

�You don�t
look fine,� Harry said bluntly. �You look like you�ve not slept since the
funeral. What�s the matter?� Severus heard the sharp intake of breath and
guessed what Harry was about to do. �Is this greasy piece of shit mistreating
you?�

Ron
absolutely loathed it, normally, when Harry insulted his husband. Severus had
had to deflect hexing wars more than once. And Harry full well knew it. By
trying to provoke Ron, he was gauging how bad the situation truly was. Severus�
heart hammered in his chest as they waited for Ron�s answer.

�That
depends on your definition of mistreatment,� Ron said stonily.

�Well you
tell me yours and I�ll tell you mine,� Harry pulled out his wand, and for extra
effect (Severus found himself dearly hoping it was only that, because his own wand was still in the bedroom), pointed
it squarely at Severus� chest.

�It doesn�t
matter,� Ron shrugged.

�Oh believe
me it matters,� Harry pushed further. �I�ve wanted a legitimate reason to hex
him into the next century for two years. Give me that reason.�

�Put your
wand away, Harry,� Ron snapped. �Don�t big yourself up with a sense of
importance which no longer belongs to you.�

So it�s not just me then. Everyone
gets the same treatment. Severus wanted to feel relief but couldn�t.

A sharp
stab came through the chain bond, so strong that Severus jerked and Ron rounded
on him.

�What�s
that, don�t like feeling what you�ve caused?�

�What�s he
caused?� Harry demanded.

Ron�s
response was to look, once again, upon Severus with utter abhorrence, and to
stomp down the hallway and disappear from sight into his attic room. They heard
the trapdoor clang shut, and then instantly the loud, crashing sound of music
filtering through the floorboards.

�Well I
have to pay him his dues,� Severus shook his head. �His sense of irony in his
musical choices at the moment is stellar.�

Harry
listened to the words creeping downwards and couldn�t help his own slightly
hitched smile. �Love Stinks?�

�Apparently
so,� Severus hoped he managed to keep the hurt out of his tone.

�You know I was just acting?� Harry checked, chucking his wand down on the
kitchen table and looking utterly perplexed by his best friend.

Severus
nodded with a swallow. �And he probably did too.�

�I can�t believe he was so�� Harry�s tone became ashen. �And d�you know
what else I can�t believe, Severus?�

�What?�
Severus asked warily.

�That you
let him stand there and treat you like some filthy stain on his bed sheet!
What�s the matter with you?!�

�I can�t
fight back, I�ve tried that. It was even worse then. I just think this has to
run its course. He�ll come back to his senses��

�Sure about that?� Harry raised an eyebrow, and didn�t wait for a reply �he
already knew Severus� answer. �I have never, ever seen him like that before.
He�s taking it worse than any of them.�

�He�s so� I
can�t�� Words failed him.

�I want to
smack him round the head,� Harry�s eyes flitted down the hallway. �He has no
right to look at you that way��

�I honestly
don�t know what it is I�m supposed to have done, unless it�s the fact I�m trying
to keep his feet on the ground which is driving him to act this way.�

�No,� Harry
licked his lips thoughtfully. �He�s so� simplistic that way. Ron loves to be
taken care of. He likes it when people show affection that way. It was� well.
It was one of the largest obstacles I had against your relationship. I couldn�t
see you as anything other than this cold-hearted bastard, who never seemed to
have a kind word or thoughtful action. I know now I was wrong, but at the time,
I couldn�t really place how you were going to be a good thing for Ron. When he loves to be looked after so much.�

�He said
something about me never being able to fill his mother�s shoes,� Severus
swallowed. �That I would never be able to take her place.�

Harry
looked at him for a moment. �Well, we can assume that�s the grief, I think.�

�Mmm.�

�And you,
Severus, I can see you�re at your wits end. I�m sorry, but I�m going to tell
his family.�

�No!� Severus breathed, life roaring into him again. �No, please don�t do that
Harry. Just give us time� he will never forgive me if I��

�If you seek help? He�s been trying to teach you to reach out for that for
months, Severus.�

�Not now,�
Severus shook his head. �Please, Harry, just give me a chance before you run to
his family. They�re hurt enough.�

