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Let Love In	By : Kimmimaru Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Remus/Sirius Views: 3124 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any characters or settings by JK Rowling. I make no profit from this story.

Chapter List
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AN: As usual please enjoy, just a brief reminder for first time Kimmimaru readers: I don't do fluff...my idea of romance will probably be completely different to yours, so if you're expecting cutesy wootsy (Vomit worthy) fluff, then you have come to the wrong place. My slash is usually bordering the darker side of things, so again: Don't like, Don't read.

Chapter Five: Innocence

Remus sat in the dormitory trying to read a book while perched on the window sill. He was trying to ignore James's restlessness. He was going from pacing a hole into the floor, to lying upside down on his bed while muttering furiously about stupid relations. Remus only vaguely knew about the Old Families, he knew that the Potter's were amongst them, although to what extent he was unsure, and of course, just like every other student and teacher within the castle, he was well aware of the Black's. They were notorious, even Muggle-borns were warned by older students to avoid them at all costs, unless it was Sirius. They were related to just about every other family in the Wizarding world, some more distantly than others, but it served to prove a point about the sheer power of the family. They were also a political powerhouse, surrounded by ancient magical laws that served to protect them against certain criminal cases. Remus always got nervous when he thought about it, because it meant that Sirius's parents could potentially murder him in his own home and his parents would get a slap on the wrist, at worst six months in Azkaban. Even though James too was covered by these ancient, seemingly unchangeable laws, his parents actually abided by Wizarding law, happily teaching their son that certain ways of thinking were wrong and that all the other proper things a parent is supposed to teach a child, not that they deserve to have god knows what done to them all because they disagreed with something. Remus sighed heavily, closing his book with a snap and slamming it on the window sill at his side, he felt vaguely guilty for doing it but he rarely got truly angry...but now he could feel the slow and steady boil that meant potential danger for people nearby.

James looked up, Moony never slammed a book down, usually treating them with a reverence that bordered on the creepy. He gazed at his friend who sat with a blanket over his shoulders and his jaw set as he gazed across the grounds without really seeing it. James stood again, preparing to try and pace away some of his restlessness but before he could move the door opened and they looked up to see Sirius, leaning heavily against the side and clutching his ribs. He slid down it slowly, his knees shaking uncontrollably, before James could get there, Remus was on his feet first, almost running to his friend's side and catching him before he fell. Sirius's head smacked into the wall as he threw it back, his teeth clenched in agony, his hair was matted with blood from the side of his head, his whole body shook and scarlet stained the side of his face.

"Sirius?" Remus gasped, easing him to the floor as he was too heavy to hold up. "Merlin! Sirius, what happened? D-Do you need anything?"

Sirius opened his eyes, breathing heavily, each breath felt like his ribs were being crushed but he had to breathe because it hurt not to. He shook his head, unable to push words through his teeth. James was at his other side and together, he and Remus helped him onto his bed where he lay, gasping and wheezing in an awful, terrifying way that made Remus feel as if he was in pain himself. James sat on the bed, an arm wrapped around the post and a frown on his face that made Remus feel like the world was ending, because James got angry, but he never, ever got so furious he looked ready to kill someone.

"Madam Pomfrey." Remus muttered, stepping away from the bed. Sirius seemed unable to move, and he inched away, backing towards the door, feeling sick at the sight of seeing Sirius looking...vulnerable. Sirius was never vulnerable! Once out the door he ran, out the Portrait hole, ignoring the Fat Lady's shouts for him to realise curfew was in ten minutes, and he ran through the well known passages and shortcuts as if he was being chased. Finally he burst through the doors, making Poppy shriek as if she'd seen a Chimera, Remus ignored her and ran to her, tugging her desperately out the door.

"Mr...Mr. Lupin! Stop it! I have..."

"Madam Pomfrey...please, Sirius needs help!" He said, unwilling to explain until she saw.

Immediately she calmed, gently extracting herself from Remus's grip. "Yes, alright then..." She indicated that he lead the way and it took everything he had not to sprint back to the dorms.

