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The Joke Book Trap	By : TalisRuadair Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Draco/Hermione Views: 10791 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: The Harry Potter Series (1997-2007) and any characters and original locations within the books belong to JK Rowling. I am not making any money from this fiction. Pride and Prejudice belongs to Jane Austen.

Chapter List
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Chapter Five – Analyzing Draco

Theo laughed at the changes already occurring within the literary work. He kept reading as it changed because time passed quicker within the book reality. He read Draco’s reaction to his note and started reading the visit of Mrs. Bennet and the two youngest sisters. He didn’t want to just skip ahead because the changes were made to the book as they happened, so reading ahead would do him no good. Though Draco seemed to follow the script, his thoughts weren’t censured and they were quite amusing. In the end, Theo was unable to determine if it was Draco’s or Hermione’s thoughts that were more entertaining. Hermione was familiar with the story; however she came from a completely different world. Draco was familiar with the society; however he didn’t have the book memorized word for word as Granger did. He smiled and set the book down for a moment, grabbed some parchment, and a quill. He couldn’t help but wonder what the surviving Weasley Twin would say when he found out Hermione was trapped in the book with Draco and they were each portraying one of the romantic leads. A mischievous smile lit his features as he composed the note. The twin would be to blame for the two of them getting together, which from the chemistry he was reading within the pages, was likely to happen.

Hermione sat at the breakfast table in the parlor along with Molly, Parvarti, and Lavender. Bill met them there and inquired on the health of Fleur. Hermione could see his affection for Jane better within the world than from reading the written words within the written pages. Molly smiled at his concern, “Indeed I have, sir. She is a great deal too ill to be moved. Mr. Jones says we must not think of moving her. We must trespass a little longer on your kindness.”*

Bills eyes widened in shock as he exclaimed, “Removed! It must not be thought of. My sister, I am sure, will not hear of her removal.”* Hermione couldn’t help but smile at his deflection, knowing quite well that it was he that wouldn’t dare have her removed. His sister was just the excuse he used.

“You may depend upon it, Madam, that Miss Bennet will receive every possible attention while she remains with us,”* Ginny assured.

Molly agreed wholeheartedly before continuing, “I am sure if it was not for such good friends I do not know what would become of her, for she is very ill indeed, and suffers a vast deal, though with the greatest patience in the world, which is always the way with her, for she has, without exception, the sweetest temper I have ever met with. I often tell my other girls they are nothing to her. You have a sweet room here, Mr. Bingley, and a charming prospect over the gravel walk. I do not know a place in the country that is equal to Netherfield. You will not think of quitting it in a hurry, I hope, though you have but a short lease.”*

Bill smiled at her and announced, “Whatever I do is done in a hurry and therefore if I should resolve to quit Netherfield, I should probably be off in five minutes. At present, however, I consider myself as quite fixed here.”*

Hermione smiled and played her part. She couldn’t help but see the foreshadowing in his words as he would surely soon be dragged away from Fleur by his sisters and Darcy. However, she began her banter, “That is exactly what I should have supposed of you.”*

He turned his blue eyes upon her and they reminded her so much of Ron, but she still was unsure of her feelings for him, “You begin to comprehend me, do you?”*

Her eyes widened, “Oh! Yes—I understand you perfectly.”*

“I wish I might take this for a compliment; but to be so easily seen though I am afraid is pitiful.”*

She continued to stare at the eldest Weasley brother, “That is as it happens. It does not follow that a deep, intricate character is more or less estimable than such a one as yours.”*

“Lizzy, remember where you are, and do not run on in the wild manner that you are suffered to do at home,”* Molly admonished.

