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Ceremonies of Strife	By : Lomonaaeren Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Draco Views: 16218 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, and I am making no money from this writing.

Chapter List
- 4
- 5
- 6
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Chapter Five�Angry and
Silent

�� Harry
watched in sick fascination as Ron�s face turned redder and redder, as he spoke
those words about seeing Draco dead before he saw him with Harry. From the
corner of his mouth, he saw Draco smirk and open his mouth to respond.

�� And a new
thought slammed into his head. I stood
there and simply watched as Draco insulted Ginny. Am I going to allow this to
happen again?

�� He had his
wand in his waistband, as he did so often lately. He drew it and cast a spell
that Dearborn
had showed them in the first week of Offensive and Defensive, a short, sharp
lightning bolt that flew from ceiling to floor and detonated sparks and colored
lights along the way.

�� That
stopped Draco�s retort and made Ron�s mouth hang open. Hermione let out a sharp
cry and took a step back. Harry was almost glad of that, because it gave him
something to say at once before he had to intervene between Ron and Draco.

�� I�m sorry
I frightened you, Hermione,� he said, smiling at her and coming a few steps
nearer. �Are you all right?�

�� Yes,�
Hermione said. She had already seen that there was no scorched place on the
floor or ceiling, he thought, and Hermione�s logic reasserted itself fast in
the face of evidence. She blinked and looked at him closely. �What was that
for?�

�� Because
there are some utterly ridiculous arguments going on here,� Harry said sharply,
�and I�m tried of being silent in them.� He turned and scowled at Ron. �He�s my
boyfriend, freely chosen. I�m in love with him. Why would you say that you�re
going to kill him?�

�� Ron stared
at him, and then found his feet. �I didn�t say I�d kill him!� he snapped. �I
said that I�d see him dead before I�d see him with you.�

�� Harry
folded his arms and leaned against the wall of the room. He stiffened in some
irritation when he felt Draco lean against his back; he could guess what the
expression on Draco�s face was. But Ron had said the more offensive thing�even
though Draco had instigated him to say it�and Harry had to deal with that
first. Besides, Draco�s turn would come.

�� How were
you planning to see him dead if you weren�t going to kill him?� he asked, as
patiently as he could.

�� Ron looked
at him, moving one foot slowly back and forth over the floor, and then looked
sullenly down at his foot, as though it was more interesting than Harry.

�� How?�
Harry repeated.

�� Look,� Ron
said, and now he was talking rapidly and scowling so hard that Harry thought he
might burn his shoe to pieces with his gaze, �I didn�t mean that. Well, I
didn�t really mean it. It was just a
saying. I just don�t want him with you.� He looked up, and his face was full of
sadness and hopeless yearning. �You�re not really going to be with him, are
you, Harry?�

�� I don�t
see what business it is of yours if I am,� said Harry, �since I�m not cheating
on Ginny with him. You didn�t ask my permission before you and Hermione got
together.� He had to be reassured that we
didn�t want each other, Harry�s conscience suggested in the next moment.

�� But that�s not the same thing, Harry
snapped back, and his conscience meekly shut up.

�� But we
care about you,� Ron said, with a glance for support at Hermione. Hermione
looked in the other direction, and Ron�s voice was desperate when he turned
back to Harry. �We really do. And I
can�t think that Malfoy is going to be good for you. Sure, you have compatible
magic, but what basis is that for a relationship, really? There�s no way that
you can just stay with him for that.�

�� Harry
stared at Ron. He had expected more of a reaction to his declaration that he
was in love with Draco than a ramble about how it was only compatible magic
keeping them together.

�� Then he saw
Ron�s wide, hopeful eyes, and he realized the truth with a sigh. Ron didn�t let himself hear that, not
really, or at least he�s allowing himself to think that I don�t mean it. That
means that he�ll ignore it as long as he can, and I�ll have to repeat it to
make an impression on him.