Sirius cracked open an eye, he still felt dizzy but the agony he had been in had dulled to an insistent ache and he could deal with it. He turned his head, wincing as his body protested the movement and found himself face to face with James. They gazed at each other, James was sitting on the floor at his bedside with his head resting in his hand. His hazel eyes a dark chocolate brown in the dim light and his own fury. "Why?" He asked softly making Sirius wince.

"Doesn' matter..." He croaked, turning away.

"Why?" James asked again, his voice patient and insistent.

"Seriously...don't!" Sirius felt a flash of his own anger go through him like cold steel. "If you get involved you'll be killed...and that would be the kinder option! Just...just leave it! Please..."

"I am involved, whether you like it or not, Pads. Me just being your friend makes me involved, let alone the fact that my own mother is your mother's aunt! Seriously, did that bastard knock out all your brains when he did this to you?" James sounded barely in control of his anger, his brows were drawn into a tight little line above his burning eyes. "Fuck! Even being who I am puts me in danger! Everyone is in danger these days!" he said suddenly, jumping to his feet and gazing down at his best friend. "Danger is not my problem here! What is, is that your parents just beat the shit out of you in the fucking school!"

"It really doesn't matter..." Sirius whispered, his eyes shut tightly. He didn't want to move, it hurt too damned much. His safe haven had been invaded and that carefully constructed wall was collapsing and he didn't have the energy or the materials to build it back up again. "Nothing matters!" He choked out through his teeth.

"What's going on guys? I heard shouting..." Peter walked over and gasped when he saw Sirius lying there, and Sirius felt himself wanting to suddenly punch something, preferably the face of some Slytherin. "Was that...?" Peter stepped back, his eyes shooting to James who ran fingers through his hair and nodded. "Wow...why didn't Dumbledore do anything?"

"Because Purebloods are protected by Wizarding law, Pete." James sighed. "They can't be touched, the worst he could do is remove them from school grounds...but when he goes home..."

"I'm in a world of hurt." Sirius let out an odd sound, it sounded like he was trying to laugh and cry at the same time...except that Black's simply did not cry. He choked on his voice, doubling over and groaning, earning a worried glance from James just as the door opened and Remus came scurrying in followed by Poppy. The nurse swept over to Sirius's bed and began removing his shirt, ignoring his weak protests.

Pomfrey gazed down at the awful patchwork of bruises across the boy's chest, she gently checked the cut to his head, noticing a chunk of flesh missing from where something must have caught it. "What happened?" She asked briskly.

"His..."

"Fight! It was...a...fight." Sirius interrupted, glaring at his friends.

"A fight, was it?" Poppy said, knowing a lie when she heard it. She had been working at Hogwarts for long enough to know when someone was lying. "Now is hardly the time for lying, Mr. Black. These wounds were inflicted by someone much larger than a student. And I see no defensive wounds..."

"Look, it's fine...I'll heal. The cause...doesn't matter." Sirius said, turning away angrily.

And so, without another word, Poppy healed the wounds and left. The four boys were silent, Sirius curled on his side staring into space as he remembered his father's face twisted in insane fury and his mother's blank expression as she had done nothing but watch her son be floored by her husband. The burning, pitch black fury was pulsing through his body as he clutched desperately at his blankets, shoving his face in the pillows not sure if he wanted to suffocate himself or muffle the awful, embarrassing noises he was making as memories spewed forth from that deep well he had dug since he was old enough to control his own mind.

Remus moved, faster than was entirely necessary to sit at Sirius's side, he lay down beside him and simply stayed like that. James joined them without hesitation and Peter lay at the foot of the bed, looking nervous as James closed his eyes with a sigh. "This summer, move in with me." He said softly.

Sirius stopped shaking momentarily before they heard a soft chuckle, devoid of emotion. "They'd find me." He said in a small voice.

"You don't get a say in this, mate. I'll owl my parents tomorrow and they'll sort it all out. We've got enough room...and you can get out of that hell hole."