Bill seemed to ignore Molly and continued with the banter, “I did not know before that you were a studier of character. It must be an amusing study.”*

Hermione mentally smiled. She almost wanted to say that there is a whole new science devoted to the study of human behavior; however she knew that Psychology had yet to be developed. It was the early 19^th century and not the later part of the century when the delving into the human psyche first began. She nodded, “Yes, but intricate characters are the most amusing. They have at least that advantage.”*

Draco smirked and had a sparkle in his gray eyes, “The country can in general supply but a few subjects for such a study. In a country neighbourhood you move in a very confined and unvarying society.”*

“But people themselves alter so much, that there is something new to be observed in them for ever.”* Hermione studied him as she spoke. She stared into those gray eyes wondering if her suspicions from the day before were correct.

Molly jumped in offended, “Yes, indeed. I assure you there is quite as much of that going on in the country as in town.”* Everyone at the table was surprised except for Hermione because she knew what to expect. Draco turned away from her and Molly continued, “I cannot see that London has any great advantage over the country, for my part, except the shops and public places. The country is a vast deal pleasanter, is it not, Mr. Bingley?”*

Bill took the bait, “When I am in the country I never wish to leave it; and when I am in town it is pretty much the same. They have each their advantages, and I can be equally happy in either.”*

Molly gave one of her loving smiles to Bill, “Aye—that is because you have the right disposition. But that gentleman,” she looked pointedly at Draco, “seemed to think the country was nothing at all.”*

Draco made eye contact with Hermione for a moment causing her to blush, “Indeed, Mamma, you are mistaken. You quite mistook Mr. Darcy. He only meant that there was not such a variety of people to be met with in the country as in the town, which you must acknowledge to be true.”*

Molly patted the bookworm’s shoulder, “Certainly, my dear, nobody said there were; but as to not meeting with many people in this neighbourhood, I believe there are few neighbourhoods larger. I know we dine with four-and-twenty families.”*

Hermione noticed how Ginny looked at Draco and could only fathom what exactly what she was thinking, however as to not allow for more discomfort for the others she asked if her friend Charlotte Lucas had visited while she was away.

Molly went into her long speech about how she’d arrived the day before but also went into how she found Mr. Lucas much more agreeable than men who think themselves too important to open their mouths. Ah, yes Hermione blocked out the rant, in which, Mrs. Bennet continues to attack Darcy’s character while he was sitting before her at the table. She popped in with her proper response whenever there was a pause, “Did Charlotte dine with you?”*

Molly went on about how she went home and the plainness of the Lucas daughters.**

Bill furrowed his brow, “She seems a very pleasant young woman.”*

Molly responded by going into Fleur’s beauty and shared the story about a man showing interest in her when she was only fifteen.** Again, Hermione blocked out the story as she found herself drawn into Draco’s gray eyes. There was something behind them that gave way to knowledge beyond the written words of the story. However, he didn’t defer from the script of the book like he had the day before. It was possible that George made some slight changes to the Darcy character to keep her wondering about the person chosen by her mind to play him. Would George be that cruel to her? Why would he want her to believe that her Mr. Darcy was the slimy git?

She heard Molly speak of the poetry the man wrote to Jane and again spoke her proper piece, “And so ended his affection. There has been many a one, I fancy, overcome in the same way. I wonder who first discovered the efficacy of poetry in driving away love!”*

“I have been used to consider poetry as the food of love.”* The patented Malfoy smirk crossed his face.

“Of a fine, stout, healthy love it may. Everything nourishes what is strong already. But if it be only a slight, thin sort of inclination, I am convinced that one good sonnet will starve it away.”* Hermione kept her eyes on Draco because something told her he’d give something away to confirm her suspicions.

