Sexual Expression | By : Dazzlious Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Draco/Hermione Views: 41140 -:- Recommendations : 3 -:- Currently Reading : 5 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from J K Rowling's fantastic books or films, I'm just borrowing and playing with them for a little while and get no monetary reward for doing so. |
A/N: Thank you all once again for the nice reviews and the votes. I really do appreciate them. SarahWhitman I'm sorry that you haven't seen any attraction yet, hopefully, that will change after this chapter . . . and Fox . . . yup! Dx
‘So what do you want?’ Draco asked coldly.
‘What are you talking about, Draco?’ Chris asked, sounding confused. They were walking across the quad, where Draco had accosted Chris on his way to the cafeteria.
‘What’s your price to leave Granger alone?’ Draco looked intently at Chris.
‘What do you mean, price?’ Chris asked, sounding faintly disgusted.
‘Oh, don't pretend to be so naive, Chris,’ Draco replied. ‘Everyone’s got their price. You’re no exception. So come on, tell me, what do you want me to give you to make you dump her?’
Chris stopped walking and shook his head in amazement. ‘Nothing. You’re absolutely disgusting, Malfoy. Do you really think buying me off will get you anywhere nearer with Hermione?’
Draco gave a sharp bark of a laugh. ‘Well, it worked well enough with all the others. Most guys are only too eager to give up when they know they’re going to get exactly what they want instead of her. Anyway, you know it’s me she really wants.’
Chris looked at him with dawning understanding. ‘You’re the reason Hermione can't hang onto a boyfriend.’
Draco laughed again. ‘My poor love, all those boys dumping her for no good reason. She must be getting a real complex. It might even have been enough to make her sign up for a class if one was suggested to her. And who better to guide her and help her with her journey of sexual discovery than me?’
‘You set her up,’ Chris accused.
Draco shrugged unconcernedly. ‘What if I did? It wasn’t as if I was being malicious about it. I was just getting rid of the very unworthy competition.’ He scowled. ‘And then you came along and fucked everything up.’
Chris laughed loudly at that. ‘You’ve done a wonderful job of fucking it up on your own, Draco, no help needed from me.’
‘But she chose you to be her partner,’ Draco said, his scowl deepening. ‘That was never meant to happen. It was supposed to be with me.’
‘Yes, amazing how badly you blew it, especially considering you’re right and she really does fancy you — although of course, she would never admit that.’
Draco looked frustrated. ‘So as I said, what do you want to make you go away?’
Chris said nothing but looked at Draco, seeming to consider something.
‘And as I said — nothing,’ he answered finally. ‘Nothing could make me drop Hermione like that. But I will give you some advice.’
Draco looked at him sneeringly. ‘Advice. I don't need advice from you.’
Chris shrugged. ‘Fine. In that case, you may as well resign yourself to never being with Hermione.’ He turned away but Draco grabbed his shoulder.
‘Okay,’ Draco said. His voice had a slightly desperate quality to it. ‘Tell me.’
Chris looked at Draco, seeing the eagerness in his eyes at the idea that he might tell him something that would get him closer to his heart’s desire. He hesitated for a moment. Once he told Draco what he needed to do, his own relationship with Hermione would be as good as over. However much she tried to convince herself there was nothing between her and her old enemy, it was a lie; and once he had given Draco the tools to correct the mistakes he was making with her, Chris was sure she would be unable to resist Draco’s charms and Chris would be all but forgotten. But at least telling Draco what he needed to know ensured that Hermione would be treated properly by him at last. Draco’s attitude towards her was deplorable and had to completely change if things were to work out for the couple.
He sighed. ‘All right. First of all, you really need to stop calling her by her surname. That was fine when you hated each other at school—’ He stopped to look at Draco again and wondered, not for the first time, just how long this had been going on between the couple. ‘But you’re adults now, and if you want any chance of a relationship you need to get over whatever was going on between the two of you and call Hermione by her first name. Have you any idea how off-putting being called by your surname is, especially for a woman?’
Draco thought about this for a moment before nodding his understanding. ‘I suppose it’s always been such a habit,’ he said musingly, ‘after I stopped calling her Mudblood.’
Chris shook his head again, making a small noise of disgust. ‘I really don't understand this thing between you two at all,’ he said.