�� I�m in love with Draco,� Harry said. �I want
to be with him. I want to laugh and joke with him, and tell him when he�s
wrong.� He felt Draco�s muscles tighten against his back�extremely well, since
Draco didn�t wear a shirt. But he saw no need to turn around right now. �I want
to have sex with him.�

�� Ron made a
strangled noise and lifted his hand in front of his face. �Mate, you don�t need
to talk about that.�

�� As if you
and Hermione weren�t having sex half the time when we shared a room together,�
Harry said. �I knew what it meant when you vanished from the dining hall and
then were scribbling away on your Auror Conduct homework the next day.�

��

�� Ron shook
his head, staring at him. Harry sighed and rubbed his head. �The point is that
things have changed, Ron. I fell in love with Draco. I was just a little less
obvious about it than you were, that�s all. And I don�t think you have the
right to tell me what I can do in regards to him. You don�t have the right to
threaten him. You�ll apologize for making the threat now, or you�ll get out of
my house and not come back again until you�re ready to say sorry.�

*

�� Draco
touched Harry�s shoulder and felt the muscles shifting beneath his hand. It was
a wonderful thing to stroke them, up and down, and rejoice in the physicality
and strength Harry exuded while at the same time he listened to words saying
Harry was in love with him and wanted to defend him.

�� He did that
to distract himself from the fact that he was sure his reckoning was coming.

�� Harry
finished his latest speech and glared at Weasley. Weasley shuffled his feet and
glared at Harry, and then at Draco. Draco raised an eyebrow and draped himself
even more outrageously over Harry�s back. He didn�t need words to make Weasley
grind his teeth, he was pleased to see.

�� Weasley
said, �His father tried to kill my sister. He tried to torture us more than
once. Have you forgotten that he was going to hit you with an Unforgivable in
sixth year, Harry? Have you forgotten that he was going to kill Dumbledore?�

�� Draco
froze. If there was any tactic that might work with Harry, it was this one, and
he was a fool not to have foreseen that Weasley would use it. Harry hadn�t
talked much about their Hogwarts days with Draco, but of course he would resent
the memories. Of course he would want to be assured that he had a lover who
wouldn�t turn on him, who would never hurt him, and Draco was not someone like
that. Probably he would wheel around now and glare and speak hurtful words, and
then Draco would be the only one left, alone and helpless, with this powerful
feeling towards Harry swelling under his sternum.

�� Then Harry
reached back and gripped Draco�s hand without turning away from Weasley, and
Draco shut his eyes and reprimanded himself for a fool. It was only his fear of
being left out of control that had made him say that. He was still afraid of
the power of his emotions, still afraid of what would happen if someone he
loved should turn on him like Lucius had. He didn�t think he could resist
Harry.

�� But maybe I should think that I might have
to, before I panic.

�� I�m not
forgetting that,� Harry said quietly. �I�m replacing the memories with other
ones. I know that he didn�t want to kill Dumbledore. I know that he isn�t his
father. I know that I won that fight where he tried to use an Unforgivable on
me, and I gave him scars in return�scars that I�ve seen,� he added. He tugged
on Draco�s hand for a moment, as if he wanted Draco to move forwards and show
the scars from Sectumsempra on his chest, but Draco stood still. He
wasn�t about to show off for Granger and Weasley�s edification. Harry stroked
his wrist in understanding. �And I know that we tortured him, too.�

�� Not the
same way,� Weasley said. He took a deep breath like someone getting ready to
play the card that he hoped would win him everything. �Did you forget that he
almost killed me, too, with that
poison that he put in the drink?�

�� Harry
winced, and then sighed. �That�s something that I don�t like to think about,�
he said, �because of how close we came to losing you.�

�� Draco
tensed again, but Harry stroked his wrist a second time. Draco managed to make
himself release most of the trapped air in his lungs with a sigh. Harry would
probably talk to him about that later.

�� I don�t want you with him,� Weasley said, in a
deadly tone. He looked up at Draco, and Draco had to remind himself that this
look was on a common blood traitor�s face to keep himself from recoiling.
�That�s what I meant. I wouldn�t literally kill him, but I�ll do my best to
keep you from being with him.�

�� Harry shook
his head and moved so that Draco was partially shielded from Weasley�s eyes.
When he spoke again, his voice was much deeper, and Draco shivered. He wondered
if that was what Harry�s voice would sound like if he ever decided to regard
Draco as an enemy.

�� Then
you�ll leave my house,� he said, �and if I think that you�re still a threat to
Draco when the Auror program starts up again, then I�ll tell the instructors.
I�m sure they�ll be interested to know why you can�t possibly put up with
someone you tolerated all last year.�

�� Weasley
turned pale, which was as unpleasant a sight as the red face had been. �You
wouldn�t�mate, that would ruin my chance to be an Auror.�

�� And you�re
ruining my chance to be happy with the person I love.� Harry�s voice sank
again, and he edged forwards. Draco looked down, but couldn�t see where Harry�s
wand was, lowered or raised and pointed at Weasley. �You�re trying very hard to do that. Go away, Ron. I
don�t want to look in your face right now.�

�� Weasley
stood there with one hand lifted for a minute, as if he thought that that
gesture would appeal to Harry where his words hadn�t. Draco found himself
holding his breath.