�They would be ashamed to the tips of their flaming hair to see how he�s
treating you.�

�He�ll be
ashamed enough himself when he pulls out of it,� Severus shook his head. �This
isn�t him, I know it�s not.�

�It�s� more
him as I used to know him,� Harry warned. �Before you�
somehow, had a calming influence on his temper, on his control.�

�I need you
to promise me you won�t interfere, Harry,� Severus forced as much desperation
as he could bear into his tone. �We need to� sort this out between us. This
isn�t just a man dealing with his first experience of grief� it seems like it�s
something deeper and until even I know what that is, I don�t want help from
anybody else.�

Harry
assessed him with emerald eyes again and finally nodded. �But God, Severus,
don�t let this go on forever. You say you�ve been like this since Wednesday?�

�Since the funeral,� Severus whispered hoarsely.

Harry
stared at him.

�Please?�

�You�ve got another week, Severus, and then I�m doing what I can to help. I
know that turning on the people you need isn�t the way forward.�

�I�ll never leave him,� Severus felt the need to say it.

Harry got
to his feet and gave him an odd look. �Then� well. If someone
was treating me like that, Severus? If someone made me look as hell
rough as you do at the moment? I like to believe I�d listen to the man who told
me I was a fool for staying.�

Severus
thought on Harry�s words long after the young wizard had departed. He hated the
implication within Harry�s tone, as though Ron were somehow abusing him with
his actions and verbal slights. No. Severus� pride had taken much worse than
that over the years. But he couldn�t deny the hurt which swamped him at the
utter rejection.

For two
years it seemed Ron had constantly lectured him on letting go, giving all to
the relationship, body and mind. And now Ron had reneged on his behalf of the
bargain. He no longer seemed to want to share anything with Severus at all.
That stung more than anything.

***

The day had
been so miserable after Harry�s visit, and so lonely, that Severus had retired
to bed early, settling himself into their bed surrounded by work to keep his
mind occupied. He�d been working diligently for two hours when he heard the
bedroom door creak open, but he paid it no heed. George had taken to tiptoeing
around the house and sleeping on Ron�s side of the bed, as though to make up
for his absence.

So it was
with shock that Severus nearly sent an ink pot flying when Ron�s voice spoke.

�Severus? We need to talk.� The tone was soft, and almost like Ron normally
sounded.

Safely
stowing the ink pot on the bedside cabinet, Severus looked up at his husband
and saw the skin of his face wet from crying, eyes so red they must have been
raw.

Severus
banished all the scrolls into a neat pile on the dressing table and watched as
Ron moved forward, climbing over the trunk at the foot of the bed to sit where
Severus� feet stopped under the blanket. He curled into an upright ball and
hooked his arms around his knees, upon which he rested his chin. He looked
almost infant-like in his sorrow.

�What do
you want to talk about?� Severus asked softly.

�About the
way I�ve been treating you,� Ron�s lip wobbled a little but he managed to keep
most of his nervousness inside.

Severus
took a moment to study the chain bond. He could feel the nerves, and his own
worry. But still there was a prickling of something he couldn�t place.

�I�ve been
off the rails, haven�t I?� Ron continued.

�It�s not
been pleasant,� Severus murmured.

�I�m
sorry.�

�Thank
you,� Severus wondered where Ron was heading.

�Will you
let me make it up to you?� Ron�s eyes were wide and pleading and for the first
time in over a week Severus felt a pulse of desire through the bond.

�With sex?� he raised a quizzical eyebrow. �I�m sorry to disappoint you, Ron,
but I�m not really� in the right place for that.�

�I knew you would say that,� Ron blushed, and looked at the blanket.

�But I have
to confess I�ve wanted a proper hug and a cuddle....�

Ron didn�t
wait to be invited a second time. With an overwhelming love of the familiar
feeling, he sank down in between the sheets of their marital bed and welded
himself to Severus� side, pressing his face to the crook of his neck and
inhaling. �Oh God, I�ve missed that smell so, so much, Severus.�

Severus
tried to reply but his words died in his throat as Ron�s hot lips kissed down
it, tongue swiping out to lick every so often in a way which told him that the
cuddle would not just remain a cuddle, no matter how hard he protested.