‘Neither do I,’ Draco admitted stiffly. ‘All I know is she drives me mad with desire. She always has done. But I never expected it to be this hard.’
‘It really isn't that hard,’ Chris said with a small laugh. ‘You just have to be nice to her and drop the attitude. Making out you’re doing her a favour isn't going to help your cause, either.’
Draco smirked. ‘But I would be doing her a favour.’
Chris cut his smile dead. ‘Wrong. If — and unless you can change your attitude, it’s a big if — you ever manage to get anywhere near to being intimate with Hermione, you’ll soon realise that it’s not you doing the favour. You need to stop lying to yourself and tell the truth for once. Tell her how you really feel about her.’
Draco looked at him in horror. ‘I’m not telling her how I feel,’ he said dismissively. ‘She can tell me how much she wants me.’
Chris shrugged. ‘Of course, it’s your choice. But you’re going to get nowhere with Hermione the way you’re going.’ He looked at Draco for another few seconds then asked curiously, ‘If you’re that serious about her, why don't you just ask her out?’
Draco snorted. ‘I can’t do that.’
‘Why not? What’s the matter? Worried she’ll turn you down?’ Chris asked sneeringly. ‘Or perhaps you’re lying to yourself about this relationship as much as Hermione is.’
Draco looked at him in confusion. ‘I don't understand,’ he said.
‘Hermione’s trying to pretend she’s not interested in you, and you’re trying to pretend you’re not that interested in her, that you just want her to admit her desire for you. If you really do fancy her, Draco, then ask her out.’
‘It’s not that simple,’ Draco muttered.
‘Of course it is. Just invite her to meet you for lunch or something. And cut the lecherous stuff, too. She already knows you want to get in her knickers; reminding her about it all the time isn’t flattering, it’s creepy.’
‘This is rubbish!’ Draco said heatedly.
‘Whatever. Do it your own way. But don't say I didn't warn you,’ Chris said. ‘And I’m not letting her go, not while you’ve got this shitty attitude. You’ve already made her fragile enough, hijacking her previous boyfriends like that. I won't let you hurt her just because you’re too bloody proud to admit you’re in love with her.’ He paused and looked back at Draco once more.
‘Just don't leave it too long,’ he said quietly, then turned and walked away.
Draco watched him go, thinking about what Chris had said. So now he knew for sure that Granger fancied him. Now, somehow, he had to get her to admit it, and then he had to get her away from Chris.
♥
‘I need to talk to you, Granger,’ Draco called out as Hermione walked down the corridor.
For a moment Hermione considered ignoring him and continuing on her way. She had only a few minutes before her Advanced Arithmancy class was due to start. Draco made his way over to her and grabbed her arm, pulling her to a stop.
She looked at Draco with a touch of fear. The last time he had grabbed her was when he had mentioned having sex with her by force. Although he had denied that he was hinting at raping her, she wasn’t at all sure he had been honest. Draco saw her look, and also remembering their previous encounter he dropped her arm instantly, taking a step back to give her some space.
‘We need to talk,’ he said, his voice as controlled as he could make it.
‘We’ve got nothing to talk about, Malfoy,’ Hermione said abruptly. She adjusted the bag on her shoulder. ‘Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a class to get to.’
‘We need to talk about us,’ Draco continued as if he hadn’t heard Hermione’s words.
‘There is no us, Malfoy,’ Hermione replied shaking her head. ‘Please, just leave me alone.’
‘You’re lying again,’ Draco said accusingly. ‘You know you’re attracted to me, the same way I’m attracted to you.’ He swallowed, wondering why he had just done what he had always sworn he wouldn’t and admitted to Hermione he fancied her.
Hermione shook her head again. ‘You’re wrong,’ she said, although she didn’t sound convinced. ‘Anyway, I’m with Chris.’
‘Please, let’s just talk about it,’ Draco said. He was determined not to beg, but now he had actually started the conversation he wasn’t willing to let Hermione go without a suitable resolution.
‘I’ve got a class to get to,’ Hermione said. She looked uncomfortable. ‘I’ll be late if I don’t go now.’ She started to walk past him.
‘Then meet me for lunch,’ Draco replied rapidly. Hermione looked at him curiously then began to shake her head. ‘Please, Hermione,’ he pleaded. ‘I really need to talk to you about this.’