Finally Sirius looked up, his smile so wrong, so lopsided and dead that Remus shuddered. "There's no escape from this, James..." He whispered before letting his head fall back down. "But..." He said almost too quietly to hear. "Thanks...for...for offering."

James said nothing, no matter what, he would find a way out for Sirius, because his pain was their pain. They seemed to share emotions, when one was in pain everyone else would try and share that burden, no matter what it was. And James was determined, even if he had to kidnap him, that Sirius would not be returning to the 'Moste Noble and Ancient House of Black'.

For days afterwards Sirius was as dark and brooding as he normally was, but there was also the entrancing, pulsing, electrical fury that radiated from him, drawing Remus like a magnet until he was sat curled up at his side, and Sirius's arm would slip casually around him and they would sit in silence. Remus was more than shocked when he realised how utterly right this all felt, he would read while Sirius absently played with his hair while talking softly to Peter or James, neither of the other two seemed to think it odd at the way the two 'canine's' were treating each other.

One day, Sirius received yet another letter but this one he took seconds to read, he stood slowly his eyes shining in an odd way that sent tingles of fear up Remus's spine as he watched him shred the letter furiously, swearing in one long hissing note before throwing the whole lot into the fire and spitting furiously. "Bitch! Complete fucking...creepy...mad...bitch!" he nearly screamed and without another word turned and left the startled occupants of the common room. Everyone flinched as they heard a smash before it all went quiet again. Remus stood slowly, his eyes meeting James's who nodded once. He followed his friend, it was an easy feat when all he had to do was follow the carnage. As he passed windows he could see flashes of lightening, hear the low rumbles of thunder and he could feel the intense rush of electricity as the storm raged outside the castle, making everything seem like those creepy black and white horror films his mother liked.

Sirius stood on the very edge of the rampart, his toes jutting over the edge. The rain soaked into him, driving a bone chilling cold into his skin, yet he relished it! He felt more alive than he had done in a long time, he gazed down at the grounds wandering, not for the first time, if his parents would actually grieve if he threw himself off...and the idea was simply too sickeningly tempting. He swallowed and, even over the sounds of the storm, heard a noise behind him...the closing of a door. He knew immediately who it was and he realised he didn't mind as long as it was only him who could see. He didn't turn around, he didn't need to. He simply stood there and enjoyed the presence of his silent companion. Lightening shot towards the earth, lighting everything in a momentary glow and Sirius took a deep breath, breathing in that wonderful scent of fresh rain and scorched air. The storm raged through him, searing his eyes, his blood and leaving him shaking slightly. The rain had soaked him, his shirt clinging and slick against his body but he didn't care...he wanted, no...he needed to forget. That letter...the letter that had scared him impossibly, the letter that had twisted his heart until he thought it would burst. No, he decided, his parents would not mourn his death.

"They told her!" He shouted over the storm, ignoring the way his voice sounded, loud, crass and half mad. "Moony! They fucking told her!" He laughed, throwing his head back and letting the rain hide his tears. "She wants me dead...yes, yes! Kill the fucking little blood-traitor! The one who wants to destroy everything she stands for! Kill me! She wants to kill me, Moony! Should I let her?" He laughed again, an awful, cracked sound that was, thankfully, drowned out by the thunder.

Remus had no idea exactly what was going on, but he was afraid, he didn't like the way Sirius was swaying, the way he was standing just way too close the edge of the Astronomy tower. The sky was being tortured, reflecting Sirius's soul...that broken, shattered thing that resided within him. "Sirius...please, get down from there..." Remus said, moving forward.

