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All The Things I Wanted To Hear	By : Epithode Category: Harry Potter AU/AR > Slash - Male/Male Views: 6300 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: JK Rowling is a goddess. Do I look like a goddess to you? Then I don't own Harry Potter, now do I? I don't make money off of this either, which should be clear but apparently isn't. Do not own, do not make money of any sort. Got it? Good.

Chapter List
- 4
- 5
Tom's eyes flickered open to greet intrusive sunlight through the unshaded window overlooking the muggle world. He closed his eyes tight, unsure why he felt so desperate to stay asleep and comfortable, but knowing all the same that he wanted it. A slight laugh brought him out of his daze and Tom remembered.
Sex. He and Harry had had sex. His eyes snapped open of their own will, and there was a beautiful black haired boy, green eyes smiling and very awake. Tom blinked twice and breathed deep, steadying his voice before he even spoke. “Good morning.” He said simply, but confidently, as if nothing had happened.
They were entwined in warm, soft skin and sheets. Harry's leg was between his and he could feel the morning erection his lover had pressing comfortably against his waist.
“Morning.” Harry replied with a wide smile.
“And just why are you laughing?” Tom asked.
“You. Waking up. You seemed desperate to stay asleep for a while there.”
“I was, until you giggled.” Tom said, slightly cross. “I was extremely comfortable.”
“Ohhhh...you're not comfortable anymore?” Harry asked mischievously.
“I am.” Tom said shortly. He found it hard to admit even to himself that he had phrased what he had said incorrectly. He paused just long enough to cut Harry off as he began to speak. “I would be more comfortable kissing you.” He said arrogantly, as if he deserved it.
Harry's mouth, paused mid-word, closed. “Well, the problem with that, see is...you'd have to get me to kiss you.” He teased.
“Or...” Tom didn't finish, but twisted his body and fought a laughing Harry down on the bed until he was flush against him. How was it so comfortable? Wasn't waking up with a new lover awkward, strange?
He kissed Harry hard and pationetly until he had also obtained a slight erection, but Harry was harder still for having woken up with it. Or perhaps having looked at Tom's sleeping figure until he had one? Riddle, so used to pushing this kind of thought from his mind, invited it just this once. This relationship....this lovemaking...this....alright, fine, it's a relationship, would be the death of him.
Harry was staring into Tom's eyes deeply now, and Tom found he didn't mind so much, though it seemed for a moment that Harry was searching his soul for something. “Breakfast.” Harry said quietly.
“Really?” Tom asked, raising an eyebrow in disbelief. “You want breakfast? Right now?”
“Yes. Sex...second only to food.”
“Oh, very nice.”
“Hey, admit it. I've got to prioritize. I can have you anytime I want, right? But food...that's a first come first serve sort of thing.”
“I can never tell if you're joking.”
“Can I have you anytime?”
“What if I just say 'no?'”
“Then.....” Harry paused. “Answer the question, Tom.”
“No.” Tom said sarcastically. “I like to have planned sexual sessions.” He rolled his eyes for emphasis on his sarcasm and Harry couldn't help but grin again.
“Then I guess we'll have to write a schedule. This certainly isn't planned.”
“Fine, breakfast.” Tom said, giving up. But Harry grabbed his shoulders to hold him still.
“You just know that throwing a fit always works, don't you?”
“I am not throwing a fit!” Tom said, slightly defensively and with more feeling than Harry had yet heard. He gave Tom a look of surprise.
“You know what works better?” Harry whispered after a short pause.
“Yes.” Tom said bluntly.
“Really?” Harry said, surprised again.
“Of course,” Tom said, smiling sweetly at his lover “naturally, seducing you.” Harry's lips twitched up as Tom layed a delicate kiss on them. “You are, after all, already quite hard.” Tom added.
“I can't really argue with that, can I?” Harry asked, and Tom ignored him in favor of nibbling on his neck a bit. “Tom?” Harry went on, though he closed his eyes to the feeling. He received a grunt in response, so he went on “Maybe it's not so important to you right now, but I feel like we should talk about this. I don't want to see someone who only wants me for... well.”
Tom sighed into the crook of Harry's neck. “Really now?” He asked, popping up to give Harry a look half skeptical and half annoyed. “Is it because-” his throat struck. Stuck! His! Throat! He regained the ability to speak and tried to say “you love me?” in the most casual of tones. He didn't quite get it right. Harry laughed a little, but turned serious- no, sad.
“Is it so hard for you to say that, Tom?” He asked.
“Well, I...” Tom sat up, and the sexy moment from before was quite gone.
“You don't love me.” Harry said, and it definitely was not a question.
“But I... care for you.” Tom replied gently, but with urgency. “I do! I've never... cared for anyone. Not really.” He layed over next to Harry and stared at the ceiling.
“I know.” Harry replied simply.
“Yes, I know you know. That's what makes you so infuriating.”
“Well, at least you're finally being honest with me.”
“Hmph. Finally.” Tom scoffed.
“Don't worry, Tom, I don't think anyone else can see through you like I can.” Harry practically cackling.
“Hmmm... Dumbledore.” Tom points out, and he feels Harry nod next to him.
“Yeah, I don't know how he's doing that. You're not the easiest person to read.”
“At first, I honestly though you were as dumb as you look.” Tom complained.
“I look dumb?”
“It's your expression.”
“Wow.”

