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Paradoxa	By : HogwartsHeadache Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Draco Views: 6717 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, any characters or any Harry Potter affliates. I make no money from this fanfiction and everything belongs to J.K Rowling

Chapter List
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He couldn't even turn his head to look at his marauder. Draco Malfoy was like a helpless, stranded animal; aching from his lunchtime endeavours. His body throbbed tenderly but it was no longer the sweet delight which he found pain to be ten minutes ago. It was now a callous, bitter ghost of what once had been; of what could never be. He listened to Harry's uneven breathing .It was not the long deep breaths people usually make when they're asleep. Draco knew Harry wasn't asleep, merely pretending...

'But what do you say to someone who's entirely changed your world in one lunch break?' Draco thought to himself in confusion.

Harry was thinking about what Ron and Hermione were doing. "Maybe they're in the Great Hall? I hope those stupid Slytherins aren't starting anything. They don't want them, they want me." He thought. He was imagining fiercely and furiously the scrutiny his friends would be getting because of him. Now that his urges had been eased he had to deal with the world outside of the room.

"But maybe they wouldn't be giving Ron and Hermione hell?" He reasoned. "Their leader is Malfoy anyway and he isn't there." Harry continued to reason with himself, conveniently ignoring the fact that Malfoy was in bed with him. To Harry, Malfoy wasn't a person. He was designed so Harry could make use of him. It wasn't really anything personal so he tried to forget that he had just had sex with his worst enemy. As much as he tried to forget it, he couldn't deny that he wanted more. Malfoy was his new Butterbeer. One sip and he was hooked, never having tasted anything so good.

"You want it, don't you? You want it Draco?" Harry drawled. Draco's pallor tinged slightly as he remembered what happened merely moments ago. He thought having his stick sucked by the boy he loved was the best he would ever have, but he was wrong. That half hour was otherworldly. Normal life wasn't normal, everything was grey now. And then he realised something.

"He said my name," Draco thought with pride. Harry Potter had never said his first name in all the time he had known him. He was always 'Malfoy'... Before long, Draco's pride soured.

"He was punishing me. He was punishing me and he said my name" A weight dropped in his stomach when he understood that just because Harry said his name, it didn't mean he loved him any more than the followers he toyed with the most. Harry was a different person when he was in control and Draco knew that if he said his name in that intoxicated state, he might as well be talking about plans for the Gryffindor Quidditch team. Draco was frustrated beyond belief. So he got Harry's body? That wasn't enough; Draco needed Harry Potter, all of him.

Harry set about putting his school robes back on. He had a free period after lunch but that wouldn't stop Ron wondering where he was. Attempting to retrace his steps he found his shirt flung over the windowsill and his boxers hooked onto the candle chandelier dangling in the middle of the Room. He and Malfoy had not said a word to each other and Harry wanted to keep it that way.

"Malfoy is no different than any other boy I've had up here," Harry tried to lie to himself firmly. The fact is, he was overlooking the obvious truth that was staring his fulfilled body in the face. He was happy and relaxed whenever he came to the Room with Malfoy. This was completely different than it was with the other boys, who he brought up to pass the time.

Draco fingered the DA coin as he watched Harry from the bed, too sore to move any further than to trace the grooves of the fake Galleon.

"Say, Potter, how did you get the coin to show the time you want it to?" Draco asked abrasively. He was genuinely curious and felt the coin was an in to Harry's life. But he had to make sure he sounded the same as he usually did.

Harry, taken aback by Malfoy's sudden willingness to have a conversation which did not involve trying to mess up his day, answered with caution: "Hermione put a Protean Charm on it. She's really clever, it's N.E.W.T. level."

Harry waited for Draco to insult her. He knew that word was coming, he just didn't know when.

"Wow," Draco said in awe. "I mean, wow, I don't think there's a single person in Slytherin who could do that."

He didn't think it a good time to mention that that was because as much as he loved his house, the Muggle-born girl seemed to have a sense of logic that was difficult to see in a Pure-blood wizard. Muggle-borns gave the impression that they were more in touch with reality, so Draco felt sure this was where her superior intellect came from.

After what felt like an age long silence, Harry finally said what he was thinking.

"Well aren't you going to say it?" He expected the words to come from Malfoy, like they did almost every time they saw him. "Aren't you going to call her a...you know?"

"Oh right, that Granger girl is a stupid filthy Mudblood!" Draco hurried to rectify his mistake. He couldn't believe he could be so stupid! And he let Harry shoot the torrent of filthy looks and words which usually came from him whenever he mentioned that word.

"You never ever lose it, Draco," he said to himself. To Harry, Draco was a complete idiot and the entire order that Hogwarts was built on said that it had to stay that way. Draco remembered what Harry had said right after they had their first experience together.

"When we're out of this room, everything goes back to the way it was before Malfoy, you'll go back to making my life hell and I'll go back to brushing it off."

"So as long as they were in the Room, was it alright for Draco to say what he liked?" He asked himself in his head.