Hermione looked at him in surprise once more. He had called her by her first name. He had never done that before. Draco’s hand reached out to touch Hermione’s arm once again, resting lightly on it.
‘Please?’ He looked at her avidly.
‘I have to go,’ Hermione said anxiously.
‘Then agree to have lunch with me,’ Draco insisted.
Hermione bit her bottom lip for a moment as she thought. ‘We can’t go to the canteen,’ she said. ‘Harry and Ron will be there.’ She didn’t need to add that they would freak out at the sight of her and Draco together.
‘We’ll go out for lunch,’ Draco agreed, suddenly hopeful that this was going to work out. ‘Meet me at the gates?’
Hermione hesitated for a second, then gave a brief nod. ‘My class finishes at one.’
‘I’ll wait for you,’ Draco replied. He gave Hermione a smile. ‘Thank you, Hermione.’
‘I don’t know why I’m doing this,’ Hermione muttered.
Draco bit back the urge to taunt that it was because she fancied him. Instead, he said mildly, ‘I’ll see you just after one. Have a good class.’
He turned and walked back down the corridor, leaving Hermione to head off to her classroom alone. As he walked he wondered whether she was looking at him but resisted the urge to turn and check.
Hermione watched Draco in confusion as he walked down the corridor away from her. She had no idea why he had changed, but change he clearly had. Almost completely gone was the smug and arrogant manner he usually affected in all his dealings with her, and in its place, it seemed a rather pleasant man was emerging. As she walked towards the classroom she silently berated herself for thinking Malfoy had changed at all. This was just another Slytherin ruse to catch her off her guard. She knew what he was really like, and pleasant wasn’t it.
But he had called her Hermione — and not even as an afterthought, or with obvious difficulty.
She reached her classroom and as she opened the door she let Draco slip from her mind as Arithmancy moved in to take his place.
♥
Draco paced as he waited by the gate for Hermione. If truth be told, he was a little anxious. Although she had finally agreed to meet him, it was possible she had just told him that so he would leave her alone. He really hoped that wasn’t the case. But if she did meet him he would need to be more careful. During their earlier conversation, he had let it slip that he fancied her, something he had never intended to do. The whole point was to get her to admit to fancying him and then he would move in for the kill — but on his terms. He would never be the victor in this contest if he advertised his weakness so blatantly. She was supposed to come to him, to admit her passion for him, not reel him in because she knew of his desire.
But Chris had been right about one thing. Hermione had reacted much more favourably to his suggestion that they have lunch when he had called her by her first name. It was possible that Chris was right about the other things he had said as well, but Draco knew once again that would mean him opening himself up to scrutiny from Hermione, and that was never going to happen.
He glanced at his watch for a moment and then looked in the direction he knew Hermione would be coming from. It was almost ten past one and there was no sign of her. Was she going to stand him up after all?
A little voice in his mind, the little voice that had caused him to do so many nasty things to Hermione over the years, was beginning to whisper about ways to make her pay for the slight she had inflicted upon him by not doing as she had agreed. Perhaps it was time those wankers she called her best friends found out about her secret class, it suggested . . . but Draco locked the voice down tight when he saw her looking a little flustered, hurrying out the door of the college block.
‘I’m so sorry I’m late, Draco,’ Hermione said apologetically when she joined him. ‘I had to stay behind to talk to Professor Benton. I didn’t understand one of the questions he set for homework, so I had to get him to explain it to me.’ She looked upset, and Draco couldn’t work out whether it was because of the homework or because of being late to meet him. He hoped it was the latter.
‘Did you get it sorted?’ he asked sympathetically. He reached out to take Hermione’s bag from her as they walked through the gate.
Hermione looked surprised at Draco’s offer to carry her bag, but she gladly relinquished the heavy item. Draco slung the bag over his shoulder, wondering what the hell she was carrying in there. It felt like a pile of bricks. How on earth did she lug that around all day?
‘I think so,’ Hermione said. ‘At least I understand the principle behind it now. But it’s such a complex calculation I think it’s going to take me all week to work through it.
‘No time for having fun, then,’ Draco said. Or having sex with Chris, the little voice in his mind added gleefully.
Hermione shook her head. ‘Definitely no time for that. I’ve got so much homework stacking up I sometimes think I’ll never get it all finished. It’s ridiculous.’
