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Not My Momma\'s Fairytales	By : MissiYoung Category: Harry Potter Crossovers > Slash - Male/Male Views: 22094 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 6
Disclaimer: I do not own the 'Harry Potter' or 'Twilight Saga' characters/locations/etc. and make no profit from them; financial or otherwise.

Chapter List
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Thoughts in Italics

Chapter Five: Sunday Supper

Harry looked up from his serious contemplation of his coffee cup when someone knocked on his door Sunday morning. His eyes weren�t quite open because this was only his third cup of coffee and since it took at least five for his synapses to start firing properly he couldn�t quite figure out who was at his door; it didn�t occur to him yet that he�d need to get up and answer it in order to find out. Several swallows and another knock later brought this knowledge to light and Harry got up from the table. Stumbling across various building materials as he walked the short corridor, Harry wondered how they�d gotten there as he opened the door. There stood a teenage boy part of his mind identified as a Vampire and a teenage girl he was pretty sure he was supposed to know.

�Hello.�

His accent was thicker than usual in his state of mobile sleepiness, and the girl seemed to find it funny if her little giggle was anything to go by.

�Hi, Harry. I�m sorry I woke you up.�

Bella, his mind supplied. Charlie�s daughter. Harry moved back in the wrong direction, knocking into the wall and giving it a confused look; he�d forgotten that the door was currently hung backwards.

�Coffee.�

Bella seemed to find that funny again but kindly pushed the door the rest of the way open and came in at the obvious invitation, motioning the boy to follow; he did, visibly hesitant, and shut the door. Bella led the way to the kitchen where she followed Harry�s grunts and mumbles to the coffee cups in the cabinet directly above the coffee maker itself. She noticed that several flavors of powdered creamer, a frighteningly large jar of sugar, a rather smaller jar marked Splenda, several boxes and tins of tea (both bags and leaves), and a large can of coffee took up the rest of the small cupboard. She fixed herself a cup and, at his small signal, one for Edward as well (she fixed it to her own tastes since she'd likely be the one drinking it). Since the pot was empty at that point she started a new one, taking note of the reusable mesh filter and level of grounds as she did so. Bella absently wondered where Harry had gotten the reusable filter because she hadn�t found one in Forks.

Bella sat at the pretty wooden table with a smile and started up a stream of bright chatter, not taking any offense to the fact that Harry wasn�t participating much. She honestly did feel bad for coming over before he was fully awake but she was on a mission; besides, Charlie was up with the birds and it hadn�t occurred to her that Harry wouldn�t be the same. It took several more cups of the strong coffee before Harry seemed to realize that they were even there, and half of one more before he started responding to her chatter. By the time the new pot of coffee was gone Harry seemed to be his normally happy self (with a considerably lighter accent) and was offering breakfast, which Bella accepted graciously.

�Any objections to an English Breakfast?�

Bella agreed, having been unaware that was more than a kind of a tea, and watched in fascination while Harry cooked. When her plate was served she nearly moaned at how good it was. She actually felt bad for Edward, who had begged off citing a Sunday breakfast ritual with the family; this food was amazing. When the meal was over Bella decided to get down to business, so to speak.

�Dad had a good catch yesterday, so I thought I�d have a fish fry for dinner tonight. I wondered if you�d like to join us. Dad�s out on the res today doing whatever it is they do when they�re not fishing, but the Cullen�s are coming and I thought you might like to get to know some more people around town. I�m going to fry the fish, Esme�s making some sort of onions she swears taste really good with it, Alice is going to help make homemade french fries or something, stuff like that. The food you brought for the game on Friday was really good, so I thought you could come too and everyone would help.�

She had started out the same strong, brightly chattering teenager she�d been all throughout breakfast. She ended nearly stuttering from her nerves, babbling what she considered to be nonsense. Being a kind soul, Harry cut her off gently.

�It sounds like fun, poppet. What say you call�Esme and Alice, did you say? We could all meet here, coordinate a menu, and run by the grocers together. It�ll be fun.�
**
Bella�s confidence returned and she nearly squealed her agreement, reaching for Edward�s phone without a thought. The Vampire turned it over in amusement, listening to his girlfriend babble excitedly to Alice. She procured an agreement from the excitable Vampire women and got off the phone after confirming that they�d be at Harry�s place soon. He accepted the small silver cell phone as she bounced in her chair.