�I missed
you,� Severus gave himself over to the beautiful sensation of being gripped and
wanted. He turned in the bed to face Ron, so their bodies were aligned
perfectly.

They met at
the lips and both of them groaned; Ron reached up a hand and sank into Severus�
long hair, left loose, and Severus gripped Ron�s back tightly, as though afraid
he would pull away or disappear at any moment.

�Missed you
so much,� Ron panted, thrusting his hips against Severus� groin, his t-shirt
riding up with the effort.

�I missed you too,� Severus told him, and rolled him onto his back, following
with ease and covering the body with his own. �I couldn�t have dealt with
another day� of�� he broke off gasping as Ron wormed a hand into his underwear
and gripped his fast growing erection. �No more silence,� he tried again, the
hand had begun to smooth up and down in quick strokes, with firm pressure.

�No more
silence,� Ron tilted his head back with a moan.

Even with
his fingers curled around his husband�s dick, Ron found himself fighting with
the torrent of emotion waiting to burst out of him. As he grazed a thumb across
the tip, spreading the pre-come it encountered, he felt a new desire to tease
the man.

And so it
was that he pushed Severus off him sideways, and ducked down before he could
register the change; Ron had his lips around Severus� erection before he could
be stopped. He wasted no time in swirling his tongue around, tasting the pearly
liquid forming on the head; dragging it back into his mouth and savouring it
like precious nectar. And then he put his teeth to use, and gently nipped the
foreskin he could reach. He smiled at the cry which emitted above the blankets
whilst he worked underneath.

Severus
shifted completely onto his back and spread his legs; Ron crawled between them
gracefully, never letting the erection leave his lips. He slurped against it as
he settled down between the parted thighs. He channelled all his emotion into
servicing the cock in front of him, probing it with his tongue, licking it softly;
sucking it with all the force he could muster. He knew he needed more than a
blow job to satisfy what was throbbing between his own legs, however.

He sucked
off the end with a pop and listened as Severus protested above him. He ripped
the blanket above him back and dove forward, pressing his erection into his husband�s
perineum.

�I�m going
to fuck you,� he hissed, and dropped a blazing trail of fire kisses up the flat
stomach. �Fuck you good and hard.�

Severus
wasn�t sure that was the best medicine for either of them, but he was so
painfully hard it was all he could think about once the words left Ron�s mouth.
He felt a cool, slick finger probing his entrance and he gave himself up to the
pleasure of Ron manually stretching him, first with one finger, then two, and
then a third, thrusting in and out of him with precision. As Ron�s middle
finger pressed down against his prostate, he bucked.

�Oh look what I found,� Ron muttered, dropping his head to suckle on a nipple,
before purposefully angling his finger and nudging it back and forth with
agonizing slowness. The action hit the target perfectly.

�Oh my
fucking g-god,� Severus panted, hips thrusting in a rhythm already. �If you do
that much longer I�m going to come.�

Ron kept
his hand where it was and let the middle finger scrape and probe as it liked,
loving the way with each cry his husband gave, his tone became hoarser and
darker.

�Yeah you like being fucked like that, don�t you?� he whispered, allowing a
final push before removing his hand and almost instantaneously replacing it
with his dick.

He matched
Severus� rising hips with a punishing pace, gaining leverage from the way his
knees were bent on the bed. He reached up and twisted Severus� nipples, eyes
drinking in the sight of Severus with his head tilted back, his eyes closed but
his mouth open in a telling gasp of gratitude.

�I l-love
you,� Ron managed to choke out, his throat thick.

As he
pushed in again, his prick throbbed with the want to spill his seed within the
hot passage, but he held it off. He needed to make sure he was in control
before he let go.