Draco gave a small laugh. ‘I know what you mean. I always thought we had a lot of homework at Hogwarts, but that was nothing compared to what I get now. I don’t know how they expect us to get it all done, go to our classes, and still have time for some relaxation.’
‘I’m not sure they honestly expect everyone to attend every class,’ Hermione said. ‘I think they factor in that people will be skipping bits, but it does make it difficult for those of us who do attend all the lectures.’
‘Do you want to go to a restaurant to eat or get a sandwich and go and sit in the park?’ Draco asked. ‘I’m happy to do whatever you want.’
Hermione thought for a moment, then looked at him. ‘You said you wanted to talk. So let’s get a sandwich. We’ll have a bit more privacy in the park. I don’t think I would feel comfortable in a restaurant.
What she meant was that she wouldn’t feel comfortable sitting in a restaurant with Draco, as if they were on a date or something. They definitely weren’t, and she didn’t want him getting the wrong idea. Also, she was sure she didn’t want to talk about what Draco wanted to talk about, and embarrassing as the subject was, it was better out in the open space of the park than in a confined restaurant where they could be overheard easily.
Draco nodded his agreement and smiled, although privately he was a little disappointed at Hermione’s choice. He realised he had been hoping to take her to a restaurant, that this would be a proper date rather than the informal chat Hermione was apparently determined to turn it into. He had even decided where they would go already, had chosen in his mind a nice restaurant not too far away that served good food and was pricey enough that Hermione was unlikely to have eaten there before, so she would probably have been quite impressed by it.
‘There’s a rather nice sandwich shop not too far from here. It’s just a couple of streets over,’ Hermione said, indicating down a road to the left. ‘It’s a Muggle one, but I’ve got some Muggle money so that won’t be a problem.’
‘No, I’ll pay,’ Draco said hurriedly. ‘I invited you out, so it’s the least I can do.’
Hermione was surprised that Draco had any Muggle money, although maybe he had expanded his horizons a little and into the Muggle world now that he was at university and wasn’t so tied to his Muggle-hating parents.
A few minutes later they entered the shop, a bustling little place called Hawkins Cafe, and joined the queue of people waiting to be served. Hermione looked at the trays of ingredients, debating what she was going to have to eat. It all looked very tempting.
‘What are you going to have?’ Draco asked. He was trying to decide between some rather nice-looking rare roast beef and a chicken, bacon and avocado mixture teamed with mayonnaise.
‘I’ll have prawn salad on a sunflower bap, please,’ Hermione said. She reached into the cabinet behind her and pulled out a bottle of sparkling water, ‘And this, too.’
‘Can you get me one of those, please?’ Draco asked as he moved forward in the queue.
He gave their order to the server, choosing roast beef and mayonnaise on multi-grain bread for himself, and placed the bottles on the counter to be added to the meal. A few minutes later he paid, and carrying the plain brown bag he had been given he followed Hermione out the door and back towards the park.
‘Shall we go and sit by the bandstand?’ Hermione asked as they entered through the wrought iron gates.
Draco wrinkled his nose. ‘I think it’s going to be quite busy there and they might be playing. It’ll be a bit noisy, and not exactly the most private of places. How about over there?’ He pointed towards a large tree that was giving excellent shade in the hot early afternoon sun. There was no one around apart from one person who was a little way away, lying on their back, asleep in the sunshine. And it was in a good position from which to see the pond and the children’s playground without being close enough to hear the noise of either well-populated area.
‘Okay,’ Hermione said with a shrug. She was trying not to be difficult, even though she was still a little apprehensive about what would happen once they talked.
‘Sun or shade?’ Draco asked as they made their way over to the tree.
‘Oh, shade for me,’ Hermione said. ‘And for you, too, I imagine, with your skin tone.’
Draco looked at Hermione with surprise. ‘I would have thought you would want to sit in the sun. You always used to have such wonderful suntans after the summer holidays.’
‘I do like the sun,’ Hermione replied, ‘but mainly when I’m on holiday. Anyway, I haven’t got any sunscreen on and it’s too fierce at this time of day to sit out without it, I’ll burn. And so will you, unless you always wear factor ninety or something.’