Draco just smiled at her remaining quiet, which was expected of the character. With the silence, Hermione stayed in character and ignored her mother’s continued thanks to Mr. Bingley. Finally the time came for Molly, Parvarti, and Lavender to leave. Lavender looked right at Bill while getting into the carriage, “Mr. Bingley, I do believe you promised us a ball at Netherfield.”**

“I am perfectly ready, I assure you, to keep my engagement; and when your sister is recovered, you shall, if you please, name the very day of the ball. But you would not wish to be dancing when she is ill.”*

Lavender shook her head and tried to appear as serious as possible, “Oh! Yes—it would be much better to wait till Jane was well, and by that time most likely Captain Cater would be at Meryton again. And when you have given your ball, I shall insist on their giving one also. I shall tell Colonel Forester it will be quite a shame if he does not.”*

The days continued to pass with Hermione attending to Fleur during the day and joining their party at night. She was seriously considering giving Fleur a Pepper-up Potion and deal with the consequences, as she didn’t think she could handle being under the same roof as Astoria and an awful characterization of Ginny. Her Gryffindor friend was nothing like the character who stole her appearance. She couldn’t help but wonder if that one was selected for her by George to slight his baby sister. That night however, things progressed the way they should and she arrived downstairs to Draco writing a letter and Ginny hovering around him admiring his handwriting.

Hermione took up the needlepoint and watched what was transpiring between Ginny and Draco. She continued to watch and see if he’d give himself away. She could tell that the constant complimenting and flirting on Ginny’s part was frustrating him. Her constantly suggesting he add something to the letter to his sister. However, Draco seemed to be ignoring her as much as Darcy did in the book. She couldn’t help but muse if somehow Draco had read the book. Her mind flashed as she wondered if Summoning spells were allowed. She knew she’d have to try it later. She might just have to summon her journal, so she could take notes about the inaccuracies between Austen’s Darcy and the one appearing in the Weasley version of the story.

Ginny voice was overly excited, “How delighted Miss Darcy will be to receive such a letter!” When Draco didn’t take the bait she continued, “You write uncommonly fast.”***

Hermione could almost swear she saw Draco’s eyes narrow, “You are mistaken. I write rather slowly.”***

“How many letters you must have occasion to write in the course of a year! Letters of business, too! How odious I should think them!”***

Draco rolled his eyes and Hermione stifled a laugh, “It is fortunate, then, that they fall to my lot instead of yours.”***

“Pray tell you sister that I long to see her.”***

Draco clenched his jaw, “I have already told her so once, by your desire.”***

Ginny pouted, “I am afraid you do not like your pen. Let me mend it for you. I mend pens remarkably well.”***

Draco looked back down at the letter and muttered, “Thank you—but I always mend my own.”***

“How can you contrive to write so even?”***

Draco just continued writing and remained silent. The grip on his pen tightened.

“Tell your sister I am delighted to hear of her improvement on the harp; and pray let her know that I am quite in raptures with her beautiful little design for a table, and I think it infinitely superior to Miss Grantley’s.”***

Draco looked up with angry fire flickering in the back of his gray eyes, “Will you give me leave to defer your raptures till I write again? At present I have not room to do them justice.”***

Ginny covered her mouth before moving to her collar bone, “Oh! It is of no consequence. I shall see her in January. But do you always write such charming long letters to her, Mr. Darcy?”***

He closed his eyes and rubbed them with the thumb and forefinger of his left hand, “They are generally long; but whether always charming it is not for me to determine.”***

Ginny didn’t seem to be properly reading his body language as she continued with her complimenting, “It is a rule with me, that a person who can write a long letter with ease, cannot write ill.”***

Hermione was delighted when Bill finally stepped in. She couldn’t fathom watching Draco suffer under the ministrations of Ginny’s doppelganger for much longer. The redhead’s voice was full of humor, “That will not do for a compliment to Darcy, Caroline, because he does not write with ease. He studies too much for words of four syllables. Do not you, Darcy?”***

“My style of writing is very different from yours.”*** Draco admitted. The conversation continued to flow as it was scripted in her favorite novel. Though Hermione loved reading the banter, logical observations, and intellectual discourse, she could tell that Draco was growing more flustered under the pressure to say everything just right. She took note of the obvious fluster, which didn’t seem to fit with her image of the character. She told herself she’d add that to her journal list once she retrieved her book.