�I love you
more,� Severus rasped, and with a great sucking inwards of breath, came over
Ron�s chest. �Oh god, oh god, Ron I love you so much, come in me, come in me
please, I need to feel you� it�s been so lonely, I need you to� oh, oh fucking
hell again?�

Severus
didn�t know what made it so special. But all he knew was the fact that he had
just finished one orgasm when another grabbed him by the balls and squeezed it
out through his cock. It made him scream with the effort, as he burned up. �Oh
fuck fuck fuck fuck shit yes� oh gods��

Ron was
still pounding into him, shocked by the way he�d made his lover come twice. It
was nearly enough to push him over the edge. What did do so was when he saw
Severus snake his hand down between them and wrap it around his own erection,
gripping it tightly, pumping the shaft to milk out the last remaining ropes of
come as he groaned. And then that hand let go, scooped the whiteness up and put
it to Ron�s lips, smearing it there.

�Noooooo, shit, ah ah ah ah fuck,� Ron�s grunts were
punctuated by the way his body jerked violently, all inhibition leaving him for
the moment of his orgasm. �Noooooofuck.�

Oh fuck no, no, NO! Ron shouted at himself mentally but
he knew it was no use. His body trembled and the bond flooded open, and
everything he had worked so hard to keep hidden burst into Severus� veins.

It caught
him by surprise, as he lay so thoroughly sated. At first it was just the
prickle he�d caught a feel of for the past while, and then it turned into
something much more painful, much more ruining. He gasped aloud as the fire
consumed him �a fire of whirling hatred, resentment and� blame.

Ron only
noticed he was sobbing again when he saw his husband�s face tense and pale.

�What�?� Severus croaked, beginning to sweat �it stung on his forehead and his
inner thighs.

�You were
there,� Ron burst out, tears dripping down his face. �You�re meant to be this
fucking GREAT potions master, you can save anything and anyone� you saved me�
you�ve saved yourself before� but you didn�t save her!�

Severus
could only stare back in shock as the pain consumed him.

�You let her die, it�s your fault,� Ron writhed suddenly and wrenched out of
Severus� body, face contorted from the pain. �You didn�t save her. Why? It�s
your fault she�s dead!�

�R-Ron, I
don�t k-know-�

�IT�S YOUR
FAULT! WHAT WAS IT? WERE YOU JEALOUS OR SOMETHING?�

Severus
never wanted to see Ron�s face so distorted with rage again. He was deathly
white and his eyes were an icy fire which Severus wanted to escape at all costs.
But he was trapped, rendered motionless by the way the bond flooded him with
the anger Ron had kept pent up. His own emotions were mixing in the ether, fear
and worry and the sting of being�

He used me. Severus couldn�t breathe. Nothing�s changed.

�R-Ron,,,� he saw blackness tinge around the edge of his vision
and he tried to slow his breathing down.

�No, I
don�t want to hear your excuses,� Ron screamed, and leapt off the bed. �I
can�t��

If he said
anything else after that, it was lost on Severus. The blackness crept out to
the middle of his eyes and he let them close, feeling dizzy and nauseous. The
sound of Ron shouting followed him straight into nothingness.

***

The
dizziness didn�t abate as Severus rang the doorbell of Remus� house
persistently. He had George by his side and the dog kept whining in a low gripe.

�Alright,
alright, just stop ringing the fucking doorbell!� There was a shout from inside
and a light popped on.

Severus
heard locks being loosened and his breath came in short, sharp pants.

�What the
fuck is going on?� Remus� sleep-ridden voice shot out as soon as the door swung
open, but his eyes widened taking in Severus on the doorstep. �Sev? What�s wrong? Has something happened?�

�I need to
come in,� Severus said weakly.

Remus
blinked and immediately stepped back, drawing his dressing gown a little closer
to his body. �Severus, you look awful, what�s happened?�

Severus
didn�t know how to explain, he didn�t know how to reach out. And although he
would hate himself for it later, loathe himself, even,
he took the only possible way of conveying how he felt inside. He burst into a
sob of tears and never saw the colour leave Remus� face. He felt strong arms
slide around his torso, almost holding him up, but comforting him as well.
There was definitely a soothing hand on his back.

�What�s
wrong, have you had an argument with Ron?� Remus knew it had to be more than
that �a simple shouting match was not enough to reduce the Severus Snape he
knew to tears.

Severus
gave him an extremely garbled explanation of his life for the last week and
finished with passing out.