‘I’m not really keen on the sun,’ Draco admitted as they sat down. ‘My skin burns easily, even with sunscreen, so I don’t usually bother trying to get a tan.’
Hermione smiled as Draco passed her sandwich and water bottle to her. ‘I think you would look really strange with a tan.’ She unwrapped the paper around the sandwich, resting it on her knees as she unscrewed the cap on the bottle of water and took a mouthful. ‘Actually, I rather like your pale skin. I wish mine was more like that. Mine goes all freckly.’
Draco felt his heart flutter when Hermione mentioned his skin. It wasn’t exactly an admission that she fancied him, but it was a start.
‘I like your freckles,’ he told her after he finished the mouthful of sandwich he was eating. ‘There aren’t too many of them, and they go well with your tan. They’re pretty.’
Hermione gave a small smile at the compliment. Now that she was talking to Draco, talking properly rather than the usual point-scoring crap they normally engaged in, she realised he was actually quite a nice person. She reflected that he probably always was, within his own circle of Slytherin friends, but the matter of her blood status had always meant there would be problems between him and Hermione.
Had Draco really changed since leaving school? It had only been a little over two and a half years since the battle that had changed everything in the wizarding world, leaving Draco and his family with their old-school, pureblood prejudices set adrift in a brave new world that didn’t tolerate hatred towards Muggle-borns or Muggles. It seemed hard to believe that he would change his views so rapidly; but then, to be honest, he hadn’t had any choice.
‘So is this thing with you and Chris serious, then?’ Draco asked after they had finished eating. He tried to keep his voice light, not wanting to give anything away.
Hermione felt a sudden thud in her stomach. The lunch had been pleasant so far; now they were getting to the bit she really didn’t want to do.
‘I don’t know about serious,’ she said, trying to sound light-hearted, ‘but I really like him . . . and I think he likes me, too.’ She looked at Draco for a moment, knowing he was aware of her terrible track record with boyfriends. ‘At least he hasn’t run away yet, which is a bonus.’
‘He likes you very much,’ Draco admitted, although he didn’t like saying it. He moved closer to Hermione, close enough that he could hold her if he wanted. ‘But then again, so do I.’
Hermione stared at him, not quite sure what to say. Although he had told her in their previous conversation that he fancied her, she hadn’t seriously regarded it as any more than an attempt to get her to meet him for lunch. Yes, she was aware he wanted to take her to bed; he had made that more than clear during their classes. But the way he had just spoken made it sound like he wanted more than that. And that couldn’t be right.
Before she had a chance to answer, Draco wrapped his arms around her and pulled her to him, their faces so close his lips were almost touching hers. He wanted to kiss her, to show her with his lips just how much he wanted her, how much pleasure he could give her if she would just give him the chance. And it would stop him from sabotaging his own plans by saying anything else that he hadn’t meant to reveal. But before he could do it, something inside him warned that to kiss her now, before he had spoken to her, wouldn’t give him the result he wanted. He needed to talk; and as much as he didn’t like the idea, as Chris had told him, if he wanted any chance of a life with Hermione he needed to be honest with her.
‘I really want you, Hermione,’ he blurted out, his grip tightening a little as Hermione squirmed. ‘I fancy you like mad, I have done for ages, but you already know that.’
‘Let me go, Malfoy,’ Hermione said, worried about the way he had suddenly grabbed her. She was aware he was stronger than she was, and if he suddenly decided to carry out the threat he had made so long ago, she wouldn’t be able to stop him.
‘Hermione,’ Draco growled, trying to quell the sudden anger that flared in him at her calling him by his surname when they had been getting on so well. ‘I just want to—’
‘Please, Draco, you’re scaring me,’ Hermione said unhappily.
‘I want you.’ Draco sounded miserable. He squeezed her tightly, then released her a little. ‘I’m not going to hurt you.’
‘I know you want to get in my knickers,’ Hermione said tartly, pushing at Draco to stop him from holding onto her, ‘but it’s not enough . . . not enough for me. I don’t want to be just another notch on your bedpost, Draco, another conquest to tell your friends about. I want more than that from a relationship. I don’t just jump into bed with someone because they’re attractive. I need love and kindness and all those things you can never give me.’
For a moment Draco continued to hold her; then, realising how upset she was, he released her and pulled back to give her some space, although he took hold of her hands instead, to make sure she didn’t run away.