Hermione retired to the guest room she was staying in near the sickly Jane’s. She shut her door, took out her wand, and spoke clearly, “Accio Hermione’s Journal.” The simple black leather bound book appeared in her hands a few moments later. She opened her last entry and was shocked when she found a folded parchment in the binding. It was a letter from George and it seemed that someone from the outside had written two him regarding her situation.

Hermione,

If you are reading this, then you have discovered the summoning ability. I knew of your journal and figured it would most likely be the one thing you would attempt to summon. I’ve been recently informed that a ferret infestation has occurred. Someone is keeping the book safe for you, but won’t tell me where. Also, if you have found this letter in your journal, it means that Kreacher has properly followed my directions. I don’t know why, but that elf will do anything for you. He is so willing to help you and you’re not even his master.

I digress, I’m not sure if you read the fine print on the back of the book before you read the first passage aloud. I doubt that you did, as you are currently trapped within the story. I figured with everything we’ve been through in the past year, it would be good for people to get away. So, Ron’s stuck gallivanting through Narnia, Harry’s running around with the Three Musketeers, and Ginny’s having the time of her life as Alice in Through the Looking Glass. I hope that you are enjoying your story and just so you know everything you do while you’re in there will be recorded for your prosperity. Oh and the automatic entry charm from reading the words aloud is disabled upon completion. You will not be able to return to that world unless you purchase another book. Fred and I came up with these books last year shortly after Bill and Fleur’s wedding, while everything was so dark. We just thought it would be nice to get away from reality every once in a while. Also, if you haven’t figured it out, the only magic warded against in the book is apparition. You may use any hex, curse, or jinx necessary when dealing with the incredible bouncing ferret. You know if he gets too out of line, but I do believe Eliza Bennet ends up wrapping Mr. Darcy around her finger by the end of the book. I do wonder if life will follow imitation or whatever that muggle saying is.

You might as well let him know the gig is up because he already knows that you’re the real you. I believe one of his friends tipped him off by including a note in a copy of the actual book. He somehow knew that Malfoy would attempt to summon it. I guess he knows Malfoy as well as I know you, so I guess I kind of got the idea from him. However, the boy didn’t have to gloat about discovering the book and not getting trapped in it because he read the fine print. Of course, I think he just saw Malfoy get sucked in and was more cautious as usual. Well take care and put Malfoy’s bollocks in a vice grip for me, will ya?

Love,

George

Hermione couldn’t help but laugh. She knew from that moment that she was going to make things harder for Draco. Perhaps she should wait until they finally dance together after she has the privilege of meeting her future brother in law Wickham. She still didn’t know whose face would appear when that vial man entered the picture, and she couldn’t help but wonder how far ahead Draco was in his reading of the story; however she still wondered exactly how he ended up in the book. Perhaps Draco had somehow arrived back with Theo after she was sucked into the book. Why would he be silly enough to pick up a book that belonged to someone else and read it aloud? Ah, reality struck her, as she knew that Draco would find familiarity in the opening passage, as she was aware that he was being chased after by many girls within the walls of Hogwarts. They were all after him to be their boyfriend so that they could become the next Lady Malfoy. The idea of it always sickened Hermione, but she found the same things occurring with her friends, Ron for being a part of the Golden Trio, and Harry because he was the Chosen One. She fell asleep in bed with the journal tucked under her pillow.

A/N: I know that things are progressing slowly, but don’t worry after the upcoming confrontation things will change. Certain things might progress, which were missing from Jane Austen’s novels and I’m not just speaking of magic. Willing to take guesses as to who Wickham will be. I already know but I wonder if anyone will guess or if I’ve given any hints.

*All dialogued marked is *quoted or paraphrased from chapter nine and ***quoted from chapter ten of Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice(1813). The scenes are also derived from those chapters. The only things original to me are Hermione's thoughts.
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The Joke Book Trap