Sirius turned, those silver eyes pinning him to the spot, they are bright almost too bright to look into. He was grinning, an awful, terrifying mask that pulled at his face twisting it and making him inhuman. "Well, if Bella gets her hands on me I'm a dead man walking anyway...why not just throw myself off...hey, I'll even give you my wand!" he threw it at Moony's feet and watched him go as white as a sheet. "There, now if I do fall...there'll be no saving myself." Again he laughed, Remus couldn't stand it, he felt as if he was turning into the werewolf, his heart was shredding its self to pieces only this time...it wouldn't grow back. "I'll spite the cow...I'll kill myself before she can have the pleasure of doing it herself! Not sure if it's gunna hurt but where would be the fun in knowing?" He threw his arms out to the side and closed his eyes, tipping his head back so that his hair cascaded down his back and Remus was struck, as if by the very lightening that scorched the clouds, by how absolutely stunning Sirius looked. He was gorgeous. Sopping wet, deranged and just plain beautiful.

"Sirius." Remus said slowly, snapping his friend back from the brink, forcing those silver, dagger like eyes onto him. He held that contact, not moving in case he pushed him too far. "Please..." he lifted his hand out to him, slowly, meaning only to guide him down from the edge. Sirius gazed at the hand for a long while, ignoring the rain, the thunder and everything else until he sighed and closed his eyes, once again tipping his head back.

"My mum...she told my cousin, Bellatrix that I shouted at them, that I defied them about being transferred to Durmstrang. Bella, it seems, is now determined to kill me...she's been pretty close to completing that vow over the years...she likes knives, you know? Thinks it's much more personal to kill someone with a knife." Sirius's voice was empty of emotion, and Remus despised it. He wanted that happy, laughing boy he had befriended, the one whose eyes shone with joy and not this dark, terrible insanity! "My parents don't care, s'long as they've got Regulus...dear Regulus who is the pride and joy of the Black household..." He hissed the last, his hands clenching into fists at his sides and his eyes sprang open. "Blood...why are they so insistent that I believe that mine is better than everyone else's? I learnt at the age of ten that actually it's crimson...just like everyone else! I have to say I was pretty shocked." He smiled wonkily again. "My mum went into a rage, hit me with something and I can't remember anything after that." He laughed, a soft, dead chuckle that speared Remus's already painful heart.

"Sirius...please, come down...we'll...get you warm and we can talk..."

Sirius shook his head slowly. "Already said too much, Moons." He said and suddenly jumped down from the ramparts, making Remus sigh with relief. "Seeing as you seem so desperate not to see my brains splattered on the grounds, I won't do it." He paused, still watching Remus through wet hair. Then he stepped forward, two quick strides and he had rammed Remus against the wall. "I need to forget." He hissed, before kissing him fiercely. Remus shuddered. Like the storm, Sirius's kiss was violent, his fingers rough, his nails scraping down Remus's back as he pressed himself closer. It was all Remus could do to hold onto some sense of reality as he was swamped in fiery passions that swept his mind clear of all thought until he was nothing but sensation.

The sting of teeth, sharper than they had any real right to be, bruising fingers, the scrape of nails against painfully damp skin, the cooling rain, the shear violent heat of Sirius's body pressed flush against his own...everything, everything, was unbelievably surreal and so very, very right...

Sirius sank himself into his senses, he had no room for feelings, not with a struggling, moaning, gasping, desperate werewolf pressed firmly against him. He had never been with another man in any serious sexual sense, he had fumbled around before but never done anything too serious. But now, he threw caution to the winds, he no longer cared about 'propriety' and 'social conventions' he no longer cared even about how this would affect their friendship. All that mattered was the here and now. All that mattered was relieving the insufferable ache in his groin as it ground against Remus's quivering body. He wanted nothing more than to drown in pleasure, he wanted to listen to Remus cry out his name...