‘I don’t just want to get into your knickers,’ Draco said quietly. He grinned. ‘Actually, I’m not interested in your knickers at all. It’s what’s inside them I’m interested in, but not just as a conquest. I want more than that, too, Hermione. I want to love you and cherish you, protect you from everything bad — and I want to make love to you, to pleasure you and make you happy.’ Hermione shook her head as Draco spoke, not wanting to hear his words. ‘I know you’re attracted to me, too,’ Draco continued a little more forcefully, determined that Hermione should admit to him that she wanted him as badly as he wanted her.
‘You are handsome,’ Hermione admitted grudgingly, ‘but I told you, you can’t give me what I need so I don’t want to get tangled up with you. It’s just not going to happen.’
‘How do you know I won’t give you what you need when you won’t even give me a chance?’ Draco asked reasonably.
‘Whatever you might say now, I know you’re not interested in a relationship with me,’ Hermione said. ‘You want to fuck me, pure and simple. I know that because you’ve mentioned it often enough. All this stuff about wanting more is just to make me lower my guard. You’ll give me all the platitudes in the world until I go to bed with you and then you’ll dump me — and knowing you, you’ll use what we’ve done as an opportunity to humiliate me further.’
She added unhappily, ‘You know what a mess my love life is, Draco. You said yourself I can’t keep hold of a man. I don’t know why it is, but it’s true, I can’t. But that doesn’t mean I have to throw myself at anyone who shows an interest, as if I was some desperate old maid.’
‘It’s not like that,’ Draco said.
‘I need to go,’ Hermione told him, trying to pull her hands from Draco’s. ‘I need to get back for class.’
‘No,’ Draco said bluntly. ‘You’re not running away from this, Hermione. Don’t be a coward. You need to face up to the fact that you fancy me and that I could make you happy if you just gave me a chance.’
Hermione shook her head. ‘We are not destined to be a couple, Draco. We’ve never got on, and your sudden desire to fuck me doesn’t change that. Anyway, I’m not interested in doing anything with you. I’m with Chris, remember?’
‘And you think Chris will give you what you want, do you?’ Draco asked belligerently. ‘How can he do that when you don’t even really want to be with him?’
‘Of course I want to be with him,’ Hermione countered hotly. ‘I like Chris. I enjoy his company and we’re good together.’
‘Oh, you like him. That’s nice. It’s a shame you don’t feel as passionately about him as you do about me, otherwise the relationship might be worth having. Let’s face it, Hermione: even Chris knows you would rather be with me.’
‘The only passion I feel for you is dislike,’ Hermione said, although she looked a little guilty at saying it, ‘and I don’t want to be with you, Draco however many times you say it.’
‘Why do you keep lying?’ Draco asked, his frustration rising again. ‘The fact is that you want me just as much as I want you, but you’re either too scared or too stubborn to admit it.’
And then once again he grabbed Hermione, pulling her towards him. This time he didn’t pause before kissing her. He’d had enough of talking. Now he was going to show her what she was missing by not admitting her desire.
The kiss took Hermione completely by surprise, and before she could engage her brain, her body reacted automatically, the desire for Draco she had kept so deeply repressed forcing its way out of its prison. She grabbed him back, her lips attacking just as vigorously as his, the feel of his hard body finally pressed against hers causing her blood to race. She felt and heard Draco start with surprise as their lips parted for a moment, but then his mouth was on hers once more, his hands moving from around her body, one to twine through her hair, the other now caressing.
And then a voice in Hermione’s brain kicked into gear and screamed at her to stop, reminding her in complete contradiction to everything her body was telling her that she didn’t have feelings for Draco and didn’t want to be with him. And then she thought of Chris and guilt flooded through her like a wave.
She pulled back from Draco and tried to get away, fighting him when he attempted to pull her back for another kiss. Hermione’s hand connected with his face with a sharp, stinging slap that surprised Draco enough that he released her, looking at her in confusion. Hermione scrambled to her feet before he could touch her again and grabbed her bag, hauling it over her shoulder.
‘That should never have happened. I’m going out with Chris, not you,’ she said rapidly. ‘Just keep away from me, Draco.’
Before Draco could say anything, Hermione turned and ran from the park.
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