Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

Survivor's Guilt	By : SpeedyTomato Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Lucius Views: 34080 -:- Recommendations : 3 -:- Currently Reading : 4
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter nor do I make any money of this dark dance of Harry Potter fanfic.

Chapter List
- 4
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Chapter 5

Beta'd by the amazing Tenchi. Thanks, Tenchi, you're the best!

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Walking into the pub, Lucius looked around then immediately spied Potter. With an approving nod, he walked over to the booth where the young man was sitting then slide in across from him. Dudley wasn't there yet but it was still before the time he normally showed for the night so that wasn't an issue. After waving to the barkeep for his normal drink, he settled back then looked at the young man, nodding, before saying, “Harry. I hope you are well tonight.”

With a grunt to acknowledge him, Harry just looked at him almost warily and sipped at his glass of beer, saying nothing.

As this was normal, Lucius didn't take it wrong, settling in and getting comfortable. It had been a month since that first time he had made himself known to Potter and things had changed slightly. At first, he had wondered if Harry and Dudley wouldn't just find another place to go to drink when they met up. If that had been the case, he would have just given up, not bothering to try to find them despite the niggling that there was something wrong. They hadn't, though, showing up just as they always had.

For the first couple days he had made sure to wear a different glamour when he came in so as not to spook Potter. As he had said, the day after walking him home he had, indeed, told Dudley about their interactions since he had joined the Wizarding World. Dudley had been stunned by what he heard but, much to his surprise, had been conciliatory about it. The younger man had pointed out to his cousin that an apology was probably meant to be just that, especially after being in prison for so long. As Harry had given him a second chance maybe he should think of it that way when it came to Lucius. Of course, the blond was stunned by that. Potter, as anyone would expect, had argued the point, ensuring that Dudley had known all he did in the past, making sure to lay out, in detail, what had happened and why he went to prison. In the end, though, it had appeared to come out slightly in his favor and the topic had been dropped, with the two moving on to other things. Rather than step in again, he had just sat and observed, listening so that he could figure out his next step in this. Why he even wanted to engage again he didn't know but that almost need was there and he planned to follow it. It came down to a matter of how to go about it, something that he thought might come down to the cousin.

As, by then, he knew both their schedules when it came to them turning up at the pub, he knew it was the day that Harry worked later, thus Dudley getting there first unlike normal days. Again, it was a case of he didn't know why he was doing it but two days after the first encounter with Potter face to face, he slid over into the booth and introduced himself. After the talk with Potter the day before, the cousin was, understandably, wary of him but he hadn't told him to get lost either. Instead, he asked questions that Lucius found very uncomfortable to answer but did so truthfully, knowing that he would ask Harry as well at some point to ensure he got the truth out of him. He also explained things in a way that Harry would never know, leaving out nothing, including things that would not put him in the best light. Along with all that, he made known what his position was in the Wizarding World at this point, including that he was on parole and that any violation or resuming what he used to do would result in a return trip to Azkaban. He also made it clear that he had no want for information to use against Harry. It would do him no good because of his position in things. Adding on to that, one word in the wrong place from Mr. Potter, something that he was well aware Harry would do at this point, and he would be back in prison. No, that wasn't his intent with this. As one would expect from any astute being, Dudley had then asked why he was doing that. That's where Lucius fumbled with things.

Settling back in the booth, he looked at the younger man then honestly admitted that he didn't know why the impulse was there or what was driving it, just that there was something about Harry bothering him. At that admission, he also told Dudley that he didn't know what it was that was doing that nor could he figure it out but that it was there, haunting him in some way, pulling him back to observe then to step in. With a shake of his head, he told the younger man that he didn't have a clue what that was. Dudley, after several minutes of quiet thought, seemed to accept that and nodded. From his skills at observation, it was apparent that the younger man wanted to say something that related but, in the end, kept his mouth shut about it, pressing on to the topic of making amends.

It was that topic that Harry had walked in on. Lucius had stiffened up when he saw Potter enter, not sure what reaction the young man would have to him talking to his cousin. Harry had looked between the two of them then slid in beside Dudley and poured himself a glass of beer without saying anything. It wasn't until he had swallowed about half of it that he finally said something. Then it was that he wanted Lucius to leave but not before making some cracks about how he used to torture Muggles.

With a sigh, knowing that was bound to come up with Dudley around, Lucius had admitted that he did. That was unlike him, he knew that, but something told him that, in this situation, the truth would go a long ways unlike in most instances or with some others. He had learned by this point, since giving up everything he knew about the Dark Lord and those that followed him that there was no sense in hiding things anymore. Some of the beliefs he had held his whole life were still there but others had changed, such as about Muggles and Muggle-borns.