�� Then
Weasley whirled away and stamped his way to the front door. Draco winced as it
slammed shut, but nothing could have prevented the swift thrill of exaltation
that ran through him. He bit his lip, hard, to hold back a triumphant chuckle.

�� Harry
turned to Granger. �Are you going to be the same way about my relationship to
Draco?�

�� Granger
shook her head, face thoughtful and almost blank of emotion. She curled her
fingers along her jaw as if she was stroking it, but then dropped her hand. �We
actually came to talk to you for another reason entirely,� she said. �There
haven�t been any attacks by Nihil since the one on the Ministry, but there has
been something else.�

�� Do you
think he�s dead?� Harry asked. Draco could hear the relief in his voice to be
talking about something else, and pressed reassuringly down on his shoulders.
Harry leaned back against him, perhaps not even realizing what he was doing.

�� I�m going to remember that, the next time I
panic about having his love withdrawn, Draco told himself. There�s no reason that it should be, not so
easily. He told me that he was sharing his vaults with me and living with me
and loving me because he wanted to. And he�s defended me to his first friend,
the friend he once chose over me. That has to mean something.

�� No,�
Granger said. �But I think it might not matter even if he was, because of the
other thing that�s been reported.� She hesitated, and Harry nodded tensely at
her. Granger went on as if she�d been waiting for that permission. �The dead
are walking, Harry. They�ve been seen over and over again, and more than one
person has seen them at once.�

�� Harry
caught his breath; Draco could feel as well as hear it, so close was he
standing to Harry. �Are they ghosts, or Inferi?�

�� Draco could
already tell it was more than that, or Granger wouldn�t have paid much
attention. She shook her head, face grim. �Neither. They look exactly as they
did when alive, as if they�d never died or decayed at all. That includes people
buried years ago.� She hesitated,
then added, �A few of the pure-blood families have said that they recognize
some of their ancestors who have wizarding portraits among the dead.�

�� Draco
leaned around Harry. �That�s not possible,� he said. �It can�t happen. There�s
no such thing as bringing back the dead whole and entire. Either they�re
ghosts, or they�re Inferi, or they change somehow.
Even the best necromancers can only make them into shambling things.�

�� Harry
gulped loudly. Draco would have asked him why, but Granger was answering in the
same sharp tone.

�� Don�t you
think I know that? I�ve read up on necromancy since I started suspecting that
Nihil was practicing it. But the sightings are too common, and they all agree.
Not that many people can be lying or
panicking.� Granger shook her head and pushed a frizzy curl of hair back behind
her ear. �There�s no answer except the one I came up with. Nihil has raised
these people somehow. And it would make sense with the other things we know
about him. That Nusquam came back. They have the
power to transcend death, somehow. To
get past it, to transform through it.� She paused, then added, �I think that�s
where Nihil is getting his soldiers, like his fake Death Eaters, from. They�re
not living people that he�s corrupted. They�re the dead he�s raised and filled
with grief magic. After all, that would explain why they look like members of
pure-blood families, some of them, but no one�s reported a family member
missing.�

�� Draco shut
his eyes. The first, terrible vision that rose up to meet his mind was that of
an army of the dead, struggling out of their graves all over wizarding Britain, loyal
to Nihil alone. Theoretical necromancy, the kind that wizards only dreamed of
practicing or claimed had been possible in Merlin�s time, said that the dead
brought back like that would be loyal to their summoner.
Why not? He was the one who had given them a second chance to live again. They
would not see themselves as slaves, the way that summoned ghosts sometimes did
and Inferi were; they had their own wills and their
own desires. The problem was that the wills and desires were subject to the
necromancer from the beginning, but the dead would not see that because they could
not be made to feel it. The subjugation was as natural to them as air was to
the living.

�� Draco could
imagine no vision more nightmarish.

�� Thanks for
telling me that, Hermione,� Harry said in a queer voice. Draco thought it
probably sounded that way because he�d never heard Harry afraid before. �I�I
needed to know that. We needed to
know that,� he added, as if he remembered that Draco was behind him and had
already lost someone in the war with Nihil.