There was silence for a few minutes and Tom heard Harry's stomach growl. “You're upset.”
“That you said I look dumb? Well, a little.”
“That I'm not in love with you!” Tom snapped. A beat, and then, “I'm sorry. That came out... wrong.”
Harry turned toward Tom with a smile. “I love you even if you don't love me, Tom. And for a while, that's enough. But for forever? How badly do you want this?”
“I found my father.”
Harry tried to feign surprise, because honestly the words are meant to be a little shocking. But of course he knows all of this. This is the designated summer. If he want to change the past- and he pushes the voices of Hermione and about a thousand other people away- and save Tom, he has to stop him from killing his father, therefore subverting his ability to make a horocrux. He has the information, but putting his plan into action is increasingly difficult. Especially because now he knows Tom doesn't love him, regardless of everything that's happened. But no, he's come leaps and bounds. Harry tells himself.
He took a deep breath and decided on the less subtle of courses. “You're going to kill him, aren't you?” he says, looking directly into Tom's eyes. Tom doesn't even blink.
“And how could you tell?”
“Because I know what it looks like when someone needs to make a life-altering choice, Tom.”
“Nonsense! How would killing my father-”
“How can you say that?” Harry sits bolt upright, still looking at Tom, turning all the way around to face him. “Don't you know what killing does to the soul, to the mind, Tom?”
“You sound like Dumbledore.”
“I sound like anyone with a heart, Tom!” Harry practically screams. “So, this is the time, Tom Riddle. This is the choice, and I want you to know every detail of what you are choosing. If you choose to go after him, you loose me. Tom, I won't love someone who can never love!”
“My feelings for you won't be altered by what I'm planning to do, Harry.” Tom protested quietly, and dangerously.
Harry jumped from the bed and puts on his robes angrily. He should have gone for subtly, but it's too late now. He turned around to face Tom, and he knew he was wearing his heartbreak on his sleeve. “Mine will.” He said simply, arms spreading a little and then falling discouraged by his body again.
Tom's lips tightened and he controlled his breath “I haven't done anything.” he replied in a measured tone.
“I know, and you told me for a reason, Tom. I think you honestly, really, want me to stop you. Some part of you. But I don't know how, Tom. All I can do is tell you where I stand.” Harry marked that as the first, full-on lie he told Tom. He could stop him, of course. But he doesn't even want to think about the consequences to the future. Someone changing and someone dieing because of him are two different things, and he might well cause an opposite affect if he goes too far, and make things even worse.
“You look torn yourself.” Tom pointed out.
Harry nodded “Well, I've always been one to show my emotions, unlike you.” he says “and I'm torn about what I should do now.”
“I can tell you that if you do want to stop me,” Tom said, staring at the ceiling again, unable to admit his weakness for Harry, “the last thing you should do is cancel this little outing.”
“I know. That's why you came you here.”
“You were waiting for this?”
“I wasn't sure if you would tell me, to be honest.” Harry's stomach growled again and he sighed as Tom laughed.
“Well, we should go on as if nothing happened, then, shouldn't we?” He said. “And get you some food.”
“For now.” Harry replied. “We can go on.” He can feel his hopeful heart sinking, but he swears to keep him own promise to himself. He has to see this summer through. All the way to end. Every minute, every day, with Tom.
Tom looked disappointed with this arrangement, or rather the fact it is obviously temporary. Nevertheless he got dressed and headed downstairs with Harry, where Tom the bartender offered them a discount on breakfast that Harry gratefully accepted. They sat together in silence for a few minutes, the air tense. Before long, Tom sighed and put his fork down, stared aimlessly out the window, and wondered to himself how to repair his quickly fracturing relationship with Harry, while still getting what he wanted. Harry tapped him on the hand with his fork and Tom glared at the area of contact. He couldn't keep a scowl on his face while facing the other teen, though, so he didn't even try.
“I'm not angry.” Harry said quietly. Tom's eyebrows raised.
“We're both doing a great job pretending we are, then, aren't we?”

“I guess so, Tom.” Harry replied. “But you can help by not taking my concern as a cage.”
He wanted to tell Harry that it was a cage, but instead, inexplicably, he found himself saying “I'd rather have the cage even if it is one.” Tom marked this as probably the first full truth he's told Harry.
- 4
- 5
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All The Things I Wanted To Hear