It had, in the end, worked. Just not with Harry. It was Dudley that had accepted him and agreed to allow him to stay. Later, during one of Potter's trips to the bathroom, the cousin told him it was, of course, a probationary thing dependent on his behavior. One whiff of something off or an agenda and he would have Harry report him. Lucius wasn't fussed about that, having expected something similar, and had just nodded, accepting it. Hell, he could understand it and knew the threat about Potter reporting him hadn't been one that was a bluff. With how Potter appeared to be, he would do such a thing if Lucius had put one toe out of line.

After that, Lucius had invited himself to join the two young men each night for a couple drinks. Though Harry didn't trust him, you could see that in his eyes when he looked at him, Dudley had struck up a casual friendship with him and they talked about all kinds of things, though avoiding some of the more painful topics. That Lucius would admit to liking. It was a refreshing change from the isolation that he now found himself in when it came to the Wizarding World.

Potter, though, hadn't warmed up to him at all, viewing him with a great deal of distrust then generally ignoring him when he was around. Again, that was something that he expected. Nor would the young man talk about sensitive things with him around. If a topic was brought up that he didn't want Lucius to hear he would just tell Dudley to either drop it or they would talk about it over the phone later.

So far, that was, generally, the way most things went anymore. Though strained, Lucius liked it. It also gave him a chance to observe the boy more closely when it came to things. What he saw disturbed him more than he cared to admit but couldn't put his finger on just why he found it to be so unsettling.

After getting his drink, Lucius settled back and tried to make small talk with the younger man seated across from him but was getting nowhere with it as Potter was just grunting in response. Most of that, he supposed, was due to his presence being not welcomed. Another part, though, appeared to be that Harry was deep in thought. Something, from the look on his face, seemed to be pulling him away somewhere and he was focused more on that than anything that was going on around him. Even his ever present glass of beer seemed to be neglected due to these musings. From what he had seen of Potter since starting to observe him, that was strange. The siren song of his booze was something ever present and he didn't let anything distract him from imbibing his fill.

Leaning back, sipping at his drink, Lucius asked, tone as concerned as he felt, “Harry, is something troubling you?”

Shaking his head, Harry just continued to stare at the telly, saying, tone distracted, “Just thinking. Nothing to worry about. Nor do I wish to discuss it with you, Malfoy.”

With a barely perceptible sigh, Lucius nodded, saying nothing.

With a tense, strained silence screaming between them, they waited for the third party to show. Not for the first time since inviting himself to the table, Lucius wondered if he should just go about his business and let the two talk about whatever it was.

Not long after that, Dudley showed up, bustling in and shoving into the booth by Harry, talking about his day and things that went on. Lucius was grateful for the other man as it lessened the feel of awkwardness that seemed to be hanging over the table. Greeting Dudley warmly, the two began to chat but Harry seemed lost in his own world. Dudley even went out of his way to try to pull Harry into the conversation but it didn't work. Instead, Potter just mumbled things and continued to stare at the telly, just nursing his beer, a faraway look in his eyes while he did.

Obviously troubled by this, brow creased in worry slightly, Dudley focused more on his cousin, talking about some show on the telly they both liked, Dr. Who or something like that, trying to get him involved in some plot twist that had happened. As he had heard the two of them talking about this before, knowing they both liked the show, Lucius assumed that Potter would snap to and come around but didn't. He just continued to mumble answers, lost in his own world of thought. As that continued, Dudley actually appeared to be concerned.

Watching the young man he had so made a study of as of late, Lucius, too, was concerned. Something was off somewhere but he didn't know what. That niggling was tingling harder than ever before, causing his heart to beat faster in something akin to the first stirrings of a panic. In fact, it was bad enough that he was about to excuse himself then leave so the two younger men could talk alone. He didn't get the chance though.

Seeming to snap out of it, Harry downed the last of his drink then said, more to Dudley than Lucius, “Sorry, mate, tonight's not a good night. I have something that I have to do at home, alright? I'll catch you tomorrow.” Then he nudged his cousin to get up.

Sputtering slightly, Dudley slid out of the booth and stood, stammering something about taking him home.

Slipping his jacket on, Harry shook his head then said, “I'm fine. Talk to you later, yeah?”

“Yeah, Harry. I'll give you a call later tonight, mate,” Dudley got out, brow furrowed, not sure what to do.

After a nod Lucius' direction, Harry was gone.

Sitting back down, looking at the door, a concerned look on his face, Dudley sipped at his beer then asked, tone distracted, “Anything go on before I got here, Lucius?”