Remus couldn't call what they were doing romantic, in any sense of the word. As pleasure exploded violently in the pit of his stomach when he felt Sirius's fingers slide into his trousers, he gasped, throwing his head back into the wall. The storm devoured his cries, it sapped him of his sanity and his reasonableness and he was exhilarated, his own hand clasped tightly around Sirius's wrist as it moved up and down, making his hips jerk uncontrollably. Remus didn't normally like to lose control, normally he liked to be in control of any situation, because otherwise he would feel like he was drowning, like he did when the wolf took over his mind and he was screaming, tearing his own body to shreds...and yet, now, with Sirius's eyes blazing as they gazed into his own, with Sirius's fingers closed tightly around his erection, with hormones and whatever else flooding his brain like water, he found himself enjoying it in a sick, perverse kind of way. He flung one arm around Sirius's shoulders, drawing himself closer, while his other hand scrabbled to find Sirius's fly and unzip it, which was extremely difficult under such circumstances. Finally though, he found what he was looking for and pressed his lips to the dark haired boy before him, teeth crashing against each other, lips moving as Sirius gasped and whispered incoherent obscenities into the storm. He grabbed handfuls of that wet, lovely hair and pulled, hard. Sirius gasped, nearly falling to the floor, having to release Remus to prevent total collapse.

They didn't bother trying to think, they let their teenage hormones drive them. Sirius pushed Remus around roughly, fingers shoving his trousers further down his legs as he pressed himself against the werewolf. He hissed air through his teeth when his skin came in contact with Remus's, all potential thought was driven away, and he entwined his fingers into Remus's, whispering nonsense into his hair as he pushed...

Remus almost screamed, to stop himself, he bit down hard on Sirius's hand, tasting blood and not caring. It was painful, more painful than he would have imagined...his body tensed and he whimpered softly until hot breath caressed his ear as Sirius paused, breathing heavily against his back. Then, the pain gradually subsided and he let out a soft sigh, Sirius took that as a sign to move and the pain erupted again, that burning, agonising but somehow satisfying pain. Eventually, after allowing Sirius to pick a pace, he found soft explosions of pleasure exploding like fireworks inside him and he found his body moving with his partners.

Sirius lost what little sense of control he had managed to regain, he let his body take over, his hands wanted to touch everything, he was surrounded by heat and tightness and it blew his mind. He buried his face in Remus's neck, nipping, biting and growling softly. He was reduced to little more than noises, animalistic as they were eaten by the storm. The thunder vibrated through both their forms and Sirius released Remus, pushing him to the floor and lifting his hips, he wanted to watch his face, he wanted to see his eyes turn amber and listen to his name being hissed through clenched teeth but most of all he wanted to watch Moony lose control.

Remus arched his back, his nails gouging at Sirius's chest, drawing lines of red across his much too perfect skin. He stared up at the sky, lips parted and dug his fingers into Sirius's shoulders as he deepened his thrusts, Sirius took full advantage of his exposed throat, biting at the skin, leaving trailing bruises as he whispered against flushed skin. And then, like a sudden, violent explosion, Remus felt that almost painfully tight coil in his gut twist viciously and his scream was drowned out by the clap of thunder. Sirius's fingers tensed on Remus's erection, he watched in fascination as his friend unravelled, before losing control himself and slipping into bright white light...

They lay at each other's side as the storm blew itself out and the air cleared slowly. Sirius's breathing had evened out as he lay there, shirt almost in tatters and his trousers undone but pulled up. Remus was in little better condition as they both gazed at the sky, unwilling to break the silence and even less willing to speak about what had just happened. Sirius could feel fingers around his own, it was a comforting thing, but he couldn't bring himself to look at Remus, he didn't want to see the look of incomprehension, the disappointment or the million other emotions that could potentially be on his face. But he knew he would have to do it eventually, and, like ripping off a plaster he turned his head slightly and saw Remus's face, he was smiling slightly, an odd expression still filled with confusion but also, and Sirius dared not to get his hopes up, satisfaction...

"Pads?" Remus began slowly, almost nervously.

"Hmm?" Sirius replied, his voice rough.

"We should...do you think we should...go? I mean...almost dawn...and...and stuff..."

Sirius chuckled lightly, rolling onto his side and smiling, brushing hair from Remus's eyes. "Alright." He croaked. "But first we should tidy up, can't see James being all too impressed if we turn up looking like...well..."

Remus raised his eyebrow in wry amusement. "Like we've just tried to kill each other?"

Sirius looked slightly guilty. "Yeah...sorry..."
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