�Good God,�
Remus breathed somewhere close to his ear. �Come on, living room, now. You need
to rest, Severus� how on earth did you manage to
apparate here?�

�I needed to get out; I couldn�t stay with the feelings��

�Are they
less now?�

Severus
gave a relieved nod but his mouth twisted with shame when he saw tears splash
off his face onto Remus� dressing gown. �I�m so sorry, I woke you up and I bet
I�ve disturbed Teddy and-�

�Teddy�s asleep.�
Remus shook his head. �And Dora�s at work tonight. It�s just me here, don�t
worry. You�ve disturbed nobody.�

Severus
finally let out a gust of breath at that and sank onto the sofa, burying his
face in his hands.

�How did
you leave Ron?� Remus asked uneasily.

�He was
asleep when I came round. I must have been out for a few hours. I left him
asleep.�

�And how
will he react when he wakes up and find you gone?�

Severus
sniffled and said, �Probably cheer and torch my belongings.�

�No, Sev,�
Remus fell down next to him and put an arm around his shoulders. �He�s
obviously been seriously hurt� and he�s looked to place blame and for some
reason it fell on you.�

�I was an easy target,� Severus gulped.

�I can�t
think he would ever hurt you in his right mind.�

�Oh Remus,�
Severus hid his face. �He is in his right mind. He�s not been possessed, he�s
not been drugged� he�s saying all these things because he feels them� he thinks
I let Molly Weasley die. Oh God it all makes sense� Oh God.�

�Sev, please calm down,� Remus begged, summoning a box of tissues.

�What good
will calm bloody do Remus? Right at this second, what�s the f-fucking point?!�

Remus
didn�t want to agree, but he most certainly saw Severus� point.

***

Ron awoke
with a jolt. He instantly knew something was wrong. His entire body tingled
with the implication of extreme drama and hurt. He swatted out for the alarm
and stopped the shrill bell echoing through the room. He noticed the bedroom
door was wide open. He pushed himself up stiffly and looked at the sheets
around him. At some point in the night they had clearly held two.

�Severus?�
He called out, and strained his ears for any sound of movement.

He looked
down at the bed again and saw the sticky production of sex smeared across the
sheets, though he didn�t recall where it had come from.

�George? Georgieluffs?�
He tried again, but still the house remained silent.

The minutes
ticked by on the glowing clock display and he knew he should dress and shower
for work, but his limbs were heavy and his mind simply hurt.

What the fuck did I do last night? Ron managed to swing his legs off
the bed, and looked down at his crotch, seeing the remnants of come smattered
across it. Well I obviously fucked him.

As he stood
up, Ron couldn�t deny that he felt better than he had in days. He hurt, but it
was as though his mind had been cleared of a great weight. His chest felt
lighter. His ribs had been agony since mid-week and now they slumbered
peacefully.

He couldn�t
place what on earth was missing.

***

When
Severus came to, it was to feel a gentle grumbling next to his head. He tried
to open his eyes but failed.

�Dora, I
promise you I have a sterling reason to be found like this.�

Like what? Severus concentrated on his bodily
position and recognised the strong warmth of being held. The grumbling was
Remus� voice reverberating through his chest into Severus� ear.

�God knows
what�s going on in Ron Weasley�s mind at the minute,
but I think last night he near on killed him�� Remus clearly thought Severus
was still asleep.

What, no, that�s not right. He
didn�t try and kill me at all. God, Remus, you�re a bloody overdramatic fool,
you really are.

�I don�t
think either of them knew the true effect of negative feelings through the chain bond they so stupidly entered
into.� Remus went on.

I love my chain bond. Don�t call it
stupid.

He heard
Remus relay what Severus had told him the night before of his life since the
funeral, and Severus almost groaned when he reached the part about passing out.

�What is it
about your friends, Remus?� Tonks� voice was soft and exasperated. �Can�t any
of them just be fucking happy?�

�I�ve been
asking myself the same question,� Severus opened his eyes, and saw just how
close he was to Remus.

They were
still on the sofa, but during the course of the night Severus had twisted into
Remus� body, his head level with his chest, and, Severus was mortified to
realise, he was half sitting in his lap.