�� Yes.�
Granger sighed and bowed her head. �So, no, I don�t really care about your
relationship with Malfoy, as long as it doesn�t make you depressed or angry or
heartbroken for long stretches of time, because we have much bigger matters to
deal with.�

�� She lifted
her head and stared straight at Draco, and Draco wanted to back away even more
than he had wanted to before Weasley�s look. She might say those words to reassure Harry, but Draco had no doubt that she
would inflict pain on him if he should do something to hurt Harry.

�� All
right,� Harry said, with a nod and a gusty sigh. �Thanks again for coming and
telling us about this, Hermione. I�ll see you in a few days. Hopefully that
will give Ron time to calm down.�

�� Granger
nodded to them both this time, withdrawing her piercing eyes from Draco, and then
turned and walked towards the front door. Draco waited until he heard the door
shut before he dared to shake his head.

�� Nihil,� he
whispered. �The dead walking.�

�� Harry
turned towards him, head cocked and smile half-amused and half-dangerous. �Yes,
it�s terrible news,� he said. �If even part of what Hermione said is true. But
you needn�t think that you can get out of the discussion with me about what
happened before she said that.�

�� Draco
lifted his head. His confidence was coming back now, and he felt ridiculous
that he had ever questioned Harry�s love for him. �I didn�t say anything that
wasn�t warranted, especially after the way that he threatened me.�

�� But you
said what you said before he
threatened you,� Harry pointed out. His eyes were dark and direct, and Draco
found himself unable to look away. �That�s the whole point. You knew how he
would react. It�s one thing to come down when my friends are here. I don�t want
to hide this from them or make you feel like you�re not welcome in my life, when
they are. But it�s another thing to attack preemptively. You can hold your
temper. You know Ron can�t.�

�� Draco
frowned at him. �You can�t make me responsible for what he said, or for what
his sister might have told him.�

�� I know
that,� Harry said, with a depth of patience that irritated Draco, because it
sounded like he was being patient with a child. �But I can ask that you avoid irritating them when you know what will
happen. What happened isn�t literally your fault. You didn�t know that Ron
would make a threat against you, no. But you knew that he would say something angry and stupid if you said
something cruel, and you didn�t have the wit or the will to hold back from
saying it.�

�� Draco
scowled at the floor. �I have as much right to say what I like as your friends
do,� he said.

�� But they
don�t have perfect rights, because they know that I�ll get angry at them if
they do,� Harry said. �I have to treat you the same way if you say something I know is designed to get them angry.�

�� Draco
looked up at that, and he could feel the flush galloping over his skin. �I
won�t subdue who I am so that you�ll continue loving me,� he said harshly.
�Never.�

�� Harry
flinched, but then stood looking at him in a way that made Draco feel smaller
than usual. �So it�s an essential part of your life and the person you are that
you make cruel remarks to my friends?� he asked.

�� Draco
scowled.

�� If that�s
the case,� Harry said, �then I really don�t see how this can ever work out. And
I deceived myself, because I thought you were a better person than that. A
stronger one. Yes, you can cut others down, but you don�t need to do that to be confident or to make yourself larger. Or so I
thought.� He paused. �Was I wrong?�

�� Draco shook
his head. Harry was twisting it all around, using words that confused the clear
issues in Draco�s head. A moment ago, he had known exactly what he would have
said in answer to any one of Harry�s objections. But now, he didn�t know.

�� I don�t
think you�re that person,� Harry said, eyes so intense that it was nearly
painful to meet them. �I think it�s the force of habit and this feud between
the Malfoys and the Weasleys. I won�t ask you to give that up overnight, Draco.
I won�t think that you�re hopeless if you say things that Ron takes the wrong way,
or if you lose your temper with him sometimes. But if you antagonize him every time, then it seems like you want
to drive him and his family away from me. I don�t want to lose them, either.�
His voice shook a bit on the last words.

�� You didn�t
give him this lecture,� Draco said.
�And you don�t know pure-blood history, Harry, how long the argument has been
going. It�s not a mere argument. There are matters of pride and honor that��

�� No, I told
him to apologize,� Harry said, voice steadily growing louder. �Because I
thought that was the right course for him, and something he was capable of
doing. Whereas I�m telling you to think before you speak, because I think
that�s something you�re capable of. And
no, I don�t know everything. I don�t know anything.
I want you and I love you, Draco, but I want and I love my friends, too. I�m
trying to balance between them, and I don�t know how, and I knew it was going to be hard, but it�s different to know
that and to live it.� He ran his hand through his hair and turned away in
frustration.