Shaking his head, glancing at the door Potter vanished out of, Lucius told him, tone slightly worried, “No, nothing. What you saw is how he was since I sat down.”

“I was afraid of that,” Dudley sighed. “Look, no offense, mate, but I’m going to head home and see if I can't get him on the phone. Maybe he'll talk to me that way.”

Since that was what Lucius, himself, was about to suggest, he nodded. “I understand completely. Something is off with him. There are things I need to accomplish at home anyway. So, until tomorrow, Dudley, have a good evening.” Standing, Lucius retrieved his cane where it was lying on the bench and made his way out of the pub after seeing the younger man nod at him.

Sitting in his study at home after leaving the pub, Lucius had his chin resting on his fists and was staring at the paperwork that was scattered about in front of him but not really seeing it. Though these were things that were imperative that he do as they related to the Malfoy family fortune, something that wasn't nearly as grand as it had been before the war and the Ministry had taken a large chunk of it for reparations to those harmed, he couldn't focus on it. Instead, his mind was on Potter and that niggling that was tingling harder than ever.

No matter what he did, he couldn't seem to shake that there was a problem there and focus on things he had to do. It was also telling him that whatever was causing it was deadly serious and it had stepped up a notch. Since he didn't know what it was or how it might relate, he was powerless to do anything about it. That bothered him more than he cared to admit.

He was drawn out of a replay of everything that had taken place that day by a firm knock on the door. Knowing that was Draco coming to discuss some things that Lucius wanted to cover with his son, the elder Malfoy straightened up and tried to look busy, summoning him to enter. Settling back in his chair, he nodded to his only child and waited for him to take a seat.

After seating himself, crossing his legs and smoothing down his robes, Draco relaxed then looked at Lucius, asking, “You wanted to see me, father?”

Nodding, Lucius told him, “First, there are some papers to sign for various things. The normal stuff, as I'm sure you know. Then I want to discuss with you the concept we talked about of both families living together.”

As these were anticipated topics, something he had expected, Draco nodded then moved over to look at the papers that needed his signature. Most of what was there had to do with his share of the Malfoy estate and investments from that. There were also things dealing with the part of the Black estate that his mother had left him. Though he was capable of handling all of it himself, he was content to let his father do so since his release from prison. Not only did his father have a better instinct about what was a good investment and what wasn't but it gave the elder Malfoy something to do with himself since most avenues he had in the past for keeping himself busy were closed to him. Draco had a wife and child to keep occupied with so this wasn't something he cared about giving up in an effort to keep his father from going barmy out of boredom.

After frowning over the parchment that showed his disbursement from the Black estate having been released by Harry Potter that month, Draco signed it with an angry slash of his quill. That part still stung. He knew that Potter was the head of the house of Black now that Sirius was dead and exonerated of any crime, but it stung to have his hated rival still have to sign off on the funding that came every month from his mother's estate when it dealt with the house of Black. “Father, how much longer does Potter have to keep signing off on this? I reached my majority and had full control of the estate when I was 25.”

“Until you are off parole, Draco,” Lucius sighed. “Just be thankful that he isn't vindictive about it. It would be well within his purview to withhold it from you if he wanted to. At least until your full 'debt to society' is paid off. That clause is very clear in things.”

Though he knew that, it still stung more than he cared to admit. Scowling, he signed the last of the papers after reading them then tossed the quill on the desk, muttering, “He might not be spiteful about it but the Ministry sure made certain they were when they put that provision in place.”

“It's only another five years, Draco. You'll manage,” Lucius told him then leaned back. Not wanting to go down that alley, knowing it still stung for both of them over the fall, he switched topics, “Now, about this concept of all of us living in the manor together...”

Straightening up, Draco smoothed down his goatee then said, “I don't see the problem, father. The family has done that for centuries and there is plenty of room to ensure that we don't get under each other's skin.”

“This I know, son,” Lucius nodded. “However, it's always best to allow the family with the children to have a place of their own to grow in. I think that is what should be done here as well.” Seeing his son about to argue, Lucius held up a hand to stave it off then told him, “To that end, I think it's best to allow you and Astoria to have the manor to yourselves and I'll be moving into the townhouse in London. After all, the manor will be yours eventually. It's best for you to grow accustomed to running the thing by yourself and make it your own just as all of us have done when it came our time to take over.”