�Rosalie�s coming, too. What should we make?�

This, Edward knew, was a large part of their visit today. Apparently the food Harry had brought to Bella�s house had been authentically prepared finger foods from around the world. Charlie had raved about it the evening before and Bella really wanted to learn some of the foreign techniques and spices used. A slightly larger part, Edward was sure, had to do with Bella�s matchmaking plans. Apparently she didn�t understand why Charlie had spent Saturday with Billy instead of Harry and was determined to correct this. Alice and Esme thought it was cute. Rosalie had looked intrigued through her sneer. The Cullen men thought the women should stay out of it but were smart enough not to say so.
**
Harry was not surprised when the women who showed up were Vampires. There wasn�t enough room to sit at the table (it only sat four) so he and Edward stood against the counters while the women sat around a sheet of paper and seriously plotted their plan of attack on the gastrointestinal systems of their friends and loved ones. Side dishes were discussed and discarded, breading verses battering was the topic of several side conversations (often leading to the discarding or reinstating of a side dish), and the idea of a theme (i.e. Louisiana/French/British themes to the entire menu) was a recurring subject. After about an hour the conversations seemed to hit a snag as the women reached a four way disagreement so Harry stepped in, gently bringing them back on track.

�What about a Japanese style tempura fry?�

The women all turned to look at him, clearly questioning his sanity; this was Forks, there was no way he�d find Japanese ingredients in the only grocery store in this small town. Harry clearly understood their thoughts and plowed on.

�Tempura is a type of batter, although I�ve heard it used to describe the frying process as well. It�s relatively simple to make and the grocers here carry everything we�d need for it. The really good thing about tempura is that it�s a really light batter that doesn�t hold much if any of the oil, so it�s not greasy. I mostly eat tempura vegetables because they�re ridiculously delicious. They don�t carry most of the base sauces I use to make the dipping sauces but I�ve got plenty of that sort of thing already. We can decorate like one of the minor festivals, or maybe use a tea house theme.�
**
Edward noticed that even Rosalie was looking at the man as though he were Albert Einstein now.

�We still have those paper lanterns from Jasper�s last birthday.�

Rosalie had turned to Esme with shining eyes and Edward knew she liked this new guy. Alice�s approval was clear with her words.

�And the tea tables should be in storage.�

Edward remembered the Oriental phase Esme had gone through, where all of the tables except their �sacred� dining room table had been no more than a foot and a half off the ground. Then Esme spoke and Edward knew that the Cullen men would be pulling this man under their web of protection on his own merits and not just for Bella�s sake (and Charlie�s by default).

�I�ll call your father and tell him what we want done. I�ll also have him pull out that tea set we picked up on our honeymoon in Okinawa.�

The girls started chattering excitedly while Edward stood in shock; that tea set was by far Esme�s most prized possession. No one was allowed to touch it. The fact that she was planning to use it spoke volumes to the Vampire.
**
Harry somehow found himself in a car with the only other male; the women had climbed into a red convertible and taken off after the menu was ready, leaving the men to catch up. Since Edward�s Volvo was three doors down, Harry offered to drive. He waited until the Vampire was in the car and buckled up before speaking; he hadn�t even started the car yet. He felt that this conversation was too important to wait.

�Does Bella know that you�re a Vampire?�

The �boy� went unnaturally still for nearly two minutes before opening his mouth; Harry cut in before he could respond.

�Please do not lie to me or insult my intelligence. Aro and Caius have been after me to join them since I was fifteen years old and the War started in earnest. I really like Charlie and would hate to have to kill your entire Coven because something happened to his daughter. So I will ask you again. Does Bella know that you�re a Vampire?�

Harry was staring at his garage door, not looking at the �boy� in his passenger seat who remained completely still. Finally the boy spoke.

�Yes, she knows. She figured it out with a few clues from the Quileutes. I know that your name is Harlequinn, but what might I know you as?�

The Vampire was clearly trying to ascertain the level of threat that one �human� could hold, so Harry answered honestly using the name Aro and Caius always called him.

�The Chosen One.�

The Vampire�s eyes went very large and his mouth dropped open while he turned to face Harry fully; clearly he had heard of the Warrior Harry had once been.

�As I said, I would hate to have to kill your entire Coven because something happened to Charlie�s daughter.�

The �boy� verbally tripped over himself with promises that nothing would happen to the girl so long as he existed to prevent it. Harry finally turned to look at him, letting some of the features he generally kept hidden show through.