�� Draco
narrowed his eyes. �Is that the reason that you didn�t order me to apologize to
Weasley? Because you didn�t think I was capable of it?�

�� Harry
glanced back at him and nodded in distraction. �Because of that pride and honor
and whatever else. Yes, there are lots of things I don�t know about this. But
I�m still trying to be fair. I want to be that.�

�� Draco
looked at Harry in silence for some time, his emotions colliding and changing
so fast that he couldn�t have said what he was feeling. Pride that Harry
trusted him to keep his temper, irritation that Harry didn�t think he could
stand apologizing, annoyance that Weasley and Granger had to come along and
taint the morning after they slept together for the first time, savage displeasure
that Harry had to row with him, and a
nagging conviction that he couldn�t articulate that neither he nor Harry were
being quite fair.

�� Finally he
stepped forwards, let his hand rest on Harry�s shoulder, and said, �I will try
to keep my temper in the future.�

�� Harry
looked at him, eyes full of hunger and warmth, and then leaned in to embrace
him. �That�s all I ask,� he said into his ear. �I know you don�t really regret
the words you said to Ron and Ginny and Mrs. Weasley.�

�� Draco shook
his head and hugged Harry back. And he had something else to think about,
somewhere down in the private part of his mind that he didn�t share with Harry
or his mother or his father.

�� What does matter to me? What�s most
important? I thought that the fight with the Weasleys was important, but I
didn�t even think about that for months last year when we trained together in
the Auror program. I thought it was the Malfoy name, but when my father wanted me
to choose between that and Harry, I chose Harry.

�� Maybe I don�t really know who I am. Maybe I
don�t really know what I want.

�� Other than Harry. And I think�I�m not
certain, but I think�that he�s someone I can try to discover those things with.

*

�� Harry
hesitated, glancing over his shoulder. But Kreacher had just told him that
Draco was securely asleep in Harry�s bed, and had promised to let Harry know if
he woke up.

�� Harry undid
the protections on the doors of the cupboard where he kept the black candles
he�d bought in Knockturn Alley, and then sat there,
looking in at the candles, the book, the salt he�d bought, and the model he�d
made on parchment of various circles that he�d have to draw with the salt.

�� Is necromancy that evil? What if I become
like Nihil because I�m returning the dead to life?

�� But three
powerful images hit him between the eyes when he thought that. One was of
Sirius tumbling through the veil. The second was of Remus�s
and Tonks�s bodies laid out in the Great Hall. The
third was of Fred falling with the grin still frozen on his face.

�� All of them
had been cut down either while they were still young or after lives that were
filled with horrible things: false imprisonment, prejudice, months of living in
poverty or on the run, constant battle when they were free. It made Harry mad
to think of it. What had Remus done, that he deserved
an early death? What had Sirius done, other than be a little reckless, a little
callous?

�� They told
him he had saved the world. But he hadn�t even noticed Remus
and Tonks dying in time to save them, and he�d stood
by uselessly while Fred fell.

�� What good is it, if I save the whole world
and not the people who make it up?

�� In the end,
he shut the doors of the cupboard, with nothing resolved, and then went to bed,
where Draco gripped him as if he didn�t approve of the pillow Harry had
substituted in his place. Harry lay there with his eyes open and tried to
think.

�� Draco wouldn�t like me using necromancy.

�� But he doesn�t like me being friends with
Ron, either.

�� Harry fell
asleep after long hours of alternating between hesitation and intense guilt
that he was lying here, alive, with his lover, and other people weren�t.

*

�� Paigeey07:
Thanks!

�� MewMew2:
Thankfully, Harry�s are better.

�� polka dot: Well,
he didn�t know that Ron and Hermione were coming over to yell at him about
that, and locking Draco in would have been a sign that he didn�t trust him.

�� anciie: Thanks. I hope this chapter lived up to your
expectations, despite not including many Draco insults.

�� SP777: Oh,
Harry was angry about it, no doubt, but he was also angry that Draco, who knows
what Ron is like, put him in the position to have to defend Draco.

�� Thrnbrooke: Harry won�t let it be, unless Ron is determined
to make it so.

�� Sarah:
Thank you! Harry did gasp when he saw Draco, but he can manage to control
himself�when it�s really necessary.

�� Dragons
Breath: Thank you!

�� orpiment99:
Thanks, but Harry is trying to keep it on a reasonable level for right now.
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Ceremonies of Strife