Looking at his father, Draco frowned. It wasn't that he didn't like the idea of having the old family home to himself and taking charge, because he did. Hell, he had been worried that his father would ask them to take one of the other houses. Now, though, he was more worried about his father and what he would do. Their London townhouse was very large, no doubt there, but it wasn't the same thing nor did it have the distractions that Malfoy Manor did. “Father... I'm not sure this is a wise idea. I would feel better if you were around all the time. I mean, we keep an eye on each other...” Trailing off, Draco left it there and looked at Lucius in a pointed way, hoping he got what he had been going for without actually having to say anything.

With a sigh, Lucius nodded, understanding what his son was saying. Rubbing a weary hand over his face, he then gave a dismissive wave of his hand. “There is nothing to concern yourself with, Draco. I have a feeling I will actually do better in the London townhouse than here. If you're concerned, I'll just be an Apparition away and you can check up on me whenever you feel like it. Same with visiting. I just feel it's better that you have the place to yourself with your family and not having to worry about me being under foot, so to speak.”

“You are never under foot, father. There is plenty of room around here for all of us. I do understand though,” Draco told him with a soft sigh. Actually, with how Lucius worded it, he probably understood it better than he initially had. With Narcissa gone, Lucius was bombarded with reminders of her memory thus making the hurt still sting. Especially since he wasn't around when she finally decided to end her life. Now, every day he had to look at reminders of the wife he loved dearly and was having issues moving on from it. A change of scenery would probably do him good. He already knew that Lucius was having the townhouse redecorated completely. At first, it was assumed that he and Astoria would be moving there. Now he realized it was to make things the way he father wanted and get rid of the most obvious reminders of his wife. He could, honestly, understand that.

Settling back in his chair, Draco nodded. “You are firm on this, father?” That question, really, was more rhetorical than anything else, but it was expected of him to ask it.

“I am, Draco,” Lucius told him stoically. “I will, however, expect you to begin hosting family dinners on Sunday so I can attend. As well as picking up the normal traditions. It's best you start doing those things now to get used to them.”

A small smile crossing his face, Draco nodded. “Of course, father. I'll ensure that I do.” With those statements, Lucius was letting him know that he would, indeed, be around and not just walking off, leaving Draco to himself. His father, apparently, just needed to be away from the manor was all. Leaning back, interlacing his fingers behind his head, Draco asked, “The tradition of redecorating some things will also hold true? Or isn't there the funds for such things?” Like his father, Draco was finding that there were many painful memories associated with his mother all over the place. Some, of course, would stay in place as they added to things, others wouldn't. He felt it was best to have Astoria start doing that as it was part of being Lady Malfoy.

Leaning forward, Lucius fished around on the desk for the parchment with the budget for such a thing that he had drawn up then handed it to his son. “Though it isn't as large as it has been, there is plenty there for you and Astoria to work with. You'll just have to be a bit more mindful about how much you spend. I couldn't, of course, not allow this, so I ensured you had plenty to work with.”

Taking it, Draco scanned through the figures with a smile. Oh yes, his father had ensured that there was plenty of money to work with. They weren't going to be that put out when it came to getting what they wanted. Nodding, he told Lucius, “I'll get with Astoria and have her start on things. There are, of course, a few suggestions of my own I want implemented.” Stopping, he looked back at his father then asked, “What are you planning to do in London all on your own? The townhouse is in a Muggle neighborhood. I can't see you mingling with that kind of being.”

“Right now, I can't mingle in the Wizarding one either, son. I feel it'll be better for me to be among Muggles than our kind. There are plenty of distractions in the Muggle world that are attractive. The theater comes to mind with that among a few others. It's best that I stay away from our kind lest there end up being an issue that could send me back to Azkaban.” Lucius told him with a barely perceptible sigh.

More than he ever thought he would understand, Draco got that. Lucius' parole was far more strict than his thus not allowing him much freedom about things. He supposed that his father would prefer to be anywhere but Britain right now, but even traveling to one of their homes in another country was something that involved a lot of paperwork and tracking spells. Living among the Muggles where he was less apt to encounter the bigoted reactions of so many could be for the best. At least it would reduce the chances of getting into a situation that might lead to his parole being revoked. He could appreciate that. “I understand, father. The theater, after all, even if it is Muggle oriented, is a great way to entertain one's self. There are other attractions in the Muggle world that work. Besides, there are plenty of things to do even in the Wizarding areas of London that would be far better than having to stay cooped up here like you have been.”

Smiling, Lucius nodded, “Exactly, son.” After that, he settled back and they talked about what was going to be moved as well as the time frame for when he would be leaving the manor. After that, he went over all that would come with running the massive home. He wasn't going to throw Draco to the proverbial wolves and make him do it himself but it was best for him to learn what was needed quickly so that Lucius could back away from the duties and Draco take full charge.

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Survivor's Guilt