�Good to know.�
**
Edward was not ashamed to say that he was currently scared shitless. He was sitting in a car, driving through town, with the only being on Earth that the Volturi feared. The Chosen One was well known as the last true Faerae. Sure there were other sorts of Fae, and the Fairies, of course, but the Faerae were the Warriors. They were the destroyers of worlds. It was a well documented fact that an Atlantian leader had offended a Faerae the day the civilization was destroyed.

Atlantis was not lost, it was obliterated.

And now this Faerae was threatening the entire family if anything happened to the clumsiest girl in history. Edward would not only be passing on the information, he was planning to hire body guards. And perhaps an army.

�Relax, kid. I�m not going to kill you just for the sake of killing you. I don�t care that you�re a Vampire, I just don�t want to see my Potential�s daughter be harmed. And before it ever comes up I am also not going to kill anyone for disagreeing with me or giving me attitude. I�m willing to bet the blonde has one hell of an attitude and since you�ve been a teenager for�well, I�m not sure how long really but I�m willing to bet it�s a very long time.�

Edward chuckled and relaxed marginally.

�Yes, it has. We�ve had the �teenage rebellion� attitudes for a century or more.�

Harry nodded.

�Marcus told me about a group of vegetarians he was jealous of before he died. He said there were five of them the last time he saw them.�

Edward froze again, but tried to relax quickly. No one knew how Marcus died, the Volturi hadn�t released that information, but the fact that the Faerae was mentioning it�

�That was probably us. There are seven of us now.�

�He said that the bonds between you were incredible. So I�ve been dieing to know, does Carlisle really look like he does in the portraits?�

Edward chuckled again and was able to relax a bit more.

�Yes, though I�m surprised that they kept any. They aren�t very happy with Carlisle.�

Harry chuckled in response, turning left into the grocery store parking lot.

�No, they are not. However you failed to take into account Aro�s ego; he�s unwilling to do away with anything that makes him look like a deity.�

Edward burst into laughter at the matter of fact tone, seeing his family stare at him through the windshield as though he�d lost his mind. Harry pulled into a parking space beside Esme�s BMW and shut off the car.

�Come on, Sparkles, let�s go play nice with the locals.�

Edward laughed again, not missing the sharp look Rosalie shot toward the car. The Vampire knew he had a lot of explaining to do, but the Faerae was really funny! Before Harry opened the door Edward reached out to stop him.

�Bella�s really understanding. Maybe you should tell her what species you are and what it all means. I think she�d really appreciate knowing what�s going on if Charlie turns out to be your Chosen.�

Harry nodded thoughtfully, giving Edward�s advice serious consideration.

�If you think its best, then I will. You know everyone involved better than I do. Thank you for your help; I appreciate your willingness to help me.�

Edward chuckled, keeping his tone teasing.

�Like I�m going to risk offending The Chosen One.�

Harry laughed outright.

�Good plan, Sparkles. Great way to warn the family, by the way.�

Edward would have blushed if he could.

�Thanks.�
**
Charlie came home, expecting to hear his daughter moving around or smell dinner cooking. What he found was a note taped to the beer telling him that they�d been invited to the Cullen�s for a fish fry; the post script said that Harry was going to be there, and Bella had laid out Charlie�s outfit on his bed. The man laughed at his daughter�s matchmaking but went upstairs to shower and change anyway. The note didn�t say to bring anything but Charlie had a bottle of wine he�d been keeping for a special occasion; it was white, which he was pretty sure went good with fish, so Charlie dusted it off and took it with him out to the cruiser.

Following the little map Bella had drawn, Charlie pulled up to the Cullen home and stared for a moment in awe; this was the largest, most beautiful home he�d ever seen! Charlie�s level of respect for Edward (never very high in the first place because the boy was dating his daughter) went up considerably; if the boy could come into Charlie�s little house and seem perfectly comfortable then there was clearly more to the boy than Charlie had first thought. As Charlie climbed out of the cruiser Alice came dancing out of the house to greet him. She pulled him into the house excitedly, which was decorated with a definite Oriental theme. Thankfully no one was dressed to match or Charlie would have felt out of place.

�Chief Swan, it�s an honor to finally have you in our home.�

Dr. Cullen, whom Charlie had met once and seen in passing only a few times, looked just as young as ever; he was also just as warm and welcoming, greeting Charlie with a genuine smile and friendly hand shake.