�Oh thank
Merlin,� Remus blinked. �I thought you might never wake up.�

�He didn�t
nearly kill me, what the fuck are you on?� Severus
asked sleepily.

�Oh, really? So you were the one who ran diagnostic tests at three this morning,
were you?� Remus� eyes narrowed.

�What?�
Severus was very aware he was still in Remus� lap, with his wife but three feet
away.

�You were a
wreck, physically and mentally,� Remus shrugged. �Your heartbeat was so slow I
really thought I was going to have to up and get you to the hospital.�

�He didn�t
mean to do that, though,� Severus instantly replied. �You said yourself, neither
of us really knew. Well, I did sort of. But I never dreamt he was� that that
was what was wrong.�

�We were there� and we all saw you do everything we could.� Tonks frowned.

�But Ron wasn�t,� Remus mused. �He was with George, wasn�t he?�

�Maybe that�s
where it�s come from, then?� she tapped a finger over her lips. �Anyway. Both of you look like you�ve been dragged through a
hedge backwards. Coffee?�

�God yes,�
Remus yawned, and Severus felt uncomfortable that he was close enough to
recognise the fact that Remus� morning breath still smelt exactly the same
twenty years later than the last time he�d smelt it. �And then we can talk
about where Severus is going to stay.�

�Excuse me?�

�You really
think I�m letting you go back to that?� Remus� eyebrows nearly shot off his
head. �No fucking way, Severus.�

�I can�t
leave him alone,� Severus frowned, and finally worked up the co-ordination to
flop off Remus� lap onto the sofa. �I�m not giving up just like that. He has
serious problems he needs help with.�

�And who�s going to help you?� Tonks asked pointedly. �You�re not exactly known
for your ability to accept help, Severus.�

Severus�
chest shuddered slightly as he thought on that. No. I�m not. But that changes now.

�You�re
going to help me,� he looked between Remus and Tonks. �And
when I�ve made myself feel a bit more human, I�m going to Arthur.�

�Which you should have done days ago,� Remus threw in grumpily. �What
possessed you into thinking you could handle this by yourself?�

�I�m well
aware, Remus, that the last person I marshalled through any form of grief was
yourself,� Severus muttered. �And, to be honest, I thought at the time I did a
pretty good job until you bloody attached on to me with the force of a limpet
until I had to break it off for my own sanity.�

Remus threw
him a mutinous look and said nothing.

�So please,
you owe me, Remus. We�ll do this my way.�

�Control freak,� Remus sighed, and grudgingly nodded his head. �And for the
record, Severus, you did an amazing job. And I know you�re right about Ron
because he loves you and your overbearing, caring nature and your ability to
sneak all manner of potions into a morning cup of tea.�

�You knew I was doing that?� Severus flushed red.

�You can�t
disguise the taste of certain potions, no matter how hard you try,� Remus
laughed. �And Ron must know too.�

�I�m going
to put in for a grant to research a way to make everything odourless and taste
free,� Severus glared at the carpet, annoyed that Remus had seemingly known
every hidden step Severus had ever put in place to protect and heal him.

�And can
you teach me the subtle art?� Tonks spoke with a smile. �It might help me get
some more bloody pain medication in Mr
I�m-Able-To-Bear-It-Whilst-Whinging-Mightily over there.�

�And here I
was thinking I was the only one that never changed,� Severus shot a sly glance
at Remus.

As Tonks
disappeared to make coffee, and Remus sloped off to the toilet muttering about
people who ganged up on others, Severus leant back on the sofa feeling slightly
punch-drunk. The gentle banter seemed to have overwhelmed him, and it struck
him just how quickly he�d become accustomed to miserable silence.

I have to go and tell Arthur his son
is� well, what exactly? How do I come out with this? Oh fuck me.

It seemed
so long ago that he and Ron had danced together in the kitchen to celebrate the
news of Ron�s seemingly restored fertility. The bruise on his leg from where
he�d crashed into the kitchen chair had faded. Severus almost wanted it back as
a reminder.

And he
heard Teddy�s gurgle come from the kitchen and smiled.

Maybe that�ll help get him back on
track.
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Torn