Harry was baffled. "What's wrong with Malfoy? Usually he's the first to call her that word, but... it's as if he had to think about it...? I thought this was engraved into the brains of Slytherins?"

Draco had decided. He was going to tell Harry, just something he thought, not the way he felt about him, but he wanted to test Harry.

"Listen Potter, "Draco said, the DA coin warm from his body heat, "I think that Dumbledore's Army thing you did is really remarkable." He was nervous; he had no idea how Harry was going to react.

After an even longer silence, in which Harry stared at Malfoy as if he was deranged, he finally answered.

"Thanks," Harry said simply and gently. This felt strange. Malfoy was being nice to him and he had no idea why. But he felt the same surge of gratification as when anybody else congratulated him on his work with the DA last year.

"I mean, I always wanted to join," Draco carried on apprehensively. "But you know, I'm a Slytherin. Everyone would think I'm... spying."He said the last word resentfully as if it was the last thing on the planet he could think of doing. "But I wanted that feeling of togetherness, you know? Like there's a whole group who have your back if you're in trouble. My father... He was always about being faithful to your own kind and who cares about the rest..." Draco was in his own world, venting about the truest, realest ideas he had ever had. As if Harry would care. In all honestly Draco completely forgot that he was in the Room. He was getting dressed quickly but gingerly now, talking as he never had before.

"Yeah well, it was definitely there," Harry answered, uncertainly. It was as if Malfoy was a different person and Harry didn't understand. Like everything he had known prior to this moment was a lie. Yet, it felt warming to know that he had an impact.

"Anyway Potter. I have to go. See you around." Malfoy had regained the cold manner he had with Harry. The voice you're supposed to use with your arch-enemy.

Harry stared at Malfoy as he left the Room, completely mystified by what just happened. But Malfoy's compliment left a glowing talisman in his chest. He seemed to need Malfoy's approval just as much as one of his best friends'.

"Maybe Malfoy was Confunded...Yeah, that makes sense. He couldn't just flip like that of his own accord." Harry pulled on his socks while trying to riddle it out.

"Men!" He said to himself exasperatedly.

*

The boys continued to live out their lust in the Room. Malfoy answered to Harry's every beck and call. Harry never got another sensitive outburst like the one he had got from him the first time they had it off. Draco seemed to keep the talking to the minimum, other than when he climaxed and when Harry compelled him to – as if he were too scared to. It was strange to Harry, and confusing, but he never let himself think about Malfoy for too long. Outside of the Room, Malfoy was nothing. At least, that was what he was trying to say to himself, but he was watching the Slytherin going about his daily activities. Eating serenely under the green banner of his house, or laughing with Crabbe and Goyle, probably torturing some defenceless Muggle-born (although Harry wasn't so sure any more), Harry wondered if there was more to Malfoy than just the typical idiotic somebody he seemed to be portraying. He did not understand but every fibre of his being was trying to force himself to believe that Malfoy wasn't anything but a piece of meat.

Harry watched Malfoy on a sundrenched Saturday. None of the sixth years could be pulled back into their Common Rooms by the unpleasant imminence of their homework – well, except for Hermione, of course. As they walked past each other, Harry on the way to Ron and Hermione and Malfoy on the way to the other Slytherins, Harry looked straight into Malfoy's stone grey eyes properly for the first time. Malfoy looked scared, as if Harry wasn't supposed to be there. As if his look was puncturing his cool exterior. Harry had his place and he was intruding on Malfoy, venturing into unknown areas - but extraordinarily alluring ones. But just for a second, before Harry could even breath in response to Malfoy's surprising reaction, Malfoy's face was back to the way it had always been. Eyes narrowed in shrewd suspicion, Malfoy bumped against Harry's shoulder as soon as he got near him. But Malfoy was too late, Harry had seen truth.

Draco lay on the grassy bank of the Great Lake, surrounded by his Slytherin friends but utterly lonely. Being near the water usually calmed him and washed away any harrowing thoughts he may have- be that schoolwork, or his mother's wellbeing or even the isolation he felt from the rest of the world. But Harry was still there, carved into every feeling, every which way Draco's mind could take, Harry was still there. Draco was ruled by him, his entire life now defined by the fake Galleon in his pocket. Everything he ever did now was just filling time until Harry wanted him again. It was carnal and wild rather than the tenderness Draco felt for Harry, but it was better than nothing. Draco needed him and was completely absent in terms of scruples. He stared at the coin, flipping it over between his fingers, trying to imagine the warmth radiating from it, because he knew that he would have a chance to please Harry. But it didn't come.

"What's that, Draco?" Pansy Parkinson asked him, staring questioningly at the Galleon.

"Oh, just some money. We have a Hogsmeade visit coming up and Mother wanted me to buy some new quills," he replied with a hint of coolness towards the annoying girl.

He was not even surprised at how easily and quickly the lies rolled off his tongue when it came to hiding his overwhelming necessity.
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