�Thank you, Dr. Cullen. It�s a pleasure to be here. Thank you for inviting me. And please, call me Charlie.�

The Doctor laughed and invited Charlie to call him Carlisle. Carlisle introduced him to the boys in the living room; Jasper gave a quiet greeting and shook his hand rather formally, while Emmett�s greeting contained several jokes and Charlie had a feeling this kid would be a lot of fun to have around. Edward�s greeting was the most personal, and Charlie�s greeting and answering smile was noticeably warmer than it ever had been before. From there Carlisle took Charlie to the dining room and introduced him to Esme, who was setting the short table (which had been moved in there while the others were shopping) with square plates and bamboo chopsticks that were decorated with pretty hand painted flowers Charlie didn�t recognize. The woman greeted him warmly, welcoming him to their home and inviting him to treat it as his own; when Charlie gave her the bottle of wine (remembering his mother�s lessons on hostess gifts) her smile grew warmer and she shooed her husband off to find wine glasses and a corkscrew from the wine cellar so the wine could breathe just a bit before dinner.
**
Rosalie was carefully blending sauces according to Harry�s instructions while Harry and Bella were sharing frying duty at the stove when Esme walked in with Charlie. Rosalie greeted him warmly, which was unusual for those who knew her; she even gave him a short hug and a kiss on the cheek while welcoming him to their home. Alice wandered in about then and drew Charlie onto a stool at the kitchen island, offering him a soda until the meal was ready. Esme went back to the table and everyone else eventually filtered into the kitchen; soon it was full of the sort of careless cheer one generally found at family gatherings. Charlie was surprised how easily this family made him feel welcome, almost as though he was a cousin who didn�t visit often but was always welcome; his own family had rarely made him feel this included.

And through the easy conversations he had with various family members Charlie watched Harry; Harry moved about the kitchen gracefully, never taking his eyes off the fish he had frying in a large wok on the gas stove. Harry easily kept up with several conversations; fashion with Alice and Rosalie, sports with Emmett and Charlie, history with Edward and Jasper, art and botany with Carlisle and Esme. Charlie was impressed with the way that Harry would express his opinion without being offensive, and with the way the younger man freely admitted not knowing something then listening to the explanations before forming an opinion on that subject. And during all of this Harry also kept up a running conversation with Bella about the techniques they were using to make that night�s meal.

Charlie was impressed, and he was rather hoping to get some time alone with the man that evening. At the same time, he was glad to see how easily Harry interacted with the Cullen�s, considering how wide a berth the majority of the town gave them; for that reason Charlie wanted to stay until it was time for bed, just so that the Cullen�s had company for that much longer.

When they moved into the dining room, everyone carrying a bowl or platter or pot, there was friendly arguing over seating and whether or not Emmett was allowed to serve himself before everyone else was full. It was normal family interaction and for a moment Charlie let himself feel how truly blessed he was to be included; he didn�t notice the odd look Jasper gave him for it, or the considering look he got from Edward. After the moment passed Charlie threw himself into the evening, knowing somehow that he was going to have a great time.
**
When the Cullen family was alone that night, after everything was cleaned up and the dining room table was put back into its proper place, the family met around it. They�d already been told of Harry�s being a Faerae and had spent the majority of the afternoon discussing that amongst themselves; when Harry told Bella during the meal prep, Carlisle explained what he knew with Harry filling in the blanks. Watching Harry interact with various family members it was almost impossible to believe that he was the right hands of Death and War; he was just so darn friendly! Edward told everyone that several times Charlie had entertained the idea of getting Harry to leave early and spend some time together, but the overwhelming desire for the Cullen family to make friends prevailed.

That a mortal put their well being ahead of his own desires was nearly unheard of, and caused the Vampires to feel a great deal of respect for him.

Jasper told them of a moment during the evening that the emotions coming from Charlie had been�simply amazing. He�d felt an almost religious sense of something Jasper could only describe as completion, as though he were finally reconnecting with estranged family. Edward knew exactly when Jasper was referring to and explained the sense of inclusion he�d been thinking of, and how Charlie had felt blessed because of it. That caused a great deal of introspective thought amongst the Vampires until Rosalie surprised them all.

�Clearly we are meant to be his family. And we�re going to be the best damn family he�s ever had.�

Author's Note: I am alive!! Seriously, the problem is not that I have writer's block; the problem is that my inspirations are not for any of my published fics! *sigh* I keep getting bunnies for the STRANGEST crossovers, and they won't allow me to work on anything else until I've written them out at least part way. Like HP/Narnia. Or Twilight/Charmed/Buffy/HP. Seriously. My muse clearly needs therapy lol. Alrighty, this chapter is sponsored by: poverty, coffee, cigarettes, beating my muse over the head with a pipe bomb until he starts to make sense, and being hungry
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Not My Momma\'s Fairytales